I've Never Seen This Before | Financial Audit

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. I wanted to come on here because, like I said, I feel like you've had a lot of libtarded trans people on here. I still don't know what that means. Like, libtel, left wing. We have people left wing on this show. We have people right wing on this show. I thought maybe you might be one as well. Why am I libtard? Just the people they have on here. Oh my goodness, you have an only f***. That has nothing to do with me working with kids during the day. Oh. I put them through training boot camp, essentially. I'm also sure the parents of the school loves that you have a boot camp. Something big is coming. Something that's going to change personal finance forever. And the first 500 members get to lead the charge. Go to DollarWise.com to change the future. Hi, I'm Vixen. I'm 32 years old. I'm from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and this is Financial Audit. okay i have to ask a couple questions just so i'm being respectful one are you born a woman no really yeah i hit it well i guess that's actually not that complicated it's not you clocking tea right away well fake tits and masculine features who would have thought not me good i just want to make sure i'm being respectful i paid a lot for you to not say that you're on the sheet well yeah but that never really works i know that's okay people know um but that's okay doesn't mean i don't respect uh you know whatever you want to do so are you she her you you specifically You actually requested not to do pronouns at the beginning. Please, yes. Okay, and I can do that. I've been called they, them before. Okay, that was very upsetting. Yeah. Based on what you just did with your face. This is offensive. And you are naturally white? Yes. Okay, because I see lots of dark tones that I feel like you're trying to hide on your face. Oh, sure, no. Like there's some black here and here. Yeah, no, that's just contouring. It didn't blend well enough. Okay, I thought maybe you were pulling like a white chick's situation. No, I'm naturally white. Norwegian. Okay. That's good. Norwegian trans. We love them. Yeah. That's everyone's favorite kind of trans. I mean, you've had a lot of interesting trans on here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. You've had a lot of lived out trans on here. Switching sides. Lived out trans? Libtarded trans, yeah. Libtarded trans. What does that even mean? Yeah, I don't know. I was thinking that you kind of had a thing for lived hearted trans. I don't think I've. I mean, I don't hate trans people, but I also don't think I've ever had sex with a trans people. Never know. Oh, no. Well, I mean, once you get down there, you kind of know. Sometimes. Sometimes not, though. Okay, then pause. Can I ask the question? You may ask the question. Is it there? Does it dangle? No. Really? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. How much does this cost? Well, thankfully, I got covered by insurance. Insurance? Yes, insurance. Okay. A lot of people are going to be upset that they've contributed to the pile that makes their premiums more expensive for that, but I don't really care what people do. Genuinely, generally. I wanted to come on here because, like I said, I feel like you've had a lot of libt-hearted trans people on here. I still don't know what that means. Like, libt-out, like super left-wing. We have people left wing on the show. We have people right wing on the show. I thought maybe you might be one as well. Like a libtard. Why do you even think that? Like, I don't even care if someone does, but... I don't know. I've watched a lot of your shows. No, every time I take a political compass test, I'm pretty much in the middle. I'll take left wing positions when the facts are there. I'll take right wing positions when the facts are there. That doesn't mean I sit in the middle on every issue. It means I start from the middle and then go where the facts are. I don't really give a shit where it comes from. Why am I libtard? Just the people they have on here. We just accept who applies on the show. I'm guessing you are not libtard because that's very important to you. Identity politics, critical to you making it through your life, I guess. Yeah, definitely, especially in this world. But you're trans, you know them, right? Exactly. Okay. Do you think you should play in women's sports? No. Okay. I don't think that's fair. You're a controversial one, aren't you? Yes. You're all over the place. All over the place. How did you get there? How did I get where? It's rare to get a right wing trans. I wouldn't call myself right wing. Okay. You immediately called me a libtard. It's hard to not think you are. I know. But I don't agree with everything. The right is going. Okay. Just confusion out of the game. Okay. I know. I'm an interesting one. What do you do for a living? How about let's start there? What do you think I do for a living? I already know what you do for a living because you told me before, dumbass. Stupid bitch, and I can actually use that word correctly. Can't. You know? True. Or someone saying it correctly, but I don't care. There's a lot worse things you can call me, too. I'm not using the F word. You're not going to get me to use it. I'm not going to use it. I'm not going to use it. We'll see. You're not going to get me to use it, Colton. There's another one. I'm not going to say it. There's another one. Yeah, that one. Oh, is that the one? Yeah. I use it all the time. Okay. I assume you use the N-word as well. No, not really. No? I've been accused of it, but... Who accuses people of using the N-word? People that don't like me. Without actually hearing you say the N-word. Yeah, no. I mean, you do look like a Fox News host with a jawline. With a jawline. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Right? I'm planning more surgery. Okay, how much has this all cost? Because this is financial audit. Right, and it is mostly covered by insurance. Okay, what have you spent on it dollar-wise? Great budget now, by the way. I was just going to say nice. Okay, all right, calm down, calm down, calm down. How much does it cost you? Upwards. Some of the other people are coming in late, Brandon and Lindsay. They watch so they can do the pro show, post show. Brandon, we have a... Oh, he knows. I love it. We love it. I waved at him before I came in here. He's like, who is this person? Okay, so how much does this cost you? You're affirming surgeries. Yeah, well, what have I had to pay or what is it like? Oh my goodness, yes! Your money! Why have you spent? Because I know you don't make much money even though you haven't told us what you do yet. It's kind of annoying, but I know what you do. I assume it doesn't make that much, but please, How much have you spent? Please. It's like, I'm very thankful. I've been like five to seven. Okay. Over the course of? Like years? Over the course of how long? Six years. Okay. And how much is the rest of your surgeries, gender affirming, going to cost? You know, she doesn't have a penis. It's impressive. Thank you. Sorry. I like to share these things with Brandon. He didn't get to experience the first five minutes of this mind-blowing conversation. That's fine. Yeah. So how much? Don't you just leak urine? Isn't that the issue, though? I've heard of that. That is something that happens, yeah. See, you gave a face like, well, that's weird. Well, that's not my experience. But it happens to people that don't grow the right people. Okay, so what do you do? I am a manager at a coffee shop. Okay. we got there good very good and how much do you make Vixen about 800 a week is that your net is that what's your count I have another one coming in Lizzie do you know she does not have a penis I did know that it's impressive how do you know these things you're not even the producer who signed to this episode well because I'm obsessed with her oh we got lots of big fans in the office okay so is it 800 net Yes. Okay, times 52. So $41,600 a year to be the manager? Did you say $41,000? Is it $800 a week, you said? Yeah. What did you put in? Times 52, because there's 52 weeks a year. $41,600. Net. Net. That's net. Yeah. I thought it was something like 50. Is that before taxes? No, it's after. I thought it was like 800 800 a week. You know how much hits? I thought so. Wait, do you not actually know what hits your account? Yeah, that was like 850 or 800. You thought? Yeah. But you actually don't know? Is it hourly? No, it's salary. Okay, then this should be pretty consistent. The payroll that came in last month should be the number, right? Should be. It was 4,973. Yeah. And that brings us to the sponsor of today's video, FreeCash. FreeCash is a platform where you can make real money on the side by testing apps and games. It's super simple. You complete small tasks and FreeCash pays you directly on the platform. Let me show you how it works. Here's the idea. Game and app developers are always looking for new users, so they partner with FreeCash. FreeCash then rewards you for helping those developers grow their apps. It is a win-win situation. Developers get more users, FreeCash grows as a platform, and you earn real cash on the side. For example, with the game Goblins Wood, you can earn over $500 by completing all available tasks. Personally, I've made over $100 just by completing offers in Matchmasters, and that only took a few minutes. And my free cash balance is already over $100. If you check out the leaderboard, you'll see the top earners. 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Yeah, that's $60,000 a year. okay okay what is wrong with you how do you not know i i look at it transition to the the brain to dumb blonde well that does happen yeah there's a whole subculture online about that no what that trans becomes stupid after getting rid of penis yeah i don't know about like testosterone levels or something i don't know about getting rid of the penis well i don't know after what Is this real? People claim that all the hormones changes your biology and your chemistry and stuff like that. Well, yeah. I mean, you're doing something unnatural. Right. But it doesn't change that much besides physical features. But you just said hormones and stuff. I think getting rid of your balls doesn't change much hormonal. Well, you stop producing as much testosterone. Well, that's... Yeah. And aren't you doing estrogen? Yeah. Are these not hormonal changes? Yeah, but it's not changing the biochemical makeup of your DNA, which is what people say. They call it trans women biological women, which is not true. Correct. This is your excuse for not knowing how much you make? No. No, that's just genuine. I was shocked. I lost like $800 a week. Oh, my goodness. Colton said you went on a full rant of a laundry list of reasons you don't even like the trans community. What are you? Yes. You're such a confusing beast, aren't you? Yes. Beast. Huh? Beast, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. What is wrong with you? Why did you go fully down this rabbit hole and you hate everyone around you that's in your community? I don't know if I hate them. I just don't agree with it. What? Don't agree with what? I don't agree with what the trans community is putting out there. And I asked what? Oh my goodness, you have gone. I don't know how this happened. What is wrong with you? You are not smart. Please, what? I'm just saying. What? I believe that it's okay that trans women are biological men, and it's okay to say that. I think everyone agrees with that. No, they don't. Biological? They don't, no. Okay, well, that's okay. I know. People can do whatever they want. It doesn't change biology. I know. I don't care. I know, exactly. Okay. And then we have people saying that these young kids know that they're trans at a young age. Yeah, but that's like 1% of the population that's actually even acting on that shit. But it gets blown out of proportion. It certainly does. Welcome to winning elections. But, I mean, okay, so that's your whole freak out? Well, no, I just have values on why I don't believe that's a thing. Do you watch Fox News? No, I don't. Who do you watch? I don't really watch news. Where are you getting things from? lived experience no come on you have opinions and some usually it's hard to get into an opinion without at least knowing it exists somewhere and you come on i mean i have friends on both sides okay i have friends that are very so let's out and i have friends that are more right-wing okay but the way you talk about it lived out and right-wing clearly makes you look less upon the left, meaning you are right wing, regardless of what you say. I mean, I consider myself more libertarian. It's fine if you are. I consider myself more libertarian. Okay, libertarian, so you can do whatever you want. Yeah. Including your children. Well, I guess. Obviously, you can do whatever you want. People are adults. I don't know about kids. Including your children. Yeah. If we're going full libertarian. Before I worked as a manager, though, I was an elementary teacher. Well, in Minneapolis. Actually, I wasn't in Minneapolis at that time. I was going to say, they wouldn't care, but I could just see that being hyper-controversial. Where were you? I was in a red state, Fargo, North Dakota. And what did they think of that? They never problem with it. Is it because you're halfway convincing? Thank you. Halfway. I don't know. I'll take half. She's getting there. She's spending more. They never problem with it because I just did my job. Okay. Okay. Well, you know, maybe things are blown over the top online. Who would have thought? Well, they are. That's what I'm saying. Usually when people see trans or hear about trans, they have some kind of trans women are women and these minors should be a woman. Are you a woman? No. I'm a trans woman. So it's like a new breed. Sure. That works. Wow, man. I don't love the idea of saying trans women are men, but it's like biologically. Biological, but gender. Don't they separate gender and biological? All the time. I identify. Look at what you've done. You've done something. I know. You're not identifying? I know. Well, yeah, I guess, but I don't go around saying I identify as a woman. Very conflicting, just on your existence. I know. Okay, but you were forced to leave your job as a teacher, so obviously they had some kind of issues. What? So on my social media, I post some more spicy content. Spicy, but they're all fake anyway. So what is there even spicy about it? Things that don't exist, your boobs aren't real. The parents. Your vagina's not real. The parents did. I guess if you post a boathole, those are pretty gender neutral. Which I can't do. Oh, then what's the point? The parents would find my stuff. What do they not like? I mean, look at you. Your tits out right now. And I'm not even looking. You know why? Because they're fake. Why even look at that point? Fair. Yeah. But parents would find my stuff. Well, are you posting X-rated stuff? No. How risque? Just like... Okay, show us. Lingerie. Show us. Lingerie photos. Let's see. Let's see if this was a justified firing. I didn't get fired from. I left it. Yeah. Forced to leave your job is kind of what I got. This is your risque? Yep. I mean, this is the kind of content that people post when they're trying to sell OF. True. So it kind of makes sense, right? I don't think I would want my teacher doing that. But how are they finding me? Well, they looked you up. Yeah. Because you're the teacher. Right, but it's not the same name. One person found it, and then they shared it within. I know, but that's my private business. That has nothing to do with me working with kids during the day. Yeah, I mean, this kind of makes sense, right? I would understand why they would kind of want you out of there, right? Especially in a more conservative state. No. No, I disagree. When was the last time you were, like, appearance of a guy? Can I see it? You didn't see it? Of a guy? You being a guy? Yeah. No, show me. You just went through the pictures. I wasn't looking intently. I was just, like, you know, seeing that, like, I think it was relatively fair. oh my goodness what the that is crazy make sure we put that on screen right now what the yeah that is crazy are you doing anything to your voice or is that natural um well i mean this is how i talk now yeah but are you doing something intentional or is that just how it is this is how i this is how i talk now so as like i said i was an educator a music educator i should say really what were you teaching music what where what what kind of music oh elementary elementary music educator okay i know sorry but i was also a voice so not a real job oh there's a real one i was also a voice teacher so i understand how the vocal mechanism works so i was able to train my voice to sound like this so how you doing 5 000 hours a month by the way thank you that's a compliment what about my voice well yeah i mean you're imitating like a biological woman yeah so I thought, you know, maybe you were doing something. No surgery, though. No surgery on that. That's a surgery you can do? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Vocal feminization. VFS, they call it. Highly against that. It's extremely dangerous. Well, then, yeah, probably shouldn't do that. Yeah. Okay, this episode is not about trans. That's what you think. However, it just, okay, rabbit holes. Listen, you thought you made $3,400 a month, but you make $4,900 a month. How the f*** were you so wrong? How can you pay bills? How can you even pay bills? If you're off by that much. I put everything on my Apple card and then pay it off at the end of the week. The end of the week? Yep. But that's not... No. If you think you make $1,500 less than you make, how are you even surviving? How are you budgeting? How are you existing? How are you doing anything whatsoever? I mean, like I said. Okay, what was your outflow? I have your inflow as $5,000. What was your outflow? Oh, gosh. Um, just this last month? Yes. Well, this is Christmas. Oof. $2,500? What the fuck is wrong with you? It was $9,307. How can you be that wildly off? What are you talking about? What is wrong with you? Um, I don't know. I thought I understood it. See, this is what people say. This is why you're here. This is why I'm here. Sure, but I need to know a little bit about where you're coming from, how your life is now, how your mentality is now, or else we can't fix anything. How the f*** were you that far off? In your own assessment, what do you think? Going back to last month, you're looking. You thought it was $2,000-something. How? How, how, how were you there? Just because I was thinking about Christmas gifts. So you thought it was only $2,000, your entire spending for everything? What's your rent? So rent is altogether $1,650. So how the f*** do you think you only spent $2,000? You think everything else in your life was only $400 more? $500, $600 more? Sure, sure. Okay, I got you. Sorry, I wasn't following the question. Was not following. Broken, okay. So I spent $9,000 last month. Oh, my God. Yes, I agree. That's crazy. What's crazier is that you think you only spent $500 more than your rent for all of your expenses combined outside of that, including any kind of fun you did, health care, that you do co-pays, trips, gas, food, electricity, internet, gas for driving. All of the electricity, internet, all of that is bundled in with my... Okay, but the fact is you thought you only spent $400 more than your rent. What the f*** are you talking about? What does it look like right now, the way you do your finances, please? Well, since I started watching your show, I downloaded the DollarWise budgeting app. Yes, it's a good start. So tell me, what are you doing? What does things look like? You're clearly not using it if you thought you only spent $2,500 last month. No, I haven't. What the f*** are you talking about? You're right. Like I said, I am just paying everything off my Apple Card at the end. Is that it? That's what your entire life looks like. That's how you can define your entire financial life. I pay off my Apple Card. That's it. nothing else exists you can't tell me a single thing outside of that what is wrong with you how can you not you know you on a podcast right yeah how can you tell me what the is going on there has to be more in your life other than you pay on a credit card And that uh I got tits Congratulations Can only take you so far in life But I like them. Close. Not perfect. Almost there. good well done you don't like them i don't care one they're fake and two and huh and i just i wouldn't do it because it's hard when it doesn't get naturally wet and also does it look like my boobs doesn't tell them well it's like yeah but if i'm interested in the boobs another way it means we're going in other directions so it's like do i want to go to the full package? Probably not. So, I mean, is this, you know, I'm just... Do you know? Huh? Do you even know? Does your vagina get naturally wet? Yes, it does. No. How? Because I did a surgery that, a different kind of, like, procedure. It's called... Oh, what? Does it look like a vagina? I think so, from my experience. With all the rows and beef and folds and everything? Has everyone said it feels the same? I haven't had any complaints. okay yeah but just do they say it feels the same i guess yeah i mean i don't wow this is crazy no that's impressive congratulations congratulations okay i'm trying to think then then then you're right of what it was called my logic was flawed i only don't like them because they're fake fair but there's different like procedures that you can get like how you can get it like you can get it with no depth whatsoever and more like aesthetic from the outside instead of no depth of that okay okay well stop taking me down the trans rabbit hole you are more than that that cannot be the most the only interesting thing in your life no i appreciate you saying that exactly yeah you are not able to give me anything beyond that the moment something trans related comes up you're able to talk like crazy but i don't ask anything about your finances just say i pay off my apple card give me something i need to know what your life looks like dude it's because Chick. You can say whatever. Dude is gender neutral in my life. Yeah, I know. So is bro. It's fine. Especially at this point. Especially at this point. Uh-huh. Go on. I was really thrown off by the finances thing. I thought I made more than that. What? That you made more? No, you told me you made less. Well, no. You do make more than you said. Yeah, I was just going by. Do you not know that yet? I was just going by. I have clarified that you do make about $1,500 more than you thought. Are you, have you not caught up to that yet? I'm caught up, yeah. Are you sure? Oh, how do I get through this? Okay. So why'd you go to Minneapolis? That's where I was born. Okay. So born and raised in Minneapolis, moved up to Fargo for college. Okay, why don't you just open like a trans daycare or something? A trans daycare? You'll make an infinite amount of money and no one in Minnesota will look into you. Well, now in Minnesota, yeah, that's fair. Were you not able to follow along on that either? No, I was. Oh, my goodness. You know that's happening right now. I said it's fair. Yeah, 30 seconds later. I'm also white. Not Somalian. But trans, it counts. Yeah. Yeah, dude, you're like a superior class. But Somalian's a hot thing right now. I don't know about superior. In Minnesota? Yeah, it's fair. It's blue, but. It's not just, okay. Oh, my gosh, I swear. You are, you are. How do people have conversations with you? That's a good question. I'm very controversial on a lot of things I don't think so because you're not able to speak you don't think so? no you are not conversational you're impossible to have a conversation with besides the budgeting thing I've been answering your questions this is financial audit I need a little bit on the money I know you gotta give me some information so I can go into these numbers with any kind of knowledge right but this is what I'm doing like pay what i said about the apple card put everything on apple card and pay it off like i saw i saw part of your thing was like to make an excel spreadsheet and like put what you would pay for each of those things down okay listen again i'm i'm glad you want to talk about trans i don't really give a you've piqued my interest a couple times on the vagina thing especially because that's just like one we love vaginas here two i think a lot of people are curious didn't you say a lot of people are at your one of your last shows that you were thinking that you were bi at one point yeah a long time ago how how did that what what sparked that experience with young okay i'm asking the questions though because you're on my podcast Sure. I was just curious when I heard that. I was like, oh, okay. Musician. Oh, for f***s sake. Okay. So, if a trans part is a big part of your life, let me bring that to finances. Obviously, we're trying to budget in some future operations. What are some things you're trying to do? This is a question I tried to ask earlier that you could not answer. Let's see if you can get to it this time. What is it going to cost? What are some things you're trying to do in the near future that we need to budget towards? So I, as a transsexual, want more surgeries. We know that. That's always a lot. I'm trying to ask you what they are. I just established that for you. I want to get a second round of facial feminization surgery. Okay. So what are you going to do? I want to go to Turkey and get my face cut up again. Yeah, but what are you trying to do? To Turkey? So you have to fly to Turkey. Well, Turkey's... What are they going to do? Like, what's going to happen? Well, I want to get... Well, you noticed the angular... Yeah, you have a man jaw. Yeah, exactly. I want to get rid of more of that. Even though I already... Like, you saw it before. Man jaws are hard to get rid of. I know. They're very manly. The nigger chin! And then I also want to get more of a Barbie nose. Turn to your side. To my side. Yes, turn to your side. Let me look at your nose. You have a good nose. What the fuck is wrong with you? Not good enough. Oh, my goodness. Okay, so... Also, I want to get a VVL. in Turkey. Alright, give us a twirl. Give you a twirl? Yeah, give us a twirl. I'm objectifying you right now. Yeah, I see that. Well, I came on this show, I guess, for that. Yeah, you needed one. Okay, sit down. Yes, okay, I got it. That was embarrassing at all. Okay, so what is this BVL going to cost? The obviously crucial one here because your ass is the sad excuse yeah i know thank you um it's gonna cost like 23 25 25 what thousand oh the nose one fat you have a good nose the jaw one because you look like a man 13 oh so what does that get us to about 40 yeah around there 40 000 for your income that's crazy how are you paying for that because no insurance right that's out of pocket that's out of pocket but can you pay for that i mean i haven't paid for it yet but no i want to no shit i'm asking how are you paying my the answer to how are you doing this isn't i haven't done it yet are you what is wrong with you you can you've never been on a podcast i have what what because no one who comes on the show has ever been on a podcast you're telling me you've Been on a podcast and somehow you are like this? Yeah. I mean, I guess. What podcast have you been on? I've been on podcasts with some friends. Uh-huh. There it is. A lot in the trans community. Uh-huh. Okay. So very good. They're my friends. How do... Okay. Well, I said friends, and then you're like, uh-huh, and I'm like, yeah. No, that explains why you haven't actually done any real podcasts. Oh, right. Not something as popular as this, no. You got there. You figured it out. Yeah. I had to explain, but you did it all by yourself. Okay, so. I just, I really just didn't want to, I wanted to come on here because I didn't want you to put me in the same category as all these other trans people that come on here. I don't put people in categories. I'm putting you in the category because you're literally. I haven't put anyone in any category. Usually it's financial. What category am I putting them in? So this is financial what? Huh? So this is financial not f*** up. What category have I put them in? Like trans people? You just said I put them on. You just said I put them all in a category. And you don't want me to put you in the same category. What category have I put them in? Oh, okay. I got you. We got there. We got there. You taught at a school. I know. I taught children. Music, though. What category? Of Lintard and Trance. I don't believe that I've done that, but okay. This is from what I've seen. I'm not putting you in LibTard, and I'm putting you in... Thank you. I've already established that. Thank you. No, I know. I can see that. I can see that. Yeah. Buddy. Back to Turkey. And then flights. And hotel. Yes. And food. Yes, it's expensive. So how did you plan on paying for this, when the only thing you could tell me about your financial life is, I put money on my Apple card and I pay it off. So how do you plan on paying for it? Please, please, please, please. Hopefully budgeting when I figure this out. So no plan. So no plan. No. How do you plan on figuring this out then? Because you said planning on budgeting after you figure this out. How do you plan on figuring this out? Taking the extra money that I don't use from when I get paid and then making. Reminder, $9,000 went out, $5,000 came in. So correct that. So how do you plan on doing that? 9,000 usually doesn't come out though What did you just say? 9,000 doesn't usually come out every month How do you know that? You thought you made $1,500 less than you do You thought you spent $500 more than your rent How can you say 9,000 doesn't usually go out? How can you possibly say that? How can you be a reliable narrator for that in any way whatsoever please inform me I can see her coming from however I I don't I've never I don't think I've seen that like as a summary in my bank statement like that never really threw me off okay and you get some extra money being a professional singer as well right so that'll help yeah Tell me about that. I mean, people hire me for funerals, weddings. Uh-huh. Yeah. Tell me about that. And how much I make? Yes. For each one? Because I just said you make money doing that, and then I said tell me about that, and then you didn't tell me about that. Because you are certified, actually. I believe we uploaded, before we uploaded you, financial audits most- Guess. Unfortunately, they have already been superseded. Now I'm- It's rubbing off. It's rubbing off. At least it's not the trans thing. That's not rubbing off, is it? No, I've never had a desire to be a woman. Thank God. Good for you. That must be nice. It is, I think, I guess. It would be nice to be comfortable on your own skin. Okay, well, why'd you freak out and go all woman? My dysphoria? Yeah. Having gender dysphoria from a young age? Uh-huh. How do I? Oh, my God. Because we're getting a lot of people, surprisingly, even on LibTalk, that are saying, like, why are all my trans friends detransitioning? Yes, because they transitioned for the wrong reasons. What reason was that? Exactly. What reason is it? Mine, I can speak to because I had gender dysphoria from childhood. And what was their reason? Who detransitioned? Well, because they transitioned because their friends did. And it was the social thing because of trans TikTok and trans trenders. Okay. And that's why I wanted to be different. How was she making this side gig of singing? No, that's not that consistent, but it's like $300 to $500. Sing me a song. What song? I like Sabrina Carpenter. Okay. So just... Please, please, please don't prove I'm right. Can I even do that? Like copyright? I don't know. Keep going. That's the only one I can think of at the moment. There's more to that song. I know. Sing something else you know. I'll be one thing, my ego's another. I'm begging you, don't miss me, mother. And what do you make from that? They're $300 and $500, depending on how many songs. For what kind of events? Funerals? That happens at a funeral? Funerals? No, not Sabrina Carpenter at funerals. No. It's more like... Ave Maria? Yes. Oh, you want me to sing Ave Maria? Oh, my gosh. Oh. Ave Maria. Grazie plena Maria, grazie plena Maria, grazie plena What's with the weird pauses? Probably not getting the right breath control. I'm nervous. It's like when your tone breaks up, you all of a sudden... Yeah. Yeah. People pay for that. Well, it's... Okay. Pause and all. Usually I'm better warmed up than... I wasn't expecting to sing. Okay. I really wasn't. we can't put any projected income on that i wouldn't know it's more of a side thing it's not consistent so men straight men yeah yes i have to ask the curious questions in between here and there yes keep my curiosity going yeah how often does a straight man uniquely you uh how often like someone who's not coming back for seconds it's usually i don't continue it so how often does a unique person like a unique person i don't like someone that you haven't slept with how frequently do you a straight guy straight not bi not gay no i prefer straight men i know you do not a lot not like frequently not like two to three a month so one to two sure okay good good for them. And they do it. No questions. No flaws. No. They're not even, like, curious. Not usually. Do they know? Yes. Oh, yes. And they want that. Consent. Yeah. Yes. Because I'm not about... Oh. Alright. He would. Congratulations. We'll get you guys a room. Oh, my God. Afterwards. I'm not about not disclosing because I'm not about... And would you give him a would? Absolutely. That's why I have this. Cherry slushy. Because he recommended that one. It is very good. It is good. Okay, good. We got that taken care of. Well done. Let me know how it is. I'm genuinely curious. Oh, God. none of us have experienced that before so you're a pioneer okay very good what do you think your financial score is 0 to 10 0 being the worst 10 being the best 0 alright if you want your financial score take the assessment at calebhammer.com it is free and it just takes a few minutes to see where you stand in the world of money where you need to do better or where you're doing really well already what you need to do to improve Calebhammer.com and if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on this show one don't transition to download the DollarWise budgeting app take the free trial to see if you like it new features being added every single month at the time of this being uploaded by the way our whole new refresh all bunch of new features should be added and most people take the annual version once the free trial ends because it saves a lot of money like 50% and you get my budget friendly cookbook signed by me mailed directly to you check that out all those links are in the description below let's jump into these numbers oh my goodness you have an only so we need to add that income too no no no no not it's not significant it's peanuts oh like seven dollars fourteen dollars oh it's not significant okay but can i add the singing do you get a gig a month on average no i just just do manager income. Okay. I'll do just manager income. Well, look what's on top. The infamous apple cart. The only thing you know about your life. Outside of you being trans. Because that's what you've wrapped your entire world around for the entirety of your life. No, don't say that. Well, you're literally able to talk about nothing outside of it. No, that's just... About you. Well, not... Gotcha, bitch! Not really. Yes. Talk about how I'm a singer and was a teacher. Oh, f***. I mean, Colton told me you're also trying to budget in becoming, buying a shithin' equipment to become a Twitch streamer. I did do Twitch. You already did? Yeah. But he says, but also you have to buy a new computer. So we have to budget in $40,000 for this trip, and then you're going to get all this equipment to do Twitch? Yeah. That's kind of f***ing stupid, I'll be honest. but what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. sign up for time get that 350 right now in your checking account starbucks is bull and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest so now you need to do that with your energy drink as well make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving and honestly it literally tastes better and we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our hammer elite show fat and fatter the number one ranked energy drink is literally the cherry flavor is insane listen you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10 off your order at gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below type in code caleb how much is that gonna cost what are you getting bet i i got about i don't know about 225 $3,000 for that we're going to need. That's more realistic than the whole surgery thing on the horizon. Yeah, but I don't understand. If you're spending more money than you make, well, so is the surgery happening or not? Because, listen, I'll budget for whatever people want to do. When people have bad reasons for leaving the country, I still will make a plan for them to do it. If you're budging to get a chin and a butt or no chin and a butt, I will do it. But is it happening or not? You tell me. Yeah, it's going to happen. Okay, so we're doing that, but this doesn't make sense if all of a sudden we have to upgrade our gaming equipment. We have to do this. It doesn't get there. But I'm thinking in terms of the fact that it's a smaller amount, therefore that's going to come before the surgery. But every amount saved to get to the surgery gets immediately drained every time we hit these little goals along the way. So you don't ever get to the big goal. So that doesn't make sense. What's more important, twitch or butt? Well, that's a good question. More important or... Because then if I did Twitch I could make more money You just Well yeah okay maybe You ain no Sinna my new crush I love Sinna Can I just say She like my goodness I obsessed Who? Like, who? And Pokimane, also my wife. Oh, my goodness. Those two, listen, I just, both of them, I'm proposing to both of you right now. Okay. Interesting. But you ain't them, girl. I know. I haven't started. You said you did in the past. I know, but like... I mean, Colton told me you literally sleep in your living room so that you can make your bedroom your Twitch room. Yes. So clearly you're prioritizing that. I am. I don't think you're going to make money, though. I mean, Brandon and Tyler do pretty well because they have the connection to this show on their Twitches. They still don't make like money, like livable money, money that will go towards goals. It's like extra help. Brandon does Twitch. Yes. And he actually has a platform unlike you. That's true. That's true. And he still does just halfway decent. It's more like passion. I assume. Yeah. Like 500 bucks a month. What is it getting? Yeah, at least you can quantify it. But he's grinding on it like most every day. And you just see, and then this makes no sense because you can't start your 401k, so you have to spend on your hobbies. And then you just paid $8,000 for laser hair removal. So how do we ever get to these goals if you're just blowing thousands on bullshit along the way? This doesn't make sense. It's not bullshit. How did you pay for $8,000? It's not bullshit. depending if you're trying to get to the big goal anything that is a want that takes us away from that big goal is bullshit in my head you had to do the 8 000 for laser hair yeah why shave you no no no laser hair is great trust me oh i funded it for my girlfriend don't get me wrong right so like but you're trying to get to the butt you're trying to get to the notion but electrolysis okay so before i could have my bottom surgery i had to get electrolysis so i had to get all the hair moved. How'd you even buy that? How'd you afford that? $8,000? It makes no sense. Well, that was part of... The 401k? Yeah. 401k, so our retirement's gone for the sake of not having hair? Yeah, so I can have that bottom surgery. The things we do... Was it big? Oh, God. I don't know. I don't think so, no. Oh, okay, then it's fine. wasn't benefiting the world okay wasn't contributing much what you're offended by the thing you know i just never thought of it in that way so it's just kind of like what did you got to do some math in the end everything's quantifiable yeah but i never thought of it as you had a small dick get over it well sure i guess i don't know i just never thought of it that way never measured it no no no no god no you look at it and went you this yes exactly really makes you uncomfortable yes you never jacked off no whoa mark just freaked out he's the he is the he he jacks off like a professional oh my god yeah that's yeah i've never thought of it in the way okay so i can see that feeling like an emergency to pull your 401k out i can like i can see why it feels that way see this was more of emergency than getting a bigger bed. I can understand. You looked at your dick and you vomited. You know, I can't relate, but I look at mine and I come. That's okay. I'm easy. All right. Did not know that about you. After all these episodes, I should have known these things. Oh, now you know. Now you know. Now everyone knows. I just look at it. Oh, just did it. I'm an easy one. All right. Okay. Apple card. So this is usually where I ask, what's going on here? But the answer is going to be, I put money on it, and I pay it off. Is there anything else? That is still... Okay. That's it. I charge it, and I pay it off at the end of the week. You pay it off every single time, so it never accrues interest. Yes, because the interest is pretty high. Oh, my goodness. The spending on here is insane. Oh, my absolute... goodness what are you doing what are you doing that's a lie you had a thousand hours in interest charged we are a liar you don't know what you're doing there's a thousand hours in interest charged almost rounded up what the are you talking about pay it off every week no you do not no you absolutely do not so i am marking this as a debt you moron you couldn't tell me how much money you make you're going to tell me how much money you spend now you're going to tell me that you pay this off every week while you've accrued a thousand hours in interest for 2025 no you this makes no sense you have no idea what you're doing you're confused on your gender you're confused on your numbers you're confused on everything and i love that for you except for numbers part you love that for me oh thank you the gender part good to be confused it's okay yeah or dysphoric or whatever it is right yeah well i mean yes gender dysphoria you had someone on here that had yellow hair um that said dysmorphia great real tits were really great because they wanted bigger ones no one of them lifted because those things had gravity okay interesting okay you could only dream it's true so $25 minimum fee payment with a balance of $2,159.32 13 years to pay off if we make minimum fee payments only and I know you put more than that but then you spend more and then interest accrues I think you just don't put enough towards it to actually pay it off like the way you think you do and then interest accrues like crazy and I know you spend money like crazy I'm being told right now you bought four new outfits for this show I did For this filming. I did. We don't do multiple outfits. You wear one. I know. You have never seen anyone change in the show's history. I know. And it was just because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. And then, you know what the best part is? And this is sarcasm. I'm not wearing any of the outfits that I bought. You're right. Why? Why? Why? Because it's just what I thought I was going to like when I put it on, and I didn't. See, you spent on Control B. You got a 100-inch TV for your living room. Yeah. You're right. What is wrong with you? You go absolutely crazy. You buy for your Instagram, for the holidays, for everything. And then this is on this credit card that is accruing and it's just like crazy. You are pages of spending. You're uncontrollable. Your financial life is a defined, I spend on my Apple card and pay off. No, you don't, you dumb broad. I can say that. See, I'm being good. You're being good. I'm being a good guy. You could say worse things too. She's a broad. She's a... She's a... What are other women's names? Keep going. Slut, ho, or ho. There you go. We got any other bangers for women? You're missing the obvious one. For women? No. Well, I'm doing the women thing because I'm being appropriate to your identification. There's another one? Yeah. What is it? I don't know. I thought I was an expert in slurs. I say them in my sleep. What is the good slur I'm missing? The one that you started off saying that you weren't going to say. Oh, I'm not going to say the F word. I'm not rude like that. Okay. Usually. That's fine. Usually. Because I don't say it to real ones. I just say it to my friends when they're acting like. We did it. We got there. I'm so proud of you. But I'm. Great. Fantastic. Okay. I'm so glad we got there. But I would never call you that. Thank you. I would never call Tyler boy. I would never. I would never. I would never. I would never call Colton gay. No, I don't. You are, but I don't. It's still saying. I know. It's terrible. Starbucks. Starbucks. So you already work at a store. Just make your coffee at home. Make your coffee. That one right there, the energy drink. You're not buying energy drinks anymore. If you buy energy drinks, you're retarded. You, well, we already know you are, but that's okay. Yeah. Gamer Subs, you are getting Gamer Subs. Those are the free samples. You can get the free samples right now. Use code Caleb at Gamer Subs. That's GG. Links in the description below. But also, it's 40 cents a serving. You're making it at home. You're making coffee at home. Why are you buying at Starbucks? It's so stupid. Starbucks, Starbucks, Southwest, Culver's, Chipotle, Pop Mart. Pop Mart for what? Oh, you're a little boo-booing. You're boo-booing. Why are you? you're past the trend. LaBubu's done. I know. This is not new. LaBubu's done. Transitioning's done. You're past the trend. That was all COVID, girl. I know. You're done. How much Pop Mart's on there? Well, there's one. And then Papa Murphy's. And oh, Pop Mart, Pop Mart, Pop Mart. What are you doing? What is wrong with you? It is not funny. It is not cute. You're up your life. What is wrong with you? You don't know how to manage your finances. You think you're not paying interest on here, but you are. and then you're spending on la booboos every second of your life trans la boobs trans la boobs why you're throwing everything away for popmar what the is wrong with you i i was originally given a bunch of la booboos because i made fun of it with the people that i worked with they gave it to me like as a gift and i was like oh no i can't make fun of it and then i got them stolen so i had to rebuy them a gift you didn't have to rebuy a gift This is gone. The gift's gone. I know. I didn't, and I wanted to have that still. Well, fuck. Don't you want to? First of all, you already took from your retirement. We need to get your retirement caught up. Because even if you're trans, you still got to retire. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Like, you don't get to not retire anymore. Right. I mean, I don't know. Minnesota might give you an endless, like, amount of money for the rest of your life because you're trans. Who knows? Maybe that'll happen at retirement. But let's rely on that not happening. You need to retire. You pulled out a retirement. You think you're going to pop my head for five seconds to your life? Would you? You. What's wrong with you? Starbucks. Again. Going in, getting some bullshit. Amazon. No taquitos. Whole other page. No taquitos. You're in Minnesota. They don't have taquitos? Starbucks. I don't know. I don't care. Okay. I was like, what? Nail spa. Let me see. Dude. That's rough. Is it? Oh my God. No. That's bad times. Why? Because those are like gluons. They're not. They're real. Oh, no. You got scammed. Oh, my gosh. I can't tell my name, lady. That's because you got the wrong minorities. See, we got the Asians here. And they do it great. You went to the Somalians. Netflix. Amazon. Amazon. Kickoff, Inc. Thank you to you. Huh? Thanks to you. Oh, it's kickoff. Okay. Use your code and everything. Well, that's good. Apple bill. I mean, it works. It does. Uber Southside News. What is that? You pay for it. You better know what it is. Yeah, I don't know what that is. Southside News. You dumb f***ing broad. What is it? I don't know. Oh, my goodness. What is wrong with you? You literally probably have a subscription to it. Every single month for $9. Is it from New York? I don't know. What the fuck would I know? What is wrong with you? How would I know that? I don't know. Uber. Yeah, it sounds like New York. Shelburne Sonata. Oh, you went to New York? New York, yes. Why'd you go to New York? You're trying to go to Afghanistan or something. Turkey. One of those, yeah. I have to go to New York for a post-op follow-up doctor's appointment. To observe? Yes. Okay. it's part of the process there's a follow up post dude you're telling me Minneapolis doesn't do trans surgeries out of all cities it's Minneapolis they do but not where I went I went to New York to get the best of the best shout out to NYU how much does that cost how much does that cost me oh god But then you had to travel and food. Look what you're doing while you're there. Yeah. Yeah. I have no idea. 15. Amazon, Papa Murphy's, VidIQ, you pay for VidIQ? You pay for VidIQ? Who the f*** pays for VidIQ? There's a guy that I was seeing that was helping me edit my videos when I was doing YouTube. You were seeing him for his skills? No, no, no. That was just on the side. Let me see what this man looks like. I need to see what someone looks like that sticks it in. I don't have it. You don't know who he is? I blocked him. I can pull him up. But I don't remember, like... You don't know his name? You do not know the name of your ex. I do. Good, give it to me. But I don't know his, like, Instagram. Dude, it should just be his name, no? No, it's not, no. No, no, no. His name is not his name? Not on Instagram? Search his name, see if it exists. Search it! I know you can type even with glue-ons. Oh my gosh, that's so... I'm so offended by that. You should be offended that you paid so much for it. Yeah, I mean, it is expensive. So you'd pick Brandon over me? Yeah, sorry. Damn, I'm getting cooked. I can't buy that. I'm getting cooked. I mean, you are attractive. No, that's free. Oh, God, thank you for having the beard back. When you shaved that. It was an accident. It was a terrible accident. It was terrible. We're delayed by a month. It was an accident. I trimmed wrong, and then at that point, I had to commit. I mean, you didn't have to. No, I had to. Was it that bad? Yes! Worse than being a babyface. Well, the babyface only exists for a couple days. Goes away quick with stubble. Okay, I wouldn't know. more pop mart apple bill apple bill pop mart dollar tree not as good as dollar wise you spend money there oh my god what i can't i can't remember what that was for i don't trust you to remember anything that's why i'm no longer asking questions okay amazon apple bill total wine and more is that why you're all no i promise best buy best buy okay dare i ask for thanksgiving uh best buy was for thanksgiving Where you bought $2,000? Wine. Okay, what about the $2,000 for Best Wine? That was the TV. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. You can't afford that. Apple Bill, pull up your phone. There is no one's photos folder. I'm going to further avoid than yours. To the Apple card? I'm going to snoop around on your phone. Oh, okay. Just not your photos. Sorry, sorry. Freak. You don't mean that in the trans way. Don't cancel me. Eh. I've had much worse no I mean I don't care what people do I really don't okay here it is I've never seen more subscriptions on someone's phone than this really really airbrush catfishing everyone for $35 a month what is wrong with you a month okay you got annual but still catfishing everyone social media social media yeah catfish apple tv it is one of the better ones you still can't probably afford it and then you got face app more catfishing you have to double catfish what's wrong with you that's one of the reasons i'm hated by the trans i use gmail every second of my life i don't pay for it do i not on my phone at least you pay is that annual too you got grok iCloud Plus. I didn't mean to. Notably? Yep. For work. You pay for X and Paramount Plus out of all. Come on. Paramount Plus sucks. Why? And you do have Hammerleet, the best membership on YouTube, number one for a reason, because we got three premium, incredible high-quality shows posted every single day. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, including the post show for this episode. You like it, right? Love it. It's so good. This is why I'm so gagging. to hear. It is the absolute best. Yes, you're gagged, but I promise you will not be getting gagged. We'll hear it with anything. I assume he doesn't want to. I think he gave a thumbs up for niceties. And then he got premium. Okay. Oh my goodness, look at you. You got 15 snaps to reply. How many people are you sliding in? Did you get people every second of your life? Look at this. What are you doing? I'm popular. Okay, it's not there. What were you looking up? There? Well, no, that's not downloaded either. What were you looking up? Wait, where are you meeting people? Bumble. No! Yeah. No! You don't have anything downloaded, not even Grindr. Where are you meeting people? In person. Where? At protests? Oh, God, no. I thought you knew me better by now. Where? I'm not going to protests and Instagram ah now that she said it I know oh yeah this fatty is trying to get in you Adrian you're not going to land that nut sorry guy okay but in person where just like out at bars and stuff oh so they have to get drunk first no no no I said consent first I hope so I know Minnesota and Wisconsin are drinking states. Okay, so you got in the cart, you have some eye wearing. Is that what that was? I was wondering what you were doing. Yes, it's your sleep mask. And then ink cartridges, a very expensive desk, a multiple desk. You're considering a lot. A 49-inch, like triple wide monitor. It's kind of crazy. It is, yeah. Yeah, you're not buying this shit. Unless that's what you're prioritizing, but we just can't do the rest. okay you just ordered some ink some pens some something's being delivered they can't even figure that out utensil trays gardening knee pads i'm sure you get on your knees a lot sharpie retractable permanent markers and other computer you just got a computer desk literally a couple weeks ago yeah that's for the living room why are you looking for another why do you need a desk for your living room and bedroom because one's for the gaming i hate you I hate that up. No one's not. I hate you. Laptop sleeve cover. You get more pens than anyone I've ever... It's from work. At the coffee shop? Mm-hmm. You just got a pop-up from Only... What? It's a posting reminder. Oh, yeah. You haven't posted since... It says 22 days. Yeah. 22 days. But I'm not active on it. Okay, and then canceled. than HR Pharma, one-shot sterile lubrication, something for what? What is that? That's what you have to do? You have to inject that so that you cream? Not inject it. You put it on the dilator and then it's lured. So you don't get wet. No, you do. But you have to put something in there to get wet. Yeah, because it's a surgical equipment. But you don't get wet. Your body, naturally. Yes, it does. What's this for? But you need more. You need more lubrication for sure. It's because it's a medical instrument. So you don't get wet enough? Not for a medical device. Oh. Why are you getting so many of these? Because you got a couple. I have to. I go through it. For what? What is this? So once you get the surgery down there, you have to dilate. Yeah, bottom surgery. You have to dilate how often? Twice a day. For why? Forever? Yeah. No, not forever. No, no. For the first year. For the first year. For what? To keep the surgery from closing. It'll close? For the first year? It'll close? Your vagina will close? The body treats it like an open wound for the first year. You have a clit? Yeah. And that was? The tip. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. That's crazy. Yeah. Your tip is now your clit. Yeah. Definitely not as much sensation as a clip. Probably. I mean, not even close. I can't speak to that. Well, just nerve endings. It's not even close. Right. Okay. So who here is trying to slide in your DMs? Ryan, is he? No. Allie? No, these are all just friends from work. If you want to land a high paying job, but don't have experience or a degree, then you need to learn about course careers. It is the easiest way to land the high paying career that you've been dreaming of. I've done financial audits for hundreds of people. And what I've learned is that the single biggest factor someone can take to improve their life is getting a higher paying job. And that is why I've been such a huge promoter and even an investor in course careers. The way it works is you simply go through an affordable online course to start a new high paying career path. 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Click below to get started. well this is a lot of people to be like sending dick pics to that you work with i don't what dw what oh hmm let's see what dw said so fine where are you filming oh my goodness dude i'm telling you listen if you want a hot guy just fuck position he is really cute yeah colton would do so many bottoms wow do so many bottoms okay i understand so are you sure you would be able to hold down a live stream because again you're kind of you're not able to have a conversation i i guess not i thought i could no sure no really have you listened to yourself this conversation it seems that i i've i don't know i feel like i've normally been able to do it okay so what did you finance for nine thousand dollars with a finance charge of additional nine thousand two hundred twenty two dollars oh is that the upstart is it you tell me okay what'd you do upstart oh my god yes why what when how please try oh god that's back um right before covid I believe? During COVID? 2021? No, 24. October 24. Oh, oh. A year and a couple months ago. Gotcha. Yes. That one was to cover the other one that I had during COVID. You said it only cost a couple thousand dollars. This is already nine. Right, but I took out that one to cover what I had left of the other one. Oh, what other one? The one that I had before. Oh, the other upstart loan? Yeah. You took out a $9,000 upstart loan to pay off an upstart loan. Yeah. So you're giving them endless interest forever. Well, yeah. You're paying for their entire company, their entire headquarters, funded by you. Just me. Yes. It was the payoff, LASIK, and the credit card that I had before it. Why did you have to do LASIK? Because I don't want our glasses. You don't want. Exactly. Wants. You don't have to do that. What's more important? Because I can't. Butt cheeks or LASIK? Okay. um lasik was very important what you're telling me that's not a valid question in this conversation that's true um yeah it's true i wanted to not have to wear glasses because i can't do contacts oh that's why you did lasik who would have thought yeah that's why it was important shut the fuck up i don't know what the balance on this now is because that interest is going to be accruing throughout i don't know i assume it hasn't gone anywhere no doubt it probably not plus a prepaid finance charge so that principal became 10 i'll mark it at nine i highly doubt it's that low yet but it's a monthly payment of 304 30404 yeah yeah that's gonna stack and what was your original upstart for in 2021 i'm being told in 2021 uh-huh the original upstart i think was like 12 000 oh my goodness what was it for why'd you take it out that's what it was for the LASIK I was the it's spreading hopefully it doesn't go over there you're wearing old women perfume oh no I'm so offended by that oh my goodness do your parents support your lifestyle yeah that's good why do you owe them $40,000 that's insanity That is crazy. What the? That has to be one of the largest parent loans we've ever had, right? That's crazy. $40,000 for what? They helped pay my first breast augmentation. No, no, no. No. Then you lied at the beginning of the conversation. You literally told me the surgeries out of pocket for you have only cost a few thousand dollars. Yes, for the ones that I currently have right now, but the ones before. You had previous boobs. Yes. So you owe them $40,000 for boobs that don't even exist? Okay, the $40,000 wasn't all for that. That other part is student loans as well. So they paid off my student loans and then that first surgery. Oh my goodness. You went to school for what? Ah, good question. Music. Started. Vocal performance. Like opera. I realized what happened with that. Oh, that Ave Maria was with actual training that happened at a university? Yeah, from a while ago. Oy. Oh, my God. You're totally not giving me. Oh, my God. You should see my Instagram where it's actually like I'm ready to sing. No. Well, okay, whatever. Vocal performance. And then after that, I went to live audio, like working on the stages and stuff. And then behind the scenes, like music industry. Yeah. Yeah. This is before I transitioned. When did you transition? Or 2019. Okay. So you were on stage. audio background yeah okay good so I went all around the music department at school like every single thing you could do and did you graduate? I did graduate oh and what? music education it was music education you went to elementary school yeah high school for a year eh? really? before I transitioned but choir? choir ah the least interesting of all no I loved choir well yeah you're gay yeah but you liked band which is why i thought i was bi i'm not because of band i like vagina uh regular ones you don't know that i don't know i haven't you don't know that i haven't experimented and my girlfriend doesn't have one so i guess i won't sure she just has the normal vagina classic we call them no it's just vagina not a neo vagina vagina classic natural no no monthly injections for that one. Monthly? It's weekly. Oh, for f***ing. You have to buy a toxin month. Okay, okay, so the parents. Now, this was years ago then. When did they do this? When did they... Give you the 40,000 hours, you person, you person. No, no, no, no, no. That wasn't years ago. When was it then? Just recently. When was it? Please. August. Please. is there like a minimum monthly payment there will be yeah what was that agreed on when does it start how much did you agree on it with them that hasn't been decided yet then how can you say it's going to start quickly because i'm i told them i want to pay off my upstart loan first so i can put that money and did they agree yeah but you're not rapidly paying off your upstart in In fact, a lot of your money has to go to the Apple card because you spend an endless amount of money on bullshit on your Apple card. Listen, I'll let you use the Fizz card, debit card that builds credit. Yeah. And whenever you decide to get a better paying job, which, I mean, you actually do, okay? I thought it was pretty good. I just got promoted. Well, yes, except you thought you made $1,500 less. It doesn't matter. I'll get you an accounting certification so you can actually look at your shit through course careers. Thank God. It's good shit. it's good shit it is we'll also put you through our master your money program i know you signed up for one of the classes but you get all the classes with it no i signed up for the whole thing the master your money yeah good well we'll make sure the rest of it is for free and then right after thank you right after that is when i got yeah make sure you're active in the community a lot of people holding each other accountable so make sure you do that listen okay so i i don't even know what to put for a minimum payment there you got kickoff okay we talked about that that's fine though you just do that as the normal thing but that's all your dad just those three debts apple upstart and parents nothing else no what's your car situation i paid it off you paid it off yes why the f*** are you with all this extra shit if you pay off a car well wait if you were good enough to pay off a car why are you with all this other debt oh my goodness part of the upstart was paying off the original upstart that paid off the car okay checking account oh my goodness what is this what is this apple thing what what the provisional credit provisional credit what is this i got hacked what i got hacked so i had to cancel everything oh my goodness it was like it was like a whole oh my goodness they took so much money i'm glad you got that reversed right from the sounds of it yep okay good we got it now but it just doesn't look great on the oh my goodness and then apple purchase apple purchase apple purchase this is crazy it's from them still right yeah yeah all throughout and something with meta pay 1499 dollars meta exactly that was the main that was the thing that tipped me off that i was getting hacked that's crazy okay you went inside got some bullshit culver's again netflix dominoes starbucks starbucks stop with that dude amazon KFC Amazon one month member something Starbucks Corbin's KFC Fortnite yeah you're really living it up COVID aren't you I thought I canceled that a while ago no no haven't done it no Apple Bill Apple Bill Starbucks going in and getting some energy drinks do some bullshit starbucks again assholes apple bill starbucks apple bill meta pay meta pay starbucks starbucks what are you doing on me none of them okay nope well those are a dollar each so i know i know your starbucks were multi-dollars multi-dollars yes apple bill and other meta pay oh there it is that's that one an apple bill then then we know money then we know money and selling out money. Crazy. $5,000 in the savings. That's actually pretty good, but... I mean... Do you have that instead of... Well, okay. Let's see your Fidelity. You pulled from your 401k, so... But not Fidelity, though. What was in your 401k? Because now you only have $1,700 for retirement. Right. Which at $32,000 is horrendous and disgusting and horribly behind in your... Yeah, I know. So how much? Do you have... How much did you pull out? $23,000. Oh, my gosh. But it wasn't through Fidelity. Okay. And then, oh, you just also just blew $2,500 on your checking account. For what? For the TV. Oh, for moving. No, for moving. Oh, the moving on top. Oh, what did you do? Why does it cost so much money for people to move? What is wrong with you? It's so expensive. No. I have never spent even remotely that much money. And I have money. I had to move from. And I move endlessly. Fargo, North Dakota. Oh, Fargo. To Minneapolis. Uh-huh. I moved from Kalamazoo, Michigan to Austin with like a couple hundred bucks. What the f*** is wrong with you? What did you bring? I sold everything and packed up my sedan. Why'd you have to... Yeah, it would have been cheaper to just get some huge shit in Marketplace. Yeah, I didn't sell anything. Yeah, no shit. I lost stuff. What the f***? How could you afford that in your checking account, dude? Worked a lot overtime before that. Did you? Before I got promoted. Okay, because your salary now. Yeah, yeah. That's why I moved. Because I got promoted. That's why you moved? It's not because you were forced out of the... When did you leave that teacher job? Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. 2023? Okay, that wasn't that long ago. How'd you have to think about it that hard? Okay. So why'd you leave? I mean, you said you were forced to leave. Yeah. I left because I didn't want to be monitored. Like, if I wasn't able to do my job as a teacher and, like, have that be enough... But maybe it would have blown over, the controversy. No, because I was literally called down to the principal's office. They told you to stop. Yeah. Then stop posting. You're a teacher. During the day. Yes, but stop posting it if that's the rules. Really? Why was that? Why is you posting titties online more important? Because that was something that was making money off as well. Huh? Making your what? I was making money off that as well. Oh, come on. Was it comparable? Then where's that money today? Yeah. Good question. Uh-huh. Spent it. So did you quit at the end of a school year? Yeah. Thank goodness. I wouldn't leave in the middle. Well, I don't know. With you, I don't know. So another reason that I left Fargo was because of the roommate situation that I was in. The roommate situation. What was that? It was... An anti-trans? No, it was a trans person. Okay, so you guys were transing it up, touching fake clits. Oh, God. ugh no no no no no you're the one with one i don't know i'm not disgusted by it i was the one um my roommate was an older person that transitioned older like is this are we ageist no but i'm just telling you the situation okay i put them through tranny boot camp essentially what oh tranny boot camp uh okay because nobody was there i'm also sure the parents of the school loves that you have a camp well but that was afterwards i'm kidding come on tell me yes tell me um so they i had no one when i transitioned so i wanted to try to feed that person for somebody and long story short banded up falling in love with me okay well tell them no i did okay there you go what how old are they how old are you 63 and how old are you 32 why are your roommates with Some weirdo? To help them. I needed a roommate. And they needed a roommate as well. Oh, what a mistake. It was. Okay, so what happened then? 100%. That you had to emergency spend $2,500 to move. Well, that and the manager. What happened? What happened? They were very protective, overprotective of me, weirdly. And jealous of guys that I would hang out with. They were guys. What? That you would... oh yes hang out with yes got you got you um you you you are not smart and to the point where like they got very very violent and in what way to who and how to me so they're protecting you so they hit you no to like the guys the it was man yeah essentially but the guys fight the straight men No, they wouldn't actually fight the straight men. What are you saying? You said they got violent. Yes. They did get violent. They did get violent. They had a gun, so that made me very uncomfortable. Did they shoot someone? No. Where's the violence? They had one. They threatened to. They threatened to shoot you? Not me. The guys. Did he threaten the guys? Yes. He threatened them? Yes. He said, I will shoot you. I will kill you. Okay, there it is. That is bad. That is bad. Yeah, so I was on the... I understand wanting to move from that. Well, it just... I didn't want to be with someone that was in love with me in that weird way. Well, yeah, that's weird. But also, if you set your boundary and they're like, chill with it, it should be okay. No, but they're not chill with it. But they're not with it. There was no boundaries. Uh-huh. That was the problem. Yes, I agree. Did you guys... God, no. Okay. Did you see it? No. You never saw it? No. He was in love with you and he never tried to manipulate that. Okay, that's good. He... Well, he tried, but he didn't force. They did. Okay, good. But I was like... Good. Yeah, draw your line. That's good. Always draw a line. No. You like that. You can advocate for yourself. So many people can't these days. Yeah. I needed to get out of that situation plus getting... Oh, you had to call the cops on them. Almost. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, almost. And that was the point where I was like, okay, this needs to change. All right. Let's make you a budget. Okay. I mean, what's your rent? $1,650. $1,650. You said internet, gas, electric utilities are all included in that? Yep, in Garage. Okay. Well, I wasn't, okay. Part of it. $25 for the Apple Card and $304.04 for the Upstart. No minimum payments to the parents yet. So that makes your debt to minimum monthly payments $329.04. Okay. Vroom, vroom, drive, drive, gasoline to run over the protesters. How much? 20 bucks. A month? You live right next to the coffee shop? Yep. Literally? Yep. Okay. And it's a Prius. I'm not going to say the word. I'm not going to call you one. Car insurance, how much? 75. What? That's incredible. Yep. Phone bill? 110. Ah, there it is. You owe on your phone? I mean, I have the Apple upgrade program. Okay. I would do helium anyway. It's like 15 bucks a month. And T-Mobile has to be getting it. Can that work? Yes, I think so. With an Apple upgrade program? Well, you would just have to get off that program. Oh, that's the problem. Why is your undernose wet this entire conversation? Does it just drain with all the things you've done? Yeah, sure. Does it? No, I think it's makeup. Huh? I think it happens sometimes with makeup. Okay. Well, you're not sniffing. No, no, no, no. No. groceries 300 bucks a month use the meal plan and the cookbook and all that good stuff that i master your money that i have that's exactly anything else you need to survive i'm gonna make you 175 instead of 100 because you need extra things thank you you don't need tampons though no which is nice nope i don't even need to performatively have that okay do something oh Oh, yeah. That's a thing. Okay. Medical health care. Co-pays on a monthly basis. Come on. I know you got... Come on. You don't have medication to take. Yeah, but it's not a monthly thing. You don't have co-pays? It's every three months. How much for that? $75. Okay. I'll put like $30. $25. You have a gym? Nope. Okay. Subscriptions, I'll put in $50. You have any pets? Nope. that's good you're not playing on it are you uh no that's good anything else i need to put in this budget you put it's pretty it's pretty lean which is great honestly i don't know how you're but what i mean spending habits is what's it up yes that's what i'm saying and the fact that i overspent by that much i'm so gagged uh nope it's not happening okay needed to survive on a monthly basis, $2,734.04. You make five. You shouldn't have to take out money from your parents. You have an extra $2,200 on a monthly basis. Give you $200 for fun. You have $2,000 left on a monthly basis. Apple's paid off in a month. Don't use it again. You can use the Fizz card. What is wrong with you? Okay. Upstart has paid off in about four. Four months? Yeah, dude, because you actually have money, even with spending $400 on fund. And with your $2,350 you have left on a monthly basis at that point, $2,300 at that point, takes a year and a quarter to pay off your parents. This is all done in a year and three quarters. Two years max. Then you get a fully funded emergency fund, and then you start contributing to retirement again, maybe 50, 25, 25, 50% on living, 25% for fun, 25% for investing, and you have a great life. Okay, we have a lot of crazy things to talk about in the post show, and a lot of crazy things are going to happen in the post show. You can already tell. Brandon, get ready. Get the hands ready for squeezing. Oh, my God. Join Hammer Elite. I'm going to get the Hammer financial score done first, and then make sure you click that Join button for Hammer Elite. Best membership on YouTube, number one, three shows a day, six days a week. spending your budget you overspend zero out of ten debt otherwise but the parent loan kind of sucks but i'll say two out of ten parent loan brings it down emergency fund and the upstart is pretty brutal as well emergency fund is about a three out of ten retirement not good one out of ten real estate zero out of ten you shouldn't have said you're a zero with that little bit of savings you had that doesn't really make sense hammer financial score 1.5 out of 10 get yours at calebhammer.com now join us for an extra 20 minutes in the hammer or in the financial out post show. See you there. You got to call your parents. It is time to own up. You got to own the up for your mistakes. Call them now. When were we planning on starting that repayment? I mentioned it a couple of times. I don't know. Maybe dad has too. I think I would be able to pay it back in. Hey guys, don't forget about free cash linked in the description and pinned comment below.