Confessions Of A Redditor | Reading Reddit Stories

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And father, we have sinned. Okay. Can I be honest though, going to confessional as someone raised Catholic was very spooky. I never did that. What was the craziest thing that you confessed to? Oh, like I ate meat during Lent. They're always like, what are you going to give up? The priest just punches his arm through the chokes you out. Well, whenever they go give up stuff for Lent, you go, okay, vegetables. And they're like, no. Why not? Anyways. Oh, sick. Yeah, pretty cool. All right. Bailey has told me, I feel like this is going to be a really good episode. What? I feel like I love when I have an episode. It's like, guys, these stories are crazy. I feel very grateful because I feel like I'm in a lot of those episodes and I feel very happy. Yeah, you are in some insane episodes. Yeah. And you? And you? No, nothing, nothing unhinged has ever happened in one of my episodes. No. That's a lie. Definitely not. All right. So we have some stories that have confessions in them. And our first one is a very interesting one. So stick with me on this one. It's not going to go the way you expect. Okay. Here we go. This comes from Ask Reddit. So the post is actually a question that's asked and the comments will give answers. This was posted back in 2012. Ooh. This is an old one. It's a 14 year old post. Okay. So he's like, am I the asshole for party rockin? Yeah. Okay. They write, what's your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out? Someone commented, I run a cake business. I charge people hundreds for wedding cakes. Every last one is made using Pillsbury cake mix I buy for $1 a box at Walmart. I suck at baking. Every time I've ever tried to make a cake from scratch, it sucked. But baking is like my whole deal. My friends all call me the cake girl. It's like my whole life is a lie. People compliment my cakes all the time, telling me how delicious they are, telling me it's so much better than box mix cake, telling me they could never bake a cake so delicious. Well, guess what? For $1, they too can make a cake just as delicious. Just add oil, eggs, and water. In my defense, I love cake decorating. I make all of the frostings and fondant from scratch. I just hate, I just hate baking fucking cakes. I base my prices mostly on the decoration of the cakes and not on the cake itself, if that makes sense. Still, no one knows about this except my husband. Even my best friends think I fucking slave over the oven mixing and baking these damn cakes. I have been doing this for years. If anyone knew my business and reputation would be in the toilet for sure. I keep telling myself I have to learn how to make the damn cakes without the box mixes, but I never do it. I feel like such a sham sometimes. This person is raging. Ow. I can't believe myself. My fucking friends call me cake girl. And I hit them and they're like, why are you angry? They don't even know the truth. Maybe, maybe I'm off for this, but I don't really see much of an issue with that. He doesn't think it's a big deal. And I actually kind of agree with him. Because I think, I think like you still have to be, you still have to be good at baking to get it right. And also they're making all the fondant and other stuff from scratch. Like, and a cake mix. Honestly, cake, that's the easiest part. It's, it is the easiest part. It's just like the eggs, the flour sifting it and all that stuff. I don't know enough about baking. It's just specific measurements of like, okay, the butter has to be like the right temp and all that stuff. So they already did it for them. Is there a Pillsbury wedding cake mix though? Cause isn't wedding cake a very specific type of flavor? No. I thought wedding, I thought wedding cake has like a, no wedding cake can be whatever you want. I'm not gonna do whatever I want, but like the traditional wedding cake. It would just be white cake. Yeah, but I thought like, maybe I'm wrong. No, no, what, what, what do you think it would be? My mom has always said her favorite type of cake is wedding cake, but she, she has said like, there's an almond type of like flavor to it. No, like there's it. I'm saying like, it's a white cake. Yes, I understand. You could be right. But I think like traditional, traditional, like I understand people can do whatever they want, but I think someone like my mom, who's an aficionado of wedding cake, would be like, this would, she would, she'd find her. Someone, someone might clock it. It's the deal though. Sounds like she's doing a bunch of fondant and like decor on it. So they probably wouldn't even be able to taste it. And yeah, I, someone like me would not clock it because like you give me a cake. I'm like, all right. Look, I mean, the pills, I'm eating it so fast. Please do not slam any more cake. I don't want to be there to witness it. You're going to look away. It's gone like Batman. It's just in my mouth. Um, anyways, I think, I think the Pillsbury company figured it out. You know, you know, box is delicious. Probably millions of dollars in R and D, getting that box cake just right. And I don't think there's anything wrong to just, you know, take a little shortcut. You know, I'm sure, I'm sure all my, all my professional bakers at home can sound off. It sucks. I'm sure it's a lot of work to make it. It is a lot of work because the temperatures are everything. Baking is really hard. And you have to be very, you cannot mess around with baking. You have to be very specific about the ingredients, but she does all of her own fondant. That's extremely difficult. She typically does what I would assume is like, I mean, I'm not a baker, but I also want to know how much she's charging because if she's charged, she says, she says, she says, I what they're paying for is for the decoration and all that stuff. Yeah. But I'm like, if this is far cheaper than all her competitors, and I'm like, yeah, then you're, you're, but also in your business, are you saying that you're baking this from scratch? Are you lying? Of course. Then you're liable. Like that is, you are, you can be, you can be sued hard. I think she probably is. I mean, I don't think, I don't know how many people are like questioning the wedding cake maker. Like is it made from scratch? I think they're probably looking at the photos. And I think like wedding cake is more of like a statement piece. I agree. Like there was, there was an incident at our, that sounds wrong. So we had, we had, we threw this big 20 year anniversary party at the end of the year and we had a giant donut cake made, which I think actually YouTube brought for us. Whoa. Yeah. We did not know that it was a cake. We thought it was, we all thought it was decoration and nobody ate it. Nobody cut into it. We did not know it was a cake. No. It was a giant pink frosted sprinkle donut. Why didn't I get to that table? I didn't even get to that table. Did you? No. No, I was talking to too many people. It was sitting there next to all the desserts. Wait. It was like the churros. H had like a slice of cake. And like little treats. There's probably other cakes there. I think there was a lot of stuff. Yeah. There was a bunch of stuff and the donut was sitting right there. Wait, that's so sad. And this is like a, this is like a two foot by two foot. It was a big old donut. Like, like one foot high, maybe two feet high, kind of like. Does someone take it home? Well, I guess they gave it out to the staff. Hell yeah. Oh good. As long as someone had it. But, but yeah, nobody knew that it was actually cake and nobody ever cut into it. Is it cake? I would, I would eat that. That's also the problem is we live in an era where anything can be cake. That's true. It can be very confusing. Bring in Mikey Day and let's do something like cake. Yeah, let's do it. Hold on. Is this cake? Is this cake? Take a bite. Try it. Try it. This is microphone cake. Try it. I think obviously what we're talking about is the principle of this story and like, it's the principle of it of like, you can't lie and have your whole business model based on a lie. Like, I understand you're decorating them. You just be forthright of like, it's Pillsbury cake, but I decorate the fuck out of it and make it look amazing. If someone, if, if like someone was throwing a wedding, it's actually a very smart business model, I think, because everything wedding wise is so expensive that it's like, hey, I can decorate and make a cake look amazing. It's Pillsbury cake, but I will give you at a discounted price. So you get to the, the aesthetic and it's going to be a delicious cake still. And people would be like, hell, yeah, I don't care. Like wedding cakes are so overpriced unless they're like epic. Yeah. But it's, but stuff, wedding stuff is so expensive that it's like, but I need to know the price of this stuff. Because if she is charging a lot and it's similar to other wedding cakes, I don't think, but, but at the end of the day, it's basically the same stuff. It's still going to be flour and sugar. Yeah. But I don't know. I kind of get it. It's like, it's the print. If, if she's charging a lot of money, it is kind of the principle of it. Because I don't know. Like, I mean, do you do, like, what do you think the catering companies are doing for the rest of the food that you're eating at a wedding? Oh, I think some catering companies are doing like good stuff. I think it depends. But I think it's, but what matters is that they're honest about what they're selling. Sure. Sure. Really sticking with this. Comments. So I'm trying to start it. I'm trying to start my own wedding, wedding cake, beef company. I'm like, guys, it's fine. It's fine. It's okay. That's not just a crumble cookie that I put my name on. Yeah. Yeah. Comments. How does Walmart not notice you pushing a card out with hundreds of boxes of $1 cake mix? Whoa. OP says, haha. Well, I'm a home-based business. So I usually at most am buying 10 to 20 boxes at a time. I usually line the bottom of the cart with cake mix and then put all my other stuff on top, like 10 bags of powdered sugar. Then I use the self-checkout in shame and stack the boxes in my black canvas shopping bags. Yeah. My worst fear is running into someone I know, or worse yet, whoever the cake is for while I'm there with all these boxes of cake mix. That's why I act all shady about it. That's so funny. Wait, she should not be going out and buying that stuff. She should send someone else to do it because if she gets caught, her business is done. This is 2012 too. This is a Stone Age. Let's ask. You can't order it to your house. Oh my God, you're so right. Were cars invented? And cars weren't around then. Oh my God. It's a bike there? You have to, yeah. Wait, were bikes invented? They were freshly invented in 2012. Yeah, they're still, they're still the wooden wheels. Yeah. The big front wheel, small, tiny back wheel. Yeah, pretty far then. They just flintstones it there. Really huge thing. This episode of Red Stories is sponsored by Hungry Root. Trying to get all my protein in during a busy shoot week is a challenge. I'm trying to get so buff I become one gigantic bicep. 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If you meet someone, just tell them that you're doing a charity bake thing and that you just don't have the time to make your normal cakes for them. So you're getting a friend to come into your shop and whip up a few dozen of these. I love you a little bit. PM your shop and I'll order from you forever. Oh, someone's flirting. Hey, Ian. OP said, ha ha, I totally did this once. I told someone I was buying a box mix because I just needed to make cupcakes for my niece's bake sale and I didn't have time to make it from scratch. My business is small and home-based. I rely only on word of mouth and sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the business I get just from that. Someday, I dream of having a real cake shop with assistants and interns. Si, a girl can dream. Imagine, can I see the back of your bake shop? No! Lined with Pillsbury. Who was that? Hey, it's that little guy. It's that little guy. What is he, by the way? A marshmallow chef? He's a dough boy. He's a dough boy. He's made of dough. Duh. Have you ever been to a zoo? Damn. Have you ever seen dough boys? No, I haven't. Someone said, I am a culinary student and a mighty fine baker. My baking instructor taught us that many bakers bakeries, catering companies, restaurants use cake mix and why use cake mix? It's quite simple. It's what we expect. If you make a cake from scratch, it has a totally different flavor, different textures and other little things. As Americans, we expect cakes to taste like boxed cake mix. If we went to Europe, you would be shunned. Don't feel bad. If you can ice a cake, you have my respect. Yeah. Okay. I love educators on Reddit. I love the therapists on Reddit and the educators on Reddit. I do think it's sad. It's sad and it does speak to Americans of the quality of shit. We're so gross. It's like when Ireland deemed Subway's bread not break. It's actually more closely related to cake. Our bread, Europe is like, that's not bread. I feel so much shame right now. Our foods are so processed and bullshit that. Yeah. Chocolate isn't chocolate. Yeah. We're living in fallout. I'm not. This sucks, you guys. It's true. If people were making cakes from scratch, they'd probably get more negative reviews because they're like, what is this? That's so true. It's supposed to taste like boxed cake. That's so true. She's still putting a lot of labor into it. It's not like she's going to a public and buying a cake and then just putting some decorations on a cake. If the baker is saying that the icing stuff is hardest, then all right. Do we think all bakeries are using boxes? No. Porto's can't be. That shit is too good. Chain. What if they are? What box mix are they using? Tiramisu box mix. For their trestleches? The three milks? The three boxes? Yeah. Yeah. They're using three boxes with a lot of milk. It's all a lie. They're using their potato ball cake mix. Oh, I love potato balls. Yeah. We love potato balls. Guys, nobody knows what we're talking about. I know. It's fine. We can't do this. Sorry. The next time you go to your local bakery, be like, all right, I want to see the back. I want to go back there. Yeah. As for a tour. Open it up. Let me see. Open it up. All right. Cake is the best thing in the entire, what's your favorite cake? Oh, okay. Oh my God. You know what? Okay, here's an underrated one. I think it's called like German Forest Cake. So good. That one. It's cherry. It's rich. It's like cherry or is that black forest? That's black forest. Oh, no, not black forest. The German, it's like a coconut. Yeah. German chocolate cake. Dude, I haven't had that in like probably a decade, but like, dude, a good German chocolate cake? Oh, yeah. There's not a cake that I won't eat. Really? I like, I don't know what cakes that I don't like, but I do think red velvet. Red velvet's hard to beat. So good. So good. And isn't red velvet just like, just vanilla? It's a lie. It's chocolate with food coloring and cream cheese. But like some about that food coloring. Red is so good. Did you ever, did you ever have the blue velvet cake at milk? No. Do you remember milk? I love milk. I think the answer is I like chocolate. There was this ice cream place in LA and they had a blue velvet cake and apparently it turned your poop green. Hell yeah. Because it was so vibrant blue. Wow. Like, yeah. Also shout out to ice cream cake. Ice cream cake rocks. Ice cream cake rocks. It's an inferior cake. Because like something is happening to you right now. We'll keep going on Reddit stories, but are you sick? Ice cream cake. Ice cream cake. Ice cream cake. Love ice cream cake. Okay. I'll tell you guys my favorite cake since none of you guys fucking asked. Oh my God. You posed the question. I like chocolate cake with vanilla. Or lavender cake. I know it sounds fun. I've never had it. No, that sounds good. You love for. Alcove? Alcove has a lavender. You like lavender ice cream and stuff. Love lavender. That's bringing the cake. Rose? Like rose or lavender? Can we order some cakes? Can we order some cake to the show right now? Have you been to Mashti Palms? No. Persian ice cream. Rose pistachio saffron. Oh yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. Naughty. All right. Okay. Update. Updates of what? A cake person? Upcrake. Upcrake. Upcake. Let's get creaked. Hey, Shane, remember when you said you'll eat any cake? Yeah, that was a bad statement. That was crazy. We're gonna, we're gonna fuck it up for you. And I stand, I stand on it. All right, cool. I stand on that cake and I eat it. I actually think that you need to go home. You stand on it. I stand on that cake. All right, give us a quick. Upcrake. Upcrake. You're calling me unwell. Look at you. I've already accepted it. I'm fine with it. I'm fine. I'm totally fine with it. All right. Update from this commenter, the cake lady. Didn't know we needed an update from this person. Well, we do. We've already decided we're good. She's like, Hillsbury is suing. It's three years later. Whoa. Wait. Wait. Do we think they got caught? They must have gotten caught. Wait, could this be? What is going on? I don't know. What if it turns out to be Prue from the Great British Bake Off? She's leaving Great British Bake Off. No, because this is from 2012. This is now 2015. So she could have found her career. Paulus is a Paul Hollywooder, Prue. We'll see. All right, kiddos. Here I am. A friend texted me and said my people need me. Ha, ha, ha. I guess there was a thread that got big and mentioned this thread. Here's your update. I actually no longer make cakes. I got a divorce and moved into a much smaller home. And at that point, I had no place to decorate cakes. I was also really burnt out. It's an incredibly hard art, very time consuming and requires a lot of tools and space. About a year later, I moved in with my now boyfriend. We have a pretty big kitchen. I wanted to sell my equipment and tools and the billion giant cake pans I have, but he convinced me not to. He said I should keep it on the back burner for a while and see if I want to do it again later. He didn't know me when I was a decorator, but he saw the photos and told me it would be a shame if I never did it again. I want to share some photos, but it would be so easy to trace them back to my old cake blog. Maybe I can find one or two photos that were never posted there. So they posted some photos. I guess. Oh no. And now we have an update from three more years later. They're arrested and in jail in a smaller part. I think at this stage, I care less about the cakes and more. I hope this new relationship works out. Me too. She got a divorce. I was like, I didn't think about that. The guy really wanted cake and she said no more cake. I'm done with cake. Okay. Update three more years later. I have a sort of hilarious update at this point. About a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with a wheat intolerance. Okay. All right. Well, yep. We've got the two wheat intolerant people in this room with us. Less so for me now. I beat them. You beaten it? He's beaten the intolerance. I beat the wheat. How'd you beat the... I beat my wheat every night. I stand on cake. He beats the wheat. This is so... Yeah, what are you doing, Anna? I eat cake. Okay. I love eating cake. Stop beating the wheat. Yeah. I slowly gluten myself. I remember you said that you're doing that. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm beating it. Okay. So I'm still afraid you're doing that. I'm afraid it's fried, but with wheat. Exactly. Yeah. Hers is different. No, I think Emily's will kill her. Your is close. Yeah. Emily will die. Emily will die. I'm just too strong. No, I think yours was a lie. Okay. All right. Hold on. I was... They were diagnosed with a wheat intolerance. My intestines decided they no longer wanted to digest wheat anymore. Woo. I actually just thought I was dying for a few months. It was really stressful. Anyway, I can't even fucking eat cake anymore. I still have all of my equipment and whatnot. I make a quick cake now and then, but trust me when I say gluten free cake mixes are better than anything I could make from scratch, LOL. Here's a cute little cake I made for my birthday last year. It's not amazing, but it's not bad considering I rarely make cakes anymore. They're a good decorator. Whoa. That's a cute little unicorn. This cake is very... No, I was going to say. This cake is extremely 2017. I mean, the unicorn right out the middle just went, what a crazy craig. You're never going to let me live that. No. Someone said, craig is forever They keep writing, I still receive so many messages on this account. I'm sorry if I don't reply, but I never check this account. I've got everything in that inbox from people trying to guess who I am, to people giving me recipes, to people begging me for cake photos, and one guy who wanted a video of me eating cake. Oh, okay. Well, new fetish unlocked. Well, has he ever seen? What are you going to say? We don't know. Cake farts? Oh, cake farts. Hell yeah, dude. Anyhow, I'm getting married again. Second time is a charm to a dude I met on Reddit. Wait. So they're getting married. Not the boyfriend? Not the boyfriend. I think to a different person. Oh, because he wanted... He wanted a dude they met on Reddit. Okay. And our wedding planner asked me to please not try to make my own wedding cake because she has seen it end in a stressful disaster so many times. I'm going to take her advice and leave the cake making to someone else. And when she gets the cake, she's going to be like, I know this is pill buried. Yeah, I know. Wait, this is a happy ending for her. It's a happy ending. She got away with it. Wow. She got away with it. She got away with it. I feel like... I don't necessarily believe in karma, but it is funny that she's like, okay, I'm making fake cakes. I'm no longer allowed to eat cake. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of... There's something... There's something kind of there. Yeah, it's kind of there maybe. Yeah. No more beating the wheat. So then why did I get a gluten intolerance? Because you're just a sinful man. That's true. Back to confession. Back to confession. I guess I'll... Yeah, father. But you were absolved. I've been beating my wheat. He's brought it up again. So he's allowed to now because he's absolved. All right. So what did you do? You are absolved. Save Five Hail Marys. I don't know. Don't do it in the mirror. That's going to sound creepy to come. I don't know what any of this stuff means. Or what? Biggie Smalls will come. What? Did you just make that up? No. Have you never heard the... No. I would have said in the mirror if I knew that was going to happen. I thought some creepy lady was going to come and steal my soul. Biggie's coming? It's a stupid... I think it's a South Park reference. Whatever. Producer note, there are eight more largely uneventful updates that span across a few years leading this to be a 10-plus year long Reddit famous thread. Wow. This person just keeps on posting. Wow. They're like, I never saw this, but I'm dating again. Yeah. It's like, all right. But this time it's a Reddit mod. So, you know, just moving up. Moving up. Moving on. Maybe. Okay. Our next story. Whoa. That was one story. That was one story. Okay. This comes from True Off My Chest and it was posted in 2022. My wife and everyone else thinks I got laid off, but really I quit so I could make a go at being a Twitch streamer full time. Don't quit your job to do Twitch. No. Yeah. Oh no. It is a tough career path. No, no, no. All right. My wife doesn't follow or know anything about Twitch or video games at all. She doesn't have any knowledge of or connection to the industry I used to work in. She is a paramedic, so she works different shifts and does not know I stream at times when she is not home. Her salary is enough to cover our bills, although things will be a bit tighter until I start making money on my stream. I'm not going to tell anyone until I'm bringing in enough money that I can do it full time. I have never been happier and not stressed as I am now. It's easy for me to lock myself in my home office and say I'm networking and job hunting when I'm really streaming if my wife and or my three-year-old is home. If she's not working or my daughter is not at daycare, it's harder, but I make it work. I feel a bit guilty for lying, but I have wanted to do this for a long time. No one that I know in real life knows. Obviously, posting this with a throw away. So, nobody knows. He thinks that the... So, he's just telling people that he's job searching. Hey, these networking. Won't she have some questions if she's hearing him go, oh, boom, headshot. Okay, on me. On me. Okay, I'm down. It makes me so sad that the three-year-olds involved. This is really horrible. And he said she's a paramedic. Paramedic? Paramedics should get paid more, but I don't think they get paid enough. For them to be like, she can cover both of us. And a baby. And a baby. And a baby. And a kid. Him also being like, oh, yeah, when I start making money off of this, as someone who got worked, has been in the entertainment industry a long time, it's like, it could take a long time before you make money off. This makes me sad because he could be a stay-at-home dad right now and probably help them out a lot. Oh, no, the three-year-olds probably in school. I don't know. But it's the fact that he's also, he's streaming. Someone's going to catch him. It's like, what's the situation? Nobody's going to catch him because he has probably two viewers. He probably has zero. I think statistically, yeah. Statistically, the average streamer has zero viewers because you either have zero or you get a following. He's just playing video games. Yeah. I mean, he's, yeah. I mean, there's a lot of creators that, they'll have the streaming or YouTube as a side gig until it starts making money. And then they'll leave their job. But to leave your job and start streaming and like, before any proof of like, success is insane. Because he didn't get fired. He left. He quit. He said that he got fired. He quit. So he made this decision. Also, I do think, if you're married also, especially if you have a kid, like, you need to communicate to your spouse of like, I'm going to quit my job. It's like, because it's like, oh yeah. So she doesn't know that she is now the provider for the household and is for the foreseeable future. I hope she finds out. And like you, and I bet he knows this is a terrible idea because why else would he keep it secret? It's true off my chest. He literally is like, well, this Reddit is like an anonymous thing, but it's also like, no. I think we've read, we've definitely read another story about a guy who was trying to get into streaming and like, I just think it is. I'm in the kitchen with Charlie Bigham. So what have we got here, Charlie? My brand new pan-fried pad Thai noodles. Noodles? But you're Mr Fish Pie Guy. Guilty. And what? Ovens, roulette roasting. The pan is king of noodling. Whether it's pad Thai, yakisoba or laxer, finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole. But all I have to do is stir it in the pan for six minutes, right? Bingo. Try the new Charlie Bigham's Asian Pan-Fried Noodle Range, handmade in my kitchen. Pan-fried in yours. People do not realize how hard it is to break into these industries, right? Like people clown on streamers of like, oh, it's an easy job. And it's like, think what you want. It's not an easy job. Think about what you want, if the job is easy or not. It is one of the hardest jobs to like get a following and make money off of. I mean, at least like start a TikTok first and then use that TikTok to market the stream. But to just be a streamer, where are your viewers coming from? Yeah, I do get frustrated when people are like, oh, it's the easiest job on the plan. I'm like, it's really, it's easier. It's not. There are harder jobs, right? Sure. But there's a lot more know-how that goes into it. Because like you're saying, it's like every streamer I know, they really know how to like, you have to know marketing. You have to know like, the know-how of all the platforms. You have to know how to put yourself out there, how to like clip things and put them and make get people's interest. You have to know what games you should be playing, what are hot right now, like what's working. Oh God, I'm so overwhelmed for this guy. But also, like you say, you say like there are other, there are harder jobs out there. Yes. And those jobs pay money. Yeah. Like streaming as a job. Doesn't pay. It technically doesn't pay anything. It won't pay anything until you are one of the biggest streamers. In which you're not even being paid really for like ad revenue that like running on your stream. You're being paid for like brand deals and stuff mostly. Also like insurance, anything to help out his family. Yeah. Crazy. Oh my God. It's also a job. Yeah, me too. It's also a job that has no guarantee. He could have a successful month where he's like, I've got viewers and then they could go away. Yeah. Like this is not a sustainable future. This makes me really mad because of the three-year-old. Yeah. Absolutely. And obviously the wife. It would make me mad. It would make me mad no matter what. But yeah. And if this guy was single, if I knew this guy and he's like, I'm quitting my job to stream, I'd be like, you should keep your job and you should stream when you can. Well, he wouldn't be able to do this without his wife's paycheck. I know. And she doesn't realize she's supporting his thing. That is upsetting. Comments, that's such a horrible thing to do. You do absolutely nothing for your household and a lie or two. Damn. Okay. Someone said, someone said, you are being a really, really bad husband. If I was your wife, I would not care if you started making money doing this because I would be heartbroken that you lied and deceived me and not over something small, over quitting your job. The entire financial burden is now on her and she doesn't even know. What if she decides to quit or gets fired? You guys would be up, shits, creek without a paddle. Not being dramatic, but I would leave you over this. This is insanity. Someone said, Yikes. You're lying to your wife and putting both of your financial futures at risk. Chances are, you will never make a significant amount of money from Twitch. You just won't. For the vast majority of people, any kind of content creation is a hobby, not a career. Chow, dude. Absolutely. Whoa, they're going hard and you know what? Absolutely. He deserves it. Yeah. And the only thing, he never even expressed like, oh shoot, this is all my wife, whatever. He's like, I've always wanted to do this and I do kind of feel bad. He never really expressed remorse that bad. I feel like, I know this is going a bit extreme, but I feel like he's not cut out to be a dad or to be a parent. I think you can't just make those kinds of self. It's a selfish decision because it's always been my dream to be a streamer. Brother, you have a three-year-old child. I'm a three-year-old. Like the kid comes first. Always. I don't think it's a crazy take. The kid should come first. Why are you pursuing your dreams at the risk of your child's life? I agree. Or at least, if you have a kid, you and your partner are in a massive partnership and everything needs to be discussed. Yeah, for sure. Everything is a group decision. Yeah. Also, it's like, we know this guy has no viewers right now because he just started doing this and he's like, yeah, this is my dream. I'm like, no man, you just wanted to have no responsibility and play video games in your office. Yeah. It's possible. Come on, man. You're not treating this like a job. Right. Talk about this like a job. You're talking about it like, I just want to go in there and play video games. It makes me so sad that he's in a closed office and the wife is probably like, oh yeah, we can't go in there and disturb daddy because he's working. Oh, this gets me. I know. Let's find him. Well, we have an update. And I think it's from an- An update? You're never, it's going to be years from now. I'm done. No, I'm done. We're going to be in our 60s and we're going to reconnect after years and you're going to be like- Reconnect. Okay. We're breaking up. No. Maybe I'll run it like, we'll see each other in our 60s and then all of a sudden you'll be like, oh, Amanda, you're like, up, Craig. We'll run into each other in like a, you know, Croatia or something, I guess, after we broke it up and reconnected. I'm going to, we're both at a, at like a restaurant. I see you from across the way and I go, oh, Amanda. And I go like this. Oh. And that's it. Is that how Batman ended up? We're going to add like Batman. I'll like it, think about his Christian pale. And what's his name? What do we get up again? Batman begin. Thank you. All right, Batman. Up, Craig. All right. Update. And I think it's from a good time afterwards because he writes, I know I'll probably get flamed, but I get it. I understand that I am the one who ruined my life and my marriage. My divorce was finalized a year ago. Yup. She found out about six months after I posted. He let this go on for six months. He's, he's not good. The job market's hard out there. You know, it's just, you still really try and find that job. I understand that I was wrong and that I screwed up. I regret my stupidity so much. She left our flat with our daughter and went to live with her sister and hired a solicitor. And that was it. Don't be stupid like me. We've been divorced for a year and I found out she just started dating again. I'm gutted. I miss her. I miss my daughter because she only lives with me half the time. Whenever I see my wife's sister or other members of her family, they give me the stink eye. I can't believe I was such a lazy fuck while she was out there busting her ass as a paramedic. I understand why everyone hates me and sided with her. I know I'll get judged either way, but I'm posting in case anyone understands what I'm going through and being gutted when your ex starts dating again. Well, now I'm just, now I'm just sad. I don't, I don't care for him at all. Kind of like, hey man, like. I'm actually really happy that his wife was like peace. Yup. I mean, I felt like it was kind of inevitable. Like he really set himself up for failure. It's borderline like, were you sabotaging your life? But uh. Very possible. Yeah, it's kind of like, all right man, your sob story. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, what are you doing for your daughter now? What are you doing for your own life now? Yeah. I don't want to hear about how sad you are that she's dating again. Like that's part of divorce. Yeah. You didn't care about your marriage when you were in it. Oh, it's a divorce when your child is three. It's really, really hard. He doesn't care about his daughter. He's not talking about his daughter here. He's talking about himself. He's like, damn, she's seeing someone else. He's like, oh, my life is so awful. That's it. No, 100%. It's all he's thinking about. I'm like, hey man, aren't you like, oh, you know what? I realized it was really stupid. Yes, I screwed up, but I really am trying to be the best father. Nope. I can be to my daughter and I'm working on all this. He's like, this is what I'm going through. I'm just like, okay. And the uh, and the man that the uh, the ex-wife is now dating, ex-qc. What? My ex-wife is now dating Keso and I'm gunning. He's so funny. He has so many viewers. Oh, Twitter. These are street streamers. No, no, no, totally. Yeah. People that made my careers out of it. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, I got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's super cool. All right. She's probably dating a paramedic. Come on. Our doctor, maybe. Oh, the helicopter. A helicopter pilot. Oh my God. And her and her daughter like flying over the waterfalls in Kauai and they're like, oh, look at that. So cool. She's like, you're so awesome. And he's like, I love you. Yeah. And then what? Oh my God, they've said I love you two each other. Upkrake. Upkrake. Oh, they're going to need a wedding cake pretty soon. Oh, I think we know someone. Wow, he's done. Oh, yeah. Because, yeah, the wheat intolerance, yeah. Shoot. Our next story. This comes from True Off My Chest and it was posted in, uh, 2025, July of 2020. Whoa. Getting a little more recent than 2012. PSA, if you're the friend who blocks guys from talking to your attractive friend, you're not protecting anyone. You're just being controlling. Whoa. All right. I need to vent about something that happened last weekend and I'm curious if other guys have experienced this. I'm 31, have a decent career, been told I'm good looking and generally don't have issues meeting people. I've had my fair share of success dating and usually feel pretty confident in social situations. But last Saturday at this club downtown, I encountered something that just blew my mind. There was this absolutely stunning woman at the bar. Let's call her Sarah. She was clearly interested, making eye contact, smiling when I looked at her, the whole nine yards. So I walk over to introduce myself and immediately this other woman, let's call her Fridge. What the hell? Jesus Christ. What a nightmare. Yeah, he's doing a lot of work. Yeah, man, I'm really listening to your PSA right now. Fridge. So I walk over to introduce myself and immediately this other woman, let's call her Fridge. This ugly skank. Yeah. That literally steps between us. She's not interested, the Fridge says, arms crossed like a bouncer. But here's the thing, Sarah was clearly interested. She was giving me the look, you know? She even tried to step around her friend to continue our conversation, but the Fridge kept repositioning herself like some kind of human wall. This went on for 20 minutes. This is very funny. Yeah, this went on for 20 minutes. 20 minutes? Every other time. Just walk away. Yeah. Every time I tried to have a normal conversation with Sarah, the Fridge would interrupt with, she has a boyfriend. She didn't. She's not looking to meet anyone tonight. She obviously was. Or just physically blocking access. The most frustrating part? Sarah looked genuinely annoyed with her friend's behavior too. At one point, she literally mouthed, sorry to me over the Fridge's shoulder. I've seen this before, but never this extreme. It's like some women have appointed themselves as the official gatekeeper to their attractive friends. They act like they're protecting them, but from what? A normal conversation with a respectful guy? Look, I get it. Yeah, respectful guy that refers to a woman as Fridge. The dumpster was blocking me again. God, I'm a knight. Look, I get it. If a guy is being creepy or aggressive, then absolutely step in. But I was being completely respectful. Sarah was clearly interested, and this woman was just blocking for the sake of blocking. I genuinely don't understand the psychology here. The worst part is that it's not just hurting the guy. It's taking away Sarah's ability to make her own decisions about who she wants to talk to. Honestly, it's making me want to avoid group approaches entirely. Yeah. Walk away. Yeah. Yeah, this is... What? Also, like, he's... This is an unreliable narrator, too. Absolutely. This is such unreliable. Sarah's just like, sorry, I really want to talk to you, but the Fridge is blocking me again. So sorry. Oh my God, the friend is awful. Yeah, it's... And I could even see her, I guess I could see her still saying sorry, just to like not be... Sure. You know, the whole thing of like, we don't know... The sock word. Yeah, you don't want to piss off a random man at a bar because things happen. Yeah, things happen. It'd be scary. So, like, yeah, her friend running defense, and then Sarah being like, sorry, like, I could see that. Yeah. Also, he said she had a boyfriend, but then he was like, oh, she didn't. And he goes in front of this and says she didn't. It's like, how do you know? Did she say that she didn't? Also, was she really like looking at him? I have a hard time believing that too, because as we know, like, some guys will take like, the smallest little thing and be like, oh, she's in love with me and she won't stop with me. Or she was looking at him because she was like, why does this guy keep staring at me? Or she would probably be scared. Or she would probably be like, do we know each other? Yeah, there'd be a million explanations. Real quick, the top comment, I think, really kind of nails this in a way. I've had friends run interference before without me asking them to. But if I was ever interested in someone, they never did this. Sarah obviously never corrected her friend. She wasn't interested. Most of us don't like men who refer to women as fridges. More at six. To good use of that. Yeah, him trying to buy, like, sell us on this, but referring to a woman as the fridge. Referring to the woman that he's not interested in as an object. I'm like, yeah, I think this tells me everything I need to know. Here's the deal. Like, as a woman, it is a rite of passage that you are going to have those friends, those sisters, who fight for you on your behalf, whether you want it or not. It's just like part of the deal. And sometimes it's like, hey, I can handle myself. And sometimes it's like, hey, thanks for taking care of me. Like, it just happens. But it's honestly up to Sarah to be like, I'm not interested. And if this went on for 20 minutes, I have a feeling that if Sarah's friends with the fridge, if she was interested in this guy, she'd be like, oh, OK. Hey, you know, back down Amy is probably her name. And she's probably like, OK, back down. Like, I got it. Like, I actually was kind of interested. Yeah, absolutely. But clearly not. And also, if she was interested, you know who's going to know first? The fucking friend. Yeah. She's going to go, that guy's cute. Oh, shit, he's coming over. Yeah. She probably went, oh, fuck, this guy's coming over. Oh, god, oh, god, this is going to be so awkward. And the fridge was like, I got it. Yeah. That's probably what happened. Don't you worry about it. I've. Yeah. Don't you worry about it. I just don't know. Like, how does something like this continue for 20 minutes? I don't know. What's the conversation there? But, but, but I just want to, but, but, but. I know that the amount of times I've, I've not seen it, but I've heard about just men being relentless. Yeah. Like forever. Oh, this has absolutely happened to me. And my little sister has been like, bro, if you don't back up, I'm going to do something. And he's like, okay. So anyways, they don't, it doesn't. There's a video and it could be staged, but I've heard of this happening to people. There's a video of its new years, like new years, like right as the ball drops. Oh, there's these girls celebrating together. And they're like cheering because the fireworks are going off. And this guy walks up to try to talk to them. And they're truly just trying to ignore him and just be like, and he just doesn't leave. Just, and it's as like, it's like, it's new years. He's like, well, he's just trying to cheer. And they're just kind of like, yeah. It's midnight. And he's truly just there like trying to talk to them. And he's like acting like you guys are being ridiculous. You like champagne? God, you guys are awful. It's like, they're having a moment. Like they're, they're doing their thing. It's kind of agonizing, especially at a bar where there's alcohol. Like it's like, if this guy's, if this guy's already clueless, and then he's a couple drinks in and he's more clueless. Just because we're dressed up, we want to show off our bodies. We want to have a good time with our friends in a public space. Does not mean it's for you, bitches. It's for us. It's for our friends. And if it's for you, trust me, you will know. If we want it, you will know. We will make it. Pretty sure it was for me. We will make it. It's all for me. So clear. Like what is the deal? Yeah. And also, you know what I also hate is when people overcorrect. When they like, literally like, well, I couldn't go up to you because like, you know, the me too movement and everything. It's like, yes, okay, there's that too. But it's just like, trust me, you will know when we want to give you the time. Nobody has a problem with him going up the first time being like, hey, and being told like no and be like, all right. Yeah, no, we're good. And the friend said it. Yeah. I'm in the kitchen with Charlie Bigum. So what have we got here, Charlie? My brand new pan-fried pad thai noodles. Noodles? But you're Mr. Fish Pie Guy. Guilty. And while ovens rule at roasting, the pan is king of noodling. Whether it's pad thai, yaki soba or laxa, finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole. But all I have to do is stir it in the pan for six minutes, right? Bingo. Try the new Charlie Bigums Asian pan-fried noodle range, handmade in my kitchen. Pan-fried in yours. It's like, fine. It's like, all right, if Sarah's really interested, you made the move and she'll be like, actually, I do want to talk to him. Okay. And like, but then you hold off and like, hey, and if it doesn't happen, doesn't happen, man. Like, stop bothering them. That's the issue is like, I don't want men to be so afraid that they have to like cower. But if your friend is singing. I think there's, as someone who is afraid of making people uncomfortable, I also think it's been a bullshit tactic sometimes of making women feel bad for the boundaries that are set where it's like, well, we were pointing out that it'd be uncomfortable. And the guys are going, well, because you guys have set boundaries. Now, we can't say anything. It's like, okay. And it's like, we're human beings. So when you go up to a human being and you test the waters and they say, no, thank you, go, okay, great. I'm going to leave now. Yeah. Done and done. It's as simple as that. But their egos get involved. They feel so rejected. So this guy probably just stood there and they probably had their setup, their drinks. They probably waited for a spot at the bar. They're like, well, we're not leaving. And he probably just stood there forever. Also, this guy's writing a whole Reddit post about this interaction. It's just like, hey, man, let it go. Like, I'm sorry. That's you. Like, it's another day. Go. There's a bunch of people out there. If you're going to bars, like. Also, she's friends with the fridge. So if you even got in a date with her, exactly, yeah. Guess who's going to show up? The fridge. The fridge is there. She's going to pick up her friend. But it's just like, yeah, he has no respect for. Oh, this is so annoying. Another comment says, I hope there's a fridge stove, dishwasher, butcher block, craftsman's tool chest, and Jeep Grand Cherokee surrounding all your future conquests. Jeep Grand Cherokee. Yeah, you got to watch out for that one. That one? That's if the fridge had gone. You're dead. Lastly, someone said, I'm a woman and I've seen this play out multiple times in club settings. Sarah did not want you and her friend was running interference. The friend was playing bad cops so they could safely reject people like you. You know how many men probably came up to her wanting to talk and also had to be rejected? And now here you are running to Reddit about it, thinking you have it all figured out. Taylor's oldest time, you know nothing about how women operate. Yeah, there's just this sense of entitlement of like, I'm entitled to this stranger's time. And I think you make a really good point, Amanda, of being like, it's okay to like go up and say hi and introduce yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. Absolutely. But anything past that point is entitlement. Absolutely. Thinking that you're entitled to this person's time. Absolutely. And you know, it's not the easiest thing for us to go, hey, I'm not interested. No, thank you. It's not the easiest thing in the world. It's awkward. It's uncomfortable. We want to just, we don't want to deal with that either. So when we say it, we're saying it because we have enough respect for the moment and ourselves to be like, hey, like no worries, all good, but like I have a boyfriend or whatever. And then when you fucking react like that, it's like, all right. This is not some pothico. We're not on the same page. Time to call the Jeep grand Cherokee. Yeah, now I have to fight and now my night's ruined. Yeah. All right, our next story. Is a confession that came from January of 2025. I carry pumpkin seeds in my pocket and plant them everywhere I go. I've been doing this for over 20 years. This is the type of confession I love. I love Johnny Apple seed. That's just a wild thing. The pumpkin man. Ew, that sounds so creepy. Johnny pumpkin seed. Sounds like Mr. Pumpkins from SNL, remember Mr. S Pumpkins? His arm is on thing. I fucking love that. I've actually never seen it. I've actually never seen. You've never watched Tom Hanks. My millennial ass loves that. That's so much. I think it's so funny because it's absurd. There's nothing happening. It makes no sense. That's why I love it. It's Tom Hanks. It's so good, man. You got to watch it. It's so. All right. Okay. I carry pumpkin seeds in my pocket and plant them everywhere I go. I've been doing this for over 20 years. There is no reason that I do this other than I find it funny. I hear whispers. I don't know how a pumpkin grew here. Oh well, I never run out of seeds. I got pumpkin patches across the country. Till next time, lend a hand, leave a smile. What? I don't trust this person. I will say, can I be honest? What he's doing is harmless, maybe even benevolent. I do think there's something about this guy that is more sinister in nature than everybody else. I was telling you what I was saying. He sounds like a villain. I think this guy is evil. Yeah. He's like, no. He's like, lend a hand. These little seeds need some fertilizer. He's got bodies in the trunk. We have nothing to point that he is a bad person. He's planting a seed with a human finger in there. Oh my God. If it comes out, if there's an update, it's like actually where the police we found this guy. He's murdered many people. Well, you go to a pumpkin patch and he's like, this is all mine. I hate this. This is my land. This is hilarious. I kind of can't with this man. It's something about it being pumpkin. What's his name? Well, we don't know. Charles. I wish it was a more edible food, because most people don't eat pumpkins. Because squash guy? Yeah. If it was more of a squash. Pumpkin puree, really good for you. Yeah, but people don't do that. Yeah, it's so cute. People always just like Halloween. They just throw their pumpkins away. They don't even keep the seeds usually. He's like, oh my God, let's dig into them and carve them up. I always make the seeds. Oh yeah, pepitas. Seeds are so good. Pepitas. They're so good. You make pepitas? Yeah, I do. Put a little salt on them. Nice. Love them. What pumpkin guy think about that? I guess it'd be atrocious to him, because he likes to plant the seeds. Yeah, he likes to plant them and see what grows, and then take over the land. I think pumpkins, though, wouldn't... How well do they grow in most environments? I don't think anything's growing in his path. I think he's... I don't know. Enough is known. He's like, I visited again, and there was a city built. I like how he's like, I hear whispers, how did a pumpkin grow here? I'm like, you're revisiting the scene of the crime like a serial killer. Oh no. The whispers are not open to people. I kind of feel like we should all plant pumpkins around our places of residence and see if it works. Wait, that means he's going to show up. I don't think there's any... I would have a hard time believing that pumpkins would grow in LA. We have days that reach like 105 degrees nowadays. Wouldn't that kill it? This is really creepy to me. My gourd knowledge is not good, so I don't know. I don't know about... What? That's not gourd. It's not a gourd? It's not gourd. Oh, I'm sorry. It's not gourd? It's not gourd. It's not good. Okay. That's face. That's face. Anyways. All right. It's not very gourd. Comments. Someone said Johnny Pumpkin seed. We already said that. We already said that. We already did. We're way ahead of you. Someone said... We reply, fuck you. We already said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone said, I have a buddy who does this in downtown Detroit with sunflower seeds. He plants them in sad looking places and goes back and takes photos once they grow. Okay, well that's sweet. I've heard of people doing this. Flowers feels better. Sunflower guy sounds fun. Flowers. I've seen people do it with wildflowers. Yes. That's sweet. As long as they're local. If you do it with local wildflowers, I approve. Yeah. Okay. Someone said, so it was you. A random pumpkin grew up my apartment complex, learned the hard way, the stems are spiky. Oh, so he is sinister in nature. We knew it. He's trying to take over the U.S. survey. He's a Batman villain. Yeah. Oh my God. Definitely. What does he wear? Overalls? Ew. Probably. I like overalls. The farmer. But not on the strut. I finally found you pumpkin man. You're really done. We're going to a Batman again, you guys. What? Everything's Batman. Yeah. Lastly, someone said, oh, where have you done your distribution? As a newlywed, put in a flower garden out front, but somehow ended up with a very enthusiastic cherry tomato bush and a horking huge pumpkin. Neighbors live. Fuck. Horking? I also don't like the person. Who are all of these people? Horton, here's a who. I built a garden. Somehow pumpkin guy, not the worst person. Now it's this lady. A newlywed making a garden? My horking huge pumpkin. Neighbors literally would stop to see if it was real, probably 25 to 30 pounds, and we made masses of pumpkin puree from it. Hey. You keep doing this. You may have just inspired me too. OP responded, only in the USA so far, but I fear I've said. Dude, I'm not saying U.S. of A. Only in the USA so far, but I fear I've said too much. The villain side of me wishes to reveal everything while the magician side wishes to reveal nothing. I feel torn. Till next time, lend a hand, leave a smile. Sincerely, Carl. Carl! Did I say Charlie? You said Charles. Why does he keep signing off with- He keeps saying that, and I feel something happening. It's like if you watch this for seven days, you're going to get- Don't say that phrase again. Why does he say help a hand, leave a smile? All of a sudden, I'm talking all of a sudden, I go, oh, I don't mind. And I go, Horton, here's a horking- No, that's a horking- That's a horking huge vine coming out of you. And the vine goes through me, and it goes through Ian. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, and then the pumpkins grow here. And then Ian just goes, Pepitas. Pepitas. Now we got lots of Pepitas. Carl is way worse. Because Charles is like, okay, he's kind of fun, a little proper. Carl is like- Carl is sinister. Carl is sinister. Carl. Carl, the pumpkin man. The pumpkin- He wears overalls, and like big boots. Yeah. Like big black boots. Somebody needs to make fan art of Carl. I want to see Carl the pumpkin, Johnny pumpkin seed. Dispise him. Someone must stop. Don't ever say his phrase again. Help a hand, leave a smile. No. That's not even it. That's not even it. Leave a smile. Uh, lend a hand. Leave a smile. Shut up. Lend a hand. Leave a smile. Lend a hand. Are you crazy? Leave a smile. You're letting the dean and end. Well, we're not talking in a mirror, so BiggieSmiles won't. One more comment from Carl. Someone commented, LMAO, I just came from a dark and sad thread outlining the dark future of America. And your post completely changed my brainwave. Thanks so much. Keep doing you, boo. And Carl responded. Oh, no. This is becoming a creepypasta. He's responded, even if we enter an apocalyptic type world, there will always be dark and always be light. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. I find it where I can. I find peace in little moments. I hope you find peace too, fellow traveler. Lend a hand. Leave a smile. No. Sincerely, Carl. Chase, Ian's going. Ian, no. He spoke. No. Oh, he's gone. He spoke. They, there's, they commented me like, yeah, I'm really nervous about the future of America. And he, he wrote like a, Dark time. As if he's like a prophet of the future. Dark times are important, my little one. Dark times are, are coming. My little seed. Dark times are good. We must plant you too. We must plant the seeds of positivity for the future. I hate this. Carl will kill us all. What if, what if Carl saves us from the apocalypse? No, he won't. When like everything, when everything like, you know, collapses, the pumpkins are the only things that sustain us. Yeah. What if one day we wake up and on the news, it's like, oh my God, Trump, Putin and Netanyahu, all found with pumpkins growing out of their faces. It's like, oh, what happened? This is the last of us. So hard right now. The last of us, but pumpkin. I will say, we kind of called it, your first like intro to this, we were like, oh, he's a villain. And he said the words himself. He said he's a villain, but also a magician. A magician. Which is worse. Oh, what is he making disappear? Children. Us. Wait, I'm spooked. I'm, I'm scared. I'm horkin' scared. I'm horkin' scared. The horkin' here's a hill I'm a newlywed. We have one final quick story here. We were gonna, we were gonna cut and end the show, but we just got the go ahead. We could do this last story. So this is a bonus. All right. This comes from Well That Sucks. This was posted in March of this year. This was posted two days ago as of recording this. Well, sent this confession to the wrong Kelly. So they have multiple Kelly's in their contacts. Sent to the wrong one. They go, they write, this is a text. I'm extra pissed today because my koochie lips keep falling out of my underwear and it keeps chafing, crying emoji. Oh my God. I mean, look, we've all been there. And, and Kelly responds, no, I totally get that. That's the worst. OP responds with a crying emoji and then laughing crying emoji. And then Kelly responds, it's always great when it happens at the gym too. Crying emojis like sad, like, oh, like emojis. They go, no. And then they respond, OP responds, no, wrong Kelly. I'm so sorry. Oh my God. Kelly's such a good sport. Yeah. Kelly's a real one. Which Kelly is this Kelly? I don't know. And how do they know? How did they like, I think they just realized after a minute, I was just like, oh, yeah. Different last name. But they were just like, I totally get it. It's the worst. Yeah, I love them. And they were also like, and at the gym, right? I don't think you said, I don't think you sent it to the wrong Kelly. I think you sent it to the right Kelly. Yeah. They yes and and they're like, there's always, I've always wanted to talk to you about this actually. Yeah, I've been meaning to. Wrong Kelly, wrong my ass. I'm the right Kelly. Comments, someone said, I like Kelly better than OP. OP said me too, to be honest. Someone said, you'd better pivot this into a stronger friendship with the wrong Kelly. Someone said, seems like it was the right Kelly, to be honest. Someone said, at least she was a homegirl about it. I'd be mortified, but relieved to know someone can relate. OP said, that was basically the turn of events. Then I had to tell the internet about it. I have to know who this Kelly is. Is she like her teacher when she was younger? We don't know anything about. Is she her therapist? We can only assume. Whoever it was, I mean, they're very helpful. She's your aunt? You could almost say that she lent a hand and left a smile. That's not the right phrase. And now he's going to kill us. And I can't believe you said it again. Yeah, sucks. That's the new Smosh motto. I never want to see a pumpkin in my life. We're going to put it in the new studio. Leave us in for a while. Yeah, big. And I'm like, I can't wait. On the next Reddit set. That's recovered in pumpkin vines. On the new Reddit set, which you're going to see next Saturday, it will be right above. And we're just going to have a whole thing of cake. Yeah, Hillsbury Doe Boy cake. I'll be a Doe Boy for Halloween. Up, Craig. That's giving the new boat. Actually, that's really insensitive if you dress up as a Doe Boy. You think? It's extremely. Isn't he basically naked the whole time with like a little sash? I don't even have a sash. Yeah, he's just going full. I think he's just fully. He's full, dude. But he has a hat. He has a hat. He has a hat. Well, that's fine. I'm like, Happy Halloween. Everyone's like, cover her up. She's naked with a hat. Hide him. Anyways, thank you both for joining me for these confessions. Thank you. Anytime. This was crazy. Are we safe? No. OK. Anyways, and thank you all for watching. And we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye.