Talking Limericks with Louie

If you're a podcast host, listen up this once for you. My name is Ali Jackson. I'm the host of Finding Mr. Height, a dating and relationship podcast that I've been doing for four years now, sharing my positive and practical approach to dating that's built on my own life experience. And I wanted to share another experience that I've had, my secret behind monetizing my show. It's called Red Circle. And I was just telling my colleague about how much I love their platform. With Red Circle, not only am I getting a seamless hosting experience, but I also love the support I receive in AdSales. It's not just typical AdSales either. It's targeted opportunities based on my show and my life. And the platform is super simple. You just set your preferences and Red Circle matches you with sponsors that align with your show. You can vet every opportunity and their platform gives you great analytics. More recently too, my Red Circle team has brought me opportunities outside of my podcast on social media. To really augment the podcast partnerships, bring them full circle. I just can't recommend them enough. If you want to give it a try, go to redcircle.com to get your free trial. That's redcircle.com for a free trial. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Woo. White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Woo. You two are something. We're bad friends. How about you? You go to car therapy, Carlos? Weekly. You do? Yeah, for seven years. Oh, wow. Yeah. What did your therapist say? He must have had like no paddle. I mean, you know what are those signs? You know those like, yeah, like FBI, CIA, you know what I mean, boards? Can I connect to that? Yeah, yeah. She's a hot girl and she gives me Molly. Why? I'm not a therapist. It's a stripper you're seeing. Right. It's a sticker for where I go. It's a large mom. Fantastic therapy. What is it called? California what? Center for Psychedelic Therapy. Oh my God. Yeah, it's great. That's so embarrassing. So what, you did Austin then you did Vegas? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to a game in Austin, hung my family then Vegas for a wedding. In Austin, what else did you do there? You're not giving us the details. I know, there's something. There's things going on in your life and we want to know. Well, I did match with a girl recently. Yeah. And it was the girl that we brought on stage in Houston. Ooh. I don't remember her. I don't remember her either. She's kind of Asian-y. Ah. And like. Yeah, but like it's like 80% white, 20% Asian. Oh, that's a good mix. That's a good mix. 80 white, 20, so a little Asian. Yeah, yeah. What does it show? Just the eyes are not completely, there's an angle to them. Right. What? Like a shark. Like a shark. Yeah. Like when the eyes are being developed in the wound, the Asian- You say in the wound? A wound. It's a wound. Yeah. Carlos for years thought it was the wound. It's inside your wound. Yeah. That's a vagina, Carlos. It's a wound. I've heard it goes inside your wound. But you, you follow her, Bobby. Well, I do? Yeah, it's Marissa. Tomay? Great. No, I know who you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanna see what you're saying. And did you link up? Bring her up on the thing so I can see what she looks like. Yeah. We're gonna pull up her name, her last name. No, she ghosted me. And then. Exactly. No, but she followed me on Instagram, so we're doing okay. Okay. You getting ghosted a lot lately? What's going on? Yeah, it's all numbers game. Yes, I remember at the show. Yeah. I know her remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad became- My dad became- Dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun. He's cute. Yeah, she's cute. So she ghosted you? She ghosted me, but then I think she responded because it was easy because I was already back in LA. Ah. Oh, she waited till she knew she were gone? Yeah. Smart girl. It is smart. Yeah. So I'm gonna try and trap her into a date in Austin. Yeah. I think we should move to the Midwest. Where do you wanna go? It's a better dating pool. Oh, it is for sure, yeah. Every day I go on here, it's just like, you wanna listen to my EP? No, it's not good. It's not good. It's never good. They don't say EP anymore. Oh, whatever. Oh, do you wanna- Do you wanna see my paintings? It's never good. What do they say if they don't say EP? What do you mean? They say yeah. Yeah, EP. It would be like go to my like SoundCloud or whatever. Okay. It wouldn't be like, here's like a record. Well, I bet you some of the East Side girls probably are like- Yeah, the East Side girls. They pressed a record. They pressed it, dude. I didn't know they were pressing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Eagle Rock girls? Come on, dude. They be pressing. They be pressing. They absolutely be pressing, Mike. Yeah. I mean, that's, okay. So that's the prototype of I think who, what I wanna marry. You mean really hot? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hot. Really hot. Notice nothing about your path. This has always been your, the Mix Asian thing is your key. That's your key demo. I've dated, you've seen, you've met. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you love the most. I love it. Yeah, because Kalilah was mixed. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Other girls were mixed. Other girls that mixed. You know, I dated some Mixies. Yeah, yeah. Because full is a lot. It's too much. Well, it's heavy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean? It's heavy. If you go meet parents and they're both whites. Yeah. That's a lot of defense you gotta play. I know. But if one of them is part of your lineage and anyway, if you got like the Asian dad, you're like, how you doing? Yeah. You know, like at least you got a little in. But if it's two whites, that's a lot of danger. Also there's bullying going on because like I remember when I was dating Sarah Highland, she was from Louisville, Kentucky. Our favorite. And we went one dinner, one dinner, I came to the dinner, family dinner. Everyone was wearing kimonos. Well, that's respect. They were. That's respectful. And then they had a tight Hello Kitty shirt for me. So I put it on. It was really, everyone laughed. That's cute. It is cute, right? But it's like, it would have been nice if there was another Asian there. Yeah. Oh, you're the only one. I was the only one. They should have brought another one in. Just hire one just to be there. And when the grandmother, her grandmother didn't really like me that much. But I did a little Asian thing. I have Asian techniques for them to like me. I went to the grand piano and I started playing because I knew she was in the living room. And then I can see her starting to like me. Right. You gotta bring it, you either do that or do your tech window or something. You have to tell them you have Asian skills, I think. Right. Get your advocates out of your car. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wait till you see. Dude, I was at the wedding last night on my good buddy. What a fun little beautiful wedding. Can I ask you what skaters were there? Yes, no, it was. Of course there's skaters. Because Sean is a phenomenal skater. Eric Costin's one of his closest friends. Frosty, he's always around. He's a good dude. Because I have Eric Costin's story. We know each other. I know Costin, I played golf with him a few times. Oh, you have? Okay. Yeah, why? You don't like Eric? Long, long time ago, I went to a skate party. Rock, roll. Rock, roll? What? What did you do? Wrong, wrong, wrong time. What did you do? Nothing. And I met, someone tried to introduce me to him and he was really cold. To you. To me. And I remember walking away from that going, I hate that guy. He's one of the best. But back then, I don't know. Maybe it was because I'm a weird guy. Yeah, you are very weird. Yeah, yeah. And I come to parties, you know, shifty, you know? Yeah, a little shifty. I'm a shifty little guy. But I remember coming out of the, what? It's very urban, like crack-hetti. Yeah, I was like, what's that man? Right, very fendous. I love your skate style. That is crack, that's crack. Nolly? Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Switch, switch, switch. Switch, switch, switch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Laser flips, dude, you love them? Hard flip, dog? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, I think maybe it was my shifty vibe. But you know, sometimes you meet somebody and you know, you don't know what people are going through. You're right, you don't know what he's like. You don't know, but I always take it personally. And I walk away from them going, I need revenge. Yeah, man, write down what I'm gonna do. Because you wanna be worshiped. That's right, praise worship, that's what the boy needs. Well, what? No, I wanna be treated like a human being, dude. Not true. I wanna be acknowledged as a human being. Like a normal celebrity. No, no, no, what I'm saying is that... Ooh. Oh, that hurt. Gearin' him up. Yeah, you got me geared up, dude. You're gearing him up, dude. Yeah. Well, I know that's why you wanna go to the Midwest, too. Less competition with celebrity girls. Ooh, he's getting geared up. I think that too, though. I know what you're thinking. Gearin' up the bobo. I'm on Raya, right? Yep. And a girl's on Raya. Bradley Cooper. Bobby Lee, which one? Carlos. Oh, yeah, you're on there, too. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta say, I think Bradley. Yeah. Just honest. Yeah, I think Bradley. Honest guess. Yeah. Honest guess. No, yeah, there was a bunch of cool skaters there. Yeah. Just guys that I grew up loving from when I was, it's just such a weird, it's awesome. It's a weird thing to be friends with guys that you're like, you know, and it was an awesome wedding. It was fucking beautiful. Everyone was so rad and nice, because we don't, I don't know, I don't know his family that well. Yeah. So it was really nice. What's the mix of the family? What do you mean? What is he? Ooh, interesting. Filipino? I don't know, I'm not gonna tell you. Oh, there's some mix, though. There is a mix. Yeah, a brown. He's not a fully. Yeah, there's a brownie. There's some brown in there. No? What are you being so mysterious about? I don't know. Okay. Yeah, there's a mix. There's a mix. There's a mix family. Yeah, it was rad though. And everyone was super fucking cool to us, and very nice, and it was a beautiful wedding venue. It was one of those moments where you're like, and you know what's so funny about skater weddings? Is that you know, no matter what you wear, you're good. Because everyone's wearing cool shit. Like there isn't this weird expectation for like anybody to like go out of their way to be like, I gotta make sure. It's like, no, they just want you to look cool, be casual, and have a little bit of, have a little bit of. Let me say something right now. If I have a wedding, dress up. No, they did. You know, I'm saying this incorrectly. I understand. I can't even. Let me guess. What I'm trying to say is like, the vibe was very like. No tuxedos. It was like cool clothes. It was like how Ron Howard dresses. Right? No. Like when he's dressed, like a suit, but a t-shirt and a ball cap. Ron Howard style. It was like skaters. They all have great style. So it was just like cool. Like this one dude had a fucking super wild green suit on. It looked so sick. Some dudes had just the dopest gear I was like, and also wearing vans, like rocking vans. Yeah, they dress so good. They just have, skaters have the best fucking style, dude. They do. They just have like this vibe of like, they pull it off. It looks well to do, and then still casual as fuck, but it's still dressy. Yeah. Like this dude, this dude Cole from Metalwood, he had this just dope ass purple suit on. And I was like, this motherfucker, it was so fly. Like dumb and dumber. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just looked so fly. I wore a traditional black suit. So I just, that's all I wear to weddings. Yeah. I only wear black. You look good. Just black. Well, cause look at this. I can't, what color are you gonna? Malto is like, colors are option. What color do you want to do, dude? You like a bright color? And I was like, it's gonna be black, bud. I can't wear, look at this. I have to go to Jimmy out. You know that, that is his suits for five foot four or less on Ventura. I have to go there now. And whenever I'm there, they're like, yeah, Seth, Seth Green just came in. Like all the smaller actors. You know what I mean? Brad Williams just picked up three suits. Tom Cruise. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. See what it's called. It's Joe Pesci. No, no, Elijah Wood, Tom Cruise, Kevin Hart, Debrother, Michael J. Fox. You are in good, you're in good company. They all go to that Jimmy Owes place. Jimmy Owes, short. What's it called? See, see what, what that place is called. Cause I love the guy. Cause he's always there. What is it? Big and tall. Is it small and short? Jimmy Owes, small and shorts? Dave Franco, a lot of guys that are under five eight. No. How about suits, five foot four or less Sherman Oaks. So funny. No tailoring needed. Yeah. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, Uncle Louis. Are you being real? Thank you. Wow. Did you really go to Bob's big, wow. Let him sit in that blue chair. Louis. Louis. Wow, Louis. This is, this is extravagant. So I kind of a fucked up story because I wanted a cheeseburger. Yeah. So you brought five of them? That's it. Yeah. No, I was, I was looking for, I don't know, like in and out or something. Yeah. I was kind of in a hurry and I needed, cause I need to eat before a certain hour before I wake up in a cold sweat if I eat too late. So. Did you eat? So, so I went into Bob's. I was like, oh, this is like a family burger, like cool, right? So I go in and I said, and I pictured coming here with a bag, a paper bag full of burgers. Yeah. And just going here, everybody have some burgers. And I sat down and I ate Bob's big burger. Yeah. And it was really disgusting. And I got a vanilla shake, but I had a paper straw so I couldn't drink it. Yeah. That's, that's. And then they gave me the burgers in this fucking horrible. I thought I wanted it to be like an old fashioned, like cops, you know, Yeah. Is it as bad as I, Yeah. Mine was. Yeah, they're bad. Louis, can I eat it later? Once you leave, can I eat it once you leave? The whole thing was a mistake. Yeah. He has three over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, he will eat those. Yeah, wait, no. I'm on Osempic. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that being on Osempic is like being kosher or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is. I mean, he did throw up for the first like two weeks he was on it. It was tough. No, I had to switch from Osempic to Wee Govey. We're on Wee Govey. I'm on Wee Govey now. You don't do that shit. You would never. Never. Fuck that. Yeah. I don't know. I would if it was a good idea, but I don't think it's a terrible idea. I think it's a, that you're gonna die from that. You think, you really do? No, I don't. Of course not. You're an asshole. No, I, I don't, I don't like, I get nervous about things like that going, you know, the change how you feel or the change you neurologically. Oh, neurologic. And also I like to fight him in with weight and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it. It's something to lean against, you know. I think you lost weight, no? Oh, thank you. Dude, he was doing, you know, he's setting us up. That's all he wanted to say. That's right. He looks so slender. Yeah. Me? Well, I've been working out and eating more. Oh, that's good. Good. Yeah, yeah. Eating. When you do, when you separate, you start working out more and eating less, you're really hurting yourself. So I'm just going like I'm more exercise. Yeah. So let's lay it on. What's the one exercise that you actually enjoy? Cause none of them are that enjoyable. I kind of like the way it all feels. You do? Yeah. Fuck, I don't know. I can't get through it lately. I guess maybe it's also the, if you, the depression exercise is like I'm doing it because I know I need to do it. Oh yeah, no, yeah. Not cause I want to do it. What about you? 42. Yeah, I mean, it just starts to change. I'm 58 starts to change. Yeah? Yeah. I'm feeling different. I mean, you just sort of like get philosophical about it. And you go like, I like the way it feels when my body heats up cause I'm going on it like uphill treadmill or whatever I'm the stair master. And if I don't want to do it, I just don't do it. I never do it if I don't want to. See, I do that all the time. And I'm starting to eat whatever I want. Like what do we, what do you mean? It doesn't matter. Just eat it because somebody is explaining this to me that if you prohibit, you're in this constant tension that you then have to binge to release. But if you just go like whatever I want, I'm going to eat it when I want it. What happens is your body goes like that fucking hurt that actually hurt. That was not a good idea. And then that memory makes you go, oh yeah, I don't want that this time. I want less things than I used to. You know what I mean? Yeah. You get hunger pains at night? No. You don't. You, wait. He's still thinking about the old world. No, what I'm saying is, is that late at night, sometimes I'm like, should I get a sandwich? No, well, here's the difference. You're not explaining. He stays up all night. So he'll be up at four or five and he, it's now been seven hours. It's important to me to go to sleep and stay asleep. So if I eat too close to bedtime, I wake up at like three in the morning in a sweat. Oh, I see. Because the body's trying to digest. You think it's a white thing? Excuse me for saying. Well, you mean white versus you? You mean white in a way that you're not? I think our bodies are different. That's all. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, but you stay up all night. Yeah, I do. But because I'm an Asian thing or? I think it's an Asian thing. Are you Korean? Whoa. I don't know anything about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good guess. Thank you. Yeah, because when white people guess, they never get it right. You could be Chinese. Yeah. Could I be? I almost said you could have Chinese. Yeah. You could have Chinese. But that was a really good guess. Korean, yeah. I mean, it's like four. I mean, what's the difference? No, there's a punch. There's pie, Cambodia. No, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not on purpose. Yeah, that was really good. You have a gong, so it's fair to talk about this. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? You have a gong and a fortune cat. We're a fortune cat? Yeah, yeah. His father made this before he died. That's why this is an homage to his father. Really? Yeah, no. Did he make it as a weapon or? Yeah. We think about it every time. This is when we remind. Yeah. He feels his father. Stop doing that, dude. Sorry. If you wanted a good burger, you should have taxed us. We would have told you where to go. That's not where to go. I really regret it. Yeah, that sucks. There's so many good burgers too. You single right now, Louie? No. Oh, you're seeing somebody? Yeah, I'm with somebody very much. Oh, very good. Very in love with someone. Oh, that's great. Yeah, somebody I wanna be with. Wow. He's looking for love. No, what I'm saying is that I was curious, does Louie ever date Asians? Have you ever dated an Asian in your life? Yes. Oh, good. Very good, very good. I've dated a Korean woman for a little while, yeah. And what did you, what was that experience like? Cause I've been dating a Korean woman for six years now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And so you are Korean. Yeah. Yeah, I am. That's why I said you got it right. Yeah. Yeah. I thought he, yeah. Yeah, very good. Yeah, yeah. Well, one thing, cause she told me, the woman I dated told me, I asked her what's your last name and she was like, I mean, guess, you're gonna get it in two guesses. All right. Cause it's like Lee or Park. That's true. Like it's only one of them. There's some chose. Chose. There's some chose, yeah. He's envious of a couple of chose, that's why. But what was it like? So she was, I really liked her very much. She was cool and she was, she had an interesting, she was a different, she talked about being Korean without my asking her, you know? It was part of her. She said that it was, there wasn't many, also she was Korean of my generation. There was nobody, she was like in a desert of Koreans and raised in New Jersey. And she said that she had like two friends and they are still very close because they felt very isolated. There just wasn't many people from their culture. Same with them. But she told me interesting things like that when Korean people say, hello, they say, when have you eaten, Riz? Or like say, have you eaten? That's there, how you doing? What is that? What's it, your mom says that? When we see her? Begopah? Begopah. Begopah? Begopah. Yeah, are you hungry? Are you hungry? Yeah, yeah. His mom does it. And then pebulo is I'm hungry. I'm full. I'm full. Yeah, yeah. And I know gochu, which is penis. Okay. Donkomok, which is butthole. Jut, which is tit. Boji, pussy. Is there a plural? That's all I know. I think that's all I know. Plural for tit, you can only say it. Yeah, bojis maybe. Yeah. Boji, boji. That's like titty, titty. Yeah, yeah. And then here's another thing I learned. Jukjuk. No. Yeah, no, let me finish. What? Go, go, go. You know what jukjuk is? Yeah, isn't that jizz? No, no, jukjuk isn't jizz. Trying to start a Korean car. Jukjuk. Jukjuk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Jukjuk is slang for sex. So I asked a Korean guy, I go, I've never, like why jukjuk? And he goes, that's what sex sound like. Jukjuk, like jukjuk. That's a pussy farts and crooks. Yeah, yeah. I guess they're queefing a lot over there, you know what I mean? But yeah. They are. Yeah, I've never heard jukjuk when I'm having sex. Well, I'll go with you. I always hear a Korean guy in the room when jukjuk. Yeah. Sitting in the cocks chair. Factor, fall always feels like a reset between back to school, busy routines, and shorter days, finding time to cook can be tough. That's why I love factor. Yeah, factor's so good. They're chef-prepped, dietitian-approved meals make it easiest day on track and enjoy something comforting and delicious, no matter how hectic the season gets. I love factor, man. I have some in my fridge right now. You can choose from a wide selection now of meal options. They got seafood choices. They got salmon and shrimp at no extra cost, which usually costs more from the other guys. And you can support your wellness goals. Enjoy more GLP-1 friendly meals, Bobby. That's for you. Yes, and for the first time, we have our friends try Asian-inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by China, Thailand, and more. And they're probably working on Korea. For more choices to better nutrition, that's why 97% of customers say that factor helped them live a healthier life. Feel the difference no matter your routine. Eat smart at factormeals.com slash badfriends50off and use code BADFRIENDS50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. You heard it. That's code BADFRIENDS50OFF at factormeals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with factor. Offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Quince, as the weather cools, I'm swapping in the pieces that actually get the job done. Warm, durable, and built to last. And Quince delivers every time with wardrobe staples that carry you through the season. That's right. Quince has the kind of false staples you'll actually want to wear on repeat. They sent us a bunch and thank you to Quince for doing that. 100% Mongolian cashmere. And I've never had that before, but my goodness that I enjoy it. From just $60, classic fit denim and real leather and wool outerwear that looks sharp and holds up. That's the best part about it. It looks good. It looks very expensive. Yes. But it's reasonably priced. I got my eye on their suede trucker jacket. It's perfect for layering and just looks really casual. But put together, my friend. Yes, it does. By parting directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middlemen to deliver premium quality at half of the cost of similar brands. So how are you gonna get yourself wrapped up in some Quince tellin', Bob? Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com slash badfriends for free shipping on your order and a 365 day return. Now available in Canada too. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash badfriends. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash badfriends. Blue two. Oh my God, I'm a 55, 54 year old man. And sometimes my baby's asleep. Sometimes your little toky is going to bed and you gotta wake me up. Toky the dumb dumb and I need blue two. What, I take a blue two, I chew it. Yang, yang, yang, yang, yang, yang, right? And then like 45 minutes later, it's party time. I'm telling you, blue two is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex. Guys, if you are looking to have some of the best sex of your life, Bobby calls me every time he's done having sex and goes, I blue chewed it and I blew her away. It's not just about performance. It's about legacy or third legacy. Get it, Bob? I love it. It's a good joke. Yeah, give her a quick chat, something to talk about. When you lay it down, you know, they're talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little blue two. Discover your options at bluechew.com. And we got a special deal for our listeners. As always, get your first month of blue two free. Just use promo code, bad friends, and check out and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join blue choose mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to bluechew.com for more details and safety info. And big thanks to blue two for sponsoring the podcast. Yeah, so you're in love. That's love for that. Yes, that's great. She's great. She's awesome. Yeah. Is there a limerence involved? No, I don't think so. Both of us are single. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But is there one person more, you know what I mean, obsessed with the other person? No, I think we feel pretty equal. And it's nice, you know? Like, I heard somebody talking once about, you know, I don't want to be the kind of guy who picks girls up at the airport. Like, I heard that said is a bad thing. Picking them up at the airport. Right. And I've picked her up at the airport. You like her. How did that? One time I was coming home and she goes, hey, I could pick you up at the airport. I'm like, you don't have to. And she said, can I please pick you up at the airport? And I was like, good, we're equal. We're mad. Oh. Depends on what airport to be honest. I mean, that is a big piece of it. What? It depends on the airport. I mean, like I- Oh, for sure. Like my wife has never, never. I mean, but I don't, I would, it's such an annoyance. I like, I don't even want her to. Yeah. I'm pissed off when I get to the airport. She's going to show up annoyed. It's like, I'd rather you just be chill at home. Yeah. Yeah, cause I, yeah. I don't like it when they don't do the full thing. What do you mean? What? Let me finish. All right. Let me finish. He speaks in limericks. So yeah. Let me finish. Okay. All right. Kalyla, my ex-girlfriend, she goes, I'll pick you up from the airport, right? But when I would land, she wouldn't be there. And she's like, I'm stuck in traffic. No go. You're right. When the escalers go down, where the baggage claim is, be there with a sign. All right. And then sometimes it's like, come to the parking lot, because I'm not going to go in. You just have to find my car. No, fuck you. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You come to me. You come to me. Yeah. I think it's fair. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, well, it's not a full endorsement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just being polite. Yeah, yeah. I just don't expect, I just, it's just, I'm doing my best to travel better now, to have a better attitude, because it's such a nightmare when you get horrible. But that's why whenever she used to do it, when we were younger and broke, she was like, you know, you can get a fucking cap. Yeah. Like you make money out when you're out. Yeah, but you're married. Yeah, but no, I'm saying before we were married, we were dating. She was like, get a fucking cap. I'm saying here you- How long you been married for? Almost 10. Fantastic. Fantastic. Yeah. You have kids? No kids, can't have kids. No. She's got a penis. No. Okay. I don't know. No, she doesn't. No, she doesn't. Is it worth it? What? Having children. You have some. I have two. Yeah. That's two, that's some. That is, I think some is three or more. Do you really? A couple is two, some is three. Is some three? I think some, it's like a series is three or more. This is crazy to teach in Asian math. That's like the wildest shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple is two, some is three. It's more cultural, social math. Yeah. Okay. He's bad at all of them. Okay, so that you have a couple. I have two children. It's worth it. I think anybody who's on the fence about it should just do it. Really? It's never a mistake. It's impossible for it to be a mistake. Okay. A person. Yeah. For whatever happens. Wow. Well, your kids are grown, grown grown, right? 20 and 23. Wow. Wow. Out of college, or college, any of them? College, yeah. Yeah, that's fucking great. Cause I remember your first HBO special, the half hour. I think that was your first, right? On HBO or no? I did one back in the 90s that was just goofy jokes, but the one I did that was a half hour was all. You talked about your kids and stuff. Yeah, that was a great special. Thanks. Amazing. Thank you. You know, I met you. I don't, you don't remember when I met you. I think I brought it up the last time I saw you is on mad TV with Lauren Rowski. I remember. You don't remember meeting me. I do because my friend Dino wrote for you guys. Oh yeah, Dino. I was on the lot doing something else. I don't remember. Maybe Cedric, the entertainer's show. Yeah, that's right. That's right. And so yeah, I do. I used to see you around. I didn't really, we didn't like hang out. Hang out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you write for Cedric's show? I did. You did? Cedric the entertainer presents. Pretty great. You wrote on that show. I was a writer and co-executive producer. Wow. Give us some good, give us some good Ced bits. Cedric? Yeah. I mean, Cedric was like Jackie Gleason. He was like a great performer. He's fascinating. He's so fascinating. And now, because now he's on like a traditional sitcom and it's massively popular, right? Yes. Neighbor, the neighbor. Something like that, yeah, I've never seen. That's still there? That's still going on? Oh, it's gotta be. It's those network shows, they'll just, they keep writing. He was one of the most natural performers I ever worked with. The guy could make anything funny. Fuckin' eight seasons. That thing. Wow. We had this bit that I wrote called Texas Versus Maine and it was some like local access cable show in Texas that he's, and he's a Texan. And it's about how much better Texas is than Maine and he hates Maine. And it does this kinda like, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, kinda like, what's his name, the cartoon character with cowboy guy. I know, I can't think of his fucking name either. Yeah, yeah. You're 70 Sam. You're 70 Sam. You're 70 Sam, he does sort of an impression of him. And I used to love watching him do it. He was really something Ced. Good guy too, like really good guy. Yeah. You haven't talked to him in years. Oh, I haven't? No. You haven't talked to him. I was like, you haven't talked to him in years. I could tell. I could tell. It's been a few years. Well, cause you're talking about him in past tense like he died. Like he died. Yeah. No, we just, we didn't stay friends. I mean, not actively, but I'm always happy when I do see him. I said, hey. Do you hug him or no? Cause that tells me a lot. I don't think you're a hugger. We hug. You do? Okay, good. I mean, when I saw you, I'll tell you, you gave me a side hug. That was very fruitful. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you the best thing that, the thing that warmed my heart, you said to me, this was great. This is probably the best piece of advice I've gotten from someone. We were at the cellar and we were in, we were in the Fat Black Lounge. And you were in the hallway and you were like, that was really good. When I got off stage, I said, oh, thank you, man. And you go, that's family stuff. That's great. And I go, yeah, thank you. And you go, that other stuff? Get rid of that. And I was like, okay. And you go, the family said that was good. And I go, right, right. And you go, put the other stuff. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. Yeah, he did. You did? Yeah. In a jokey way. No, I meant. No. It was fucking great. Oh, you did. I saw him at the Fat Black. I had never seen him. I've seen clips of you guys together and stuff. Yeah. And so I was just watching him and he was doing this stuff about his family and he was doing a really smart bit about, if you, about how you can, about resentment towards his parents and that later, when they become weaker, you start controlling their lives. You can get revenge on them. And it sounded really like the feelings felt real. Yeah. And that was really engaging. And then he talked about, if you really wanna get back at people that age, give them Bluetooth for presents, like Bluetooth items. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was a great bit. And then he started doing some of that Trump and those issues that, you know, and it's like, I just fell. I just went away. I just went away. And that's how I feel about most people. Yeah, yeah. He's as, I think I said to you, you're as good as anybody while you're talking about your family. Yeah. You're as good as anyone, like really great. And then the other things, you sound like everyone. Right. You sound just like everyone else. Because this thing might take on, you know, everyone's trapped in like four issues for like, since 2016. Yeah. Trump, trans, blood, it's just the same fucking stuff. And here's my take on the woke this. It's just so boring. Yeah. And everyone takes a shot on Twitter and on the podcasts, we all do it. So on stage, it's like, why? Why? You can fashion a great, you know, no one has your family. No one has your voice, you know? It's totally interesting to watch somebody you can tell where they're, you know, where they're coming from ethnically or they're coming from in where they're kind of family they had, that's, I'll listen to that all day. Yeah. Can I ask you? It was awesome. I loved it. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, you don't have to ask first. No. I'm on your show. I know, but can I ask you one? Yeah. Okay. Let me, okay. So I want, no, this is the way, because I want to be real for a second. Sure, I'm listening. Okay, so I've always been obsessed about killing. So I'm not as prolific. Okay. Right? Yeah, I understand that. Yeah, and I haven't changed my, I mean, right now I'm doing a special for Hulu, so I'm trying to come up with new stuff. But my point is, is that I'm so afraid of not killing that I've been, I mean, a fucking rut. I totally. Because of that fear, you know what I mean? And it's like, I know that there's more that I can do. I know that there's more that I can say. And I just don't do it because I hate bombing. You know what I mean? And it's like, I just know that I'm not growing. And I know that, you know what I mean? You're so, you're very prolific. If I can say that. Yes, I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you're one of those comics that like, if you're performing like all the comics will run into the room to watch you. When I perform, they fucking leave. They're fucking fire. They don't leave. They do, they do. The whole background. None of that matters. Fuck the other comedians. That's not your audience. You're not doing this for them. Yeah, who am I doing it for? They're competition and they're colleagues. They're just people that also do what you do. That's not gonna do with them. Yeah. How do I get over this rut, though? What you're describing is a very important thing. And it's a very vulnerable place to be. You know exactly what you have to do. Your problem is your solution's right in front of you. What is it? It's just you gotta get over it. No, in other words, your, I mean, what I'm saying is your way ahead of the game cause a lot of people don't understand what their problem is. Yeah, I totally understand. And that is the basic problem for most comedians because they're afraid of that feeling. I'm not killing. I was raised to kill as a comic. I started in Boston and in Boston, it was like you might get hurt if you don't kill cause the room might get really nasty. Right. And someone might throw shit at you. They might wait for you outside. Like there's a feeling in Boston of like, the bad version of this is fucking bad. And also there was this kind of like this biting spirit there. So I liked it. I was 18 when I started. So I was killing, killing, killing. It took me a long time to realize that this isn't, I still try to untrain myself. There's bits where I'm like that crushes, but it's not making me better. I gotta stop doing it. So it's not only not wanting to bomb. It's also like backing away from the obvious sometimes and just going like, yeah, that bit annihilates. But what are we doing? You know better, yeah. Yeah, it's not, it's no quality to it. There's nothing that's, it's not taking me anywhere new. I mean, all the thing is, the problem with comedians is they take everything very personally and it's a, it's a scientific thing kind of comedy and it's an art. So you should think of the, like privilege the work. What's, what matters is this bit, right? Like I was watching this kid in New York and he was doing bits about the election, the last one. And it had been over for a while. And the bits were strong, but people weren't really into it. And he made some comment on stage like, oh, I guess you guys don't like my politics or something. And I pulled them aside afterwards and I said, it's cause it's an old topic. No one wants to hear about it, old elections. And he said, I know, but this bits were killing. And I don't want to let him go. And what I said to him was, cause he was very young guy. So I said, if you took the two minutes of political material and instead you stood there and did nothing, you'd grow more as a comic. It'd be better for you as a comedian. I think every comedian should try to put, especially in the workout sets and the clubs. At some point have like an alarm go off or some way that you go, I'm gonna do 90 seconds. I got no act. Just 90 seconds of just, of just try to see what happens. If you don't keep coming and coming and coming with it. It's that panic moment of like, I gotta kill right now. If you can just get past it. It's like the sound barrier, you know, with that big explosion. On the other side of the sound barrier is like, there's a calm, you go like, ooh, I got power now. I'm not killing. They're looking at me. This is weird. I'm still here. I'm alive. I can do a bunch of things I couldn't do on the other side of this. Yeah. You could only do one thing when you need it to be kill, kill, kill. But if you get past that, you have like this bunch of other options that you're like, wow, I could do this. They're looking at the room comes alive when you stop getting laughs. It does? Yeah, people start going, what is going on? There's no, cause there's a, ha, ha, it puts you to sleep. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, they're not even listening after a while. You know, if you're doing jokes, ha, ha, joke, ha, you could always do one joke where you go, and then I flap the jet black laps. Ha, ha, ha, it like where you literally make no sense and you'll get, that's why a lot of comics have like 15 tags and they're getting jokes just cause the motor's in motion. They're not funny. Yeah. But you just get, you know what I mean? I mean, it's, I, I, I, You just have to, you're 54, what are you waiting for? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, It's time, it's time, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. It's never too late. Okay. You need to start going on stage and having bad sex. Yeah. You have to. You have to, yeah. You have to, you won't grow. That's it, that's, thank you, you have to. No, you have to, No, no, no, you have to, I do it all the time, every time I go out to start writing a show, I, I struggle, mightily for months. This message is sponsored by Raycon. Raycon's everyday earbuds have become a go-to gift for the holidays. They sound great last all day, and then some with 32 hours of battery life and actually stay comfortable no matter how long you wear them. Four million people already got a pair. So if you've been curious, it's time to try them out right now. For Black Friday and Cyber Monday, you can get up to 30% off all Raycon products. Perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. We have Raycon's in the studio. They are very comfortable. They're very durable because I travel a lot. So I bang them up against stuff. I occasionally leave them in places. They get wet, they get slop all over them, they get food. I'm always eating and throwing stuff on my ears. You know, that's how I do. I like the new colors too. You do. It's a vibe. It's a vibe. Like I like their blush, violet or cool mint. They look like a little bit of jewelry. They're ear jewelry. That's really what it is. Quick charge, 10 minutes gives you 90 minutes of play time up to 32 hours of battery life with the case. And they got awareness mode perfect when you're walking the dog or running errands. So you can stay tuned into what's going on around you without missing one beat. Raycon's going big for Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Everything's up to 30% off. Just click that link in the description and go to buyraycon.com slash bad friends to save on Raycon audio products site wide. Shopify. We have an online business here at Bad Friends and we use Shopify. Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in store and online operations across up to a thousand locations. When we started doing the show, we had so much fan art that we got and we started doing merch with fans and sending it out to you guys. And Shopify streamlined this whole thing and made it so simple and so easy to run our online business. Without them, we'd be falling to pieces because McCone, Carlos and Fancy would be doing all of it and we don't want that. Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient for your customers. Endless aisle, ship to customer, buy online pickup in store, all made simpler so customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close the sale every single time. And let's face it, acquiring new customers is expensive. With Shopify's POS, you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first party data that gives marketing teams a competitive edge. That's right, in fact, it's proven by the way. Shopify, we've been using for a long time and based on a report from EY Businesses on Shopify POSC, real results, 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% up tick in sales on average relative to the market set survey. And you know what you've heard about it. Shopify makes everything so seamless and so wonderful. So turn those what ifs into why nots and keep giving those big dreams the best shot with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash bad friends. Go to Shopify.com slash bad friends that's Shopify.com slash bad friends. My name is Mackenzie and I started to go fund me for the adoptive mother of a nonverbal autistic child. The mother had lost her job because she wasn't able to find adequate care for this autistic child. So she really needed some help with living expenses, paying some back bills. So I launched a GoFundMe to help support them during this crisis. And we raised about $10,000 within just a couple of months. I think that the surprising thing was by telling a clear story and just like really being very clear about what we needed. We had some really generous donations from people who were really moved by the situation that this family was struggling with. GoFundMe is the world's number one fundraising platform trusted by over 200 million people. Start your GoFundMe today at GoFundMe.com. That's GoFundMe.com. GoFundMe.com. This podcast is supported by GoFundMe. And nowhere in time on set you're like, I've lost the room and I have to do a joke that I know it's proven or no, you stay in the- Try not to do that. I do, I'm weak when I do that, but I try to stay in it and just go like, like when I'm developing a new hour, I go to the cellar, I go in, I haven't been in for a while, I do five minutes, maybe just a few jokes I have and then I get off. And next time I do 10, when I get to about 20, then it starts filling in and it starts getting strong. When I have a strong 20, I put it away. I'm like, you can't do these jokes anymore. And I go back in with nothing and I start with another zero, and I go, I'm gonna do a joke that's hard. What's so funny? And then you get- That brave hard joke. Well, I'm gonna do it. Okay. 1996. So I don't do it on the special. He's got a brave hard joke. Yeah. It's funny. It's fresh. Listen, my last special, or one of the last ones I did a joke about good will hunting and it was 20. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you did a whole thing about the Bible. That's fucking old. The Bible's been out for a while. So Louis, I'm gonna make a deal with everyone in this room, okay? Yeah. For my special, I'm gonna, because I've never done a special. Right. So I have to do the things that I've amassed. No, you don't. For my special, it's in two months. Okay, well. I know. But for the next, you know what I mean, thing? Yes, look, do the special in clean house. I'm cleaning house. And then start over. I'm never gonna do those jokes again. That's great. Yeah, I love that. He's gonna clean house the way a hoarder does where they're like, don't really, don't really give it to that. Put that right there. And then. Yeah, I'll throw out one of the four Kermits. I'm keeping the other three Kermits unboxed. I'm gonna tell you why I'm doing it. Sure. Because when I perform, I don't feel good. I feel pain. Yeah, man. Every fucking fat. I get it. I've been there. Yeah, I feel pain. I feel disgusted. When I drive home, I don't feel good. You got, you totally get what's going on. I know. There's something going on. Yes. And it's like when I was younger and I was like bombing and I was like trying new things and going, what's my voice and all that kind of stuff. It was more fun. It was in retrospect, I mean, back then you were struggling. There was no money and getting stage time and all the fucking shit that you have to go through. But still in terms of performing, it felt new. It felt fresh. Jokes that kill our traps. They're prisons. And they keep you from, I mean, you're stuck in these bits. It's horrible. I had the same opening joke for like 10 years or more. And every time I said it, it felt like I was pissing out of my own mouth. I hated it. I hated it so much. Can you tell me what is the joke? Yeah, and it's actually about piss. I hate saying it. Please do it. Yeah, yeah. Oh God, it's so horrible. I mean, it is what it is. It's a joke, but it's about, I live in New York. It was like, New York is the only city where you actually have to say things like, hey, that's mine. Don't piss on it. Yeah, I love that. That's a great joke. I like, yeah, I've heard you do that. It's a fine joke, but do it for 10 years every night. Like it's not. You felt, he's autistic, sorry. Sorry about that. He'll move furniture the whole shit. It's just kind of what he does. When you try new stuff, do you have a button or is it sometimes like just a premise? Yeah, it's a premise. Like I come up with, I'll be walking around and I'll have a thought or in a conversation where I'm like, that's, I know that area is a bit. Right. And I'll write down the premise. Just the words, like two words of what it is. And then I try not to think about it too much till I get on stage. And then I go on stage the next time and I explain it to the first audience and that's how I write it usually. And then it gets refined over time. Once in a while, bits come to me full, like, I don't know where that came from, but just like a joke, like I'll come up with this, I'll think of a sentence and then I'll think of a joke. Cause I do still like jokes, you know? Yeah. So like jokes, I just, they come, they pop in. But bits where you're talking about something, that's the way I do those. You just, you know there's an area, there's something there and you wait. Cause they're listening, there's no better, they're the instrument. So when you're working in the dark, it's like being a composer, they like to have a piano. They like to hear it, you know? Not just sit there and go, this, you know, have it all in their head. When you have an audience, that's your instrument. So they're sitting there waiting and that makes you, that brings it out of you. Like, and it makes you come up with it funny cause that's what you do. Pitch Louis some bits, he's got some new shit. Pitch him some bits. No, no. I'm not doing it now. Yeah, do it. No, no, no, I'm not doing that right now. He's got a couple in the chamber. Come on, tell me one. Tell him one of the new bits. One idea for new bit. Come on. Well, I have a bit that I'm trying to get to work. Look at Louis when you do it. Don't look at Louis. Yeah, I wanna look at you. I wanna look at you, I wanna look at you right now. Sorry, it's for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good for you. Yeah, so I have a bit about like, my dad used to tell wild stories. I don't know if they were true or not, right? Like when I was 14, my dad goes, when I was your age, in Korea, I used to kill wolf. Right, I go, there are wolves in Korea. So many wolves. You mean everywhere wolf, you know? One time wolf attack, I break a leg. Right? I take a stick, pop, pop, in the face. Right. Then a couple of days later, my friend, John brought his corg over to my house. And my dad goes, how old is your wolf? I thought you used to kill dogs? Yeah. But it's a great bit. Yeah, what's wrong with you? It doesn't get a huge laugh on stage. It gets kind of a giggle. It's a great bit. Kee, you gotta do that bit. See? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a great bit. Yeah. Give him another one. No, I don't wanna give him another one. You gotta keep doing it. Yeah. All of every bit I have. I give up. That destroys. Yeah. I started either weak or like pissing people off, but I just keep doing it. And it's like walking to a firing squad and saying, shoot me, it's hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they go, huh, but all these bits are really, there's still a few in my set now, even though I'm doing theaters, that I'm like, I still know I'm not getting what I should be getting with that one. It still feels weak, but I still believe in it. So I'm still, and it keeps changing and changing. So I gotta, because sometimes- You gotta keep doing it. You do that bit over and over again. Okay, that's what it is. Yeah, over and over. Over and over again. Are you doing the bit about how we can mount and dismount an entire race in one? I don't remember. I remember those words. Oh, I love that. I don't remember what the- The way you said that, that stuck out. Mount and dismount. And you're saying the way that we say it, like when you have someone on the fucking news says like- Oh, that, yeah. No, I don't do it anymore. Why, dude? Yeah, I had a whole bunch of stuff about the way people talk in the news. And I had some about Trump and all this stuff. And that stuff I just decided I didn't want. And this may help you. Okay, okay. I was doing- Give him that bit. It's a great- You can have it. You can have it. So I was doing, when I went back on the road, I took a year and a half off of comedy. I was gonna quit. Like I decided I didn't wanna do it anymore. And so it was a really great break because I wasn't like just taking time off. I was like, I'm done. But then I started coming up with ideas, jokes. So I just got full, I wanted to do them. And then I was like, just let's just get back to it. But when I first started going out with this new set, it had these weird bits that are kind of strange. And then this killer chunk about the news and all that stuff. And I was like, where do I put that? That it hurts these other bits. How do they, you know? And then I was at Omaha doing a bunch of shows at the Funny Bone. And one night I was like, what if tonight you don't do, you don't do those bits at all. Just take them out. And I took them out and everything else in the show kind of rose up. And the show just got, cause it had a cohesion to it and it just got better. Like your bit is competing with these other bits. Like it can't follow Braveheart or whatever you're killing. Oh, I see. Yeah. So once you're done with this special, that bit should be like your- No, I'm doing that bit in the special. Okay. It's a new bit. But I mean, these bits will do better, the new ideas. Oh, I see what you're saying. When they have a little feeling. But those, also the bit about the news, Brian Regan did a bit kind of like it. No, not like that. His spin was the way people talk in the news then versus now. And you were saying the way that you'll have an anchor. No, but he did. He did a thing about people saying there was a fire today in Nicaragua. Oh, that's right. Right, right, right, right, right. So I was doing that. It was kind of near it. It was near enough. The phrasing was great. The phrase stuck out of my brain when you go, how did you mount and dismount an entire race in one word? And with one word of your life. I love that, yeah. It was fun to do. I like that bit. And then I did a thing about homeless versus unhoused. The unhoused. But I just don't want to, I'm tired of having clever takes on what's going on in the world. Oh, fuck. I'm tired. Fuck, my whole act is fucked. I have a whole homeless bit. That's just, I have five minutes of homeless. That's just me. Oh my God. His special is literally called clever take on what's going on in the world. Fuck, dude. We gotta check it out. I'm just gonna put the greatest hits out and then the next time I'm gonna grow and it's gonna be, What about the greatest hits? What about you? Where are you at? I just put out a fucking special on you, on Hulu. Which you know, which was, it was a good time for me to put out a special because it was Charlie Kirk got shot anniversary of 9-11 and then they took Jimmy Kimmel off the air and I was like, Put out a special, baby. Boom, drop it right there. It's fucking insane. And Hulu, he's doing it with Hulu too. Is that your first one? That's my, Hulu, that's number one. I did one before, I did one previous. Well, no, I did, technically that's, You've done two on Netflix. No, Showtime then Netflix. Netflix was the first like real, real special. But they took me- Does Hulu have it forever or do you get it back? No, you get it back. Like Netflix too, they took mine down after it was like a licensed. So I might just put it up on YouTube. We were talking about- Yeah, don't worry about it. It's a body of work you're compiling over time. Yeah, so I- So it's got a life on Hulu right now, but I did a special called Hilarious and it was on Epic's. Yeah. Great company, great company. Who cares? Who gives a shit? It doesn't matter. No, I know, it does. All of the, back when I used to, before I started selling them myself, I used to just find who wants this one and it would be like Showtime or one was Epic's, one was this, it just doesn't matter. No. They're all, you're compiling a library. But now you'll sell them yourself forever. You're never gonna go to a thing again. You'll just do just you now, right? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I kind of like to be on a platform just to get more new eyeballs on the work maybe. But I don't know, we'll see. Also plug the book. Yeah, oh yeah. Do you have a copy of the book? No. Dude, this is so funny. You would never read it. I have a library. Oh, you want it just in the, Yeah, I have everyone's thing. Okay. You guys have a copy? They should have sent you one. Yeah, Bobby has a copy. Well, you know, honestly, where's my copy? I literally don't have it. I handed it to you. Yeah, he did hand it to you. Where is it? It's over here somewhere. It's gotta be over here somewhere. It's in this pile of books. Yeah, I have a pile of books over here. Thank you. That's a big one. I'm gonna read it. I'm gonna read it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I mean, you should show it to people, right? Or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a copy of it. Where is the book, by the way? I have a Star Trek, The Next Generation X-Men. I didn't write that. At the Catholic Bible. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know where it is, dude. Bring it up on the fucking, bring it up there. Bring it up on the fucking thing, you know? That's probably, Wait, wait, my favorite thing is him getting mad. It's your book. He gave it to you. I fucking don't remember it. There it is. There it is, baby. Ingram. Ingram. That's my new, I just wrote that. And that's about Rick Ingram from Chris Roxo. What is it about Ingram? It's about a little boy who's kicked out of his house when he was like nine and he's just walking around Texas. And he's alone and life gets really hard for him. Like Chauncey Gardner from being there. Yeah, but he's like much younger. Okay. Yeah. But Chauncey Gardner, the character was young because he had no influence except for television. So he was kind of a child. Sure. Yeah. Well, that's not what this book's about. I know, but when I'm saying, it's not that, you know, me different. Sure. It's about a guy named Chauncey Gardner. Yeah. If that's what you want. It's a little boy, like kind of like Paris, Texas. He's kind of wandering. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know Paris. Hey, why are you doing that? I don't know. Just let him have the book. Yeah. You trying to shoehorn some other fucking story into it? I mean, it's fine. It drives me nuts. Yeah. I wish I was a sound intelligent. It's not working. It's not. Stop it. Yeah. Yeah. Stop it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades bad Stephen King got off doing his reading. Do you know what I mean? Like, I think some of these guys, they love to write, but they're also like, you wanna hear me talk about it? Well, it's weird when you read it because you're faced with what you wrote. Yeah. And you have to read it with all the kids. You can't go like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, I kinda wanted to do a version, like a whole version where I read it like this. Or like, or read it and like, oh, like this or something like a whole, the whole book in falsetto or something. Yeah. So he's walking around the fucking farm. Yeah, he's walking around the farm. But anyway, yeah. But do you read in paragraphs? Like, and then you go cut, you cut it there and go. You can go as far as you can go in one piece and then you keep, and also somebody's there to keep stopping you, cause you fuck up a lot. All right. So you have somebody going, you got that wrong. It's tedious. Like when we did the movie, it's when we did the animated movie. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We did an animated movie. Where you give me notes? Where you give me notes? I give him notes. I do give him notes live. Every line, that's not how you say it. Well, cause I'm like, what? He's like, well, and then you give me scenarios. Imagine this and this and they go, okay, I get it. Well, try to have him say, Fakasha. It's fucking. Fakasha. Yeah. Well, he got it there. Yeah. He's been working on it for like a week. In your face. In your fucking face, dude. Now we play these two little creatures, but we're bouncing a lot. Like we do on the show. We're bouncing. You know, it's like bouncing conversation. And sometimes he'll be. Am I the worst? No, no, no. To be honest. Am I the worst? No, you're wrong. Shut up. No, but he's so good, Yeah. He's reading the characters if it's existing in another space. I'm like, we're doing it. It's you and me. It's you and me. But when I do say that, you do come back and you kill it. Am I wrong? No, thank you. Then we had to go do extra. And I left cause I went separate. And he goes, how long did it take? And I go, dude, it's 40 minutes. You're in and out. Yeah. He called me. He's like, took me too fucking out. I was like, cause I was gone. But you read it before because I haven't read it. So I'm showing up and I'm like, I do not read it before. Oh, so you're good. No, it's just, I just, no, we just work differently. Yeah. That's like a neurological difference. Yeah, it is. I just, I just, yes, yes, it is. I just see things like that. Okay. With lines, with lines, do you have like a memory? Like, can you memorize lines real fast? No, it takes me days. Right. I can see it and do it right. I have this weird trick. I don't know why. I'm so lucky, but I've been someone that just- That's what your brain does. Eat it and throw it. I can throw it right back out. Wow. You know who they said used to do that? That was that Charlie Sheen. I don't know if you saw that documentary. We've talked about it because we love it. They used to say, John Cryer would go, this fucking guy would never rehearse, would be on time on the nose, be unprepared, and then look at it and go, I'm gonna mess up. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. And get an entire two page scene. Incredible. And not even, it's just his brain had that digestion and regurgitation. I used to just need like two rehearsals to know it. Two and then you got it. Yeah, cause I need to, reading it, I'm just not, it's not getting in. Right. But if I wreck through it and kind of do this two takes, then I know it. Cause I lived the scene. Right. So you don't memorize it in the night before? That never did me any good. Me neither. It only stressed me out. Me too. It didn't do me any good. I was always bad at that. If I could do it in the morning, if I read it right before I went there and then I got one run through, I would be like, okay, I understand what I was doing. I understand what I didn't see because. Well, and you do it in pieces. So it's like when you're filming stuff, you just, you only have to worry about this one scene and you do it a bunch of times from all these different angles. And then you throw it away, it's gone. So you only have to worry about one thing at a time when you're filming stuff. Can I tell you my favorite scene from your show that to this day I watch all the time, like over and over. Okay. Is it the art room scene? That's my favorite scene. It's my favorite scene in the whole world. With you and Pam Adlon and the press a button. It says press. It's like favorite scene, dude. I love that. Just speak, here's, let me have, dude. Great scene. And let me ask you something because I get nerded out on those scenes. I'll rewind a scene like. It's Jay, it's Jay, Big Jay O'Criston's voice. If that's what you're gonna say. It is? It is. Big Jay O'Criston, yeah. Hope I'm not getting him in trouble. No, no, no. I mean, I asked him to do it. I said, I wrote him and I said, can you please say this word? For, you know, to choose one like five times into your phone and text it to me and I'll send you a check for a SAG check. That's so great. He said, sure. And he did it and it's in there. On the first take, Pam turns her shoulder and walks away. Yeah, she just like, yeah. But is it, is an organic laugh that you can hear in the audio? I don't think like she laughs as she walks away, but I don't think she meant to laugh. She doesn't really laugh. She kind of goes like, oh, it's like. You can, she goes, okay. I heard her say, okay, she took, did you surprise, was it a surprise when she first heard it or you guys had already? No, we knew what. Oh God, it would have been so fun. No, sorry. I wanted it so bad to be. Like, cause we, cause like there's a scene, there's a scene that I've noted out like this about that I'll loop is in baskets. Yeah. And I know you could tell, he knows the scene, cause I've watched it a hundred fucking times, but Louie is drinking a Gatorade. Yes. Your scene, that scene, it's the exact same comedy feeling in my soul where I go, this is so fun and they knew it was fun. Oh, dude. I remember that day really well because, so when we set up Zach's show, Yeah. we had this meeting, me and him, and I don't remember who else was there, but I started asking him about, we were just trying to decide what the show's about. And like, it was just Zach, a show for Zach. And I was working at FX, I had a show that was successful and I said, I want to make a different, another show. So they're like, all right. And I went to Zach first, cause nobody ever made me laugh that hard, as Zach did. So anyway, when we sat and talked about what his show would be about, this is, we had already made a deal, he's going to have a show. I was like, well, what if you're fam, what if you have family in it? And I, and he, so we're talking about, I said, what's your mother, what about your mother if you had a mother? And he goes, yeah, maybe. And I go, what's your mother really like in real life? And he goes, she's always like, Zach, what are you doing? And I just said, your mother's Louie. And we all laughed. And then there was this pause. And I said, what if we get Louie Anderson to play your mother? And he was like, why does that sound like such a good idea? Like it just was a me, like what a crazy idea. That's how it came about. Cause I was making a flip joke. And then I was like, this is, I enjoyed this part of the work. I was like, I just got on the phone and said, get Louie Anderson on the phone. I don't know him that way. We've met in person a bunch of times. I always liked him, but I didn't have a relationship with him. But I just said, get me Louie Anderson on the phone. And a few minutes later, I got at this call from Louie in his car. And he goes, hi, hi Louie. It's Louie Seeket. Yeah. So I'm making a show for FX in Zach Kalifnakis. This is the star of the show. We're doing a pilot. Okay. And I go, we have a part in this, a substantial part for you. The thing is, we want you to play Zach's mother. And I just hear the sound inside the car. And he goes, I love it. Wow. And it felt like this, we didn't know what he would do. We gave him the job. He, there was no nothing written. And there was no, it was just that day we gave him the job. Wow. We made a deal, right? It was like, no, we're doing that. So I didn't know how I was going to work out. And I didn't know what Zach, so Zach hired John Chrysler. Chrysler? Yeah, Chrysler. What's wrong with me? Please look it up. Jonathan Chrysler. Chrysler. Yeah. Chrysler. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. John and then Chrysler had done this show, Portlandia, which is one of my favorite things ever. It's awesome. And he just had this way of setting up improv, setting up, setting this scene for two characters. He knew how to shoot it, how to get, how to shoot it well and how to just make it happen. So these guys just, I went, I after this one meeting where we talked about everything, I kind of went away and let them make the show. And then I showed up that day. And there's Louis Anderson in a dress. And I'm like, we're really doing this, huh? Wow. And I'm like, I don't know what is the character? What are you guys doing? And I sat and watched them shoot that scene, which just happened. There was nothing to it. They had something to argue about that he doesn't respect his being a clown. Right. And Martha, that was like an introduction from Martha. And then there was this obsession with this Gatorade. And when that moment happened, I remember, I had just arrived a few minutes before with the Gatorade and that hits the spot. I was like, I was like, what do we do? This is incredible. This is incredible. And Louis, and I got to really love Louis. We got to know each other much better. And then he won a fucking Emmy. And it was such a glorious thing that Louis, cause I loved him when I was a young comic and he's such a sweet and good guy. He's open for them. Struggled with his health. You know, it was really sad when he passed away. But yeah, it was one of the happiest moments of my career was him winning an Emmy. Wow. That was such a beautiful thing. Cause the way he did, that character was fantastic. So good. Two seasons, great, fucking great. I did a show on FX called Dave with little Dickie. And when I was on the show, I was like in love with baskets so much. And I was like, hey, I don't want to get paid. Like can I just do anything in the thing? I just was like, I'll do an anything, anything, anything. And they were like, dude, you gotta stop asking. Like cause I kept asking my agent, I was like, just tell him I'll fucking, they were like, they don't want. Does that work if talent asks? No, but they said they were like, they're not. Unusual. Yeah. Cause I've asked so many times, they're like, nah, it's not gonna happen. I was like, I don't even want lines. I just want to be in like a background of the Burger King. I really wanted to be at the Burger King. And I was like, just let me be in the thing. And they're like, they don't want like an actor comic. They were like, they're not looking for that. You're not, you're in the wrong. I was like, I just want to be in the back. Yeah, no, you wouldn't have been right for it. I know, see, that's right. There you go. That's right. He was like, no, you can't do it, dude. So when people go, like my agents try to track projects. Yeah. Like when the crazy rich Asians were happening, like we're tracking this for you. We're putting your name in that pass, you know. And it's like, it never, I couldn't even get an audition at the end of the day. No, yeah, it doesn't. None of that works. No, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it's good if you're trying to be an actor. You go in for a lot of stuff because they remember you. You go, you just do the best version of you at the audition and then you just are memorable. It doesn't matter getting that part, you know? Like if you read something, you're like, that's not my kind of guy and you try to be it, you're going to suck. So you just do a weird, your version of it. Right. And they'll go, that guy was good. He's not, he can't do this, but that guy, and they'll remember, I mean, I've cast a lot of things in my past with people that I've seen in other stuff that I've seen in stuff that I had them cast, you know, come in for. So go in for everything. Go in for everything and do any part you get. I say no so much. Because that's where, you know, agents don't get you work, no. No, they're terrible people. Worthless. I mean, they're just, they're terrible people. They're terrible people. Absolutely worthless people. Some of the worst ever. They give some of the worst advice, they're snakes, they've set you up for something and then when it goes bad, they're not there to back you up. They're the worst. I think they're just, they're just. Terrible pigs. They're out of, they're out of their depth a little or they're not in the wrong business. I hate them, they're on the backs of us, they stink. I can't wait to fire mine. We're done with the business forever anyway. Whoa, dude. Why would you be done with the business? Fuck us, we're out, dude. We're out. We're the last show in Hollywood. This is it, I think we're the last. Yeah, it's over. It's dying, it's dying. Yeah, that's a shame. You do a movie. And the book, by the way, is available literally everywhere. Please go, please buy. Yeah, it's like you can pre-order it now on all the things, all the things. All the things. And it'll be out November 11th. November 11th, Ingram. That's my first novel. It was the first one. Yeah, I wrote another one after that I still working on. I mean, I finished a draft of it. Did you get like a book deal where they give you a two book deal? You know what they do this thing, it's a weird, they're like, give them a deal and then they, then they make people write another book even if they didn't want it. No, no, I didn't get any kind of deal like that. I just wrote this one. Good. See what would happen and I sent it out and this company, Ben Bella in Texas is publishing it. It's just a little company. Ben Bella. Ben Bella Book. Did you find them, they found you. I got a book agent and he's a really smart guy and he found them. He'd worked with them on other stuff. They don't do much fiction. Ah, wow. But it's distributed by Simon and Schuster so that's who sells it. Ooh. I didn't get a book deal from them. Okay. It's like I just, I haven't been paid anything. I just wrote it and they're putting it out. We'll see what we make together. But I don't have an advance or anything. That's a good deal. We'll see what we make together. I like it that way. I don't like the thing of like, like when I book on the road and stuff, agents like to get advances because they sound, you know. Hey, we got you the money. Yeah. But all you're doing is bent against yourself. And like the last thing you want to do is like, take a bunch of money from somebody and then you didn't do well and then you're like, ha ha, you know. One of the people to remember is for to have a good experience of you. So. Yeah. Cause you're a big crowd work guy Clips. You started crowd work Clips. Can you imagine? Yeah. Yeah. That was my innovation. That was, that was Louis. Big crowd work Clips guy. You were the first on TikTok to do it as far as I'm concerned. That's right. I saw most of your videos. I just saw it. I saw it as a new way. And here I am. Thank God. I would love to see it. Does that know you like these crowd work guys doing clips on TikTok? I mean, it's the, they got what they got from it. Yeah. It's fine. It's all part of the thing. It's fine. It works for them. Good for them. Yeah. I don't care. I don't, as a, I love standup. I don't enjoy watching that. Yeah. Also, when I see friends of mine do it, it's like you're killing in the moment but no one's going to remember it. Yeah. Right. And you're not building anything. That's, but I have a different goal than them. They just want to run their numbers up and they want to get whatever. Yeah. And also a lot of people please them a lot. People like it. Yeah. So if an audience, if someone's enjoying it, they're right. Yes. And the person who doesn't like it is just, it's none of their business. If you don't like something, it's none of your business. As long as somebody likes it. If nobody likes it forever, someone needs to talk to them. But you know what? If literally no one ever liked a comic ever doing anything, that'd be pretty fucking incredible. I don't want to see this. That is cool. David Tell had this, I don't think he ever did it more than once that I saw. He said, if you tell somebody you have a small penis, if you tell a woman you have a small penis, she won't be interested. But if you tell her you have the smallest penis in the whole world, she's going to want it. See. Yeah. He's one of my favorites. Great. Unbelievable that guy. Yep. Who's the guy that you, that you really have like a comedy crush on that you're like, oh, I love the fucking way that that person works. These days? Yeah. I mean, that used to be Zach for me. I used to put my head on the table and cry. Yeah. Todd Glass has always made me laugh like that. So funny. Just fucking destroys me. Yeah. Jim Norton, who I've been working with lately, just also really kills me. Yeah. There's a lot of guys I really love. But that kind of like, I can't believe it. Yeah. Todd Glass, I mean, I don't know if it's okay to do other people's bits, but I'm. As she just said, it's Todd's bit. I'm naming him. Yeah. Should we call him? We'll get approval. Yeah. He did this thing about the lady next to him on an airplane. It has Reese's cups and she's taken one out and she looks at him looking at him and she goes, do you want one? And he goes, I want both. And he did some clip. I don't know if you can find it, but it was during the pandemic, he did some fake commercial, I think, on maybe Instagram or something, where he's showing you how you can pee outside. But he puts just a bag, like a shopping, like a plastic bag over his head and he just stands near a bush and he just starts pissing his pants. It's completely fucking nuts. So he, and I haven't seen him for a long time, but he's always been a guy that destroys me. We love him. Yeah. He was doing a bunch of fake cop bits that were very funny. Do you remember that little run he had for a while of like getting fake pulled over? He used to do a bit with breakaway glass bottles, like fantasy of like breaking. So he'd be, it's him walking down the street with like a beer bottle and there's some teenage girls and one of them gives him like a typical teenage girl like, ew. Yeah. fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades fades Not gonna, but it doesn't matter. Five! Five people! Yeah. Guys, please, please go purchase Ingram right now. Yeah. Louis's first book, it would mean a lot to him. He asked us for a loan before the show. We were a little concerned. I'm being real. I mean, I, Dude, I'm just- Thanks for being on the show, man. I appreciate it. No, no, no. That's it. Thank you so much. Go ahead, do your gay bit. Do your little- I forget it for you. No, I just think, I'm just a huge fan, dude. Thanks. I really am. I just think you're so great. Thank you. Well, you make a laugh a lot. Thank you, thank you. But, But, But, Just having you on here was just a fucking great. Thanks, man. Dude, why can't I? Yeah, dude, he's the best living comic. Yeah, yeah, okay. Why can't I? Shut the fuck up. Shut up. All right, no, no. Thank you for being a bad friend. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. own life experience. And I wanted to share another experience that I've had, my secret behind monetizing my show. It's called Red Circle. And I was just telling my colleague about how much I love their platform. With Red Circle, not only am I getting a seamless hosting experience, but I also love the support I receive in ad sales. It's not just typical ad sales either. It's targeted opportunities based on my show and my life. And the platform is super simple. You just set your preferences and Red Circle matches you with sponsors that align with your show. You can vet every opportunity and their platform gives you great analytics. More recently too, my Red Circle team has brought me opportunities outside of my podcast on social media to really augment the podcast partnerships, bring them full circle. I just can't recommend them enough. If you want to give it a try, go to RedCircle.com to get your free trial. That's RedCircle.com for a free trial.