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And it was always kind of like an agreed deal that when he passed away, I was going to get the property. But it happened when I was really young. So obviously that didn't happen. But like as I moved out, my mom kind of took it over. And like now they all live on campers. There's her and like her kind of fuck buddy. They live on two different campers. And they named the whole... Not even fucking boyfriend. Your mom's got a situation ship that's squatting on your land. In a fucking trailer. That's fucking tough dude. That's White Trash Bingo right there. Okay, keep going. Property into basically like a meth head junkyard. Alright, we really just got meth head. White Trash Bingo. My mother's getting up there in age. She's like almost 70. And I really, really want to make sure that when she passes, it's set in stone that I'm going to inherit this property. Your mother who's your mother. So how do I bring up to my mother that we need to talk about her will? To because to me, it feels like I'm basically going up to her and being like, Hey mom, so you're getting really fucking old. Let's talk about what's going to happen afterwards. Like I get that that's like a conversation needs to happen. But how do I do that with my mother? Anyway, love you. Bye bye. Yeah, this is tough. I will say this though. You shouldn't feel awkward about this. And the fact that you're sweating it. To me, just shows that your mom doesn't sound surprised is what we know. Isn't that good a parent, right? Because I will tell you this. I don't know if you guys have, but like my mom straight up was like, has talked about her will, has talked about her plans, has been like we. There was a moment like a couple years ago where we set up her like living like, you know, trust and I did this just to be safe. I did the same. You know, we all just everybody's getting older. You know, I have a plan in place even just in case. You know what I mean? A young, healthy buck like me. I mean, people would be shocked if I was given an Elvis. Oh, no. Yeah. Elvis, Elvis, Elvis is going to wake up. It's going to be like a Saw Style game. It's going to be, it's going to be Elvis and fucking who else? You're going to be fucking chained to Ian Fydans. And it's going to be like, what is like a key just out of reach. You have to fucking saw off Ian's ankles. In your last days, you record those videos. Yeah, I was like, this is a weird. What is this for? It's like, don't worry about it. He's the one who helped me fucking put them together. He forgot. He wasn't paying attention. I'm doctoring your will. You, you, you will never have access to my actual lawyer. My mom, my mom's 77, which I even now at some goes on. You're like, that's, I want her to live a lot longer than that. But she's talked about her. She talks about her will arguably too much. That's exactly. And we'll be like, this is, I want this song played at my funeral. We're like, all right, shut the fuck up. I don't want to think about this, but I'm sorry that you're a member of the dad, the dad's club. And I don't know if the funeral director showed you. Yeah. Yeah. The funeral director make you look at your dad's day. Asshole, like a step is like a fucking telescope. Did you walk in on the funeral director? And then maybe we need to, here's what we saw. We send the jerker to exhume your father's corpse. I wonder if his powers stop working. If there's no meat on the skeleton. Maybe that's what it is. You have to at least have meat. It would be funny if he could make you be zombies though. If he could jack off a skeleton and it would be like, ooh. We don't know. We actually don't know the extent of the jerkers powers. He might have off his power bucket stronger. Yeah. If he's really strong, if he's jacked off, his powers are the most potent right after he jacks off. So if you ever really hurt kid, he's just fucking beating off real bad. He's in the ER jacking his shit, trying to get the full strength so he can save a whole busload of orphans that crashed. You just hear him in the bathroom attached to the room like, come on, come on. These kids have to live, man. The parents like, you need any help? Stop talking, please. I'm trying to focus. If you want, my wife can suck you off if that means my son lives. It's like, no, it doesn't count if I get sucked off. I'm the jerker, not the getting sucked off or idiot. He gets an attitude with the parents. Sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just as high leverage. Now stop talking to me so I can finish jacking off and save it and bring your children back to life by grabbing their arms, pretending they're beating off. Okay, so the jerker probably can't help us here because your dad's been dead quite some time. So that's unfortunate because that would have solved everything. Solved everything. You got the jerker to bring your dad back to life and testify. The jerker doesn't exist. The jerker and the whale are real if you believe it, Mitch. Okay, so unfortunately the jerker and the whale can't be of any help here. But what I would do, what I would do, okay, look. What is your relationship to your mom? Step number one is you find your own lawyer. That's absolute step one, right? Find your own lawyer, see if there were any legal documents, go through what happened when your dad passed, if your name is anywhere, and other than that, and I think that's just, you know, standard protocol, right? Like, just understand where you're at. It seems like her relationship with her mom is pretty good. Her mom is just kind of on her own, in her own world. Yes, yeah. So, like, how you bring it up is like, hey, I mean, I think you have a perfect way to bring it up where you're like, hey, you know, me and dad always, I mean, this might be kind of corny, or I don't know how hard it is to like, get your mom to take you seriously, but I don't know, is there like an anniversary of your dad's passing, or is there like, is there like his birthday, or is there like something that almost triggers a memory, where you're like, I was thinking about it, I was reflecting, that's like, dad always wanted me to have this, I love this property, like, can we just, I'd love for us to just like, put it in writing, you know? And if your mom fights you on that, then like, that's a bigger problem. Yeah, did she say that she had siblings at all, or is that what she's afraid of, or she's afraid of it like, going to this like, situation, guys, that maybe what she's afraid of. I would assume, yeah, who knows, even though she's not married, the mom at least isn't married in, which I guess is good, but you never know. She could have an old meth head squatter, who's fucking her seven year old meth mom. I'm also curious about the meth head thing. This relationship, yeah. I don't know, I don't know how flippantly she's using meth, if it's like, you know, the place is just trash, but they're just like, trading racks of people. Maybe they just party every once in a while, smoke a little ice to cool off. Not a ton of seven year old meth heads either, right? That is true. You're usually kind of, your time is up. Is this like a share situation where her mom's got like a sexy young meth head boyfriend? Oh Jesus, that is, that is, that's a scary scenario. Because that's scary. Yeah, that is scary. Basically, I would say talk to the lawyer because here's how I see the situation. Either you talk to your mom and she, it's a little awkward, sure, but also she's not fucking stupid. She knows she's 70. And if she was a good parent, here's the thing you need to understand. If she was a good parent, she would be making this easier on you. She would be meeting you halfway. She would be saying like, let's get everything, I want you to be taken care of when I'm gone, all this stuff, right? So either you bring it up to your mom and you just have the hang up because you think it's weird to talk about death. I'll tell you it's not. We've all talked, like we just said, we've talked about with our moms. Yeah. Like you're fine. It's not a comfortable conversation. It's not comfortable. Yeah, but like, yes. But it's, but it also, it's like, it almost feels clinical, right? It's like, it's like when you show the doctor your balls, you're not, your dick's not getting hard. Yeah. Like talking about dying when no one's actually going to die. It's like, yes, we're talking about this conceptually, but no one's, right now, no one's like in danger here. So I want my sister, I was like, I was having some issues and I went to my sister's doctor. And it was a lady doctor and she was like, gave me an inspection. I was like, just so you know, it's like, it's been very, I said this, I was like, I've had like a lot of shrinkage and she, and, and, and I just, you know, my dick's kind of like medically. And then she, and then when she was giving me the exam, she was like, oh yeah, I see. I was like, the confirmation killed me more than anything. You have a medically small dick. The doctor's like, oh, absolutely. I could put, I'll put this official diagnosis on your chart. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What do you mean you have had shrinkage? Your dick has gotten smaller? You've gotten, it was, it was like very compact. I was like, it's been very compact lately. Oh, just lately? Your dick's been fucking compact lately? Look, it's not big always, but it was like I had, there was like a thing when my stomach hurts. Your dick, your dick tenses up? It's my dick tenses up a lot. Does that not happen to you or no? I mean a little, but not like, not to the point where I would tell a doctor about it. Oh yeah, I told her. If I jack my shit, if I like fucking, you know, give it a couple hits against the old thigh, it'll loosen up. I would never. I already work with better than that. I mean also. I mean, listen, I did a point, I'm talking really this, you know what I mean. And thigh, the very top of the thigh. Oh man, that one on my chart, next to weight 350 to 500 pounds. That's so funny to say that to your doctor. I got a rectal exam once. The gastro, like, you know, lubed up his finger, put it up my ass. You're like, uh? I mean, I definitely was like. That's a great bit by the way. Anybody ever has the nerve to get it when they're getting a colonoscopy to be like, uh? He did that. I definitely like made a weird little noise or something. It wasn't a moment, but it was like. It's not like this happened exactly. After after he did, I was like putting my pants on. I was like, well, I've never had that done before just for like no reason. You said that. Yeah. By the way, no one's ever put anything in my ass before. You're like, you're like, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. Every time he's feeling your inside your ass. He just didn't respond at all. Yeah, sure, buddy. That's so fucking funny. You're like, your dick gets hard. I sit all over his head. You nut, you moaned nut and shit in his hand. That's right. Effective. Hold on. Whoa. That's never happened to me. Do you usually moan nut and then shit in the guy's hand? So anyway, I guess what I would say to our friend here is it's going to go one of two ways, either it's a little annoying up top and then you just have the conversation or your mom's going to be a dumb bitch and not be helpful in which case you either it's either not a non issue or you kind of probably need a lawyer. And I think the other thing to I mean, like I think this my thought like my sister and I every every my mom's family and my dad's family, I've just seen all of the shit with wills and it's like it's never good. Of course, you know, it's just it's never good and people are always fighting. Oh yeah, Greek people. It's classic where it's like whoever moves here, the people in Greece always steal your land. Yeah, your cousin in Greece always steals like your land. It's just what happens. And it's that sort of thing of like if you're if you're almost like resigned to that already, it's good to like I think having that conversation and then just like putting out of your head and being like, I may never get this. You know what I mean? Like I know that's hard because that's a good chunk of money or whatever. That's a great point. That's a great point. Yeah. But like just being like, hey, this at the end of the day, some young big dick meth guy might steal this property. It's a possibility. And I think having that conversation and making sure it doesn't happen. But then also like, I think really we need a little more info from her because it's like, how are you just worried about the awkwardness of death? Because if that's the case, I think this is a non issue and you'll be fine. Yeah. If your mom is just kind of a kooky, but nice woman ultimately, you'll be fine. If you're worried more about like her weird friends who live in these in her fucking makeshift meth head trailer park, going to try and take over like that. Those are two different conversations, but also she's almost 70 is not that old either. You know what I mean? Like, I might be dead before her mom. Yeah. I mean, it's old enough though. I mean, it is. Almost. You're right. If she's in her 60s, it's not that, but it's, it's, you know, you're totally fine to have the conversation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
