Teddi Mellencamp (Pt 2) How to Reconcile Your Life’s Meaning, Summon Strength & Hold Onto Hope During Setbacks!
49 min
•Aug 5, 202512 months agoSummary
Teddi Mellencamp opens up about her Stage 4 melanoma diagnosis, her marriage struggles following her husband Edwin's infidelity a decade ago, and her journey toward self-worth and forgiveness. She discusses how her health crisis forced her family to reassess priorities, her evolving faith, and her current approach to dating while undergoing cancer treatment.
Insights
- Health crises can serve as catalysts for relationship reassessment and priority realignment, forcing families to confront what truly matters
- Long-term resentment from past betrayals can persist despite surface reconciliation, requiring intentional emotional work and sometimes acceptance of unresolved questions
- Public figures face disproportionate scrutiny and judgment, particularly women, which can complicate personal healing and decision-making during vulnerable times
- Faith and spirituality can become complicated when personal experiences conflict with religious teachings or when religious people cause harm
- Self-worth and personal boundaries strengthen through adversity, enabling individuals to make choices based on their needs rather than others' expectations
Trends
Increased vulnerability and authenticity in celebrity storytelling, moving away from curated public personasMental health and therapy becoming normalized topics in mainstream media and podcastsWomen in public roles facing gendered criticism and double standards in personal life choicesCancer diagnosis and survivorship narratives gaining prominence in wellness and personal development discoursePodcast format enabling deeper, multi-part conversations that traditional media cannot accommodateDating app usage among separated/divorced individuals with public profiles creating unique privacy challengesFaith deconstruction and religious trauma becoming more openly discussed in secular wellness spaces
Topics
Stage 4 Melanoma and Cancer TreatmentInfidelity and Marriage ReconciliationSpousal Resentment and ForgivenessFaith and Spirituality During CrisisSelf-Worth and Personal BoundariesDating While SeparatedPublic Scrutiny and Social Media JudgmentTherapy and Mental Health SupportReality Television and Public ImageParenting Through Health CrisisGender Double Standards in MediaImmunotherapy Side EffectsRelationship Breaks vs. DivorceCaregiving Dynamics in RelationshipsPersonal Authenticity and Vulnerability
Companies
People
Teddi Mellencamp
Guest discussing her Stage 4 melanoma diagnosis, marriage struggles, and personal growth journey
Jamie Kern Lima
Podcast host conducting in-depth interview with Teddi Mellencamp about health, relationships, and self-worth
Edwin Arroyave
Central figure in discussion of infidelity, marriage reconciliation, and current relationship status
John Mellencamp
Teddi's father, mentioned as context for her family background
Erica
Mentioned in conversation about gender double standards in media and dating criticism
Quotes
"Did I do things that hurt other people? Yes. To this day, does it still hurt my heart? And I wonder if that's why I got cancer? Yes. I think it was my payback."
Teddi Mellencamp•Early in episode
"I had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me. I had to beg him. I don't think he was in love with me at that point."
Teddi Mellencamp•Mid-episode
"My actual soul-to-soul relationship with God, I don't know how to get it to where it needs to be. I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm going to heal."
Teddi Mellencamp•Mid-to-late episode
"I don't know anything. All I've learned from all of this is I don't know anything. I know I got to just one foot in front of the other day by day."
Teddi Mellencamp•Late episode
"In life, you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams, you stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life."
Jamie Kern Lima•Throughout episode
Full Transcript
Coming up in this incredible Part 2 episode with Teddy Mellencamp. What I can say is, did I do things that hurt other people? Yes. To this day, does it still hurt my heart? And I wonder if that's why I got cancer? Yes. I think it was my payback. So, nothing goes without payment, I guess. It was all over the press, it was everywhere. And you know, you're trying to, you're trying to minimize everybody's pain, you end up maximizing it. I kind of know how our marriage works. And do you think it could change? I think if I was willing to change, but I don't think I am anymore. What do you mean? When you say too that you had resentment, he had cheated? I think it wasn't necessarily the act. It was, I'm not saying that I didn't make huge mistakes. And my marriage post that, but that broke me. I never really opened up about it. A financial thing was why the person was coming forward. And that was like even more heart-wrenching because I was like, you'd be willing to do this to my family for money and not even a lot of it? Disgusting. And I had to, I had to, I had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me. I had to beg him. I don't think he was in love with me at that point. I think we've gone through times in our marriage where we've been madly in love with each other, but that wasn't one of those times. I've never talked about it at all. Were you in love with her? If I didn't beg you, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't book the show, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't start making money, would you have stayed with me? Do you even love me now? Are there other people? My actual soul-to-soul relationship with God, I don't know if, I don't know how to get it to where it needs to be. And that's just an honest answer, you know? Like, I, I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm going to heal. I also believe how come sometimes the people involved with God do some of the most hurtful things. I talk to God every night before I go to bed, and I talk to God in the morning. I mean, I have conversations with God, and I tell God how afraid I am, and I just want to keep being positive, and I just want to be okay. And I believe that he feels that way too. Have you dated anyone since or gone on any dates? And I'm on a hinge. You're on hinge. I'm on hinge. Right now. Right now. But I changed my age range, and now I don't know that I can be on hinge. Why? Are you, do you use your real name on hinge? It just says Teddy. My hinge is about to blow up. By the way, Raya, why didn't you let me in? Do you use your photo, your real photo, and Teddy? Yes. On hinge. Yes. With Edwin asked you on a date, what would you say? It's interesting, you're calling it a break too. Well, I don't know what to call it. What do you call it when you're on a divorce, and then somebody gets cancer, almost passes away, so then you have to put it on hold. Hold? Hold sounds worse than break. Yeah. There's no good answer. I mean, I could just say husband, but then people are like, you're married? Well, yes, but I mean, that's not, that's not going to fit on my hinge profile. No. Our incredible guest today, Teddy Mellencamp, is a television personality who rose to fame on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's also the co-host of the wildly popular podcast called Two Tees in a Pod, daughter of musician John Mellencamp, a mom to her beloved little ones, Slate, Cruz, and Dove. She's also the stepmother to Isabella, and I'm so grateful to call her friend. As her impact in following continues to explode, she's also going through the unimaginable and the fight of her life in this very moment right now. Teddy was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 melanoma, which she shared has metastasized to her brain and lungs, and today's episode of the podcast is unlike any before. So get your tissues out and get ready to feel overwhelming gratitude and perspective for the blessings in your life right now that can be so easy for us to take for granted when we have them. And of course, we have a little fun too, and get the inside scoop on what really happens behind the scenes of your favorite reality TV shows and so much more. Whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kernley-Michel podcast family. Thank you so much for being here. And can you take two seconds and hit the subscribe or follow button on the app you're listening or watching on? It truly means so much to me. You can also get inspiration into your inbox from me for free. You can join my newsletter community at jameykernleema.com. And this incredible podcast episode today, it's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know who might need some inspiration today, or perhaps a boost in their self belief. Because what you're about to hear can truly impact mine, yours, and their lives too. Welcome to the Jamie Kernley-Michel. Oprah, how have you defied the odds? Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug, but your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow. Melinda French Gates. When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. I could see the light around her. She's infused with light. Imagine overcoming self-doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kernley-Michel. Jamie Kernleema is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kernleema in their life. Jamie Kernleema. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kernleema. I talked to my therapist about it. I'm like, if I feel the urge, if I get asked on a date, or if somebody wants to take me out, she's like, you should go. She's like, anything that you want to do right now and you feel in your heart that you want to do, do it. She's like, it could even be, it could be a date with, if he asked you on a date and you wanted to go, nobody's setting any rules for you. But like right now, I'm not in that place. I'm not wanting that from him. I just want him to be happy and I want our kids to be happy and I want us to be able to have a good friendship and relationship. And I don't want to do anything to hurt him. But I don't know that I need to like, I kind of know how our marriage works. And do you think it could change? I think if I was willing to change, but I don't think I am anymore. What do you mean? I think I would, the old me would have gone above and beyond to do anything to make sure that he's, you can go to this event or that I could attend this with him or that we could go on this trip that I would be home by this time because that would make it more convenient for him and the kids or whatever it may be. And I don't have, I'm not like that anymore. Do you think he could change for you or what? I think he has changed certain things. I think by being in the hospital with me, by taking me to the hospital, by learning from doctors, because I think if this would have happened three years ago when this first was diagnosed and he would have had more of a kindness to him about it and not well, it's only stage two. Not many people die from stage two of cancer, you know, like those types of things that just men say out of passing or that their friends say to them and so they repeat. Maybe, I don't know for sure, but maybe I would have responded differently, but I had already had resentment by then. I don't want to explain it to you. Go online and look it up. I don't want to explain to you why I'm scared that I have stage two cancer. I don't want to explain to you why I'm afraid that I don't have health, you know, like life insurance. I don't want to explain to you, still to this day, whether it's him or someone else, like, I don't want to explain to you why now it's, now that my thyroid's messed up, that I'm having some different medical issues and it's because when you're on immunotherapy, it attacks different parts of your body. So now, all of a sudden, I have either hypo or hyper, I can't remember which one it is, thyroidism, and I couldn't figure out why I was shaking so much. So then I had to go back to that. But it's like, once I tell you what the diagnosis is, either call my doctor, talk to me a little bit only if it's with love, like, I just, I don't have the patience for it. And then I get annoyed. And I don't know that that will change once I don't have cancer. Because I know I can do it. I know I can, if somebody tells me something about them and it's not something they want to talk about, I can research it. Heck, I do it every single day on the podcast. When you say too that you had resentment, and I know this has come out now, which is why I'm going to ask you. Was it when he had cheated? It's been reported in the press that nearly 10 years ago, just before Teddy and Edwin made their debut on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Teddy discovered Edwin had been having an affair with one of her close friends at the time. The couple decided to stay together and Teddy says Edwin had remained faithful in their marriage ever since. I think it wasn't necessarily the act. And was it with your best friend or a good friend? It was with somebody I knew. Yeah, it was with somebody I knew. And I mean, I'm not saying that I didn't make huge mistakes. And my marriage post that. But that broke me. That was the first time in my life where I was like, how will I show up every day with a smile on my face and raise these kids and be this perfect wife and start a television show and become somebody that people like or they think are funny if people say, why do you seem different than when you were on your first season of Housewives? Like when we listened to your podcast and I never really open up about it. But that's why that's what I was going through season. My first season on Housewives, that's what I was going through. So people say, oh, you seem kind of quiet or you're kind of passive or that's not really who you are. And I was like, well, I wasn't faking who I was. I was coping. I was coping and I was so scared that someone was going to find out and ruin my family's life. Did you tell anybody? Did anyone know? My best friend that I told the day it happened. I have one, I went and stayed at her house the day that it happened and the day I found out. And ultimately, it came down to like a financial thing was why the person was coming forward. And that was like even more heart-wrenching because I was like, you'd be willing to do this to my family for money and not even a lot of it. Disgusting. Did you find out because that person came forward? That person called me. That person called me and told me. And it was a couple of days before filming. Of your first season? Of my first season. And I had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me. I had to beg him. I don't think he was in love with me at that point. I think we've gone through times in our marriage where we've been madly in love with each other, but that wasn't one of those times. And there was a while that I thought maybe I'll leave. And then it got better. But I think people oftentimes think that if this happens in a marriage and even if it's reversed, which people have said a lot of different things about me too, is that you're doing it because you don't have care for other people in your life. Sometimes you just don't have enough care for other people in your life. Sometimes you just don't have enough care for yourself to do its best. And it's not trying to hurt other people. I don't think Edwin was trying to hurt me. I don't think throughout any of the mistakes I've made throughout my life, I've been trying to hurt my family or Edwin or of course not my kids. But people don't make these conversations open very often, because everybody's scared of being judged when most the time a lot of people are affected by it. And I mean, I, one million percent, have done many things in my life that I wish I could turn back time. And there's some things that I can say, I needed to do that to move on. Can you talk about this was everywhere in the press. Yeah. So the horse trainer. Yeah. I've never been in a marriage before. I've never been in a marriage before. I've never been in a marriage before. I've never been in a marriage before. Yeah. I've never talked about it at all just because of the kids. And I've never wanted anybody to have a guarantee whether it happened or didn't happen. But what I can say is, did I do things that hurt other people? Yes. To this day, does it still hurt my heart? And I wonder if that's why I got cancer? Yes. Like it was my payback. So it, nothing goes without payment, I guess. But, yeah, the entire, that entire, however long it was that it was all over the press, it was everywhere. And you know, you're trying to, you're trying to minimize everybody's pain. You end up maximizing it. Whereas if you feel like you could just open up because now not only do you have yourself, you have your significant other, your kids, the other person's significant other, their kids. I mean, so many people are hurt in the wreckage. But I can say this from knowing the wreckage doesn't happen on its own. Mm-hmm. It never had happened to me. What do you mean? Like, I think I was so broken as a human being during that part of my life that I did things out of my better judgment. You know, earlier you mentioned sometimes you do things and you regret it. Sometimes you do things because you needed to. Yeah. To go to that next place or to, and do you think that that season was because it was something you needed to then go to the next season? I think I was so sick during that stage because remember how I told you there was like months of headaches and stuff like that? Yeah. I was looking for comfort anywhere I could get it. I felt so much pain. I felt so sick. I didn't go to the doctors. I didn't, and I just felt some certain kind of way. And the pain was so much that I had gotten to the point of like almost hating waking up in the morning, which I had never been that kind of person. Mm-hmm. I noticed things about myself that just like I would just, I wasn't myself and I'm not going to blame that I was sick. But I do think a bunch of things happened in my life all around the same time and I had zero control of any of them. Like I just was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Will this make me feel better? No. Well, this, well this, well this, well this, well this, well this, well this, well this. How is your, how is your faith, how's your relationship with God through this? And right now, um, we need to pause for a super brief break and while we do take a moment and share this episode with every single person that you know who this could inspire. Because this conversation can truly be the words and inspiration that they need to hear today to keep going, to remember that they matter, and to feel less alone and more enough, more connected and more worthy. In life, you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams, you stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life For You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at WorthyBook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you, delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jameykernleema.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jameykernleema.com or in the link in the show notes. Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I've spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful and when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-Love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jameycurlima.com. And now more of this incredible conversation together. How is your faith, how is your relationship with God through this and right now? Do you want me to be honest about this? My faith took a turn. Not my faith, but my relationship with God took a turn. I went to a couples therapy where we went out of town. And this is when I think I was fighting for my marriage the most. And I felt like it took away the last couple bits of fight that I had left in me. And I wondered, how is this possible? This is supposed to be that moment that we're going to be able to change things. I'd already had the first cancer thing. I hadn't had the brain cancer yet. The past stuff with it, when that damage was way done. But I still needed to move on. And I remember sitting there and talking to the person and saying, in order to move on, I need to know what happened. I need to know every bit of the story. And I remember him looking at me and saying, no you don't. And I remember thinking in that moment, if this is the person Edwin is going to, we will never change. Because he doesn't see me as the same. And it's heartbreaking. I knew that day. We sat out on the beach that day, everybody left early. We sat out on the beach and we played pickleball. That was our best day there. We got to laugh and have fun and remember what we liked about each other. But still at the very end I asked, please tell me exactly what happened. With the affair. And he said, you even heard. You don't need to know. It's only going to hurt you. You can only hear that so many times. And did that, what did that mean to you that made you know this is done? Because somebody, I had been asking for however many years, seven years, maybe more. I mean, I've been asking almost, now it's been ten years, but I had asked so many times what the details were. I needed to understand how it started. There were certain things, I don't need to know the actual serious physical things, but I needed to know the mental side of it. How did you start talking to this person? What was the first time? Were you in love with her? If I didn't beg you, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't book the show, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't start making money, would you have stayed with me? Do you even love me now? Are there other people? I don't know. He would answer you? He would probably answer me present day, but I still don't know that we would ever talk about her. And is it something inside you that just needs to know? I don't need to know anymore. I don't need to know anymore. And that's the first time in however many years I haven't needed to know. Just something in me went, you don't need to know. And I don't need to know if it's the truth, I don't need to know if it's a lie, I don't need to know anything. And that gives me peace. Did that change your relationship with God? I don't think it changed my relationship with God. I don't think it changed my relationship with God. I don't think it changed my relationship with God. It changed my relationship to how I'm in a communication with God. My support system is now not through the church. I have a lot of very close friends that are very close in the church that talk to me a lot about this. And help me and I also have somebody who is very faith-based, that's my therapist. But my actual soul-to-soul relationship with God, I don't know how to get it to where it needs to be. And that's just an honest answer, you know? Like I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm going to heal. I also believe how come sometimes the people involved with God do some of the most hurtful things. And it's really hard. For someone like me, everything is a certain way. You know, like I've definitely loosened up. I mean, I used to not even be able to give hugs. The fact that I can even do that now is a big step up. But I'm trying. I think I'm a learning process and I think through all of this, I'm trying to find happiness. I'm trying to find the right way. And trying to believe that things happen for a reason. Do you believe that and also in your relationship with God? Do you doubt God exists ever? I don't doubt God exists. I would say I don't put the time and effort I should into my relationship with God. And it's because, and I'm not blaming. I haven't put the time and the effort I need to into my relationship with God. I think there comes a lot of when you've known people that are super religious. Yeah. And you see certain sides. Then for me, it can be a pull away. Because then I see them being humans. And that's hard for me to decipher. Has your diagnosis and in particular the one most recently in April, Stage 4, has that, have you had a conversation with God about that? Oh, I've had many conversations with God about it. I mean, I talk to him, I talk to God every night before I go to bed and I talk to God in the morning. I mean, I have conversations with God and I tell God how afraid I am and I just want to keep being positive. And I just want to be okay. And I believe that he feels that way too. And so they're just small conversations. But it's definitely, you know, it's one of those things where you do your best. I hope that my kids build more of a belief in people and God than I have. Like it's very hard for me to trust myself, other people, God. Because of what you've gone through. So we can go back a million more years. We don't have that kind of time, but it's been a lot. Yeah. When things we do not wish upon anyone happen to us, things that we would never, ever want in a million years, do you, is there any part of you that believes or I guess just has faith that even though it doesn't make sense, even though it's awful, like it's happening for me, I'm going to come out of this? Yeah, I mean, that's how I believe this is happening. Like I, before I was diagnosed with the, you know, the one in my, the eight in my, or the nine in my chest and my lungs and all that. I was really in a poor place. And I think my spiral would have gone down in a different way because of, you know, all the things that were going on in my marriage and our life. And then that kind of happened and it forced all of us to take a breath and remember what's important. Yeah. It forced all of us to go, Hey, guys, you've all made mistakes. Take a breath. This is not the priority here. This is. Have there been things you've decided I'm just going to forgive? I think, yeah, I mean, throughout my life, I think there's certain things that I'm going to forgive. I would say there's also certain things that like I don't know that I'm angry about. I think I have a lot of figuring out still to do. And I feel like so much in my life. I've, I've done this because people expect me to be a certain way. And part of all this is learning like I got to be just the way that I am. You know, I'm not the best spoken half the time. I'm going to make mistakes. I'm going to say this. I'm going to say that, but I can also be really fun and loving and kind. And that's kind of who I am. And I've had to be a little bit more take me or leave me. Do you feel more free? I feel more free. I mean, I don't even look anymore what people say about me on social media. It's a daily occurrence. Some new massive thing. And I'm like, I haven't moved Google alerts. I stopped looking at all of those things because I mean, I, I was so confused on how much time to be on social media when I was in the hospital getting brain surgery that I was like, should I post this? And I was like, absolutely not. What do you mean? Should you post this? Like it just becomes such like a part of your life. And like there were parts that I just couldn't even believe that I would even consider doing. Is it because you're so trained to like, you're, you're so public. Yeah. So public. And so like keeping people in the loop of what's going on. And people are not going to wonder where I've been for bubble. And finally it took like an entire team of people to be like, Teddy, we'll all come up with a plan to share. You don't need to be in the hospital, not fully comprehensive to what's going on, sharing any of this. Sit here and heal. You know, like people say, well, then why do you do a podcast where you talk about people for a living? I'm like, I'm recapping a reality television show. Don't take it so seriously. And if you do. I hope you really enjoy it. Because like that's really what it is. It's reality television show. So with this whole shift you shared earlier, you are dating someone recently, which I know what you're talking about because I saw it come out on page six and I think it came out in a bunch of places. And you were saying by the time y'all are in the press, we're talking about it. I had already broken up with that person. Right. And of course, anything that you do, if you breathe and you smile, people have an opinion on everything, right? That's the world that we're in nowadays. And I read a quote where you said, you know, I just don't want anything serious right now. Well, I think right now there's only so many days where I'm going to feel my best or feel my strongest. And I don't know them until later. So I can't be in a place where I need to be planning, helping somebody else plan out their life for their day to day activities. Like if it all just works and it's company and it doesn't, great. But I'm not looking to, I don't have any plans like getting married again or doing these things right now. Like I'm just trying to beat this thing. Yeah. And you know. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I don't have any ill will towards the guy was dating poor thing that I'm like, sorry, tried to warn you. He's really private, right? Yeah. It's everywhere. Yeah. I'm like, sorry about it. But there was never anything negative about it. It was more just like, on the days I feel good right now, that's all I got. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sorry. You want it more serious. And so he didn't necessarily say, but I could feel it. Yeah. But such a good person. And so like, you know, maybe at a different time in my life, like such a nice guy. So like caring helpful. And you there are certain personality types that are caregivers. And like he was so excellent. But then I just started feeling like almost like bad. Like I was like, I need, I need to make sure that I'm in the same. Hold on. How do I phrase this? I didn't want it to get to a point where he was more serious than me. And then I had to end it in a way that was dramatic. I have enough dramatics in my life. I have enough. If I can catch it, but the people that send me messages and like, how dare you ever go on a date? You have, you have this, you have that. I'm like, guys, we all got to do what just makes us happy in the moment. Let's try as long as we're not hurting anyone. Like, like it's, there's got to be a happy medium. We can't be so judgmental of everything that everybody does because we don't know what people are going through. Yes. Have you dated anyone since or gone on any dates? No, I mean, I'm on a hinge. You're on hinge. I'm on hinge right now. Right now. But I changed my age range. And now I don't know that I can be on hinge. Why? I changed it to older. I was like, maybe I need to be with somebody older because I don't, I don't know. It's just a theory. And then I put it older and then I was like getting all these messages and I was like, this is not what I need. Not what I need. They send too long a messages. They write ha ha's. I was going to say, I would think you'd go younger if you want like nothing super serious. Well, that's what I was thinking once somebody's married and had, because it has happened twice to me where two people that I've dated said they didn't want kids said they didn't want to get married. And then all of a sudden there's a flip around. I would, I never said I wouldn't. It's just not something on my radar. No, no, it's on nobody's radar when they're single. But I was asking for a reason. Are you, do you use your real name on hinge? It just says Teddy. My hinge is about to blow up. By the way, Ryan, why didn't you let me in? Ah, okay. Do you use your photo, your real photo and Teddy? Yes. On hinge. Yes. What else am I going to go to meet somebody? Like, what am I going to text you and be like, Hey, do you know anyone good for me? Like everybody I know knows Edwin. Right. I want to be respectful to him. I don't need to be like, Hey, Edwin met the guy you played pickle with three weeks ago. It's a cute one. Like, but we do laugh about this stuff. He's like the other day I came in and I had flowers in my room and he's like, did somebody send you flowers? I'm like, yeah, look what it says. And it says the secret love your secret admirer. And he goes, what? And I go, it's from the kids because I asked them for red flowers. So, okay. So you said you'd be fine if Edwin dated. Yes. I also don't, it's, it's not even that I feel nothing, but it's like, why am I getting all the wrath? Like where's Edwin's like, nobody's tracked down who he could potentially be dating, but they're on me. I breathe on someone and that's my new boyfriend. Yeah. Um, Erica was so funny. She was like, it's cause they don't care about the guys. I tell you, I think people are like, I'm not going to date anyone. I tell you, I think people are harder on women for sure. Yeah. Every woman who's ever, you know, had a public role of any kind or a government role or anything. I definitely think people are harder on women with. Um, so if Edwin asked you on a date, what would you say? If my kids were there or not my kids, both either way. Okay. A personal date one on one, like can we go on a date? I would say now. But if he said, do you want to go to dinner with the kids? I would say yes. Or if he said, do you want to go to dinner? I would say yes. But if he made it like it was a date, yeah, I would say no. I think both of us, regardless of where the future holds, I think both of us need this time. And I, and I was always one of those people before believe me back in the day when he didn't really want to be with me. I did not believe in breaks. Yeah. But now, you know, I don't know, I don't know anything. All I've learned from all of this is I don't know anything. Yeah. I know I got to just one foot in front of the other day by day. Well, it's interesting. You're calling it a break too. Well, I don't, I don't know what to call it. What do you call it? What do you call it when you're on a divorce? Yeah. And then somebody gets cancer, almost passes away. So then you have to put it on hold, hold. Hold sounds worse than break. Yeah. There's no good answer. I mean, you, I could just say husband, but then people are like, you're married. Well, yes, but I mean, that's not, that's not going to fit on my hinge profile. No, it's, it's, um, that's so funny. This conversation with Teddy Mellenkamp is so powerful and vulnerable and inspiring. We made it into three parts. Coming up, we're lightening things up around here. Teddy is sharing what really happens behind the scenes on your favorite reality TV shows and how much of it is really real. Plus her best tools and tips on how to navigate online criticism and her hard earned wisdom on how you can best help your friends and loved ones navigate hard things in their lives and so much more. Teddy is opening up like never before in this final part three of this conversation coming up in the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show. Remember this episode's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know, because it can be the impact and change that they need in their life too. And if you love today's episode, click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app that you're listening to it on or watching it on. And if it added value to your life, if you could please give it a rating or review, I'd be so grateful. 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