988. Q&AF: Getting Your Spark Back, Efficiency In Business & Dealing With Immature Coworkers

Yeah went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold bad booty swole Got her own bank roll can't fold just a no head shot case close.

0:02

What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella. And this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. You can submit your questions a number of different ways. DJ is going to tell you how.

0:16

Yeah, guys. You can email these questions into askandyforcella.com you can also submit your questions using the link in the description below and submit your questions for a chance to be answered on the show. You can also drop them in the comments section of the Q and A videos on Andy for seller motivation on YouTube.

0:34

Yep. Don't forget we did switch the the Q and A Fs and the real talks and everything over to Andy for selling motivation on YouTube. So go over there. Click subscribe. This is your first time joining. We have shows within the show. We have CTI Live. That's going to be tonight at 7 Central and also Thursday night at 7 Central. This is where we talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate, we talk about what we need to do to solve them and we have a good time doing it. Other times we're going to have real talk. Real talk. Just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. 75 hard verses is where people who have completed 75 hard come on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they used the 75 Hard program to transform their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the live hard program which you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. It is the world's most popular, most famous ever mental transformation program. You get it for free at episode 208. There's also a book on my website, andyversella.com called the Book on Mental Toughness. It's a great book. It has the entire program inside plus a whole bunch of other information on mental toughness, how to cultivate it, how to use it to become the person that you know you could and should be with. All that being said, we do have a fee for the show. The fee is very simple. Help us grow the show. All Right. We don't run ads on the show. We don't fill your feed full of bullshit, all right? We put a lot of effort into the show. We give a lot of valuable information for free. Do us a solid, man, and help us grow the show. Okay? Don't be a hoe.

0:53

Share the show.

2:33

All right. What's up, man?

2:35

What's going on, dude? You had to take a deep breath.

2:36

I mean, what's up?

2:39

You good? That was a deep sigh, huh?

2:40

I mean, that's a lot. That's a. That's a mouthful.

2:42

That was a mouthful.

2:44

Yeah.

2:45

Yeah, man. What's going on though, man?

2:47

Nothing. It's cold. Yeah, it's cold, but sunny.

2:49

It is cold.

2:52

I'll take that, though.

2:53

Yeah, it's not bad.

2:53

I just went out and did my cardio and, you know, I was a little. Little cold. But if the sun, man. Yeah, sun is so good.

2:54

It's everything.

3:02

It is.

3:03

It's everything.

3:03

I do not mind it being cold at all. If the sun is out. I don't even care how cold it is.

3:04

Yeah, but then I'm like. But like, why is it cold, though?

3:09

Yeah, it's like a weird thing.

3:11

You know what I'm saying?

3:12

Yeah, but like, other places, like, like, dude, you know mountain regions, like Colorado, right?

3:13

It didn't feel cold.

3:18

Well, yeah, they have 300 days of sunshine, bro. So they're used to it being cold and sunny all the time. And they don't, you know, necessarily understand, like here in the regular armpit, you know, the middle, the back of the winter, the winter time sucks. And, you know, we got a beautiful spring, a beautiful fall and a great summer, but winter here is just terrible.

3:20

The back of the knee and it's.

3:44

Terrible because of the sun. The sun just doesn't shine on Missouri in the middle of the winter.

3:45

Lack thereof.

3:50

I don't know what that is.

3:51

Yeah, dude, it's gay.

3:52

It's oppressive.

3:53

That's right.

3:55

It hates us.

3:55

That's right. No, man. Dude, doing good, man. We had the 1P banquet.

3:56

Yeah.

3:59

I got my five year boots. Thank you. Yeah, I'll be honest, like, I was really surprised when Aaron fucking texted me that. Yeah, I was not expecting it. Like, was not expecting it. And I'm like, dude, this is fucking sick, man.

4:00

A lot of the guys here got him. Yeah, the whole team got him. Yeah, Joe got him. Keith got him.

4:12

Madot's already had some.

4:18

Madot has his. Joe Gilman's got his. Coming soon. How long been here? Three.

4:20

No, four. Like two, bro. Yeah, lost track. It's been like a year. He's. He's still the fng.

4:25

No, he's been here, I think, in three or four years.

4:32

It made me think, though.

4:35

Like, I mean, you know what, though? I was nervous when we were on the stage, bro, because that stage was dipping like, it was like bowed. And I was like, dude, this is going to be on YouTube. The good thing, this is going to go viral.

4:36

Well, here's a good thing. They couldn't blame it on us because.

4:48

We were on the side, bro. Listen, I am not lying. I stood on the side for that reason.

4:50

For that reason, yes.

4:55

Because I was like, dude, if this goes, I can at least like, jump off.

4:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it made me think. I mean, like, dude, the five year boot, like that concept, that's a really dope concept. Like, how, like, how did that come to, like, fruition?

5:00

I think that was a Sal idea.

5:11

Yeah.

5:13

You know, we, we. We used to have this guy come to the office and custom make boots. Yeah. And we ordered like three or four pair each over the years. And then one year, you know, Sal was like, hey, let's. Let's do. For all the people who've been here five years. And that's kind of how it started. I think it started back like 2000. 17 or 18.

5:13

It's sick.

5:36

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's cool, man. And so we have these guys who come in and they, you know, they, they take a mold or you, you know the process. You take a mold of your foot.

5:37

They like, true custom.

5:47

Yeah, it's true.

5:48

I put those boots on last night.

5:49

I bet they're perfect.

5:50

Felt perfect. Yeah, like, I mean, like.

5:52

Yeah, yeah. There, there's nothing better than a custom made pair of boots. Yeah, they are perfect.

5:54

Yep.

6:03

You know, and everybody's like, why do you always wear boots? It's like, bro, legitimately, it's the most comfortable thing I have for sure.

6:04

I don't feel like there's gonna be a break in period. There's not like.

6:10

But they do get. They, they do break in over years. Like, some of my boots, like those snakeskin boots that I wear all the time, I've had them for 10 years.

6:13

Shit.

6:20

You know, they're. I wear them because they're fucking comfortable. And then those. And then that. The brown Cayman bellies, I have those and I bought those. Those were. I bought my dad a pair. And Sal, my dad and I all have the exact same pair of those. It's got our initials in it. It's pretty cool, but that's sick. That's the ones I was wearing last night. Yeah. Yeah, but, yeah, man, they get. Once they get really broken in, dude, it's. It's hard to wear anything else. I used to wear, like, a lot of Chucks. I haven't worn Chucks in probably five years.

6:20

Do Chucks, dude?

6:50

Yeah.

6:51

Feet too wide.

6:51

Well, they have them with the insoles. Oh. And they're a little better, but just. Dude, I can't do it. And now I'm to the point where I don't even wear dress shoes anymore. I wear boots with my dress, with my tux or with my suits or whatever. Yeah, you know, I think it's a cool look.

6:52

No, for sure. Yeah, it's all right. No, I mean, dude, it's just cool, right? Because where most places, you know, they celebrate their five years, like, they give.

7:07

Them a fucking keychain.

7:14

There's a pizza party, you know I'm saying, like, get a badass pair of boots, dude. It's really, really.

7:15

Oh, yeah, those are not cheap, dude.

7:20

I bet.

7:22

I mean, those. Every single pair of those boots is two, three grand minimum.

7:22

That's crazy, dude. That's crazy, man. Yeah. Fucking awesome though, man. Yeah. So I'm on a high, guys. I'm, you know, new boot, goofing.

7:26

Did you wear. Do you wear them around the house?

7:33

Yeah, my underwear.

7:35

Yeah, I want to see that picture, Alex.

7:36

Yeah, no, dude, it's great, you know, Sipping on a little Orange Fury.

7:41

Yeah.

7:46

You know, and I got some good ones.

7:46

Yeah, some. Dude, an operator standard today was like, is. Is the. Is the paradise punch really as good as Andy says or is he in sales mode? I'm like, yeah, dude, I lie to you guys all the time.

7:49

Yeah, right? This was a favorite.

7:59

Yeah, like, what the. The shit's amazing.

8:01

No, dude, it actually is.

8:04

I've been drinking the Paradise Punch non stop, dude. Yeah, you too.

8:05

I'm trying to get a case. I'm gonna. I see a few cases around, I'm gonna steal somebody.

8:08

Well, I had a whole case over here, but somebody drank them all. Yeah, and I think his name was dj.

8:12

No, no, I've had two out of those. That was a 12 pack. I had two.

8:16

That is.

8:20

Oh, it's accurate.

8:21

That that is. That is black.

8:23

Yeah. How many beers have you had to.

8:25

Yeah, yeah, no, that's hillbilly math there, bro.

8:29

Same thing, you know, Same thing.

8:35

Hillbilly bath is. Redneck bath is. You had anything to drink tonight? No. Well, I had two, you know, What? And then you're going to jail.

8:39

Like, dude, it is what it is. How many bikes you still. Yeah.

8:53

Like, you're sitting there and you're like, does he know? Can he tell? He could tell.

8:56

Yeah. I wonder where that came from. Like, where was.

9:02

Like.

9:04

Okay, Like, I can't say one because I'm clearly lying.

9:04

Yeah.

9:06

But, like, three is, like, too many, right? So, like, okay, two.

9:06

Yeah. Or then they pull the other one, you know, a couple hours ago. Yeah, right.

9:09

That's right. That's right. 10 minutes ago. So it's a great day.

9:14

Beautiful.

9:20

We got sun shining. Beautiful Monday for you guys listening. And I got some good ones for you. All right, let's knock these out. Let's do it, guys. Andy, question number one. Andy, what's up, dude? I'm 35. I'm married, two kids, and my life is basically a calendar. Work, practices, bills, repeat, Nothing's on fire. But I can't remember the last time I felt excited about anything. I don't want to blow my life up, but I also don't want to wake up at 50 and realize I just survived instead of lived. How do you get a spark back without being selfish or irresponsible? Oh, man, that's interesting.

9:20

What do you say? He was married and.

10:03

Yeah, 35, married, two kids. Everything's good. Nothing's on fire.

10:04

Yeah. So there's. There's a lot there. Okay. I think it's natural for men and women at a certain point, you know, once they've kind of become the version of society that they're supposed to become, they start questioning, is this what I was supposed to do? And I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it's just a natural thing.

10:07

Okay.

10:34

And, you know, they call it a. They call it, you know, midlife crisis or whatever. And I think, you know, anybody with ambitions or dreams or outcomes in their mind that haven't been met tend to have this reflection period. Sometimes it comes later, sometimes it comes earlier. You know, for me, it happened when I was, like, 41, 42, 43. And it was hard because you start to, like, feel like, man, did I waste my life or did I? What did I miss out on? And the problem with that is that when you don't come to terms with what you've done and the path that you've chosen, you end up in this situation where you're looking at all these other possibilities again as to how you live your life. And if you don't check yourself and recommit to the path that you've chosen and say, hey, I chose this path. This is a path that I'm on. Yes, I can make some changes if I want to, but this is who I chose to be. What ends up happening is you end up, like, especially with the Internet, you end up fantasizing about these other outcomes that could be. Which keeps you from appreciating what you have.

10:35

The sure could have would us.

11:49

Yeah. And a lot of people get stuck in that with the Internet because, you know, not just everybody likes to say, oh, you're comparing yourself. Well, no, it's not just that. It's like, man, you know, like, for me, dude, like, I look at. I do this, okay. I look at other things I could be doing all the time. I'm like, man, you know, I could go move to Italy. Yeah. You know, I could go get a ranch in. In Montana. I could buy a big farm in Tennessee. And I start to think about all these things. And when I get too wrapped up in thinking about those things, I really lose a lot of gratitude for what I've got going on. Right. And so it's very important to.

11:50

I.

12:40

Guess, go through this process that you're going through in a way that you have gratitude for what you have and what you've done, because you've done a great job, dude. You're 35, you're married, you've got kids. You're going to raise the next generation, which, by the way, is a very important job. Okay. It's very, very important. You know, I was thinking about this as I was doing my cardio today. You know, I don't have any kids, but, like, part of me is like, man, maybe I should, like, go, like, donate my sperm to everybody and. And, you know, like, put a bunch out there. You know what I'm saying? Like, because, like, you start to think, like, man, we're really getting our ass kicked in culture. You know what I mean? And the. The best people are choosing to not have kids because they don't want their kids to grow up, which is forcing the culture into a worse spot.

12:40

It's kind of intuitive.

13:33

Yeah. So the most important job that can be had right now is really just great parents that are going to have kids and raise them properly to be good, upstanding, productive members of the community. But with that being said, dude, you know, you asked how to. How to recenter. Is that what he said?

13:34

How to kind of get a spark, I guess.

13:55

Yeah.

13:57

You know, most people don't. Most people, I guess in this Prize. They go buy the sports car or some shit like that.

13:57

But, you know. But, dude, you know what? There's. There's value in that, okay? A lot of people on that. Yeah, but there's value in picking up a new hobby or picking up a new, you know, a new thing. Sometimes it's cars. You know, people say, oh, you're going through midlife crisis. Not. Maybe they're just trying to pick up something new that gets them excited. For me, like, one of my commitments that I made to myself this year that I haven't voiced to anybody except a couple guys here at HQ is I want to get back into riding dirt bikes, okay? Because I don't do anything other than work, all right? Like, I go home and I work on work at home. I come to work and I work, and, you know, I'm starting to realize, hey, man, you know, Andy, you need to do some shit. You need to have some fun, man. Yeah. And one thing I do like being around is, like, anything motorized. I like being around animals. I like being around tractors and cars and motorcycles, and I want to do more of those things. And that doesn't have to take away from what I'm doing in terms of my professional life. But making time for those things is important to feeling like you don't just work and you don't just do the thing, you know, And. And I don't talk about this a lot because a lot of people hear what I just said, and what they hear is, man, you know what? I should just go have fun and everything else. And that's not what I'm saying, you know? And it's why I don't talk about luck. Does luck exist? Sure, there's luck. There's. There is luck. But if I'm out here talking about luck, and there's things that people just hear that, and they say, oh, well, there's no chance for me because I don't get lucky. You know what I mean? So it's. It is. There's an effective. And I hate this word. There is an effective balance to feeling like you're not just working your life away. And part of having a successful life is also having fun. Yeah. Okay. We aren't designed to work our lives away, but we're also not designed to try, quote, unquote, have fun every single day.

14:02

Right?

16:10

Right. Because then we run into a situation where we don't have a purpose. Funny enough, dude, I was talking to Dan Bilzerian about this. He called me out of the blue last week. I told you about this, I think. Yeah, I haven't talked to him. You know, I've known dan for probably 10 years, and I don't talk to him often, but I. But when we talk, they're amazing conversations. And he's way more intelligent than people think he is. And we were talking about, like, you know, he's gotten away from the hedonistic lifestyle and the materialism lifestyle, and he made some really good points. You know, once you. Once you experience too much of something, it loses its fun, it loses its value. And, you know, when. When people do that, we see a lot of wealthy people go down that path, right? They. They, they. They go into a life of excess. And then, you know, eventually we hear about him, right? Oh, what happened to that guy? Oh, well, he got depressed and he killed himself. Well, yeah, because he gave up his purpose, okay? And humans need things to work for and work towards, and we need a bigger purpose that is outside of ourselves. And we need to do things like that make us happy. And if we're being real about what makes us happy, what makes most people happy is very simple things. It's spending time with their friends. It's doing good things for other people, you know, and if you're financially successful, you can do a lot more of those things, right? But you don't want to do so much of those things that it becomes your entire life, because then you don't have the purpose that gets you up in the morning, right? So I went through this as well. For me, it was really like, I. I tell a story, you know, I got pneumonia. It was like 2014. And I went through this phase where at that time, you know, I was making the most money I'd ever made, and I was super sick. I couldn't go to work. And it was. I missed, like, 17 days of work, which I had never done before. And I was checking my phone and, you know, everything's still running, and I'm still making money and I'm doing good, and I'm this and that. And it dawned on me, like, because I was miserable, dude. I'm sitting at home, I'm watching tv, I'm, like, rotting on the couch. And I started realizing, like, man, this must be why these rich people kill themselves. And it kind of, like, all came together for me in terms of having a bigger purpose. And I think. I think a lot of times when people get frustrated with their lives where they are, it's because they don't have a clear definition of what their purpose is, you know, and we Are purpose driven people humans? So, you know, I would ask if you were sitting in front of me right now, I say, okay, well, what is your, what are you doing? Like, what's your big picture goal? What is your purpose? And that has to be continuing, continued to be expanded over the course of your life to the point where, you know, for me, when I started, right, my purpose was I needed to make money because I was broke. That was my purpose. Okay. Then it expanded to I need to build the company to the point where the people who work here can provide for their families. Then it expanded to I need to fix these problems, you know, in the culture. Then it expanded to what we're talking about now, where we have a big human problem that needs to be fixed that probably I'll never actually be able to fix. But I know that we can make big dents in it, and that purpose matters a lot. So we have to define what our purpose is over and over and over and redefine it if we want to continue to keep that spark. Does that make sense?

16:11

Absolutely.

19:58

So, so when you were 20 years old, this guy here, you know, one of your goals was probably, I want to get married, I want to have kids, I want to get a good job, I want to make a little money. And you've probably done those things and you haven't redefined your purpose. And a lot of people get to the point where they're 35 years old and they're in a position of this guy and they're like, oh, well, my life is pretty much over. And, you know, they spend the next 50 years being fucking miserable. So it's very important as human beings to continue to evolve and expand and think about what it is we're trying to do that is outside of ourselves. And that can help a lot getting, getting the spark going. And especially when it's really big, because, you know, you can never, if you can never really accomplish it, that means you've got a big fucking goal ahead of it. And if you really care about it, you know, accomplishing it isn't necessarily the reward. It's making as much progress toward that as you can, 100%. And so I, you know, and then like I said, you know, introducing new hobbies, things that you enjoy, maybe getting back to some things that you did before that you enjoyed. Because when you're highly ambitious and you're driven, it can be very easy to let the things that we actually like fall by the wayside so long that we actually forget what we, what we like. So you know, I think what you're going through here is a natural thing. I think it's a normal thing. And the only thing that's going to come of it in a bad way is if you don't, you know, realize, like, Damn, I'm only 35, you know, not, oh, I'm 35 and my life is, bro, 35. Like, I'd kill to be 35 again. You know what I'm saying? Like, you are so young and you have so much shit ahead of you, and you have to realize that. And when you surround yourself with, like, the people that you grew up with, you know, most of those people have given up. Most of those people say, oh, well, this is what it is, and they're going to spend the rest of their life sitting on a cooler in their driveway with their neighbors, you know, drinking beers or whatever it is they do and really not do much else. And if you're around those people and that's who you surround yourself with, you're all going to be miserable together, you know.

19:58

So I want to circle back to something you said earlier, you know, about, you know, a decision you had kind of made personally about doing more things, having more quote, unquote, fun, right? And it made me thinking, and please correct me if I'm wrong.

22:16

Right?

22:29

But, like, I know we've talked and, you know, you're big on gaining new skills, sharpening your tool belt, right? And with those skills, efficiency comes, Right. You can do things quicker, make moves better. Right. And smarter. Because I feel like the nuance here, right. People are going to listen to that. Okay, cool. Andy said that. Go have fun, right? You're in a position where over the last years of your life, you've been able to take that extra time that you had and reinvest that back into more skills, right? You now can do where, you know, because you've become more efficient. You can take that time and go do that. You have the. The privilege. Yeah, to go do that.

22:29

Right.

23:05

I think it's very important to, like, kind of make sure people. There's a difference here.

23:05

Yeah, right.

23:08

If you ain't got the time.

23:09

Well, I mean, look, this is also why, like, the powerless system is so important, because people don't understand that if you are effective on a daily basis, you actually end up with much more free time. Okay? The reason that people feel anxious and depressed and frustrated is typically because they're not organized and effective on a daily basis. So they have these open loops that are happening that are the things that they know need to be addressed. And they're, you know, tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month, and they're always thinking about these things and it ends up paralyzing them today, which ends up making the problems bigger and, and harder to address. And if you just redefine what a win actually is, meaning if you win today, you get your five critical tasks done, you've got time to have fun right now, you can enjoy those things along with being productive, right? And, and you can avoid this idea of like all this other shit that needs to get done because you understand that winning is a 24 hour game. And these things that, you know, when you start to get confident that I am winning my days, you start to understand that all these things are going to naturally take care of themselves because of the process that I'm following now. So there's actually a really, the, the truth of the matter is the more effective you are, the more free time you have and the more fun that you get to enjoy along the way. It's the people who, you know, we have a problem in society, right? A big problem. There's so many people out here that want to pretend to be successful. They want to talk about what they're going to do. They want to, they want to, you know, get the dopamine and the claps and the credit before they ever do anything. And this creates a scenario where nothing ever gets done. They never have any fun because they always feel like they're behind, but yet they're always talking about all these things that they're doing. But, but the world can see, right? You're not changing, right? You're, you're right, you're just talking about change. And it's really easy to get caught up in the idea of I'm a very productive human when you're not. Yeah, I'm doing it right? And, and dude, if you were doing it, your life would look different. That's the truth. And, and to me personally, there's nothing more annoying than that human. The most annoying fucking human on the planet to me is the one who continues to talk about and try to pretends that they're about all this shit, but never changes.

23:10

Nothing changes.

25:48

Never, never, never, never. Like, like, dude, you know, we get people sometimes that are like talking about how hard they're working on 75 hard. Bro, if you're working hard on 75 hard, your face wouldn't look like you just fucking went to the bar last night. You know what I'm saying? Like, you wouldn't be Fudgeing fat. You wouldn't be overweight. You wouldn't be. You're. You're. You would be doing it, and it would be visible. And those types of people who continuously talk about and then pretend that they're doing but the results never show are the most miserable because they know. They. Yeah, they know. And they know that within that process, they're not actually executing, but they want to be around the people who are executing, and nothing ever changes for them, which ends up making them miserable. You see what I'm saying?

25:49

Absolutely, dude. Well, the thing is. Because that works for a minute, right? Like, it works for a minute, like, all right, cool. I hear you. But, bro, it's been a year.

26:38

Yeah.

26:45

What's changed?

26:45

Yeah, well, you know, like I said, some people want to talk about winning, other people want to actually win. There's a big difference between the two. A big difference between the two. You're not a killer because you went out in the snow one time and did your cardio. Like, that's just what the. You had to do, right? And there's a big difference between the basic. That has to be done and conquering the world. You know what I mean? So. And I understand, like, in the beginning, those are going to feel like massive wins, and. And they should. But you. You got to let go of the idea of who the you were, okay? You're not going to go through 75 days to try and change your whole life to move as far away from this version of yourself that you hate. And you're going to do all this work, and then on day 76, you're going to go back to drinking and eating like you didn't. You didn't do it. If you had done it, you'd be so terrified of going back to that version of yourself that you would just continue down the path. You see what I'm saying? So you have to let go of. Of who the fuck you used to be, okay? There is no going back to living in the bar on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. There is no going back to sitting in the. In the bar all day on Sunday watching NFL football. These are things I used to do, so I'm using them as examples. There's no going back, you know, and you have to kill that previous version of who the you are if you want to continue to not just win, but also feel great about winning and. And feel good about yourself. Why the would you want to go back to the version of you that made you so miserable that you felt like you needed to take this big. This big change. If you actually were that miserable, you wouldn't go back to it. You see what I'm saying? So there's people got to be real with themselves, dude. Like, are you really doing the work? Are you actually executing? Are you actually doing your critical tasks as critical tasks, or are you filling in to do so you could check off the win and feel good about it? These are important things that make a big difference. You know, they're. And. And the funny thing is, is the difference between someone who actually wins and someone who doesn't is like, almost zero effort. It's almost zero extra effort. It's. It's. It's like the criminal mentality. Like criminals will do every fucking thing they can to win outside the boundaries of the law.

26:46

Right?

29:21

Right. But if they just take that. That. A little bit of extra effort, most of those people become very successful within the boundaries of the law. You see what I'm saying?

29:21

Absolutely, dude.

29:32

So it's. It's. It's very frustrating because it's just like, dude, especially where I sit, where I've been dealing in personal development for 15 years at the highest level, like, I see you. I see what you're doing. You're not fooling me. I see it. I see you're not actually doing it. You know what I mean? And they think that because they're going through the motions that they're part of the club.

29:33

Yeah, right.

29:59

You know, you ain't part of the club, bro, until you are, like, undeniable, you know? Oh, I almost had a win today, but I. We lost. Yeah. There's no. There is no. There's no moral victories in life. There just isn't. There's no, oh, almost. Well, that was. That was good enough. That's what losers do. Y. That's what people who miserable do. That's what broke people do. That's what fat people do. That's what people who can't get control of their lives do. And if we're honest with ourselves, the. The ability to control the outcome is 100% in our hands. We can control all of the things. Okay. It's really easy to look at society right now and say, oh, society doesn't let me win because it's so hard, really. You could drink the right things, water. You could eat the right food, you could move your body. You could associate with the right people. You could put the right things in your brain. Those are things in your control. These are things that you control that control most of the outcome of your entire life and you're choosing to not do them. Whose fault is that? That's your fault. So, you know, I would encourage people, especially right now, you know, we got this right now. We got, you know, everybody's quitting their New Year's resolutions already. We had National Quitters Day on Friday, right?

29:59

Is that a real thing?

31:18

Yeah, January 9th, it was national Quitters Day. Meaning like this is the day where most people give up on their whole year of what they said they were going to be. And this is a cycle that repeats over and over and over again. And the up part is, is that all of you that already quit, you're just going to repeat the same year that you've already repeated over and over and over and except you're going to make yourself worse than you were before. And eventually you're going to wake up and you're going to look at this massive mountain that has to be climbed because of your inability to be serious about your life. And it's going to be demoralizing. And now it's going to be that much harder to conquer. So you know, what's that worth? Is that worth, Is that worth nights out with the, with the fucking with your friends? Is that worth, you know, ordering pizza and eating? Like, is that worth, Is it worth it? Is it worth your whole life? You know what I mean? Like, bro, I don't know if you looked around, but the world fucking sucks. And the reason it fucking sucks is because you fucking suck. That's the truth. And until individuals understand that nothing will change, we will not change as a country. Things will not get better until the individual understands that the responsibility to make the country better falls on their shoulders. And it starts with their actions and it starts with the results they produce. And there is no abandoning that responsibility anymore. Because we had this attitude in this country for so long that, oh, it's a free country, I can do whatever I want. Yeah, that freedom costs something. A great culture in America costs something. A great, a great polite, high functioning society costs something that isn't just guaranteed. And if you don't believe me, look at all the other in the world. All right? So we've been gifted this amazing place from people who have understood what I'm talking about, who have a sense of moral standard, who have a sense of value, have a sense of integrity, who of have a sense sacrificed for our society to be this way. And what, we're just gonna it off because we're lazy? Bro, that's some weak ass, you know, and it comes down to the individual. It just does. So when you think like, oh, man, I really hate what's going on in the world, you should look in the mirror, bro, because you're the reason it's happening.

31:19

That's real, bro. I love it. I love it, man. We got. We got question two. Yeah, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy. I own a small business, and from the outside, it looks like it's doing well. But the truth is I'm stressed about money almost every day. Payroll taxes, unexpected expenses. I feel like I'm carrying a constant, low level panic. How do you run a business without living in survival mode all the time? Is this. Is this normal? I mean, does it change? Does it stop? Does it get better?

33:38

I.

34:17

Okay, So, I mean, 30 years in, bro.

34:17

So I had a friend who. This is probably 15 years ago, and at that time, I would be 12 years in. Okay, was that. Yeah, 12 years in. Yep. All right. And we met for lunch. Okay. And this. This guy at this time was doing hundreds of millions of dollars a year in business. He was the most successful guy that I personally know. All right? Or that I knew at the time. And we met up here at Twisted Tree. Before. It was. Before it was Twisted Tree. It was Route 66 or whatever, that biker bar.

34:22

Okay.

35:02

Okay. And it was a big deal for me to meet with this dude. So, like, I wore a suit. Okay, Fuck it. I don't. You know, he shows up, he's like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like. I'm like. I'm like, I don't know, dude. Like, I'm not gonna. I don't want to waste your time, you know, to me, that's a sign of, like, true respect.

35:02

No.

35:21

You know, and we started talking, and we ended up having a couple beers. And I looked at him and I said. I said. I said, dude, let me ask you a question. I said, when. When does it, like, when does it not, like, stress you out? Like, when do you get to that point where, like, you're not freaked out? Because at that point, I was 12 years in and, like, dude, I was exactly like this person. And he goes, what do you mean? And I go, I mean, like, I'm always nervous and I'm looking at the numbers. And he goes, well, I just have all of my numbers down to, like. So I just look at it every day. And he. And I said, no, that's not what I mean. I said, what I mean is, like, I'm. I'm. I'm scared all the time. Like, I'm always like, feel like I'm on edge. And he started laughing at me. Like, he goes, oh, bro. He's like, that's the game. He's like. He's like that. Don't ever go away. He's like. He's like, laughing as he tells me, and I'm like, oh, okay. But the fact that he confirmed that that was the way that it was helped me accept that that was part of the price of the path that I chose. And for anybody who runs a business, whether it be small or big or whatever, you know, a lot of people make the assumption that, like, let's look at, you know, let's just say you. You. You know, let's use a big company like Anheuser Busch, okay? If you don't think that the guys that run Anheuser Busch are fucking stressed about the motherfucking numbers, even though they're. They're 100 billion. Conglomerate company, dude, it's just extra zeros.

35:22

Yeah, it.

37:01

The game is the same. You know what I'm saying? You just have less zeros in it. So these guys are stressed. They're working. You're the same. But here's the unique thing about effective entrepreneurs is eventually they cross into this reality of loving that part of it. They love that part of it. They love the game. They love solving the problems. They. They understand. But for you to love the game, you have to first accept that that's the game. Okay? So when you're in this place of, like, stress and. And anxiousness and doubt and walking on edge and this and that, it sucks. But once you accept that, that's the game that you chose. I chose to play this game, and it's part of the game, and everybody deals with it, not just me. Now it truly becomes a game, right? Because you understand that guy over there is doing the same shit, and that guy over there is doing the same shit. And that guy I'm chasing, he's got the same. He's got the same problems. And so then you start to, like, really like it. And for really successful entrepreneurs, like, dude, you know, I've spent a little time around Dana White now. You know what I mean? Dana White's one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world. He loves the chaos, bro.

37:02

Yes.

38:19

Okay. Like, when the chaos happens and when the hard times happen, you know what the first thing out of his mouth is? Legitimately? I love this. Yeah. Okay. And it's exciting. And who doesn't want to work for somebody that feels that way? Who doesn't want to work for someone who says, yeah, the cards are stacked against us, but guess what? We're getting tested, and this is going to be awesome, and we're going to win. Like, that's exciting. So. But it only happens once you accept that you're playing in this. In this dynamic that most people don't. So. And. And I would add this on top of it. Would you rather be you and dealing with that, or would you rather be the regular guy who's got a shitty job that he hates, who gets no input on what they do, who. Who. Who has the same worries and the same stresses, but. But in their individual personal life with no ability to actually change it. You see what I'm saying? So you should be grateful for that feeling and understand that it's a privilege and understand that now your job. Okay, I understand what it is. Just 12, 15 years ago, when I met with my buddy, I walked out of that meeting thinking, all right, I got this game on. Yeah, I'm gonna win the game. Yeah. Know what I'm saying? But. But when I didn't realize that everybody was like that, I felt like I was screwing up, and it was only me.

38:19

I'm doing something wrong.

39:42

Yeah. But it's everybody, dude. You'd think I don't wake up in the morning or in the middle of the night sometimes and, like, pops in my head and I get all sweaty and. And I'm like, you know what I mean? Like, that's part of it. But just like, that's part of it. Overcoming it's part of it as well. And that's where the juice is. That's where you're like, yeah, man. All right. This is. Or when you get really experienced, what happens is you only really feel that doubt and that anxiety when you don't know the answer to the problem. So now I'm so confident in my abilities that the minute I know the solution, even if it hasn't been executed yet, I know I will execute it. I'm confident in my ability to execute it. So once I know the solution, I've identified it all the. Goes away, and I. I know I won. Even though the world hasn't seen it.

39:43

Yet, ain't even came out yet.

40:36

Right?

40:37

Yeah, bro.

40:38

So really, dude, the. The. The answer to the question is, welcome to entrepreneurship. You know what I'm saying? That's the answer, and you're not doing anything wrong. This is the game that we all choose to play. We take on way more risks than the normal person can handle, and your success is Going to be directly proportioned to the amount of uncomfortable shit that you could fucking deal with, and that is it. Okay. So that's why it's so important to build yourself into someone who can handle those things. That's why it's so important to take your mental toughness seriously. That's why it's so important to invest in your discipline regularly, because that equips you to handle the extra load that you get to feel as an entrepreneur. Yeah.

40:38

Yeah. Brad, imagine so many people, you asked.

41:24

Me this the other day. Yeah. You were like, oh, man.

41:27

Oh, yeah.

41:30

You're like, it never ends. I'm like. I started laughing.

41:32

I'm like, no, what the. You think really what it was like? Because I do. I hear you all the time. Like, dude, I got my balls kicked in today. Oh, yeah?

41:35

Yeah. But, but, but, but, but getting your balls kicked in doesn't mean you lost.

41:42

Yeah.

41:48

That's what it does. That's what people don't understand. Like, I'll come in here and say, oh, yeah, I got my ass beat today, but every single one of those days, I still want to. You know, it was just hard that day.

41:48

Yeah.

41:59

So, yeah, you know, that's the game, dude. And we got to accept what it is, and it's not for everybody. And that's why entrepreneurship is such a great thing for people, because they don't have to deal with that feeling.

41:59

Let's say you get some other stress, but it ain't gonna be that.

42:14

Listen, you're gonna have stress no matter what you choose. It's a normal part of life. Okay? This idea that we're gonna avoid stress, I actually think one of the worst things that's happened in the last, like, 10 years of culture is that things like anxiety and stress have been painted as if you're never supposed to feel them. Okay? So now you have all these people out here, you know, all these predatory therapy people who are saying, oh, you know, you had trauma because you grew up. No, that's called growing up, okay? Oh, you had trauma because of this or that, bro. You know what real trauma is? Real trauma is getting stabbed in the fucking face. Real trauma is getting your fucking arm blown off. Real, real trauma is trauma. Ok? Growing up is not trauma. Now, you might have had some bad things that happen to you growing up, but it's only bad if you didn't learn from it. And you don't let that stop with you, and you go and fix it the right way going down the line.

42:16

Right?

43:18

All right? So you have to Ask yourself, like, anything, what did I learn? Did it do for me? Who did it make me? Because then you stop calling it trauma and you start calling it something that you're grateful for.

43:18

Yeah.

43:28

Like the worst things in my life are actually the things I'm most grateful for because they taught me the most. And when you have that perspective, things don't eat you the way that they do. When you believe that everybody's supposed to be stress free and everybody's supposed to have no anxiety, you know? You know when you have the mo. The most anxiety is that when you have anxiety about having anxiety because you think you're not supposed to have it.

43:28

Right.

43:55

All right? So you have all these people out here saying, oh, you know, I'm overwhelmed, I'm stressed, I have all this anxiety. Yeah, today you do. And you might have it for a week or you might have it for a month, but all of that shit's telling you something that you're not addressing, which is why it continues, okay? So this idea that to have a good life and to feel good is to have no stress and no anxiety and no doubt and just float through life. Like, what kind of actually lives that way, bro, it's not real, dude. And so when we paint this unrealistic expectation and then you're the one that's still feeling it, it makes it extra worse, okay? Or, you know, I've got anxiety, but I'm not supposed to have anxiety. And then, you know, you do all these things. You cold plunge. And I got caught up in this too, dude. You do all these things, you cold plunge your sauna, you do this perfect morning routine. Got to start your day off, I'm feeling good. And then the first thing happens, okay? And then you're like, why can't I get through a day without anxiety? Well, because that's not how it works, bro. You're bought into the false representation of what it's supposed to be, and now you're comparing yourself against something that's not real. Okay? If you do that, you're going to always feel worse. So you have to accept life, man. It's called fucking life. Shit is hard. You are going to have stress, you are going to have anxiety. You're going to have days where you feel like, fuck, this isn't worth it. That is the price of having a good, successful, fulfilling life that you are proud of when you die.

43:55

Yeah.

45:38

Okay? This is. This is real. And we have all these people that charge all these people, like, all this money to try and fix their. You Know their mentality. And like, dude, go talk to people who did 75 hard. Okay. What? Do you feel better before or after? After you did all the work. What? Oh, I feel better. No shit. You know why? Because humans are wired to do. They are wired to build things, they are wired to create things. They are wired to learn skills. They are wired to develop. They are wired to contribute. And when you sit at home and you think that life is supposed to be about relaxing all the time, you're going to be the most miserable human on the face of the planet. But that's what society puts on us. They put this idea of success on us. As if we're supposed to just like sit on a beach somewhere and ride away. And some people buy it, bro. Some people will fucking work their way asses off, sell their move to a beach and sit on the beach and be like, this sucks. I don't know what's wrong with me. I did everything that I'm supposed to do. You're that because you're wasting your potential, bro. And your soul knows it. You know it. All right, so this isn't about getting to a place where you're, quote, unquote happy. You need to be happy along the process and you need to be happy along the way. And if you're effective, like I said in the last answer, you will be happy and have time to do the things that you want to do on a daily basis. You just have to redefine what the win is. The win isn't for the next 30 days or the next six months or the next year. It's today. And when I get those five things done today, those five critical tasks that move me forward, this is not, I gotta pick up the kids from school. This is, I took five critical actions towards my outcome. All right? When you do those things and you get confidence in playing that game, all of a sudden, dude, a lot of that stress and a lot of that anxiety starts to calm down because you believe and you understand that these things will get done as they come. You see what I'm saying?

45:39

Absolutely. It made me think too. It's like, dude, imagine like how many people out there, instead of accepting the way it is, right? They feel that friction and they try to, like, they spend all their time and energy trying to remove the friction the wrong way. Like, imagine if you.

47:49

Most people. Dude, most people. Like, this is why people get caught up in the cycle. Like, dude, we have. All right.

48:05

Oh, you gotta put two crystals up your butt. Well, that didn't work. Try Three.

48:11

Like, like just shoot some coffee in there.

48:14

Yeah, right, right.

48:16

You know what I'm saying?

48:17

Just go fix the shit.

48:17

Yeah. Or do the, that you know you're supposed to do so that you're proud of yourself when you look in the mirror. That removes. That's like the biggest anti anxiety drug in the world. Doing the, you know you're supposed to do, becoming the person you know you're supposed to be, building the, you know you're supposed to build, contributing in the way you're supposed to contribute. You want to not feel anxious, do those things and you're going to feel like, damn, dude, I'm doing it. Yeah. Okay. So you know, we've got to accept reality, dude. And, and, and unfortunately we have a lot of predators on the Internet that try to paint a false reality of this. Like, you know, I don't know, I don't know what you call it, like Zen like existence. And those, those people, do not let them fool you, bro. Those people are miserable. They are miserable. That's why they stay locked into that lifestyle forever, ever, because they're always looking for the solution. Oh, I'm in this, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm living the perfect life, Right? And, and, but then they're constantly adding things and they're constantly, oh, I found this new thing. And I found this new thing. You found this new thing for what? Oh, you mean the same problems that you said you already solved by being a. Nothing. You see what I'm saying? So dude, you got to listen. You have to learn to think about how you think. You have to start becoming aware of why things are the way that they are. You have to start becoming aware of why you think the things that you actually think. And if you don't remove yourself from your actual thinking and then analyze your thinking, you're, you're always going to be in a place of ignorance when it comes to your decisions, right? So it's like three levels of thinking, right? It's like what you do, you're. And then it's okay, what did I think about what I did? And then it's, well, why do I think that about what I did? You know what I mean? And most people don't have that ability to like analyze their own decision, making their own thinking clearly, because look at what's going on in society. How many people can detach themselves from the left right narrative and, and actually the, the quote unquote team they've assigned themselves to and make critical decisions based upon what they Observe that aren't in line with whatever, you know, the team says very few. Oh yeah, we see it in society.

48:18

Yeah.

50:57

So it's, it's unawareness is what it is. But you know, that's a whole. We could talk about that for 10 hours, dude.

50:58

Yeah, that's real. Well, we got one more question to get in here. So guys. Andy, question number three. Andy, how do you deal with the coworker who is only 21? So like immature, no life experience, lazy, no urgency. Everything is just a big game. And it literally pisses me off. And everyone thinks I'm the bad guy for being mad all the time. It's leading me to hate my job, deal with fucked up co workers, I guess. I don't know how people in the.

51:06

Boat, you're in the boat, punch them in the face.

51:36

That's one way to do it.

51:40

Yeah. Throw them out of the boat. Yeah. You know, you know, why does it bother you so much? Why does it bother you so much what everybody else is doing? Why are you concerned? Well, if it's affecting your outcome because they're, you know, like you said, in the boat and they're not rowing. Okay, well that's something that you, you need to address and you should probably address that with that person at a peer to peer level. You could address that with the people around, like, hey man, we're all trying to win and this motherfucker ain't helping us win and he's riding in the boat for free while we all do the fucking work. And you could get everybody else to see it too. But in most of these cases, here's what happens, dude. The truth is, the truth is quite different than what is being presented here. In most of these cases, the person who's upset isn't effective either. Okay? Yeah. And so because do truly effective people, people who are actually winning, they don't give a about what anybody else is doing. They're handling their business, they're doing what they need to do and they're taking care of what they need to take care of so that they can move forward in their life. And they understand that this person over here or over there or whatever is irrelevant to that. Are there situations, like I said, where those people are dragging you down? Yeah, but there's this thing called peer to peer leadership. Okay. And peer to peer leadership only works when you're doing great. Okay. I bet if you ask that 21 year old kid what he thinks about you, he's thinking you're a lazy piece of.

51:41

Yeah, right, right.

53:21

Right. You know what I'm saying?

53:21

Right. So he don't get too much spotlight because he's gonna show all the.

53:23

You ain't doing correct, you know? Yeah, yeah. So, you know, the truth of the matter is, is, is you need to worry about your own. And when you're, when you're undeniably good at what you do, the disparity that it creates between the people who are off and you makes them wash out on their own. You don't think that like, if you were truly kicking ass and you were truly undeniably great, then it wouldn't expose this 21 year old kid for being a idiot? You see what I'm saying?

53:26

Right?

53:56

So if you really want to fix the problem, it all comes down to what we talk about all the time, which is being great on your own, being undeniable on your own. Okay? There's no snap fix that you could just go, you're not able to fire that person. You're not able to get them, get rid of them. So what can you control? You control what you do. And if you do it well enough, there will be a big enough disparity between the two of you that everybody's going to look at that guy and be like, why is that guy on the team?

53:56

It's obvious. Yeah. Yeah.

54:29

So it's. That's. Most people just can't grasp that understanding. They want something to come in and fix it so that they don't have to like do their part. And it's just loser thinking, bro. I'm sorry.

54:30

Yeah, I think this is the nuance too of like the whole comparison thing, right? Like, because you hear it both ways, right? I think like in this situation, this is where you take the other side, where it's like, dude, you got to have your blinders on, bro. Right? You can't be focused on all the other shit around. You gotta fucking put blinders on and run your race, dude.

54:44

You don't think that there's been every successful person on the planet, you don't think they've had dogs on the team before? They won't run. Everybody knows it, everybody sees it, Every manager knows it, every leader knows it, every founder knows it, every CEO knows it. They all know it. So your job is to not get confused as to one of those people, all right? And you know the best way you could do it is to be undeniably great yourself and let that rot. You know what I'm saying? Like, let them let him rot. And if you work for a company that you know, just lets these people rot there. It's probably a good idea to look for other companies that don't allow those people to sit and rot. I will say this. Those of you listening who are pretending to go through the motions, because there is quite a few of you, let's be honest, who are showing up and going through the motions and you're doing just good enough to not, you know, get in trouble. You will lose your jobs in this next phase of, of growth in life because AI is getting so advanced, people. I mean, just look at it in the last two years, dude, it's getting so good and it's going to continue to accelerate. This is the thing they don't, people don't understand about AI. It's, it's not a linear improvement curve. It's. It's a, it's a hockey stick. Okay? Right now we're still in the handle part where it's like learning. It's learning, it's learning, it's learning, it's learning. It's getting better and better and better. It's picking up momentum, momentum. And then there's going to come a time where it starts to compound and it starts to go up real sharp. And when it does, the ability for AI to do people's jobs is, is going to be real. It's going to be real, okay? And people who coast and people who don't contribute and people like this 21 year old allegedly, that you have there, they're not going to have jobs because it won't even matter. It's. It's not going to matter. So, and I'm saying this because those of you who are not truly dedicated, and I want you to remember this, especially those of you who've been listening to me for a long time, and I'm not saying this to beat my chest, but how many times have I been wrong about what's going to happen? How many times have I told you guys, this is what's going to happen in culture and it not happen? Okay? Back in 2020, I was telling you guys, don't give into this woke shit because you're going to get labeled as a woke company and you're going to have a fucking problem when this, when the culture swings back. Culture has swung back. When I said that, there was tons of backlash. People were like, oh, you're wrong. It's not going to happen. It's over. It's just that, really, have you paid attention to what's going on? Have you seen that the pro America companies, the Companies that stand on their, you know, on their heels and they're doing, they're, they're getting traction right now. Okay, did you. But if you went out and you branded yourself one of these woke companies, you have a really hard time coming to that. You look stupid. Those companies are getting called out. They're still losing business. They're, they're losing market share to much smaller brands that actually stand for the things that these people in this country want to stand for. And I told you that, I told you that. And a lot of you fucking didn't listen, all right? Because you were scared. You were scared to take a fucking stand. I'm telling you, those of you who are entrepreneurs, you will lose your jobs unless you become undeniably great at contributing to the mission of whatever company you're a part of, you will lose your job and you will be one of these people on universal basic income and you will get what the fuck you get. And that's going to be that. And we are in a critical time right now. We are in a time where there is, yes, there's still the opportunity to become undeniably great at contributing, but I don't think that's going to last for another three years. I think it's going to be the next 18 months and then after that it's going to separate. And the 21 year old turd that you're talking about, he's going to be broke forever. And if you don't get on the other side of that line, you're going to be broke forever too. And that is a real thing that's going to happen 100%. So if I were you, and you're one of these people who already gave up on their New Year's and you're, you're repeating the, the same you've done for ever and ever and ever. Because let's be real, dude, being physically fit, being mentally fit is a huge foundation for you to become successful in your life. You, you, you, you, who gave up already, you're going to be on the, on the bad side of that line. You're going to be broke and you're not going to have the opportunity to get around it. So you have to take it seriously. When I say take it seriously, I don't mean take it seriously the way you think. I mean, I mean take it seriously every single fucking day for the next 18 months as hard as you fucking can. We are not in a place right now where balance is, is a real thing. That's a luxury, okay?

55:01

You're.

1:00:06

You're in the time right now where you're either going to be on the. On the side that continues to grow and make money and can have the things that you want, or you're going to be on the side that has to take the gruel that these motherfuckers give you. And I didn't make the rules and I wish I could not make them that way, but you can't put back in the box what's already been let out. So it's happening and it's real. And if you don't fucking figure it out right now and you're not dedicating every single day for the next 18 months. And I mean every day. I don't mean three days a week. I don't mean, you know, for 75 days. I mean for every motherfucking day, you're going to fucking lose. Because there's not enough time. Even with the technology, there's not enough time. So the good news is there's a flip side of that. With the technology, there is enough time for you to become who the you want to be in the next 18 months, but only if you. If you take every single day seriously. And there's people listening right now. Oh, Andy, you know, that sounds pretty harsh, that sound. Well, how many times have I led you wrong? I'm not wrong about this. And I'm telling you right now, if you don't take it seriously, it's going to cost you every thing in your whole entire life and every dream, every outcome, every little vision that you've had that you've been afraid to go achieve is going to cease to be possible if you don't go now. So for those of you that you know have already decided that you're going to off for another year, you might as well accept that you're going to be broke and be either in the same position, likely a much worse position than you are in now. So it's that or it's go hard and that's it. And those are the only two choices right now.

1:00:07

Of a Dude. I love it, man. Guys. Andy. The hell a way to start a week.

1:01:47

That's right. We'll see you guys tonight. 7:00pm CTI live on YouTube and X. Don't forget, don't be a hoe trailer.

1:01:53

Shot yeah whiff was sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze Fuck up bow fuck a stove Counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bank row can't fold just a no head shot case close.

1:02:04