This is a Head Gum Podcast. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking the layout of each hole when you're playing mini golf. That'll cost you. You confidently potted your ball through the clown's mouth and it went straight into the water hazard. Ouch! Yeah, check-in first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. All savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state and North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. In partnership with Airbnb, let's talk a little bit about travel. Tig, as you know, I'm about to go on my first big tour around the United States. And while I'm traveling in a bus, I want to make sure I get a couple nights in a nice comfy bed that's not on wheels. So I'm going to book a couple nights stay on Airbnb. That sounds like a plan, May. What area are you looking? Well, I'm going to be in Florida, which I'm very excited about. And I'd love to find somewhere with a hot tub or a sauna that I can relax in. Maybe some nice nature nearby, like a big park or something. I love finding a home on Airbnb because I know I can get the place all to myself and I can read tons of reviews and make sure it's a great place. Airbnb also has guest favorites badges that show me the highest rated and most loved homes. I've just never gone wrong booking one of those. You know I swam with sharks in Florida. Is that something you would ever try? I hadn't thought about that. But if I'm near the ocean, then who knows? Maybe I will. On the other hand, if I find a really nice place on Airbnb, I may just never want to leave. Pretty little episode. Welcome to handsome's pre-lip. I'm fortunate because I'm a Martin. And we're coming to you right after the big holiday. Yes, indeed. After Christmas. So everybody's probably fill in their bellies with some leftovers today. We hope all your dreams came true and your wishes were answered. I just googled before we started, I just googled, why do they call Boxing Day Boxing Day? Do they call it that in America? I don't know. I mean, I've heard of Boxing Day, but I don't know what it is. Oh, it's the day after Christmas. Isn't that celebrated quite a bit in Canada and England? It's not a big thing over here and all think. Oh, maybe. OK, yeah, Boxing Day is usually like there's Boxing Day sales and. Oh, yeah, I know. And it says it's named after the practice of giving Christmas boxes filled with gifts, money and food to servants and tradespeople who had to work on Christmas Day. Oh, look at that. It could come from the church alms boxes that collected donations for the poor, which were opened and distributed the day after Christmas. That's cool. I see. I never knew because, yeah, when I was in England, England, I was in Spain for Christmas once and they Boxing Day was a thing and they have something called Three Kings Day and like there's just these different holidays that they celebrate that I and I knew in Canada, Boxing Day was a thing. Mm hmm. Yeah, you got to hit the you got to hit the shops. For America, what's the big shopping day around Christmas? Is it is there is it Christmas or is it New Year's? I don't know. Do you do you get like Cyber Monday or like Black Friday? Is that a thing? That's Thanksgiving. Oh, OK. Those are the big. I guess those are our big sales out here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I'm not a big shopper, so I could care less about that. Those I'm trying to be shopping days. I'm trying to be less of a shopper, like trying to give a lot of Christmas presents that are paintings and stuff for things I make from the heart. Fortunately, I will. And I'm glad I'm kind of glad it's just you today. You know, really? Because I have to tell you. Well, I don't want to be ridiculed for this purchase. So please let this be a safe space. It'll ridicule you. What is this, a drum machine? Yeah, it's a drum machine. It's a drum machine. You're in a full electronic band in your house. Seriously. And let me tell you, it's harder than you think. The Chuck E. Cheese Band. Yeah. And I sort of thought, I don't know, because it's small and electric. It would be easy, but you do actually have to know how to play the drums, which I don't. This isn't like a pre of pre made beat. I'm sure it has that, but it's been pretty fun. Pound in a way. Are you wanting to learn a drum? What I want is to be able to create a full song just by myself, because I make demos and stuff with guitar and bass and things. I always have to go to friends or producers to add things. And it would be cool to. Oh, OK. So we've got a drum, an electric drum thing, a synthesizer. Yeah, I've got a keyboard. I've got a keyboard at your your acoustic guitars. Electric electric. And what any other. That's about it. It's harmonica. I play the harmonica. Can you play harmonica a little bit? I'd I'd really like to learn something like a violin, but. Oh, my God. Don't do that. I'm sorry. It's really hard. You play the flute. Not me. Wait. So really? I've never played. I played a trumpet for a couple of like two years in junior high. Maybe I did not. I did not a flute. Is it the flute? How are you shocked if take played a flute? Who plays the flute then? Lizzo. Yeah, I swear. One of us plays the flute, but maybe it was the trumpet I'm thinking of. I talked to the ladies in the chicks band formerly the Dixie Chicks. So Emily plays the banjo. She said that's ridiculously hard. Yeah, but it's nothing compared to how hard the what it is, not the violin. What's the other cello? Gosh, so no, it's another handheld thing, but like a violin. Is it a fiddle? No, fiddle. Yeah, fiddle. So our sister, Marty, plays a fiddle, and apparently it's like insanely hard. So hard, but how impressive. Yeah, I did a show at Largo the other day where I sometimes do covers of Elliot Smith songs there and I had the Watkins family hour that musical brother and sister act have been around forever and they she plays the violin and so they accompanied me and it was like the simplest acoustic song and then as soon as that violin comes in, you're just you want to weep like it's so beautiful. It just elevates any song to like if we added violin to our theme song, we'd be winning all the webbies. When in those webbies? When in those podcasting trophies? We could we they couldn't deny us because they're like, listen to that violin intro. Yeah. Well, I think, you know, what we have, it ain't broke. So you want to fix it. You're right. That's usually a song when when you're a fan of something and then something you love about it changes. It's a sign things are going to go like when the survivor theme song changed. I was like, I think it's back to normal now. I didn't know it. I didn't know it changed briefly. I think you still watch that show a lot. Of course. I'm here every week. Oh, my gosh. This season's great. I guess it'll be over by the time this comes out. And then season 50 will be about to air, which is all previous players. Yeah. And a big season, 50 seasons of Survivor. It's going to be epic. Would you ever like, I know Mike White has done it like he's on. He's on season 50. Oh, really? Would you ever consider it? I mean, it's so close to to parve and I feel so like I'd want to do her legacy proud almost because then it's just she can't be touched. So I don't know. I'd like to just know you'd have to do your own thing. I think I'd be so anxious about washing my face. And I think maybe when I'm like 50 and, you know, then I would do it. I would like to do it. You never know. I can tell you with great certainty, there's not a chance in hell. I would do that show. Would you do would you do traders? Uh, really? I got asked to do. I've been asked to do several reality shows. I got asked to celebrity big brother. I've been asked to do the mass singer. I've said no to all right. I just love games, but you're not. Yeah. I'll do like game. I don't mind game shows. I've done plenty of those. I was on celebrity will of fortune and Jeopardy. Yes, I've done like pyramid. But but I've realized I like those games a lot. But some of the games is when because I always think I'm not an anxious person. But then under a timer answering questions, the anxiety shoots through me. Oh, like your mind else. Yeah. And you just go blank. Like, yeah. Yeah. Some of those some of those trivia games with timers on them. Because I'm fairly decent at trivia, but you put a timer on it and I'm I'm done for. Yeah. I think it's always a good strategy to just and say something really confidently because then funny stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I'd love to go on those shows. I'd love to see you on Trader. So I think you'd be incredible. I love the game, Mafia, but it gives me so even in just a game with friends, it gives me so much stress. Yeah. Having to like be deceitful. Yeah. I don't care for it. No one would see it coming with you. I've that I played like a crazy ass game in Mafia with I'll never forget with my Sunday company. And I was down to two of us. And I had to be so convincingly lying. Because you were you were Mafia. Uh-huh. And he was like, you guys, she's lying. And I'm like, I had to be like, you got it. You know, everyone's like, she wouldn't do that. But you know, for the game. And yeah. And then I just felt like a monster. I mean, there's a thing there's a UK season of celebrity traders on right now. And it's in it's all famous. It's like like Stephen Fry and Jonathan Ross, like Alan Carr, these really famous British comedians and actors and Celia Emory is on. And she's like, I think she's like an Oscar winning, super respected actress. She's in her seventies. And so they're explaining one of the challenges to all the contestants. And it's really tense and they're in this dark room and they're like, the host is like, OK, play as it's Claudia Winkleman. And she's like, you will have to find a shield. And then there's a silence. And then you just hear and then everyone looks and Celia Emory just farted. And she's like, I'm so sorry. I but I always own up when I've done it. That was me. I thought it's incredible. Yeah, I love that. Don't you wish people were more confident with a well timed fart? They're two. I wish it was more accepted. Especially when you're that age, though, you can kind of be like my bad. Yeah. I was my British accent. My bad. My bad. Yeah. Well, so let's get to some questions. Let's do it. Hello to whatever combination of take, fortune and may I am lucky enough to speak to this is Sarah calling from Maine. My question is if you could pass a law that's like not super high stakes, so nothing about fixing all of the actual problems, but like just something that you think would make the world marginally better. What law would you pass and why? Great question. Oh, man, I actually have so many like I. My first thought was that it should be illegal to say, OK, slowly backing away now. You know, when people do that. I don't think I've heard that much in real life, but I have seen it in a lot of movies or TV shows. Yeah, I just remember working in call centers and stuff where I would do something not even eccentric, like just something I'd go, oh, yeah, I. You know, I'm just I'm going to have a glass of hot water. That's good for my and they go, OK, slowly backing away now. And I feel like all right. That's funny. Um, I guess maybe we would all be better for that. I think we would. You would be better for that, for sure, because you hate it. I think I would like to massively change all school curriculums. This is a big jump from my last suggestion, but I'm just like we should be teaching relationship skills and schools and and financial literacy and and gender and and and better history. And like, yeah, I would just make my own school curriculum. Whole unit on the Beatles. Plus to like, yeah, just like throwing in some like empathy classes and like emotional intelligence, communication stuff. And and also the schools at the curriculum currently is very. Centered. It's specifically designed for people, you know, when you deal with the right brain and left brain, the side of your brain that's creative is not the one that why can't I think which one's which right brain is. I think right brain is like logical and. OK, so that's. Yeah, so the the logic side is what the curriculum is based on. So if your brain fires in that way, you tend to excel. But if you're a left brain or you're more creative or your visual, you need to, you know, picture things. They don't teach that. And so you those people tend to lag behind. Yeah, they I know a kid who at their school and in grade one, they could if they were kind or cooperative, they would get stars. And then if you get enough stars, you get like student of the week and you get a prize or something like it's it's very like. Yeah. And but if you have to go pee, you have to spend one of your stars. So you're like being all right. I know. So all these kids were like holding their pee and not wanting to go pee or blow their nose because they have to spend their stars. And I'm like, oh, come on, my gosh. Yeah, yeah. That's not good. He whenever maybe having more more bike lanes and like biking be more of you know how like in Amsterdam bikes are so prevalent. Yeah. Having more of that would be kind of cool. You know, right now you don't want to ride your bike because it's like it's not very pedestrian friendly. Yeah. And so I think if it were more part of the culture and it would be something a lot more people would do, I'd like that. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine if LA was a big bike city, that would be great. Yeah. Yeah. Should we hear Sarah's answer? Let's hear it. My answer to this question, I have two. The really unserious one is that I would make it a law that you could not do any advertising or merchandising for Christmas until after Thanksgiving, because I think we just really need to write that stuff in. And then my slightly more serious one is that I think everyone should have to take refresher drivers ed and pass the test again every 10 years. Thanks so much for having me on. Bye. She's not wrong about that because you're dealing with that right now. Prepping or you've you've just done it. Well, I'm really notice I'd noticing also in learning how to drive how badly everyone I know drives like no one's doing all the things that they teach you in school. I mean, I wouldn't mind and I don't mean to be ages to your insane this, but at a certain age, I feel like there should be check ins of like, otherwise it's up to your families to be like, hey, you shouldn't be driving anymore. Yeah. Like I know my grandmother, like she, you know, probably should have not been driving a little bit sooner than when we realized it. Totally. So actually, now that we're here, I imagine it is really hard to stay on top of like cultural changes and the evolution of things as you get older and maybe having like every decade, you have a little course just to like technological changes that you need to be up to date on or like, yeah, things that we're annoying for sure. But like it wouldn't hurt. It wouldn't hurt. And just to learn about like, yeah, new terminology and things that you need to learn. Yeah, and improving people's driving in general. Sure. Wouldn't hurt. Yeah. I like that, Sarah. Thank you. Thanks, Sarah. Should we squeeze another one? Oh, squeeze it in. Squeeze it in. Squeeze a none. Squeeze a none. Squeeze a none. Squeeze a none. Hi, Tim. Hi, May. Hi, Fortune. This is Katie from Central Wisconsin. My question is if you had to have a retirement job, what would it be? So like you retired and then you had to go or you wanted to go work some more because you can't sit on your butt like me. So you wouldn't got a job after you retired. What would your retirement job be? Hmm. Well, I'd be older. So I don't want to, because like at this age, I'd be like wanting to be outside and on my feet, but at that age, I want a cush job. Yeah. And it's still been in your feet because you want to stay active. I like those greeter jobs that some of the older folks do, you know, at different like fast food restaurants or Walmart or something like that, where you just say hello to people as they come in. Is that a thing where you just go, welcome? Oh, yeah, that'd be nice. Or they're like, you know, help clear tables or stuff like that. Yeah. But it's mainly being social. I always said my mom would be so good at those. Now she's too old, but there was a window after she retired where she still had a lot of spunk. Yeah. And would get bored sometimes. And a greeter job would have, she would have loved, but she ended up doing that for the USO, but as a volunteer position for like 10 years. So she did scratch that itch. Yeah. That I mean, she's a ray of sunshine to be greeted by ginger anywhere. Right. Yeah. I think I would, well, I'm thinking about the other jobs that I would like, like I would love to work with kids. Like maybe I would. So let's say I'm in my 70s or something. Maybe I'm getting a, I'm teaching a weekly mythology course to like 10 year olds. And I'm, I'm, I'm really trying to like make their minds explode. Maybe not mythology, but I'd like to teach kids, I think. Something whimsical. Something whimsical for kids. Yeah. Maybe putting on little local community theater shows with kids or with like special needs kids or something that would be really fun. Yeah. Or I listened to a podcast about a guy who went into prisons and put on Shakespeare productions with the prisoners. Like that would be incredible. I'm noticing though that I'm always like having to be in some kind of leadership role. Like I think I'm bossy. I think I. Are you? I think I am. Yeah. And I don't, I like, I don't get to scratch that itch enough. I'd like to be in charge of a group of people and be like, yeah. Well, that's what it looks. You got to do that with your show. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun to give a pep talk to a group of people. We're going to go. We're going to get this done. We're going to have a good time. Kind of like that. Yeah. Okay. Should we hear Katie's answer? Yeah. My dream retirement job is to be one of those singing, like, telegram people who dress in a ridiculous outfit and then make up songs to like parodies for people's birthdays and what have you. I love to just make up random songs. And I think that would be so fun. Yeah. I like that. I think we once said that I would quit the podcast via, no, you that you guys would tell me I'm fired from the podcast via singing telegram. Oh my God. That one would never. What? I would never. I mean, we'll sing it. Sing it. Send you a telegram for something much more positive. How about that? Yeah, it would soften the blow though. If it was. Yeah. A little barbershop quartet. They always talk about singing telegrams on movies and TV shows, but have you ever I've never seen one in real life. I think one of my in middle school, there were like a couple of kids who wanted to do that and they would go classroom to classroom sometimes on the charity day. You could you could pay like a dollar and they would deliver a message to another student like Karen has a crush on you. Really wouldn't fly these days. We had that, but around Valentine's Day at school, but it was like you could purchase a candy bouquet, which was just like a bouquet of like suckers. Yeah. And you could write a little love note on it. And that's how some people would let their crushes know that they were into them. Huge day. Oh, I'm so anxiety inducing. Oh my God. That's right. I didn't get one. That's all right. No. Oh, usually the people getting them were like those like handful of eighth graders that were in a relationship. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So and it would have been like what where they their boyfriends would have been in big trouble if they didn't send one. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Oh my God. Tyler didn't. Tyler didn't send me a candy bouquet. That's right. Grounds for breakup, but weirdly enough, I did not have a boyfriend. So that is weird. And I was not enough of a feminist yet to know that I could buy my own and send yourself a candy bouquet. Why not? Why not? Well, that was another fun one. It was indeed. We always love everyone asking us questions. You can submit your questions or advice requests to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod as we go into a new year. I'm sure there are things that you want to ask us you guys or advice you want as you start making your vision boards. I which I assume everyone is doing. That's right. Thinking about your resolutions. Now is the time, y'all, as the year is coming to an end to be thinking about what you want to accomplish in 26 or personally, professionally, love, relationships, all the things I think it's good to just, you know, the manifestation thing. I believe in it. I believe in manifestation. Also, I hope everyone's just chilling, sitting around, soaking up the end of the year. Yeah. Enjoy the rest of the year. Thank you for being with us. We love you. We love you a lot. Hopefully I see some of you guys in Seattle. I'm doing a New Year's Eve show that night. So if you are looking for a fun hang, come come join me. I'll be there in disguise in a fake mustache and and glasses. And then right at the countdown, I'm going to walk on stage. Shed my mustache. Plant one on you with a candy bouquet. Yeah. With a candy bouquet. Yeah. I only close that loop. A lot of tree. Well, I guess all the all the remains. Yep. Keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, May Martin and Fortune Thiemster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast.
