Daniel Pyne + Michael Anthony (Carolla Classics)

Welcome to Corolla Classics, I'm your host Superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fans like the clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. If you'd like to hear any of the full episodes or clips presented in these episodes, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub-stack, adamcorolla.substack.com. Here you'll find the ad-free archives of the Adam Corolla show, the Adam and Dr. Drew show, as well as the podcast Beat It Out. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us at ClassicsAtAdamCorolla.com. Alright, let's get the clips. Come up first we have Adam Corolla show 801 featuring Daniel Pine, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop from 2012. Good day Allison Rosen. Hello Adam Corolla. Good day, Bald Brian. Number one. Speaking of numbers, LegalZoom Top 5 Reasons Start Your Business at LegalZoom.com. Number one, you want to succeed, right? Yes. Cut the cost. How much do you think a lawyer costs an hour? Average. 500. 212. Ha ha. 295. 295. Oh my God, who can afford that? Nobody. That's only they can afford themselves. Exactly. That's why lawyers always go to lawyers. That's right. Only the only ones who can afford themselves. Imagine if roofers were that way. What a racket. It would all be really wet when it rained. That's right. Yeah, we would. LegalZoom. Many of the fastest growing companies in America all started through LegalZoom. You get the peace of mind through LegalZoom. A $50,000 guarantee in business legal plans. And also you get the free accounting software, free domain name and more. Support them. They support us, right Dawson? Be sure to enter Adam in the referral box at checkout for more savings for LLCs, Incorporations, MBAs, trademarks and more. Trust LegalZoom.com. LegalZoom is not a law firm and self-help services are provided at your specific direction. All right. So, I'll tell you all about the big race over there in Long Beach over the weekend. First, I'll sort of work in order. I had an MRI a couple of days ago because I had my hip problem, which wasn't really a hip problem. It was a buttocks problem, but it was a side butt problem. I don't know what the hell. What's the sexiest part of the butt? That part where your hip bone is, they just go down about six inches and right in there somewhere was an excruciating pain. And I'm not normally in excruciating pain the other day or the other week and finally one in and they're swelling and blah, blah, blah. And one in and got my MRI and Dr. Bruce called and said, you had a tear. So, some muscle tear down there, but it feels good now. Good. Do you have any idea how you did it? How you tore your butt? Your side butt? I've had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times. I, uh, it's Bruce coming in today. And is he underwater? I figured out that I changed my surface. I skipped rope in my bedroom instead of in the room. I always skip rope in and somehow screwed my feet up with the extra carpet and padding or something. Freakish, getting old, being just stupid week, whatever. But got my, uh, You're all worthless in a week. Yeah, that's me. So I had a tear and then I went into USC to speak to the business school, which I've been known to do a time or two. And it was horrible because it was like 20 hours after those porches. I think there were Chinese, I don't know if they were exchange or whatever. They're forced into. Foreign students, a couple of 22, 23 year olds just got shot dead in their car. And it was one of those like, you know, when it's like that drug deal gone bad, so you sort of go, well, I guess they shouldn't have been involved with whatever. This was a couple of engineering students in their, you know, 23 year old engineering students just sitting in their car parked somewhere near USC. And, uh, oh, they think it maybe was a, a, maybe a botched car jacking. Like really no shit botched, like, um, cause they found them dead in their car. But anyway, moving on. The tragedy is they never got to hear you speak. Yes. Well, one of the tragedy, their engineering students. I was speaking at the business school, but, uh, either way, it was like, it was bummed out cause like I was, I was going to USC the day after. Like, what was the mood on campus like? Uh, sadly, not sad. Yeah. Um, there were news vans and things there. And I'm going to speak to the student and half of the Marshall business school are Asian half plus Asian students. So it's this weird thing where sort of one of your own, which is essentially executed outside of this, you know, I don't know, a two blocks from where we're standing right now, just last evening or in the wee hours. Uh, yeah, it's a picture. I think of the two sad people that were killed for. And again, for no reason, they had a new BMW. They thought maybe the guys wanted their car. I don't know what the story was. And now all of a sudden I'm supposed to be kind of telling stories and cracking lies and being amusing and entertaining. And it's like, it's literally not been 24 hours since these two were just senselessly murdered just in a nice new BMW, just, you know, two blocks from where we are. I don't know what it was. But again, just the notion there's not that much outrage about it. It's like, I was probably a carjacking, but anyway, I guess it went wrong. Yeah. The idea that life just goes on though and everyone, because I remember when I was in college, this student committed suicide and I went to a small school and so everyone was very aware of it. But the next day everyone just went to class anyway. And I remember feeling very weird about that. Like something should stop. People should recognize the tragedy. I, I, and as bad as that is, it's weirder when obviously it's two people and they weren't committing suicide. They wanted to live. Somebody just shot them while they were sitting. They made the mistake of pulling over in the wrong place. Or I don't know what the story was, but it'd be nice if they could catch the chaps that just decided to be a good idea to murder a couple of people who they for no, because to me that is, that is the, that is the most dangerous element our society has to offer, which is, you know, you watch those 48 hours in those 2020s and it's like, she had a lover. She took an insurance policy out on, okay, she'd been married nine times and her husbands and that, that to me, that's like, listen, you want to marry a nut job who's putting rat poison into your steel cut oatmeal every morning. That's your, you know, an awful lot about how to do that. That's your GD business. Right. Ty. This is someone you've never met, never seen, have nothing to do with just sort of basically executing you. And you, and also, and we always get in every life is precious. There's old hobos whose life isn't really that precious and then there's young people that are bright and that are engineering students and that came from a million miles away to live their dreams. Their life is a little more precious than a lot of other people's and it's sad. Imagine for the parents, like I wonder when the last time they saw their kids was, they send them off to college and then this happens. So that felt weird going and speaking at the Marshall Business School, but I had nice talk with the kitties and we recorded the whole thing and I think we're just going to, it's Q&A with some, here's how, here's my keys to success. What was the class? Do you have any idea? Like what was the course? It's a general business. Was it marketing? Was it new media? Was it? Yeah. It's like, you know, entertainment and blah, blah, blah, media and all that, all that good stuff. Mark who's the teacher who's a friend of Dr. Drew's, a co-wrote, well, you know, Mark Young did a study with them. I didn't know. Yeah. Mark Young who did the study with Dr. Drew and I don't know if that was the mirror effect or that was another book, but either way, the one on narcissism that fucking drove me nuts because I just sit. All these motherfucking celebrities, here's the book I'm going to write. The power, the power of wanting things a certain way and wanting them your way, you know, how you can overcome. Like, you know, it's those stories like when somebody takes once in a while, the bank fucks up and it puts a hundred thousand dollars into your account by mistake and then you spend 35,000 and then when they go, oh, yeah, that was a mistake. We went to 35 back. You're like, well, fuck that. Right. That is bullshit. That's bullshit. It's a bank error in my favor. Yeah. I'm getting fucked. And it's like, would you be talking this way if it wasn't you or if that wasn't your money or if you were out the 35 K? What your brain is able to do. Right. The cognitive disney. Yes. Why didn't somebody leave a note on my car when they scratched it versus how many times you bumped into somebody else's car and not left a note? Just what you expect out of others and what you want. What you want to be versus just. You know, if I had done, if that were me, I would have bo-bo-blot. It's like, you wouldn't have done any of that. Yeah, versus what is. I was conducting my own little experiment with Dr. Drew because as I've said famously, many times his whole thing was he had to get every goddamn celebrity on Love Line to fill out his like three page, are you a narcissist, you know, questionnaire. And he's such a clinician, that guy, and he's such a fucking pussy student. Don't be a player, hater. He would have them fill it out, you know. And then so what would happen is the show would start and the person would be like, like you'd be interviewing me. So tell me about your band. Well, hold on, let me see. Who might, who am I going to be? Let's see. Stephen Jenkins, third eye blind. I'll be Stephen Jenkins from third eye blind. Thanks for coming to the show today, Stephen. Yeah. What's been going on with your band? No problem. So you guys just got off of a big European tour, right? You play what festivals did you play? That's. Hold on a second. So if I think I'm the smartest person that's ever born versus the smartest person in the room, is it, is that one of them? Okay. Sorry. What was he saying? I was asking which festivals you played in Europe. Um, hold on. You don't get to do a different question. So tell me about the new album. Elm is. I heard a little bit of it. It's great. Less Elm was good. And we got a new album. Yeah, it was good. Coming out. I'm just back in here. And well, if I don't, so if I don't have a middle name where it says middle initial, I just don't write anything or if I put a zero, people think it's Oscar. Is your middle name on the album? Hmm. Are you? Okay. Middle name for the album. This is, this is, this was a year. This is a year of this is a year of him, him getting fucking people filling the paperwork out. So I'd said, Hey, Drew, knock it off. And by the way, why do we sound all weird and shitty now? Does something happen to our mics? Nope. Okay. So I said, I said, Drew, knock it the fuck off. I can't interview these people. They're filling out your fucking paperwork. Can't they do it after? I said, look, here's the rule. They can do it before the show. They can do it after the show or they can do it during the commercial. But when the show starts or we come back from the commercial, like the teachers would say pencils down, you know, flip, flip it over pencils down. Does he understand that, Drew? He'd say, Yeah, okay, I got you. And then the person who would be sitting, Stephen Jenkins would be sitting there and Drew would be sitting where you are. We'd come back from the commercial and he'd be busy, busily sawing away on his paperwork and I'd just be staring at him and looking at Drew. And I'd say to Drew, what's up, Drew? And he'd go, what? And I'd say, well, what's going on here? Well, what? I'd say, he's fucking filling the thing out and the show started. That's what we'd start every show with an argument about this. And he'd go, I didn't see it. And I'd say, you didn't see it, Drew. You didn't see it. And he'd go, no, I did not see it. I'd say, you're you're three feet away from the guy who's fucking filling out the paper. What do you mean? You didn't see it. I didn't see it. And Drew would get weird and sensitive and hurt sometimes or he went like, I'm Adam. I'm sorry. I didn't see it. Okay. I don't pay attention to these things. And I think he didn't see it or he didn't want to see it. Sorry. Sometimes the Steven Jenkinses of the world would pick up on the weirdness and go, like, what's going on? What's going on? Yeah, it's like, Drew be like, Adam has this thing. He started dumping on me. And then at a certain point, I got, I got fucking to live it because it would just keep happening. And I realized he wanted them to fill out the fucking paperwork so badly that he was able to sit there and not see it, even though the room was perfectly lit and he was two feet away from the person. Oftentimes just sitting looking at him like you're looking at Brian. Like, of course you fucking saw it. So we'd get in this argument where I'd say, he didn't see it, Drew. And he'd go, I did not see it. He didn't see it. And he'd go, I did not see it. Then I'd go, give me your fucking car keys. And he'd go, what for? And I go, because you can't drive. I cannot allow you to drive. You shall not be allowed to drive. You cannot drive. It's fucking dangerous. You'll hurt yourself. You'll kill somebody if you physically did not see. Of course you saw the person. You saw them very clearly. You did not process it because you did not want to process it because you wanted so badly for that paperwork to get filled out. That's what's going on. And he'd be like, that's not what's going on. I just didn't see. I'd be like, please, you're going to just fucking admit. I'm right. Admit. You don't know what's going on. You're with your own eyeballs and it's not sending the right messages to your brain because your brain wants something to be so much. And this, by the way, this is why they found out that I witnesses to crimes and stuff is just a it's a disaster half the time. Like you just you're everyone's playing there. Everyone has their own retarded puppet show in their head and that's about it. And you're just getting in the way. And so this, this, this, this was the argument. This was this should have been the book how people can just fucking block shit out of their brain. Even the great Dr. Drew, so where the hell was I? Oh yeah, USC. Then over the weekend went to a children's hospital. And all the drivers, just about all the drivers from the celebrity and the pros and everybody, Long Beach, Grand Prix thing, went to the children's hospital in Long Beach and had this great moment. So you're, you know, you're downstairs and they're doing the thank you and the hospital staff and, you know, the nurses are always so, you know, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And it's always like, oh, you know, what are we doing? And they give you a they give you a bunch of toys to give away. They give you wagons. You pull these, you know, radio flyer wagons with all the stuffed animals filled with galaxy soccer balls. I was like, I said, I said, a Brody Jenner. I said, I said, do Brody Jenner. I said, I goddamn guarantee you 20 years ago when your pops Bruce was walking through this fucking hospital, he had a Rams football, not a goddamn soccer ball. This is a very bad sign at the time. It's getting these sick kids going on soccer. But anyway, we go on. So we go into the there's a Leon Rimes in there, too. So we go on the foresight there either. We go into the we go and so it's like a lot of these kids are sick. A lot of these kids, you know, blah, blah, blah. And a lot of these kids don't know what it's like to sleep in their own bed. And it's really cheer them up to have you celebrities coming. So it's like we go into the first room and there's like a you forget about the etiquette, you know, you know, say, how is it going? How are you feeling? You know, what's going on? When you're walking out of here. Yeah, so like I literally said to the first girl, fucked up. Like she's a seven year old. I said, when when when you think you might be able to go home? She's like, oh, this afternoon. I was like this afternoon. Yeah, yeah. I was like an hour or something. And the mom was like, mom, really? She's like, oh, yeah, later on today. I was like, oh, where do you live? I just local. Oh, just just half hour away. Yeah, yeah. I'm fucking thinking, hey, bitch, I drove an hour and a half to get out of here. You're going home later to find someone. I'm sicker. I'm trying to wrestle the stuffed animal back from her. You know, like, hey, that fucking that fucking stuffed elephants were sick people. That people are going home. Right. Yeah. So so then we go into the next room and I'm like, hey, sweetie, when are you going home today? Still a bit. So my brain. Yeah, yeah. It's going for local. We're heading home. I'm like, what the fuck? Where's everyone going? I went to where's my fucking sick kids? Right. So they not trust you around them? Eventually we got some sick kids and we got to that thing. Yeah. Yeah. You and we had to put, you know, put the gowns on, put the mask on, everything. And, you know, I was saying at the press conference and all that kind of stuff yesterday when they talk about, you know, it's for the kids, it's for the kids, for the kids. I just wanted to remind people about the parents because the kids, you know, five, six, seven years old, first off, they don't give a fuck who we are. So I'm like, hey, man, show, you know, hey, Mr. Birchham used to dig your shit on K-Rock. And you were awesome before I was born. Yeah. Yeah. They don't know. And I get when he roast. Honestly, it's not. They don't know Bill Fickner either. Like they don't know, you know, hey, entourage, you know, they don't know any of their six, you know, I mean, unless Wawa Wauvesi walks in a fucking place and they don't give a shit. That song. All right. We're going to play the point is this. It's the parents. The parents are a they need to help more in the kids. The kids, sadly, along for the ride, they're just they don't know what's going on. The parents know what's going on. And it's got to be heart wrenching and heartbreaking for the parents. Those are the people that need the cheering up. Honestly, the kids in bed, the kids watching cartoons, the kids going through hell, but the kid doesn't know what the kid is going through. The parents are the ones that are all too aware of what the reality and the gravity of the situation. You're 100 percent right. Alice and I were just talking about before the show where Christy had a harder time with my sickness than I did because I was kind of like, well, I'm in the thick of it. I don't know. I'm kind of out of it, whatever. And she's fully aware, fully going through all of it, but just watching, you know, but whatever. And that's how it is with the parents. And and and not only that, I mean, obviously, you're, you know, have all your faculties, your adult, you can understand statistics, percentages and what everything means. These kids, honestly, when you're six, who the hell knows? You're still believing in Santa. I mean, you just don't know what's going on other than you don't feel right or you want to know why we're getting all these tests or doing things. But the poor parents are sleeping on folding chairs and they're there on a brave face. And they're having to pretend and the parents are a mess as the kid leaves and stuff. So to me, it was like, let's go cheer up some fucking parents, because the kid doesn't give a shit. The kid has Disney TV anyway. Let's go make some 40 year old people smile and some grandparents. Yeah. No, Jerry Westland. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Jerry, the guy owns the strip club. Couple things. Wait, who's that? I didn't. There's a guy named Jerry Westland. And Jay, I'll show you a picture or something. I'm having to laugh with this guy. He's one of the there's there's there's two guys each year who buy their way in through an auction. And this guy owns a string of strip clubs through the, you know, the Dade County beyond and he is just the strip belt. Yeah, he is just fucking perfect. He's just he has the glasses with the six hundred dollar gold frames on him. He has the pinky ring. He has the bracelet and you'll see he's in the middle there. I'm not doing him. Now, he buys in every year, not doing him justice. Wait, you got to see the pictures. He he's filthy. He slaps every chick on the ass. He destroys cars and during practice, practice. Not qualifying practice, not qualifying, just practice. There he is. He's perfect. And he's big and loud and fucking in charge and own strip clubs and every joke's a double entendre and he's got a big gold Rolex and it's the whole nine yards. And he comes in every time and he takes out five people on the track every time. And so during practice, I got out of the car and I said to everyone, get by clean. And they said one person ruined the car. And I said, Jerry Westland. And they're like, yep, that's him. That that is him. I can't remember his name, right? I guess name right now. I'm thinking Jerry West. Anyway, crazy guy, funny guy, but just and I said to the guys at the Toyota, I said, look, do the math because on big years, when the economy's right, it costs about 100, 105, 110 thousand dollars to get in on this race. But when the economy's sagging, it's like 65 K. So it's like some years like this year's like 65 K. So he ruins four of those scions and you guys end up running at a deficit. He literally he totals the cars. He totals the cars during practice because the the barriers at Long Beach are you you hit the apex of your corner and you run it all the way out to the widest part and when you run it all there is when you run it out to the widest part. That's him. That's that's his watch. He's wearing a gold chain under there. It's just it's just awesome. Yeah, and there's ring and there's cement barriers and you hit the barriers. And that's what happens. So let's see what happened. Oh, man, talk about this for a long time. I was odds makers had me number one. I saw they dropped you and then they dropped me. And it's just it's weird. By the way, you never you never felt more self conscious. Oh, by the way, he's driving the T he's driving the trans am the he's driving the smoking the band at Trans Am. We go down, curl that kind of me. See the guy the guy is a cartoon of a strip club owner. Yeah. But he fucking lives it, eats it and breathes it and loves it. This fucking loves it. So now we do so we do. That trans in a white snake video. I'm I'm number one. So Vegas has me at number one. I don't know why, but they have me at number one because what they do is they go out and they watch you with the track and then they talk to the instructors. I think they like I think they do what sports guys do, like they talk to the coach. Any any injuries? What's going on? Has a kicker feeling? So I had a side but yeah, check the weather. How's the side but doing? Yeah. So there's there's Jerry's car anyway. So he I'm number one and everyone comes up to me during during during our practice day and says, oh, guess who's number one? And I said, oh, I'm I didn't know that. I didn't have any ideas. Number one, I'm flattered. I'm number one. Then we do lead and follow. Now, this is just first time on the track. This is last week. This is just lead and follow. Just fall the fall the instructor round. And when you're done four cars, next guy slides up, you slide to the back. Instructor will keep the pace. You stay behind him. No passing anyone. No passing the instructor. What's the purpose of this? Just to get the lay of the land. This to get you acclimated to the track to Long Beach because you've been running up at Willow Springs and now we're getting you to the track at Long Beach and it's lead follow. No pass. No anything. I somehow after that session go from number one to number three. And I'm like, what's this base on? Yeah, I'm following the instructor in the pace car. Like what? Who said I stunk at this? Like I literally just followed my instructor and then it would slide back and follow the guy behind me. But we know a lot of times not to interrupt that can just because of where the betting is like betting a lot on who jumped you Brody Jenner and someone else. I've been a lot of action on that. Brody Jenner, Brody Jenner and Adrian Brody both both jumped me. And you're right, could have been a lot of action. And also as I was thinking about it, the pro thing's been going on for like 30 years, 35 years. So it was an incredible amount of time. And I started thinking, I don't know if a comedian. There's been comedic actors, stuff like that. I don't know that a comedian has ever won this thing because comedians are notorious. As I say, all the time, notoriously bad at everything except for comedy. Look, you know, the stuff's usually, you know, who wins these things? Serious actors, because they're the most intense. They prep and they're fucking like who wins these things. Tom Cruise, because Tom Cruise takes it really. Jeff, Jeff Ross does not win this thing. Yeah, Tom Cruise does bring the same psychotic intensity. It's almost like the guy who looks best in his fire suit is the guy who's going to win. Well, how many comedian car guys out there are? There's you, Tim Allen, Titus, yeah, I don't. But they usually throw in some chick as a comedian or some dude. I don't know. But if you look at all three times, if you look at all the winners of the last like 30 years, I don't know that you will see a comedian in the group. But either way. Um, so now we do practice on the weekend. We have practice, um, early like 11 in the morning. And then at three or four o'clock, we're going to have qualifying. And this is where you get the $15,000 check presented by People magazine to your charity for the poll position, fastest lap time and blah, blah, blah. But after the practice session, it's raining buckets and they just the, the, the, the tracks flooded. So they cancel the, the cancel the qualifying. So how do you get the poll position? If you can't, well, they timed our practice laps, even though no one was going at that position, you know, whatever, they just did it. And I was second. I was so that puts me up to the front of the grid. And, uh, who is number one? Kim Coats, I think. Kim Coats from, he's an actor. You know him for the Patriots? Kim Coats. Yeah. Um, you know, really good guy. Um, remember the episode of entourage, the guy who killed himself? It was like the AA guy who was the producer who killed himself. Like he wanted to make that movie. And then it's like, I'm mixing up sopranos. This is the last season. Oh, very last season. Good season. Son of, sons of anarchy. Anyway, good guy. He's on the poll. I'm next to him. And because things have been screwed up, uh, Jerry's behind me. And there's a few other, there's a few other guys that are up there and, um, pole position is a Westland strip club name, by the way. And we, so we're all up there and I have really, he gets the thing. I don't know what the hell to do. And, um, well, then the race begins and there's a lot of, as usual, a lot of, a lot of chaos and he, and here's the thing. I realize, you know, I tell people all the time. Um, kind of weird. I said to, it was funny because there was a little controversy as there is every year. I, I said to everybody before the race, because there's a certain point. You have to time the start. If you don't do the start right, they make you go around again. You have to, they do a rolling start. Now the way you do the start on a rolling start is the guy who's on the pole position. He sets the pace. Everyone else is stacked up two by two behind him. So he's, he's to the left because the first turn is a left turn. So that's pole position. He has the inside for the first turn. I'm next to him and we're right next to each other and there's a pace car that's on the track in front of us. When the pace car pulls off, it's now up to us to set a reasonable pace. If he starts taking off, he's going to start to set the pace. If he starts taking off, whoever's throwing the green flag is not throwing the green flag. They'll let you go around. They'll tell you, go around again. He has to keep it at a slow and steady pace. I have to look at him and not get in front of him and keep him. Everybody has to get queued up and rolling. It's like, it's like somebody says, look, I will start this race when all of you guys are lined up neatly. There's 18 cars or however many, 12 cars in the first group. You need to be two next to each other all the way back, going the same speed. Once you guys do that, I'll throw the green. If I see anyone jump or anyone start picking up the pace and have someone behind, getting left behind or something, no green, you'll go around again. So it's a sort of an honor system. Everyone play nice. Nobody jump anything. Play clean. You'll get a green flag. You'll get a start. And once the green drops, it's on. So that's how they started. So he, you know, says to me, look, I'll keep it. And I said to him, second gear, 3500 RPM, 4000 RPM, I'll give you somewhere to go. Because there's nothing worse than having to shift. It's so loud at the beginning. You don't realize you should be shifting, blah, blah, blah, adrenaline, all that kind of stuff. So we sort of worked it out and we'll set the pace. And I told him, let's stay on him. And then the instructors leave and they just go, all the drivers, you all just stand in the room. And I just said, look, everybody for the love of Christ. If you see an opening and it's the first or second lamp, if you see that opening, it's going to be there in the third, fourth and fifth lap. If you see, you'll see when you race, there'll be a guy, it's like boxing. We'll see the guy's dragging his rider. He's not quiet. You'll see that opening and you'll see it on the racetrack. This you'll go this corner, that corner and that corner. That guy takes really well. But this one corner, he takes it a little wide. And I think I can catch him on that corner. So I said to everybody, take a lap because you all have to queue up and go single file through the first turn. You know, you're going from 100 miles an hour, 110 miles an hour down to like 50 on the first turn and everyone's got to line it up. And if someone goes balls out, you're going to take out five people on the first turn. And as the great racers always say, never. They have those racing adages that are always, they're totally fucked out, but they're also good. Like, you know, Dan Gurney said, never, never want to race on the first turn, but I've lost a lot of races on the first turn. So it's like, just get, let's get through the, let's get, let's get a lap. Let's get queued up and then we'll start racing. And I said, look, everyone, when you see that opening, good, it'll be their next lap. Use it next lap, but don't dive in on the first or second lap and fuck somebody up. Eddie Cibrião, Dovan on me at the end of the first turn, we didn't get, we didn't get it. We didn't get a quarter lap into the motherfucker thing. And I was funny because it's talking to Lynette about this. And she said, well, why didn't he listen to you? And I said, why doesn't anyone listen to me? I have no fucking idea. All I do is talk. And then I realized you can't stop some people from doing those things. You just can't stop them. And I said, this is the dude equivalent to it's like these are the Eddie Cibrião. Nice guy in the world. Adrian Brody, nice guy in the world. But when they get on the track, look out. And I said, it's kind of the dude equivalent to the chick who told my sister, I called my nephews Nazis. Like they there's nothing in it for them. It's just they can't fucking help themselves. It's almost a flaw. It's like they're not bad people, but they just can't. They can't help it. This is once that red mist comes over their eyes and the adrenaline is going. So anyway, I'll show you the I'll show you the front of the race. I'll show you the green flag dropping and you can see Eddie Cibrião dive in. Later on, he dove in. This is a. All right, so go back. Sorry, go back to the front. But if you look, if you look to the upper right, you'll see where we're looking for the green flag, the green flag. 65,000 people at this place was awesome and a beautiful day. So that's that's coats to my left. He's a little bit ahead of me. He's setting the pace and we're looking. You can run it. We're looking for the green flag. There it is. There it is. Right. So now there's the green flag and that's shoreline drive. Going going down the back straight, by the way, P.F. Chang's off the left past it. Right. Did you stop? Now I was thinking about stopping, but they don't have a drive through. Good dumplings. So fifth gear. There's coats. Now he has the inside and I have their own Cibriand. That was the first time the very first turn of the race. Now I could have turned in on him and then we would have crashed. This is basically the the fountain. And you'll see the way to run the track is you have to cut it off. You go over that. Those humps, these are rumble strips turned to the right here. Turn it up a little. So now at this point, you're adrenaline is just fucking pumping out of your chest because it's it's really because of the sixty five thousand people that are at the place, they're screaming and there's a jumbo tron and there's an announcer yelling your name. And I see if I. You know what messes me up right now, just visually, is the the paint on the road is still there. Yeah, the streets and it doesn't always go where you're supposed to go. No, and the like I said, there's cement everywhere. Right when you right when you get off the track. It's overtook. Yeah. Now you're supposed to bring it all the way out to the edge, but the edge is cement. So yeah, and I got Eddie, I got Eddie Cibriand back for what he did to me. And then Coates fucks up this. He fucks up this hairpin. And now it's back to back to shoreline drive and back through the streets again. So I ran in I was in third for a little bit and then I was running in second for a while. And at this point. This point, probably doing about one hundred and ten and then it's fifth and then it's fourth and then it's into the left hand turn and over the hump. Feel yourself like and that's all cement. All those walls, that's why everyone ruins their fucking cars. Because they they always get in and so nice topi areas right there. Anyone go through that. Oh, yeah, last the last year I did it. Somebody someone when the process drove right through the topi air. And again, you want to you want to clip this. Now, you see. Coates, I'm up his ass now. And once you start driving in your mirrors, it fucks you up because you start looking in the mirrors and you stop looking at your breaking points and you start missing your apexes on your corners and you're not. Once you get up in your mirrors, it fucks you up. Well, watch this until I take over first place. Please, what's how things are going right now? You're here. Yeah, because right right now I'm like, I'm in second place. We're two and a half or two laps in. We got a 10 lap race. I'm going to hang out here and I'll let him make a mistake because he will make a mistake. He's going to miss a shift. He's going to be over driving it. He's going to be up in the mirrors. And I'm literally three or four feet away from him at this point. And I'll drive up his ass until he fucks. He will fuck up. And I think you'll see him fuck this corner up. He fucked up a gear there. And then he missed that corner and it's a lot of people. There's 65,000 people there. It's insane. And I'm just going to I'm just going to stay in his rear view until he fucks up. That's the best way, by the way, whether it's just during your commute or you're out doing a celebrity race or vintage race, just just stay up someone's ass until they fuck up. They will fuck up. You don't have to. This is me taking over. Here we go. Right. All right. So now I'm in the lead and so now it's like so now we have this I have this problem. Not a big problem, but I'm in the lead and there's about six and a half laps there that left and I got my kids there and Lynette's there and everyone's there. Dr. Bruce, everyone's there. And OK, so now I'm thinking, OK, just drive your race. Just just drive your race and start start putting a little space between you and second place. And sure enough, I do start driving my race and I'm I'm I'm enough experience where I'm like hitting my apexes and my turn. I'm not driving the more noise you're making, the worse you're driving. And I'm calm, you know, and you can see this at amcroll.com if you like. And I'm sort of driving my race. And at a certain point I look up in my rear view and no one's within striking distance. And when I say striking distance, what I mean is is when you get to that hairpin at the very end of shoreline, if someone is 10, 15, 25 feet behind you, they'll just dive inside and take your ass out, as I've said many times. But if there's 80, 90 feet behind you, they can't do it. If you can keep this buffer of 75, 90 feet, if you can keep five, eight car lengths, they can't jump you. They can't dive in, they can't do it. So we get about four laps in, five laps in. I'm in first place. I'm driving well and driving smooth. How many laps total? Ten. And I'm looking at my rear view and I think, OK. Well, I got a good five, eight car lengths. I'm in first place. I'm driving well and it's a beautiful day and there's no water or anything on the track. And now I'm just going to keep this buffer and I'm going to take this fucking one home. But there's something I didn't count on. And the thing I didn't count on is Eddie Cibrian dove in badly on Brody, wrecked Brody's car badly. And now I got a waving yellow flag and waving yellow flag means slow down, slow it down, coming up on a wreck. So of course, when I slow it down, whoever I've built up my 100 foot lead on slows down less, they get right up onto you again. So you can go back here for a second. And that was Hill Harper, right? No, that came later. This is the yellow flag. And I think Kim Cotes may even go past me here. So now this is what I'm seeing. I'm seeing a waving yellow flag. That's Kim Cotes going past me. That's the yellow flag. And that's them pointing at him going go back. You don't pass him. But. I had a nice that's to the right. That's to the right. That's Brody Jenner smashed against the wall. Oh, by the way, it's always a bad wreck. If you see him on the right, he started off on the left. You see the left. If you look at the left front of his car, that's totally fucked up. He didn't start on the right. He hit the left wall so hard that he actually slid all the way across it to the right wall and that's where he rests. So now I've got my lead built up, except for my lead has been erased because I'm getting the yellow flag and then also I don't know what to do with the yellow flag because I'm not sure when it's on and when it's when it's off and on again. OK, waving, waving yellow flag means slow down. When do we start racing again? We have a full we have a full course. Well, of course, the guy behind me figures out it's on before I figure out it's on. How though? What is is there a signal? The signal is a when you're the guy in the lead, you're sort of you're the guy who has to make the call when you're the guy who's in second. You're like, fuck it, I'm going. And number one, number two, if you pass a couple of flag stations and they're not waving anything, then it's on, except you don't have a different flag. If I were in charge, I'd make there to be a race back on flag. You don't know where those flag stations are because you don't see them unless they're waving something. So I passed by Brody Jenner's wrecked car and then I was like, I don't know. What's are we on or we off? Are we on or off? And next to you know, Kim Coats is pulling next to me on the straightaway and he's on and that's when I went back on again. At a certain point he got funked up by I think he dove in on Hill Harper and it was the funniest thing with that Hill Harper Hill Harper. Oh, here it is. You can show it again. Sorry. Funny, funny thing. I'll tell you the Hill you watch what happens. Coats jumps in. Here's the hairpin. He jumps in on Hill Harper and then Adrian Brody like wax into him. And then and then now you got Coats at the if you see his car at the very end of the hairpin just literally nose against the wall and sticking out, which is good for me because now no one can dive in around that corner. I got to go around every time. But there's a car parked in the middle of the track and then there's two cars. And his Brody's cars on one side and his cars down on the other side. The thing that's funny about Hill Harper, he's from CSI or something nice guy and he's like mid pack dude, you know. And the rally is is good time on this track is about a minute forty seven, minute forty eight, minute forty nine. If you're fast, you're doing this track in a minute forty eight to a minute forty nine. If you're a minute fifty, minute fifty one, you're way off. You're way off the pace and you're not you're nowhere close. So if you and I if we're going to race at Long Beach and I go, Alson, would you do would you do your your would you do your time to lap at or would you do your qualifying lap eight minutes? And you're like, I did mine in one forty one forty eight five or one forty nine. I'd be like, oh, OK, because this is going to be close. And then if I turn to Brian and he said, I did mine in one fifty one. I'd be like, all right, I'll see you at the party. Because that two seconds a lap, huge. The two seconds of laps going to be I'm going to put a hundred and fifty yards between me and you on each and every lap. And I don't have to worry about you. Hill Harper was in that group in like a fifty two group. And as a matter of fact, son of a bitch, he says to me at the kids hospital, he says to me, what do I got to do to get a couple seconds off my lap? And I'm looking at him and I realized, oh, you don't. I remember thinking, oh, you're your mid pack guy. You're not you're not up front. You're not with the Brody's and me and the rest Kim Cotes. Like you're not with any of these guys. Brody's. Yeah, you're not one of the Brody's. You're not any of the Brody's. And so I remember just looking at him and I said, you want to know how to get a couple seconds off this? Because I just talked to my buddy, Tanner Fouse, who kicked ass here a couple of years ago with me. I said, at the end of Shoreline and at the end of the other straightaway, break late, they got a lot of rubber laid down on the track from where the drifters go through and people break too early and you make up a ton of time. So the only place you're really going to make up time is at the end of each straightaway. And he said, that's so nice that you gave him tips. Or maybe is that how everyone is? No, I had this thing and I have a lot of these moments in my life where I think, should I should this is part of the strategy. I'm literally telling this guy, Hill Harper, don't worry about break late, break late, out break the other guys. When you see them hit their brake lights, you stay on the gas for another three Mississippi, then you break, you'll make it around the corner and you'll make up a ton of ground. Now, I didn't know that 48 hours later, this guy would be up my ass going down because he was mid-pack. But everyone, he was going good and everyone kept crashing and smashing into each other and we'll take a look at, you'll take a look at him actually hitting me and like lap seven, that's him up my ass. That's me in first, me hitting him. Now I'm swinging out to my little tent in his car there. And eventually I will I will block him when he goes to goes inside on some things. But the guy was at the hospital with, given the fucking tips, is now at my ass. So then he was at my ass for like the last man, I don't know, four, four laps or something. The fucking victory lap is the greatest five minutes of my life for forget everything. It was the greatest just going around honking, fucking waving. I should also I should I swear to God, it's fucking greatest thing ever. I should also tell you that the very beginning and I think we have the tape of the chick. All right, I don't know where these people come from, but it's literally it's like this. They take you in the back of this big tundra. They take you to the they take you to the streets, the shoreline drive. You get out. There's a chick with a fucking to-cotti bathing suit holding a sign with your name on it. That's the grandstands are packed. It's cloudless guy. Leanne Rimes is about to sing the Star Spangled Banner. And there's like there's like a you know, a big like stealth fighter that's flying overhead and you fucking crawl into this thing and the Marine Band is playing. And it's like, holy shit. And at the last second as I'm at this point, you fucking drenelin's going pretty good, especially when you're up on the front because you're setting the pace and it's all it's going to be on and like I said, Jumbotron, 65,000 people. The adrenaline is going and this blonde chick is always the same chick. It's the 50 year old blonde chick sticks her head. Now, the guy you see in the picture, he's my Wrangler. Every car comes with a dude. That dude is going to help you buckle in. He's going to pull the pin on the fire bottle. He's going to once you get all buckled in in the door shut, he's going to ask you how you want your mirrors because you can't reach anything from inside the car. He'll adjust the mirrors. He'll get all the harnesses and get you all set and go. You're all ready to go and he'll shut you in your car. So that's my that's David. That's my Wrangler, big, big fan of the podcast and then random chick. And by the way, when you're getting in your car, it's like everyone's like leaning in. Hey, Adam, can we get a picture? Can we get in? It's like you're fucking up in your head. This chick, let's see if we have the clip. Let's see if we have. Get him, Adam. Appreciate it. Are you scared? No. You're going to go fast. Who are the people? We're not asking us. It's usually kids. Who are the people come around you? Moments before you do something, guys, are you freaked out or are you scared? Hey, I'm not. I'm scared. Are you scared? I'm scared. Are you scared? You'd be nervous. Am I nervous? I'd be freaking out. What is that? Is there no decorum whatsoever? Just for cool or smile. Yeah, my uncle died in a race. He's a celebrity, right? Adam, you're very funny and good to see you. Thank you. Adam. She's just like a litter. Are you scared? Yeah, I don't want to be here right now. Shut the fuck up, bitch. I know people wear their shit on their sleeve. They do the... That's my mom's greatest compliment is I saw you on Letterman. He didn't seem nervous because she would be nervous if she was on Letterman. So the highest compliment you can get from my mom was not nervous. Sure. That's the greatest fucking... The greatest gift a mother can give a son. One wrangler who adjusts your mirrors and one wrangler who keeps people like her away from you right before the race. Don't know who the fifth year old chick with the fucking camera phone. She's standing around. It's not like she's got a Pirelli windbreaker on or anything. Yeah, she seems like a fan. She's just fucking standing around the track. I'm trying to get fucking buckled in and she's got to lean in and want to know if I'm scared. You got to see the very top of that one more time because we need a little more head on that thing, Jeff. Let's see. Don't get him, Adam. Appreciate it. Are you scared? You're gonna go fast? Who are the people? Okay. Just give us. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Everyone just fucking hanging their head in your car taking pictures and shit when you're trying to get your shit. There's nothing... I'm surprised they allow that. They can't control it. It's so weird, but when you have that thing where it's like, all right, I'm trying to get my fucking head right. I don't want to go into that first turn and miss a shift and bury this car into that wall. I don't want anyone talk to me three days before a live show. That's right. Are you scared? Getting in the headspace. Are you scared? Oh, that's right. I have my checklist. Shit. Sunglasses. Fuck. Driving gloves. SPF. SPF. Scared shitless to drive. Yes. I forgot about that cunt. I forgot. I mean, look, there's a couple of scenarios here. Either... I mean, it's A or B. Either, yes, I am scared. Thank you. Oh, you know what? I forgot about my paralyzing fear for just one moment. I'm so glad you reintroduced that into my skull. Or I'm not scared, but now I'm thinking about it. And then all I get is angry. Yeah. I'm not scared. I'm fucking pissed. I went on the fuck you got your fat ass out on this racetrack. Why are you sticking your head in my car? Ask me if I'm scared before the show. And listen, I know I sound like a dick, but... And people go, look, people are nervous. They don't know. Then just fuck your lean. Lean your head in and go, hey, go get them. It's going to be fun. This is hard, though. Okay, UBU with the what is the... Okay, are you scared? What is people... Why are these people scared? That's right. I don't think she realized you were talking about her. I talk about dumb people in front of them and it's really, they're like pets. You say what you will. You know, me and Lynette have a nice conversation about Molly's cancerous ear right in front of fucking Molly. It's awesome. We don't have to go in the other room and speak Hungarian like my grandparents. It's awesome. Are you scared? Thanks, sweetie. That's just what I needed for her. She's fucking buckle up. Right. Maybe we'll get the victory lamp in here somewhere at some point. Did you realize you'd... There's maybe a stupid question. Did you realize you'd won as soon as you crossed the finish line or was there something like... I did. I did because they give you the lap countdown from 10 down to zero and then I saw the checker. I got the checker and then... Oh, the fucking big bottle of champagne in the back of the truck and everyone's honking their horn. Did you do milk or is that like a NASCAR thing? A NASCAR only. I don't know. I'll tell you what you shouldn't be scared of, man great. 100% cast iron, 100% made America. That's right. Steakhouse quality grilling right in your own backyard. You know what? Forget about your backyard. Go out front, show off a little. That's right. This isn't for front yard grilling. This is front yard grilling. No, no dog run. No, this is front yard and at front deck, I'll accept as well. But you go out, let the neighbors... Let them know you've arrived with your man great. They don't grill where they can see you. That's right. It's almost driveway grilling. Yep. Now, now, now, and then believe me, there'll be no hot dog in it out there part of the pond because they don't have flare ups. It does not allow for flare ups so the meat doesn't get dried out and charred. No more dry meat. 20 bucks, by the way, gets you the man great. Click through the man great banner at adamcrawler.com. Plus, you get to... You get these special Adam Carolla show branded. It's branded into the grilling brush. 20 bucks, man great, everybody. You couldn't even take it off the grill brush if you wanted to, which you never would want to. No, no. So anyway, I got to tell you, winning that motherfucking thing was the greatest, greatest fucking thing ever and was having... Did you get a big trophy? Yeah, get a big crystal. We'll find a picture of it. But I couldn't take it with me. It was like it was too big and we had to get in the tundra truck and whatever. You can see... Oh yeah, there's a large clear thing you're holding. Yeah, it's big, heavy, substantial, whatever. And that's me and Les Unger and Frederick who's the drifter from the pro side of the thing. And that's all of us. I'm fun up there. But see you at adamcrawler.com. I feel like best goddamn thing ever. And it was funny because I was just talking to Lynette before and I said, God damn it feels fucking good to win that race. And there's another fun picture. And she was complaining about Wawa Wawzi and you're the coolest and just be the coolest and all that kind of stuff. And she just said, that's the thing. If everyone gets to get in the tundra and do the victory lap, then it means nothing. If everyone gets to go up on the thing, it means nothing. The world is the exact opposite of that fucking everybody special. Everybody sit back. No, everybody bust your ass and even if you bust your ass, you'll be lucky. It takes a certain amount of luck even if you bust your ass. But sit around and you'll be the coolest. No. And this feels good is because there were 18 other people that wanted it just as bad. And that's the reason it's good. You have to wear special pants. And you get to wear a special outfit. Yeah. Yeah. Who are you most happy that you beat? Of all those people? Well, you know, the controversy was that Brody Jenner was pretty pissed at Eddie Cibrian who took him out and Eddie did not show up at the dinner. The pretty much mandatory dinner dinner that everyone goes to that night. And that's very rare that someone does not go to that dinner. And that probably means that there's a reason why he didn't show up. You know, you know, it was my second race with Adrian Brody. He's really fast. And I was a guy who probably enjoyed beating the most out of it because he got past me on the first one on the on the yellow. Adrian's a real cool guy. Talked to him and hung out with him and his mom and his dad, by the way, only child. Surprise, surprise. And mom works or worked for the Village Voices photographer. Yeah. She's a photographer. Yeah. So she she came out and I liked everyone I hung out with. It's not really like you want to beat this guy, you want to beat that guy. It's sort of there's going to be five or six guys, you know, they're going to be fast and it's going to be sort of luck of the draw who gets it in that and out of that five or six dudes. Fun. And it's cool because I get to come back next year's pro. Yeah, mandatory. I have to. Nice. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. It's out of my hands. All right. Daniel Pine, who wrote a lot of cool movies, by the way, any given Sunday, many vice, but fracture. One of the movies he he wrote that I really enjoyed the hell of. I love a thriller. It was about two years old. Let's figure that out. Anyway, new show Alcatraz, writer, executive producer along with JJ Abrams. Bring Daniel in next. Yeah. Back with Daniel Pine when it calls himself Dan, can we call you Dan? You can call me Dan. Alcatraz named his TV show book, A Hole in the Ground Owned by a Liar. Out as we speak. Yes. Good. All right. I just want to make sure it was out. I don't fall. Yeah, that's good. Closely. You can get it on get it Amazon. If you like it or your independent bookstore or your independent bookstore. But if you're going to do the Amazon, click through our website. Show us a little love. That's all I'm saying. There you go. And fracture. What year was fracture? Oh, 2007. See how long it's been. Definitely just a couple years. Yeah. Just the other day. Well, Brian minus the brain tumor has is pretty good with these things. It was like a year and a half old. And two summers ago. Yeah, timeless. Sir Anthony Hopkins. That is a well written movie. Thank you. I really enjoyed that movie. I don't feel like it. It was well reviewed too. I went and saw it at the theater, but I don't feel like it sort of slipped away or didn't get played enough on cable or something. Yeah, it kind of slid through. Nobody knows why. I mean, it depends on when they come out. But I think it came out around this time of year in April and sometimes thrillers get lost. That's Ryan Gosling, right? Ryan Gosling, Anthony Hopkins. It's really good. Really it was just it. And it was just one of those. It was one of those movies that had a bunch of twists and turns to it and Hopkins probably could or should have been nominated for his role. He was very good. Really. I'm going to go watch it tonight. Is it going to give me nightmares? No. Okay. No, it does. DVD. So. Yeah. It's just it's just it's just done. I don't know if you're married, Dan, but did your wife. I am. What did she think of this story? Why? Because it was about a guy who shoots his wife and basically tells Ryan Gosling to go prove it and just gets up in his head. I mean, it's just it's really smart. Just really well. Well done. Yeah. The whole idea was to do a psychological law thriller. Kill the wife. Get away with it. How much how much research do you have to do for something like that? Or what is your background that would that would attract you to it? I have always been interested in. Wife killing. Wife killing in the law, but sort of from a Kafka point of view, like the trial. Is that the dessert? The the and I've done I've done TV shows. That's the show. Kind of thing more of a Kafka. More of a Kafka is a book. I've done a lot. I had done a lot of TV shows that were law shows and I knew a prosecutor here in Los Angeles who has since become a judge. And she and I were talking about the perfect crime. A chick judge. That's good. That's your next ring play. Yeah, you don't want to get in. A chick judge. Oh, no, wait a minute. Any Murphy dresses up like a sassy black heavy set woman to judge. They're an idea factory. Mama judge. All right, sorry. That's right there. She's beautiful. She's blonde. You'd like her. Really? Yeah. Wow. And what happened? Fat in high school? No, I usually don't always really and yeah, dating basketball players. Must be Canadian. A bunch of Acne years. No, I don't think so. Not this girl molested. So sad. So she was she and I were talking about her or is your foreigner. She's a journalist out of the country. No, just hot and blonde and a judge. Yeah. There you go. Sexual. Do not go in front of her though. Do not commit. No, no, no, I get it. I got you. So we were talking about how to commit a perfect crime, how to get away with a crime and she was talking about how in the prosecutor's office, the thing that people like the least is to prosecute someone who defends themselves because so many things can go wrong. So it just seemed like a natural way to start a story. Yeah. I mean, look at that. Look at that guy shot up the subway heat. Oh, no, wait a minute. I didn't work out there. Well, and they just do crazy things. Yeah. They just put themselves on the stand. Yeah. And then talk to themselves. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. The hell was that Long Island? Shit. I've never heard of defending yourself going well. So I'm really surprised to hear that. I've never, ever heard of it going well. I well, it never goes. It's a pain in the ass. Yeah. It's a pain for the prosecutor because a hundred things can go wrong and the judge tends to err on the side of the defendant more because they don't know anything about the law and they want to make sure they don't get reversed and it's just a pain. What about, and I've always, I always bothered me when they do the thing where, you know, the wife drowns in the bathtub because she's narcoleptic and she falls asleep everywhere and she just fell asleep and she drowned in the tub and the guy swears he was downstairs watching the Packer game and he just went upstairs after the game and found her lifeless corpse in the tub and they go, all right, so that's his story. His story is I was downstairs watching the game and I went upstairs and she was in the tub. All right, so that's what happened according to him. And then they do that thing where the lawyer chooses not to put him on the stand and to me it's always like, what's he going to do if that's really his story? Like as a juror, you choosing not to put him on the stand means he's guilty to me and like they'll go, well, he's not good on the stand, but I don't care if he's good or bad. He was either fucking downstairs watching the game or he wasn't. There's no part where he's going to scream out, I killed it, right? He'll be like, oh, they'll never put him on the stand. He'll never be on the stand. Never went just nods and they all understand that. What is that? Yeah, what is that? If your guy didn't do anything, wouldn't you just go go on the fucking stand and say whatever the fuck you want? You didn't do anything. It has to do with the vagaries of the legal system. I mean, it has to do with the fact that you go. Now I'm getting hungry. It's about stories. There's no coincidence that so many movies and television are about the law because it's about making up stories. So you make up the story of what happened and the prosecution makes up a different story of what happened and the jury decides which is true. So even though you're on the stand and you're telling the truth, as far as the jury knows, you're telling a story. And the jury fucks up all the time and why shouldn't they? People are dumb in general and especially jury people. Look, guys named Terrence. What the fuck was the Long Island? The guy who shot people up on the subway? Yeah, the Long Island Expressway where Bernard gets. Oh, no, no, not Bernard gets. Not Bernard gets. No, that was a vigilante guy. The black guy who defended himself. Oh, come on. This is a... Sounds hilarious, though. Yeah, there was probably a movie about it. It's Martin Lawrence vehicle. No, you guys don't know. He shot everyone up on the Long Island Expressway like 12, 15 years ago and then he defended himself in court and it was all... Oh, the sniper? No, no, no, I know what you're talking about. No, no, no. It was the only good thing that came from that whole sniper thing. I was doing Howard Stern during that period and at a certain point Robin said, what do people tell their children? What do you tell your kid? Because these people are just being shot randomly. When you punch in Long Island Expressway shooter, do you not just get one guy who comes up? There's a whole bunch of them. Colin Ferguson. There we go, sorry. There you go. He defended himself. So they said, now what do you tell your kids when people are just being randomly shot on the street and overpasses and freeways and stuff like for no reason, nothing, there's not any gang affiliation. What do you tell your kids? And I said, Robin, you tell them the only kids that get shot are the kids that don't clean their rooms. I said, let's... Make lemonade. Make lemonade out of this. Number one, look, statistically your kid's not going to get shot but you can empower him to think he's not going to get shot by making his bed. So you get a clean room as a parent. He and his head gets a little something called peace of mind instead of a bullet. It's fucking great parenting. Yeah, it's gonna make great. It's awesome parenting. Think about it. I like it. Clean that room. Those are the little kids so he doesn't shoot. He doesn't like people with a messy room. There you go. All right, let's see. We got some news. We got about a million and 10 things to fucking get to here. Dan Alcatraz, by the way, executive producer, you can watch full episodes on fox.com slash Alcatraz. How's JJ Abrams treating you? He's great. He's great. He's so creative. Yeah, I could see that. I'll buy that. He's a guy who calls you up at midnight and says, I have a great idea and blows everything up and usually for the better. When you get this call at midnight, are you thinking, oh good, are you thinking, oh damn it, I should have left the book. Normally you would think, oh, when it happens, when the network does that, it's like, oh. But when JJ does it, it's always kind of exciting because you never know what he's gonna push you toward. Dan, I'm gonna give you JJ Abrams' Ask idea. Simple, effective, and I think this, I only think about writing comedies. But the only thriller, not the only thriller, but the only sort of twilight zone-esque idea involving murder and husbands and wives and fracture and all that kind of stuff that I've ever had. I had a long, long time ago where I had this idea of how do you kill your spouse and get away with it? And just like in fracture. Everyone has this idea. Yeah, it seems like. I was 23, but I knew one day I'd be married and these thoughts would be coursing through my mind. I fast forwarded to the present. So I said, how do you kill your spouse? And then I realized killing your spouse, if they killed themselves, that'd be a good way for you to have them killed without you killing them. You'd never be on it. So I thought, well, how do you get them to kill themselves? And I said, here's what you do. You get in with a gypsy woman, you know, like the Eagles sing about. And you get them in on it and you download them with all the information, the dog's name, their middle name, all this kind of, you give them all the shit that nobody could know, but you give them to them in advance. And then you do that thing where you're driving home after dinner and you're the palm reader. Let's have some kicks and you go in there and the palm reader who's already preloaded to front load with all this information, read your wife or husband work either way. But let's say just just reads, reads the husband's thing and he doesn't believe in any of it. But all of a sudden she starts laying down all this stuff and the guy's like, oh my God. And then at the end says, unfortunately, I see a very painful and tragic death soon, soon. And now the guy's completely freaked out and he thinks every time he crosses the street, he's scared to go to an ATM. He's going to get like he completely becomes obsessed with this. And then she starts telling him things are going to happen, clues are going to happen, and that spouse starts setting those things up. And now the person is going out of their mind and they literally go, I'm going to kill myself because I have to do it on my own terms. I can't take it. I don't know if I'm going to be hit by commuter train or every time I get in the car and start driving down the street, I'm freaked out that I'm going to get in a horrible car accident. So I'm going to kill myself. But then the person says, I love you too much, baby. And I'm going to kill you first and then kill myself. That's my that's that's my Twilight Zone-esque ending on that. Tell JJ about that one. So, so. Add it either. I think you should just call him Jay. Like, you know how, you know, how Robert De Niro becomes Bobby De Niro. And then Marty Scorsese. Marty Scorsese instead of Martin, you just go, Jay, you should remove one or add three. I thought JJ. JJ. I think the JJ is a copyrighted thing. Oh, you got to do. Yeah, I think you got to do both. Yeah. Yeah, I think there's one quieter then. I think there's a way to get someone to kill themselves if they were believed enough in the suit saying shit and you made enough of that shit up here. Yeah, you could gaslight them and read their bad fortune. But I think then you should get like a double crossing psychic. The other spouse should then be, yeah, to be onto it. And so somehow that's what I would do. Yeah, I like it. All right. Cue up some news, baby girl. Well, I talked to people about big commerce, big commerce. You got to start a business online or maybe you have a business, but you got to work it online, baby. You need some e-commerce. What the hell year is it? 2000s, when did... Big commerce year. It's been five years since fracture came out. You want to get online and make some money? Do the math. Do the math, man. Yeah, no technical skills required, by the way. And 24-7 customer service and support. You can start today for a limited time offer, 30-day free trial. They will build you a fully functional store. That's right. Go to bigcommerce.com. They'll get you started. They'll get you started on whatever it is you're selling. They'll start the website. They'll get it all up and rolling for you. You just sit by the mailbox just waiting for those big facts. I don't like the checks. I go for cash. Big pillowcases are cash to come rolling in. E-commerce, baby. Let's get with it. You have an e-business, but you only take cash. That's all we take cash. That's right. And it's only delivered via carrier pigeon. Big commerce. Go to bigcommerce.com. Click on the radio icon on the homepage and enter my name, Adam Bigcommerce.com. All right. Dan, we're doing news, baby. You jump in. The news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad sometime. It's good sometimes. It's bad. It's Allison. Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with ZippitCut. It's Allison. Allison. There's been an update to the Trayvon Martin story. George Zimmerman was charged last week with second degree murder. He's in protective custody in Florida. He has a new lawyer. A trial will follow. Yeah. Yeah. You never want to be one of those, make an example of your cases that's always the worst place you can be. Whether you're a student athlete and some student athlete just OD'd on cocaine and then you got caught with a bundle of cocaine or something. You never want to be that all eyes are on you. They'll be riding in the streets and mattresses burning and cars turn. Not only cop cars turn, cop horses turn over. They will turn over cop horses if this guy does not do some serious time. He has horses on fire on the side of the road. Burning horses. Ew. Looting horses. Turning cop horses over. I'm just saying that is and believe me, I hope this guy gets whatever he deserves. But as a lawyer, you can never want your guy to be or girl be to be the, oh, we're going to make an example of person and all eyes on the nation are watching. And by the way, it's like if you're the jury, it's like either give this guy the maximum whatever or people are going to fucking take to the streets and do $10 billion worth of damage and 10 other people are going to die. Well, there's not a jury in this case. Oh, all right. Well, then the judge. Yeah. I hope it's that hot blood. Yeah. A group of Secret Service agents and officers sent to Columbia ahead of President Barack Obama were placed on administrative leave amid allegations of misconduct that involved bringing prostitutes back to the hotel where they were staying. It's true. Common whores. The alleged misconduct overshadowed the start of the sixth summit of the Americas where the president was to focus on trade, energy and regional security. Don't you feel like almost everyone in Columbia is a prostitute? What are they thinking though? You know, I mean, the price is right. I feel like if I was living in Columbia, I'd be ready to party with just about anybody. But what are they thinking? They're Secret Service agents. I think they're thinking, hey, when in Columbia. Yeah, do. Yeah. They think they'll notice. But no, I know. Yeah. No, there's, well, also you have to realize these dudes have a lot of testosterone. Yeah. And they're used to kind of operating a little bit above the law. Like I think they're used to, I mean, here's what's happening. It's happening on a very large scale, which is guys used to have jobs and that job was cool. Like if you were a cop or Secret Service or a senator, you get your dick sucked, you get a little bribe money. It was like it was all part of the perks. A cop caster. A dashboard cam came in and now you can't fuck with anyone anymore. Like, but you've got to, but you're not in that mindset. Like the dashboard camera is there in life. Now there's the computer, the internet, the dashboard camera, but these guys still got the mindset from like 1985 where it's like, I'm going to go up to that chicks window and I'll tell her, look, I could write you a ticket or you could give me a blow job. That's why you got into being a policeman. That's what attracted you to the job. So now the dashboard camera is fucking yop. Right. Apparently one of these guys, apparently it started because one of these guys didn't want to pay. Right. And guess how much? It was a dispute over $47. It's also called principal, sweetheart. Not money. All right. All right. None of the agents or officers being investigated was part of the president's personal protective detail. Representative Peter King, chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, said the issue isn't about any criminal allegations, but a dereliction of duty. It violates the Secret Service Code of Conduct. The Secret Service has a zero tolerance policy on personal misconduct and five members of the U.S. military assigned to support the Secret Service may have also been involved. I'd be great if I was the guy I got called in for getting the hookers. And actually you'd be my CO, my commanding officer, and explain to me that we have a zero tolerance policy on personal misconduct. As you know, agent, we have a zero tolerance policy on personal misconduct. Oh, good. All right. Well, if you have no policy, we're in great shape because we went out fucking horing and drinking last night. No, no, that's not what I'm saying at all. He said you have no policy. No, no, no, no. Don't put words in my mouth. I heard you. First of all, well, you look, five, 10 seconds ago, he said you had zero policies on any conduct. You may have heard it that way. Right. Zero tolerance policy, zero. All right. That's what I'm saying. None. No. I'm drunk on some Mascow tequila. Everyone's still fucking alive. And I don't know what we're doing waste our time. I feel like we're selectively hearing the words that I'm saying. Oh, look, if you had a policy and it was about horing, then we would be having this conversation. But evidently you have zero policy. All you're hearing is that we have zero policy on personal misconduct. I just said it. I didn't mean to say that. You tried to be the same. All right. You know what? This is over. You're wasting my time with your zero policies. I suggest you get some policies. And when you get policies and then I get busted for horing, then you can call me and we'll talk. This meeting is over. That's how I would handle it. Solid defense. I think it would work. What do you think? Worked on Brian. He didn't have any comeback. Got me again. I know. Outfunk you. I want to quickly say now I'm doubting. Earlier when I said that there wasn't going to be a jury in the Zimmerman case, now I'm doubting that. All right. Evil Mike. I'm not sure about that. But anyway, Lauren Michaels has asked Mitt Romney if he wants to host Saturday Night Live. And Romney is said to be considering the offer. Since the 2000 election, nearly all presidential candidates have appeared on SNL either live or on tape. But it hasn't been since Steve Forbes in 1996 that a candidate actually hosted. Said longtime SNL writer Jim Downey, Romney was funny on Letterman giving the top 10 list. And we actually have that. Oh, sure. So we can judge his comedy chops. Hold on a second. Okay. Those Secret Service guys, they're just killing time in Columbia, right? They're bored. Yeah, they're bored. Let them get some horse. I know. That's what dudes, they're it's. I doubt it really took them away from anything, but it's that it's a bad press. You're right about the dashboard cam, though, because that is the difference is everything is instantaneously judged and available and exposed. Are you telling me that Kennedy's fucking dudes? Yeah, what would have happened then? And they go in front of him to or before him to like Cuba or something that they weren't just Kennedy or Kennedy himself. But yeah, these guys were just fucking they were just lousy with horse just knee deep and pussy and booze and God knows what the fuck else they were doing, right? Because they could membership had its privileges. It's not even worth getting the gig anymore because the gig used to be look, you get shot at occasionally blown up and you only get 60 grand a year, but you get to do the fuck you want all the time. Yeah, it's a secret service. Yeah, looking at them. There's one supposed to be fine on everyone. But if it were a movie and it began with them all packing their bags, I feel like you'd see them put a bunch of suntan lotion and condoms in my bag. So they tried to stiff one of the prostitutes. Yeah, there was an argument. One of the prostitutes refused to leave until she was paid and evidently it was about $47. All right. All right. So Mitz going to do the top 10. Yeah, this is from February 2011. It's a little outdated. Mitt is short for Mitt U. These are things you don't know about Mitt Romney. Top 10. Well, I'm Mitz U too. Number nine. I can't begin my day until I've read the Washington Post and Kim Kardashian's tweets. Yes. Number eight. I'm the guy in the photo that comes with your picture frame. That's right. That's right. That's where I'm speaking. Number seven. I spent six months in a Mexican prison for selling black market pillow pets. What? What? Number six. Do I smell as good as I look? No. Number five. In high school, I was voted mithiest. Me too. Number four. I got into politics for the piles and piles of paperwork. That's right. Number three. Look for my best selling biography. They call me Baba Romney. Sure someone had explained that joke. Number two. I have absolutely no idea where my birth certificate is. That's right. And the number one thing you don't know about mith Romney. Oprah is my half sister. Yeah, there you go. It's just the waste of my time. Yeah, that's my boy. I think that bought us a quick read. Musiciansfriend.com. Musiciansfriend.com. Tons of new and used guitars, drums, keyboards, mics, mixing boards. We have the stuff we got here for our new studio we got for Musiciansfriend. And as I said, Chris Maxapad over there. He, he just went online, got the best deal he could. And this is where he found it. They weren't even sponsors. Good, good people save you money. They got starter guitars from 50 bucks. They go all the way up to one of a kind guitars. 20 grand. Yeah, get the kids started first. You can do the El Cabalong with the $50 job and then go right up to the 20 grand one when he makes it big. Special deal for my listeners and extra 10% off of, oh, I should say off on items over 149 bucks. So spend 150 bucks. You get an extra 10% off. Those are my listeners. You can give them a call 866-926-1929. Podcast is the code. That's what's going to save you money, baby. Musiciansfriend.com. Best prices on everything. Music guaranteed. Musiciansfriend.com. And put in the code, a podcast. Thank you. All right, sorry. Where were we? Axl Rose kept his promise to boycott Saturday's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony in Cleveland. A promise he made public in an open letter. But his former bandmates performed at the induction without him. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that We've left $50 million on the table every year since 1994. Like what the fuck are we doing? Come on, let's go. And what is he, I don't get, what's the rift? Like what is, what was done? Like I know all those guys except for Axl cause he seems insane to me, but Slash and Duff and all those guys, Sorm, the drummer and all those guys, they're just the coolest dudes in the world. Like I don't know, what did they kill his pet? Like what happened? David probably verified this, but what I heard, I think is the story is he refused to go on stage with them for a big, big show unless they signed over all or a portion of the publishing rights, like a disproportionate amount to him. And so he controls a lot of that, even though they get paid for the royalties. And I was thinking about the money left on the table thing you said, you know what you never hear? You never hear a Guns N' Roses song in a commercial or a movie, like you never, you hear other band stuff all the time. They must have left a lot of money on the table, people who would have paid big money for a movie or a commercial. And I know they're all dying just to fucking get back. And I just- And yet he's still performing with the name, Guns N' Roses. I just not that. That was it, he held out if they didn't sign over the name, I think that was it. What? He's performing with other people? Yes, can't they just go on and get inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and just be through fucking band? Like I just don't get it, what is it? What, why are people so dumb and mess? Rose's name drew choruses of booze and cat calls from the audience of about 7,400, but Green Day singer Billy Joe Armstrong who delivered the Guns N' Roses introduction speech said, shut up, he was the greatest front man to ever step in front of a microphone. He paused then added, but he is crazy and I can vouch for that. They performed- As your inductor! They performed Mr. Brownstone, Sweet Child of Mine, and, or sorry, Sweet Child, Oh Mine, and Paradise City from Appetite for Destruction, which Armstrong called the greatest debut album in rock and roll history. And Chris Rock said something funny about Axl. During his introductory speech for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, which was at about 1 a.m., he said, a lot of people are disappointed that Axl Rose isn't here, but let's face it, even if he was going to be here, he still wouldn't be here yet. Cause, you know. I mean, he's out of it. No, notoriously, like, I wouldn't be here yet. He's like near the end of it, yeah. If he was gonna be here, he wouldn't be here yet. At the end of the thing. All right. Okay, I gotcha now. The Hall of Fame also welcomed the Beastie Boys, Donovan, the Small Faces and Faces, Laura Nairos, DZ Top, John Mellencamp, among others. It's like some kind of horrible shit all-star lineup for a man. It'd be miserable. Miserable. Maybe that's why he didn't want to come. Let's go over that lineup one more time. Beastie Boys. Ugh. Really? Everybody loves the fucking Beastie Boys, but they kinda suck. I don't love the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Ugh, they suck too. Now, the early stuff, that sounds cliche, but I know more under the bridge. I don't, there's a band, there's three bands that everyone universally loves that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that off some old jazz albums and we can we can make up rhymes. I know it's more than that. Everyone loves the Beast Boys. I don't like any of their songs. I hate them. I hate the Beast Boys. Other than that, good. I thought you would fit in the Beastie Boys. I would, yeah. It'd be perfect because I don't sing and I don't play any instruments and I can't write songs. So I'd be welcome into the band. I might be the leader of the fucking Beastie Boys. That's right. Oh, we got the Super Chicken theme song. Now listen to the guitar work in this. It's the same of Name of Love. I would love just to fucking sit in on those recording studios and have the edge. I come into the studio and edge guy, hey man, I got an awesome idea for Killer Lick for our new song. And I go, let me guess. Bucca, bucca, bucca, bucca, bucca, bucca, bucca, bucca, bucca, bucca, bucca, bucca. And he'd go, well, yeah. How'd you know? Were the speakers on in the other room? And I go, yeah, that's how I knew. It's all the fucking same song. What other shitty bands were in there that I hate? Donovan, The Small Faces. Well, Donovan is like, Donovan is like, you know, herdy-girty, you know, man stuff. So he gets the pass. Yeah, it's like Jennifer Juniper and stuff like, oh, oh, he sung Season of the Witch. Oh, there's one of those horrible, everyone in the late 60s, early 70s, had to come out with a witch song. Season of the Witch and Mellow Yellow. Yeah. Yes. And every, like the Eagles had to do their witchy woman and he had to do, by the way, when the band starts pitching a witch song, does it ever work out? Is everyone, is that, that's what I would yell to band. Oh, that's right. Because every time someone writes a song around a fucking witch, it's awesome. That's what I'm saying. If someone comes to you and says, I wonder, I want to make a movie about a volcano. You just go, no, it's never works. It never, there's been two. They've not worked thus far. You got a dragon movie and let's say animated or volcano. I don't want to fucking hear it. I don't fucking hear it. I don't want to hear another witch song. Next order of business, Adam, your negativity is really dragging the band down. I don't want fucking witch songs. We just want to write witch songs and season of the witch police. Find me season. I he is the thing. He should be thrown out for this. So you got Donovan's? All right. Who else? Sorry. Laura Nairo. Don't know. Nero. Nero. Oh. That's different. Old singer-songwriter. I've been practicing it for a long time. For a long time. Wrote the theme to Tom Slick. That stopped everybody. ZZ Top. Some ZZ Top is okay. ZZ Top's like... But some is not. Hurt it on the X or whatever their whatever song is. ZZ Hurt it on Hurt it on... That's her best song I think. But anyway. Slipping bag or legs is their worst. Yes. All the all songs have to do with legs. Hot Rod Stewart. Staking of faces and hot legs and all that. It's all bad. They do a good song in the deals with legs called A Fool for Your Stockings. That's a little bluesy slow number. And John Mellencamp. Grew up in a small town. I wish he fucking stayed that small town. I really do. I'm going to hear about his stupid fucking songs. Like Dates Models. About tractors. And big guys coming over and taking the D to the farm. John Cougars. He's such... It's just dumb. It's dumb white guy music. It's just... It's for dumb people to feel good about themselves. Just listen to John Hyatt. What you fucking people? Forget about John Mellencamp. He's alright. There's nothing wrong with him. But you don't ever need to hear another one of his songs. He just don't. He's been the soundtrack to my life. Okay. The world's newest Mensa member is a four-year-old girl from England. Heidi Hankins taught herself to read at two years old and has an IQ of 159. That's what I keep telling my wife. The... If they're smart, it'll happen. Jim, that takes your cells to read. That's the takeaway from this. 159. There's one point below Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking. Don't be a one-upber, like I said before. Three years ago, a two-and-a-half-year-old boy living just 35 miles away became the youngest Mensa member ever with an IQ of 160. According to Mensa, the signs of a gifted child include an unusual memory, reading at an early age, intolerance of other children, Adam. I feel like you might have had that. And an awareness... The right songs about witches. Of world events. A gifted child will also ask questions all of the time, as will an un-gifted child. You know what that question is? Guess what my fucking IQ is, bitch? That's the question they asked mainly. Do you know what my IQ is? You know what it is? I know what yours is because mine's so goddamn high. I know what yours isn't. Equal to mine. That's right. That's right. Take yours, triple it, and then we'll see if we can get to half of mine. Yeah. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are finally, finally engaged. Awesome. Jolie was photographed Wednesday wearing a large engagement ring designed by Robert Prokope in collaboration with Brad Pitt. Yeah. He took that a year. A year. He's work. And listen, you guys that get together with a jeweler and help design shit, fuck off. Because they're ruining it for the rest of you. You make us all look like assholes. Here's the thing, Adam. I was like, you know, I said to my wife, look, here's three grand. Go on the internet, knock yourself out. You know what I mean? And go through the Amazon banner. We're gonna kick back. Well, that's just smart. What did you really do? I don't... Did you choose the ring? I... Well, you know... What happened? Fucking... Here's what happened. My Lynette, well, like we went out and she wanted like an antique ring or something, like an old whatever ring. And so it's like, all right. So she got like her antique ring and then at a certain point... So she got the ring and then at a certain point, I don't know, a couple years later, she got her diamond replaced. And I was like, what happened to the old diamonds? Like it was worn out like with cutting glass. Like what happened to it? She's like, it was old. It's getting yellow. So antique. I was like, replace it. And I'm like, fucking... First off, I've seen those De Beers commercials, diamond. That's forever, baby. Number one, number two, is it replaced the diamond? Like, yeah. So somehow I managed to pay for like a ring and a half or two rings. But that part where the guy starts getting those relationships never last. When they do the ones where we both have the ring and then we design a thing and then we put them together and we're like wonder twins and we activate shit when it's the size of an elephant. It doesn't work out. Never works. And it just makes other guys look bad when you get involved. Well, Brad had a specific vision for this ring, which he realized over a year-long collaboration. Brad was always heavily involved overseeing every aspect of the creative design evolution. Oh, it's such bullshit. The side diamonds are specially cut to encircle her finger. Each diamond is of the highest gem quality. Aren't these guys... When does he have time to do that? Well, you know, and by the way, it's like, oh, he's an artist. He's an architect. He's telling guys, you know, I want to put a wing on this side of the house that goes sick and some gay guy comes in and does all the thinking. Number one. Number two, don't you guys make... Half your family was in a pit in Africa going after these diamonds like six months ago. What are you doing? Making a statement with non-black diamonds or something. No shit. This diamond industry is the worst. I mean, and I'm sure they've done... Somebody must have thought of this, but you shouldn't be... Here's the thing. It's like saying, hey, man, I don't make cigarettes. I make those candy cigarettes with the powdered sugar in them. So it seems like kids can smoke, but I don't make cigarettes. I'm not a fucking animal. It's like, well, no, but you propagate this stuff. All right. So that's not a blood diamond, but it's still a diamond. And it then makes people want the blood diamonds. Like they look at your diamond and they go, oh, this one is not a blood diamond, but I can get one for cheaper that is a blood diamond. So I'm going to go get that one. Like you are perpetuating whatever this is, whether yours is a blood diamond or not. Do you see what I'm saying? I do. The couple have been dating for nearly seven years after meeting on the set of 2005's Mr. and Mrs. I feel like they're rushing into it. Yeah. After meeting on the set of 2005's Mr. and Mrs. Smith, they have six children together. Maddox, Pax, Sahara, Shiloh, and three-year-old twins, Knox and Vivian. Hmm. Yeah. And lots of cool names. And according to Pitz manager, this is a promise for the future and their kids are very happy. There's no date set at this time. I need, oh boy. There's no date. No date, yeah. For the wedding. They've been together seven years. Yeah. They've announced they're getting married, but there's no date. Is she going to make out with her brother at the wedding? I should hope so. Oh. Is her brother the creepiest dude alive? Yeah. Yes. He is, he is creepy. He freaks me out, that guy. He's scary. I feel like he looks just like her. Yeah. No. It's weird though. And the kiss is weird. Some families are very close. It's not ours to judge. I don't approve. I do not approve. Of what? Her brother? Her brother. And if Brad were smart, he'd hire a drifter and put him in the ground. Because that guy's got to, you know, he's moving in. You know, it's going to be one of those things where Gerald wants to move into the wing. Oh, right. He says, you know what? And I think it's a good idea because it'd be a great idea to have somebody living under the tennis court and keeping an eye on things. Shiloh really loves him. And she knows Shiloh looks up to him. And he's going, oh, fuck, I have this fucking fruitcake moving in the fucking house. And he can't make any arguments about square footage. It's too big. We don't have our privacy and all that kind of stuff. And there's some sort of temporary thing. And he's got some, I don't know what the brother's name is, but he's got some sort of art installation he's working on. Christopher. As soon as he's done, as soon as he's done putting the pink viscuin over the island of Guam, as soon as he's done with that boy, he'll be able to move out of the house again. And it's like some sort of date that's never going to, he's got a couple of docks in the work. He's got a couple indie films, got some docks going on. He's bringing in his whole rock band. He's going to move in. Yeah. Oh, no, no, it's world music. Don't call it rock in front of him. He'll freak on you. Yeah. Oh, you got to get rid of that guy. What are you going to do with him? You think he talks to his dad? Well, there is your plan of how to get rid of the spouse. What about the spouse? The gypsy. Wait a minute, witchy woman. A season of the witchy gypsy woman comes in. Yeah. Find me season of the witch. I got to hear that song. I would like to induct Donovan and go. Sorry, we have to take you out of the hall of fame now. We're going to kick you out. We're going Pete Rose on your ass. We'll pull parcels. Oh, you came back. Now you got to be back to the line. That's right. Now I think her brother's name might be James. I'm full of shit today. This is such a fucking 60s. Look down my window. I think Donovan was almost a creation of the man. Was he an early Justin Bieber? Well, let's put it this way. If he was fat and his teeth were fucked up, if he looked like Christopher Cross, it is a great lyricist, though. You got to pick up every stitch because it's the season of the witch. You're going to end up in a ditch. It's such a shitty song. It's such a bad 60s. I know those fucking guys had crew cuts like two years earlier and it was like, put on this afghan and fucking grow your sideburns out and learn to play this fucking sitar. We're cashing in, baby. It is groovy. And by the way, we're all going to get laid. It's going to be awesome. Drop some ass. It's a thing about the season of the witch. God sucks. Where were we? Looking at this frightening photo of James Haven. Voight. Yeah. That's the brother. Yeah, he's pretty. James. Yeah, I'll bet she's moving in. Yeah, he's not already there. Let me just tell you, it's like, you can be Angela. Lena. Angelina, sorry. You be on the phone with James. Right. I'll be Brad's inner. I'll be Brad's stand next to you. And you'll be talking about how he's coming over this weekend. Coming over this. Hey, so what time are you going to come over? Six. Yeah, I think that'll work. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, you want to stay for, yeah, that's, yeah, no, no, we, I mean, we definitely have space. Hey, honey, is that cool if James stays for a couple nights? Oh, shit. Oh, it needs to be a couple more than a couple. Oh, maybe like a week. Oh, fuck. When are we, shit, I'm going to Canada. No, that's fine. I mean, we might not be here for some of that time, but you can definitely. No, no, no. Oh, yeah, if you want to have a few friends, that's fine. I mean, the kids are really excited to see you. They're so excited. Oh, let me get my dry erase. Yeah, Shiloh wanted to know if you guys are going to play tennis like you did last time. Hey, Matt, she's got a dry erase board. Oh, good, okay. Great, yeah. Oh, yeah, no, we have closet space. That's really fine. We have like, we have the, we have a whole walk-in closet that just has Brad's movie members really in it right now. So you can move your stuff in there. Yeah, that's fine. God damn it. Oh, you want your, your specific about the kind of sheets? Okay. That's, yeah, no, you will send someone out and we'll get those. That's fine. Oh, you're gluten-free now? No. Yeah, I am too. We're nuts. Fuck. We've been thinking about going gluten-free in the entire house. No, no, no. A gluten-free household. Are you going to make out with your, some of them? Some of them. Okay. So fucking weird. And I just put on a lot of chapstick. Okay. You know what that means. Just fucking roll it up, would you? God damn it. I got to go. Brad cannot be fucking happy, right? I doubt it. Well, I can't imagine. He's got to be fucking miserable, right? The guys get me to say that. Over the idea of her brother moving in. Just got to be miserable about that guy. Well, it'd be weird to be jealous of someone's brother. Find out what he does. I'll guarantee there's something that involves art or documentary. Yeah, my boyfriend went to film school with him. Oh, really? Oh, hold on. The room's spinning. I'm going to surprise you. I thought he fucking was amazing. He's a big game hunter. What? I thought he was either... I had Tidnocker or Sheet Rocker. You're saying he went to film school. I guarantee that guy's made a fucking penny in the last 80 years. Yeah, I'm not familiar with any opuses that... Do you know? I worked with her dad. Boy, Jeff. Yeah. What'd you work on? Mentoring candidate. Oh, yeah. He used to come to soccer practices when I was coaching my daughter to give me notes on his part in the movie. Oh, really? Yeah. Show up over in La Cienega Park. That involved. It was cool. Yeah. He's crazy. What kind of notes though? Like, I think you need to write it differently. Yeah, well, he was very much into... It was a political film, so he's very much into the politics of the film and the politics of the character. Right. He was constantly coming up with new ideas for the guy. By the way, if he's a douchebag, you know, if John... John Boyd? Douchebag? He's not. He's just crazy. No, right. You don't want to say he's a douchebag. Well, if he was, I might. But I'll tell you what you can do. If he was, I might. But who are the other cast members on Mentoring Candidate? Denzel. Denzel. And Meryl Streep and Leigh F. Schreiber, who's very tall. All you have to do is, when I ask you about Leigh F. or Denzel or Meryl Streep, or you just give me your answer, but the one that's a douchebag, you just go, you know, John's John. When you say the guy's name's twice, we'll do the math. What was it like working with Denzel Washington? He's great. Great. He's obsessed. Upset. He's obsessed. Leigh F. Schreiber? He's tall. Very good actor. Meryl Streep? She's the most amazing person. And then... John Boyd? John, yeah. John Scha... He's crazy. That's what they do in the interviews. They go, you know, John, John. I feel it's Leigh F. Leigh F. Leigh F. Leigh F. Like, is he just like... Is he a douche? No. No. Okay, he's just tall then. But John's John. He's tall. He's very serious. He's smart. He's serious from narrating all those war documentaries. He's bummed out all the time because they do like... 330 souls were left on the beach that afternoon. Let's take that again, Leigh F. Oh, it's not three. Oh, I'm sorry. 33,000. Sorry. 33. And this guy, all he does is narrate all those... He has a great voice. He has that voice. I know, but he just talks about how many 19-year-olds were cleaned out from German pillboxes storming beaches. It's got to be kind of bummed out about it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, if he was doing the voice of the friendly tiger on some Pixar film, he'd be in a better mood. Don't they just read it though? I don't think it... I think it goes in and out. It just... No, it's flowing through. Not Leigh F. It sticks with you after a while. It's too tall for that. Yeah, maybe. That's for like 5'11 and under only. I think Leigh F. starts to dread calls from his agent now. Yeah. Hey, I got you another voice over gig. Yeah. Oh, let me guess. Baton Death March? What do we got here? Yeah. All right. Let me hear a little season of The Witch while I... Oh, right. Let's wrap the news. That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen Zippertkund. That was the news with Allison Rosen. Now a little season of The Witch. Oh, forget it. E voice. Oh. E voice. Leigh F. Shriver needs this. First one is agent calls for another voice over gig. Let it go to voicemail. That's right. It's like you have an entire team to help you run your business. It is E voice. It's a virtual phone number, answers and routes your business or personal calls to your home, your office or your cell. You never miss another call. You maintain the professional image. It's all part of that you don't need an office anymore. That's right. You need like a tablet. You need a couple of other sponsors, an E voice, and you're done. Your big shot. Voice mails are transcribed into easy to read emails or texts. That's the one I like. No more listening to the long-winded nasally drones of the people on the other side. And I'm bad at that. I do a lot of himmin' and haunt. Dude, I've had E voice for almost a year now. I got a new phone. I haven't even set up the voice mail. They all get emailed to me. I like it. It's awesome. Yep. E voice, baby. Click on the E voice banner on adamcrawler.com. Go to evoice.com slash adam sign up today for six months free. That's almost half a year free. A free trial. Six months. You ain't going back. Hell no. Brian ain't going back. E voice, a radically better phone number. And also go daddy, baby. You want to start a little domain name? How about a little fan domain? How about that? Go daddy.com. Easy, affordable name you can trust with a hot chick. You can trust. I actually don't trust hot chicks. But the name you can trust. Everyone needs a website. Your family, business, your crazy hobbies, obsessions. You can tweet us at your new go daddy domain name at adamcrawler.show and the hashtag ace go daddy. And maybe we'll give you, we'll give the new side a shout out. How about that? It's going to be awesome. Get your .com domain only. Only 749. Just enter the code ace. No one's going to beat that price. Go daddy, support the show. Use the code ace at go daddy.com. That is go daddy.com. Daniel. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a little slice. Thank you. Hey, when you do your next movie, you know, maybe you give me a part. I wish I had control of it. It'd be nice, wouldn't it? As a writer. Yeah. You just don't get it. I do in television, but. Oh, maybe you could be an inmate. Podcasts are for yelling. Daniel Pine Alcatraz everybody. You can watch full episodes on fox.com slash Alcatraz. The book, A Hole in the Ground Owned by Liar. I love that. Also our own Allison Rosen, baby. That's me. She's your new best friend available now on our app. And at iTunes and who's your guest? Matt Nathanson, musician. You're chatting with him in the studio. Oh, yes. I was talking to him. Yes. Good dude. Musician and funny guy. Yeah, especially for a musician. Yeah. But now who's, well, I don't want to get into it, but he seemed, seems funny and he seems very funny. And I like him. I'm going to be in St. Louis at the Pageant Theater that is this Friday, April 20th. Still some tickets available. And we're doing a podcast at the Lovitz Theater that is next Saturday on the 28th of April. And still some tickets for me and Dennis Prager over to Spreckles Saturday, May 5th. So what did I forget? Ah, again, you get the book, you get it on Amazon, you get Daniel's book, and you click through the website. God bless you. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Daniel Pine. Alison Rosen and Paul Bryan saying Mahalo. I could write you a ticket or you could give me a blow job. All right, those Adam Carolla show 801. Coming up next, we have Adam Carolla show 199 featuring Michael Anthony. Adam and Michael Anthony just have a long conversation. Hope you guys enjoy. Oh, Riley Auto parts. Yeah, love that jingle. Oh, oh, oh. So they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. We know that. They're also, you know, I don't have too many car issues. Usually I can figure them out, but if I can't, I go to O'Reilly and they got all the stuff there. Mostly stuff for me because the new stuff's like a computer, but my vintage cars, man, I can get a lot of parts from O'Reilly. They've got thousands of parts in stock, either in store or online. So you never have to worry if you're getting a jam. Also, they'll test your battery for free. And if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. So whether you're car fishing, auto or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto, do it yourself. It's O'Reilly Auto parts, right Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com slash Adam. And that's O'ReillyAuto.com slash Adam. Welcome finally, Sony Rocks on the show. Michael Anthony. I've been known to rock. To the podcast. Michael's a gearhead and a car guy. And last time I saw him was at the Winter Nationals in Pomona. Probably about four years ago. Is it that long now? And we'll talk about cars. But I usually here's how this podcast works. I introduce the guest and then I say, tell me about yourself. And then I talk for 55 minutes and then I say, well, that's all we have time for. All right, that works. No, this one's not going to work this way because I want to go through the chronology of Michael Anthony and Van Halen and all the way up to your latest programs. Everything. Air the laundry out today. I don't need it all. But I'll tell you one thing. I'll give you a couple juicy tidbits. Dr. Drew says you guys like played his prom. He was in he grew up in Pasadena. Now you guys are sort of from that area. Oh yeah. Yeah. So so tell us when you guys formed, how you guys formed, where? Actually Van Halen, Van Halen brothers and David Le Roth, they're all Pasadena guys. And I was an Arcadia guy. So we knew kind of knew each other. I played in bands in Arcadia. Arcadia is the next town over. The next town. Yeah. East from Pasadena and you know, rival towns, I guess you could say. I don't know. But you know, it's everybody knew everybody else playing in the bands. And so I saw those guys play a couple of times. Were they Van Halen back then? I actually saw them once. They were called Mammoth. And this is before Roth was even in the band. Eddie Van Halen was doing all the lead vocals. But I was I was always impressed with his guitar playing because, you know, obviously even back then he was doing stuff that local guitarists weren't doing. Right. So it just turns out that one night we got a gig at Pasadena High School and a band I was in, we were called Snake, pretty original. Sure. Name there. And we opened up for Van Halen and it was right after Roth was in the band and just got it and got to know him that way. I saw Eddie and Alex and we were all going to Pasadena City College. And so PCC, the city circus. Sure. And we'd see each other kind of, you know, I'd be going to a jazz improv class that I was taking. I'd see Alex coming from his. Didn't know him, but you know, we'd kind of just look at each other. Right. Yeah, that's that guy in that band, you know. Right. But after we played together, we just kind of like, I remember striking up a conversation with Eddie and make a long story short, they were getting rid of their bass player and a mutual friend of ours suggested me and Eddie and Alex asked if I'd come over and jam with them one day and didn't. How good, you know, I never asked this question, but you know, how good were you on the bass back then at the tender age of 19 or 20 or whatever? I thought I was great. I mean, had you been playing for five years at that point? I started playing bass when I was about 14 to 15 right in there. And, you know, I was getting pretty good, I guess. You know, a lot of the people that I played with that when we first started playing, they did it because, you know, it was like the cool thing to do because, you know, it was like Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, everybody wanted to be them. Nobody wanted to play bass. You know, they go, OK, you can play bass, Mike. You'd be like Bill Wyman. You stand in the back and just hold your bass up and don't do anything. And I said, no, I, you know, I'm a little more into it than that. I want to jump around and friends, friends of mine, all of a sudden, they'd be on to other things like, you know, Bill Wyman's face never changed. John Entwistel's never really moved either. I don't recall. It seemed like they would just stand back there and go about their business. Yeah. Well, you know, in the fact of John Entwistel, I mean, he had between Keith Moon and Pete Townsend, he didn't have to do anything except stand there. Plus, if you step forward, you could get killed with like a windmill or flying guitar or something like that. But and who did you listen to back back? Actually, I'd listened to people like that. I listened to the Stones. I grew up listening to blues stuff. There was a band. My sister is a couple of years older than me. She'd bring home records from bands, everything from the band Electric Flag. Sure. There was a bass player, Harvey Brooks, is a first blues type thing I listened to. And then she brought home a record from this band, Blue Cheer. Yeah. Do you remember bands back then? No, no, I'm trying. Blue Cheer and Electric Flag, but especially Blue Cheer had a hit. Summertime Blues was, you know, their big, big hit remake thing. Remake of, you know, Cure for the Summit. But who did Electric Flag? What was their hit? Electric Flag, they had a big hit on their first album called Groovin' Is Easy. And it's a, Groovin' Is Easy, baby. Yeah. If you know how, you know, it's like Buddy Miles played drums. It was, you know, it was a pretty eclectic band. Dr. Drew told me that Snotty, Scotty and the Hankies. I remember those guys. He said Snotty, Scotty and the Hankies played one of their, like, dances or one of their things in Van Halen played one, too. That maybe it was for his school, maybe it was one that he went to, maybe it was someone else's prom, but his prom was Snotty, Scotty and the Hankies. Okay. Now, we actually did a couple of shows with them in the Pasadena area. That's fun, Ed. You bring that up. And Dr. Drew is, you know, 50 years old. So it'd be right, probably be right in everyone's age group, essentially. And, yeah. And then he also said that Blue's Image, I think, played at another prom or something. They sung Ride, Captain Ride upon your mix. I think it was called Blue's Image. Yeah. Was it Blue's Image? It's close. I think you got the Blue's part right. I got the Blue's. I got the Blue's something. Yeah. Figure out who sings that. I don't know if it's called Ride, Captain Ride. Ride, Captain Ride upon your... Used to be if you were... Foreign to Bandy, you had to write one song about shipping. Like, writing on an old vessel. Yeah. The Sailor said, Brandy. Yeah. And Beach Boys said the Sloop John B and stuff like that. You have to sing one Mariner song and you need one song about going on the road. I guess all those seamen, big fan base there, I guess. If you got them, you got... Well, Edmund Fitzgerald, I think, kicked it all off. And then you needed one song where you liken yourself to a cowboy out on the... Used the metaphor of the old gunslinger out in the old west. But actually Van Halen never really did that. No. Some of the get-ups Roth had, he kind of looked kind of like... Some kind of a... He had these chaps that was, I guess... Remember the white chaps? The assless chaps that he wore for a while. People say assless chaps like they say, engage to be married. I'll do the ass math on the chaps. When someone sows an ass into chaps, then we can start saying assless chaps. Because as far as I know, chaps are all assless, and they're meant to be worn outside of the jeans, not alone. That's the problem. There was never a problem with chaps until guys started wearing them with no jeans underneath. I think Roth was one of the pioneers of that. Yeah, well, he was in good shape, and he wasn't scared to show it off. But you have three guys that had to stand behind him and play on stage, man. I was going to say, you have 50,000 people in front of him, not staring at his ass, but then you have you standing behind him. You must have stared at a ton of David Lee Roth ass in your day. Yeah, you know. Not intentionally, believe me. So Van Halen essentially hits. You guys get together in what year? Actually, I joined the band in 74. Our first album actually came out in 78. 78. And that had hit you? You really got me. It was actually the first big hit, Running With The Devil. Ain't Talking About Love. I think Ain't Talking About Love is my favorite Van Halen song, or at least one of my favorites from that year. That was a good part of the participation song. You know what DM, everyone's going, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, that's what you want. Like, boom, boom. When we wrote that, it was kind of like, we need to do something, you know, where the crowd can chant with us, you know? And so that's how we ain't talking about love. Well, like when you say when we wrote it, how did the process work? You know what? Hold on a second. I asked for the name of the band who sung Ride, Captain Ride. Instead, I got to stare at this homo with his chaps on the whole time. Oh my God. That's not Roth, is it? No. It could very well be Gail Lee Roth. Blues. Don't pull up any early Roth on the, don't pull up any early Roth. So I'll have nightmares. I'll have to sleep at the nightlight on again. So how, so how would the process, how would the creative collaboration go? You know, Eddie was, he was just a encyclopedia full of music. That guy, you know, so I mean, he'd be writing stuff, and he was pretty much the master cylinder behind, you know, a lot of the ideas for the music. And then we'd all jam it. We had a little, we used to actually practice in David Lee Roth's dad's little mansion that they had out here in Pasadena. We had a little room downstairs in their basement where we'd just kind of hash it all out. What did Roth's dad do? He was an ophthalmologist. Really? Well, enough, yeah. And so he made a good living. He made a, he made a pretty decent living. He, oh my God, there's an old picture. Yeah, they had this place right on, right off Orange Grove in Pasadena. They called it Rothwood. Really? And his father, by the time I met him, his father was divorced, but he was like, he was kind of a swinging playboy type. You know, he'd always be on his way to Aspen or coming back from, The dead, yeah. From here or whatever, yeah. Yeah. So the, uh, apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Exactly. Evidently. So, so Roth sort of came from, I mean, every, almost every rock and roll story seems to be some Axl Rose type thing where they come here from Indiana or wherever they come from. And then they live on the streets with the strippers and all that kind of stuff. But that wasn't Roth's art. No, you know what, actually it was, actually it's a very funny story. I wasn't in the band yet, but there's a funny story about how Roth joined Van Halen. Because Roth had his own band called Red Ball Jet. And they were all pretty much, I don't know, I don't think that they were very accomplished musicians, but they all had the look, the then look. And Van Halen used to play some shows with them when they were mammoth, and they would borrow this PA system that Roth had. And so I, from what Alex would tell me, he said that finally he had an idea one day, he said, why do we have to just keep borrowing and renting this PA system? Let's just get the guy to sing with us, and then we got the PA too. And that's how they asked him to join the band. It's, it's sort of like, it's like the guy who has the van. Exactly. Who gets asked to join the van, the band, which is Van Halen. But I don't know, but I'm saying we, we could buy U-Haul or slip all our crap around in a Volkswagen or we could just get this guy with a van to join the band. And save all that money. Save all our money. But Roth turned out to be a pretty great front man, as it, as it turns out. But then actually, I'm trying to think of, there's any other bands that have had, as I was driving in, I was doing that thing. I was doing my, I was kind of doing my Foo Fighter Nirvana math, which is to say that at a certain point, the Foo Fighters are going to have more hits than Nirvana. And maybe we've reached that point. Like they'll never be quite as legendary as Nirvana, because obviously Kurt Cobain passes away. What are you going to do if you become James Dean at a certain point? But I'm just saying, it's going to be 100 years from now, people might look back and go, I like the Foo Fighters better, or they had more hits, or they had, they, they, they, amassed, you know, I mean, I'll bet the Foo Fighter probably had come out with more records than Nirvana came out with, for obvious reasons. But did Sammy Hagar, Ira Van Halen have more hits than David Lee Roth era? Yeah, actually. And sell more records or come out with more records? Actually, David Lee Roth era jump was Van Halen's only number one single that we, that we ever had. And the reason behind that was that we never considered ourselves a singles band. We always wrote album rock material. You know, it wasn't like, let's write a hit today. So we always let the record company pick it and we jump. Obviously that hit. But with Sammy, when Sammy first joined the band, that was the first number one album that Van Halen ever had was the 5150 record, Sammy's first record. And how many, if you can recall, how many albums with Roth and then how many albums with Hagar? Okay, Roth, it was two, three, four, five, like, if I think five albums with Roth. And we actually put out more with Hagar though. So it is one of these like, Foo Fighter things in a weird way. Yeah, yeah, kind of. Where it's like, there's actually more work out and more hits out and more number one, whatever's out with Hagar than there was with Roth. Yeah, but it's kind of funny because the fans are kind of equally divided as far as which era Van Halen they like better, you know, because there are still a large contingent of people that they love the early Van Halen stuff with Roth. And you know, obviously that's something that we did back then. It was pretty cutting edge with Eddie's guitar work in Roth. You know, and all that. Well, it was a nice mixture because at the time there was this sort of hard rock, you know, you had sort of your deep purples and bands like that. And then you had, you sort of had, you had your old rock. But this almost felt like it had a little new wave in it. Like it had a little, the pace was picked up a little bit. It was newer sounding. Yeah. When we were playing, I remember because we, when I joined the band and shortly before we were signed, we were doing a place called Ghazaris, which is now the key club out in Hollywood and the whiskey. Godfather Rock and Roll. Yeah, they're not playing damn good Rock and Roll. They're not playing on my stage. Yeah, that's on Sunset Trip. But and it was the whole glam period because Bowie was big then and whatever. And that was Roth's whole big thing. He's like, you know, Ed Allen, I were kind of like the jeans and t-shirts guy doing the music and Roth was going, no, you got to wear spandex. We got to do this. And thank God, I don't, I don't think there are any photos floating around of me playing this gold lame outfit that I wore in Van Halen because believe me, I had to go crawl in a hole somewhere. But I think because we were kind of on the tail edge of that whole deep purple humble pie, all those, those old rock and roll kind of guys and where new wave was coming on. Punk was really big. I remember our first tour in 78 in England. We couldn't even, we were afraid to walk the streets because it was all skinheads and punks and, and you know, with that extra, with that music, exactly. Which weren't just the posters like over here. They were living the life over there. So it was scary. Well, they, I'll tell you what they got over there. Like we have essentially non-threatening white people over here. Like maybe the guy's got a Mohawk and he's on a Vespa, but his dad's a dentist. And he's out of Beverly Hills. You don't have to worry about them. In England, they have actual hooligans. Like to have the guys get loaded at soccer games and go out and bash people in the head. Yeah. And their fathers are steel workers and you know, they're working crappy. Yeah. The dads are like, whatever Ozzy Osbourne came from, that's what they, they have those guys there. They're actually criminals. They were living the life, you know. Yeah. We have a bunch of posters over there that just picked up the crap from over there and put the anarchy thing on their bomber jacket, but it's not the same as the real thing. We hang a few safety pins from our code and put it up and work ourselves hard for. Yeah. I went to high school and a bunch of those assholes. But I think, I think because of all that going on, you know, and it didn't really influence, I think a lot of the way we wrote the music because we all grew up listening to, you know, Zepp and the Who and Cream and bands like that. And so the, now did a guy like, like we all know, like, I know Sammy Hagar is a really nice guy, especially when he's talking about his tequila. It's crazy. I've never heard a guy. Tequila, how you would put it is tequila been very, very good to me. But I swear to God, that guy would be like, well, I cook breakfast with tequila. I'll put it in my squeeze bottle when I'm out mountain bike riding. Like, all right, listen, Sammy, you put it in your hair. Like, Sammy, we get it. Yeah, you have it to Keela brand. Relax. So I'm not putting my kids bottle. Sorry. But he seems like Sammy Hagar to me seems like a 50 year old teenager. Like he just seems like a nice dude. I guess he's, is he from the up north or something? He's actually originally from Fontana. Oh, really? But I guess he relocated. Yeah, he migrated himself up to San Francisco area. He just seemed, seemed easy. Roth seems sort of nuts. And I don't mean nuts in a horrible needs to be institutionalized kind of way. But I mean, in a kind of like less controllable, less reasonable than Sammy. Sammy Hagar sounds like seems like kind of guy you might be able to reason with. Roth seems like there'd be no talking to Roth once he got going in a certain direction. Roth did have a side to him that was actually, I don't know if he'd call it the softer side of Roth. But you'd almost never see that because he was on stage 25 hours a day is what it basically was with Dave. And he actually was a little bit nutty. Like, you know, I mean, the guy wasn't that coordinated. I remember one time we were rehearsing a song and we gave him a tambourine and we'd let him play that for about 10 seconds. And then we took it from him and said, no, maybe that's maybe that's not your instrument. They're used to in Pasadena, they used to have this go-kart track call. I forget what it was. It was a go-kart thing. We all went go-karting and they kicked him off the track. They thought he was screwing around running over stuff and whatever. And he was actually really trying to try. He was trying. He just didn't have the hand-eye coordination to be in these issues. Not really. Not really. And I guess that, you know. But I mean, he was like, he was just born to be a frontman. Yeah. Like he couldn't play an instrument. He had pretty good pipes, but I wouldn't call him a virtuoso singer. He, but he was just great timing in terms of, you know, if it was in the 40s, it probably wouldn't have worked out. And I don't know if it would have worked out today, but the time was right for David Lee Roth to be a frontman. And he was a showman. It was like he was an entertainer. Like that's part of the business. I guess that's half the business. And I mean, that was really a big part, you know, or a large part of what made Van Halen, Van Halen back in the day too. Maybe the fact that Eddie Van Halen, who was such a virtuoso, was standing behind him probably helped. Because if you had a weak guitarist, I don't know if Roth could have got away with what he got away. No, no, because the music was, you know, and especially Eddie's cutting edge guitar playing was pretty much a big focal point of the band. But then you had Roth, like you said, who is a showman, the Cosmant Showman, man. He was... Well, when did you start to sense that the train was coming off the rails? I mean, Roth always seems like a guy was... He just strikes me like Terrell Owens, if you follow football at all. Like, he's a superstar, he's gonna have to have a coach that can kind of talk to him and contain him a little bit. But you're never really gonna get him to shut up or get him just to play team ball out there. But he's such a gifted athlete that you can't cut him. Although at some point, even though the guy's a great receiver, the team still says, fuck it. It's just he's too disruptive in the locker room. Man. Is that kind of what happened with David Leroy? That's... You almost hit it right on the head with that. You know, it's like us three were so busy doing the music and whatever that. We didn't even... We let Dave do... I mean, at one point he wanted to do all the press, all the... You know, all that stuff. And we said, hey, fine. You know, we're... Us three will play the music and you go ahead and do that. And at one point though, all of a sudden... And I don't know if I should... Oh. ...be useful for it. When Eddie married Valerie, Bert and Ellie. Sure. You know, I think she kind of planted in his ear. Not that she was like the Yoko Onoish type of wife, but it's kind of like, hey, you know, Roth, you shouldn't let him get away with this kind of thing or whatever. And I think by the time our 1984 tour rolled around, things were starting to get a little bit strange, you know. And Roth's antics were such that... I mean, all the chicks loved him, but all their boyfriends wanted to kill him. They wanted to jump on stage and just kill him. And he would say stuff to them like, hey, that's your girlfriend I looked her last night. You know, hey, toss that guy up here. I'll kick his ass, you know. And we're going, wow, I don't know if you should really be doing stuff like that. But... And plus Dave, he was kind of like, he wanted to get into acting. Right. Sure. And so he was kind of starting to pull himself off in a little bit different direction than where the band wanted to continue going, you know. Yeah. Well, he's, like I said, he seems like clinically insane to me. And at least from the guys I know, because also when Howard Stern went off the air, I took over for Stern on the West Coast. And he took over for Stern on the East Coast. And I didn't catch many of his shows, any of his shows. Well, there weren't many of his shows. There weren't many to catch. But my bosses, who were his bosses, used to call me and just be like, oh, yeah. Well, basically, if you heard one of his shows, you heard all of his shows. Also, they just didn't want to deal with the guy. Like they were just like, it was actually kind of nice. Because I was like a, I would like, I was like a C student who had a brother who was in Juvie. You know what I mean? And my parents would come up and go, oh, you're such a great boy. Really, I wasn't that good either. But compared to my brother, Kurt, who was in Juvie, I was looking pretty good about that time. So it's always good to, by the way, have a brother in Juvie where you can get away with being a semi-crappy student and getting in and out of trouble. This is as long as you're not that guy. But he seemed like he'd gone off the rails. But was it drugs that were motivating this change? I think it was just good old fashioned nuttiness and a big ego. Of course, drugs were there. I mean, back then, because there weren't such a thing as AIDS or any of that stuff back then. It was all sex and drugs and rock and roll. And everyone indulged into their thing. But I think Roth, it was an ego thing. And he just thought that he was bigger than the whole band. And so I think at one point he said, hey, I want to go off and I want to do this. He wanted to do, he was working on some movie, Crazy from the Heat or something. He was going to try to call it. And he wanted us to do the soundtrack and this and that. And the band wanted to, we wanted to write and record another album and go out on tour. Because I mean, we were pretty huge at that point. Sure. And all of a sudden, we finished the 1984 tour. We fired our manager because we couldn't deal with this guy anymore. And we kind of liquidated it all, got rid of all our, we owned our own merchandising and ran our own factory. And we didn't want to be bothered with all that because like we were just supposed to be going on stage and playing. We're having meetings as to what kind of t-shirts we're making. Right, right. And so Roth was saying, oh, you know, I can't deal with all this. I can't be creative in the studio right now because all this is going on. But then he's going off and he's doing his California girls stuff and whatever. So, you know, he was kind of going off in his own solo direction. Oh, there's a scary picture right there. Is that Before and After? David Lee Roth. Before and After. By the way, I asked about Blues's image or Blues's whatever, 20 minutes of goddamn go. You can't guys can't figure that out. I guess I'll look at guys in there in Banana Hammocks for 20 minutes of staring at guys' asses. And no one can tell me who wrote that ride Captain Ride. All right, Dave, Donny, do we have a phone call? Yeah. Yes, we do. Blues image. It was Blues. It was a Blues image. Yeah. Good caller, Adam. Thanks buddy. All right, speaking of calls, who's on the line there? Joey, leave or is it, yeah, Joey, and leave that up there. Would you please, Donny? Oh, put your headphones on. Yeah, I'm gonna put my headphones on. I'm gonna put my glasses on too, Adam. Yeah, sad for all getting old. Isn't it? Joey's got a question. Joey? Hey, what's up guys? What's happening? What's going on, Joey? Hey, I'm huge fan of the Boat with you guys. I don't, I don't even need to put my headphones on to hear this guy. Oh, my headphones. I'm sorry, I'll turn it down a little bit. Hey, I have a question for Mike Lampney that, what is your whole view on the whole like guitar hero phenomenon and why aren't you a character in your own video game? I mean, that's nonsense to me. Yeah, well you'd probably have to call Eddie Van Halen and ask him that question. But I mean, like the whole guitar hero phenomenon, it's great. I mean, I try to play it. I've got two young daughters and they, their boyfriends, they come over and play that thing. And I don't know if it's, there's something about it that's just not exactly like playing the instrument. I try to pick it up and play it like the instrument and these guys kick my ass every time. Do you guys think that there's going to be like some amazing music in like 16 years where like my daughter is so like, like exposed to like Van Halen, the Pearl Jam, like bands of that caliber and Wurch without guitar hero? I mean, they have limited exposure to it. Yeah, no, definitely, definitely bands like Van Halen and, and you know, and The Who and God, all kinds of these old rock and roll bands are, it's kind of like rejuvenating everything, you know, with all the young people listening to that. I mean, God, it was like a couple of years ago, my nephew comes up to me and goes, Hey, check out this bad man. They're so, they're so great. And it was, it was Led Zeppelin. I go, Oh shit, here you want to hear? Check it out. I got all their, I got all their albums. No, but it's, it's great. It's great. It's great exposure and it's, it's, it's pretty cool. It's, they're pretty cool games too. But as far as not the same, I mean, from, from, obviously, none of us know what it feels like to shred a bass guitar. But you're saying it doesn't feel for the same or it's not quite the same. The way it plays doesn't track exactly the same. You know, it's, it's, it's, I don't know, between placing your fingers and, you know, pushing the buttons down and whatever, you know, I don't know. I guess, I guess maybe I just, you know, Yeah, thank you guys. But, but, but as far as the new Van Halen guitar hero coming out, I'll tell you, you know, it's not my image on there, but the singing and playing is mine. Oh, nice. You'll just, you'll just see it coming through Eddie's kids mouth. Oh, yes. He, he put, he put Wolfgang on there. Yeah, I guess, you know, he's, I mean, like no, no offense to Eddie Van Halen or Wolfgang, but how that kid gets so big. Eddie, Eddie's a dwarf. I mean, Eddie, Eddie's the skinniest guy I've ever seen in my life. I think he picks up from his mother's side genes because Valerie's brothers are all, I mean, they're not, they're not fat, but they're huge. Oh, they're big guys. I, you know, the two of them, David and Patrick, these guys way back when Roth was in the band, I wouldn't mess with these guys. They kicked my ass and they're years younger than me. I mean, wow. All right. I had no idea. Now how, now, so you're dealing with, you can take those headphones off. Yeah, okay. We'll wait for the next question. Or just flip them around, put the cord, put the cord on the, on the left, on your left side, that'll help with the mic. Yeah, okay. There we go. All right. So you're dealing with two personalities here. Like you're dealing with, you're dealing with David Lee Roth who I would imagine, you stopped me from Roth. But I would imagine while Roth was in the band, everyone was just focused on Roth because he was the biggest pain in the ass in the room. At a certain point when Roth leaves the band, someone steps up to fill that void and it's Eddie Van Halen. Like, did Eddie Van Halen turn into that? Like what? I could never, I can never really get his vibe. I couldn't, he's not David Lee Roth, but yet he's not the sweetest guy in the world either. So I couldn't figure out his deal. Well, without getting into too much of the dirt or whatever. But you know, he, he, he has time. There we go. There's Eddie and his son. Right. Eddie Van Halen. His time, his time went on. Eddie, you know, took more of a controlling part of the band. And I think that even started happening as far back as when Roth was in the band during our 1984 tour and when things were starting to fall apart there. But then, you know, when Sammy joined the band, we could, we became, I guess you could say, more musically proficient as a band. Because with Roth, there was a lot of show, a lot of that whole thing. And Sammy being a guitar player himself as well as a great singer. He's the Red Rocker. That's right. He, the Red Rocker drinks tequila. Sure. You know, we were able to musically take it another, take it to another level. Because you brought another musician into the band essentially. You just swapped out a showman and brought in a musician. Exactly. I'm guessing Sammy Hagar is a pretty good guitar player. Yeah, he doesn't do too bad, you know. He's a pretty decent guitar player in his own right. But, you know, at that point it was almost like, okay, now we're not going to wear the spandex. You don't have to wear the GOLAMA anymore. If you want to wear jeans and a T-shirt, you do that because we're going to focus more on the personalities and the music. Right. You know, so that's when Van Halen was really making, kind of shifting and going, not a different direction because, you know, we still wrote the music the same. But, you know, we were, I think, able to become more just ourselves than, then. But did Eddie, at that point, step up and become essentially the leader of the band? Like he said, this is my band. No, I don't think at that point that was really happening yet because we considered ourselves. We used to call ourselves the four-headed monster back then when Sammy first joined the band. So it was everybody, you know, all for one and one for all. So then when, now it seems like. Adam, he's digging at them. He's etching away. Well, you don't have to give me any specific stories. But I mean, everything now seems pretty copacetic. Sammy. Well, yeah, because Sammy, Eddie's got the band that he wants now. It's his brother and his kid. Right. So. Well, now. But I just mean then. Now, so when does Eddie, Eddie wants to start? And by the way, what about Alex Van Halen? Alex Van Halen? Yeah. He's kind of like the silent partner. I've never heard the man talk. He's the silent big brother, you know, that would he would talk off stage? He would become vocal if there was something that that he needed to voice his opinion or something that Eddie was maybe going off the handle or whatever. And he could always talk to his brother and and kind of like calm him down or whatever. And I mean, he was always the quiet guy in front of the camera, but behind the camera, there are quite a few holes in our 5150 studio walls. Oh, really? Oh, believe me. He put in there. Yeah. Him and his brother. Wow. I mean, they'd they'd be going chingaso, rolling around on the ground. Wow. Go on fist fighting. But they're brothers, you know, sure. I mean, they did that stuff even back when I first met them. They'd be fighting one minute and then the next minute they'd be hugging and kissing and crying. What is their background? They're from the Pasadena area. What? Yeah, I mean, they're really young when they come home from Holland. You know, their father was a very accomplished musician over in Europe. Oh, he was. But yeah, playing saxophone and clarinet like that. But when they came over here to the States, you know, it was it was tough. Their father couldn't find the gig over here. So, you know, he wasn't working the, you know, doing what he loved to do. He had his little like Oompa Band on the side, you know, his band that did play on the weekends. But the brothers, you know, they grew up in Pasadena and not a lot of work for clarinet players in old town in the 60s. Not too much back then, not in old town Pasadena, you know. And like, how good a drummer because I don't really know anything about music. I know a lot of songs, but I don't know. Like I'm always interested from the musicians who were the good drummers. You know, the good music like Alex Van Halen. You know, Eddie was a great guitar player. I can figure that out. And Eddie were both great musicians. They're both great musicians. When I first, when I first, when we did this show with Van Halen, my band way back when, I remember standing the side of the stage and watching these guys play. And I'm looking at Eddie playing and go, man, that guy, he's damn good. And his brother Alex was great. And then Roth, Roth struts over on the side of the stage. I remember he was wearing this little black vest and he had his hair dyed black with a white, like, like a skunk, right? Because he was obviously, even back then he was into the show thing. And he comes up to me, swagger's up on the side of the stage. He goes, hey, how do you like my boys? And I'm like, get the hell away from me, you homo. This is the band that I would eventually join, right? I'm like, yeah, I don't know about this guy, but, you know, but as far as musicians, Eddie and Alex, they were always, you know, all the musicians in the past, you know, Arcadia around the whole area, you know, they were like, yeah, these two guys, you know, they're, they're great, great players, even back to him when, you know, we were all really young in our teens. So they had whatever their dad sort of passed. They have the gene. They definitely, they definitely have the gene to play music. And so as far as the royalties go and the writing credits and all that, are you all, is it all for one? Are you good? Are you set for life? Me? Yeah. Yeah. Thankfully, because I found a great account and that would eventually become my business manager who helped me out in the early days. I was always like, you know, or people would tell you, oh, you know, if you're on top for four or five years, that's a great career for a rock band. You know, unless you're like the Stones or the Beatles or, or someone really huge like that. And so from early on, I mean, I would, our manager would be going, oh, no, the guys can't be bothered with this investment or whatever. And I would always be going, Hey, you know, if this is going to be over tomorrow, I want to make sure at least I got a few dollars in my pocket, you know, today. And so I started early on, you know, just with that kind of mindset that it could all end anytime, which, you know, it always can, you know, the way this industry is, you know, sure. And so I mean, the lead singer can OD at any time or the lead guitar player or whatever. Van Halen found out, I mean, because we've been through a few lead singers. Yeah. You know, but, you know, so, so thankfully for that, you know, I'm, I'm okay. And now, you know, we have a new resurgence with this new little band that I'm in now too. Ah, that's right. Chickenfoot, which by the way has Sammy Hagar in there and Joe Satriani, who's a pretty good guitar player in his own right. He does. All right. And then Chad Smith, those red hot chili peppers and Chad Smith's been a bunch of bands, hasn't he? I'm trying to think. Well, he's jammed with a lot of people. He's one of these guys that can't sit still for a minute. You know, he's always got about five or six different projects going. He's a big, cool guy. He is. And I like the guy a lot. And I think at some point he got sober and started riding the mountain bike. I can't remember, but I just, I used to ham on Love Line all the time. And I just thought he was a real good driver. Oh, really? Good. Love Line. That's gonna be a good show for him because he's, he's got a few kids. Yeah. From a few different relationships. Tim from, it's refreshing to see white guys doing that. Tim from Illinois has a question for Michael. Tim, what the heck? Hey, Mike, how's it going, man? What's going on, dude? Hey, first of all, thank you for the 1984, I would say album or CD, but it was a cassette back in those days. That was my gateway drug to some good music. The cassette. Oh, heck yeah. About the chicken foot. Uh-huh. The nasty rumor that that's just like a project cut type deal, like a one and done. You know what? I think it isn't so. Everybody, everybody, everybody says, yeah, here's chicken foot, the super group. And you know, like most super super groups, they say, let's pull this guy from this band, that guy from that band, and we'll do one album and tour and get the most publicity and, you know, make a bunch of cash or whatever. And we're not about that because, you know, like Adam, we're just talking about Chad. I met Chad about five, six years ago down in Cobblestone, Lucas, where actually, that's where Sammy met him and Chad's got a house down there. And we were actually jamming as chicken foot, calling ourselves Sammy Chad and I, calling ourselves Chicken Foot for about three, four years before this thing even came about as just a screwy name to call ourselves back there because, you know, the three guys in three towns. And then we pulled Joe in the mix and it was, you know, this was born more out of friendship than a put together band. And I think that's why, I mean, we get along great and the stuff I love playing with these guys. They're all great musicians. And we have no plans of just letting this thing go because we had to, we put out a, what we thought was a great CD and we had it, we just came off a great tour this year. And we've got plenty of ideas for more stuff. And, you know, obviously Chad's, he's got to go back to the chili peppers to do his thing there. But, you know, we work around all that stuff because we all enjoy doing what we're doing and making this music together. So I definitely. Well, that's awesome because when I heard that, I was hoping that wasn't just a nasty rumor. Cause I'm like, that's like the owner of your favorite football team, saying, you know what, we got Peyton Manning, Adrian Peterson and Tara Lowland. But just for one possession. Michael doesn't know any of those names, by the way. He's a rocker. He's got a man out there. Yes, I do. No, but we're, I mean, this, this, this is a, this is a band now. And we're actually, we're, you know, we're putting ideas down already for new stuff. But we're not done yet. We got another, we have a live DVD performance DVD that we're putting together that's going to come out, I think probably early next year, which is really cool that we record, we recorded a whole bunch of stuff during this tour, but no, it's, it's going to continue. And awesome. Good stuff, man. Can't wait to hear the next one. Hey, all right. Thanks for the call. You know, the other, the thing that's probably nice for you is everybody who's in the band is sort of not producing as much testosterone as they were back in the ages. Melod out a little bit and, you know, is financially doing okay. So you're doing it for the love of doing it, not, not for the payday, which I always like to sort of point out, whether it's an actor doing a project or a musician doing a project or whoever doing a project. When somebody's looking for a payday, well, then the product could be anything. They don't care. They're looking for a payday, but you guys don't need a payday. There's no one in this band who needs a payday. Everyone's doing okay for themselves. Yeah, everyone's definitely getting on our past stuff. And right. So hence, you at least know they're there for the right reasons. And oftentimes the product is that much better because again, they're there for the right reasons. Exactly. We went out on tour. We didn't play, we could have gone out, you know, four big egos and say, Hey, let's hit the stadiums and the big arenas. And we didn't do that at all on this, on this first tour that we did. We played, we played theaters, you know, I think the largest place theater we played here in the States was like, you know, four or 5,000. Right. We did a couple outdoor shows, but we wanted to build the following and build it up and earn it. So we didn't, you know, we didn't need the money. Like you said, we didn't need to go and, you know, do a big cash grab. And so, you know, we want to do it the right way and earn our fans and earn their respect. And, you know, and that's why we didn't play any Chili Peppers music or Van Halen music or Hagar music on this tour. We kept it all chicken foot and then maybe a song here or there, like a Deep Purple song or whatever, which, you know, maybe in the future we'll do something from our past, but, you know. I would hope that the Deep Purple song that you've covered was Burn. Burn. That's my favorite Deep Purple song because it's like 20 minutes long and everybody got a solo. It just keeps, just when you think it's over, I'll say, I get it. Yeah. That's how they used to do it. Like I don't know if the guys in the band would get pissed if they didn't get their solo, but like the guy who played the keyboards would get a solo, the bass player would get a solo, guitar would get a solo, the guy playing a hollowed out fish, he'd get 10 minutes to play that thing. I guess back then, you know, now you couldn't go to a radio station with a six minute and 47 second song and go, hey man, let's get some spins, you know. It'd be like going to a cineplex with a nine hour movie and going, come on, what's up, let's go. And that's why when we first went on and started this tour, we went out and we played the whole album, I mean, we were barely over an hour long, you know, but then as you got comfortable, and like you said, then all of a sudden everybody in Chickenfoot, we call it everybody getting theirs, you know, I want some. Joe's got to get his, everyone's got to get his. By the end of the tour, the show doing basically the same material or the same songs, maybe one or two extra things, we're in excess of two hours. So we're extending it, you know, all of a sudden the bass solo comes in, the extended guitar solo has come in, the drum solo. So the one hour set goes to a two hour set when everyone's getting theirs. Exactly, because then everyone's finally getting ours. We just did, we didn't, there's the burnout man. You know, it's actually one of my favorite D Purple records because remember Glen Hughes and now why am I brain farting on the singer? What instrument? Oh, the Dio? No, it was the Dio. White Snake, White Snake singer. Boy, you know, make me really look like an idiot here now. Yeah. David Coverdale. Yeah, Coverdale. When they first joined that band, and I'm good friends with Glen Hughes. In fact, he's been a couple of Chickenfoot shows and I mean, he's a great guy. I mean, that was a great resurgence for D Purple because after Ian Gillin left and that whole thing and Richie Blackmore was gone, they went through a bunch of stuff, you thought that band was dead. And they were one of my favorite bands growing up listening to. Like, Love Burn and Love Some Highway Star. Highway Star, yeah. I enjoyed that song too, and they're both like just super long. Yeah, we did Highway Star was one that we covered during our live show. Yeah. And believe me, that is a lot. Covering the doing a good job with that one. And believe me, playing that for an encore after we've been doing for two hours, what we're doing, I look back and chat, he's panting like a like a dog, man. Like, oh, yeah. Oh my God, you know, no, the thing if you listen, if any young ins want to hear some drumming, go ahead and find Burn by D Purple and Fine Highway Star by D Purple and picture playing the drums for those five or six minute songs like I mean, it's serious, crazy, crazy, crazy. And Highway Star covers everything because it talks about their guy's car talks about his long hair talks about his old lady. It's all covered in one big rock umbrella. I think Susie from Arcadia Arcadia. Oh my gosh, my hometown there. I know. How are you guys? Good. How you doing? Doing good. I just actually, I just drove through Arcadia about two weeks ago and did a weirdo thing. I had some business in like a neighboring town and the guy said like come back in 20 minutes and I drove over to my old girlfriend's parents house in Arcadia and just parked my car like a weirdo just stared at it for a while. I don't know if you guys ever do that. Does anyone else have that impulse? You know what? I do that stuff once in a while. If you were a person growing up in Arcadia, there is one place that's almost a it's actually a staple in Arcadia. It's a little Mexican restaurant there close to the high school called Taco Lita. Yep. Now anybody who's anybody who's from Arcadia knows this and this place is exactly the way it was when I went to school there in the early 70s. The place looks the same. The people I think they're relatives of the people who used to there's this big Mexican woman with way too much eye makeup and whatever. But I mean that was the place and all they've done is given a new coat of paint and it looks the same. The food tastes the same. I still go there about three or four times a month and pick up food or eat there. It is. Really? Yes I do. Wow there's always a line. There is and if you're from Arcadia and you don't know Taco Lita, you're not from Arcadia. Well you know it's a very sad testimonial to our moms because our comfort food is fast food from down the block whereas everyone else's comfort food is mom's shepherd pie or mom's meatloaf. Mine's Henry's tacos. Thanks mom. That's my comfort food. Gotta go down to Henry's tacos and get a soft taco. So what's happening Susie? All right well my question to you is you know how they well I used to say that Van Halen isn't Van Halen without David Lee Roth. Well they say the same thing about you now because without the harmonies you know how does that make you feel? Well I mean I obviously I appreciate that you know and I love everything that I did with Van Halen. I thought our harmonies were pretty distinct sounding you know harmonies for a band and you know unfortunately like I don't know I guess you know I could use the comparison to a marriage you know and you know things don't always stay a lovey-dovey forever and they decided to go their own way and so you know I decided to continue on. Seriously how do you get your voice that high? How do I? Hold on I'm gonna take my headphones off go ahead. No no I'm not gonna do any kind of scream at him we're okay there. You know what it was something I guess I was just born with. I don't know when I was growing up in Arcadia. I was asking a guy why is Dick is so big. He can't tell you. Well you can ask me why my dick is big. No not that you know what I'm saying. I hang around with Chad Smith and the chili peppers. He told me they told me their secret. So yeah how do you get those socks to stay on there? But you know I grew up in a family, I had older sister and three younger brothers and we were always yelling and screaming at each other growing up so maybe that had something to do with it. I don't know. I would assume that there's certain things in life that are sort of God-given almost like some people can mimic other people some people can do accents really well. That is and hitting that high register I'm gonna go ahead and chalk that one up to God-given not taking anything away from you. You work with it as well. But I mean there's things that obviously you do to preserve that. Sure. I don't smoke and you know I keep the drinking down to you know kind of the minimal you know. Right Sammy's probably not excited about you not polishing off a fifth of his kawabawa every morning. Yeah that's scary. Yeah that was a little picture Eddie Vanhand. Now Eddie probably didn't take it easy with the drinking himself over the years and you know things catch up to you as you go along. You know what when you're 20 years old you're Superman you know. I will say this physically Michael Anthony I don't know what everyone's ages are but you definitely look the youngest out of all the Van Halen's of your. Who's the youngest? Actually I was the second oldest of the Van Halen's. Really? Alex is about a so not quite a year older than me and I'm six seven months older than Eddie and smoking and drinking will catch up the edit and it's certain and not eating evidently. Does the man eat does Eddie Van Halen eat? He just he has too fast a metabolism. You know I really you know what the dude did have a fast metabolism when we were in the band. I mean that guy that guy could eat I mean we'd go stop at a McDonald's and it'd get like you know a couple big Macs couple of filet of fish and a sundae and this and that. Right and never put on an ounce. Never put on an ounce you know. It's gotta suck for Valerie Burton. Now he's probably why she packed on the weight. It's gotta there's nothing the only thing worse than being a chick who's packing on the weight is being married to Skeletor who can't put an ounce on eating twice as much as what you are. More. Give me more. Yeah there's just no possible way the guy can put an ounce on and you're just ballooning up right before his very eyes. And the Valerie looking pretty good now though. I know well you know she's turned everyone has turned this whole packing on the weight. That's kind of fine because it was Curcialli you got her going and now Curcialli I heard is she packed it back on back on and then some. Well I know but you can't do the whole the whole way the payday and the cycle works is you have to balloon up then you have to shrink down then you go on Oprah then you get paid. Now you want another payday what are you gonna do. You gotta do the cycle again and go back down again. It's insane. Look you know nothing against. That's unhealthy. Well I guess that's how Oprah I mean because Oprah she kind of goes up and down up and down right. Yeah I know but she has a product in between going up and down all all they have is up and down. Like my wife loves Valerie Burton Alley and I'm like why do you love Valerie Burton Alley so much. I don't have a beef with Valerie Burton Alley. I just don't feel like she brings a whole lot to the table. When I first met Valerie she come to our shows she pissed me off she'd drink all my Jack Daniels. Really. Yeah she you know. Really. Yeah she's able to she's able to get her buzz on a little bit. What did not know that about that. Well of course back then we were all kind of you know. Sure sure live in the life. Yeah what is what was the as far as the cities go or even the countries and the cities in the countries for someone who's traveled the world a bunch of times with a rock band who's and don't say Japan. Where are the fans that we don't know about that are absolutely nuts for like American rock and roll. Yeah it's funny you say you know don't say Japan because they are actually probably the number one place but you know what chicken foot we went we spent a good month over in Europe and we played all over and you know what it's kind of pretty universal over there now as far as for American rock bands. You know obviously you got your more hardcore rock rock fans between the UK and Germany. I mean they love their rock. I mean they love it. They love it blunt. I mean you know bend over baby here it comes right. And so it's always great to play there and you do get there the first reaction if they don't like you man they're the first ones to say this band sucks in Germany in Germany and in the UK and we did very well. Don't judge but they're they make an exception for the rock bands. So who other than the scorpions try to think I don't know where UFO was from. German rock bands. Yeah UFO they were English. You know I'm the only guy who likes UFO by the way. Really you know at Van Halen we played our first all original set with UFO when we decided we were going to starve and try to make it playing all original music. We played in the city out here in Norwalk. There used to be a place called the Imperial Ballroom in Van Halen. We'd play there every now and then it was like it held like 1500 people. It was like the biggest crowds we were playing to and we actually were asked to open up for UFO there once and that's when we actually played our first all original set was opening up for them. UFO and that's got to be tough because you know when you're good musicians in your tight band and you're doing covers you're doing covers and covering hits you're never going to go wrong as far as the audience. Right. It's like you just they're going to start cheering every time you start into anything and but stepping out and playing your own thing especially before Van Halen is Van Halen. That's got to be a little bit hair raising. UFO did that thing that I don't know that bands do today but they had a bunch of hits and they're sort of weird because they got lost in the mix. A lot of people don't remember them and I always thought they were a good band but they did their big hit was Lights Out in London and they had a big live version of Lights Out in London but every once in a while somewhere around the fifth time they said Lights Out in London they would change it to the name of the city they were in. Lights Out Chicago and then everyone would go nuts. That was off there was I forget their big their live album they put out it was from Chicago and he says Lights Out Chicago and there was a big. It's a pretty easy move but it's a good move. Everybody uses that move you know. If you're not doing that come on yeah you got to incorporate the city where you're at in the some part of the song you know but getting back to the German bands now I don't know if they were actually well they're actually considered a Nazi band Ramstein. Sure. You know. Yeah I know. We played over in Europe back in oh my gosh 95. Yeah we actually played from Encino but they're considered a Nazi band. It's a regional joke. They were pretty crazy their singer would light himself. He had more gas jets coming out of his outfit man he'd light himself. But let me let me ask you this as an accomplished musician. I as a comedian when I see the guy drag the trunk up on stage and start pulling shit out of the trunk or the ventriloquist dummy or whatever he's dragging up on stage with him as a comedian. You know if I hear it top or something. There have been other comedians in the past that have used props and things like that. OK. I just. All right stop putting pictures up on the screen. That's that's as a comedian. When I see a guy going up there with a steamer trunk I think maybe not so funny. Right. Maybe not a gifted natural comedian because I never saw Bill Cosby or Mort Saul or Richard Pryor go up there with a trunk full of shit. You put a chair on stage and sit in a glass of water. Exactly. And give me an hour and a half in a microphone. As a musician when you see the guy out up there wearing the crazy David Burns suit or working up the pyrotechnics or getting it going to light himself on fire or coming out there like guar or something. Do you think maybe not the greatest bass player in the land. Well you know they're definitely depending on something other than the talent the musical talent you know that kind of maybe divert away from the lack of musical talent to fill in the gap there you know. Yeah like when the bass is shaped like a sickle and everyone's wearing like a you know everyone dressed like a druid or something you start to think to yourself maybe these guys aren't virtuoso musicians right. Yeah well you know when you play live you actually you know you have to pull some kind of you know unlike unlike a comedian as yourself where you can purely rely on just your mental faculties faculties to pull it off you know when you see a band you know you want to see some visual because otherwise you might as well just sit home and put the album on and put your headphones on and do that but there is a point to where you either go over the top you know you can enhance it enhance the performance or go over the top and it. Well how would it work. I mean financially you know you hear about these big tours and there's 10 18 wheelers full full of equipment and pyrotechnics and you've done all that right and I'm just saying mathematically you think and and maybe the promoters or your managers work on this but you tell me what you think. So mathematically you go from stadium to stadium to big venue to big venue you just crisscross the globe right and you guys get a percentage of whatever how many tickets you sell and how how how much money the tour generates right but for every 18 wheeler filled with shit you got to take a little off the top that that's one more dollar you're not getting. Your hundred plus employees that are out with you you know everybody to make the show with the proteams and what's the one I got to bail them out of the joint and all that that kind of shit right. So every for every big stage show again for every 18 wheeler and every guy who's working a pyro grid or whatever a little bit's coming out of your pocket. Exactly where do you stop like are you raising your hand going let's strip this one down a little and do a little you know play it a little. Well that's like that's like that's like we're bands like Kiss or you know a band that heavily relies on a lot of that big stage show and spend I mean millions of dollars putting something like that together. Unfortunately a lot of these bands they pass they pass all that expense right on to the fan you know because that's why all of a sudden fans are paying outrageous prices to go see the shows you know because then all of a sudden you know the promoters got to make his now and this guy's got to make his because the band wants you know they need you know you let's face it you know you want to you need to get paid to put all that on and pay all those people and Van Halen even though I don't think we ever went over the top with any of that kind of stuff we did at one point before like you know lighting systems and sound systems they can make them more compact and still sound just as big right we take a big light show out on tour and we have you know 150 people out on tour with and you know that's that's that's a lot of money to keep that going you gotta get everyone a silk jacket at the end of the tour yeah everyone's gotta have their everyone's gotta have their tour jacket you know or their ring or whatever who opened for Van Halen you guys you were telling me about going out and doing doing opening for UFO over the years I mean with the Hagar years and the Roth years you guys must have a lot of bands open for you that weren't necessarily household names at the time right or as big as they are now or became right whether some that jumped to mind that that yeah yeah there were there with Van Halen we always tried to do because we were never you know whenever we were opening up for like an Aerosmith or Ted Nugent or something like that we'd see these bands they'd always look at it like a big competition no we got Van Halen we're gonna blow them off the stage every night you know we got them on the bill because they'll sell tickets and whatever and we never looked at it like that we always looked at it like it's a show we want to party and be friends with the bands and whatever so we did take bands out that were like first time bands maybe a first record out or we're not relatively unknown and expose them right to you know to our crowd or whatever probably one of the more popular bands or would become more popular that came out and tour with us on their first tour was Allison Chains really they just put their first album out and they were relatively unknown but like Collective Soul was another band their first tour they barely even had their first hit out but how do you find them like who tells you does somebody go hey check this out or is their manager call you we would have people say hey I've heard of this band and you know either would put the feelers out or just friends we know you know it's obviously it's not like today where you just go on to YouTube and right you know you can plug in anything you want but so you got hooked up with Ramstein well kind of yeah Ramstein and Bon Jovi and Jovi in Europe that was a real treat that tour wow but and then also a lot of times back then because we were on Warner Brothers label oh like they might have a new band hey we were just signing this band and so obviously that would you know pair one of their up-and-coming bands or a band they just signed with you sure yeah it makes sense we got another question by the way got a question oh my god him from San Francisco's got a question from San Francisco oh Tim it's not a how you doing mate what's going on dude uh sitting home sick just me my bong and listen to some corolla podcast thank you sick with your bong boy okay well I guess it could be worse uh we can can always be worse than that yeah fine flu or something or are you okay oh i'm getting better good enough to uh be around i'll go down and hit the heavy bag a little bit later today so you know let me tell you this is why you gotta you gotta wipe that bong with a nice sanitary wipe before you pass it away there you go friends god knows how much disease is being passed around just via the joint have your little pack of smoke will kill all the germs you know i have your little pack of purel there with something you know wipe it on the rim of the ball yeah it's a matter of wait a minute i just came with a new idea you know those ass gaskets they have at the airport and stuff that they put on the toilet seat how about something for bongs you know i mean just a liner that you put on there your guy takes it there you go or you sell a bomb with you you know you see those little pure those little dispensers you hand sanitizer you have one that's on the side of the bong yeah so you know before you pass it you gotta pump a little hand sanitizer on and eventually you'd get so baked you think it was a good idea to drink the purel and then you'd have a lawsuit on your hand what about a joint condom yeah for you know like a little kind of dunce cap thing that you put on the tip i've handed i've had guys hand me joints that seemed like they were like soaking wet dipped in something in something oh i know but i just mean what i mean is like it's weird because i've taken drags off guys cigarettes that were just bone dry they just say let me have a barge off that cigarette the hand you cigarette you drag off it's bone dry but i've had joints that seem like someone just but just dipped it into like a paraffin or something or yeah or like cod liver oil or something like how did this get so wet the guy make love to it it's like you think you're gonna drink uh iced tea and all of a sudden you do it it's Diet Coke yeah or milk exactly exactly that's when you really start looking at who your fellow yeah bong your fellow partners are here they you know yeah hopefully they don't have any scabs or any unsightly looking you know yeah oh wait tim what's happening yeah sorry hello hello go ahead sorry can can you hear me we can hear you can you hear me oh great i'm back all right so my original question a i was calling to talk about mani pacquiao all right i've been watching the 24 7s recently on hbd oh yes seems like he's getting a little soft and he's not really in tune with freddy roach and i'm wondering what what you're feeling about all that uh we're talking boxing right now the big koto pacquiao fight coming up uh in vegas and 24 7 from hbo's the documentary that shows these guys if you like documentaries by the way or you like boxing you'll you'll be into it you have to understand that whenever somebody is doing a program they can they have hundreds of hours of footage and they can edit it in such a way that it can be compelling they do that all the time with these so-called reality shows where they show the chick going it's between brad and steve and then they show her going i don't like brad so much and you're thinking wow brad so good looking brad's like the number one guy and then they come back and she goes i'll take brad and you go wait a minute how about the edit and they're i they're trying to throw you off a little bit so they're trying to create drama so as far as freddy roach goes and mani pacquiao and i don't know which one of them is easier or harder to understand at this at this stage um they're they are creating something in an edit bay here's the reality this is a pay per view i've never thought about this but i'm going to go ahead and play my conspiracy theory here are you ready i'm ready it's an hbo pay per view right yeah they're getting money from this pay per view mani pacquiao is the pound for pound champion right now considered unbeatable and in his prime uh many people might not be interested in a pacquiao fight as far as paying 60 bucks for a pay per view because it just looks like he's going to knock out everyone in the second round if you're hbo and you're putting together a documentary leading into this fight you should make the guy who's a 10 to 1 favorite look like it's even money and the way you do that is when you edit it you make koto look like he's having a great camp and you have pacquiao look like he's not having a great camp and now you go you know what i wasn't going to get that pay per view because i knew pacquiao was going to walk right through him now maybe i'll shell out the 64 95 because this could be interesting him and roach are having a little problem he went to manila and it got rained out now he had to come back and interrupt his training and he's doing too much time monkeying around like david lee roth on a stupid movie projects instead of focusing on what's important to music man that's good to hear so editing it that way all right that's good because i'm a fan of the people's champ you know and i was getting a little disappointed and seeing them portrayed so soft he's uh he's a warrior he'll be ready when he gets in the ring and uh made the best and hbo and hbo make their money hbo make their money and uh it behooves its entertainment and what you really don't want to do is create a documentary that makes you think the favorites going to walk right over the guy who's a five to one dog thanks well they're going to get my money either way i wish they'd keep it more to the truth but that's that's real good to hear and listen whatever you're doing please uh have your accountant call my accountant because uh you're sitting home smoking weed all day you're gonna hit the heavy bag later on it's the middle of the week it's the middle of the day and you got 65 bucks to throw away on the packy out fight what's going right for you did you invent something christ is it oh he's not talking he's not talking he ain't gonna he ain't gonna let you in on that fine all right well anyway that's the uh that's the past he's taking that new bong idea he's getting around with him he's running with my bong liner idea jeez i thought we were really ahead of the curve when donny had his six shooter on his bong i got that i'm cold load up six bowls and slide one over like with the rule no you didn't have the turn six shooter no i got both sliding ratcheting one i got both yeah i'll bring them in you'll bring it in i got the round one and the slider six shooter yeah the slide one and the turn one but either way if you were too lazy to load up a separate bowl for everyone it was really the word it was a novelty pot smoking idea yeah because it would get all rest you're gonna go down and it wouldn't turn or slide yeah and they should have just called they should have just called it like a three shooter the problem with the six shooters a seed would catch on fire burst into flames and pop into one of the other bowls and then set that one on fire too all of a sudden everyone's scrambling yeah come on it's going up what's going up a lot of seeds popping back in the day all right michael a nthin it's all we have time for a chicken foot name of the band name of the tour name of is it name of the cd by the way it's the name of the cd also and we actually we're working on uh we are finishing up a live dvd that we uh we filmed during the course of this tour that's going to be coming out we have a new dvd special edition deluxe edition package that we just put out through best buy right now where can people go if they just want to find out the tour dates or find out about the dvd you go to chickenfoot dot us that's our official website or if you have an iphone if you're an iphone user there is actually a chicken foot application you can get download free for your iphone and get all the information tours videos songs everything uh michael's uh also a car nut and we will bring him back for the car cast sooner than yes we will i uh and partners my partner brad and i we uh own a company called bond speed mm-hmm forage billet aluminum wheels and anything that's all car related right we are into so we're going to come back and bring a couple of our sweet rides by and see there's the high pitch voice you were well we are uh we'll be uh waiting with baited breath until next time this is adam crawler from michael anthony saying mahalo ow those adam crawler show 199 with michael anthony from van halen that does it for this weekend scroll classics 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