No Good Deed Goes Unpunished 7-12-26

3 min

•Jul 12, 20266 days ago

Summary

Scott Becker discusses the frustration of doing favors for others—whether hiring interns, making job introductions, or setting up dates—only to have recipients complain or express ingratitude. He emphasizes that when someone does you a favor, the appropriate response is simply to say thank you and move on, rather than critique the opportunity or person involved.

Insights

Gratitude without conditions is essential in professional and personal relationships; recipients of favors should accept them graciously rather than critique them
Doing favors creates ongoing relationship capital, but only if the recipient responds with appreciation rather than complaint or entitlement
Unsolicited criticism of opportunities or introductions damages the relationship with the person who provided them and reduces likelihood of future help
Professional favors (like hiring interns) should be treated as gifts, not as starting points for negotiation or complaint about fit or suitability

Trends

Workplace culture shift toward entitlement rather than gratitude in professional relationshipsErosion of social reciprocity norms in business networking and mentorshipGenerational differences in how opportunities and introductions are received and acknowledged

Topics

Professional networking etiquette Workplace favors and relationship management Gratitude and reciprocity in business Intern hiring and mentorship Job introductions and career opportunities Relationship capital and trust building Ungrateful behavior in professional contexts

People

Scott Becker

Host discussing personal experiences with favors and ingratitude in professional and personal relationships

Quotes

"Just say thank you because the person who introduced you or the person who gave your kid a job or did whatever will do it again. We'll help you if you're not a bitch about it and nasty about it."

Scott Becker

"I was giving your child an opportunity to improve the resume, to learn a little bit. We hired her solely as a favor for your parents or grandparents. So just say thank you and walk away."

Scott Becker

"The notion is just say thank you when somebody does you a favor and shut the heck up."

Scott Becker

Full Transcript

This is Scott Becker with the Becker Business and the Becker Private Equity Podcast. Today's discussion is no good deed goes unpunished. And all of us live in this world where we do a favor for somebody, we try and make an introduction for somebody, we try and help somebody. It's somehow or another, the person who we do the favor for doesn't just say thank you, but gives you some sort of like garbage about it. And I'll give you a few different examples of this. The most significant example over the years is we at one of the companies I work with don't really hire interns, but we'll hire interns as a relationship favor. We did a favor years ago. Somebody's grandparents asked me, can you give our child, in this case, a son, a job for the summer? And I'm like, of course, would love to. Then I got to figure out how to do this. And this was a long time ago when it wasn't putting such an imposition on the rest of my people, but on us. And so give the person a job for the summer, did a nice enough job. And, you know, for the next 15 years, I get from one of the adults in the family, oh, that wasn't really the right place for her. She's really above that. She wants to do this, wants to do this. He wants this, wants to do that. And I'm like, what don't you get about the fact that I was giving your child an opportunity to improve the resume, to learn a little bit We hired her solely as a favor for your parents or grandparents So just say thank you and walk away It reminds me of 100 years ago when I was a young person in my 20s and we periodically fix up a friend with a girl, fix up a girl with a guy. And rather than just saying thank you, the person would ask 50 questions about the girl or guy and then be like, oh, I'm not sure if I really like her it didn't go great. I'm like, oh my God, I'm going out of my way to fix you up with the person. Okay. If you like her or not, or like him or not, just say thank you and move on. It's simply like when you introduce somebody for a job or an opportunity or an introduction and they sort of, you know, turn their nose up at it. Let me tell you, just say thank you because the person who introduced you or the person who gave your kid a job or did whatever will do it again. We'll help you if you're not a bitch about it and nasty about it. And when I use the term bitch, I am often and almost always referring to my male friends that were whining about getting introduced to a woman they didn't like or about a job or an introduction they didn't think was worthwhile, that those friends of mine, those friends of mine were being a bitch. And I hope that doesn't offend people. We hope people enjoy this. In any event, thank you for listening to the Becker Business and the Becker Private Equity Podcast. We hope you enjoy this train of thought, these thoughts. You know, again, the notion is just say thank you when somebody does you a favor and shut the heck up. Thank you for listening to the Becker Business and the Becker Private Equity Podcast.