Trevor Wallace & The Dr. Dre Conversion

Hi, I'm Bobby Lee, and I created a graphic novel with my friend Matthew here. It's called Deadweight. Look at how beautiful this is. Wow. Amazing. Dude, this looks great. Look at that. Oh my god, dude. You can get it everywhere. Books are sold. Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and gundnerbooks.com. It's rated R Kung Fu Panda meets Kick-Ass. It's from my heart. And so please check it out. We'll see. I want them to debate 10 a.m. open mics. And if it's worth the time. Ramsey's going to win every debate. even if he's like yeah okay fine I was speech and debate champion in college yeah I know I can just feel it even if it's like about periods and stuff yeah you should debate or say why periods are bad women should stop I'm trying to navigate Bobby right now 10am I haven't started with the piano as of late but maybe I will maybe I will protect your nose Ramsey Oh, he's covering his nose. Nice. And beef. Beef and salami and bologna What's going on with your nose? I was just covering it up. Why? I don't want it to be any inspiration for your anything. If it was, I would start with Holes in the nose. I'm not talking about my nostrils. Okay. Are you trying to win a competition? I talked to a doctor. They said it was normal. Okay. What is wrong with your nose? He's got 10,000 pores on the nose. Which is natural, according to my dermatologist. I've just never seen it. Natural amongst what? Sand people? That's not a very nice word. He's Muslim. Yeah, thank you very much. No, I'm talking about Star Wars reference. Oh. Yeah, yeah. I know they were wearing masks in the movie. And they're like, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Damn, Kat. Goddamn, Kat. Crazy. This is crazy. in the nose. Normal holes. Normal holes. You know, but women find you attractive. They do. Very. There was one girl, I told you who it was, that was, is Ramsey single, and in my mind, I'm like, it was the first time where I went, oh, he could be attractive. He could be? He could be attractive. Because when I look at you, I don't see it. I can only see it through other people's eyes. Uh-huh. Yeah. I mean, would you find him attractive? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Thanks, Catbird. But do you see like your openers on stage and you're like, oh, there's no way that they're hot. Yeah. Wow. Is that why I go? What? Is that why you take me? What? Because there's no way that you think I can get any of the women? I don't know why I take you. I haven't really thought about why. Let's not get it. Let's not get too much in this conversation. Although, somebody on my DM said, can you bring Catbird to San Jose? Whoa. Interesting. Yeah. Now, we did have a... I don't know if I can use her because, you know, Santino uses her. Oh. Wait. Oh. But I don't have pores in my nose. Oh, no. Oh. I take a porous guy who's loyal. You have pores on your vag. Oh. How do you know that? Oh. Oh. That's kind of weird. Yeah. What? I don't care for the disloyalty. I stay loyal. Well, I'm loyal. Unless Santino's interested. Then we'll talk You did a really good job at my special Did I? I think you were running around and you really did Did you see my assistant there? Bro, I was there You had an assistant there? She was there Melanie At the after party Oh, she was there at the after party She was eating Taco Bell Yeah, yeah, yeah But, yeah, you You know what I mean? You really did work hard You were there Some would say I secured a spot In your tour I think so Some say I think you're right Some would say that Some would say Some would also say I could do maybe five minutes at the top You can host the show Okay You can host San Jose You can feature And I can headline Okay What do you think? Deal You can headline, that's okay We'll allow it Can I headline? You can headline That's okay Thank you so much For letting me Have you done stand-up? Is that your favorite character in Star Wars? The Sand People? Or Jawas I mean Anybody on Tatooine Probably you love I like the little guys with the hoods. Yeah, yeah. They're all tattooing. Jawas. Jawas? What you call me? Houdini! Yeah, I like those guys. He said that a lot in the movie. I don't know what Houdini means. Is it Houdini? No, they go Houdini! Oh, interesting. Are they like little Italians? These are the, they're called Tuscan Raiders, not Sand People. Yeah. But they're the Tuscan Raiders. I did relate to them. They look like the Raiders of Oakland a little bit. Yeah, but Luke never calls them Tuscan Raiders. He does, yeah. In the movie, he comes to Sand People. Yeah. And so does Obi-Wan, I think. Mm-hmm. But you saw the movie, right? I loved that. That part, yeah. So good. Yeah, so good. Classic Star Wars. So did you finish episode one of Game of Thrones? I got pretty close. You never, since we last talked, though. You just started? Yeah. You're talking the original, not the new thing that's out. You never saw the original. It just came out three weeks ago. Oh, my God. I've never seen it either. It was great. Whoa. Whoa. There's a guy, and he cut off a guy's head and did all that stuff. Hey, man. Hey, man. Spoiler alert. For Kat, who hasn't seen it. Yeah, yeah. Why haven't you seen it? Let's get down to this Why haven't you seen it? Because I think I tried to see it in the beginning And I was like okay I know what this is about I know the political And I think it's My ex-boyfriend at the time was like You gotta see it and I just didn't like that I just didn't want to see anything that he was seeing You know what? I think I have the same reason Not the boyfriend but the girlfriend thing Yeah that's why I don't really watch Basketball anymore I stopped watching football with Tim Tebow when he was on deck. Or whatever you say. Okay. Because that was it for me. Can we stick with Game of Thrones? Yeah, please. Tim Tebow, you know. You dated him? No, no, no, no. He wouldn't want to. No, I didn't date Tim Tebow. No, no. Wasn't he a virgin for a long time? Yeah, I think he was like a famous Christian. Yeah. We go back to Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones. Why wouldn't you like that? That's the only reason why you haven't seen that. Yeah. You're not a TV guy. No. Girl, I mean. Thanks. Yeah. So are you going to finish episode one or no? I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. I don't think you will. I don't think you're a TV guy. No. You didn't like it at all? That's fine. I thought you said you're going to watch it until the- I'm going to watch The Red Wedding. That, I'll give you my work. But you have to watch, finish one first. But that's the thing about it. I don't like- Wow, Trevor Long. Oh. Thank God. He's there. God. Sidehawks here. A star. Yeah, yeah. Do you say that because I'm in the Super Bowl? No, from your profile, you look like a hawk to me. Thank you. That's why I call you Sidehawks. From the side, you kind of look like a Haribo gummy bear. Here we go. You know what? And I'm not saying Haribo because it is a... Dude, it's the best brand. It's the best brand. Haribo gummy bears are the best. I love Haribo. Yeah, yeah. But you know how confident you've gotten? I think a year ago, you would have never slammed me back. Because I've done this show, and I know that you like zingers. You zip zaps off on this show I can't yes in You gotta come in with heat You're big on the nose train today I am on the nose train What was he talking shit about? Your guys' noses? Can I see your side profile? It's not the profile he has an issue with, it's the porous level What does that mean? Look closely at his nose and look at all the pores in his nose Trevor, you don't have to do this Oh yeah, that's a braille man's You got Schindler's List Written on your nose, dude I was writing a line. Dead Sea Scrolls that you can read. I would have never noticed that unless Bobby brought it up. But now you do notice it, right? Can you unsee it now? Please don't. Let's not. Yeah, I can unsee it. Rams is a great guy. He's a great comic, great guy. Do you know Cat much or no? Seen at the store but never met officially. Cat, Trevor. Great nose, by the way. Can I see the side profile? Oh. Is it German? French. Yeah. Okay. What is the stereotype of a French person? Kind of like... Bad smell in the pits? Smelly, yeah. Hairy armpits. Okay, well, spot on. Sluts. Okay. Rude. It's not true. Are French sluts? Menage a trois. What does that mean? You know, they're very sexual people. They're open. They're open sexually. Yeah. I feel like I could get laid there. Big time. Yeah. You think? Maybe once. I think Irvine. Irvine, California I think you get clean up in Irvine Let me tell you, what parts of the country do you think I do well in? Irvine Irvine, yeah K-Town, San Francisco San Francisco, good Korea? North or South? Hawaii? Destroy Hawaii Hawaii, where else? I think that's it Fine, please I think anywhere I really think anywhere How about San Jose? Lubbock, Texas Peoria, Illinois I don't do so well But who does well out there? Jacksonville, Florida You don't want to do well out there Jacksonville, Florida Actually, I did do one there Do one? Yeah, I did one there And she was hot I feel like the woman in Jacksonville Who wants to fuck you is going to be really hot That's a good compliment The one there is going to be really good Oh the one She's Jacksonville Only one If there is one There is one And you did Can we pull her up What do you have let's pull her up I get to get my phone back and show you Oh really You don't record with your phone in here I forgot it upstairs Like a 5G thing No, I mean, usually I do have my phone down here. I just don't have it right now. Oh, here's what girls in Jacksonville look like. Wow. One of those. The one's like a history book. Yeah. And also that's not accurate. There's not one gold grill. There's not one white girl saying the word white people can't say on there. I don't see an invincible tattoo anywhere. Yeah. I don't, explain that joke. Well, like, kind of a white trashy kind of tattoo and cursive. Invisible? Invincible? With Mark Wahlberg? Yeah. You know what? Let's just move past the jacket. No, no. I want to analyze it. It was an attempt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm here for. Invincible tattoo. Yeah. Okay. Can we come up with something else maybe? I don't see a- How about Backdoor Babe? I like that. Two on the nose? That was pretty good. Tap out logo? Whoa. Tap out logo. Oh, me on the nose? Speaking of on the nose, Jacksonville, you can find it right there. It's above, it's Dade County. Orlando? Orlando? Orlando's so big. For once, the nose jokes aren't on me, which is awesome That was a tit for tat We're even right now We are even Good call back Why isn't Steve on the show more often? Steve who? Your brother He's probably number one Lee, I'd say Out of the Lee clan Out of the Lees You know what? I would say he's number one as well That's nice I was really trying to rile you up and I got nothing You know what it was? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just feel like people in the comments are like, where's Bobby's brother? Yeah, yeah, I agree, yeah. You're not going to rile me up today. Good. Because you know why? I texted Santino and I said, what can I do to piss off Bobby before he ends the show? And he literally said, bring up Steve and the fact that he's not on the show. Yeah. That'll rile me up. So shout out to Santino. But it didn't, I like this mood you're in today. It's a pretty good mood because I'm on Lexapro now. Nice. Yeah, yeah. So I think it's. Wow. What do you want? Since when? A couple weeks. Okay. Congratulations. Congratulations. How do you feel? Ruminating thoughts are not as intense. Nice. Because I go into these loops, you know, and I start thinking about something. And I just get super depressed because I'll just think of negative things constantly. Even after the special, that week was terrible. Why is that? Because I think it was like I worked on it for so long. It was done. And I had so much anxiety over the year just even getting ready for it. And then once it happened, it went fine. But I went into a depression. I think mainly because I have to write another hour. Yeah, yeah. It's hard. Not for a while, though. You have like a year. Yeah. Put it out in five years, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can still run the same hour. Yeah. You know, honestly, I'll probably do another one three years. Really? Yeah. I like that. That's not that long. Three years. I think in three years I'll have one. I'll tour it and then do another one. How many have you done? One. Yeah. Shooting another one in March. March 13th and 4th. For who? For me. Oh, I don't know. Was it Pterodactyl? Pterodactyl was the first one, yeah. What was the first one? What was the first one? Prime. Amazon Prime. You sold it there. Yes, Prime. I don't have a buyer yet, but we're just going to shoot it and see what happens. I don't even care if it goes on YouTube. I feel like that's almost like second. That's like might be best case scenario because I already have the audience there. And you can just drive so many clips to it on there that I don't really know. Yeah. I'm honestly surprised you got a 4.3 out of 5. I'll take that all day. That's not bad. That's what I'm scaled usually at. 4.3 out of 5. But that's an 8.6. That's 86%. That's not bad. That's good. That's great. Did you choose? Oh, I like the whole 80s. Did you choose the background? Yeah, I chose everything. Wow. I was super hands on with it. Yeah. It's dope. It is. Your set design you showed me at the store Really sick You guys were both at the taping? It was awesome He killed it Did you show your cock and balls? No He didn't do anything negative Isn't that crazy? There was a little pube shot at the end That's where the credits are I did one pube shot At the final shot Just for funsies That's gotta be the hook That should be the thumbnail I genuinely believe that's true. No, because for many years, people were like, oh, you get naked. You do all these weird things. I don't have to do those things. I just do it for funsies. I think that's beautiful. But let them see a little cock and ball. Especially now it's on Disney Channel. With Hulu, they're like, we have one note. No penis, please. They had no notes, too, which is weird. Really? Nothing. Edict's already done, or they were there? No, but they were all there. and I asked, you know, is there any notes? And they're like, they don't have any. Yeah, the word about the next Marvel movie. Which makes me feel like they're going to go, oh, we're not airing this. No, no. They go, whatever, whatever. Throw it away. We fucked up. Give you a deal. But yeah, yeah. We're not airing this. What's the name? Have you said the name yet? Yeah, I mean, I think you said it here. I might change it. What's the working title though? Finally. Finally. Yeah, that's great. Oh, finally. Oh. It's spelled L-E-E. Is it L-E-E? No. Oh, it should be, right? I feel like that's good SEO, good search engine. You should do finally. Finally. L-E? I'm a no on that one. I'm a no on that one. Our pun in the name is a little tough. It's a tough one. Fellas, you already know what time it is. What time is it, Blue? I mean, you? It's time to chew. Yeah, it's time to level up, too. And Blue Chew just dropped something crazy. I'm talking next level championship belt, gold-plated energy, dude. Okay. Blue Chew Gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable ED brand. Whoa. I'm telling you right now, guys, I use this stuff. It's the best. And you don't need to use it. Yeah, but sometimes you want to. Sometimes you want to spice things up. 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And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. Thank you, Blue Chew. Price Picks. Price Picks. Price Picks. Price Picks. The game is almost here, baby. And there's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than Price Picks, where it always feels good to be right. and since the big game is right around the corner, that also means it's your last chance to get into the football action before the next season. So close out the season right with prize picks by getting $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. Wow. Are you going to be copying Bobby's lineup, Ramsey? I got a couple guys I follow, but Bobby's one of them. Well, my lineup has the Jets in it, and I don't think they're in the Super Bowl, so I don't think you should. But anyway, find your community on prize picks, right? You need community, right, Ramsey? It's a very important thing. With the new social feeds feature, You can share prize picks with your friends and copy lineups for winners with a single click. Copy lineups you like or use them as inspiration for your own picks. You can even follow prize picks partners like us and tail or fade our picks with just one click. All right, so the big game is coming up. Do we like Drake May for more or less than 220.5 Pass Yards? What about Drake? I go less. I go more, dude. It's a big game. Oh, I'm going more for Bobby, okay? Let's go Sam Darnold. More or less than 1.5 passing touchdowns. I go more. I go less. Oh, come on. Okay. Finalize the lineup. It's that simple. Yeah. Download the price. Do one more. Okay. Do we like Kenneth Walker for more or less than 0.5 rush or reception touchdowns? I think it's going to be more because that's a lot. That's very few yards. Yeah, yeah. I think less. He's going to have a bad good day. He has an ankle of vibrations. He has ankle vibrations, and I don't think that's good for the Super Bowl. Ankle vibrations? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Finalizing it right now. That easy. Download the Price Picks app today and use our code belly to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code belly to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Price Picks. It's good to be right. It's a tough one. Did you ever have comedy merch coming up that was like the pun or like quirky? Like it's like you flip the shirt up and there's a punchline. I think that was popular early on with road dogs. Did you ever have that? No, no. I never did merch. Wow. Never sold merch in my life. Not even a pube? But you've had. Oh, that's a good one. One single Bobby Lee pube? Yeah. That's good. That would go for a lot of money. You know, DNA. Yeah. Yeah. I'm scared of that. Me too. Because I do glue thumbs. What? What is this? Glue thumbs. What is this? See that wall? Yeah. So the glue? Yeah. Well, I'm obsessed with glue. Oh, I think I do. And I used to make glue thumbs. So you put glue in and then you peel it off. Yeah, but you have to do like 20 layers. In order for it to get a good... Yeah, so... Thank God you found Lexapro. Holy shit. Yeah. You're doing glue thumbs. And I used to peel it, right? And draw on it. And I used to... I thought to myself, should I sell this as merch? But I don't want a murder to happen and have them put my thumbprints all over the house. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like... Do you still do it or no? Cubes. I made a complete glue hand maybe a month ago on the road. It would be Pittsburgh. What inspired you to get into glue? Depression. No. Ed Gein. Ed Gein. No, no. It gotta be a middle school thing you know That you putting glue while driving Oh really And then you just do just do that Oh yeah I used to put glue and then It like somebody filming their Uber driver Truly Yeah, yeah. And he's got a DoorDash order. How long ago was this? This was our 11th vlog, so this means it was probably nine years ago. Nine years ago. Wow. Is it like a texture thing for you? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. You know what I also used to do? I used to buy brand new, this is back in that time, brand new converses. converse's and I should tie them to the back of my car. Like you just got married? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I would drive it from Phoenix to LA, dragging on the freeway. So they'd get weathered. Oh, and then you'd wear them? Then I would wear them, yeah. I did that shit in middle school. I wanted to be a skateboarder so bad. And they all had the, did you guys skate growing up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all had the tear right here from doing kickflips. And I couldn't kickflip. So one night I just grinded my shit on the skateboard. Yeah. And then one day they were brand new, and the next day they were just torn up. And they were like, oh, you must have skated hard last night. I was like, yeah. Pretty crazy on that grip tape. But yeah, I was such a poser, man. I just wanted to fit in. Yeah. I've done a lot of posy stuff. It's like also buying. So I wear Japanese raw denim. I don't know if I. Cut it. No, but I'm going to say it. The end down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and Christine Noem. You know what I mean? Really like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We call them freedom jeans now. Yeah. I liked it, George. Bob is ready to go in. Explain it. It's like freedom fries, but for jeans. Yeah, but explain why it's funny. You don't have to, George. Okay. Yeah. But you like the shoes now. What I would do is I would... I go to APC. What is that? It's a clothing store. Pacific Islander thing? Oh. And they have raw denim. They rent them out, so they'll get brand new raw denim, have people wear them for years, and then they buy them back and they resell them. It's like a surrogate. Yeah, it's a surrogate, yeah. And I buy them, and they're more expensive. After they've been worn? Yes. How does that work? They're more expensive after they've been worn? Yeah, because they're perfectly distressed. Oh. Yeah, yeah. So who has... Do you look up APC pre-worn, sold at the store? That's like that experiment in middle school when they're like, you have to watch this egg for like a week and you return it. Somebody has to take care of these genes to the perfect level and then return it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Explain the egg. Explain the egg. I never went to biologies. A chicken, but they'd make you, I don't think they, did they ever do this? It was placebo effect. I know what an egg looks like, so stop doing this. Okay, I know what an egg looks like. Yeah, thank you. So we're loose. But I feel like maybe that was just a placebo effect Or like it never really happened But I think in middle school You'd have to watch an egg for a week To show that you'd be a good parent Which is not a good Is this real? I think you're right We had to drop an egg off of like the third Falcony To see if it would crack Like we'd have to wrap it up And then it would Would you work for the Ford Motor Company? You know how they used to do that With skulls and stuff To test like seatbelts and stuff Like how to Anyway That's what we did, yeah That was a bad one too Explain it God damn We're all failing Yeah we all explain our shit Yeah I don't want to explain You're right I dropped the ball on that one It was a reference I was thinking I was thinking it Yeah but you didn't say it you know why It wasn't that funny She threw it out there explain it Why are we explaining so many jokes Explain it. You slept with a girl in Jacksonville. Explain it. Yeah. Can I tell you something that happened the other day at the comedy store? Please. I want to see what the correct reaction would be. Good, good, good. And I want to see if this person was out of pocket, because I don't think they were. But I didn't know how to react. So I was at the comedy store. And you don't know Catbird, right? I mean, you've seen her around, but you've really never talked to her. There's several people like that at the comedy store. I'm nice to them. I just never – I don't know their real names necessarily. You have fake names for them? He does have fake names. Yeah, I do. Yeah, sometimes if I give – what, give me some of the fake names? There was No-Neck. No-Neck? Who's No-Neck? Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he doesn't know that he's called No-Neck? He doesn't know he's called No-Neck. Yeah, Minion. There's No-Neck. There's Minion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aren't they the same people? This would be a fun game to see if I can guess who. No negative, maybe not the same people. They should not. Yeah, what else? Muppet. I was Holes for a while. Holes? Yeah. From your nose? Yeah. Damn. Joey is Muppet. Muppet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So if I don't know somebody's name, I'll just throw out a nickname. I'll just call him that. Like Rick Ingram, for years I didn't know his name. So I used to call him White Lightning. Oh, that's great. Honestly, even better than Rick Ingram. Yeah. Like a downgrade to go to your actual name. Yeah. Yeah. I thought the comedy story the other day there was a doorman that walked up to me I don't know his name I've seen him around just don't know anything about him he goes hey can I talk to you about it? and I go sure I thought he was gonna you know when a young comic wants to talk to you what do you think it's about? comedy it's about comedy or can I open for you or like I need some advice yeah and he goes hey this guy goes hey if you want to know about Jesus Christ we should get together and we should talk like excuse me yeah but like this was at the store yeah this gives like flappers energy yeah Burbank Ice House Ha Ha Ha yeah yeah that's Jesus at the hall yeah that's right and I go excuse me and he goes yeah but you know because I heard you on a podcast talking to a Christian and he's like, if you want to ever get together and talk about it, I'd love to do that. And I go, thanks, dude. See you later. And we kind of walked away from each other. Is he new there? No. No. He's super nice. By the way, in earnest, he's being really earnest. He's being earnest about it. He's not joking at all. He's not joking. Deeply Christian young man. Can we say the name and bleep it? No. I don't even think you know. No, no, no. There's no way. There's no way you know. Can I ask you a question? Were you coming from like a set? Were you in a good headspace when he asked? Oh, yeah. I killed. Okay, okay. That's the worst time to talk about Christ. I'll accept it. Talk to me after I bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kyrie goes wrong. It's like being coked out. I'm like, do you want to sober up? You're like, I want to keep this train going, dude. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm in a good mood. Killed. And also like, you know, I'm on a new medication. I feel not ruminating and when he brought it up I got trapped in my mind and there were so many different things that were going on and did you try to get him fired? the thought crossed your mind it did I need to I'll tell you why I'm going to tell you why is the younger generation now they don't know rules. Too confident you feel like? Way too confident and it's like when I was a doorman I'm just showing him a photo so he can really absorb Have you seen him before? I think so. He's not really around as much because he's a student I think. Like if I would have said hi to like Martin Lawrence in the 90s or Chris Rock I would have got fired. Is that really how it was? I still don't know. No but it was like I don't think that it would I think it would have completely ignored me. you know what I mean like hey you know what I mean yeah Joe Rogan did he have to park your car do you think he's putting like a rosary everywhere like a word of the demons yeah yeah then also do I am I evil that's another thing that you go am I the because he doesn't do that he would never do that with Sebastian he might though there's no way you don't think so Sebastian get married in the largest Catholic church yeah he's done yeah you're approachable to somebody who wants to convert you to a religion. You have a vulnerability. You look convertible. Oh, I'm not convertible. I didn't think I'm open, though. Okay. I think five minutes with my uncle you'd think about Islam. Five minutes? Five minutes. I think ten, but five? Ten minutes I'm in. You didn't say anything? You just left? I go, thank you. I didn't know what to say. That was nice. You weren't mean. I didn't know it was a guy. Thank you so much guy. And I walked away. And he was the first guy I called. Do you avoid him now? Or have you seen him? I haven't seen him since. Will you be avoiding him? Yeah, how about if he comes up to you? I want to know how you're going to follow up with this. Because this is pretty... I think he'll be nice. I think he'll pretend like nothing happened. Well, I know his name now. Yeah. So now I'll go, hey, ****. Okay, bleep. Oh, bleep that. We spent this whole time trying to... If you didn't know his name, what would you call him? What nickname would you give? Yeah, that's what I wanted to know in the beginning. What was his nickname before? Gee, that's another thing. I think it's probably He wasn't even in the realm of nicknames. Wow. You know what I mean? He was NPC for sure. You're in a bad way. It's like saying Non-playable Christian. Say hello to the one of those Oh, shit. Yeah, he was a non-playable Christian. That's tough. But funny. He's funny? He's a funny guy. Very funny. I looked him up online. Yeah. You know what I mean? and he's got potential. Yeah. Yeah, but there is a part of me that was found in offensive. I don't think it's offensive. He never even said hello. As a first conversation, that's a little interesting. To open with that, to me, it was dark. But God people, and listen, I love God and Jesus and all that, but they'll stand out front of crypto.com with a megaphone. They're not asking for like, hey, what's your name? Where are you from? Have you heard about our Lord and Savior? They're just in it. They don't have any social regulation. They're just like, here, let's talk about Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. I want to know, Kat and Ramsey, has he approached you to try to convert you guys? No. He knows I'm steadfast in Islam. I would never. But he's never come up to you. He's never. No, which is actually really offensive. Yeah. He doesn't want to save your soul. What the heck? Yeah. I'm going to give you an example of why it's weird. Okay? so many many years ago when I was living in San Diego I had met the shores okay and I was also heavily in AA right and Mitzi said something I forgot what she said but it really hurt my feelings yeah and I went to my sponsor my AA sponsor and I go now granted I'm a doorman in La Jolla at that time I had probably had one conversation with her I had just gotten passed she was super intimidating and I was just relaying this to my it hurt my feelings to my sponsor you know what you need to do then because this is what we do as an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous is sit down with her and say that you have a resentment you know what I mean and that it really hurt your feelings you know what I mean and I looked at it and I go the same rules don't apply to show business you can do that at Home Depot or any other place you know what I mean but that does not apply to go to Mitzi Shore and to do that there's just no way so I never did that I think the same rule applies to this situation he shouldn't come up to you I don't think so you're Mitzi in this situation I'm just hold hold hold piecing this together no I think the rules have changed and maybe it's different now. But I'm just saying, at that time... Would you say that you're also more accessible than most comics? That's what I want to say. You're so friendly with everyone. Bobby's very nice to the door. I don't know if friendly is the word. Yeah, I wouldn't say that. Right. Available? You smoke more cigarettes than most, thus you're on the patio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thus approachable. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're most available. I'm available. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the friendly. Because I've known about you for my whole career, but I feel like I would see you, and I didn't approach you until I heard you say something nice about me on this podcast with Bad Friends. But up until then, I just had not moved on. Yeah. As like a sign of respect. But that's how I'm like with other people. Like, I didn't talk to Spade until he talked to me. Yeah, and you had to put a wig on and wear a bra. You downfired that? I downfired it, yeah. No, you're quick today. Very good. You don't have to explain that. I get it. Good one. Doubtfire. Don't explain? Don't explain. Is there anybody you would take that advice from? Like if Santino said like, hey, seek God, would you? Or you think it's a bit? That's another thing. All right. In my mind, I was like, who could do it? And I think God knows that the only way that I can convert it is if it was like DiCaprio. That's hilarious. If he used DiCaprio. He might be at a different church. That's for the science and anthropology. But you know what I mean? It's got to be like Barack Obama. League of Obama came up to me. You know what I mean? What is it like 2010s celebrities kind of thing? No, you just need credits. You need a good IMDb. No, it's not credits. It's got to be something that's like... Simon Cowell. Randy Jackson. Let's go through the list. What's the lowest celebrity that could get you is now what I'm interested in. Quentin Tarantino. Quentin Tarantino. Maybe I'm shallow. Do you think I'm shallow? I think that's what... No, but it feels like an attack. It feels personable. Because it's not even about the religion at that point. And so he looked at me and saw that I needed help in some regard. So now it's about you versus the religion in my perspective. No, the reason why he did it, it wasn't because that he mentioned, well, I heard you on George Janko's podcast. What's a God podcast? What? Isn't that a God podcast? Yeah, so that's why he got, I heard you on that. So if you ever want to talk about Jesus, let's get together is kind of a thing. This all feels very friendly. Now it's starting. The more you keep explaining. It feels like very genuine that he's just like. No, you guys aren't understanding what I'm saying. Stop giving more details. Keep it more. What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, if I'm working at an Apple store, here we go. If I'm working at an Apple store, I like this. Right, and I was a Christian, and when Steve Jobs was alive, he just happened to be visiting the store. Are you Steve Jobs in this situation? Steve and Missy Shore, Steve Jobs. Are you God in this situation? It's an extreme example, right? But I don't think an employee would walk up to Steve Jobs and go, hey, do you want to talk about Jesus? Yeah, for sure they wouldn't. You might walk up to Bobby Lee, though. Maybe their manager. All right, so what you're saying is that I have no power. That's not true. He's an employee, and you're at the Genius Bar. It's not, you know, that's the... Oh, you're a shift leader. But like Palo Alto, Palo Alto, like where it all started. Palo Alto, Palo Alto, Bobby. Oh, headquarters. that's like you being like I'm Martin Luther King Jr. we're all ready okay alright so so in that situation I'm Jesus Christ himself okay I'm pinned to the cross and you're gonna come up to me and tell me about myself okay okay I think you're right I think you're right maybe you're right you were gonna say something George no yeah you were got your hand up no no a long time ago okay I do think it is weird that he approached you if that's the first thing ever said to you, but I do think he was trying to help because he heard you on a podcast. He was trying to help. What to do, what to do. What did you say on George Janko's podcast maybe sparked me? I want to find Jesus someone helping me. Some younger voice from the comedy scene, please seek out to me. Yeah. But I also thought this is that if I do die, I'm in like judgment, right? And they go, you're going to hell. And I go, why? Well, we sent people down. And my mind is, oh, that was my way. Because he would be the guy. He's a pure soul, this guy. I think God would do, yeah, there's no way. You think God's coming down as Leonardo DiCaprio? Yeah. But if you really want to get to Bobby, it's not through a comedian. You got to send like some riot chick, big rack that's like, have you heard about the Lord? And you're like, go on. Yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If God were to send somebody down to you, maybe through the form of, I think that God would send a messenger that I would listen to. Sidney Sweeney. He did. Didn't he send exactly this person? He's like, I tried in Jacksonville. It didn't work. Yeah, yeah. Didn't you date a lady who went to church? What? Oh, my God. I did. You dated a worship leader. I did. A horse leader? No, it was a horse. A horse leader? A horse leader? It was a horse girl? Yeah, yeah. It's weird that we're just saying people can convert you based on their IMDb's or how popular they are. No, but what I'm saying is that if it was like Mike Tyson probably could convert me. Oh, 100%. Another 100%. Give me some names, and I'll tell you who. We have to find the Lord. Trevor Wallace. What? Trevor Wallace. I'm Jewish. Welcome aboard. We're not doing well. No, but what did I say? Uh-oh. I would have a conversation with him, though. You know what I mean? Yeah. If he really tried to convert me, Trevor, you did. But you would listen. I would listen. All right? So what I'm saying is give me some names. I'll tell you if I would or not. Where it stops. Okay. Jake Johnson, New Girl. Jake, yes. Oh, okay. Annie Letterman. Nope. Josh Peck. There we go. Yeah, you will. See, this is where I'm interested in, the line. Where's the line where we go, nah, I'm not listening to that guy. You love him, man. I do love him. Maybe I will. Okay. Yeah, maybe I will. Gypsy Rose. What? Gypsy Rose. Nope. That's a good one, though. There's no way. No. Craig Robinson. You have to. He was on The Office. Yeah. Do you see those stats? I don't know if he likes me. Why do you say this? So it's only people. I like you and have credits yeah I can't imagine him doing it do you have a dream person who you kind of hope speaks to you about this oh cool yeah if it was like Dr. Dre yes anyone from NWA anyone from NWA Candace Owens Candace Owens for sure how about Puff Daddy Erica Kirk Jay Z You have to listen. He's got the fireworks and everything. You got to listen. Dr. Dre. That's why. He has to do it. Easy E. His ghost? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Holy Spirit, yeah. Yeah, it just depends. How about you? Who could convert me? From Judaism to Christianity. What's funny is when my dad proposed to my mom, he was Christian. And when he proposed to my mom, before saying yes, said, will you convert to Judaism for me? And he said, yeah. But before saying yes to the ring, she asked that. Wow. But like what a pressure moment. That's a lot. I've already got the real love. You're signing the lease before it dries. Like, hey. That is real love though. For your girlfriend, would you? No, absolutely not. Would you what? Convert. Convert. So you don't love her? No, I'm just not going to. That's real love. What he did was real love. His parents, real love. My girlfriend is Jewish as well. Converting to Judaism is so much work. It's not. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. Is it? I'm in it and I don't even know. Is it hard? You got to study. You gotta go to stuff Are you sure? This is what I would say Do I have to study? No but if they said no I'm not studying I'm not reading any of the books I'll do it just to do it What would you do then? Just sign up kind of? I would just convert What does it matter? I don't even know how it works I'm not doing any work What do they read the Quran? Torah. Torah, yeah. Is that yours? I'm the Koran. Yeah, you're Koran. You're Torah, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won't read any of them. Oh, now that's the word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you're just being hurtful. Yeah. I mean, I would read like a note from that wall. Zog, doc. you know oh my ankle hurts oh yeah big time that's a big problem for you what do I do I guess you could try to go to a doctor but that might take forever it'd be so expensive then what would I do I think you gotta you gotta go to ZocDoc exactly because why wouldn't you do that you do that with everything else right of course you read reviews on what restaurant you don't go blindly to a restaurant you probably do no no no if it says halal guys you'll go but most of us you know what I mean we read reviews yeah and I do that with my health as well. You got to. And don't go, stop going to the hell all guys for your heart and your body, okay? 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ZocDoc.com slash belly. Thanks, ZocDoc, for sponsoring this message. Now you're just being hurtful. Yeah. I mean, I would read like a note from that wall. Okay. What wall? Wait, what wall? I don't know the name, but I know there's a wall. I went to that wall. What the hell were you doing there? Jerusalem, right? Yeah. Show them the photo. I went to the wall, and I stuck a note in there. The Great Wall? Of China. What were you doing in Israel? And there's so much wall to do it So it's a lot of wall What were you doing in Israel? Doing a funny bone out there? What is going on here? That's the wall And you have these photos pulled up so quickly This is crazy I did a little note and I stuck it in the wall Do you remember what you wrote? It was about pussy Oh my god Can you get me more pussy? It was about a girl Can you get Sabrina to like me? or whatever. It was like something. I bet a majority of those notes are there. Oh, was it a... Who was that? Me, Greenberg, and Byrne. Do you do something for the IDF? Yeah. No. What's that shirt that I'm wearing? Bob Dong. Bob and Doug. Doug McKenzie. Oh, yeah, from Brewster's. What's that movie? You went out there to perform for the troops or no? Or you were just on birthright? Oh, that was us again. Jamie Chung. It was... Jamie Chung went. Wait, is that who I think that is? It was just a free trip from Israel, right? Did you see Epstein in the back? What it was was they used to bring groups of celebrities out there free. And you get to the first class, five-star hotels, all the meals paid for. They give you big tours of everything. But every day you have to tweet positive things about Israel. And it was... Did you know that before going? Not really. Oh, so you're in Israel, and then you're like, wait, what do I have to tweet? It was hard to tweet because I did the first tweet, and it was bad. It was in German. What was the tweet? It was, what? Oh, this is beautiful out here. Thank you for the, you know. Like hummus and stuff? What? BB's great. Nothing weird going on here. Yeah, yeah, stuff like that. Everybody seems happy. Yeah. And then the comments were, oh, my God. It's a hornet's nest you don't need to rattle. It's a heart of a good... You said, yeah. It's a heart of a good... Yeah, let's talk about Groundhog's Day. Hooks of Tawny Phil. You think he gets pussy? You don't do politics in your act? No. Yeah. You don't talk about politics in podcasting either, right? You and Michael still do it? Yeah. Yeah. What a great guy. Great guy. Really moving tickets. Very funny, man. He's so funny, that guy. He really is. His energy is electric. Yeah. It's hard to get two guys at the same level almost in terms of talent. You guys meet a lot of porn stars, don't you? We stopped doing that a while ago. It just got weird when you're at an airport and some drunk guy's like, what does Bonnie Blue smell like? Yes, latex. We had Bonnie Blue too. So we had Lily Phillips and Bonnie Blue on, and Lily was super funny and good riff, and then Bonnie was kind of just more like, like you'd make a joke and she'd be like no I like getting railed by a thousand guys where was that doorman when she was there I think after that we were like okay we hit the Mount Rushmore of people who do porn we just kind of stopped we just thought it'd be funnier just to be ourselves or just like have other comics in and what not I mean I support people that are in the adult entertainment industry but would I when I have porn stars would I date them? I don't think I would. Why not? Have you never? No, I've never have. Is that just because you've... Really? Yes. Explain yourself. Yeah, yeah. I haven't. But you've never hooked up with one? No. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Jacksonville, for sure. Yes, I have. But more OnlyFans people. But where does the line blur? Because you had OnlyFans, and they're doing the same shit, just different website. They're showing butthole and everything. Usually you're like, oh, it's probably just lingerie. You get a one Reddit thread, you're like, why is there a lava lamp in there? Yeah, yeah. But some OnlyFans only show, they don't show sexual. But it gets there. You think once you do, like, I'm only going to do nudes, you think eventually one does? I literally think it's a gateway drug to porn. Yeah. Once you start the OF, even all the comics that are doing like OFTV, I'm like, they're showing cocks soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like one dark joke turns into anal pretty quick. exactly I just think it is slippery it starts with like lingerie then people get bored of lingerie then they're fine one nip yeah I mean if I could get views on OnlyFans using my butthole and I was making Bonnie Blue money or these kind of people's money they're making so much money then I would probably do it me and Ramsey would do sexual things I would do it 100% which hole sorry I've known this guy for like a decade plus I love him thanks for being here great guy Pat, bro. Yeah, that was really quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think we're out of this bit. Yeah. No, it's not. I was thinking about which hole in the nose. Probably the one that's like 90th out. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. 2,000th to the right. Send me the coordinates later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should have done coordinates. That would have been fun. Longitude latitude. Edit it in. Edit it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would have mattered. Like 2,000. That was not good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm analyzing everything today, right? Yeah. But would you like, so how about this? Us four, right? If we all made $250,000 a month, right? And we all four, and we had a quick comedy, and we just all four had to have sex with each other. Would you do it? Cat's face almost died. Yeah, yeah. I'm just confused on like what the mission statement there was. So we just quit comedy. How about you? You're not involved. You're just directing. But you have to quit comedy. You have to direct these things. Full time. But it's us three. I don't think you would do it based on your face. Yeah, yeah. I might go down even to 10K. I'll be reversed on the negotiation. But that's because right now you're not there yet. No, no, no. What I'm saying is that in two or three years, you're going to be making great money. That's awesome. Because you were once at his level. No? Yeah, I mean, I've known Ramsey for like... He's a talented guy. No? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is getting weird. I don't know why. I think for both of you, I think that you guys are a couple years away from making pretty good money in the business. I think you went from really good to pretty good. Kind of an average? In like two to three years, you'll be getting, you know, bare minimum. Yeah, yeah. You'll work at a... No, but you'll be making the $10,000 a month. So we have to have sex with each other now? No, I'm just saying Forget that Let's move on from that I'm now going to do more of a positive thing That's Alexa proton I like it All three of you are zinging today Some failures, but I think We're all in the pocket What do you think? Doing great, it's a batting average Either strike out or you get a grand slam I just throw it out there absolutely volume shooter as they say it's a volume shooter but when you hit you hit you've got some good singers today thanks Bobby I'm being genuine I love doing this show but you two don't want to worry what do you think I agree Trevor and I I've never seen Kat go up but I've heard great things and you just had a Don't Tell special drop plug it Thank you. I have a Don't Tell special out. Bleep that out. But yeah, I haven't seen you go, but I hear a great thing. Thank you. That's really nice. Yeah. And now Ramsey. How long have you known Ramsey? Oh, through open mics on the West Side. Old school days. For like 2016. Were you guys friends in the open mic times? We were definitely not. I would say we were not friends. We weren't enemies. But I remember hosting an open mic, and I drew Trevor last in the West Side. And I literally just, the only person in the audience was me. So I just went and sat in the audience at the Westside Comedy Theater to watch you do three minutes. Wow. Those 1 a.m. bucket pulls. Yes, dude. Because the Westside, they pull 25 names out first, so you're so excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then throughout the night, you realize that you could be that last spot. It's almost worse than if you didn't get pulled. That was my first ever open mic was being the last slot at the Westside Comedy ever. Why do you stay? Because you're— You don't know. So you pull 25 names. Yeah, but by the second to the last guy, you know. Yeah. You would leave, right? Yeah, I would leave. Well, you've waited so long. Yeah, exactly. I left the other night where I saw Sebastian go up, but then I saw that Sebastian had a 30-minute spot, and I just went home. I think I would leave in that situation, the West Side situation. I had to stay. Well, they don't tell you when you're going to be out of the 25. So like 50 people sign up, and then they pull 25 up top, so there's hope in that 25. You know you're going up for sure, but you don't know if you're going to be the very last, or one through 25. Oh, I see. You have hopes because you go up through like 1 through 10, you're like, this is a packed house. That's nice. It's packed? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. It was a great mic. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's still going on? I think so. Yeah. And the booker is there, too, so sometimes he helps you get into the club. Oh, I see. What's the club? Westside. It's on Santa Monica, right? Yeah. Didn't Neil Brennan have a show there? Yeah. I used to play there. He did Tuesdays there a lot, too. Yeah. It's a great spot. I like that spot. But yeah, you are sometimes going up very last one in the morning. Wow. Just me cross-armed watching Trevor Wallace. Like, this kid is cooked. Probably wasn't good. I'll say that. But yeah, I remember there was an outside mic somewhere in like Marina Del Rey. It was like in a shack behind a coffee shop. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Venice Grind. Yes. That's where I heard the McChicken antibiotics joke. Is that your joke? That's my joke. Remember any of my jokes from the night I went up at Westside? I remember all this about you. I thought we were tit-for-tat in this bitch. Yeah, yeah. I'm a little moved right now, Trevor. I'm really moved. That moved me a little bit. Well, you see a lot of people out there, and then you start to see the same faces. And so many people kind of fall in and out of it. But when you just see the same exact faces, there's a trust in your head where you're like, okay, I might not know this person, but I know that they're dedicated about it. Wow. So now, because I haven't done – I don't want to – I'm not bragging. I'm just saying I'm old. Yeah. Right? But I used to do it. All this stuff reminds me, because we used to have a brew house in Westwood that was that kind of thing. I remember Barry Sobel being there. I feel like this mic was legendary. People talk about this mic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was still a mic, and you had to wait there for sometimes hours to go off. Was there a room that isn't around anymore that you missed? It was like the Mecca. I know people talk about the parlor used to be great. Parlor was okay, but Dublin's was the greatest room. Where was that? You don't know about Dublin? And what is it now? like an Alfred coffee? Yeah. I think it's empty. I hear places, there was like two places that like Jay Davis ran and that's like where Dane Cook grew up. Yeah, that's Dublin. Was it Dublin? Yeah. And it was a good room? Tuesday night Dublin, it was, oh my God, can I tell you about this room? Is it downtown? No, it's right across the street from the comedy store. It's between the comedy store and the laugh actuary. The little goochs of comedy? Yeah. What like? So, it was Tuesday nights upstairs and Dane was sort of the focal point of the show. But you would walk into this packed room and it was, there's Justin Timberlake, there's Cameron Diaz. I mean, everyone was there. All people who could convert you. Yeah, all convert. Everyone in there. To every religion. But you'd also have every agent and manager. I gave Becky, I mean, just everybody was there. At the open mic. No, it was kind of a book show. Book show. And you would perform and if you killed, you would walk off stage. I'm not kidding you. And you just see business cards from everyone. What? You're old. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty old. A strike. I can't get you off today. It was a quill. I can't piss you off. I love this energy. I think it's wrong. No, no, no. I think the Lexapro maybe is wrong because normally when you would have said these things, I would have gotten angry. We also brought the door guy here to convert you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on in. And what year was this show? What years were in the prime? No, this is in the early 2000s. Okay. Yeah, 2004, 2005. That used to be something that aren't? Why are there so many questions about it? We're just interested in the history. Yeah, you're our elder. Yeah, I don't know. You're trying to question us to see if I did open mics. No, we know you did. We know. No, but these were good shows back then. Yeah, but there were... Questioning whether you did open mics. But a lot... Do you guys know who Jordy Fox is or Jordy Elder? Uh-uh. Okay, anyway. Explain No because he worked for ATC for a very long time He's an executive He worked at Comedy Central as an executive But he was a stand up at one point And him and I have had many war stories About certain gigs That we would just sit there for hours There'd be no audience And we would still go up in front of nobody And this is for years we did that You ever bomb in front of somebody really important? Oh my god yeah all the fucking time What are you talking about? Can I tell you the war story? Yes we would love that And one day my manager, and I almost fired her for this. I should have fired her. I go, I had a Montreal showcase, but she set it up at Freaky Mondays or something. It was like the chocolate sundaes. Back then we had like these black nights, you know, chocolate sundaes. I think that's Munderays. What? Munderays. No, no. One was called Freaky Mondays, Fat Tuesday, right? Chocolate sundaes. Chocolate sundaes. Yeah, yeah. I mean there was all these rooms I don't know what you know what I mean chocolate one I did what are the chocolate ones yeah I don't know of the flavored ones I did but there you go is that better yeah but it was so not only did Montreal come out but Abby goes I called everybody Will Smith's production company I mean all these fucking people why Will Smith I don't know because she had a big production company back then oh wow and she invited like half the town and I was about to go up but then somebody comes up to me and goes it's an old black room and I don't generally do good because what happens is I have a Southern California kind of a vibe but for some reason when I'm around Mexicans or black room I change my accent hey bro how you doing you know what I mean that's a Mexican you ever do that? all the time. Yeah, you code switch. But I'll never code switch in front of a Korean though. That feels the worst. That feels the worst. Hey, what are you doing? I want to be in the same environment as everybody. I want to be on the same wavelength. I love white rooms. What's up, everybody? Good to see you. Dagnabbit. What a great show. Okie dokie. All that stuff. Hope you filed your taxes. Yeah. So anyway, so some guy came up to me and goes, listen, these two kids are going to go up before you. And I go, who are they? They're like seven, eight year old rappers. What? Yeah. And I go, all right. And they go up and say, they're supposed to do one song. They're on their third songs. And they're getting standing ovation. Oh, no. And then the host goes up and goes, you guys have to leave because we have other comics, right? And they never left the stage. And what the host did was, brought me up while the kids were still on stage. Oh, God. Were they rapping to your set? No, but they were like, You know what I mean? Doing stuff. In the background. Interpreted dancing to your joke? Yeah. And as soon as I opened my mouth, I fucking... Said the N-word? Bomb. You Kramer? Yeah, yeah. It was bomb. And my friend Jonathan Gottschick, right? It was at the improv. And I could see him, you know, at that doorway area. Of course I. And I could see his face. And I could see him go, shake his head like this. And go... Like, we locked eyes. and I almost started to cry. Oh, yeah. I bombed that hard. Do you remember your first sentence out when you were on stage? Like, to make you bomb? The first, my opening line didn't work. Oh, no. I used to mess my hair up. Oh, yeah. Right? Yeah. And my opening line was, I'm not really Asian. I just woke up. On paper, that should work. No, that normally don't work. That normally works. I'm dying. But if it doesn't work, I'm fucked. I used to get in my head. What's your backup? There is none. Right? So I'm like, if that doesn't work, because that's like a strong, back then was my strong opening. Yeah. Right? So I said it, I go. But I said it more, you know what I mean? A black set? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm not really Asian. I just woke up. And he ate it. And then I see Jonathan shake his head. Have you ever seen somebody get booed off stage? I saw it once in Sacramento It was riveting to see Have you ever been booed? Because I said the wrong football team or something The bills suck And then all their testosterone comes gargling out You saw a comic in Sacramento get booed off stage? Yeah, this guy Lance Woods Is a Sacramento comic I was doing shows of the Punchline years ago He was like, dude, come to this room It's an urban room, you should do it And the guy in front of me I'll never forget this picture He's a white guy in shorts and he starts talking about his getting his ass ate by his girlfriend and the crowd was not having it white guy in shorts yeah white guy in shorts and you hear a guy in the back oh hell no yeah yeah next yeah next starts jiggling the keys and they go get him off stage get him off and i was up next so white on white already but threw him under the bus and immediately got a pop i was like i'm white but i'm not that white and they're like but it was yeah wow wow wow wow wow yeah you had to take your shorts off and be like, oh, fuck. Oh, yeah, they're jorts. They're jorts. But, yeah, that was the first time I ever seen that. Did you console them afterwards, this guy, or no? Fuck no. I didn't associate with him at all. I was like, what? The audacity of white people, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said I was mixed or something. Part Russian or Welsh or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But seeing a guy before you getting booed to get off stage, because you hear about this shit, like the deaf gen, they're jingling keys, get off stage, boo. And when you're next in that, not a fun environment to be in. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he just leaves. He's like, okay, I got to get out of here. Oh, yeah, he didn't stick around. He went straight to Reddit and was like, well, I got a piece of my mind. I don't know what he did. I hate when people double down on their bomb. And they defend it. When I bomb, I go inside myself and I destroy myself. So I can rebuild. I never go, no man, that audience I was good, I never liked that Should I kill myself tonight? Is that you? That's even when you have an amazing set That was the worst thing I've ever done I never go, oh It was them I stick around to see the next comic to see Was it truly them? Or before you ask, sometimes I'll be at the store and I'll see Really great guys not getting big laughs And then I know I'll even ask them, was it they tough? think of the other fucking top you need that second person you need one extra I do I do I do yeah yeah I just sat um in the OR a few weeks ago and Tim Dillon was next and I was bombing so bad I saw him put his hands on his head oh and then I had to introduce him and he goes up and he does not as well as Tim Dillon well he does it he I'm like so embarrassed so I wanted to watch and be like okay I think it was me but the audience was really bad and then he comes up to me he goes those guys fucking sucked, huh? I was like, okay, that's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes they just suck there. Tim doesn't bomb a lot, but one time I saw him go up on a Girls Gotta Eat show, great podcast. Yeah yeah yeah And it was me him and one other person and he just wasn connecting with them for about 10 minutes And it pretty quiet And I loved him I in the bag dying And then he just flips And he goes, you know what? Fuck all of you. I have a Bentley out front. I drive my Bentley to the Hollywood Hills while you low, miserable fucks are paying for comedy for a woman's podcast. Like this five-minute Bill Burr and Philly-ass speech. It was one of the best things I've ever seen. I like when Tim bombs because he doubles down. He's the best. He's the best. He got out of it. It was great. He's the best. He doesn't back down, which is amazing. Yeah, he just keeps it. Yeah. Yeah. It's what a great. Yeah. I once had the improv saw somebody walk out. They see me in the hallway. They're like, oh, what's up, Trevor? I was like, dude, Tim Dillon's on. You got to go watch him. He goes, I'm on shrooms right now. It is just too much. Which I totally get. I don't need to think about the Federal Reserve. I'm good. Yeah. He literally is one of my favorites to watch. So goddamn good. He's so good. Oh, my God. What? No, I just agree. I saw him in the main room a few nights ago. Yeah. We've seen him too many times. Okay. I was just. Have we not? Have you guys ever kissed? Yeah, we have. Actually, we have. We actually have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't say why. You can't say why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to say why. I got paid to do it. Yeah, she got paid to kiss me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of a. Like a make-a-wish thing? Like who's an acting thing? Who's an acting thing? Kind of an island situation. We'll talk about it later. It's an active thing. How much did you get paid? Not a lot. Under $100 or over? Over. Actually, yeah, over. Okay, you know what? I know you didn't get paid a lot, but you're doing me a big favor. And the benefits outweigh the money. That's true. She finds me disgusting. I do not find you disgusting. Yeah, you find me disgusting. You find me disgusting. I don't find you disgusting. I don't find you disgusting. Yeah, yeah. You said that. No, I didn't. You told me I was disgusting. No, I never said that. Yeah, okay. How did you get pitched for this opportunity? I love Catbird I think that she is out of the segment of what's at the comedy store right now that she's a rising star I believe that with Ramsey there's a couple of people I feel that about did you believe that with Trevor? sometimes I'm wrong by the time I met Trevor he was already doing well thank you no what I'm saying is that because I don't do the other shows I only do club shows as soon as you started showing up at the promoted shows. Like the Monarchs, these other things. That's when I would watch it and go, oh, this guy's great. But I didn't watch The Struggle. You're already established. Same with your Michael Blastine. Close enough. Blastine. He's a mixed. What's his name? Michael Blastine. Blastine. I think one time he took over a weekend for Michael Blackston. That's insane. That's a crazy one. And people cancelled but saw Blaustein and didn't read it again and they showed up thinking it was going to be him. Oh my god. Which is very funny. It's hilarious. Did they get refunds or? I mean. They probably enjoyed themselves. I imagine. Can we get a side by side? I feel like Michael might have a slight crossover. I feel like they probably like this. A little bit. Both funny. Michael does well in all rooms but Michael Blackston is one of the funniest guys. Yeah yeah. Oh, my God. Did he come out wearing like a dashiki? I hope so. Similar jaw structure. Wait, now, they must have walking to the club saw Michael Blostein's photo. Because sometimes photos are up. Yeah. And they probably were. They weren't surprised in the room, probably, no? They probably were. Yeah, I would imagine they were. Some of them, yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. But maybe they were like, oh, maybe I read it wrong. But he filled in a weekend for him, and people didn't read it. I got booked for a Henry Cho gig. People thought that I was Henry Chow Right And the day I was flying out It was a corporate gig Him, right The guy called me and goes Hey, I just want you to let me know You're not the southern guy, right? And I go, oh no, you're thinking about Henry Chow And they go, yeah Yeah, don't come Don't come? Yeah, I'm like, okay Damn Do you know Henry? I don't love him I love him I feel like He's a legend Yeah I used to really I enjoyed his comedy Central half hours Like one of the first ones I ever saw Yeah yeah He's great I like the denim Yeah Yeah And he is Korean You guys know Korean comics? I'm a big fan A few Yeah Okay name me three Korean comics Joel Kim Booster Oh Joe Koi He's Filipino Right? Look at this Oh my god Oh I guess you did the hair thing Yeah I'm Yeah that's what That was I did that on that show I'm not Bobby, I'm not going to lie. If you came out today and did that opener, I'd still die. It would work. I'd still die. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Do you notice my voice in that? It's crazy. It's very high. You guys want to hear a little bit of his voice? No, no, no. Please don't. Please don't. Just so they know. Just so they know. Okay, please. Just look high. All right, that's enough. I grew out my hair like this. I'm going to get this out of the way. Because Asian people look alike. And I want it to look a little different. But Asian people don't even know I'm Asian now. Your voice is so different I know he's stuck like this Do you know why? You're putting it on Chris Tucker Oh His Def Jam 10 minute set I think is like one of the best Because then That was when Chris Tucker Blew up As a stand up So I'm like Oh I'm gonna do a High pitched It's fucking stupid And then later I realized Oh just be yourself Yeah You're trying to be an Asian Chris Tucker That's hilarious That's Jackie Chan Yeah Many movies on it Yeah, the things that I went through, changes. Did you change a lot? Or were you always you? No, I think I had my changes. I think there's times where there was... When I got really big, it was when D'Elia was really big. Not when I got really big, sorry. When I first started, and you'd see so many people at mics, kind of like the mannerism, how they hold the phone, or not the phone, the mic, and a lot of that. And then a lot of people would do burn, stuff like that. But I think you try it all on, and you see what fits the best. But I think every guy is like, you know, parts of little pieces. You do it long enough to find yourself. Right. And it all shizzles away. Because we all had a specific cadence that we just watched on TV. Oh, this is how you're supposed to do it. Well, I like Dave Vittell. So I'll do it. Yeah, it's like wine. There's notes of other people that you could see in there. But then one day you're just kind of – I mean, when you – because when I look at you, all three of you, I see you. I don't see other people. Yeah, yeah. Early days, I put on a voice. I had like a weird... What was it? I was like, hey, what's up? It's really bad. Oh, like a Rodney Danilo? I don't know. I was trying to sound grittier, I think. I don't know. I thought I was supposed to... I'm from the East. I'm David Till. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Really bad. Take my wife, please. She has a hijab. Take my wife. Whatever. What do they wear? Hijab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got a hijab. Yeah, hijab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beautiful. wear though. Thank you for saying that. I appreciate that. What's the point of a hijab? To protect a woman's modesty. Sexism. Oh, is that what it is? Are they breathable? Yeah. How has Under Armour not been like, we got plans for this? They already do. Bro, my mom's got some Nike hijabs. Oh, the Olympics too, right? Can you know a woman's hot just by this area? Okay, Bobby. No, can you? Can I? Yeah, I could. Oh, no, the hijab is the whole thing. Oh, shit. Is that a shy steed? It's not the eye thing. But that's a shy steed. That's like what they're wearing oblongs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there's a Nike hijab? Yeah, 40 bucks. I think Kanye makes... Oh, dope. That shit is hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can tell she's beautiful. Well, yeah, you can see her face. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to be blurred out during this part if possible. Are you being real? No, I'm kidding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm kidding. You know Ray Charles used to, like, touch the wrists of women to see if they were pretty. Really? I could tell a woman Can you tell? I could absolutely Just on wrist alone? Yeah I would think Trevor's a beautiful woman If I felt his wrists I think I'll face out my wrist now No, I would be like You know what? I'd go with you I'd go maybe If I can't find anybody else Yeah, yeah I'd do your wrist Yeah I'm a 2am joy 100% Can I feel your wrist? Yeah, yeah Go ahead Close your eyes up Pretend you're blind Yeah, yeah Yeah, I'd get a pacemaker on this I would lower your cholesterol immediately Yeah How much you sleep a night? Good risk. Smooth. I'm getting older, man. I don't have high blood pressure. I'm trying to do better about my eating. Ray Charles, do you think people lie to him a lot? Oh, yeah, of course. Like him particularly or just black? Well, like if I was Ray Charles' assistant or whatever, and Ray's like, hey, that girl I met last night, she hot? I go, yeah. Even if she wasn't? It was a dude. Yeah. You probably stretch the truth a little bit more. Yeah. I would want specifics if I was blind. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Let's see. Okay. Especially when he's paying me. You guys are my team. Sure. All right. Okay. Hey, boss. Hey. Hey, what's going on? Hey. What's going on? You got a 2 p.m. today? A 2 p.m.? Yeah, yeah. Just talking about your meetings and stuff like that. What's the weather like? It's pretty good. It doesn't matter for you. Hey, who said that? It's your wife. Trevina. No, that's Trevor. That's Trevor. That's very funny, Trevor. Anyway, after the show last night, I met that woman. Is this Chris Tucker again? Yeah. I met that woman, you know? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Cataliana. She's hot. So hot. What does she look like? Oh, man. Asian? Okay, I'm okay with that. I don't know what that means, really. He doesn't. I don't know what that means. Oh, it's just exotic. You know, beautiful. You mean the eyes? I can touch the eyes. When I touched her eyes, I knew she was Asian. She was either sleeping or she was Asian. Anyway, because I'm Asian, right? I touch my own eyes. So she's Asian. What else? Great face. What kind of face? Describe the face. Slender. Good nose. No holes. Not like yours. Wrong guy. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. Give me your nose. I want to read a book. Anyway, thank you, Ramsey. And what else? What's the body like? Great abs. No hair on her tits? Oh, you know, I don't like that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. I can touch the breasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I know what they seem like. Yeah, okay, yeah. Seem. Yeah, the body. The body was probably a seven out of 10. Yeah. Oh, is that good? It's good. It's good. Bruises? Great, yeah. Bruises? A few. We were in Jacksonville. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's okay. It's normal over there. Yeah, where are the bruises? On the knees? A couple were sort of under the armpits. Face. Okay, okay. Weird place. What about skin? Black. Dark, like your vision. Real good. I see. It could be anybody. Yeah. What do you carry when you're blind anyway? What do you carry? No, what do you care? Oh. Like, visually, really. So if you were blind and some door guy came up to you and was like, do you want to talk about Jesus? What would you say? I'd be like, no, Jesus, fuck me. I was born with no eye. Blind. Yeah. I want to talk about Satan. I want to talk about Satan. Yeah. But, you know, if you're blind, you know, just as long as they smelled good. And sound good. And they sounded good. To the Titan. And they were nice. Right? And they just kind of felt. Yeah. You know what I mean? They could look like anybody. Oh, yeah. They got to feel good. Yeah, they got to feel good, I think. It's more about that sensation. That would just be crazy to have someone just touch you immediately, just to pet you to see if they like you. Oh, yeah, that is weird, yeah. Right? Yeah. And you have to be Ray Charles. Yeah. You can't be just like, you know. Just be like the guy. I make keys. You know what I mean? I'm a key maker. Not that guy, you know what I mean? Also, a wild profession for a blind man. Key maker? Yeah, that's true. A locksmith is blind? Really? Yeah. Heavy machinery. Yeah. What would be a good blind? Lifeguard. Pottery. Pottery. Why? Pottery. Because you're self-touched. Oh, it's self-touched. It's touch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Masseuse? Masseuse is a good one. Then that gets a little tricky. Oh, yeah. You're a little too low. Happy ending. Third leg. Oh, I see, I see. Yeah. I see, I see. Very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a, at Burke Williams, the most sought-after masseuse person was a blind Russian. And I had him a couple of times. And he was amazing. You prefer a guy? He was the best because he was blind. So... I know, he was just good. I think because his senses with his hands, it's more... Oh, shit. Did they have somebody walk him into the room? That's awesome. They take off his robe? Yeah. No, no, no. He's naked for some reason. We play Marco Polo. Marco, You go, Polo, he's in a different room. And that took about two hours. That was fine. That was the whole time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had a blind masseuse? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blind eyes, working hands, yeah, perception massage. I don't know about this. It feels weird, this ad, for some reason. Yeah, yeah. Because she's just like... Yeah. As long as he's Thai, I'd be okay with it. Today, no, that picture's been taken. Yeah. Is everybody blind? The person getting the thought. Yeah. No, they're all Asian, dude. You're Asian. The worst is on the right, asshole. What? I thought they were all blind. The ones that are doing the massaging are blind. All blind. That's the massage. Oh, you think it's a blind place for blind people, too? Everyone's blind. Can we flag this? There's a braille photo in the background like they can see that. But there's not braille on it. So why are they putting Braille in there? Yeah, yeah. Who is that for? Yeah. It's for the... Yeah. They feel good about themselves. Oh, look at me. I'm helping blind people. What else are you going to put there? Also, why does she have a watch on? Why does she need to know the time? Damn. Damn. Maybe it vibrates after the time is up. Maybe. Definitely one bad masseuse went in there and pretended to be blind. There's no question. The right time's not right, though. I'll tell you that right now. Yeah. Real fun jokes about the blinds That's crazy Yeah but I think your senses Right when you're blind Is more Heightened Your sense of smell And taste do you think or no Absolutely Daredevil The superhero Blind chef would be interesting Oh yeah blind chef one Has TLC done anything with the blinds That's a good question I feel like TLC loves a good disability. Something, yeah. That's how they pitch shows. They're like, yeah, it's cooking, but what if they couldn't see it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chopped, but we chopped their vision. Well, there's the blind photographers. You know that, right? What? Yeah, there was a documentary on HBO about a couple of professional blind photographers. It's like, this is a photo I got in the woman's restroom. Yeah. No, I didn't know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they can just send space on the environment? I think somebody tells them what to shoot. They have like an assistant So they have eyes Is this good? Yeah John, I think that's it More of a camera operator Can you look it up, the famous blind photographer This one is, the winner of MasterChef Season 3 was a blind woman Oh, if you lose to a blind woman, you gotta get out of a restaurant You gotta quit that day How do you feel about yourself When you demolish a blind woman in MasterChef Good, she's blind, I should be there Job well done I wouldn't beat her by like a lot But like a parsnip You'd have to go Listen I will We'll go 50-50 on that But she's blind You go 60-40 Yeah fair Did she chop her own vegetables? She has someone that tells her Where to chop Cheating Yeah she's got to chop her own vegetables I'm with you Don't you think? She was the blind one? Yeah She's so cute She's cute too Definitely helps that she's cute Yeah for sure If I was blind Would you say that I was cute or not? where you lie to me. Where are we on the tour? Are you trying to cross the street? Then you're a cute man. But we're friends. One day we're just hanging around and I'm a stand-up, blind stand-up. Right? And I go, hey guys, FYI, I just want to ask, I mean, would you guys consider me hot? I don't know. I've never seen myself. Am I opening for you at the time? Yes, you are. Yes, I would say you look beautiful. You're not opening for me. I'm not opening for you? Yeah, what would you say? I'd say, you look nice. Can I open for you? So you wouldn't say that So I'm not attractive What do you mean? You're attractive I think you're attractive Why don't you say that? But if you were looking I don't agree If you were looking If you were looking Particularly bad that day I wouldn't tell you Is what I'm saying Oh I see I'd let you live with that But in general You would say that I'm decent looking Yeah I would say You're a decent looking guy Interesting Yeah I think you're I would say that About all three of you Probably Yeah Should we start Our OnlyFans now? Yeah What do you think has been the hottest era of Bobby? Is it right now? Is it 10 years ago? Mad TV? Because now is better than the video that we saw earlier. What's this? The blind photographer. Yeah. Seja Korn? Yep. Like Korn the band spelled? That's cool. Bakersfield, I think. What is she taking photos of, though? Oh, she's feeling it. She feels it first. The lens cap is on the whole time. I want to show the world what I see. Yeah. I kind of fuck with this This is kind of sick It kind of feels erotic The way she touches I know She does like The portraits from middle schoolers She's like Hold still She's photographing herself Thinking she's looking at you Selfish style Oh so she does preparation Yeah Right She feels things out Right And Oh that's That angle is awful Yeah She's supposed to be Looking at the camera Yeah That's the most Fucked angle in the world How do you get the photo? How do you know that? Is that good? She's like, I'm at Disneyland, right? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's her husband. The guy is weird. Oh, that's her husband? Yeah, that guy rocks. Anyway, let's move on from this. She would rip on Kill Tony. Golden ticket winner. Yeah. Golden ticket winner. Have you guys ever done Kill Tony? I think when it first became a show, I did it in the belly room way back in the day. Yeah, but you would do it now. No. You would draw now. Would you draw? I don't think so Why? I don't know It's a lot of exposure I don't know It just doesn't seem for me You're Bobby Lee You have nothing going on in your life Is that something you would do? He already has nothing going on I would not do it Anything to promote? I'm shooting a special in Arizona March 13th and 14th Where are you playing? At the Orpheum. Oh, nice theater. And then I'm on tour, a whole Texas run, doing a bunch of places, St. Louis, Kansas City, Memphis. That's awesome. I already did Jacksonville. Great city. Alabama, Texas, Wyoming. Did you meet anyone in Jacksonville? I met a guy who was smoking a joint, and as I approached him, he put it out and stomped it out with the feet because he said, Oh, shit, I thought you were a cop. On brand for my face. Are these all theaters that you're playing? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, man, I'm in the middle of a tour right now, and it's been a lot of fun. Wow, wow. It's been a lot of fun. You prefer that over the clubs? Yes and no. I mean, it just depends based on... I think music venues kind of suck for comedy because they're dense, so the laughs kind of go up and down. But traditional theaters are fucking incredible. So much fun. Yeah. But there's just certain clubs that are just better than some music venues. Oh, that's the merch? Mm-hmm. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I hired a really cool merch, like downtown LA, like, you know, like ketamine type guy. And he's great. he just knows the vibe unemployed kind of guy he's the best dude he's so good good vibes but yeah I'm on tour right now at TrevorWalsh.com and I'm so excited for your special to come out just hearing what you did for yours with the effects is really cool now I'm like fuck I gotta up my game I don't know how it's gonna turn out but thank you it's gonna be great it's gonna be great everyone says it's gonna be great you've been edging everybody for 30 years I know this nut is gonna be tremendous I know just practicing your blind face Give Trevor Rodham applause Thanks for having me Always a pleasure coming on Music