The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

The Bride and the Betrothed with Trixie and Katya

60 min
Mar 24, 20262 months ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

Trixie and Katya discuss their spring tour dates, wedding culture expectations, makeup artistry challenges, and personal experiences at a Jewish wedding. They also cover trending topics like looks-maxing culture, body image criticism, and various entertainment recommendations including the film '28 Years Later.'

Insights
  • Wedding industry expectations have become increasingly burdensome, with vendors facing last-minute payment issues and unrealistic demands from clients
  • Looks-maxing culture represents a problematic intersection of incel ideology, chronic online behavior, and dangerous physical modification practices among young men
  • The hosts demonstrate awareness of their own problematic language patterns over a decade of unscripted content, acknowledging evolution while accepting past statements
  • Emotional authenticity at social events (like crying at weddings) is valid and human, despite social pressure to maintain composure
  • Classic, timeless wedding aesthetics remain preferable to trend-driven themes that risk looking dated quickly
Trends
Wedding industry exploitation: vendors experiencing non-payment and scope creep from clientsLooks-maxing culture among young men involving extreme measures (steroids, meth use, cosmetic procedures)Shift toward classic/timeless wedding aesthetics over themed eventsIncreased awareness and criticism of body-shaming language in entertainment and social mediaGrowing discussion of sustainable fashion and secondhand clothing as alternatives to fast fashionJewish wedding traditions gaining mainstream cultural visibility and appreciationSubstack and Polymarket partnership raising concerns about journalism-gambling industry convergenceEmotional vulnerability becoming more socially acceptable in professional and social settingsPodcast sponsorship model evolution with direct-to-listener ad reads and promo codesStreaming film rental pricing ($20) vs. purchase ($25) creating consumer friction
Topics
Wedding vendor payment practices and client expectationsLooks-maxing culture and incel ideologyBody image and body-shaming language in mediaJewish wedding traditions and customsSustainable fashion and secondhand clothingEmotional authenticity and vulnerabilityMakeup artistry and quick-turnaround beauty preparationAmerican football vs. other sports entertainment valueStreaming film pricing modelsPodcast guest appearances and formatBotox and cosmetic procedures for event preparationCryotherapy and cold plunge wellness trendsDrag culture and performance aestheticsReal Housewives franchise evolutionHorror film analysis and content warnings
Companies
Substack
Discussed partnership with Polymarket for prediction markets, raising concerns about journalism and gambling convergence
Polymarket
Cryptocurrency-based prediction market platform partnering with Substack for journalism-related betting
Vulture
Referenced as paywalled publication requiring subscriptions to access think pieces and cultural commentary
Netflix
Mentioned in context of Trixie's fashion choices and off-the-rack outfit selections for appearances
Jet Rag
LA thrift store referenced as expensive alternative to traditional secondhand shopping
Goodwill
Budget-friendly thrift option discussed for secondhand clothing shopping in Los Angeles
Chipotle
Referenced in discussion of questionable brand collaborations (Chipotle Crocs collab)
Crocs
Footwear brand mentioned in context of unusual brand partnerships and collaborations
Westfield Mall
LA shopping destination mentioned in context of clothing purchases and retail experiences
Miele
Vacuum brand discussed for quality and performance, with plans for deeper discussion in future episode
People
Trixie Mattel
Co-host discussing personal experiences, wedding attendance, makeup artistry, and cultural commentary
Katya Zamolodchikova
Co-host engaging in conversational banter, sharing perspectives on weddings, culture, and entertainment
Michi
Mentioned as creator of custom bodysuits and clothing for Trixie, currently touring in China
Bob the Drag Queen
Referenced as frequent podcast guest and fellow drag performer in conversation about guest appearances
Ginger Minj
Referenced as last guest on the podcast before they stopped having regular guest appearances
Valentina
Mentioned as waiting to appear on podcast, with hosts making suggestive comments about her appearance
Plastique Tiara
Referenced in context of Andy on the Patio's comments about seeing her perform
Nymphia Wind
Mentioned in context of Plastique Tiara's performance and Andy on the Patio's observations
Andy on the Patio
Guest who appeared on the podcast and made comments about other drag performers
Tyra Banks
Referenced in context of America's Next Top Model and photoshoot trends discussion
Bad Bunny
Referenced as object of attraction and in context of Super Bowl halftime show language controversy
Nicki Minaj
Referenced in satirical context about assembling nuclear warheads with Megan Kelly
Megan Kelly
Criticized for comments about Super Bowl halftime show language and English-only expectations
Hillary Clinton
Referenced in context of unusual hairstyle choices and appearance changes
Mitch McConnell
Subject of dark humor about mortality and political opposition
Tony Collette
Referenced as comparison for emotional crying response at wedding
Sarah Paulson
Referenced as comparison for emotional crying response at wedding
Maria Bamford
Referenced as comparison for emotional crying response
Monet X Change
Referenced as fierce drag performer and person the hosts love
Kelly Mantle
Referenced as having a similar pet euthanasia service with wine bottles
Quotes
"I only can pay you the half that I paid you at the trial."
Wedding client (recounted by Trixie)Early episode
"You probably could have told me when I got here that you didn't have it. And I probably still would have done it, but waiting till the end."
Trixie MattelWedding makeup story
"If there's a tux, a white dress and a white cake, that is a theme. It's a baseball game, right?"
Trixie MattelWedding discussion
"I just love love. If we're not crying at a wedding, when are we supposed to cry?"
Katya ZamolodchikovaWedding reflection
"Before we look smacks, can we make sure we personality minimum?"
Trixie MattelLooks-maxing discussion
Full Transcript
Busy routines can make it hard to focus on your health goals, but MedExpress offers a simple way to explore weight management treatment online. Complete our short eligibility consultation with no need for face-to-face appointments or travel. If eligible, treatment is delivered discreetly, with UK registered clinicians offering support along the way. Visit medexpress.co.uk slash podcast to get started today. Hi everybody, our spring very bald and very beautiful dates are just about sold out. So we're putting shows up for the fall! Hello! Why don't you go ahead and get your tickets at trixiancati.com? Ah, the website. Do you like websites? 🎵 Hi! Hello? Hi. You wanna be on top? 🎵 Have you seen this trend that's like, my photo shoot after I told Tyra my mom died in a fire and it's like... It's like some... Okay, that's a bad example. It's like my total my mom died in a construction site. It's like somebody in their garage like... So crazy. Yeah, my mom was butchered to death. I was stabbed 17 times. So there's 17 knives hanging above you. Crazy. There's a proliferation of all the think pieces, which I can't read because I don't subscribe to the 4,000 only fans that these, you know, the Vulture and Postac. 🎵 Wait, Substack has... Oh, partnered with Polymarket? What's Polymarket? Oh, baby. Just about a gambling... 🎵 Global cryptocurrency based prediction market. What? So like, I predict. So that trixie is gonna talk like... She's gonna say the word, cut 17 times in the pod. I think she's gonna say 20. They bet online about that. The tagline... That's weird. Yes, it is. It is very weird. Oh, we can't do that in the first few minutes. If we swear too much in the first few minutes, we get... Bleep it. We have to bleep it. Bleep it. Just go, uh, uh. Well, our Pan Bondi episode got blocked because I think people are like, it's fascism, but we're also not supposed to yell the F word immediately. No, it's the attorney general who's a huge fan of ours listening to the podcast. Oh, she loves us. She's 60, by the way. And she's in bed with the FCC. She's 60. What does that mean? She's 60 years old. Is that good or bad? I don't know, I just love it. Wait, wait. So Poly... Substax... So when the... The advertisement was because journalism works better when... Oh my God, can you look it up? So it just looks sub-stack and poly market and the verbiage is so dark. We are in... We do have to be careful as a society of the senseless collabs. This is exactly... The senseless collabs. It's not senseless, it's just nefarious. It's the Chipotle Crocs collab. That actually makes a lot more sense because I would love to eat my crocs sometimes. You know what I mean? But this is about journalism and gambling. Right. So it's like... It's something to the effect of like... Because journalism thrives in a gambling market or some crazy shit like that. I'm not into gambling. No, because... No. And I encourage people to perhaps not also be into it because it's one of the most nefarious addictions that ruins lives more than sometimes with drugs and alcohol. I have a friend who had a secret gambling addiction. We didn't know until way later and he was like, Did you know all those years we would go home for bar clothes and I would go to a casino? We were like, No. Same as somebody in our family too. It was a shock. Shocking. Very crazy. And also it can be... Destructive. Destructive and especially when other people have to foot the bill. Right. There's been times in your life where I wish you would have gambled the money instead of do what you did with it. I know, but shoveling into the furnace is so fun. You always joke about bearing your money in a hole, but you never do. Wish you would. I didn't know that. Wish you would. Down at Westfield Mall, fucking breaking the bank. I stole those clothes. What about thrifting? What about it? Why don't you buy some used clothes? This is used. Used by whom? Those are my brothers. He handed me down. I have... Yeah, I mean, I have... Well, in LA it's tough because a thrift store is a regular store. You're going out of the jet rag and a thrifted shirt, it's about $38. You got to go to the Goodwill and Los Filos, the one that all the human shit outside. Yeah, yes. But then I got to go to the human shit removal service and get it all, whatever. I don't know. You're right. I think... Yeah, there's too much waste. Secondhand is good. Secondhand is great. Secondhand is good. Vinge is good. Often it's not... Because I have such a challenging figure, such a big body shape. Because of your size. Yeah. You know. Broad. Broad. Doey. I make my own clothes in drags. But we don't ever see those clothes. This is like what I'm talking about. You say, you're like, I'm always at the studio sewing and then you show up to Netflix and four off the rack outfits. But I sewed the hem on them. No, I have been making some real shirts. You're getting ready to do your big one. No. Well, Michi, the girl I went to, love it with, she made me... Oh man, she made me this body suit that has the boobs attached to it. And it's so beautiful. I wear it around the house. Love that. I saw your story with Michi. I believe I met her backstage. Yes. She's a quite beautiful lady. Oh, she's amazing. I think she's in China right now. She's doing a world tour for her job. She's so gorgeous. She makes all the lovely shirts. Oh yeah, the pod shirts. Yeah. I don't know why I didn't bring it today. It was the fucking cane one. You saw that one. Yeah. But I wanted to talk about something that just flew out of my head. Can I talk about something else? And then you can tell me to shut the fuck up. I have been really deep. I follow a lot of makeup artists on TikTok. And one of the things makeup artists be talking about a lot recently is weddings. And they're talking about how the expectations of the wedding industry are so hot. You talked about this last time. I did. Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm going to pivot to something else. Okay, sorry. I remember it reminded me of the time when I was doing wedding makeup. I know everybody get your laughs out now. I used to do wedding makeup. Everyone laugh. Thank you. So this woman, I did her wedding trial. This was like a core memory that was so buried that when I unearthed it, I both didn't recognize it, but no, I know it happened. I suddenly I was like, I remember this. Oh my God. I did her wedding trial. She looked great. Beautiful woman. She looked great. And at the trial, the brides would pay 50%. And then I'll make them pay the other 50% the day of the wedding or before the wedding. This gal, when their wedding day came, eventually she was like, yeah, I'll pay you when you get here. I said, great, I get there. I do the whole makeup for her wedding. So it's the morning. She's getting married. She's getting married at home or she's, she's getting ready at home to go somewhere to get married. So I finished her makeup and her house, all the family photography is her and her kids. The theme of the photo shoot is money. So they're sitting on big oversized bills. They're holding money. Some of the shoots are them throwing money. Right. That's real classy. So I finished the makeup and I go, you look amazing. You're going to have a great day. Thank you. But you know, it's time to square up whatever. And she goes, well, this is the thing. I only can pay you the half that I paid you at the trial. And I didn't say this, but what I really regret saying was what about that money? Could you go get me some of that money? No, no, no, we just, there's like, okay, that's totally fine. Makeup wipe half the face off. I would never do that. I'm not going to violently assault someone with an itch or do you know, wipe, but we don't have to violently, gently. But I remember just thinking like, you probably could have told me when I got here that you didn't have it. And I probably still would have done it, but waiting till the end. Yeah, no, no, no offense. That woman is a fucking bitch in a cunt. Not to mention you guys at the time she's stealing from the poor to benefit. I guess they also poor. Like I didn't have money like that with the, with the crass, nasty, tasteless money pictures hanging out. Yeah, it was just like, it was so trippy. I think I drove home in silence and blocked it out. Good. You should have drove into the church and killed everybody in the wedding party. Well, I thought about it this weekend to because Sunday I drove an hour out of LA to go to a wedding. Oh, that's right. You looked great. Beautiful. And white is definitely your color. Thank you. Everybody said, why are you wearing a white dress and a veil? And I said, well, I'm involved. Um, so I get there. Five, five o'clock wedding. Perfect time. Get there for 30. The sun is setting. It's a Jewish wedding. I've never been to a Jewish wedding. Did you wear your, they have the horror, which is hope. No, that's not right. Is there's fabric over their heads while they get married. There's the hopper. Oh, the horror is the chair in this guy. So the wedding's beautiful. So something you need to know about me when you invite me to something is that I am all in. Okay. You crushed the glass. So there's 120 person wedding, probably 140 people. They have parents. I'm crying more than anyone there. And I'm crying so bad that I'm getting self-conscious because I'm like, you're the plus one. You're not allowed to cry when you're not involved that closely with the family. You don't even know their first name. I do know them. I'm friends with them, but I was like, I peeped their parents and I'm like, they're not crying. I'm in the back row. Like, I was like, that is so crazy. And I'm not trying to cry. So then I'm trying to hide it. And the tears that are coming are so, you know, when the tears are so big and wet, they're coming, whether you can, they're falling. So my boyfriend's with me and he looks at me and he sees I'm crying and he knows I have an issue with this. We're like, if it's, I'm going to cry, just be crying. If something is remotely good, genuinely good, I'm crying. Okay. Mind you. Mind you. What? Hello. Come say hi. Oh, hey. Hi, ladies. How y'all doing? We're just talking about how we fantasize having sex with you. And my fantasies have continued to be hers of stuff. Oh my God. I was talking about Andy on the Pado's talking about when we were at Plastique and Plastique and Nymphia show. And I said to him, I said, is it weird for you to see Plastique and like, do you think of me? And he goes, you know what's weird? It's hard for me because she's up there, but you're standing right here. How's that possible? I love him. Well, thank y'all. I just want to come and say hi. You know, I'm very jealous. Bob has guessed it. I'll just show so many times and I've only been asked once. That's been here like once. That's not true. Yeah. Yeah. He's been like, we stopped having guests. Yeah. Ever since ginger. We can't. She's massacre. Just was like, well, that's how you have a good time. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, how's she's massacre. Just was like, well, that's how you have a guess. Yeah. She was the she was the last guest after that. God damn. Yeah. Well, I was going to say hi. I don't want to bother y'all too much. It's a podcast you could promote. Oh yeah. Money talks. Let's listen to one. Eight talks. And also it's gonna. You better have both hands free and watch this one with Valentina because you're gonna be jerking. Oh my God. You guys. I don't want to. I don't know when this comes out. She just. Valentina. Valentina was sitting in there. Oh yeah. Waiting to go in. And I was like, fuck. I was like, there's a lot of sync. 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So I'm crying. Okay, yeah. And my boyfriend knows that I get, you know, for Valentine's Day, he wrote me a note. I cried like someone died. Like stop me the toilet seat. I came down the stairs in my house. Like, ah! Like it was like too much. Wow. Tony Collette. No, not Tony Collette, Sarah Paulson. Yeah. Ah! Crying. That's Maria Banford. Right. So I'm crying and then I'm laughing because I know that I shouldn't be crying this much. So then I'm laughing at the thought of it. So I'm like this, holding the tears like this in the back row. So the bride comes and everyone turns around it because I'm in the back row. I'm in the front to her. So imagine you're at the wedding and your music is playing and I turn around like this. Like it was so bad. So then I'm trying not to cry because it's her wedding and I want her to have a present moment and not be like, look at everyone. Why is he crying like that? There's some fag in the bag. So I get through the wedding, it was great. And I'm like, God, so we go and we sit down and there's a cookie table. You started crying at that. I think, I want to mention Pittsburgh, I guess, and this is a Pittsburgh thing where everybody, maybe I'm wrong. Tracy, Google. You bring cookies at a wedding in Pittsburgh and at the end, everybody brought cookies. So you take a bag, a cookie, doggy bag home of all the different cookies, what they got. What? So there's a cookie table with a velvet rope because you're not supposed to take it till the end. I'm not taking anybody's because. I walk by the groom's table and I go, I know you have a velvet rope, but if I want these cookies, nobody here will be able to get between me and these cookies. So nice try with the rope. And then plot twist, I got so drunk, I forgot to take them cookies. But, is it wrong? No, it originated in Pittsburgh and Youngstown, Ohio. Pretty cool. I think it's cute. It is cute, I prefer money. It's a cookie swap of a wedding. So the wedding's beautiful, I love weddings. I love an intimate wedding. My brother got married on a porch, there was 10 of us there, I loved it. I've been to huge weddings, cry. I love all of them, I just love love. If we're not crying at a wedding, when are we supposed to cry? I went home and be like, can I cry at a wedding? You can cry anytime you want, it's not in the car in the 101. Right, so I'm busy shaving my legs. I'm on Coyne Gapast. I'm crying during my mascara. Doing mascara and then crying at the same time, because I want that look. So we go to sit and then the parents dance, right? So me and the groom's mom are talking a lot because she owns an umbrella cockatoo, she's a big bird lady, so we're talking about birds. We're talking about birds. And all bird people talk about birds like this, they're like, it's a nightmare, you have to get one. It's like everybody with the bird is like, if there's anything I can do to dissuade you, but it's changed my life and it's like my other child, I love it so much. I lived with a landlady who had a flightless bird on her shoulder at all times. The poop lady. Yeah, I know about that, I know about birds. But what's weird is, this is a side side note because I'm getting a bird. This is a side note, I'll get to it later. You're gonna cry about the bird? Of course, but people keep going, don't you know how long they live? I'm sorry, do we get pets hoping they die? Yeah, a pet that will live as long as I live, why don't you talk to me in 13 years when your colleague's dying and I'll be sitting here with my bird being like, and she's a preteen. Minds it, she hasn't gone to middle school yet. Right, I don't know why people are like, the birds live so long. I'm like, when your dog dies, I swear to God, you will wish it was living 50 years. No shit. Okay. Because I was there with that doggie, Death of Dula. Right. That was awful. Napoleon, poor one out for Napoleon, nappy little nappy, so cute. But that woman, I'm telling you, she, I've never seen. Kelly Mantle? No. Kelly Mantle has a similar service. She has six or seven bottles of wine, she comes over, she takes your border collie in the headlock and chokes a life out of it while she watches you. And then just walks out of the house like that, leaves all the wine bottles and then just drags it down Santa Monica Moonlight. So then we're sitting, we're eating, the food was great. Love a wedding with good food. Then it's time for the dancing. And I cry when the, the son and the mom dance to that song from that, the song, nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around, not while I'm around. Beautiful song for a mother and son, love it. And then the father and daughter dance, the brides, parents are both modern dancers. So an older man who really can dance, whenever there's an extension, the arm is out, it was like a Fred Astaire swagger on an old, like I'm crying from that. I'm crying from all of it. That was the last time I cried of the evening, but just the three times. Just the three, just the three longer sections. Yeah. Were you wearing makeup? Did you have to repowder your nose? I put makeup on. Yeah, but that's what I mean. I cried so much, I think I had white streaks down my face. And then something I did do, because I'm not flexible, if the situation calls for it, I can like the grudge out of any situation. So I hear that, oh, it's about to become a cash bar. Extreme back bend. Back flip, back flip, sprint, spin move. Velvet rope, I can get these chunky thighs over that. In five minutes, it's gonna be a cash bar. I'm gonna need three tequila sodas. Cash bar at a wedding? Well, no, at a certain moment, it turned into a cash bar because they're closing. Who? The bar. The venue, the wedding was over at 9.30, nice and early. But right before that cash bar, I said, I will get in there. Oh yeah, and you brought your own pail. Right, I brought my own pail. Forget my trough. I had one of those gumball machines. You put a quarter in it, put my mouth under it, splash on the mouth. You know those love, oh my, it was a great wedding. I love weddings. What was the theme? Marriage. The theme of the wedding was marriage. I mean, what's the theme? Love. Well, I did just watch this TikTok saying that we're experiencing the trend in wedding right now is classic wedding, elegant, classic, timeless. And the TikToker was saying that we're all gonna regret that because weddings are gonna all look to wedding-y. I think that might be crazy. I feel like a lovely plain wedding is lovely. The thing about things is sometimes that they are a certain way. And we identify those things because of those qualities. Right, if there's a tux, a white dress and a white cake, that is a theme. It's a baseball game, right? It's a baseball game. I'm okay with a wedding-themed wedding. Also, what it does is it relieves a little bit of burden for the attendees. Of course. The theme is like Balkan Baroque with orange. Like what? You know what I mean? It's crazy. It's not crazy, but it's like classic never goes out of style. That's why they call it classic. Yeah, I love classic. I do too. But the person on TikTok was saying like, I think the response to this is, in a few years we will see more of those fucking dances down the runway. No, we will see like one of the themes that was pitched. Not a theme, but like an aesthetic was Freaky Tiki. Like vintage prom in a gym. Fabric, streamers. I actually really loved that. I like that for a party, a birthday party. Halloween party. You don't like it for a wedding? No, I don't. I like, I don't. I want the church and the, Yeah. So I don't know. But when I go to a wedding in my mind, I'm picturing some kind of altar to people, sides of a family. I want the love is blind wedding to watch. I'm thinking, I'm thinking like at least 13, 14th century Gothic architecture, cathedral, Latin incense. Service is probably around three, four hours long. We do my traffic. Catholic, of course. Catholic, of course. Of course, of course. The Jewish wedding, Stump on the Glass. Yeah, yeah. The woman, okay. This is fierce. Rabbi Janet was taken no prisoners. Rabbi Janet, she roasted people. No, she goes, oh God, what was she talking about? There was a part of a prayer that's in every wedding. And she said, these other religions don't know is, they actually got that from us. And everyone laughed and she goes, is there something funny? Ah! And then she cited the passage that I guess gets used a lot. Okay. And she's told a story in the middle of the wedding about the time a priest gave her a tip to say, you know, you're gonna use this passage. And she said, well, guess what, honey? I'm a rabbi. I knew it before you knew it. I knew it. It's a pussy so tight, like a nun. Right. So anyway, she was fun. A lot of acapella singing. Very good job. I was like, okay, work. I love the stepping on the glass. Yep. I mean, I guess it signifies that, just like this glass can't be reassembled, I think it signifies that now that this is a union, the world, that your world has changed forever. This marriage. Do you know what they do? I know a lot of Jewish weddings in the Midwest, they just use Pukis. It was really easy to crush. And they're easy to come by. In Hollywood? You just put in a sock. You don't even need the... You can walk through Hollywood with a push broom and go home with about a dozen Pukis. Mary, I went, I passed the little like smoke shop. I was like, do you have gum? They have no. Just Pukis. No. Just Pukis and lighters. We have cold glass and hot glass. Pukis lighter, a little thing on the liberate, a little like stand. I was like, they have to have gum. I guarantee they also have... Gatorade. Gatorade and monster energy. Like an energy drink. Oh, they have a million of those like rocket fuel, like gonna kill you with drinks. Oh yeah. At this point, I think the straight men are crack it open like a D battery and they're just drinking that. Well, you know what? And this is sad. A lot of parents, I know, who have like tough schedules and stuff, they bypass the coffee. Mary, they go straight to those fucking monsters. Cause they need energy. I've climbed down the ladder. I'm hugging the, like organic black tea more. Oh, see that wouldn't even register in these people's lives. And they're not drug users. People who have autoimmune disorder, we don't need to be mass consuming energy drink. Well, sure. And it's certainly if you have any type of anxiety, the last thing you want to do is introduce more cortisol as you're looks maxing. Right. Can we please talk about that for two seconds? We can, but I have to finish the wedding talk. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay. So then my other favorite part was the part where they throw the people up in the chairs. Oh. So they have the two people in the chairs. They throw up on them in a chair. I pictured like an eject thing out of a, you know, Oh, she never came down. She's going, well, they go, we need four big strong people. And I thought like, I'm not going to be responsible for dropping a bride or a groom or lifting her so high. She, you know, she hits the chair. Yeah. So, and then everybody holds hands and goes around in opposite circles. I, nobody up in the chairs looked relaxed. No. Everyone's like, It's a, it's a trust issue. Yeah. I don't think, I don't, and this isn't about like my body. I would be scared of people who've been drinking in slippery dress shoes, holding me up on a fucking folding chair, whatever the hell. Girl, a lot of it I got on it. She stood on a chair when I went to the actor, and I started screaming. Oh, yeah. Get down from there. Get down. I think I'm just going to, I'm not Jewish, but I'm going to say that maybe at the Jewish wedding, we put helmets on the bride and the groom. Green Bay Packer helmets just in case. I'll do you one better. Invisible bungee cords. They don't even need to be. Na na na na na na. The chair is a very light foam. It just attaches to the dress and then she just goes. I think like instead of the chair thing, they should do pink. We're all going to start a fight. Rubber bands. So. And also, and I don't want my dad to walk me down the aisle. It's like, as soon as you hear the music. Right to the altar. Yeah. Here's weddings. Weddings. Sorry, you were just going to talk about something. Ow. What were you going to talk about? I forgot. Oh, fuck. No, no, no, no. Look's maxing. So this is so, this is so, okay. You know, I don't want to be okay boomer. Baby, I got one step ahead of you. The other day I tweeted, before we look smacks, can we make sure we personality minimum? There you go. Hello. Thank you. Thank you. But you know what's real? That you can call these men like a pedophile protector or like a fascist. The worst thing to be called is a beta. Cause they really believe that the alpha beta thing. So I'm not, obviously I'm not, whatever. I'm not like chronically online anymore. And I'm also not a fucking sociologist. But like, and I'm not that smart, but like the, it's just, it just seems so a product of just, chronic online weird incel lack of socialization. I don't know. It's like these guys are, talk about it. Incel is, it's incel related in a sense that like, they're, I don't even want to like dignify it with their talking about their names. It's like, cause there's so loathsome. But the idea of looks maxing to me is so stupid. But that thing is choosing to like put a little concealer on. Well, it goes further than that of course. But I'm saying like wanting to look your best. That's what it is. Is quite far from, I think looks maxing, but it's like a sign of, I think health when someone like, does their hair and puts a little perfume or like, you know, this is a very historic phenomenon that has existed probably since the days of the boneyard. That's right. They gave people are probably putting on the fancy flowers in their hair or whatever. They're, you know, even the primates are ticking ticks out of the, you know what I mean? They're grooming each other. Yeah. Grooming. But the, it's so funny. It's like, I don't know how to describe it, but they're like breaking bones. They're doing trend. They're doing, do you saw the guy get his wig snatched? What's trend? It's a very powerful steroid. Trend is one of the testosterone supplements that gives you all the back knee and makes you crazy. Trend is like real serious. Yeah. So like HGH testosterone trend is like the, they're also taking meth to get skinnier. Well, yeah. I've heard about that. That guy, that is, I was like, that is the stupidest. I mean, it doesn't make you skinny. Yeah. It also ruins your life, but like, how do you know? I'm not, I've heard, I've heard, I've heard, but like, why don't you just anyways, that's, you're not going to be able to inspire the masses if you keep living your dream. You're out here living your dream on a podcast. It ruins your life by the way. Look at me. Let's take a break. There's ads. No, no, that was, I think it's a rumor. It's a rumor. No, they're doing it. They're doing it. Like all? Well, do you listen to what's that pod? I think it's from Vox. They did a whole segment on it. Okay. And that's literally what they're doing. I listened to what I was speaking. So, okay, that's, so that's another, okay, that's a interesting thing. It's like, where do we draw the line between healthy self-care? And this is, I think where the term makes more sense now. Looks maxing, not health maxing, not optimizing. How do I, at what, at no matter the cost, how do I get my shell to be a certain way? To attract to whatever, whatever. And yeah, looks maxing is just about physical appearance. And it came from male incels. Back in like the 2010s. Oh yeah, because I think it comes from the alpha beta. Like you're trying to cheat genetics to be an alpha if you aren't an alpha. And sort of like the self pressure of like, don't be a beta look like this. So you have access to this. But I don't get the sense that women like this. Well, they, that's the thing. It's kind of not about the women. Oh, it's the fanboy people. No, it's they're all getting together on their little party buses with their little mess and they're fucking rubbing their dingies together. I mean, I just made that up, but I think that is the vibe. It's wild. Today's episode of all the beautiful is brought to you by Wayfair. Wow. Okay. Your home. My friend told me that your home is your sanctuary. And the more you can feel recharged and beautified at home, the more you can be better in every other area of your life. And I actually really believe that. But is it possible to have quality pieces that really upgrade your space, but still have a budget and still not have to wait months and months for something and still have easy assembly? The only way to do that is to have quality pieces and assembly. The answer is yes. Okay. My house, we have things in my house that are vintage. I love antique. I love vintage, but some things you do just want new. And we have pieces in my house, my studio, my house in Milwaukee. We have Wayfair pieces everywhere because it's like, my little condo in Milwaukee is like industrial loft. So it's like, I wanted some new stuff for that. But then my house in LA is, you know, a little more gold and brassy and animal print. It really called for specific pieces. My dining room chairs are all Wayfair, sit in it every day. And it was very easy. I mean, when I was doing Tricks and Motel season two, when you're doing a TV show, you have to furnish everything on a budget in a small amount of time. And Wayfair really, really saved the day with things because I could have a lot of different options and get it very quickly. And I always want pink furniture. And so I need like a vast selection to pick from. I also loved it because my dining room chairs were super easy. They came in a box. All I had to do was put the legs on. The legs had been on for years. No end in sight. What I also love is that at Wayfair, you can do installation and assembly services because those are available for really a seamless experience if you don't want to do anything. My makeup station at my studio that I put together in like 2018 was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I will never put together a large piece of furniture like that ever again. Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's Wayfair, W-A-Y-F-A-I-R, dot com, Wayfair. Every style, every home. This episode is sponsored by Raketen. It's 8 p.m. on a Tuesday. I'm standing in my kitchen, glaring at my soapy sponge, thinking if I'm gonna scrub this cursed fork, I should receive tribute or a parade or at the very least, a tiny velvet pouch of 17th century doubloons. Frankly, I believe everything in life should be rewarding. From buying a laptop for your doxin to selecting a reasonably firm avocado. This firm belief is why Raketen feels like it was designed by the strange benevolent monarch of my inner world, just for me. With Raketen, I earn cashback and rewards on almost everything I buy. So the ordinary act of shopping for toilet paper at Target suddenly feels like a bejeweled ceremony. It's not just personal hygiene. I'm talking about fashion, beauty, travel, electronics, restaurants, and groceries. Raketen basically covers the whole magnificent marketplace of human desire. And you can shop at Instacart, Expedia, Macy's, Sephora, CVS Alta, Adidas, Peco, eBay, Zappos, and Best Buy. It's an absurdly easy way to save money while spending money. And to answer the most important question from a recent letter from my favorite fan in Austria, Heinz DuPeldorf, yes, I love stacking cashback on top of sales in coupons like a greedy little savings goblin. So you may be wondering how it works. You just sign up for free with an email, shop, and let the rewards accumulate like destiny. Then you can redeem those rewards however you want, PayPal, check, built points, gift cards, or if you're an ineligible American Express card member, membership rewards points instead of cashback. But for that one, terms and conditions apply. So go ahead, book that trip, fill that card, order some decadent dessert, and let your every earthly errand drip with glorious rewards. Raketen is without a doubt the most rewarding way to shop. Join for free at raketen.com or download the Raketen app to start saving money today. April is a dangerous time for me because the second the weather gets even a little flirtatious, I start behaving like a woman of a certain age who has simply had enough. Suddenly, I need a spring trip, a trip where I need soft pants, dark sunglasses, and a destination where I can walk around at golden hour pretending I have secrets. That is the power of April. It thaws the pavement, reawakens my allergies, and fills me with the completely irrational confidence of someone who thinks a weekend away will fix everything. So this spring, I'm planning a trip to Savannah where I found a home on Airbnb that is draped in both moss and charm. I want cobblestone little squares. I want to drift around in the spring sunshine like an Antu's on an Eat, Pray, Love trip that includes grits and barbecue. I want to do some light strolling and maybe buy an impossibly impractical piece of jewelry in a local boutique. And at night, I want to sit down to a dinner that is so good, it makes me briefly forget pretty much everything. This is the kind of trip where you need to place that matches the fantasy. That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb, because when I travel, I do not want to be crammed into a hotel room with a view of a parking lot. I want a real place to stay. I want a living room where I can decompress after a long day of wandering around and judging Southern architecture. I want a kitchen for snacks, a table for my frosty beverages, and enough space to dramatically collapse on the floor like Julia Robertson's something to talk about. And if I'm traveling with friends, it's even better, because then we can all stay together instead of scattered down different hallways in a hotel. And of course, once I start planning one trip, my brain immediately escalates. Suddenly, I'm looking at Carmel next, then Malta, then Hokkaido Island, a little ocean air, some seafood, and maybe even a long walk where I pretend I'm processing something deep would really I'm just thinking about Russian pop music. Whether it's one quick spring reset or the beginning of a full warm weather spiral, trips just feel more personal when you book through Airbnb. But speaking of the... Bad Bunny wanting to fuck me. No, the alpha. I saw 28 years later, the Bone Temple. Okay, I saw your tweet because you didn't like the previous one, did you? No, no, I enjoyed it. I cried my eyes out to them. It was a different vibe. It was good. I loved it. It was? Girl, I keep driving by the... Girl board being like... Well, my thought was the response to the one before was mixed, even though I loved it. So I thought, how are they doing another one? I can see that. Oh, mama, there's the two majors. How would you compare? If I saw that one, what is this one? This one is balls to the wall. It's so intense. And there's an alpha zombie who is a... I cried with the big dick. Yeah, and I cried. Isn't that awful? No, no, he had a big dick. You're just saying he has a big dick. I would flush that zombie dick. Well, mama, you're gonna love this. So there's two different storylines going on. Ray finds this crazy doctor. He's covered in, it's not blood, iodine. The guy with all the skeletons. Exactly. So he's got his own little underground bunker, da, da, da, da, da. The alpha, he tames an alpha via morphine. And I won't spoil anything else about that. Morphine loved Deon. She's in the movie? Your daughter. My daughter? Yeah, she fucked the alpha. Of course, because she know. Well, she's warming up for me. Yeah, so then, but then there's... Do you think people want to fuck alpha zombies? Do you think that I'm like morphine? I think the resemblance is almost, I would say sister is not mother-daughter. Yeah, that's what I would say. Okay. But the other storyline is so harrowing. So there's this guy, Jimmy, who is a psychopath. Okay, new character. New character, regular... Spoilers, by the way. No, no, no, it's all in trailer. Oh, I have nothings in the trailer these days. Well, no, no, no, I mean, you can see that there's this blonde guy, and he has a cuttery of like, he's got his little cult gang, and they're all called Jimmy. And the way that they gain entrance into the gang is they have to kill one of the members and they become a Jimmy. He's a psychopath. And there's a scene where they go to people's house, humans, they're like protected themselves against the infected. They do this thing called, they have this thing called, he believes he is the son of Satan, old Nick. And they're like, what should we, what, I forget the term he uses, like what something we should do for these guys, I think we should take their shirts off. And that's a metaphor. Is that skin? Are they living people, and they de-skin them? It's so fucking disgusting. It was so hard to watch. Okay. There was so, it's so nasty. Okay. You're gonna love it. Hi girl, I didn't even watch the last saw that you said was good, because I didn't know if I could take that. Well, that is, that's splatter, I feel like that's splatter gore, you know what I mean? But I'm watching Real Housewives of Orange County. They don't. So how do I pivot to that? Oh, easy, it's just as vicious. Maddie from, Maddie has me, I said, well, you know, I finished New York, New York was incredible from the beginning, finished New York. Now what? She said, we're gonna have to watch Real Housewives of Orange County. The first three seasons are, it's not the housewives you know and love. It's not like hot rich bitches screaming at each other. It's like. Dumpy Republican women's. It's like gated community people and their families. It's really, it hasn't turned into the housewives yet. Vicki Gunderson. Like they haven't realized what it is. They think it's about children or like, and also it's weird because old TV like that, when someone has plastic surgery and is open about it, it's like so crazy. Yeah, I had my boobs done, crazy. Now it's like, whose boobs aren't done? Thank you, go visit the Bone Temple. Go to the Bone Temple. No, I'm serious. The Boob Temple. The Boob Temple. It's cool. I'll go watch it, I will. And it's. I probably won't go to the movies. It's streaming. Oh. You gotta buy it though. That's fine. Movies, I will say movies at home when you wanna see them, $38. Mary, how about this? I wanted, I was like, you wanna rent it? $20, you wanna buy it? 25. I accidentally, why are they doing that? Because they're trying to antagonize me. They're trying to piss me off. Well, I'm not pissed off. I'm pissed off that I chose to rent it by accident. For $5 more, I could have just given it to you. Yeah, that would have been nice. I don't think you can do that though. I can give you my computer. You can plug it into your giant TV. I get, like I want your computer history in my house. No, no, no. I'll be using, I'll be at the switchboard. They give me watch some certain thing. I'll be at, I'll be at. So watch ball, our show's free. No, it's not. All these ads. Right. No, I'm serious, watch that. And then. When we lost the Patreon, we will be doing a shot for shot remake of. The Bone Temple. The Bone Temple. Yeah, the charity he calls them. And I was like, charity, that's interesting. Mary. For a while we were calling you the lovely bones and drag. I think we got to pivot to the Bone Temple. Yeah, the, the, the. The Bone or Temple? The Bone Temple, the Bone Temple Grandin. Did you, wait, so you saw 28, was it 20 weeks later? It was 28 years later. That's what came out about a year and a half ago. And Spike was in that. The little boy Spike. Yes. And his mom is sick. Oh yeah, Joey Cole. That was very hard. It was so, it was so tough. So he's in this, he gets recruited by the Jimmy's. Okay. And it's just. Oh yeah, it ends with that. It ends with him getting approached by. The blonde guy? It ends with him being like assaulted by some guys. It's like a cliffhanger. Oh my gosh. I didn't even remember that. It's so, it's really fucking good. It's really good. What is the speed they're going down this street here? Do you hear that? Well, it's nothing compared to what they do outside my house. Crazy. Except they have no mufflers and they are screaming and they have boom boxes in their cars. They put up a cross from my house. They put up like one of those, you know, LA is obsessed with those modern duplexes that are built in 13 minutes. Thank you. Is it the four story flop house? It's two, it's three, but it's cut down the middle. So it's two townhouses, whatever. It's a trigger word for you. I know. But it's straight people. And I came home from that Super Bowl party. And straight people at a Super Bowl. Like on the patio at a Super Bowl function, like people in their 20s. Now, LA is back, no it isn't. I've been told many times that I'm a hater. I'm trying not to be, I'm trying to be less of a hater. I know I am. You hate Joy. You hate queer Joy. No, no, no. I like queer Joy. Straight, but what, football, I can get into a lot of sports. I can appreciate like tennis, for example. I could get obsessed with tennis really easily. It's one of the most incredible, difficult sports ever. Even golf, I could sort of, I can appreciate the precision and basketball. Amazing, hockey, whoa. You know, the list goes on. Football? Girl, it's so much. American football. It's so much of nothing happening. It's literally like, When they see a hot, hot hike, the play goes for four seconds. And most of the time they don't catch the ball. No, and the most exciting thing about it is seeing the veins bulge on the necks of the coaches and the managers on the sidelines, screaming into those like headsets. Like their wives are getting tortured at home. There are so many incomplete passes, so many fumbles. So I watch it. First down. Are you guys that good? I don't want to be a hater. I'm like, this sport should move more. And basketball, they're not constantly stopping. Mama, what happens in soccer or a football? Right. They are never not moving. Those whores are in such incredible shape. It would be like if it was tennis, but it was like half like net shots. There's so much stopping and starting in football. It's like how many minutes are left in the quarter? Two. Oh, so we'll be here for four hours. First down. First down what? Exactly. First down. Why don't you just score it? Is it seven points if you get a touchdown and then one extra if you kick a field goal, right? And I think it's 33 if you do. I don't know idea. And it's, it's corny. It's corny. Baseball, thrilling. It's like, it's, and it's like, oh yeah. I love baseball. It's like a great American thing. American football to me is just so stupid, although baseball players are hot. Yeah. They get some, well, sometimes they're not, which is also fun. Like I like a, I like the outfit. They have big arms, could be throwing balls and shit. Yeah. And they, I kind of like when they have a little bit of like a dad bod thing going on. Yeah. So nice the athletes grow their hair long with, it's like a fun thing with the team. And then so then everyone looks worse, which is kind of fun. Everyone grows like beards and long hair. And then you actually, I'm not a super fan. I know that they're not the same people sometimes, but they all have long hair and beards. And I'm like, who is anybody? Hmm. Hillary Clinton. Do you remember when Hillary Clinton grew her hair very long? No. It's weird. Oh, so the gig, I had to do this gig. Oh, yes. So the next day, 5 a.m. Like we leave, Fina picks me up at 5 a.m. Getting the Uber at 5 a.m. We go the, which she's been up for hours. Fina? Yes. Oh yeah. She's been, it's like a 4 a.m. I know she's meditating cookies. She's at the gym by 7. She's fucking crazy. Getting that Uber is like death. And then fall asleep on the plane. We go to DC nonstop. So we have, we arrive, I have to be at the venue on stage at 6. We can't have to get ready at the hotel. College show? Yeah. Have to get ready at the hotel. The American University of something. University of Phoenix. Yes. Trump University. It felt very, very like for profit. No. It was, so anyways, we get to the hotel at 4.40. I heard about the meet and greet. Oh yeah. Oh, the meet and greet was right. But the point is, I beat my face in like 35 minutes. And it looked amazing. I bet. Girl, we talked about it before. Put down the brush and move on with your life. You were in my head the entire time. You can do it. You can do it. It's possible. And no tea, your makeup is... It's not like, we're not doing Chuck Close. I mean, it's not like intricate. You can just do like a black eye. Well, she was like, she was really worried for me. Did he do it? No, no, no. But she was worried on the car right there. She's like, just remember, red mouth, black circle. You can do it. Honestly. But I did more than that. I did like a whole thing. And as long as you were just... I saw the picture, I wouldn't have known. Right. It wasn't like, it was good. It wasn't amazing, but like, it wasn't bad. Foundation looked a little flatter than usual? Yeah, because she usually does the whole... And I didn't have enough time. Also, I dropped the powder thing. Your foundation looked more one color than it normally does. Normally, you have more highlight contour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she's doing more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we do that thing from you. I think it's from you. The yellow, the brown. Oh, the bronzer sticks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah. It's easy too. Oh, and it's creamy. Love it. But if you don't... Yeah, I saw the picture. Your eyes look like your normal eyes. You had less on the bottom, maybe? Yeah. I like you with a lot of horror color on the bottom. You know what the problem is, though? My age and the tissue crepes skin under my eyes. Collects the shadow? Yes, and also just anything is accentuated all the... It doesn't wear that well. Have you ever used liquid or cream? Is that a powder or do they're... No, you have. Liquid or cream? Like shadow. So that it's not powder, because powder will move. But what about like liquid or cream, like black or brown, to smoke out the bottom? You don't have to worry about it. Does it actually blend out well? Yeah, you could use the black play pigment from Trixie, black liquid. And then there's no fallout, because it's not powder. Interesting. I don't experience that, because my under eye is here. Gotcha. But I would assume, if it's closer to your eye, this is like the finest... Oh, it's horrible. I'll slow it. Would you do like a talk back? I did. It was just a moderated Q&A. So naturally, of course, I made them do the Pledge of Allegiance. We stood for the National Anthem at the end. Did you sing? I sure did. And then... And then... Yeah, it was fun. It was fun and easy, and it was like, I can't believe I got... I can't believe I got ready that quick. But I wasn't stressed out, because you just do it. It's kind of like when you have that... Your timing with drag can be tough, because like, if you have too much time, it can get a little weird. Sometimes then you're late. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I try to now... I don't want anything about the day I have to be in drag to be that. Like, just yesterday, I took a wig home, and I, before dinner, sat and styled my updo topper for my DJ gig this Friday, because I said, Friday, I don't want to go to the studio early to style this hair. I want to show up knowing some part of it's done. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, luckily, if you just want to economize the time you're getting ready, you just got to cut corners. You can't do everything you've ever wanted to do? No, but the funny thing is, though, so I had a high neck because of my problem areas. Also, I didn't have to shave all this, which is great. But when I get in that shower, I'm ready to hit it. I'm ready to hit the ground running with that razor. The water pressure was like three adult men peeing on me. I was like, you got to be kidding me. Veterans. Yeah, it was like... Veterans with prostitis. Prostatitis. It was like, this is my rush. This is the shower I have to rush. This is going to take about 45 years. It was so... It was like comically. It was Mitch McConnell's peace dream. When is he going to kick the bucket? Girl. When? Girl. It's going to be so funny. Yeah, I mean, I don't wish anybody died except him. I'm going to be like, thought he was. Like, you know what I mean? Like, what's the difference? Man, he's been... There have to be, but we cannot... But evil can sustain you. No, yeah. People who die, it's never who you want. No. And I don't know what it is about the universe. It's never who you want. I wish that when it was time for someone to die, death would go like, hi, Trixie. And I go, I got a list. I go in here at this other room, my whiteboard. It looks like a phone book. I have it all worked out for you. So top. Pippin' him up. Right. And then we're going down. You know what I mean? Like, and if you take bad bunny before I say... You can't take bad bunny. You take him to my house. You take him to my hotel room and make him do sex to me. Right. I love him. Love him. The other thing was... This is America. And the halftime show should be on English. So, you don't know what they're saying. We speak English here. I know, I know like there's like 40 million Spanish. Megan Kelly, shut the fuck. Megan Kelly can suck it. She can suck it. She can truly suck it. She can suck it. Not any dick. She can just suck like a big frozen turd that they get in those weird German nightclubs. Just nasty wet rat. And it's violent, violent, violent person. Horrible. Hate her. I hate her. I do too. I hate her. And I don't want to hate her. Weird commitment to the bit of being a liar. Well, I think what I mean, my only one of my guesses would just be that people know in this horrible day and age that vitriol is profitable. Girl, she's assembling nuclear warheads with Nicki Minaj and Mar-a-Lago. That's what she's up to. God, if Nicki Minaj gets on one of those subs that they have with all those Satan 2 nuclear warheads. Wait a minute. I wish I could handpick the people on the Titanic thing that exploded. Imploded. I wish I would have been able to handpick. I would have done it like a pyramid, like dance moms. Oh my God. Revealing who's going to be on it. Anybody like, you guys are going to be the most unforgettable. It was like the opposite of the trip to space. Yeah. I saw they have, what do you call it, de-yacified her? Miss Menarche? Oh. She just has flat hair and she looks like, it was just like interesting. Pierce. Interesting. Come with me. And I don't want to belittle people for their weight or whatever, but there was this funny, the guy I followed on Twitter. Big off. When she was walking into the thing, it was just, the ground was shaking. Oh my God. I saw a picture of her with Trump and she was in that big coat and it said they're having a big off. That was, yeah. I think it was probably the same guy and it was like, it was just, yeah. I mean, you know. I think if you're like, I think it's like, I'm not into body shaming unless there's somebody doing evil. You better come for that bald head. Yeah, it's still a cheap shot, but. You know, I feel, shoot me in the eye, bitch. I don't like talking about people's, you would never catch me saying mean shit to someone about how they look. Don't roll the tapes. Well, so I think they have plenty of. I don't like, this happens on the housewives a lot. I don't, I don't like when they say someone has a little dick as a bad thing. No, no. And I think what it means, cause I Googled it. I think what they're meaning is this person exhibits behavior of someone who isn't secure about having a little dick. When you say someone's little dick, you're talking about their behavior, the way they act. Yeah, so that's an imprecise. But I don't like making fun of. Things that people can't change. People's bodies that we think should be bigger or smaller. And I feel like it's up, I kind of feel like it's up there when being bald. People are like, people online are like, end your hairline. Not to me, I don't care if I'm bald, but it's weird to like. Oh, my unit. Sorry. I'm all about slam dunking on men, but I kind of think like, end your hairline. It's like, okay. I have a mirror. I know what's going, yeah. I just, and maybe there's no answer to this. But the way we, I love when people are coming for people they don't like. Let's say you hate this young Republican. Their character, their actions, the things that they stand for and that they promote. We're all very loosey-goosey about saying men have a small dick or they're bald. And I just feel like that's also making fun of someone's physical shit. And it also doesn't matter. Like, and I feel, I regret when I say like, you know, that fat bitch. I mean, I think if you roll the tapes, I do appear incredibly fat phobic. And I swear to God I'm not, but I was at the supermarket and this woman walked by, or no, is at the mall. And she had some very interesting surgery done to her face. Interesting in what way? I would probably like, it was- Aftermarket light switch nose. It was extreme. It was extreme, extreme, extreme. And I looked and I, my immediate reaction was, but I was like, oh, I stopped myself. I was like, you know what? There's so many people in this world. They look the way they do. Let them live. Let them fucking live. I look like a goblin often. I often can get confused for golem from Lord of the Rings. It's like, I, people look all, I mean- I either want surgery, I can't believe it. I can't even tell. Or I want Riley from House of Evelyn. Or who knows? I want the dolls, the goddesses. Or I want like, Restylane, I would have never known. You know, like I want that. But also we don't know anything. I didn't know anything about this woman. I don't know. And then my mind goes to like the bullying for like congenital herpes. I'm not joking. Yeah, like defects or like- Or I thought you said congenital. Congenital. Congenital herpes. Well, that's a thing. Look it up. Queen. But like, I don't know. I just, I, like when I watch a movie where a person gets bullied for being overweight, like especially a girl in high school, I, it like takes a knife into my chest. Like I almost can't watch it. It's so tough to watch. You know, like just bullying in general, like- I have a hard time with that. I think you and I, when we're being huge bitches, it's not unwarranted. I mean, yeah, I mean, we're just, I'm not, I'm not a great person, but I try not to be like a shitty one. No, so that's what I was saying in the pot. I'm like, oh, I was a little mean to that person, whoever, whatever, but like someone like Pimmon. We speak unscripted full time for 10 plus years. It's really impossible to stand by everything we've ever said. Exactly. That is a really good point in people. It's not to excuse bad behavior, but because I try to evolve intellectually. Well, I listen to this show sometimes, I'm like, oh, I said that. Okay, well. Yeah. But I mean- Does your hat say thanks a lot bitch? Yeah. But like, you know, I don't know. It's some people in this world are actually doing evil. Right. And it's- Monet. Yeah. It's Bob and it's Monet. And I don't wanna- It's fierce. Love drag. You know what I mean? I love drag. I'm in an era right now where I love drag. Once they get it. Not always. But right now, because I'm not overworked, I'm just like, oh my God. I love it. I can't wait to wear some gowns. It's so easy to drag when you haven't done it in a while and you're just feeling it girl. I love feeling pussy and drag. I love feeling it. I love to feel it. As long as I got a good front facing shot and no profile, I'm good. Oh, that was the last thing about love drag. The camera, live camera, often from below. Mama, that bitch looks incredible from every angle. Good for her. From below? She gotta figure it out. Every angle, profile, every angle. Cut. Cut. Beautiful. There's some more reviews on your side tables. Okay, I have one more thing I forgot to bring up. I don't know what else I was gonna say. I guess you just let it go. No, no, no, no, don't let it go. Oh, I had a new injector. You doing it right now? No, just kidding. My old guy, Ross, he retired from that location so I haven't gotten Botox in so long but music festivals are coming and it's more for the sweat. So if I get Botox- That works. Do you do a different type of Botox injection for the sweat? No, I get all the way up here into my scalp so that my wig glue don't get sweaty. Wait a minute, baby. You think it's a lie? No, no, no, no. What's wrong? I have something for you. The pills. The glycopere. I'm not taking the pills. Why not? Why not? Music festivals, I need to sweat for health. No, you don't. You're the one who told me that it should only be for on-camera gigs where you're not sweating. No, event-specific hyperhidrosis. You don't take them every day. You don't think if it's 100 degrees at Bonnaroo, I should be sweating a little? I think for my health. You will, not if- What if I overheat? What are you gonna do, have a heart attack? Yeah. No, you wouldn't have a heart attack. Yeah, oh shit. Really? From overheating? Yeah, so I go to this and do injector. And I always feel dumb saying this, I say, because they always are telling me about other things I could do and I was like, I just want the Botox for the makeup. And I said, I like to look really natural and really male. So I don't want anything softened or blown out or out of drag. Like, out of drag, that's not important to me. I'm not here for how I look. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? So I get all the needles, hurts like a bitch, doesn't matter what they do, doesn't matter what they do, it always hurts. Yes, it always hurts. I'm like, dropped at Gorgias and like, ow! What, they have a sale of dull needles like Kmart? I'm like, you know. And they have like a, give me a stress ball. That's my hand, there's a needle in my face. They give you a stress ball. So it hurts like a bitch and I'm just- They did that for the tattoo removal. Girl, don't do nothing. It don't do nothing. I know. So then they go, talking about arthritis. And they go, have you done cryo? And I go, well, I used to do cryo at this location and I was like 25, but I quit because it's awful. And they said, why don't you try it again today on the house? I just wanna see if you like it, see if it helps. I forgot how bad it is. Oh, it's three and a half minutes in like negative, whatever, 100 degrees. Yeah, no. And I believe in the science that it can shock your system into like a survival mode, like a reboot. It's so unpleasant. It's so unpleasant. I was in there jumping, I'm thrashing. I'm in there jumping, my eyes are rolled back. I'm like, I get out after two minutes and I go, she goes, how was it? I said, I remember why I don't do it anymore. It sucks. But I believe that it helps you. I bought a cold plunge, it's at my house. I got in it twice. For how long? Never again, about 10 seconds. Get it to about at least 20 minutes. It's awful. 20 minutes in an ice bath? What are you not? I can't do that. Brendan Fraser and Seenal Man bullshit. Sweetie, when they numbed these little guys, they would put ice on them to numb them. I was like, girl, what the fuck are you doing? Just zap them. Performative. Just zap them. Performative. That hurt more than the zapping. I was like, numb them so you can't feel it. What are you talking about? You just iced me. It's like alcohol in the skin before you shoot me up with a dirty needle. Okay. It's like, yeah, it's like, what are we doing here? Also, it's not numb. It's freezing cold and it hurts. It's like wiping back to front myth. I put the shit in my pussy. And on that note, I think we have some reviews. Let's have 20 minutes of ads. We have reviews. My go-to happy place is from Val Torrey, a better way to spend my time than doom scrolling. True. Fierce. Funny and entertaining conversations with each other and love the occasional guest in guest house. Honestly. Untrue, no. We doom scroll so you don't have to. We'll keep you updated. I don't want to doom scroll. But you do. I don't want to. What you want to do is not necessarily what you're going to do. What you're going to do, thank you. Kha Chis Pussy says bloop. Oh no, boop. Sorry. Just boop. Just boop. That's the whole review. Yeah. Look. Boop. Word Smith. Shakespeare. Best podcast from Tingle Greeny Frog. Love listening to Trixie and Katya on my way to work, getting ready or whenever. You could have chili or chili with noodles. Too wholesome. This feels like it was written by a bot. It's she's ready. Tracy's writing them all. Vacuum. As a person who is the court, as a person who is the court of the Miele, it really does make the difference. Now, my vacuum opinions have shifted somewhat and we'll get into that in the next episode. Can we talk about Miele next time? Yeah. Okay, top of the episode, we're going in because I'm thinking of getting a second one. Okay. And so, okay. I, you're not before you consult with me. Okay. We'll talk. Okay. And then last, last but not least, it's 2025. So happy I can binge for days. I love it. Oh, the pod. Oh. No, I thought that was, stay happy topless. Yeah. Bye. Welcome to only child with me, your host, Bob, the drag queen and multi-award winning comedian, drag icon, trader, New York Titans best selling author, an incredibly humble person. This is my first solo podcast that I'm doing without my annoying little sister. Every week I sit down with friends, future friends and people I just met, comedians, drag queens, reality TV stars, Broadway actors, and many, many more people. Every episode ends with a very important Bob coded question. What's the hell you're willing to die on today? We're going to get real, but I promise we'll also make you laugh. So let's get into it. Hi, I'm Trevi Moran. And I'm Kate Laf. And we're the hosts of the Six Feet Above podcast. We're both six feet tall, duh. And not dead, yet. Plot twist, we're both alcoholics, but we're sober now. Thank you, God. Each episode's going to feel like a sleep over you guys. The good kind. I'm not talking about the one where your friends draw nethers on your face. It's more of the one where you start talking about pop culture and the trauma bonding, accidentally heal something, and still find time to laugh. We talk openly also about addiction recovery and the messiest parts of our lives, unfiltered, honest, and, dare I say, hilarious. Six Feet Above, it's about growth without the annoying preachy vibes. And girlhood without the fucking filter. Wait, who the fuck just filtered us? If you're into real conversations, dark humor, deep feelings, and leaving a little lighter than when you started, welcome. 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