Midwest Nice, Leave the ICE

This is exactly right. People who didn't do what John F. Quad wanted them to do, they usually disappeared. John of God was once Brazil's most famous spiritual healer. But in this limited series podcast, we uncover the darker truth behind his global empire of faith and fear. From exactly right and a Thunday media, this is Too Faced, John of God. Listen on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey Melissa. How's it going? How are you? Good. It was a crazy day. I had court and I had jury duty. So I'm like, I was on both sides of justice. Let me guess. I didn't choose you. Did they? No they did. And you know what I love to say, I told you so. It's just like prom. She did tell me so she always tells me I told you so. I always do. I thought it would be quick to hop good to hop on Zoom really quick just before this episode and do a quick PSA quick announcement. Yeah. That the episode that is airing, we recorded the day before Alex Freddie was murdered. So you're going to hear this episode. I mean, we address ICE. We talk about DHS. We talk about what's happening in America, but it was literally the day before he was murdered and shot 10 times by federal DHS officers. So I thought it was important that you and I get on a quick call and just sort of make that announcement before people listen to this episode. I want them to just not be listening and like wondering why. We're not addressing it. It literally happened the day before we couldn't have, but we thought it was important for us to do this tonight so that you guys would understand that it was just information that we didn't have at the time. Yeah, it happened that we recorded the day before the shooting. So yeah, I thought it would be good for you and me to just chat about it really briefly before we jump into the episode. The episode is very relevant. So please stick around. I'm not going to be right before we jump in. I'm happy to discuss. I mean, I'm not happy to discuss, but I'm open to discussing what's kind of happening right now and what's changed in the past six days since we were in the studio, which is wild to think about. I mean, it's like, it's like we talk about, you know, it's all changing really quickly. And faster than I think we can keep up with it. You know, I know what we had talked about when we had talked about Renee good. I know I had said to you, I wonder what it's going to take right isn't going to take a straight white Christian man and I don't know whether Alex is straight or Christian or anything. But you know, here we are. A white man was murdered on the streets of Minneapolis and the initial reaction of this administration was to put the blame directly on him the same way that he did immediately immediately. He was no investigation. No, you have the footage. It was just immediate response. Yeah, it was unbelievable. I mean, it's unbelievable, but also Michael, I think par for the course, right? This is what this administration does. They very rarely take responsibility for anything that they think is negative. The, the, their gut reaction is to always pass the blame. This is like a liberal problem. This is what these people do. It was his fault because he brought a gun to a protest. It was absolutely what they're always saying and they jumped right in and I mean, I was looking at my feed just before I got on this call with you. And a judge ordered that that five year old boy is not to be removed nor should his father. We've got Christine home being pressed by Congress right now. The calls for her impeachment are growing and growing louder and louder. It's Tuesday night at 715 p.m. Just a fly. So I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. And we have Trump saying that he wants and finally wants an honest inquiry, whatever that may mean into what's going on. In Minnesota, we have the head of DHS is the board of patrol commander is being asked to leave Minneapolis is being demoted. And I think that I think retiring, right? They're retiring. Correct. I sort of put him up to pasture. So there is really a growing surge. I have so many celebrities. Finally, celebrities are paying attention to this cause, which it's, you know, I always feel away about celebrities getting involved and maybe they're not experts sort of weighing in or they're influencing elections. But whether or not like I love it or hate it celebrities have power, right? They do. And they have the ability to bring attention to an issue. And again, whether or not we think it's their place to do so. I think we can agree. Celebrities are also citizens of the world, right? And citizens in the United States. And if you are a person, a person of conscience, you're looking at this. And this is wrong. And I, and, you know, is it too little too late? Don't know. But I mean, I do appreciate people sort of the more voices we lend to this, the better it is. Yeah, I think that's right. I love seeing everyone get involved to get amplified whether or not you're a celebrity, whether or not you have five followers or five million. Yeah. It's just great to see people posting and pushing information out, especially now that we have, it really feels like the public perception is what has moved everything from the public perception. And so that's why we've moved everything forward, right? The fact that we have so many people involved in the conversation that the, the, the horrors of the Trump administration. This isn't the first day that we've had awful things. However, it does finally feel like there is this growing swell, this surge of people who are paying attention. And effect and the change is starting to come. So we're starting to see resignations. And we're also seeing the public, a lot of people talking about how what ice is doing is a distraction, how their activity is intentionally designed to ensure that no one's focusing on the Epstein piles and that Pam Bondi is 31 days past the deadline to release more Epstein information from the Epstein piles. Right. They're hoping that people will be so distracted by what's going on in Minnesota that they will sort of forget to ask. And I think it's really important that this is, this is the moment to, you know, we can be outraged about multiple things at once. And we can be outraged about or curious about what's happening, what was going on in the Epstein files, while also being outraged and calling attention to what is happening in Minneapolis. So I mean, I think the, the lesson here is to is for citizens to sort of turn up the heat, right? Reach out to your Congressperson, make those phone calls, go to protests and strike everyone's striking on Fridays. So this episode drops on Thursday. The strike will be the next day. So tomorrow, if you're listening to this, is a general strike across the country. So no shopping, no school, no work, no nothing. And I strikes really do work. It is so important to bring attention to strikes. And everyone that reaches out to us or a lot of people who do are looking for nonviolent ways to stay away from violence, but still be a part of the change. So I love see that. Yeah. And you know, and about the strike. So this is a strike from everything folks. It's, you know, we're not going to work. We're not going to school. We're not shopping. We are, you know, these are all the things that look to write at me when she said she looked to me dead in the eyes and said no more. But you know what I will, I will abstain absolutely. So I mean, and it's in it's all the things, right? So this is an opportunity for the country, this administration to realize that they need us. They need us to participate and they serve at our pleasure. And this, we, this is not what we want as Americans. If you're looking to avoid being a part of an adversarial protest situation, you don't, you are afraid or nervous. This, this is a great way to be a part of a movement that is affecting change. So please join the general strike on Friday. One more thing before we jump into the episode. I wanted to do a quick PSA in this episode. I talk about bond hearings and eligibility for bond. A recent decision affecting bond eligibility and immigration court and all of the implications. I talk about it in the episode, but I did a little bit more research and I just wanted to give a quick PSA shout out that in the episode, I very much paint with a broom about who is and is not eligible for bond in immigration court. What I say is absolutely true and correct. I double check my research. However, there is nuance to it. So always consult an immigration attorney. I feel free to reach out to me. I've been clacking away answering DMs all week. But just to know that it is not, you know, an absolute. Right. And remember, friends, what do I always say while Michael is a lawyer? He's not your lawyer. So the information that we give out is for sort of general informational purposes and entertainment for your specific needle legal needs. Please reach out to your own attorney. Let's get into the episode. Sit your butt down and we will see you in the studio. Welcome to brief recess. I'm Michael foot. I'm Melissa Malbrandt. Today we're going to be talking about how we didn't crack our not the same. They're not. No matter what your mother says. All the messed up new bond proceedings and immigration court, a recently leaked ice memo thanks to a whistleblower, plastic surgery in our algorithms, space, astronaut arrests, and all the questions from your DMs were finally getting into the DMs stick around. This is like the platform nine and three quarters and London. Like that's a job. Platform nine and three quarters and London. There's someone's job is like tossing your scarf to make it look like you're running towards a fucking brick column. Yeah, you're pushing the thing, the trolley. Don't say you like I'm ever going to do this. Please keep me out of this. This is very potter fantasy. There's a person in charge. There's a person in charge of platform nine and three quarters and tossing people's scarves to make it look like you're running. Yes, yes, yes, Michael. Okay, you know, I'm I am not coming for this person's job. I'm not breaking. I mean, listen, I respect. I respect us, but I just think of like of all the anything can be a job. Sex work is real work. Oh, speaking of sex workers real work. So there's this sex worker that I follow on TikTok. Okay. I'm obsessed with her. She's so funny. You okay. Melissa's friends with sex workers like sometimes sometimes. Oh, do you remember that? Oh, yeah. Not to be like sex workers find Melissa and befriend her in a way that I've never seen before. I'm actually jealous. No, no, no, I was on a plane once and shout out to Chip blue. What was the airline? You know, I don't remember. We were friends when this happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't remember. It was a while ago, but I remember getting on a plane. I can't remember why. So I saw this woman and she was giving Kardashian. Do you know what I mean? Like that whole thing. Oh, yeah. Really pretty girl. But with the like airbrushed on makeup and all that stuff. Yes. And then we were the whole thing and then we were, we ended up sitting next to each other. And she, the plane was late, whatever. And she was like kind of like upset about it. And she was like, yeah, I got like all these appointments. And I was like, oh. Oh, appointments tell me more. Right. I forget how she told me that she was a sex worker. She didn't say sex worker. I think she said, I'm in porn or something like that. And I was like, do you tell the adult film industry? Do tell. I always got great stories. I love talking to a sex worker. I will tell you though. And I don't want to paint people who are in the sex industry with the same brush. But at the end of this flight, um, where was I? I think you were going to Miami. You were going to Florida for some reason. Maybe I was coming back from Florida. Yes. Oh, yes. I was coming back from Florida. So at the end of this flight, my take away is like the sex work beltway. Is the New York to Miami flight is the sex worker beltway? So she was coming because she had some dates. Yeah. It's great. It's great. It was booked in busy. This was for like a couple of days or whatever it was. But at the end of the flight, I remember feeling like this is like a damaged person. And I also felt very protective of her because there was a guy who had been listening to us talk. Oh, no. Yeah. And he like she went her way. I went my way. We exchanged numbers and stuff. And, um, and he sort of like made this like, no, you're like, I'm going to get you to a cab safely. Let me just. No, he would know she did what she was going to do. But he like looked at me. He was just like, that was an interesting conversation that you were having. I'm like, and he was none of your fucking. And it was I was just going to say it. It's none of your fucking business. Yeah. It's none of your business. And he was like, yeah. And she was like, well, you know, women like that. I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole. And what about men like you? He's dropping on people on plate. Staying keeping her fucking self. So fucking gross. Yeah. But I, and I, we stayed in touch for a long time. I remember you being like, I'm worried about this person. And it had nothing to do with her being a sex worker. No, it wasn't like, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was like my friend needs help. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because I definitely feel like she had some substance abuse issues. And she had a daughter who she wasn't really seeing anymore. Yeah. Her mom had taken her kid away from her. I just felt bad for her. People, people find you and like, also, I was at the club this weekend. And I went out all night dancing. It was great cardio. I was on that dance where I was having like 50,000 drinks. But this guy found me and we're chatting. And then he leans it in. He's like, I recognize you from TikTok. Can you help me with my I-589 asylum app? Are you going to help? Wait, asylum from Canada? I see. He was like, asylum. I was like, asylum from pole. Listen. He made me the full. And I was, he was like, can I get your number? Yeah. And I was like, sure, man. Yeah. No, it's like, oh, man. A asylum from, maybe I don't. Maybe Stella didn't get her groove back that night. I can't, I'm not going to tell you about his asylum claim from Canada. Okay. You know what? I'm sorry. I don't know what could have happened. Sir, you were doing so much cocaine. That was you, at your age, you should not be railing lines like that. That was a cardiac situation. When people do things like that in front of me, I immediately railing lines. I'm like nervous and horrified. Oh, I love it. I'm like, let's see how much this bitch can do. I'm actually kind of curious. I don't do drugs. I really don't. I know based off like my face. What? That what? 40 miles of rough highway that I might look like someone who's done a lot of drugs. It's not that. I think, let's tell the story. It's a bad drug. Okay. My brother's in college. He's getting a ride from home to college. He went to college in Connecticut. It took him a longer to get back to school than my parents thought that it should have. Okay. And then he finally calls and he tells my mother what happened and then my mother calls me. Okay. And she was just like Melissa. Your mother called me. And he said that. And because your mother called your neighbor because your neighbor called your neighbor because giving him the ride, the boyfriend, the boyfriend of the girl, pulled over, it'd be laptumic, he's smoking crack. And I was like, I'm like a Sunday at noon. Right. And I was like, a mid-root trip crack. First of all, my brother, did I not teach you anything? Like, I, you told mom. And I was like, yeah, that's what I was talking about. And so I was just like, that doesn't sound right to me anyway. Let me call him back. I call him back. And I was just like, let me ask you something. Did you call mom and tell her that your ride pulled over to smoke crack? And he was like, no, I told mommy, pulled over and he was smoking pot. And I was like, okay. So first of all, mom just took this to a class and see if that is, she charged, she upcharged. That is such a typical Haitian parent thing to do. Wait, I'm going to tell you the rest of it. So then I saw I start yelling at him. And I'm just like, did I not teach you anything? Why would you tell mom? And he was like, I don't know. She's like, so he got out his machine gun. And he loaded it up with crystal meth and he shot it into his vein right there on the side of the highway. So he's just like, I don't know. And sometimes I will say that sometimes I will say something to my mother. And then after I've said it, I'm just like, why did I tell her that? Because I told her I had a tick-tock and she's telling everyone I'm dealing next to me. So I call my mom back. And I was just like, mom, he, Joey said that it's not the guy didn't pull over to smoke crack. He was poking marijuana. And my mom was like, many, sir. Cuckoo, guy in. Maddie, you want to send me? And I was like, I got to go. Like, at this, and I got to tell you right now they're not the same thing. I was like, they're not the same thing. And she was just like, it's not, it is not just her. Haitian people, my Zoes, slide into my DMs. You tell, and actually any member of the diaspora, you tell me what your parents tell you about marijuana and crack. And being the same thing. The same thing. I've never smoked crack to go to sleep better at night. Let's just say that. That's crack. It doesn't help me fall asleep. I'm selling you though. That is no exaggeration. But I got to tell you the worst part of that story is that I'm still to this day. This is a years later. You're still trying to convince your mother that it wasn't crack. No, I'm so pissed off at my brother for confiding in my mother. God, Joey. Did I not teach you anything? I laid the way for you. And this is how you repay me. Let's take a break. People who didn't do what John F. Quad wanted them to do, they usually disappeared. John of God was once Brazil's most famous spiritual healer. But in this limited series podcast, we uncover the darker truth behind his global empire of faith and fear. From exactly right and a thundermedia, this is Too Faced, John of God. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Sidebar. We're going to just go over some weird things that have happened this week. I had I had a couple so many weird things. So many weird things stay happening. It's early in the week. I keep thinking about that meme. It's like from 30 rock and Liz lemons. Like, what a week, hunt jacks like lemon. It's Wednesday. It's still not even food. I feel like it's been quite the year. It's January. Yeah. It's been quite the year. I was in court yesterday. And this is so stupid. The mics weren't working. So the judge couldn't hear us because it was a virtual hearing. Gotcha. I was like muted. And so the judge can be like counselor. Can you speak up where I'm really sorry. The microphones in the courtroom aren't working. So I just can't hear anything. And I'm like, good thing this, it's not important that you can hear what I'm saying in court. So everything is collapsing. Right? Like she was like, saying canife and salmon. Like nothing matters anymore. Nothing matters anymore. It's like, nothing matters. It's like, it's adding extra syllables. So hard cut to me. I was I had to yell. I had to yell into the mic. That's why that's why you went to law school. I'm selling them sounding a little horse today. Horus. Horus. I had a bond hearing where now because so many people are being detained right now, the bond court is they're not even transporting migrants to court anymore. They're just putting a camera in a cell. And it's giving full zero dark 30 guantanamo vibes. Like this is total vibes. I'm sorry, everyone, but I don't even know what to ask you. Is that legal? I mean, I'm sitting there and I'm like, is this so I get so I log into it's a web x hearing because we're doing everything on web x now because it's so things are moving so fast and there's so many people it's the volume. So I log in and I'm like, why are there 50 people in orange jumpsuits on one zoom camera just in a cell? I was like this I've never seen just a a throng a line of people staring into the zoom camera and the inmates are just waiting for their turn and they're all standing like they're all just standing waiting around. And I'm like, this is is someone to someone turn on like the security cameras. Something is not right here. Yeah. And you get to bond court early because you're like, I got to get there. I don't know when they're going to call my clients. So you're usually waiting around for your client to be called and then you're litigating for less than 60 seconds, right? It's just like a lot of waiting. I usually bring I'm answering emails and then they call my person's number. But I log into the web x and it's 50 people in a cell standing. There's nowhere for them to sit because there's so many people so many people. So then they say they call a name out and it's like over the loudspeaker and the person raises their hand. And they sort of shuffle over to the front. Yeah. Mill forward to the front. Raise your hand. Melissa's here. She moves forward to the front. Okay. And you stand there in front of the camera in a cell while I argue you should be released on bond with all these other people. All these other people never come in into crime. Like these aren't criminals. These are these are people who are just in some sort of immigration proceeding or undocumented. It was it was truly I was like and this is the first time that you've seen this. Yes. And I'm someone who is like a loud mouth crazy bitch and who is prone to filing lawsuits. And I was like I don't even know where to begin. I don't really even know if I should say like my job today is to get my client out. Sure. I have a duty to ensure that I get my client funded out. Who do you take that to? Who do you complain? And I'm still figuring that out. It happened yesterday. So it's like I still need I mean to like put a call in to figure out what to do here. Because this is like the ACL you should be aware of this. This is like we're and then I'm like what is happening at this detention facility that this is what they're putting in front of a judge. Right. Like a judge can see that cell. And no one's saying anything. And not while I was there. I was there for like one short proceeding. And then I had that you got a skid out all once your persons bonded. Gotcha. But I was like I don't even know where to begin. So that so that is just like a little window into I guess we talk about this after the ice fan closes what happens on the other side of the van. This is what happened. That's what I'm seeing. That is looking through the keyhole. What at least I am seeing and I'm like that's what they're showing judges. If that's what they're showing litigants. I mean we I feel like we say this every time we talk about this like again nothing mat. Nothing seems to matter anymore. Like I think all bets are off. They've tossed a rule book aside. They're doing whatever whenever however we just we just found out that there was a there a welcome back whistleblowers. Where have you been? We've been waiting for y'all because we got a whistleblower complaint this week. About that was released the DOJ issued a verbal memo. There was like a verbal order given to ice officers that they should break into people's homes. I did hear about this. Yeah. Yeah. And and drag them out if so needed which is a huge. There's warrants. Yeah. No warrants. No signs judicial warrant. The form warrant is fine. They're telling people they're telling their officers. And when everything was happening last week it feels like a year ago in Minnesota. Yeah. Where we were seeing people dragged out of the homes were like no no no no you have to ask judicial warrant. Oh ice officers just aren't trained. No they are trained. They were trained. They were trained to break the fourth amendment and do this all with how did judicial warrant. So I guess it all depends on on how this sort of plays out but I just don't even again and this is the same thing. I don't even know what to ask you. So like what what is going to happen? Nothing's going to happen or this is going to be. Plenty is going to happen. The thing is that it's going to get worked through the court system. Right. So like these violates but in the meantime these people are going to get deported but and they're being violated. Exactly. And it'll get worked through the court system and they'll say no that was wrong. They'll be a congressional hearing. It'll take years. But in the meantime we've got your friendly neighborhood gardener getting dragged out of his house. He's got a LPR status. He's got a green card. Right. Is being held in detention not really some bonds because we changed the bond rules. And then that person is either being held in detention and needs to hire an expensive lawyer to get them out or they're going to get deported. And then we'll work it out on the flip side. It is absolutely wild. But it not only could it but it will take years to unravel this. I mean we've completely annihilated someone's life and not just their lives but their families. Did you see that they use this little boy's bait to get them out? Yes I did. It's one of these things where it's like if you aren't horrified by that like I don't know what will horrify you like I don't know what it'll take for you to get involved if that doesn't bother you. Right. And I feel like every week we come in here and we say oh this thing happened. If you're not horrified by this how could you know it's nothing's going to horrify you. You've no brawmater for this. I mean I think it's this idea of the other right. If they if they had come here legally if they had done it right like my ancestors did you know what I mean. It is I think that they you know the people who are looking at this and don't see anything wrong with that don't think that these people are the same as them right they are they're not human beings. Right. Because the president of the United States is talking about them like that right. I will go on the record until you right now. If you're one of these people who say oh well this this is happening to them because what they did is illegal. I will tell you right now it is not just happening to the people who did things illegally. They're they're it is happening to the people who did it the right way. Right. People who did illegally. Right. I will dispel that most of my clients are people who are in detention because and it's usually because they did it legally and they came in contact with DHSI's and were then detained because they were trying to do it legally. Right. So if you're one of these people who believe these these fallacies that oh well this is happening to these people they deserve it. They did something illegal. They did something wrong. That is not the case for most people. I mean and also I mean they're they're instances of people who are American citizens who are you know who are getting rounded up. Yeah. So they're they just happened to a woman in Minnesota they beat her American citizen and called her the end word. Right. And then detained her for two days. Right. Realize she was a citizen and released her. But released her and then you know nothing. Apology. No I mean I hope she sews their asses and I hope that Congressman Robert Garcia is compiling a list of all the things that people are doing wrong and suing. I just I am so deeply concerned about what is going to happen to the people that they round up regardless of immigration status. I'm worried about what kind of abuses are taking place in these detention centers. I'm worried about kids being left unattended. Their parents are being taken away from them. This is and I wonder what is going to happen when all is said and done. Like you know I think it was last week or I don't remember anymore but you were talking about this woman that you had heard about on NPR who was talking about while they were putting Japanese people in an internment camp this family came to her and that she asked for a glass of water and this woman didn't do it because she was afraid right. Right. And now here it is 70 years later and she's still thinking about it. What's going to be your glass of water moment. Right. This is your algorithm is showing we're going to talk a little bit about what's showing up on our feeds. What's our feeds are a little bit different right now. A little bit yeah. I'm seeing a lot about this ice and also Greenland but I'm hearing a lot of creators a lot of news sources talk about how a lot of this is a distraction from the Epstein files and what's happening with the Epstein list. Have you been hearing about this at all? I have many I think so my algorithm is always all over the place. So yes I'm hearing a lot of things about Greenland. I'm hearing a lot of because I'm super interested in this and there are people who are volunteering to be sort of on the look out for ice. I am very interested in doing that and sort of like walking around trying to follow them to see what they're up to and letting people in those communities know that they should stay in their homes and let them know that ice is out there looking for them. I also have been really interested in finding so every now and then ice will gather up people and then release them but when they release them sort of like leave them wherever it is right. Yes. No coat. I will say this quick PSA. Yeah. If you are a migrant or even like a I guess US citizen who might be perceived by an ice office I guess a non-white US citizen put someone on your pet's tag your dog tag because people are getting picked up and their migrants with their phone number on their dog's tag ice usually just leaves the pet where they pick the person up on the street. So then all these dogs are straits they get picked up by the like the ASPCA the Straits and they go to the pound and people can't contact a family member because they're trying to call someone who's in a detention center. Oh god. So they don't have access to their phone. So put like a relative friend family member your immigration lawyer whoever on your pet's tag so that if you get picked up by ice it sounds crazy but it is happening it's happening a lot and now all these pets are kind of displaced as well because they can't access the the owner because they're being held in detention. So but I saw that on my algorithm too did you see in Minnesota there are people with whistles on every single street corner every single block and I mean I think that's amazing work shout out to those people you know so that's what I'm seeing because like I said I'm engaging with that stuff because I'm interested in participating so also if anybody is aware of an organization doing that stuff reach out to me because I'm totally down especially down to sort of like pick somebody up and take them back home to where it is yeah so I'm seeing that I'm also seeing some random. It's come to a point where I'm waiting what about it I've been engaging in plastic surgery like before and after yeah before and after I like a doctor that I'm like obsessed with doctors this more no I wait I've been seeing like crazy like Korean skincare procedures oh no not the procedures but procedures but also like the like the skincare oh yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah me too and I follow along on the journey people are flying to Korean they get the yeah they're flying to Korea they're flying to Turkey I've I mean I'm a bald man I'm not I'm no stranger to Turkey and the Turkey flights I know it's really funny to see like super interesting to see all the men at the airport in Turkey who are on the way home yes who all have like bandages I remember one time people who may not know but like the Dominican Republic is a place where a lot of people go to have plastic surgery I didn't know that oh yeah like BBLs and things like that and I remember I was coming back from Jamaica and the flight from DR was coming in at the same time we'll sort of land it together okay and there was a line of wheelchairs waiting waiting or they're like and mostly women waiting like to sort of see and these women look rough like they clearly weren't feeling well and they had just been you know you're not supposed to sit on your ass after you have it in BBL but they had like those inner tubes to sit on to like propel your butt up so that you're not like sitting on it and they look like they weren't a lot of pain have we get oh my algorithm is showing oh yeah so that's your algorithm that's your algorithm show so my algorithm is like this weird combination of plastic surgery and like and like ice greenland political stuff yeah mine is like a lot of a lot of ice I'm engaging with it but I'm also one of the creators who's creating it so then people are tagging me and stuff so then I think it kind of shows me that and then it's a lot of you know bone broths and a lot of korean skin care I was telling you about this girl that I follow the sex worker that I follow oh yeah she's got her lip filler removed oh people get their lip filler dissolved that's dissolved yeah and it looks like she got beat up it's supposed to be way really painful to get it and she said it hurt a lot to get out I think they put it like a chemical in there to dissolve it or I know her mouth is all black and blue that is like I have been blessed by the lip gods my whole life I was teased as the only gay kid at my school with big lips you can only imagine the things people said to me growing up but what they say to you Michael I can't repeat it yes you don't want to you know I mean it's and that's fine if it's personal to you I stumbled with huge lips you know what you people what people said what people said about my lips well I really grew into them what people said about my lips what people said about my lips is what Lauren Bober did at beetle juice that is what they said about my lips I'm the preeminent Lauren Bober beetle juice hand job truth or that's who I am and that's why I want to be remembered as so throw it on my head stone so in addition to putting you in a dress I'm sorry there's no way she gave a dry hand job there has to have been mouth stuff I'm sorry no one over the age of 16 got a hand job with me and they were in the movies and they probably popcorn maybe the butter I mean a full I'm sorry this is these are the conversations we need to be having America what lubricated that hand job I'm sorry you can't get my handy James you are trying your job I need I need answers I'm sorry this is reporting um where are the journalists where are the whistleblowers I haven't heard from the cast I haven't called in press two in the comments if you've given a dry hand job I want to know no no no no no no this is not that kind of show we're not gonna do it yeah no yeah no it isn't as someone who's I'm an expert why let's take a break let's take a break let's give mother watch this show I hope not she doesn't talk to me welcome back this is brief recess we're gonna jump right into under oath I want to talk about space law okay I didn't realize that I just watched interstellar again over the holidays you know I'm obsessed with space I know you know that I love a good astronaut story you know what that I love add astra which is about a man going to space to find his dad uh-huh because he's got daddy issues you know I love daddy issues in space starring Brad Pitt and you know what sometimes we all work through our daddy issues in our own way sure sometimes you have to go to Jupiter to do it why not and that's what Brad Pitt did for all of us so yeah so I want to talk about crime in space because this had there was also a headline recently for astronauts who were uh safely returned just last week yeah they had an unusual week in space it puts a usual week in space I I feel like you know I have to tell you I have the sense that sometimes there are some really mundane moments in space where they're doing the same sort of testing over and over again yeah they're I don't know what astronauts do what's a mundane part of your week that might be kind of weird for other people mine is like fighting with cops mine is like arguing with cops why are you arguing with cops all the time are you really yes oh my god yeah they're always trying to try to like privilege place for you to be Michael foot yeah yes it is and it is very much a way in which I use my way privilege for good okay it's usually they're trying to get one of my clients to say or admit to something or they're like oh hey just come down to the station and answer a few questions and then I show up and I'm like what was the question ask me ask me ask me I'm curious what was the question bitch anyway they had an unusual week in space of required the crew to leave the International Space Station a month earlier because of a medical issue that arose in orbit right and they wouldn't say which one of them it was right they're not saying it's good for them no no for them keep keep your secrets have you been to the doctor recently I have yes did I tell you what my doctor said to me with your fat tongue no my doctor did not say I had a fat tongue she said she said I had a quite a white which is different no it's gonna happen to me now I have a really small following on social media but not because you said there's they're gonna be all these weird tongue people coming at me because of you I get foot fetish people because my last name's foot I've always been a target no I'm serious I went on a date once for the guy who had a weird it wasn't weird we're not king shaming no it was weird it would let me tell you let's say how I love it send me photos of your feet I love it you I'm not worried you have opened it now it's I have just nothing I haven't seen before I actually I kind of want to send them in and I'll throw a photo of your foot up on the show next week most but not my foot oh that oh okay stranger strangers on the internet I thought you were volunteering I'm scared I thought you did nothing scares me I'm more afraid of the Swifties anyway what did your doctor say to you oh so just this general lead I sort of feel I could just when I said this already but I had my annual physical and my doctor said to me that they doctors are now are being pressured to use AI in their and their appointments to record the appointment so usually your doctor takes notes they covered this on the pit the on on an episode of the pitch she starts recording the yeah okay so my doctor refuses to do it good and but she wanted me to know that they doctors from on high are being pressured to use it because they're saying that it'll it'll cut time because your doctor does know it's and then I guess at the end of the day or the end of the week they have to like they have to like recap it why weren't they it's recording your it's recording it's recording the session I don't who gets that require I don't like that right and that's exactly what she was saying and she's saying right now they're not making them do it but they want them to do it and that she's also telling me that um she wanted me to know that the doctor is obligated to tell you the patient that this is happening for now and I was like oh is it like at the front desk they're telling you she was like no the doctor has to say to you is it okay with you if I record this and that it gets trans guy by AI and you can say yes or no and if you say no and they do it anyway that is not practice interesting yeah she was she was fit to be tied as they say I went to the doctor and he didn't take any notes and he wasn't typing and now I'm like was he recording that according to my doctor he would he would have had to tell you I am the worst lawyer though and I will just sign anything so it's totally possible that I signed something they have to tell you verbally oh okay I asked that question I was like is it something that I'm because you know because we all do this right you go to the doctor and you're just like what quick quick quick quick quick and then you just sign your life away um and she said no they have to tell you verbally that's what she said I found a weird lawsuit that was around space because space was in the news and I wanted to sort of bring it to you it's from a few it's from a while ago but it's Florida versus no act where I was in trouble when I was reviewing the case I was like fucking Florida man shit always happens in Florida but she was a Navy captain and NASA astronaut and she worked with this man William and they began a romantic relationship at NASA love and space it was very cute until it wasn't until I mean most lawsuits if you're ending up in criminal court something happened whereas something went awry no one's in criminal court because they are just in love but their relationship developed during long training hours simulations and travel and it was romantic yet inconsistent was how it was described so complicated by distance schedules one person's an orbit one person's not one person's at the international space station but no one really acknowledged the relationship at NASA which I thought was interesting that there was no real like precedent for romantic relationships in NASA in other words whether or not it was okay or not okay to have a relationship yeah which is like interesting strangely because most companies have some sort of policy how long ago are we talking I think this was what year was the scene journey I think it was 2007 okay so okay so yeah yeah I'm sure there have been other romantic relationships at NASA this was in like the first one sure but maybe it's the first one that went so bad it did kind of go bad actually so William the gentleman in the relationship William Ophilline he later started dating Colleen Shipman who was an Air Force captain so it was sort of like this love triangle we've got Lisa we've got Colleen and we have William good old Billy Billy's the guy Billy remember where I was talking about the other day about every woman has a man in her life that drives him crazy Billy oh I thought you're gonna say yours was a guy named Billy no it wasn't because I was gonna say lightning doesn't strike towards no no no no no two billies no yeah Lisa struggled a lot because Billy started dating Colleen and there was a little bit of there was frequent communication after they broke up I and that was sort of what was in the case and the prosecutors sort of presented was these consistent constant communications over a lot of emails and she was emailing Billy pretending to be Colleen and he was falling for it yeah which is like come on Billy it's also like not to victim blame but like no no not to victim blame but also it's 2006 just as what was email like back then that she could make make up an email was it easier to fall for it maybe I guess so but also was he not speaking to Colleen to know that yeah she starts she's so now you're having these conversations with with Colleen but really leave that over email but are you also seeing Colleen and referring back to the email and she's like what are you talking about it reminded me that we used to have conversations on email yeah do you remember this yes I do I totally forgot about yeah but I would say up until like 2012 2013 I whenever cell phones became a thing whenever that is I mean cell phones were a thing then but like no but like like smartphones because remember if you had a Nokia you were like pressing the seven nine word you were pressing you could only do it yeah I do sometimes miss a blackberry where you could just like type under the table with where you had like the keyboard yeah I was I held on to it for a long time yeah but no I was just thinking about like people who had conversations over email back then and how we don't do that anymore no at all now it's like I need this thing is my email or an email I got is like I need this thing and it's like here it is yes well now I think we're just using email for work less personal right yes work and marketing yes and shopping and shopping correct correct and now we're just all texting yes so that was not the case in 2006 because Lisa was pretending to be Colleen and she learned somehow that Colleen was flying to Orlando to visit William and while she was visiting it triggered a sort of like now or never mindset and Lisa thought that she could confront and persuade William to sort of leave Colleen for her and this is all in like court transcripts what this be a lesson if you have to do that I know if you have to like beg and plead and cajole somebody to be with you then you don't have you ever done that to a man I will I'll go on the record and say that I have been dumped and not accepted it for like some time but I wasn't like contacting no I wasn't I was despondent but like not I was like confused that it I was like well what do you mean it was so great I wasn't confused I was sad and I'm pretty clear I mean like clear I'd but like not wanting to reach out to the person but like rather that's not what I do I would I am I was more of a stay home covers over my head E pizza yeah I did I did that but then I think I also got drunk and like called him oh like a drunk call yeah yeah yeah I'm pretty extroverted so it was I'm not yeah I don't like people very much yeah the you know there's always the one that gets away we all want to be the one who gets away I've gotten away but I've also got been gotten away from yeah it's fine I'm never sorry and eventually you get to a place where yeah yeah yes yes calling so she confronts her she's wearing she packed her car with items and decided to confront William in Orlando and drove from Texas wearing adult diapers so that she wouldn't have to stop and that is dedication and and she admitted to the adult diapers yeah later like the police were like we didn't find any evidence of this she came forward and wanted to let us know that she was wearing diapers while she was driving to Florida to confront them you won't catch me in admitting to being dived up that would never be something that I would tell anyone but you know live your truth love seeing that people are you know saying the quiet part out loud but she drove alone drove straight rather than flying she arrived in Orlando just as the flight was landing so she really had this like planned out and waited in the airport parking area and it's described as a brief confrontation and court transcripts but she pepper sprays Colleen kind of attacks them which was later used she was charged with battery and this case the legal precedent for this case really comes down to the mens rea which we talk about a lot right but it's like how much mens rea do you need and how much of an actual act do you need to charge someone with attempted murder right so we need to have the mens rea to want to commit the crime but we also need like a significant step so prosecutors were trying to say that her driving all the way from Texas was the step towards the commission of the crime the crime being attempted murder but they ended up playing it out and negotiating because the evidence was so weak there's so many things that someone could be thinking or going through on a drive from Texas to Florida sure like there was no documentation of the mental state other than the fact that she she really anybody messages or saying anything right right and so the defense was like this was just like emotional distress right that wasn't intent to commit murder there was a BB gun that she she brought a BB gun pistol with her but that what did they argue they argued it was intent to to like terrorize or was it they were they were doing it she they argued that she brought a BB gun pistol the defense said it was to scare them mm-hmm rather than actually harm because can you you can't kill someone with a BB gun can you I don't know I mean maybe if you like stick in their ear or something like do you know I'm saying yeah like you got to really get to really attempt to her I guess everything's a weapon I think anything can be a weapon that's what they said just a middle school they said a pen could be a weapon it can if I stick it in your eyes that'll smart some won't it that was such a Hermione Granger thing to say like it'll smelt a bit it's a bit small and stick this pen in your eye anyway so she brought cash and prepaid items some messages were described as confessional and fixated the BB gun was described as realistic look in raising fear even though it wasn't lethal so investigators found no evidence of alcohol or drugs and this wasn't so it wasn't really like impairment wasn't a part of the case but psych evaluations also showed no psychosis that this was right so so it sounds like she did all this stuff seemingly while maybe upset but Stone Cold sober and not out of her mind right and was very like dedicated it was emotional stress yes it was a obsessive fixation yes how I would characterize it if I were the defense attorney and the victim escaped by locking colony in escape she locks herself in her car and drives away so colony was able to get away after getting pepper sprayed Williams hands are like inexplicably clean in this which not to like not to victim blame but we know through personal experiences how men can make us crazy right you said last episode every woman has a man I do feel that way I agree yeah I have one and all my friends have one yeah yeah so I'm like huh this is one of those situations where I'm like we have a woman who seems to have been driven to the brink of madness yeah made a significant step to commit a crime was accused of and convicted of a crime we have no information about what transpired in that relationship right like what was that like what did she go through what was that breakup like was he cheating on with her with calling I mean I really don't want to be the one who's like he had a comment no it's not me saying that I just don't we don't know anything all we have is the reaction we don't have the action right of what actually happened in the relationship what he promised her what what she understood it to be yes yeah and just knowing history of the world there usually is something so that is like prejudicing me as I read this right like some sort of a gas lighting situation right yeah or like a little bit like that or like some are like I've dated guys where they're always like looking at the hot guy over your shoulder like you're talking to them and they're like this looking over your shoulder at the right person like yeah and it's like have a seat alive to me and we're not fucking good enough or just dump me and go hit it like I don't know why not just so I don't know I don't know what the tea was it seems like we we need to hear what the tea was from her but pepper spray was the only item actually used during their encounter so they were able to sort of like attempt charges really hinge on proximity and prosecutors worried that a jury might over react to like the astronaut status the fact that she was an astronaut actually helped the defense and they would say rather than like looking at the law that her being an astronaut actually like gave a lot more credibility because she had gone through that crazy intense training because it is like a status thing there are so few like how many astronauts do you know I know zero right so defense council quietly benefited from the fact that she had so much status associated with her air force status as well as astronaut and I'm sure they listened to her record and if she had sort of been not behaving in this way in the past there would be like something must have happened right and they were able to use that to her benefit did she go to jail she did so she did go to jail so the plea deal avoided a jury trial that NASA NASA really I mean NASA is the other part in this they've really wanted to avoid a jury trial because it would have made all over headlines even just the attempted act of one of their officers doing this got so much media attention right they really like I may also interviewed other astronauts because apparently it was having a really negative impact on morale at NASA which is interesting I don't think I would have thought about that like why maybe because what we were saying how many astronauts are there right and they probably I mean I don't know probably all know each other community and it's a small it's like a small elite community yeah imagine so for one person from that community to sort of be a mal actor I could imagine was what was he charged with so she didn't actually serve any prison sentence she spent two days in jail after the encounter but then she had a year probation after that because she pled out just to the assault the battery charge yeah she also lost her her astronaut pension eligibility which is a big deal that's got to stop it's the I mean yeah I'm sure that's like a major any pension any pension that you lose because you she invested all that time in training I wonder I wonder where she is now I wonder how she is honestly truly like it seems like one of these situations where it's like you go through something really tough yeah you have a shit experience with a guy you make some sticks like we have all done that drunk dial yeah gone through a guy's phone because we were suspicious like we have all taken some sort of step maybe not as extreme as this one this is extreme but it does I don't know I was like reading it and I was like I feel really empathetic towards this person I'm like this they had to go through this and this was something that I don't know there was just something like really sympathetic about it where I was like damn like I read a lot about crime and punishment and I'm like I don't really know what was happening there but this one I was like I actually do kind of know what was happening yeah I mean because it feels like if we're just sort of reading this and trying to understand it feels like she had some sort of an emotional break yeah yeah where she felt whether it's true or not she felt that maybe this man had promised her something or she felt like the relationship was promising in some way and felt like well why couldn't he love me like I'm gonna make him love me I'm gonna show him yes how wonderful I am and I'm gonna do all these things but that's that's not how you get someone to want to be with you it's just not Michael don't do that anymore could it I'm still figuring out how I get someone to want to be with my own husband is like when are you leaving when you going to have no oh I'm serious no he's not telling the truth he's really and I know that he's not telling the truth this is a cry for help folks this has been under oath we'll be right back this is tells from the DMs we're going to talk about all the things you send me in my DMs I'm gonna answer all your questions remember if you have a question go to my link tree on any of my social medias and go to speak pipe is the link and you can record your voice and we'll play it on the air and remember everyone while Michael is a lawyer he's not your lawyer so everything that you hear here that you hear here yeah here here everything that you hear here is for entertainment purposes only she's been to platform nine and three quarters you can tell here here here here all right this is our first question we're gonna keep an anonymous as always don't give us any identifying information hit it CJ hey Michael this is um well this is someone I'm caught himself just the briefcase I uh I was deported for an aggravated felony I snuck back in the country and now I'm in this dilemma what could I do um I've heard of waivers being asked for uh as a forgiveness waiver and readjusting while I'm inside or would you suggest based on what's going on to just go back to my home country and uh and perhaps just wait it out something interesting that I saw was that uh well I was in the detention center in Louisiana um people were bar from uh any sort of immigration benefit for three five and ten years I did not see a 20 year or a permanent bar now my question is in my documents there's no limit it there's nothing saying that I'm forbidden from applying or bar from applying for any type of immigration benefit there's no time frame and so I'm wondering if due to the aggravated aggravated felony is it that I'm barred permanently or could you maybe help me out with uh with my question sorry thanks that's a lot yeah he has a lot going on it's um there's there are a lot of things he's talks talks about that are kind of inside our baseball like um aggravated felony is like a classification and immigration law for certain types of felonies they're a big deal in the south southern states certain things like um you know threatening someone while using they call it like terroristic threats and it's like go fuck I'm gonna fucking kill you is like consider to terroristic threat which we New Yorkers use every day uh subway but certain things get classified I don't know what the crime was but if he's basically to answer your question anonymous if you were convicted of an aggravated felony it bars most pathways for immigration forward so like you can't get a asylum it's really hard to overturn you would and and and I understand what he was saying so the the waivers that he's talking about there are these certain bands on um ex number of years if you've been deported with if you've been here illegally and you get deported there are certain number of years that you're banned from reentry okay that's what he's kind of talking about so it's usually like I think it's 180 days to a year I think the ban is like a year once you've deported and you're coming back in because this person reentered um so that is sort of what he's talking about he learned about that in detention from other migrants but let's say he went back to his country yeah the United States doesn't necessarily know that he's here could he go back home and reapply to come into the United States or is that so that is a great question the problem with that is that if you haven't aggravated felony conviction yeah it is going to bar you from most avenues of entry no matter what no matter what okay that's probably why he had to come back illegally crossed I mean he didn't have to come back he didn't have to but yeah there were choices that were made sorry great clarification right couldn't come back legally correct yeah great clarification but yeah so the bottom line is really like aggravated felony plus the legal reentry usually is a permanent bar like period do you think there is any scenario where the reason that he committed the what was it the aggravated felony would impact his ability to come back we always talk about this like there's always something you can do as a lawyer right right like there's always like an appeal there's always the habeaskin there's always that this there's always a lawyer who can find something to attempt okay if this person were like you must do something Michael mm-hmm I would challenge that felony charge okay I would find a way to appeal that charge okay and I would try and get that overturn yeah because that's going to free up everything else okay because every other immigration pathway it's going to be blocked okay just by having that decision okay ruled against so yeah so that is what I would do is I would if if you were like Michael you have to do something challenge the aggravated felony and get that overturned right because that'll at least open up some avenues otherwise there no there's no forgiveness waiver that's not that doesn't apply okay there's no like waiting it out when it cut like that those charges are on the books so unless you get that overturned there's nothing else you can really do so thank you for your question like thank you for your honesty that was a really interesting one it was I do a lot of work with people who've been accused of crimes who then are trying to face the immigration process and you can have I had someone who had 12 criminal convictions okay none of them were aggravated felonies though okay they were all like drug possession misdemeanors okay and I was able to get that person status I got them LPR is called LPR cancellation okay because but if even one of them was considered an aggravated felony no no that pathway's not an option okay we recently were contacted by PETA which is how we know we made it in the biz and I wanted to turn the mic over to Melissa who has a prepared statement as a bober truth or it's important for me to be open and honest and create dialogue on this show for all opinions so I'm gonna turn the mic over to Melissa who wants to respond to PETA's PETA reached out with concerns because we were talking about for and how Melissa likes to thrift and buy vintage furs from animals that it's not new fur and so I'm gonna turn it over to her and I'm gonna say nothing else because I don't want to get canceled well anyway shout out to PETA it was a really kind letter and I appreciate the information that you gave us basically what said first said that he wanted to thank us for because Michael and I had to in our last episode that we were not interested in buying any new fur those kinds of things um but that he also wanted us to know that and I think he says I want to quote him here he says that um we wanted to share that unfortunately whether someone is wearing fur made in 2026 or 1946 it's still sent the same message to others that it's okay to exploit and kill animals for the sake of fashion um I have said this before and I will continue to say this I am always willing to be educated I am always willing to have a conversation or a dialogue with somebody and I really appreciate the way that PETA reached out to us um I'm actually very touched by the message um also said that if I guess Michael or I or anyone is interested in donating their fur items that there's a space for that um I will put that in my social media Michael will you put it in your account sure yeah and uh I'm going to reach back out to you I have two pieces that I am willing to donate and everything else that you said I will absolutely keep that under advisement and once again I really appreciate you guys reaching out to us I want to say that I think it's okay to wear and buy vintage fur as long as it appears vintage right like if you're buying a fur coat that looks brand new you're propagating sort of like I disagree with that okay so I do think there's a difference in purchasing vintage fur I do um I think it's I look at said I would never buy something new I don't know that it matters that it looks vintage I guess everyone is cool not buying new fur it doesn't matter if it looks vintage right because like if we're walking around wearing fur and like we look really hot and then someone sees us and it's like wow I love fur I also want to buy fur but that person knows I'm not going to buy new fur I don't think we should be killing minks let me go to on a state zone buy a thrifted fur coat I guess it's like it doesn't have to be one or the other as long as people are aware and informed that don't buy new fur yeah and let's have like a really hot end uh market on the secondary market for vintage fur right I think that's okay I do think it needs to be one or the other yeah I don't think you can buy new fur right I mean I don't support that I don't know I agree with that um I understand why people object to fur whether it is vintage or new my feeling about vintage fur is that that is a deed that has been done probably before we were born sure right and if we dispose of it so it is either going to end up in a landfill or it's going to be destroyed in some way um I'm not sure what else could happen with fur that already exists um so that's for me that's the difference right my mom donated my eyes for to the animal shelter and the pets all slept on it that is something you can donate it but I think that like the difference between what does that do I'm I'm genuinely curious I don't think it does anything I think it's just like an ethical way to dispose of fur don't want okay because my mother was like I'm never gonna wear these yeah yeah but I guess like I'm okay I'm okay with vintage fur but I am like open to being corrected like as always if you've got a strong argument like I'll take it I'll learn I'll grow I'll apologize and like but from where I sit right now knowing the what I know which I think is enough mm-hmm I feel like it's okay to have to buy vintage fur and wear it is okay to me same but again always open to have the conversation yeah for sure for sure get on the record message us you can email us free free says at exactlyrightmedia.com and like let's have the debate like I'm I'm actually open to it I don't really I don't think I buy any fur so it's it's like is it's absolutely zero stakes for me but I I'm curious to hear because I could be persuaded let's have the debate let's do it yep I will say as someone who people contact me on the internet all the time with the craziest fucking shit mm-hmm this was a very nice letter oh it was super really nice oh yeah people's act people call me names yeah oh we they the Swifties are trying to dox me pita was I have to say yeah they get a bad rap this was the one of the nicest emails I've kind of gotten yeah really so um and like I said we really appreciate you listening we appreciate you reaching out and um and you will hear from me this week for sure this has been tales from the DMs thanks for listening thank you this has been brief recess I'm Michael foot I'm Melissa Melbourne I'll see your ass in court not me this has been an exactly right production recorded at iHeart Studios posted by me Michael foot and me Melissa Melbourne our producer is CJ Ferroni this episode was edited by Nicholas Galucci our associate producer is Christina Chamberlain and our guest booker is Patrick Kottner our theme song was composed by Tom Vryfogal with artwork from Charlotte Delario MNSA lilac with photography by Brad obono brief recess is executive produced by Karen Kilgarif Georgia Hart Stark and Danielle Kramer you can find me on instagram at department of redundancy department or on tiktok at Michael foot and I'm on both instagram and tiktok as Melissa Melbourne got legal questions reach out at brief recess at exactly right media dot com listen to brief recess on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and of course we're a podcast with video search for brief recess on youtube