Lord of the Rings- The Two Towers (2002)

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This is a great way to pinpoint the things you got to work on. I personally believe the more info you have, the better off your life is going to be and that's why True Diagnostic is so great. Our listeners can get 20% off at TrueDiagnostic.com using code confused at checkout. That's TrueDiagnostic.com. Use code confused for 20% off today. Choose True Age, True Health or the Combo Kit as a one time purchase or subscription. I'm in the kitchen with Charlie Bigam. So what have we got here, Charlie? My brand new pan-fried pad thai noodles. Noodles? But you're Mr Fish Pie Guy. Guilty. And while ovens rule at roasting. The pan is king of noodling. Whether it's pad thai, yaki sabre or laxa, finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole. But all I have to do is stir it in the pan for six minutes, right? Bingo! Try the new Charlie Bigam's Asian Pan-Fry Noodle Range handmade in my kitchen. Pan-fried in yours. I'm in the kitchen with Charlie Bigam. So what have we got here, Charlie? My brand new pan-fried pad thai noodles. Noodles? But you're Mr Fish Pie Guy. Guilty. And while ovens rule at roasting. The pan is king of noodling. Whether it's pad thai, yaki sabre or laxa, finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole. But all I have to do is stir it in the pan for six minutes, right? Bingo! Try the new Charlie Bigam's Asian Pan-Fry Noodle Range handmade in my kitchen. Pan-fried in yours. Well, hello and welcome to the Confused Breakfast Podcast. Do you remember the pure joy of a trip to the video rental store as a kid? Yeah! Sure, it's hard to beat the issues and the convenience of the modern streaming era. But the experience of a Friday night trip to Blockbuster to make the big and sometimes tough decision of what movie was coming home with you was a truly magical experience. We're all a part of the last generation that knows the joy of the search, the snap of the plastic clamshell, and we're all here to revisit the movies that shaped us and defined our childhoods. My name is Mike Schulte and joining me is always two dudes who are natural sprinters, very dangerous over short distances. Sean Pryon, AJ Vance, how the heck are you? Vigil Morton's broke two toes when you kicked the helmet next to the York pile. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? The end, thank you guys for listening. Oh, God. The actor that played Gimli is actually like six foot four. It is like, it was really crazy. Did you know? Fuck! Oh my God. Oh, God, I just had to stomach it this whole time. Literally two weeks, we've been holding this in, you guys. Finally, we can go viral with all this shit. Oh, okay. We can just title us what it's like to talk about Lord of the Rings with your friends. Did you know? It's the first thing you say to anyone when you meet them for the first time. Vigil Morton's broke seven. Well, boys, today's episode is powered by our friends at Big Grove Brewery. They've got some delicious beers on tap over there. Today we went with some citrus surfer Limes, baby. It is the most refreshing drink of the summer in my opinion. And I'm excited to talk movies with you guys, drinks and beers. Today's movie completes our month of sequels with 2002's The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers. We're going to do a scene by scene deep dive analysis on the entire movie. But first, we got to talk nostalgia, fun facts and reviews to set the stage. Let's start with Sean. Sean, tell us the first time you saw this movie, what your nostalgic rating is was? I don't really remember, but I know I was super excited about the first one coming out and saw that in the theaters for sure. And then, but I don't remember seeing this one in the theater at all. Like I have no recollection of this, but I must have. And I must have really loved it. I'm going to have to say a 7.5. That means really loved it. All right. Yeah, man. Hey, Jay, how about you? It's no blade, but it's pretty good. I definitely saw this in theaters. I saw the first one. I was like, this is insane. And then the first one ends and you're just like, they can't end a movie like this was going on. And then they released the second one. And then I understood what a trilogy is. And so then, but I saw this in theaters, had to go and see it. And I was just infatuated with it the entire time when I got fellowship. It was amazing. I got this. It was even more of what I actually wanted from this series. So I'm going to go ahead, give this a big ol 9.4. Damn 9.4 for AJ. Just a reminder to everybody out there. If you're watching your favorite show or your favorite movie and you're like, can't wait for the next season. And you're like, oh, it's going to be three years because it's hard work. It's hard to make a new movie, a new season. Just fucking remember that Lord of the Rings, arguably the greatest trilogy of all time came out every year in a row until three of the greatest movies ever made were released. Super weird. So just don't be duped by these fucking Hollywood elites telling you it takes three years to make Stranger Things final season. Anyway, I hated, just kidding. I love this movie so much. I had never read anything about Lord of the Rings. Never knew it was really a thing. First one comes out, buddy drags me to the theater, fall instantly madly in love with it. Cannot wait for the second one to come out. Opening night in the theater. I gave it, I gave fellowship at 9.6, this is going to be a 9.5. Not quite as good, but I was all in. Couldn't wait for the third one to come around. Dylan Mick, executive producer, the two towers may have had as much pre-release hype in the early 2000s as episode one, The Phantom Menace did. If only because fellowship was so good and was filmed consecutively and was being released a year later, everyone knew it was going to rock. This came out on my 15th birthday and in my small town, our two screen theater rarely ever did true midnight releases, but somehow on a school night, my mom let me go with several of our friends, stand in line outside the theater for three hours before they let us into our seats to see an epic battle we all knew was coming. I had grown up on the books, my dad was a huge proponent of forcing me to read influential fiction books, so I knew it was coming into this movie prepared, my buddies for it, and it delivered. Helms Deep was amazing then and is a cultural film battle, touch tone, Gimli and Legolas competing for kills was perfection and really as a blockbuster, this lived up to everything. Can't say I recall many movies in my life living up to the often insane and unwarranted type of this shirt, a 9.95. Nostalgically as a group, we're an 8.52 and that's going to take us pretty high on the list. 8.52 is going to be all alone in the 33rd spot. 101 Dalmatians, definitely better nostalgically for us, but this was better than gone in 60 seconds nostalgically. Well, next we got to go to Sean, let's learn all the important details of the movie. What do you got on this thing? Probably nothing much. No, produced by Barry M. Osborne, Fran Walsh and Peter Jackson. Fran Walsh, I learned that it is Peter Jackson's wife. Oh, written by you know, she was independent woman like, you know, doesn't need the last name Jackson. Yeah, written by Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyans, Steven Sinclair and Peter Jackson. Yeah, man. Based off of JRR Tolkien, Tolkien, Talcom, music by Howard Shore, a cemetery by Andrew Lesney. He also did Babe, worked with Peter Jackson a lot, Lord of the Rings, all of them King Kong, lovely bones, and he did I am legend. Added by Michael Horton, directed by Peter Jackson, did motherfucking bad taste. And that is what's up bad taste and dead alive. He was a horror director before he was mainstream. No, doing all that shit. No, best movies around cast Elijah Woods, Sean Aston, Andy Serkis, Vigo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, John Rhys Davies, Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee, Billy Boy, Dominic Monahan, Miranda Otto, Liv Tyler, Hugo, Weaving Brad, D'Rof, Carl, Urban, Bernard Hill and David Wenham. The Lord of the Rings films shot in New Zealand over two years, making it one of the only productions of its kind. And one of the only ones that'll ever do it. I think I think we'll never see ever see people too scared, man. Yeah. In fact, as shooting on the two towers finished fellowship was just premiering in theaters. Shooting this particular film was very taxing on the crew and actors as there were a lot of injuries that occurred on set. Vigo Mortensen broke two toes. Oh my God, are you still being more one part and almost also drowned. Do people know about that one? Well, it's not as glamorous of a thing to tell. Fuck man, because you don't get to see it on film. That's true. They use that tape. They use the tape because it was so good. It was like amazing. The emotion, Orlando Bloom fell off a horse and cracked a few ribs and Brett Beatty, a stuntman for most of the actors, dislocated his knee. The Helms Deep sequence took the cast and crew three months to shoot and all at night and in the rain, no less. The shoot was grueling, but spirits were high as they were the whole two years. They were there. A lot of that leadership, not only from Jackson helped the crew stay at task, but the natural leadership of Vigo Mortensen helped the spirits of the actors, especially those under heavy, heavy makeup. He would like every time a stunt performer would get done doing something, he'd like head butt them like, yeah, man, fuck yeah. He's just the best. I love him so much. I'm so turned on by him in this movie. So just like, I would go there for you. It's really upsetting. Yeah. The casting of Andy Serkis as Gollum was obviously super important. At first, they were just looking for voice actors, but when they saw Serkis audition, he was so physical and his facial reactions were such a part of the performance, Jackson decided to have Serkis on set acting with his fellow actors in person. Much of the sets for the film were real, let alone the location. The crew actually built the Rohan city of Adorus on top of a real mountain called Mount Sunday. The exterior set took six months to build. On top of this, a lot of the practical effects are real as well, with miniatures and forced perspective shots, making you feel like you were there with your favorite actors. We'll talk a lot more about that, but like on top of it, shooting three films over two years, the practical nature and all that of a lot of the shots, like there is a little CGI, but that will never happen again as well. The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers was released on December 18th, 2002, and on a budget of 94 million, the film made 944 million at the box office and won two of its six potential Oscars for Best Visual Effects and Best Sound Editing. Well, thanks Sean. We got to go to AJ now. We got to know what the fans and the critics had to say about this movie. What are you got here there? I got... It's me. It's a tomato meter. Sometimes I know what is coming. Sometimes I don't. Okay. All right. All right. It's fine. 95% certified fresh. Okay. So per the critics, they think this is the same quality of movie as Evil Dead and Nightmare on Elm Street. Check's out. Fuck yeah, dude. The audiences 100% agree that it is 95%. Then you have IMDb and 8.8. You would think that's kind of low, but that's actually very high for IMDb of all the movies we've done tied in the second spot with Fight Club and Forest Gump. Still pretty pathetic though, bringing up the rear of the trilogy. Oh man. Yeah. The worst of the trilogy is the number 11th rated IMDb movie of all time. It's pathetic, dude. It's just pathetic. Do better. You know, if they would have just stopped and never made the hobbits, that would have been our clear cut winner. Exactly. Yeah. What's, what's number one for that? Return. I mean, what's number one on ours? On our list? Is it Princess Bride probably? For IMDb's, Princess Bride, it can't be. You mean like what we nostalgically thought or? No, just like with the movies that we've done, the IMDb number one. Pulp Fiction and Fellowship are 8.9. They are tied. I see. Guys, Ty Berth, Boston Globe gave this 100. He said, Lord of the Rings, the two towers is better, tighter, smarter, and funnier. Richard Corliss at the time, of the time, 100 out of 100. Towers will not quite so varied as fellowship in its moods and settings has a grave gusto that energizes every moment, a thrilling work of film craft. Guys, Rajeeb Roger Ebert gave this a 75 out of 100. He gave it a three out of four. He was like, I needed it a little bit. It came to, I needed another year or two to digest the first one before this one came out. Anytime that there's, that McDonald's is having toys in a movie, it sucks me right out. Vigo Stolen My Wife. Yeah, this movie came too fast and I don't like it when it reminds me of my own plight. Chicago Sun-Times, a rousing adventure. A rousing? Yeah. It was Vigo, yeah. A skillful marriage of, don't, of special effects and computer animation. And it contains sequences of breathtaking beauty. It also gives us, in a character named Gollum, one of the most engaging and convincing CGI creatures I've ever seen. But 75. 75. It brought us the greatest thing I've ever seen, our CGI, but three out of five. Maitland, McDonough, a TV guide magazine. This second installment is heavy on battle sequences, which will thrill some viewers more than others. They gave that a 60 out of 100. TV guide was wrong this time. Weird. Alright guys, IMDb is done there. We got Lord of the Rings on Letterboxed. This is gonna be good. This is gonna be good, I think. Probably my favorite one. I'll just start right off the bat. When the fucking ends, take an entire day to have one short conversation with each other, but then the second Treebeard sees what nonsense Saruman has done. He just shouts, and those ends zoop into Isengard so fast, and just start busting skulls. And the fact that Saruman thought that he was hot shit, and that then his entire scheme was destroyed by some super old pissed off trees. Iconic. I never thought of that before. Great. We'll get there. Oh yeah. Classic if we want to just stay on the quote train. Potatoes, boil them, mash them, stick them in his stew. Potatoes. Iconic. Iconic. If you recall, I don't know if you picked the one, it was from one of Logan's games. I think one of the Letterbox was like, I had to watch this movie with my mom and hear her keep saying, see so hot or something like that. That's a good Letterbox. Five stars, Aowyn. So where is she? The woman that gave you that jewel, Aragorn. She's sailing to the Undying Lands with all that is left of her kin. Aowyn, so you're telling me there's a chance. So where is she? I like how she goes, yeah, there's like, there's a chance, but then she sees Legolas give him the pendant back, and she's like, oh no. Dang it. He's got the pendant back. Still a chance for not for being. Aragorn kicks the helmet, me looking at my friend next to me trying not to tell the fact. Just like, I call, I was like, Molly, come down here. Did you come down here? She goes, why am I like, look at, he actually breaks his toes on this. She goes, I'm going upstairs. I told my dogs. It was important for them to understand. Legolas may only have like nine lines, but his platinum sleek plated blonde hair speaks louder than words. Let's see here. Got a couple more for you guys. My Frodo, your Sam, come on. These two are going to Bowntown, right? Yep, 100%. Brokeback Mordor. Yeah. I was going to say, broke back Mount Doom, but it's fine. We're good at this. Frodo wouldn't have gotten far without Sam, obviously. Make Gay Frodo canon. Legolas sliding down the stairs on a shield. No one has ever done it like him. There you go. Five stars for Legolas's horse mount, and it started raining, and suddenly I became more concerned about Legolas's hair than the actual battle. So there you go. Well boys, it's time to dive in scene by scene with a modern eye to Lord of the Rings, the two towers. But first, I must tell you a story about the time that I decided to watch the extended cuts of all three Lord of the Rings movies in one day. I started at 9 a.m. on a Sunday, and let me tell you, it was no easy task. Maybe the toughest battle of my entire life. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought with the Lord of the Rings until it last. I threw down my enemy and smote him, smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time. The stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as a life age on the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I had been sent back to start a podcast and review them all with a modern eye while wearing a costume of myself. Man flesh! Raw man flesh! Here we go! So scene one, the film opens by revisiting Gandalf's fall with the ball rock. Frodo awakens from this nightmare and continues towards Mordor with Sam, but they're soon ambushed by Gollum. After capturing him, Frodo shows mercy and convinces Gollum to guide them to Mordor. Meanwhile Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are tracking the Orochi who kidnapped Mary and Pippin. In Rohan, King Theoden is under the corrupt influence of Warm Tongue, who secretly serves Saruman, leaving the kingdom weak and vulnerable. Aromare confronts Warm Tongue and is banished for speaking out. But seriously, the score is fucking so good. Like as soon as it started, I'm sucked in immediately. This is a 3 hour fucking movie. I was like, god damn it, when I put it on. But when that music kicks in, I'm like, I don't care what happens. Do you, I think this would be hard for me to say if this were like three days ago, but I'm convinced that the Lord of the Rings score is the greatest of all time. From start to finish, I do not think there's anything that has ever been better. It's really hard. I really think it's the three that I can think of right now is this Harry Potter and Star Wars. It's like maybe the best of all time. Yep. And I just think this somehow edges it. It does something weird to you when you hear this music a little bit more than the other ones do. Sure. That do do do do do do. Like when the thing. That was exactly how it goes. So in my head, I was gonna sing it. Score by Randy Newman. I was gonna do the whole thing, but then as I started to do it, I realized it was very slow. And so I was like, I'll just speed it up. We got like a look at the timer right now. Okay. Just out there on a five. Just blast it through. Just like go rodo and fame and go and hiking. Couple songs by Jethro Tolle. Hey, Aqualung. It is the best. Okay. All right. But can we, I do, I forgot that they revisit the ball rock scene here to start the movie. And it's such a great choice because when the first one ends, like you're like, okay, well, if you know nothing about the story, you're like, again, off's gone. You know, like, and so the fact that we see this again, it's so great. It's so visually stunning. That shot where they come down and finally fall and see the lake and it starts to brighten as the fire opens out and they come down. I mean, that's absolute beauty. But I, you know, as a guy who does like Gandalf a lot, how, how did the, you do, how did the dwarves get by living in a place like this where that bridge, there's not even like a handrail or anything on that little bridge. And that is like a 10 mile long hole for like a dwarf to fall down, you know, like maybe, maybe a rope, maybe a, like a little handrail to get across that thing. They're short. They got a low center of gravity. Man, they have no worries, not a care in the world. Then their feet, they can freeze solo all day. Oh yeah. Like it's, it's no problem to them. But Mike, you got to understand this place has been on, there hasn't seen any management. Oh shit. Maybe there was years. Right. So comes in and like knocks it over, goes just in case. Places infested with, with goblins and orc and whatnot. So that's true. You know, just mismanaged the entire time. Have you ever seen like a building that just goes unmanaged for a long time? And then it's just bat lendo mall. There you go. Marcus theaters. Marcus theaters. Like the first scene, we get a wizard fighting a flaming hell demon in midair. That's massive. We're so fucking spoiled. Dude. This is so awesome. It's like, leave the weapon too. Like it just starts. You're like, let's go. This very well could have started with like the same way. Hop down somewhere in the city. It's so good. And then, and then I think pretty much right away you've got your introduction to golem. Cause in the first one, you only see like the eyes, right? The CGI version of him. Yeah. Completely different version. Completely different version. We'll get to him a little bit later, but I always forgot kind of how tough of a choice this is for Sam and Frodo because yeah, like he does know the way to Mordor, but they should just kill him. Yeah. I mean, like it's, there's a lot of choices in this movie that people make, but they should golem should be dead. I need to cut and they'll figure it out. I need the cut of like them arguing and then in between each one of them saying like, what's going on? You just have it cutting over to Donnie where he's like, he's right. He's right. They're both right. Like that kind of shit from Ninja Turtles band because it's like, it's the same damn thing. You're just like, yeah, we should, we should time up and leave them here. Yeah. And it's, yeah, you absolutely should. Well, but we are literally going in circles. Think of how many times maybe they have gone in circles through these like little places. You're just like, it's a terrible situation. Yeah. You're either going to just die lost like some lost hiker or you're going to have to take the uncertain guide. Yeah. DraftKings Casino is changing the game with flex spins. New players play $5 and get 1500 flex spins 50 a day for 30 days. Then you choose how to play across your favorite games like Huff and More Puff, Cash Eruption and more. Download the app now, sign up with code confused to claim 1500 flex spins on your choice of slots. The crown is yours in partnership with DraftKings Casino. I'm in the kitchen with Charlie Bigham. So what have we got here, Charlie? My brand new pan fry pad thai noodles. Noodles? But you're Mr. Fish Pie Guy. Guilty. And while ovens rule at roasting, the pan is king of noodling. Whether it's pad thai, yakisoba or laxa finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole. But all I have to do is put the pan in the oven and then I'm going to put the pan in the oven. I'm in the kitchen with Charlie Bigham. So what have we got here, Charlie? My brand new pan fry pad thai noodles. Noodles? But you're Mr. Fish Pie Guy. Guilty. And while ovens rule at roasting, the pan is king of noodling. Whether it's pad thai, yakisoba or laxa finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole. But all I have to do is stir it in the pan for six minutes, right? Bingo. Try the new Charlie Bigham's Asian pan fry noodle range handmade in my kitchen. Pan fried in yours. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. fish pie guy. Guilty. And while ovens rule at roasting, the pan is king of noodling. Whether it's Pad Thai, Yaki Saber or Laxa, finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole. But all I have to do is stir it in the pan for six minutes, right? Bingo! Try the new Charlie Biggams Asian pan-fry noodle range handmade in my kitchen. Pan-fried in yours. I mean like even like cutting forward a little bit I guess but to when they get to the black gates and like same in front of her like ready like let's let's go like oh no that's why we came here I guess you know and then and then golems like pulls them back like is he pulling him back you think because he wants more time with the ring like more time to like kind of maybe find a way for himself to get it I don't think so I think he's one of the golems one of the most complicated characters in like movie history because like it on this on the surface it's like I it's just this weird little creature but it's like he's fighting dual personalities where he like I think in this movie there are times where he genuinely is like considering Frodo a friend yeah and thinks that Frodo's is new master and he he's gonna take care of him but then you've got the moments where like he needs the ring back and it's like I don't know I don't know what he would do what he's doing there I have no clue man that's what I feel I feel like he's just he knows he's been through this whole thing we saw that all through like kind of the first one golems been through the worst of it behind those gates and he also knows it's like you're just gonna walk right in there you're just basically you just like you're just taking it to yeah you know sauron it's like so there's gotta be another way yeah yeah who knows lembas bread looks good ooh here's a prop I don't know I like bread man like I feel like I feel like they they're talking badly about lembas bread but I'm like that looks pretty it looks like I don't know like shortbread yeah and I'm thinking about like getting large leafs to like wrap around my head why is that like so enticing why don't we pack our lunches like that I don't know why is why did my mom not not like she would she would create a PB and J cut the crust off and then wrap it in a leaf to wrap it in the leaves a piece of kale yep exactly it's just a big banana leaf like why not that's of all the things I could have in this I'm like I kind of like bread that's hey great for you lembas bread numbers but you don't want lembas bread for a prop no no there's way cooler shit in here what yeah I think I'll probably go with the the helmet that he kicks oh yeah so that when somebody's like did you know I'm like not only did I know but I have the helmet that he did kick it's right here see this little that's where his toe broke how about it how about and then they kept the shot because he like yeah they did it's like so it was like he was very emotional and like they just you can tell on his face like he looks like someone who's just like so emotional and also very in a lot of pain yes I mean I'm so sorry I sound like this people are gonna turn it off man you sound like you're like kind of doing a constant vocal fry like I mean I'm out of here I thought I mean more than rings the two towers people be like so jelly of me if I have the helmet on my faking shell oh my god you need to go to Jessica's if you're gonna do spin class I'm gonna go to Jessica's and slap that bitch because of what she did to me and Jerry if you're gonna slap her then slap her ass because it looks great I'm not denying that so I want too many I want to Gimli's Gimli's smaller axe the one where he's like lower your axe like that one yeah yeah it's like the one-sided axe that the two-sided one's just too big to cumbersome I want the small one it's a good one speaking of Gimli the one thing that bugs me in this entire series is the fact that they're trying to imply that Gimli could actually keep up with Legolas and Aragorn enough to where they will actually go faster than orcs yeah to catch up to them yeah like that's Gimli supposed to be the size of like my toddler right he's yeah I mean he's he's like he he's got to be like we'll say he's like four four feet okay that there's no way this this fat little dwarf can keep up with Aragorn and Legolas which means they're being slower which means they're not catching up to these orcs yeah well on top happening on top of that though and kind of in the same vein guys I did take some notes this time I know wow really surprising wow finally I know it knows what he's talking about so this this is my note that had in reference to this Mike is this just says Gimli is a fucking liar dude he's kind of my least favorite of all of them he used to be my favorite really and I still think he he still has a great like warm place in my heart right but it's just like but like no Aragorn is the one yes you know I mean like the video game of this movie is famously fucking awesome yes I don't know if you guys I played as Gimli all the time okay so I played as Aragorn and like there is no other choice like there just wasn't like I'm not I mean Legolas like I think I did a couple times just because the bow and arrows was fucking awesome but it's always Aragorn man yeah see I mean I always I was always Gimli I don't know why I just said I was like oh I gotta be him yeah no one else is gonna be him I'm the outlier that's what I'm saying like nobody nobody wants really like Gimli doesn't do shit in this whole series let's just put it that way oh he does he does too but he just doesn't do near as much and that's why I say he's a fucking liar because he's just he's like running along and he's saying he's like oh cross-country we're natural sprinters like you're you're lying you don't run you like you don't run you're not a runner yeah he says Aragorn says like they're less than a less than a day ahead of us now I'm like just two minutes ago they were right there yeah yeah they're right there but then he's then he says like they must be like they're fueled by some sort of hate or like some magical spell like like dude okay like Legolas has like it said earlier Legolas has like nine lines in this movie but it's like it's so exhausting listening to him talk it is about anything it's just they run as if the very whips of the Masters were right behind them thanks they're going fast I don't have time just stop your L5 what is that is that like his brown eye yeah man his is like price silver yeah don't poop didn't he read the books that's right they actually don't shit that's what lemba spread it is it's just it's a present no it's just that's actually what they poop oh I say yeah it doesn't but they don't it doesn't it's not a it doesn't strain them to do it guano yeah basically um Brad Durif as worm tone yeah like first of all it's like you guys have no idea that this is a bad guy this is as like Slytherin as it gets it's it's the one name that I'm like you come on J.R.R.R. like what were you thinking man it's oh oh my yeah who would have thought that this guy named greasy mclyer mouth is a bad guy like what I couldn't believe it we've been letting them hang around us for like years he's been a worm tongue really grimy yeah I mean come on grimy grimy snake face is is a bad guy and like we're all surprised by this we're all just we're just all now coming around to this and we're just now coming around the ideas like huh King looks pretty haggard it's like he's like ghostly or something it's it's just it's like ghostly it's like a metaphor for like having someone who's a narcissist in your life you know like do you totally just like by your side the entire time just dragging you down like making you not feel like yourself like like a energy vampire dude that's what grim tongue is I love Brad Dereff I love that he's cast in this it's kind of weird to hear him have like an English accent because he's I don't think he's played many English people before but he's a voice of Chucky the doll okay he's been in he's been in he was in the Halloween series that Rob Zombie did as the sheriff bracket a lot a lot of great roles obviously you like one flew over the cuckoo's nest yeah fucking awesome in but a great character actor that when brought in is just like so welcome to this world in my in my opinion like he's just just fits in he just like is that character whenever he's playing a character and to see him and Christopher Lee on screen like share screen time is just like for a horror fan oh baby baby that checks out I mean well they're they're great together it's like they're back and forth stick that they have I really like their chemistry he does this like amazing thing with his eyes that he his his eyes how do you make how does he how do you how do they make you feel bad for a guy named Grim of Wormtongue yeah dude it's like he's manipulating us yeah but you feel a little bit of in fact later on I think when he sees the army when he's with Saruman crying he a tear comes down from his eyes and it's like he's I initially took that as like he was like happy that yeah but I think he's got some sadness for I think he does feel things for the people that he was manipulating back in Rohan especially Hottie McGee yeah but I do think he was super sad about that like oh shit what have I done yeah it's like a it's like kind of like a golemish kind of yeah I think where he's like he's really buried that part of himself but like still can't yeah it's that's why he's so good yeah I just I think that he is like I mean I wanted you to fuck him up not like kill him all no you know that's that's what he's what what's that what no I'm talking about like that's what Grim is talking about he's like why just wanted to like go fuck him up or something guys I didn't want 10,000 just like go annihilate him I still wanted to marry that one guy yeah Hottie McGee yeah God so yeah well seen to meanwhile Frodo Sam and golem crossed the eerie dead marshes and reached the heavily guarded black gate Aero Mirs riders attack destroy the Orochi allowing Mary and Pippin to escape into Fangorn forest where they meet Treebeard and ancient end Aragorn's group finds the aftermath and believes the hobbit's dead until they meet the return of Gandalf Gandalf freeze King Theoden from Saruman's control exploding warm tongue and restoring the King's will Theoden chooses to retreat his people to Helms deep while Gandalf rides off to gather reinforcements all right Mike can you take that off it's getting a little bit weird at this point do you feel this way too we ain't had but Magadi Bradford three staking days he's fucking it's a great line let me say one thing and then I'll take this off it's just getting weird let me just say one thing just getting weird go ahead I am able to confidently say right now that I don't know if I could have taken two more Lord of the Rings movies without Gandalf after never knowing the story and watching the first one and seeing him die I was devastated when Gandalf died oh yeah and the fact that he returns is is so awesome because I love that character and he needs to be in this thing and he's such an integral part of this story and I'm glad he's back there you go I can take it off now that'd be great you sure this is what I really look like it's just normal me it's ugly me wow dude continue to talk do not trust to hope for these lands forsaken or that has forsaken these lands some of the lines in this are like I'm sure they pulled like straight from the book or any of the novels for that matter but still like a very like poignant like it's it's just like you feel like when you when you read that it's like you can feel it you can like kind of it feels like you can hold it you know like it just it has a lot of weight to it some of these lines and that's what I think that's what I appreciate most about like the pros in these movies like you know some sort of some lines that Legolas says can get a little taxing or it's just like yeah but Aragorn the Kings Gandalf they are speaking beautifully yeah every time every time Figo Mortensen is talking I'm just like yeah yeah I would ride to the ends of the earth with you yeah and it's just like man the guy the guy and and if you ever watch some of like the behind-the-scenes stuff of him talking it's like the same way yeah he's just so calm and so like just like kind of this very quiet confidence or whatever he just just talks and everything he says and the way he talks about being in this movie and like you said earlier Sean about how he was he was a really great champion and leader for this entire production like he was doing that for everybody on set yeah and and especially during this the Helms deep stuff that we'll get to but I just will hang on every word he's got not so much some of the other guys did you know did you know much about like what really happened to Gandalf you know he like makes this explanation of I did this and then I transcended space and time and it's like it never made sense to me what actually happened and like why he returned and why all of a sudden he kind of oh yes Gandalf that's what they like he's different he's Gandalf but he's different in a weird way and so I did kind of look into it he's Gandalf's like this ancient god yeah angel that's been around for hundreds of thousands of years and he did essentially die but his body was brought back into the heavens and the gods or whatever his soul was and the the gods that ruled the realm sent him back in amplified his powers and essentially sent him back to take over sorrow man like cuz Saruman's being stripped of right Saruman's being stripped of his powers and his duties because of he's such a piece of shit he's being impeached he's being impeached exactly and so they sent Gandalf back but yeah like it's weird how he doesn't kind of remember who he is and yeah it's like it's like a recycled god tonight not to reduce it to that but it's basically what it is some sort of but Benjamin Button effect going on yeah he's just born an old man that's what they used to call that's what they used to call me is that's Ian McKellen yeah is he is he gay in real life I don't know it's either him or yeah is it Ian and I felt I feel it a little bit in that scene when he's like that's what they used to call him like it sort of comes through and I love it and I'm so fucking like cuz I love that man so much but it was a weird little like move that he makes it's really crazy to Gandalf to realize that he's Magneto as well right you know and like all of his other roles as well where it's just like to see him like like with beard clad and long hair and like Gandalf he is Gandalf it's just the the amount of iconic characters this man has played is staggering it is and to do like a perfect tea effect of all these characters like does them all justice and and he becomes them like like when I see a man I mean oh I think of him you can't see anybody else except Ian McKellen as Gandalf yep if you read if you watch the movies before you read the books sorry it's yeah there's no one it's been ruined even then you still might be like well that's who it is yeah Gandal Gandalf the gay I am Gandalf the straight I don't know that one didn't land as well huh Logan is that he's he the a yaks shout on that one yellow card on that one okay one scene that I wanted to bring up that I really thought was really cool was when they are still looking for Mary Mary and Pippi Pippi you're fucking me fucking long sock Mary Poppins really it's really difficult yeah and they think they're dead but like he's like the airgreens being a detective pretty much like kind of like like fucking eat in the ground and like smelling smelling some plants like yeah they were over here it's a really cool way to show us what happened because we don't see like what happens we see the horse coming down on him and then it's that's it I really like that sort of bit of filmmaking of just like see like seeing something that happened through like somebody realizing what might have happened you know yeah it's very it's very much a detective line they're like of writing yeah if you will and it's and it is it's again it is like one of my favorite sequences is them running and chasing these orcs and then running into the Rohirrim yep and the shots of them running in New Zealand guys with that music when and turn turn turn it is epic then you get how I don't know how many horses like horsemen they got going through here it's just an it's an insane amount of production that is just going into this and then and then him kicking the helmet yes we know we you know he broke the toes okay yeah yeah he did he's like actually did it he stayed in character and he did he was one of those things where he didn't want to like make a fuss about it because everybody else is having a tough time to all right the fact that we said it on the fellowship but the fact that he was not supposed to be Aragorn oh and they got him last minute fucking crazy and like just because his son was such a massive fan yeah and just put all of his fucking dick and balls into this movie man like this is again like there's no other person for this role can we also talk about maybe one of the other most hated lines of this movie that is how does an orc know what a menu is right it's like an orc has never been to a restaurant looks like meets back on the menu boys it's like they were just came from the end that kind of a thing all right guys here's the menu we got we got soup and we got bone broth that we're out of a chicken tenders yeah we got we're running low on fries so whoever wants fries six ranch that was yesterday I don't have any more none none but we got plenty of me and we got and we got we got Hobbit legs so perfect so that's the orcs menu if we were on a train to go punch a face yeah I'm on board I was gonna single out an orc but literally every single orc in this entire series I just I cannot stand to look at them I know you're talking about just single him out it's the it's the the cross-eyed one that chases him in the woods yeah yeah he's just one more time one more time no I can't why are we paying you one more time thank you we fucking got it thanks man got it we got it okay I hate all the work yeah what can't we have to meet it's like dude it's such a those guys are the worst there's nothing like there's something about these guys that make me so uncomfortable it's like they if if I always think of it this way if one of those guys came into this office it's like you don't want him sitting on the furniture you know what I mean they always look like they've got something on anybody walked in from this movie even like the Aragorn or something yeah you're not coming in it's like they just like they just came out of the bottom of a ball pit at Hardee's or something you know you're just like where did you come from what is all over you and I it's just so upsetting to look at any of them did you hear that they obviously couldn't recruit enough New Zealanders that were over six foot tall to play or a chi so they got a bunch of men that were like five foot ish as well yeah because they needed them all uniform so they could make them look bigger but they were affectionately known as the aura glow so the aura guy the or low or I mean they had to have some fun on that set I guarantee you can tell there's certain like hero makeup people like I forget what what's what his name is but he he played the the iraqai that shot Sean Bean in the first yeah the main dude yeah so he he comes back he plays a bunch of them you know he's that he's at Helms deep but like that's where I want to say to like this is all like the practical makeup the hero makeup the wetter the wetter makeup design and the monsters and everything is just so fucking sick and it's so Peter Jackson you don't think about how goddamn hard this movie had to have been to film like not only are they doing all this makeup stuff but then the fact that certain characters are only like two feet tall for hobbits are supposed to be like little toddlers every shot like pretty much matters in this every shot and to stage all of this to like especially with people with like here a makeup on and stuff like that is insane and then but then like sometimes too like I was watching a little bit behind the scenes of this and it was a scene where golem is like going through that creek trying to catch that fish and it's Andy circus doing it yeah and there was snow everywhere and they're they're like it's supposed to be spring so they literally just got like people flame throwers melted the snow took like hours only for them to do like four takes of this and who cares like if there would have been snow I wouldn't have thought it I would have always but it's supposed to be spring and whatever it like it just matters yeah like the details and everything really really matter to Jackson and that's why we get masterpieces like these I did never really like this part and I still don't that when they get to the black gate and Sam falls yeah and I've never quite understood how Sam could fall down an entire mountain side with rocks flying everywhere to where these Persian looking guys are like oh what's going on over there and then Frodo is running down the mountain to where somehow Sam gets to the bottom and he's buried to his armpits in rocks yeah to where Sam Frodo comes and covers him with a cloak one second before these guys are five feet away from them and they can't see them it's it's it still feels really strangely done to me and it's like one of the one of the scenes where I just don't understand it it is it's like it's kind of one of those things you you watch it one time you're like hey whatever but then you watch it again you're like how I mean they can see him right I mean like it's like they saw Frodo coming down like falling down the hill and by the way those guys getting out of formation seems like a big no right in front of their new masters yeah like oh it's like hey oh hey hey Gary let's go check that thing out there's some rocks falling over here some rocks falling from rock like immediately somebody's you like hey get back in line dude we're singing our song all right ready to go around the through the gate we're marching or marching through we're getting ready to be information it's like a marching band for sauron yep this is the fun part for like all the killing shit we don't really like it but yeah this like marching kind of our thing that's why we do that's why they picked us we're usually the best when we go to competitions for marching you're a tenor i'm a fucking sax let's find out play the quads brah yeah the the cloak thing is like is kind of like yeah especially because he's just right there yeah they're just standing they're looking through the cloak and they're like from me to you you can see the cloak like with the wind you know like they can't see that I don't like it's like harry potters like magic like it is invisibility cloak and that's the thing is like all the all the stuff of like the elvish I don't know a lack of a better term like the elvish technology because because like it's all magic and stuff like the rope that they have that that Sam has and and then these cloaks are they just like indestructible and like even even um aragorn I think makes it makes a comment about when that he finds the little broach then he's like the leaves of leaves of moss isley I don't know fucking just don't don't fall so idly like they never come unclipped you know what I mean really yeah it's like that's what that's that basically that's why it meant so much that he found it yeah like this shouldn't have come off you know what I that's my problem I want that I want one of the little broaches so my pants will always stay on okay how about that you have a problem with them falling off probably well I get actually I get it for my son okay there you go there um but yeah probably yes or no Jesus yeah we don't know yet I've never been enough to know if it's a problem you know I see well yeah you never know I guess better say better to have to have not anyways all this elvish stuff is like it's all magical stuff and I feel like they just come up with ideas of like basic inconveniences for people and they're like let's just solve that but not give them the technology no no no there's still our thing we still have like the patent pending listen if they survive this whole ordeal we're we're gonna want to set up our amazon shops yeah start selling elvin elvish el amazel elf it's like oh man I wish we could make a better cloak you know for when it's raining it's like well we made a waterproof cloak wow that's great it's like 1999 these these this pin just keeps coming undone it's like well I made a pin that never comes up when glassed ancient whisper that any any human could have in their home and all you have to do is ask Alexa and ask a question and elf knowledge just I just I hope that people were listening to this out loud and their Alexa went so that's always fun for me game over by the way yeah um game over the uh they start they get to Rohan yeah getting else with them uh and he's like they they disarm him and he's like you would not part an old man from his walking stick would you and they're like fine and he gives aragorn a little wink yeah fucking love that him him like he's a badass now because he was kind of felt like old man frail a little bit in the first one but now he's he's purposely coming in and fucking with sauron and they didn't yeah like he knows that if he wears this gray cloak that Saruman through they had in his eyes will be like you have no power here gang off the gray only to that like he even goes as far as like I'm going to pretend like I'm doing a spell on you yeah only to be like never mind god like what a badass it's so cool I love the scene I love uh uh durif in the scene as well too um and uh them kind of like looking or like watching like cutting cutting to like aragorn and and uh uh gimley uh just like all them kind of watching and like kind of being guarded or whatever I don't know it's just it's so riveting these like these kind of just simple scenes are just very very well helmed um helms deep yeah there you go it's home runs deep the Gandalf rides off and he says look for me at at the fucking place the fifth day yeah and um I like that uh uh so worm tongue goes back to sauron sauron or saurum saurum on uh goes back to him he's like yeah they're going they'll probably be going to helms deep like their place can't handle this shit so it's a long trek they'll have women and children and sauriman just like fuck it he's pretty pumped the war riders let's go get them hey why do they not what is the big deal about not killing worm tongue why is aragorn like no do not kill him like that's kind of fucked up that this man literally almost destroyed your entire kingdom and we're like let him go and now blood has been spilt on his behalf so let's make sure we spill his blood and that so that then then the blood shed then the blood shed will be ended there yeah because then sauriman won't really know that we're going to helms deep how devastating is it that worm tongue was able to return to sauriman and like give him this information it's pretty devastating so it's aragorn's fault that the war riders attacked people die in this attempt enough blood has been shed on his behalf let me take the responsibility of shedding blood yeah by leaving him be super weird oh don't kill him I don't know we're better men than this fuck that that dude that's why the age of men is falling that's right because you're not making good decisions a bitch man being a little bitch everyone can I can I propose that uh thayadin's one of my least favorite characters in this movie is that is that a hot take oh man I mean I don't think it's a hot take but he's just so damn stubborn about everything you know he just seems to like be going it's over it's over no matter what we do it's over every time there's a little bit of resistance he's just like we're fucked we're fucked I'm the I'm the last of my kin can't believe it can't believe it of all my ancestors I'm the one that's going to be here when Middle Earth is over well hey I have an idea maybe don't let a wizard basically just take over your brain it's like it like what you it's like it's like thayadin is the equivalent of somebody who's just like lost in their phone algorithm you know what I mean he's just going through the motions he's just like whatever he's only seeing doom and gloom because he accidentally clicked on something one time yep he's just doom he's just doom scrolling in his brain mount doom scrolling that's a gandalf doing constantly uh no man like one reason you could say though is he he's was clearly like taken over by sorrow mind and that's not great because you can see a moment where he's back to normal and gandalf's kind of like touching his arm from the side being like we need to do this and he's kind of like I've been here before yeah he's like I've been here before where somebody's telling me what to do and I don't like this that's a good point it seems to me is it like the takeover of sourmont and of his brain kind of left a stain and so like he is just a negative nailie I guess I guess it's I guess yeah you would be a little untrusting yeah in his position a little yeah apprehension the disposition of hope yes yes and and like yeah having that constantly in your brain it's like he just got over depression like really you know what I mean so yeah it's like coming out of a coma to like the end the world ending like god damn it I was just ending my world was ending and now the real world's ending yeah and then it is it is very sad like it's a very sad like sentiment about you know they buried a son and then he had this line where Bernard Hill was he said that he met a woman while he was in um uh on set for like another thing and a woman told him this told him that line and he wanted to work that line into this so he did it feels it doesn't feel out of place but it's not as like it's not as prose as a lot of the other stuff he's saying in this moment but it's still a really good sentiment yeah you've delivered very well scene three golem struggles with his split personality and briefly leans toward loyalty of to Frodo Frodo and Sam are captured by gondorian soldiers led by Farah Mir Boromir's brother elsewhere Aragorn and Thayedon's group are attacked by warg riders and Aragorn is knocked off a cliff and presumed dead he survives however and returns to Helms deep after witnessing Saruman's massive army marching towards them at the same time Elrond convinces Arwen to leave Middle Earth can we take one moment on Gollum and uh Andy Serkis I I kind of used to not really like Gollum because he's kind of gross and you're like he's so annoying but upon this rewatch I I truthfully believe that Gollum is one of the most interesting and well performed characters in movie history his his split personality the things he's dealing with the things he's going between loyalty and and like evil are insane and the fact that that Andy Serkis what did they say you you said he was only brought on to do like three weeks of voiceover yeah they just they just needed a voice actor that's it just voice over and of course he kills it his voice is iconic and all the little mannerisms he does but at the same time he was so good at it that they decided to completely rewrite like the way they're filming the movie and develop CGI technology to make him perform the character I don't know if this movie would be the same if they would have CGI'd this like just some fake creature kind of a thing no and the fact that there's there's test footage out there too of like what they what they were going to do it's not great because it's such an important character yeah and Peter Jackson was actively campaigning for Andy Serkis to get an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor and because the academy is such a stupid thing full of dumb people they forbid him to be nominated because it's he's not physically seen on screen it's what he might he may as well be like you like even in certain shots of like even close-ups of golem you can you can tell it's modeled after Andy Serkis' face yes well then you know yeah well then he should have been for a return of the king because he was oh my god they could have at least given it to him there yeah they could have done it there but they're like uh yeah but then but then they're just gonna limit it to that part of the performance and not the rest don't watch the rest of the movie just watch this one scene that's that is it's pretty messed up because his what he did is more important than any person in this entire series the fact that he like acted that way and was CGI captured and did the voice and was there on screen like with the people acting like I don't think this happens without him in Golem dude especially like the scene that I described earlier of like he's like chasing that fish or whatever and they're captured by Faramir and um or no like they they see him like we're gonna kill him look for him like yeah we're gonna kill him what do you think penalty of death don't kill him you'll you're you the audience is like no don't kill him especially at this point how fucked up is that because there's moments Sean we're like he's hilarious like this this stew scene yeah and when he's like the vinsten poo is nice and cool you're like you like really genuinely like this guy at times fat hobbit you know uh ruining ruining the raw rabbit making into a stew wet and wriggling he's gross the uh yeah no there it's you you genuinely is like he's almost cute at certain points this scene he brings the rabbit to him and he's going he's like he's very fun but then like yeah when he's especially the split personality kind of stuff you're just like and obviously the the way he looks and the way you like you feel like you can smell him the way he sounds is just all repulsive and as you're actively watching it you feel so many emotions watching him perform this way and I think that's why it works so much so well it's wild the the the big thing about him doing this I mean he's basically playing two different characters basically he's playing golem and next movie three characters basically like three and he I mean they they they did some very subtle things for him to be two different characters but it's so easy to tell sometimes because it's sandy circus I think I mean they they did some stuff with with golems eyes even I think his posture at times was a little more hunched over intense right when he's golem and then he's more like childlike when he's spiegel you know and he is like this is it's such a complicated character because there are times that you really do feel for him like you feel so bad for him but then you're right back on sam side just like you got to get rid of this dude and it's it's pretty on the nose of like the addiction sort of like angle you know yeah like this is how addicts act you know and like you feel bad for him but then you're like well stop acting like this yes you know like it's it's so difficult they can turn on the charm a little bit and make and then you'll give him that $50 bill yeah and then they'll go and become a piece of shit again kind of a thing like where's the thing where it's like should we just kill him I mean I'm not saying like human addicts I'm just saying as this as a representation of addiction itself you know like should we just get rid of it because it's only causing problems his life would be golem has had the worst life of anyone in this entire movie like let's end it and he's had a he's had a very I believe if I remember correctly he's had a pretty dang long life oh he's he's extremely long because the the creature of golem inside of him is like keeping him alive right and extending his life that's that's like what it is it's like what the ring is doing yeah it's what uh did to bilbo yep that's why bilbo looked so young for so such a long time and then but when we see him by the end of like uh return of the king he's aged so much yeah when this entire sequence of of the trek to mordor and like this entire the the whole series takes over takes a course over like 14 months or something like that or like almost like somewhere around a year so that's basically what it is and that's the difference of like the aging for bilbo even too just as the reference point it's an only font it's an only only fun and only fans it's a timothy alofonte it's an it's an only fans it's yeah it's fun the there's some stuff that kind of drags this movie along for me I will be honest did you watch the theatrical or did you watch six then okay um I'm like and I remember watching the the um the extended edition and being fine with it but I don't know I don't know why around this this time around like some of the live tether stuff was kind of dragging this movie along for me agreed um when they're having the battle of helms deep and cut to fucking trees dude like and honestly I like what gets to me the most about these movies as as a series in general is the and it's a part of the story I know and it's a part of the acting from Elijah wood but it's the it's the constant like I don't know like benevolence I guess or just like stupefied nature that that Elijah wood and the character Frodo has throughout the entire series of just like um all right let's go this way and Frodo's like no I'm gonna look this way and see stuff watch out I'm gonna I'm gonna fall down face first until yeah fall down all Frodo falls down no less than 20 times in this series it gets a little taxing man like I gotta be honest like every time whenever we cut back to these guys like Gollum is fascinating yes but Sam is fascinating yes Frodo man like it gets it's and I know it's it's like that like I said the add addiction like he's he's also becoming an addict you know or like trying to fight becoming Gollum and that's why they're such a dynamic kind of character duo I guess but it especially in this one it gets very tiring I don't know how you guys feel but it's like he's literally just a vessel for the ring it's like they had to put it on somebody somebody's gotta take this so just like let him roll on through you know what I mean but which also makes me even more irritated and upset when you have like some of the most I don't know like the strongest beings in the universe you have literally a guy who is brought back from the dead who just refuses to take an eagle up to the fucking mountain you know what I mean yeah it's just it's one of those things it's like you don't even know we have eagles until the very end of the of the return of the wait wait when do we get eagles we had eagles wait so the the ancient like heavenly being angel that is now the one of the most powerful people in the world right just take an eagle and just drop it in we gotta let fucking Frodo do it yeah I mean hey you gotta let him make his own mistakes it's like what the hell are you talking about no the fate of the fate of our entire world and existence like rests and is hinged on this ring that's around his neck I think we can make an exception here okay and and by the way I'm still talking about some of these other elves Elrond and what's the other girl's name lady of the wood Elrond Hubbard yeah and uh and and uh LRB Linda LRB uh tell tell them the lady of the wood that's lady woods whatever her name is yeah Kate Blanchett but they're like two of the most powerful beings in existence and they just refuse to do anything I think they want the age of men to be over it's the it's over for many ways it's a thing that Game of Thrones does with the fucking the fucking stupid ass fucking dude in the wheelchair and shit with the what is it the Raven fuck yeah the Raven guy what the fuck is his name the worst character in TV history it's like yeah it's it's a McGuffin where he's like he knows all he knows what's going to happen it's like why am I watching this okay then what the heck why didn't you just tell us that's what it is like these these like elves who can do anything I was like yeah well I know what's gonna happen and like this is it's it's I don't like this in storytelling where it's like there's the mage who who like knows what's going to happen but I can't I can't tell you because you got to go through the journey yourself like shut the fuck up if you want any of this to survive yeah god damn you Sean I was thinking about rewatching Game of Thrones and now I don't want to fuck that guy just because of that character hey I go no I'm after watching him again no that's and that's what I mean I think I think Elrond Elrond Hubbard is is an absolute excuse me no go ahead that's how he got his name yeah Christ dude don't fucking do your research I've looked at it do you read the notes I got the dictionaries the dictionaries the encyclopedias I got the entire Britannica uh no I I just think like like Elrond is just like oh you have the gift of foresight like you're saying and we you've seen what happens right and it's just like and then it's kind of like okay well how did they they're talking about how like he Frodo's gonna fail or something or whatever it is and you just it's like you Elrond Elrond you could just literally do the same thing you could take some magic elf dust and jump over there the guy the guy is agent Smith he is he is of he is he's agent Smith of Middle Earth yep same thing he's just he's just like an expired earlier version of the Matrix yeah well yeah instead of him being like a security that he's just like an expired thing of like McAfee security you know what I mean he just doesn't really do much apparently yeah he just pops up every now and again and just says hey you got a problem here do you want to do anything about it I don't know how to fix it I can't do anything for you but if you want thanks McAfee get the fuck out of here that's what that's what he deals with that's what he is and it's just so frustrating a couple more things that shot of Legolas getting on the horse bugs the fuck out of me yeah like I don't quite understand how somebody was like we're just gonna leave that because that's not how that works it like you can see it almost like clipping the CGI is like kind of yeah it's a little out of whack that guy got fired another thing there is a in the extended version there is a flashback here where Faramir Boramir and their father have have there's like this you realize the dynamic of that family and how shitty that that dad is and why Faramir is acting the way he is it's it's a worthwhile scene to watch that kind of sets up a little bit more of what Faramir is feeling yeah but I know that's not part of the original books they just kind of made that up so they sort of said who cares yeah I mean I think it gives good context and in the same vein I guess it would have been the only the only amount we would have seen of the steward of gondor you know in this movie and then it would so I understand why it wouldn't why it didn't make the theatrical cut but I do agree with you I think it's a pretty important thing and we got the return of Sean Bean um scene mean which is just being a badass too oh yeah yeah and just just getting beers for all of his buds after they just won a battle son let's go I got you boys he's like yes bring bring the big growth yes neighborhood last question of the scene for you like uh they when this is where Liv Tyler's having to make her decision about and her dad's dude do I not also have your love but she like what what do you think the right call is if you're going to be an elf if you can just go to the undying lands and live forever or if you can choose like a mortal life of love with Aragorn if he survives if he survives yeah we don't even know if he's gonna survive maybe okay maybe I was trying to put this into some sort of questionable thing like that because we we don't have immortality so it's we can't make that decision so I tried to move it into something that is more reasonable and I think it's the decision between having kids and not having kids sure not not having kids is basically being immortal and living in the undying lands and doing whatever you want to do and being sick healthy and longevity forever and and choosing to have kids is basically planning the end of your life and it'll be faster than it would have been but you get to experience the human joys of like things that you wouldn't experience if you were an elf people always tell me that having kids is the most selfish act that you could do selfish yeah that's strange no I know they're dumb yeah that's the weirdest fucking thing I've ever heard that's actually the most wrong statement I've ever heard anyone ever can you tell me who said that off air I can yeah good because um holy shit I'm gonna have to unfriend them and just never talk to them again because that makes no sense yeah I feel like I feel like hearing that I I just everyone in this room is now dumber I I was I was debating on whether or not to say it I've been waiting I've been waiting like five years having kids is the most selfish thing you can still doesn't make any sense to me was it are you sure is that an original thought is did you say that no I didn't okay okay no okay people have said that people have said that okay old elvish Mike would have maybe thought at least given it a little bit of thought as she's as she's like leaving um agent Smith is looking down at her like with disgust like she looks back or like up at him and like I don't know if it's just you go weaving his face but he's just like he's just dude he she made she chose your love yeah he's uh he's he's just in a constant age of disgust that was what he is just a just constant mode of disgust he's like I nothing is right for him you can't he there's no right in for him in this scenario so scene four in a surprise move elven warriors arrived to aid Rohan the battle begins and the orokai breach the fortress walls using explosive charges the defenders are pushed back step by step suffering heavy losses including the death of the elven commander hall dear inside the fortress the situation becomes desperate as the enemy breaks through the gates meanwhile tree beard tree breared initially refuses to go to war but after seeing saruman's destruction of the forest he rallies the ends to attack isengard we did have the the warg battle on the way here too is there anything you want to say about that it's I think it's like the first sort of real like battle that we get um of this movie I guess yeah and it's it's just so cool I like I love in like medieval movies I guess the like charge you know it's just so dope um but the way he shoots it is like he's shooting the people on real horses pans over to like the the wargs and then like pans over just slightly as they all collide there's like no music here too it's it's just it's just badass their choices throughout this movie to not have music is exceptional like when the when the later on when they're waiting for the them to show up and it's dead silence and you hear the the guy pushes the door and it goes you can hear a pin drop even even the sounds of their their armor when that when the rain and shit too it's so good when that one or it goes oh and then like the smoke comes out it's epic dude how dare you make that so awesome um the the warg the warg rider scene I do want to touch on too uh just a smidge because um this is like it's the first time I think well maybe not the first time but I think a major time of when there's so much more stake than just like our heroes around so everything feels much more dire because of the women and the children and you get this kind of great back and forth of uh Theoden and Aowyn of them uh you know well I want to fight but no I like that's not what I need you to do that's such a trope though like the yeah it is oh it's it's so tropey you know right away like oh well she's gonna fight at some point so okay so she wants to fight huh just like she said to I feel nor death nor pain it's like oh okay you sure are you sure because I like you did you see those these wargs this is until you feel pain or death yeah I'd be fearless of it too yeah I've watched my three-year-old just do some weird shit man fucked up shit I can I can make that jump until you can't until he can't and you're like how well hey buddy we figured it out right yeah and then so but anyways um yeah a good back and forth there is a bit of a trope at the same time it's just like would you just listen for one time just just go and do the thing I just I need you to do this one thing it might be the most important job of all of us literally is the most important job can you please just fucking do it it's the whole reason we're we're making this trek will you please complete the task like what now you're the leader I know what an entire city yeah at the moment so get them I will probably die which means you are now the next in command yeah then you can make all decisions you want then you can go fight Jesus Christ um makes it a little bit more impactful later but the main guy I didn't know this until like a fairly current rewatch but the main guy who who like stops Gandalf and them at the at the door the first time and he asked for the staff yeah okay that guard um so that guy he's the one who gets like eaten by the war yep like first and foremost that guy's name is Hama and Hama is the father of the boy that talks to Aragorn at Helms deep oh wow okay so he says Haleth son of Hama I could never understand what the kid was saying yeah and then he says Hama and it's like Aragorn realizes okay that's just like makes that conversation just a little bit more impactful oh cool you know what I mean Aragorn's our king man he's our leader yeah he's he's bred for that shit and he knew it's like Hama was the first one out during the war is he like someone someone's actual son on set yeah he was yes I saw that someone's son was actually that kid yeah and I don't remember who was great podcasting there great piece of podcasting we just did what great content I sure could look it up if you really want to know no fuck it good who was hella son of Hama who was the actual I don't know how you even type it I can't do it it's too late we thought you saw the uh should we talk about the ends a little bit set them up first and foremost we're talking about golem how they went through this whole big thing of like you know the CGI than the efforts that's put in like a single frame apparently could take like like a couple of hours to actually render apparently a frame of tree beard could take up to 48 hours to render it's quite a lot a frame I didn't realize until this time and I was just taken by it to at this time around but the voice of tree beard and like the all the effects and layers they have on it is just so there's something so comforting and it works so well it does sound like he's talking through a beard how that like that sort of tone it's almost like a pop filter in itself of talking through a beard is or like a beard full of moss it looks it like sounds like that's an ancient voice I don't know it just works so well for tree beard and I did not know that was John Rhys Davies I know I actually I didn't either until this time they yeah they which makes perfect sense but yeah and I I just they even said like they didn't really change it yeah they just hey just say the talk the lowest you can talk lowest voice you can give us and he did and they'd like I mean sure they did a little something over the top of it but shit um but yeah he you're right he's just sounds he sounds like his mouth has not opened for like 70 years it's it's like the rock guy in never ending story that eats the rocks or whatever yeah yeah I forget what that one's called but like his his always felt like his voice always felt like that sounds a guy who eats rocks yeah you know I don't know no totally uh there the crazy thing that you realize about why this story is so incredible is like how many villains there are in these films like at any given point you've got Saran Saruman the orcs the orokai golem uh the king some of the men like the king and the next one no whatever his douchebag name is like yeah there are mirror right you've you've got all these just like terrible scary villains all in their own right and it's just like culminates in this where you're just like the tension's out of control in this movie by this point yeah and like especially like the lead up to to Helms deep battle like they they are all especially the king is just like we're fucked like we're like we talked about like it's fuck this dude like let's let's not even get our armor on let's go out quick so tell me he caught this he goes he's doing his self loathing like he's like do you trust your king to the guy and he goes your men would follow you to whatever end like but what about you because he says do you trust he goes your men would follow you like basically that guy's like no I actually I know a little too much of what your personality is right now I know I work for you I didn't vote for you I do not trust you your men they'll do whatever you say me no fucking clue right now just like do you trust me I I just put the armor on you know you know it's like yeah but you didn't answer you didn't answer the questions like when he says it just makes me think like what he says oh yeah it's like yeah your men would follow it's like that's not an answer oh I'm getting I'm getting a phone call you did it what's a phone what just kind of it's just kind of I just don't know about Thayden in this whole round like even the whole like he goes down there to the gate and he's like he stabs the one guy and then gets stabbed and two seconds later he's back out of there again it's just it's just theatrics of being king and yeah he's a tough old bird I know really so I'm a good fighter he's not a great fighter I didn't know what series are great fighter do you guys get the feeling that elves that the elves men don't have cocks yes okay because they don't there's something about like who who like kind of floats while traveling it just seems like they they aren't carrying much yeah yeah it's like there's not enough there's not much throwing off their stride you know what I mean like when they arrive especially especially like the the head guy he's like hey what's up even like Aragorn hugs him and he's like yeah that was completely asexual I don't know something about it's like yeah we'll fight I don't really care elves are like my least favorite of the realm like I know I know they have super awesome powers and shit but they're just like it's a thing man it makes kind of boring it makes me wonder like how powerful is like Legolas like Legolas is is just like a very powerful being and it seems like he's almost kind of undersold he's like a Scotty Pippin because Aragorn is Michael George right you know what I mean Aragorn were to die then he would just be the dopest being alive yeah he would have been just that right but he would have been it would have been air fucking Pippin yeah air Pippin air Pippin exactly yeah and I not not the not the lord of the rings character Pippin that yeah Scotty Pippin it's a little so yes that's where he did get his well you know okay uh yep 90s bowls is Aragorn basically yeah that's it well if Aragorn is Jordan then he also has flashbacks like longer than Frank Dokes because like he just he just lives in his own world most of the time until he's got to actually fight I think that's that's I'm just gonna load there there was a deleted scene when Aragorn finally gets back and he's kind of just losing his mind about the war and Legolas is like dude you gotta get some sleep like yeah we're about well you were basically dead for a couple days and now you're just 100 cured now that you saw an army with your eyes that cured and and you haven't slept and you sober you up imagine I'm so dead oh fuck I'm not dead shit lock in and so he hasn't slept he's got pretty bad wounds and he's about to fight the most epic battle of all time which is if you think about it from an old man human perspective I'm like these guys are gonna have no strength in fact even the orcs they just marched for like seven days without stopping how are they gonna have energy to fight this battle yeah you got a camp for a minute you just a little bit if you ever played like a civilization you got to let your army rest you can't just march him you know a thousand miles and then expect him to fight ready yeah just don't off maggity bread yeah come on you got to feed him something this is I mean it's Helms deep time right it's Helms deep time the the approaching army is like we said so fucking sick the location of this like it's just like sort of like in the nook of a mountain and it looks so small even compared to like the orcs and the Uruk-hai arriving but just so bad ass like it's like this is all all night shoots and like what did I say it took like fucking like three months three months to just do yeah I've got the exact thing for you it's three months to shoot this and they said four month period and it was edited down from 20 hours of footage it's like a whole movie in itself is what they shot here um but like even like all of it's it's so exciting like you could it could just be a battle but there's so many like layers to it because like there's the build up to it and then there's the the guy the premature shooting the arrow you know um and then there's like the like more arrows and stuff you're like man they have a chance and then they start sending them the ladders when he goes this all you have yeah this is all you have saw him on it's like oh we're gonna win this yeah ask and you shall receive theodin um yeah like you said yeah the the small ladders then the giant ladders to the top like they were fucking the battering rams the bomb like we saw we saw the tease of the bomb earlier I guess but the kamikaze orc just flying into there that's terrifying kamikaze Uruk-hai I just I wrote that down as a band name kamikaze kamikaze or or a kai kamikaze or a kai kamikaze or a kai can you write a song on the next album called kamikaze or a kai or a kamikaze or a kai or a kai I think I had it right yeah I think he nailed it I thought about it and I didn't have it I'm sorry yeah I'm pretty confident in that yeah you should be yeah like you know what I mean like it's it could just be like a normal just like battle but there's there's so many layers because like then the then like the wall gets blown up you know they have to deal with that um they're they're like at the gates and it's the whole gimli and aragorn thing or he's like don't don't tell the elf that you threw me or whatever you know like there's and like I don't know like chime in I guess because it's just I it's it's one of the best battle scenes of in all of cinema because there's so much to it and they keep they keep bringing your hopes up and letting them down bringing your hopes up and letting them down where you think even when they get there and they he tosses them in there on the thing they're like hey they're gonna get it all battered up one second later they bust through the gate after this whole scene of them like saving the gate so they can shore it up it just oh cool they did it no they did not even close like they're not going to win this battle yeah this is basically the alamo guys yeah okay that's basically the alamo um it's where it's where jair or tolkin actually got the inspiration from it's not I have no idea if that's true the shires like Iowa you see middle earth no uh you can't do it no the like the whole battle scene of of of these guys coming through and like you say shon like it's just this constant up and down I think honestly the best the best thing about it is how they actually inject these little bits of comedy and I'm not saying it's that they inject them I'm just saying how because there are the moments of like like gimli and legolas going back and forth for who's killed the most guys that's that's funny that's a funny thing I guess do you think it's funny though I mean I don't think it's like laugh out loud funny it's like oh they're they're they're they're becoming buds you know or yeah it's entertaining it's like uh same thing with that the wall he's like oh do you want me to describe it to you or should I get you a box like that kind of stuff um I'm I'm I think it's I think it's put in there very well so it doesn't distract you from like what's really going on but that's my problem with it is like this is the biggest war of middle earth has ever seen and we're like oh I can get you a box I'm like dude I'm fucking invincible son I'm fucking legolas I'm gonna invent snowboarding during this battle so I don't be fucking sick I don't even get fucking split ends okay I'm good dog these guys are scared fuck it I think these moments are like they're they're needed in in a because it is in in in the realm of like fantasy you know and so there should be like an injection of like sort of humor or levity I guess I think because like I don't know there there's it's it's all encompassing entertainment at that point where it's just it's there's a battle scene there are stakes to it like there's women and children being hidden and they're trying to get to the women and children it seems you know but then like also thinking about it like in in legolas and and border uh gimley shoes I guess is like I mean if all hope is lost like I guess we'll just fight some fun maybe have maybe have a good time while we're doing it that's that's kind of how I see it and then like especially when legolas is doing the surfboard or the the boarding down the stairs and shooting people it's just like fuck it's so sick it just feels a little like marvel to me in the sense of like we have to inject comedy into our you just had to use that fucking word I'm just trying to get him on my side it feels like a marvel movie doesn't it where they're like don't let him pander don't let him do that you do not penetrate anything Helms deep yeah shot shot his helmet right now I'm a kamikaze orc with a flame of marvel going I got this ah shit didn't work how about the unnecessary will helm scream like the most unnecessary one of those unnecessary as fuck it's like the loudest one I've ever heard it's so fucking loud I I do have to say that Helms deep so my brother my brother bob when he would just he he described this movie he went and he saw the movie first when he was stationed at home when he stationed at Helms deep I went and visited him no sorry they were rebuilding well at that time it was peacetime they were just basically security so uh no uh it was like like he would describe the movie to me and he this is when he started to tell me like oh yeah like uh well I mean you know they all die right and I'm like what no what yeah he's like yeah dude they they all I mean they all get kind of taken out in their own way and he's I'm like are you serious he's like I was like well what happens to kimmy because he's my favorite he's like it's like it's a one of those big troll things got him man or whatever I'm like what about legless arrows he died by this you know died by arrows and stuff I was like what about air going is like you fell fell off the cliff and stuff yeah I'm like ah and then I watched the movie I was like they didn't fucking die and I was like dude and yeah he would just do that shit to me all the time that's that was a little insight into my life guys it's fucking awful be straight up with you I'm really mad at your brother that's really shitty but then he's like nah dude he's like they all live it's like well don't tell me that either oh a great story like monsters inc stays with you forever and disney plus is where you'll find your next great story from the return of the award-winning hit series rivals welcome to the naughtiest show on television to the unmissable crime drama high potential gotta dead body gotta go a lifetime of great stories awaits this spring on disney plus 18 plus subscription required t's and c's apply final scene aragorn leads a desperate charge at dawn just as gandalf returns with aromere and reinforcements turning the tide of the battle simultaneously the ens attack eisengard flooding it crippling sorrowman's power back in gondor faramir brings froto towards osgill where an osgill nearly captures i guess the one word i don't know but sam's loyalty helps snap froto out of the ring's influence realizing the danger faramir releases them to continue their mission as froto and sam press on with golem his darker side resurfaces hell yeah let's talk about that shon though because this battle um from the minute that first arrow goes to the end of this it's a 36 minute long scene which is so impressive except for the fact that they keep cutting back to the tree now they i feel like they could have set it up a little bit better to where the the tree attack was in the middle of this yeah instead of all the cutbacks to the talking and then the attack yeah it just sort of takes you away a little bit when you're really thinking about it really does and i can't like i can't like come up with an excuse for it other than like jackson is can't help himself but like yeah this is really exciting right i'm i'm also kind of funny in a jokester so how about literally trees talking to each other slow talking more peter that's not a funny joke yeah exactly i feel like it really takes away from it yeah i feel like uh this is mike's nightmare having to sit around like these tree guys talk just like trying to figure out a decision it is what do you uh think we should do and moat is what the word a sphincter is as what for what we have made the decision to do it's your i'm extremely pissed off just from you're trying to recreate this when do we record next meanwhile all these ants are so cool cutback what it's it's i love i love the ants and i love their battle here like when they actually go in there it's so fucking cool yeah destroying that town and stomping on the orcs and flooding it but the act of getting there is just so hard to get through sometimes pippin and mary but pippin especially like how does this guy have the patience that guy looks like he's just a bouncing knee of anxiety you know i mean he's just like constantly like oh yeah well we can just go and do this we can do that it's like how is he the one who's like calm during this shit it kind of blows my mind i do remember bob saying because i think he read the books about how yeah there's just a lot of like them going through the forest and it's just like it's it's mind-numbing almost to read what he wrote and like to watch it is borderline mind-numbing yeah i feel like a burning ant as well could be like um great band name well that but also like the epitome of like a weapon upon a weapon because like if you're on fire yeah if you're on fire like if you if you get lit on fire and you're an ant you're so big how about if you stop drop and roll one you could survive you could put yourself out but also take out a shit ton of orcs along the way yeah you're a rolling fiery log yeah that's what you want i did really like to see him literally put himself out though that's i was that was cool really really to see that thank god oh good okay good the water got to him but by the way like the mountain the way and here's the thing and this is what i'll say about like some of the sets maybe i'll just kind of say this as an overarching thing because i kind of feel this way when they're going to edoras like the the um rohan kingdom you know not helms deep but like when they're kind of coming up on that it looks like it's just a small town almost you know like helms deep looks pretty massive and and like majestic but then you have like this where it's like it's like a weird perspective you see the tower of eisingard right and the dam that they're talking about like from the mount it's like it's all the way like miles and miles away you know what i mean but then it seems like it's right there once they undo it so it's just there's like some weird i don't know spatial awareness for me that throws me off every now and again while i'm going through this movie i don't know i am i the only way i can see that but um to me like i guess like the character um motivation for it is like it is maybe supposed to look a little like like raggedy i guess uh eisingard is because it's like he uh saurumon is like trying to copy everything that sauron did you know so he's like i'm gonna put my own tower you know i'm gonna there's water here so i gotta make a fucking dam so it looks like undone it looks like not it's like the death star being built that's true you know what i mean yeah yeah well and then you get that incredible moment when they're you know it's pretty much all is lost here at helms deep and they decide to ride out and that's when the coming of gandalf coming down that hill with that side and you kind of forget it they're coming down and the orcs are like we got you dude and then that sun blasts behind them oh yeah maybe one of the more epic shots of the entire series so badass i think it is still the king is like so much death what can men do against so much hate it's like we we did a we did a shit on actually yeah if we just keep trying that was actually a really i mean we destroyed about 10 000 orcs so um pretty pretty good right and by the way there's another passage why didn't you guys just tell us there's another we could have gone another way we could have barred it up and then just taken off i mean come on it's like is there no other way it's like well there is one passage and now you tell me yes like that's the whole idea like that was another frustration where it's just like seems to be jr tolka's thing of just like let's do all this shit and then tell him that there's another a better way to do it anyways yeah you know what i mean i that that's the kind of stuff that does get i get tired of almost throughout this whole throughout the whole series of lord of the rings but it's probably one of the only things i get tired of yeah we're nitpicking quite a bit absolutely i mean like we i don't know if we said it on there but like these are three masterpieces like it just you know it's like picking and choosing like what what's your darling is you know yeah like and who the hell am i to criticize honestly like the way that these movies are put together these these are just monstrous feats of like cinema you know the sets the actors like the everything on the other hand we don't have to justify being critics like that we don't i will but i also don't your yes um like yeah i and it's you're right it's one of the best shots of the entire series like this that light coming in yeah and then coming down the hill just side of the black and then like the kind of reddish light coming down the hill it's so good so did you hear what how do you say that name that they this is where now Frodo and Sam are at this final town where Ozgi Ozgilloth Ozgilloth how do you say that town us yeah Osgilith or something Osgillith Osgillith well there so did you hear that like in the books this is not a this is not a scene they never went there oh yeah and this was something that Peter Jackson wanted to write in for some reason or another and it seems to be a bit controversial that this even happens for like the the ultra nerds but there's a really not cool nod to it though is because Sam says by rights we shouldn't even be here which is like implying a nod that we deviated and we never actually went through this town i love that so much that's pretty good but it is almost the perfect ending you can feel how forced it is though because that Nazgul shows up with the Wraith and and Frodo's like and he's going to put it on and he Sam pulls him down and a couple people shoot arrows at this Nazgul and then like we're done it's all good this was like a active battle scene with some of the scariest creatures on earth and then it's just like now we can have a conversation like you came up with this just to stage like the the Faramere kind of thing maybe yeah and that's it and because they made up the whole thing about Faramere being this kind of lesser than brother that wasn't worthy of his father they sort of made that up too which is a big plot point in return yeah i was gonna say i think and and maybe god i'm so sorry if i'm wrong about that but i thought i read that okay this is where the only spot where i feel like we end up cutting back to these places and i'm just like it's just we're in another place that just seems absolutely inhabitable but there's people habitating keep in mind meanest tirith is just like right there yeah and they purposely made sure to not show it in the background because people would be confused they're like well what's that place yeah we haven't even gotten there yet you know and so it does it just feels like it's like every time they cut to isengard and the pits and stuff like that i'm just like it makes me uncomfortable because i'm like where do you sit down you know what i mean yeah this is another one of those places where i'm just like where do you sit where do you where do you take a rest well i do believe because they say it earlier and earlier in the movie like they're they're hitting they're hitting this place first and they're moving on to rohan yeah and stuff and so that's like what this remnants like this is already like battle written yeah okay and so like people have evacuated already and shit um and i do i will say that like especially like uh is it carl or no it's um what's his face who's in the 300 movies and is like the oh the voice of ultimate warrior what uh wet weyman yeah david wenheim wenheim uh as as faramir uh they like his group does seem like like we've been on the front lines for like this whole thing you know like you know in war movies when like the your main characters reach reach the guys who have been going through the the they're just the brutal battle that it's like yeah whatever you know they kind of seem like that and i do appreciate it gets to vietnam and the guys taking a shit uh lieutenant dan's just like whatever you get this and have that apocalypse now when they run into the the guy with the the grenade launcher gun and he's like yep i just do this every day kind of shit i like that about the these rohan they are they're they're the rangers you know they're not the foot soldiers standing in lines and rows and armor and stuff they're the rangers then they're out there just literally doing rangership yeah yeah bit of a let down after the after this incredible battle and but then you get sam speech and i love sam speech here which was i guess not in the book either it was all kind of written for this but it's perfect like all the stories we read like this is this is going to be one of them yep you know yeah it's a great note on top of this like just a cherry on top to kind of finish this up and you also kind of get the uh the the um the tea is almost for you know golem's gonna kill her talking about her and you're like what the fuck is this creature that we're talking about yeah yeah it's i mean it's a great you you know you're already signed up for the third one but right all right let's go yeah yeah yeah anything else but you always want to talk about two towers well my friends we have dissected this movie scene by scene it's time to give it our modern ratings we're gonna etch this in stone you can see the ratings of all the other movies we've done at confusedbreakfast.com also support the show directly by going to patreon.com slash confused breakfast great perks you get to vote on upcoming movies direct access to us in the discord weekly bonus audio episodes and our top tier little labowski urban achiever tier gets your reviews red on air before we drop our scores a j i know we got three uh looks like three little abouse gear's in there i got you first one you get second one you got it so i paid this is brinn reese 90 so i paid on this tier because of this film medieval fantasy has always been my jam before fellowship i had no knowledge of lord of the rings this film finalized the obsession i watched it at least once a year ulysses cut good man the scenes from gimley legolas and aragorn keep you entertained throughout the cinematography is the reason i went traveling to new zealand a few years later helms deep gives you the best battle scene of all time also made me appreciate classical music prop he wants the uh the ends holy water to make me taller nostalgic 10 modern 10 straight up wow uh kana wilson i had this to say my friends and i went to the midnight showing of all three lord of the rings movies yes it felt like an eternity to wait a year in between each release only one year only one year though crazy um we we still haven't gotten uh house the dragon it's like saw movies it's fucking awesome wild sun um but our anticipation would get so high but we were never let down each movie also meant an endless new set of quotes which are still said to this day with my personal favorite from this one being uh what's tager's precious precious uh the battle at helms deep so epic this is definitely a nostalgic 10 my love of these movies hasn't wavered each time i finished the last one i kind of want to watch them all again even with the extended editions making it all about 12 hours wow which means a modern 10 for me as well my prop would be gandalf's fancy new white staff nice and scuba steve said when you reviewed fellowship of the ring i stated that it was my favorite movie of all time and it is but so is the two towers and so is the return of the king yeah this part two of of a three parter that have always looked at is one movie like the first this is pure magic one of the things i find sad about modern movies doing everything with cg is the loss of the physical craftsmanship that makes movies like lord of the rings what they are other than maybe christopher nolyn no one does movies like this anymore no one does these massive sets anymore no one does miniatures like this anymore no one has hundreds of extras and costumes and armor like this anymore it makes me appreciate the lord of the rings a bit more every passing year like fellowship it's the same as it's always been nostalgic 10 modern day 10 prop photo photo sword sting nice call shawnt i'm gonna go to you man uh what do you think about this whole thing now believe it or not i do like fellowship more than i like the two towers i gave fellowship what kind of crazy right man your guys reaction is genuine as fuck what the i gave fellowship 9.2 i fuck i i love that movie so much um and you know these reviewers are right like these people are the they were on the show for a reason these i do see these movies as like one thing and but when you have to break them up like like they're on their releases you know uh i think this probably and i'd have to go i'd have to we have to do return obviously but fellowship is is better in my eyes so but i mean like i the thing that my criticisms is like the Frodo stuff really kind of gets to me there's some things that take away from even like the the best parts of this movie the helm's deep i do kind of feel like this is sort of like a an in between movie to get to return you know and we're just injecting helms deep as like but this but like you can't forget about this one because of helms deep you know it's one of the best action sequences we've ever gotten for sure it does not make the the movie better though like it does not make the movie as good as fellowship for me unfortunately um there are some things that take away from even in helms deep as we discussed you know um but it's it's still great it's still like it's it doesn't mean it's a bad movie whatsoever um but uh i'm gonna have to go uh i'm gonna i'm gonna go 8.1 on this 8.1 for Sean AJ what about you i understand why why fellowship i think is probably better for a lot of people i i really do because i think that there's a lot more going on i think there's uh there's like there's more to the world that we get to really see um more is taking place everything's getting started you get to see everything from the shire to you know the towns that they travel through um and you get some crazy battle scenes right i think i think sorry what it is for me is like the group like Gandalf everybody like the fellowship yeah that's what's most fun for me i love it so much but yeah yeah and that's that's split up in this one that's kind of the bummer for me is the idea that they get split up so fast you know the fellowship only lasts for like i don't know it feels like only so long until it's done you know and we're off into our own tangents and but i feel like this movie stepped it up even further when it came to the sets and like and like the the costuming and like everything that went into these we we talk about like the amount of horses that were used in this the amount of extras that were used it's a it's a marvel i think it was steve uh scuba steve said that each passing year i feel like i like it more i appreciate it more and i feel like that's such a rare thing to be able to say and to to i really hold true to because every year we're passing and it's getting more and more cgi and somehow this still stands the test of time whereas some old other movies they don't you know eventually it shows its age so i'm really interested to see when lord of the rings finally shows its age as far as the two towers goes i think it is slightly better than what uh fellowship is i gave that a 9.35 i'm going to give this a 9.4 9.4 from age um i was uh i was an 8.81 on fellowship a little lower than both you guys but i think the reason is is that this this trilogy is truly one movie for me and when you individually want to look at each of them under a microscope it pulls away a little bit it it takes a bit away from the overarching of the whole thing um i two towers was was fine it's it's an incredible movie it deserves to be among the top 15 of all time on imdb but when when you're looking at it as just a regular movie among this trilogy it's it's my least favorite of the three there's just enough in there that just like shan said the kind of Frodo starts getting to me at this point help everybody calls helms deep like one of the best battles ever but i don't know if i necessarily agree i might think the return of the king stuff's better after really watching it on this one so i return to the kings my number one and i don't know how truly high i'm going to go on that when we get to it but um i'm just going to come down just a little bit i'm going to be an 8.7 on this one uh dylan mix says watching now without the benefit of nostalgia our franchise reverence is a reminder that great filmmaking and great storytelling are not always the same thing this is an incredibly skillful movie often thrilling and super visually commanding but is also unmistakably a middle portion it is a film built to sustain momentum more than to stand fully on its own yes peter jackson expands the world with confidence darkens the tone raises the stakes and the result is a blockbuster of extraordinary scale but for all its craft it sometimes feels more of a set piece assembly than lived in the best parts of this film are golem and the spectacle golem remains the film's most interesting and chaotic presence not just as a technical achievement but because because of the motion capture but as the one character who feels genuinely unstable conflicted and alive he brings tension and unpredictability to a movie otherwise filled with a kind of wooden sense there's not even a tree beard joke of noble speeches helms deep meanwhile is still a staggering piece of action filmmaking it's coherent heavy and patient in its buildup jackson understood how to make a battle feel physical and desperate rather than merely loud and intense where the film looks weaker through a modern lens is it is in its emotional texture outside of golem many of the characters feel less like fully developed people and more like representatives of ideas like fate honor or hope the cross-cutting storylines keep the film moving but they also keep it at a distance rarely allowing scenes to breathe long enough to build a deeper intram intimacy the movie's often beautiful but it can also be stiff its moral seriousness gives it grandeur yet that same seriousness can flatten the human messiness that makes fantasy feel truly grounded it deserves praise for its ambition atmosphere and technical execution and it still delivers images and sequences that many modern blockbusters cannot match but stripped of cultural memory and built in affection it plays less like a masterpiece and more like a superbly masterfully made bridge between stronger beginning and ending chapters it is powerful often exhilarating and undeniably important and like its two trilogy mates stands the test of time but it is probably the weakest of the three modern day rating 8.69 punchable face jack white as grimoire tongue prop get his profits gandalf's new staff i sure would deprive i sure would deprive an old man of his walking stick because i got a bad hip and i wanted to be my walking stick dibs that's a that's you nailed that one so an 8.69 takes us as a group to an 8.8 if you go to the movies we have done final ratings and 8.8 is going to put this in the 18th spot we do think that snatch seven in the goodies are better movies but we think this is better than fight club reservoir dogs the shining and the fellowship of the ring fellowship is an 8.72 and this is an 8.8 wow okay they have spoken two towers as a group is better you guys what do you think about that all right yeah that's fine yeah a reviewer there said said everything that i think pretty much more beautifully that i could have a totally agree with you this seems that it definitely seems like a bridge from one great movie to another yeah very well said well we hope you enjoyed the episode thanks for being here tune in next week as we do a movie called after hours followed by 2002's spider man also if you're new to the show go back this time last year born identity it's a good one it didn't make our uh sequel list this year but it's okay because you've seen one he's kind of seen one of them is good we're good thanks to Logan on the controls here at upload media group and cedar avas learn more at upload media group com i'm stupid a reminder after hours we are doing after hours if you haven't seen after hours please watch it before you before you listen have you checked for a streaming service yet so i think you can get on amazon prime but uh shan sey and don't sleep it's my it's my favorite scores easy so if you haven't seen it please watch it before we review it and thank you to our network cloud 10 cloud 10.fm that's it for us goodbye bye ever gonna talk a tumble he washed up on the show horsey geese him kisses over the gives him kisses and he takes him to the house i'm in the kitchen with charlie bigam so what have we got here charlie my brand new pan fry pad thai noodles noodles but you're mr fish pie guy guilty and while ovens rule at roasting the pan is king of noodling whether it's pad thai yaki sabre or laxa finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole but all i have to do is stir it in the pan for six minutes right bingo try the new charlie bigam's asian pan fry noodle range handmade in my kitchen pan fried in yours i'm in the kitchen with charlie bigam so what have we got here charlie my brand new pan fry pad thai noodles noodles but you're mr fish pie guy guilty and while ovens rule at roasting the pan is king of noodling whether it's pad thai yaki sabre or laxa finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole but all i have to do is stir it in the pan for six minutes right bingo try the new charlie bigam's asian pan fry noodle range handmade in my kitchen pan fried in yours