PRIYANKA CHOPRA JONAS: Fame, Motherhood, Love and the Moment That Changed Everything

This is an iHeart Podcast, guaranteed human. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanka Wally. And I'm Hari Kondabolu. It's a new year, and on the podcast Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed? Health Stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom Podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Polter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name. Part of the way through the valley of despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to The Mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. When you feel uncomfortable, what do you put on? Biggie. You put on Biggie when you feel uncomfortable? Because I want to get confident. This is DJ Hester Prince's Music is Therapy. A new podcast from me, a DJ and licensed therapist. 12 months, 12 areas of your life. Money, love, career, confidence. This isn't just a podcast. it's unconventional therapy for your entire year listen to dj hester prins music is therapy on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts when we were told that she's coming 27 weeks i just shut down and we got a text saying her birth is going to be put out we were kind of forced into announcing her birth we weren't ready because we didn't know what would happen with her. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. Today's guest is one of our most popular episodes ever, even though we did it digitally, even though we were all living very, very different lives. And I'm so excited that today we get to have her not just on camera, but in the studio. I'm speaking about the one, the only Priyanka Chopra Jonas, an award-winning global actor, producer, and entrepreneur who has led at the highest levels of both Bollywood and Hollywood. With over 60 films to her name, multiple Filmfare Awards and recognition on Time 100's Most Influential People list, she's become one of the most influential artists in entertainment. Priyanka's new movie, The Bluff, a 19th century pirate action thriller, is out now on Amazon Prime Video. You won't want to miss this one, I promise you. Please welcome Priyanka Chopra Jonas. Priyanka, it's great to have you here wow that intro was like i was so tight you were saying it what were you feeling what goes through your head when you hear all those amazing accolades amazing and and you know that was just the tip of the iceberg there's so many more it's fine if it's like written about or it's at a little bit of a distance but when you say it to my face it's like i don't know it feels obnoxious a little bit oh well with that i think that's a that's a sign of your good character but i wanted to add to the formal introduction just how that little time we spent together how wonderful it's always been whether i bumped into you at friends birthday parties like last year or whether it's the amazing diwali party that you and nick threw a few years back which has stayed and etched in our memory or whether it's the super bowl party singers we've just gone past super we came over to you for a super bowl party once and you're like the best host like i literally felt i was like you're making sure we'd eaten and making sure we're drunk and just just the best experience with you and the family always and so thank you for being as kind uh off screen as you are on screen and just as wonderful as well and it's been a it's been a gift getting to know you and i'm so glad you're back in la me too i'm so glad to be back in la um and thank you we do you know we we're house proud we like we've always liked um hosting and having friends and family over i mean i'm punjabi anyway and i married a Punjabi American, I think. We're just so similar when it comes to those values and we will just enjoy it so much. Our first Thanksgiving together, it was in Delhi because I was filming a movie there. And I remember my mom was giving a toast and she said, may your table always grow longer and bigger and always include people you love. And I feel like that is something that happened to us and we really enjoy it yeah it's beautiful you do a great job of it we i was just looking back and i just showed you the last time you're on the show was exactly five years ago by like four days which is wild five years ago exactly five years ago in february uh when i when i think about how much your life has changed from the outside what to speak of your own experience of your own life i wanted to ask you what's what's the most surprising thing that you enjoy about this stage of your life that maybe you wouldn't have seen five years ago or maybe wouldn't have noticed five years ago, but you've kind of discovered as where you are right now of what's bringing you joy, what's, you know, lighting up your life? My daughter. And also, I think I've found a sense of peace. I ran really fast for a really long time. And it was all I knew. I was dropped into a business at a very young age that I had no idea about nobody in my family had any idea about it started with pageants and then Bollywood movies and and then Hollywood but I think in all of that it's so uncertain right our jobs it's gig to gig so when I first started it was just like about you have to keep moving and what's the next thing and um it was sort of like this weird training that I didn't know how to unlearn and I didn't know that there was any other way of being and over the last few years and I don't know if it's the influence of my husband moving countries um working at a different pace becoming a parent I maybe it's a confluence of all of them but I feel at a sense of peace with what I've been able to achieve and what I may or may not achieve. Like initially I was, I'm still a perfectionist, but I think I was greedier when it came to ambition. Now I think I prioritize time with family, being at home, nesting. Like right now, we've just moved back to our house in L.A. So unpacking, packing, putting stuff together, editing out, you know, Maltese closet. She's four. I had stuff in there from when she was two. You know, Nick stuff. It's just, it's so fun to go into. Like I, my mother-in-law told me this, but, you know, seasonal to bring out like everything that's seasonal in your pantry and like make sure that the plates are right. And it was never something I would have enjoyed doing even like seven years ago or eight years ago. It's a shift in just my whole being. And I'm still coming to terms with it and familiarizing myself with it. But I'm allowing myself the time to kind of be in it. I would have, you know, berated myself earlier, you know, made myself feel guilty for taking a day off. I really romanticize not taking time off so it's a just like a complete 360 which is I'm coming to terms with it myself yeah I can imagine I mean it feels like you're the expert of knowing when to shift speed because when you think about the way you dominated Bollywood and the success you had there coming out of Hollywood at peak success you know when you're already winning and then you go oh no, I want another gear. So you come over winning here. And then now, as you're saying, winning here and then going, oh no, now I want a different gear. And it almost feels, would you say it's just time and age? Or is there something else that allowed you to be at peace, as you said? Because peace is such a, I think we often think when we're young, that pleasure and joy and enjoyment and happiness are the goal. And then as you get older, you realize peace was actually always it's having time to waste what a luxury not spend because it's a currency time I feel like with your family with people you love or on the job I love being on set it's one of my favorite places in the world but it's when you can just sit and not be answerable to anything and I take that privilege also very seriously I know this has not been handed to me I've worked really hard to be where I am. So I'm allowing myself that time, you know, our daughter started in the new school. I love being able to pick her up from there, hear her stories and like be around. And, you know, maybe it's just time, age, space, where I am at the moment. I'm not sure. But I think that every other pivot of mine didn't feel like it was something I controlled. Interesting. I felt pushed into it. This is the first time I feel like I'm allowing myself to not push myself so hard and see what happens. I used to always feel like, you know, the sky will fall if I stop working one day. Yeah. And a lot of us are wired that way. I think especially from India and Asia, we have this work ethic which our parents probably because they had to you know in order to survive and to make it in an ever-changing world in their generation they they had to go really hard so I think our generation grew up thinking that that was the way to be but I think I've learned to look inwards a little bit and that's okay and allowing myself that yeah but the other pivots I just did the best I could. But I love that, that agency and that control. And you're right, the same, we were just talking about it off camera a second ago, this idea of I was sharing that, you know, my mom would drop me to school, work during the day, pick me up, then she'd go back out to work in the evenings. And often I'd just go with her and fall asleep by her leg while she was in an appointment or a meeting. And I just got to see how hard my mom worked. And that, of course, has lots of benefits, as you said, in terms of building discipline, hardworking mentality. and then at the same time it comes a point where maybe you have to when you get the privilege or the opportunity to peel back from it to be able to shift yeah and it's such a privilege like you have to work hard to survive in this life and people work really really hard and some people you know work in jobs that you know you might not want or be in but you have to survive so i take that privilege of this, and it's just this year, honestly. Yes, the first time in your life. First time I'm actually doing it, where I, you know, want to take that moment to kind of indulge in my family. And I think, you know, sometimes hardworking limits your mind itself to finding that balance. and um but if you can find that balance um that's the dream yeah yeah are you uh nick was here just literally like two three weeks ago it was the best interview oh wow it was the best interview you didn't have to you don't have to say that no i don't have to say that i had so many people who called me about it and just hearing it both of you i mean it's who you are but it's also my husband is amazing just so sincere and honest and it's like disarming um and to see that on camera it was it was a wonderful interview i was going to ask you did you debrief do you both talk about when you get back from these not when we get back when the clips come out like you know when you get back home you're like oh let's watch a movie talked about myself all day can't do that anymore I don't think we got into it. I had no idea about what you guys spoke about. But when the clips come out and I'm seeing it, then of course we talk about it. No, my favorite thing is to be sitting opposite someone who's that sincere because it just allows for this really genuine dialogue to come out. And yeah, no, I'm glad that you got a chance to see it. I'm glad that I got to be with you. It's not easy to be that. No, it isn't. And especially in our profession. I mean, you do it differently, but when it's a public-facing profession, you get media trained. You can't help it. Yeah, yeah. When you do it for long enough, how to navigate different questions, how to deflect from what you don't want to answer. And I have an added layer of it because I have a pageant background, so I can really deflect. Oh, wow. So for me, it has always been really, really tough to reach that deep part of myself when I'm on camera. I find it uncomfortable. But it was very inspiring to watch that interview and see Nick do it. I mean, that's the most inspiring thing about my husband for me, and which is why you know i give a lot of credit to being married to him to to have been able to find this ease and and comfort as i navigate life like even the the tough things um are kind of easier to handle because he's with me wow and it's so different than what life was like 10 years ago and And so I think that, you know, it's being able to see him do that has helped me also get in touch with my feelings a little bit more and articulate them. Like both of those things are mutually exclusive for me, were mutually exclusive for me. But now I feel them and I can talk about it. And that was a big step. Yeah, I love that. I mean, both of you talk so beautifully about your daughter. and I was wondering, are you the strict one? Are you the chill one? Are you the fun one? As a parent, what is your go-to? If Nick's the sincere one, what's your... Yeah, I'm the mom. I have to set down the rules. You're like, I'm doing all the hard work here. No, we both do that. The good thing about our parenting, and we kind of fell into this beautifully as a rhythm together, was we always talk about how we will navigate a situation. And we are always on the same page when it comes to her. So there's never a decision that I will say something and he will say something else or we're not on the same page about it. And we just kind of naturally fell into that. But yes, I'm usually a little bit more setting down the rules and you have to finish eating and you have to sleep at this time. We have to wake up for school. Like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. One person has to do that. I make her schedule. Yeah, one person has to do it. One person has to do it. Someone has to take the take the response. Take the hit. Yeah. I love I love what you were saying, though, like just about being open and honest in conversation and in the public eye and how hard that is, especially now in a world where we do live in a world full of clips, like where everyone's judging you off what you said in 20 seconds without the context of even the fact. And that's why I think podcasting has been so revolutionary and helpful in that space is someone can actually listen to someone for an hour, two hours and actually make sense of what they're saying rather than, oh, I saw this 30 second clip of a three minute interview on a TV show. And now this is my version of who you are. And or I think you're the character you play in your movies. I don't really know who you are. So I wonder why is it important for you to be yourself fully now on an interview on a show? Like, why? Why are you even trying to do that? Why is that even meaningful to you? what would that provide for you right now? I don't know if I can. I'm trying it out with you. You're my guinea pig. I love it. Oh, great. This is the experiment. Amazing. I love it. I don't know if I can. I don't know if you'll be able to get past that. But no, I think it's the opposite. I think I have come to a place in my life where I'm more in touch with my own feelings. Yes, okay. Hence being able to be confident enough to talk about real things versus deflecting it into, you know, what I want you to kind of think. And so now I'm like, I'll try it with Jay. Perfect. Thank you for trusting me. Comfortable seat, trustworthy man. Yeah, I appreciate that. Thank you. That's very kind. No, but it's real. It's such a real thing you're talking about. It's not easy to do that. And I think you're so right about when you're still trying to figure yourself out. And sometimes when you're in the change, it's like everyone wants to know everything about you, but it's like you're so in transition that you're like, I have nothing to share. I feel like that between when I'm writing books. So when I have a book, I have lots to talk about because I've just spent two, three years studying this theme and looking at the science and the research and the wisdom and all this stuff. And then people invite me on interviews in between. I'm like, guys, I've got nothing to say because I'm working on new ideas. I'm building new ideas. And I don't want to just say what I said before. I will give you credit, though. I think you're being a little bit hard on yourself because I remember the last time I interviewed you, the way you spoke about your parents and what you've learned from them and just how much impact they've had on you, that not only is extremely genuine, it resonates really strongly. And I know it resonated with our audience. Like that interview we did five years ago has like 3 million views. And it's like people got so much from it. So I think you are being a bit hard on yourself. And I just want to let you off the hook a little bit because would you say that's been a trait of yours as well as part of that ambition, that drive have you had to be hard on yourself through this my therapist think so what is your therapist that's what i want to know what is what is the therapist um yeah that's apparently a character trait of mine that i'm very hard on myself i didn't know that i've recently like i'm really turning the lens on myself a little bit in the last few years uh where I'm kind of trying to get to know this new me. There are things that I do and say where I'm like, wow, this would not have been my reaction like six years ago. Patience, like I was not patient. I mean, I really, I'm still like, I move very fast. I make quick decisions. I try to be like, I'm always five seconds ahead when it comes to work. But I think having a toddler will teach you patience that it's never in your control. I think that's fine. Sometimes I think about it, I'm like, I know that the biggest personal growth I'll ever have is having a kid. Absolutely. You have no control. Yeah, you think, yeah, I'm always like, yeah, you think you've done all the self-work and then you'll have a child, Jay, and you'll know exactly how far you are. You will have no idea in the directions your personality will change. Yeah. You cannot predict it. Yeah. It depends on who your kid is and who they turn into. And it just, you become metamorphosized into this other person. And in every aspect, priorities suddenly change. And everyone had told me that before. But when you're living it, it's really wild. So I'm still trying to get to know this new me, who's completely different from even the one you probably spoke about five years ago. That was before I became a parent. And so it'll be fun to get to know her. Yeah. What have you discovered so far that's been the most surprising to you or something that you're like, oh, I didn't know that was there. Like what was something that you came across recently that stood out to you about yourself that you've been finding, discovering, searching? I'm much more patient with things when they don't work out. I would, like I said, or you said, observed, was very hard on myself when something wouldn't work out. Or I would, you know, like just be mad and my approach to like figuring out why it didn't go the way I needed it to go, like the control that I needed to have. Like I just I feel like it's OK to not have that. And that's a huge change in me because it's affected every aspect of my life, how I interact with human beings, how I approach work that I take on. Definitely how I parent. And even how I am at home, it's made me self-sufficient. It's made me rely on myself a little bit more. It's like created a sense of confidence, which, again, this is something that I have preached. I know my mind knows, but I was never able to implement to myself, which was, you know, when you're holding on to something really, really tight, you know, you're exhausting your muscles. It's so tiring. and that's people who like to control things and you know like alpha personalities or like it has to go my way um and maybe that was how i achieved what i did and my ambition showed itself in you know being a control freak almost like holding on really tight um but that's something I've really consciously and subconsciously worked on. As soon as I recognized the ease of letting the universe kind of push you in the direction you're meant to go, and then within that, of course, work hard every day to achieve your goals through the day. But it's okay if once in a while it doesn't turn out to be the way you thought it should be, because you might end up with what you need instead of what you wanted, which is even more important. Yeah, there's a beautiful Zen teaching that says, letting go is hard, but holding on is harder. Definitely. And it's exactly what you just described, like when you're trying to hold on to this rope and it's tight in the grip. It's exhausting. It's so much more, exactly, it's exhausting, it's painful, you'll end up with scars from it. But you just pointed out, do you think that, it's almost like, it's such a catch-22 because it's like, do you think you'd be this successful if you hadn't had that no right so i don't think so and i've i like i look at my 20 year old self and i applaud her for surviving and doing whatever i needed to flying all over the world wanting to achieve everything having the personality trait of of you know being someone who just wanted everything and not be apologetic for it. Like my younger self was not apologetic for, you know, wanting a piece of everything, wanting a legacy, wanting to leave behind something. And I really had to separate myself and like, look at her. And, you know, in fact, when I was writing my memoir, it was a really critical experience for me, which helped me kind of navigate a lot of these things. Because I was talking to my friends and family and, you know, trying to corroborate my own memories because, you know, memory is a funny thing. What I might remember may be just my perspective and perception is definitely not reality. And I used to believe 100% that perception is reality. What you become is what people believe. And, like, as time has gone by, I was just like, man, And that girl really had to believe what she had to believe to get to the other side. And that's okay. Yeah. And, you know, I see a bravado, which I admire today. I maybe don't have it anymore. You know, I'm a little bit more sensible, a little bit more level-headed, maybe. Still is funny, though. Still is funny. Still is funny. Yeah. The comedy is important. Yeah, exactly. Gets you through stuff. But, you know, like, it's okay. I think I needed to be, and as we grow older, I think for all of us, at whatever age in life you're in, but to be able to forgive yourself for how you were when you were young. We all hold on to so many burdens of our past and are so hard on ourselves because of those things. And just, I think, focusing on the future and the present is just a way of kind of letting go of that control. This episode is brought to you by eBay. Music has always been one of my teachers. There was a vinyl record I used to play during a quiet, very formative season of my life. Late nights, no distractions, just me, the music and my thoughts. I'd sit still, let the needle drop and really listen. Not just to the sound, but to what was coming up inside me. That record wasn't background noise. It was intentional. It created space. It helped me slow down in a world that constantly asked me to move faster. Over time, life changed. Schedules filled up. The stillness became harder to protect. And somewhere along the way, that record disappeared. I didn't notice right away, but I felt the absence of what it represented. Recently, I realized I wasn't missing the music. I was missing the ritual. the act of pausing of being present of listening deeply to myself so i searched for that same vinyl same version the same cover and i found it on ebay when it arrived i didn't play it immediately i just thought back to that moment and after that i couldn't wait to listen and when i finally did the music was the same but i wasn't i heard it differently i understood it differently and that's when it really hit me the things we keep don't lock us into the past they meet us where we are now. Objects can evolve us. They can remind us of practices we want to return to, of values we don't want to lose, of versions of ourselves that still matter. That's what I love about eBay. It's not just about buying things. It's about rediscovering meaning about one person passing something on and another person finding exactly what they didn't realize they were looking for. eBay is also a place where you can let go of items that are no longer serving you or that you no longer need. You can give items a new life, a new story with someone else. Visit ebay.com to shop your favorite finds, find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay, things people love. What is one thing about love you've had to unlearn that it's earned? That it needs to be forever for it to count. February is the month of love. Whether you're in a relationship, casually dating, or proudly single, it's a great time to reflect on yourself and what you want. I'm Hope Woodard, host of the Boy Sober podcast, and each week this month, we're looking at love from every angle. I don't know how to tell my partner what I want in bed. The thing about romantic fiction, I would say more than any other genre of culture, is that it's always put women first. My marriage stopped making sense. The connection started to feel off. The behavior started to feel different. This February, get in touch with yourself by listening to Boy Sober. That's B-O-Y-S-O-B-E-R. I'm like, I would love to not hate the man I'm sleeping with. I don't know what that's about. Listen to Boy Sober on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if mind control is real? If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, What kind of life would you have? Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car? When you look at your car, you're going to become overwhelmed with such good feelings. Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you? I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused. Can you get someone to join your cult? NLP was used on me to access my subconscious. NLP, aka Neuro Linguistic Programming, is a blend of hypnosis, linguistics, and psychology. Fans say it's like finally getting a user manual for your brain. It's about engineering consciousness. Mind Games is the story of NLP. It's crazy cast of disciples and the fake doctor who invented it at a new age commune and sold it to guys in suits. He stood trial for murder and got acquitted. The biggest mind game of all? NLP might actually work. This is wild. Listen to Mind Games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When you feel uncomfortable, what do you put on? Biggie. You put on Biggie when you feel uncomfortable? Because I want to get confident. This is DJ Hester Prince's Music is Therapy, a new podcast from me, a DJ and licensed therapist that asks one simple question. Who do you want to be and what's the song that can take you there? Music changes what you feel and what you feel changes what you do, right? That moment where a song ships something inside you, that's where transformation starts. This year, I'm talking to experts across every area of life, like personal finance icon Gene Chatzky, New York Times journalist David Gellis relationship legend Dan Savage human connection teacher Mark Brodes and the man who shaped my ear more than anyone Questlove They bring the strategies I pair them with the right records and we'll teach you how to use the music to make change stick. This isn't just a podcast, it's unconventional therapy for your entire year. Listen to DJ Hesterkrin's Music is Therapy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I feel like so many of us as humans, when we discover a new way of living, we almost disregard, shun exactly the past way of being. And so we're like, oh, now I've figured out life. Now I'm at peace. And it's almost like, wait a minute, you're forgetting the part that that kid at 20 years old, as yourself, you're talking about, needed to have that bravado, that holding on tight, that ambition, that to get here and I love what you're saying because I think that's really the work that we're all trying to do is accept that all these versions of us were just trying the best with what they know. Yeah. And now that we know better, we can do differently and do better. But that it's not a judgment or a shunning of that version of ourselves. And as we grow in life, we're going to keep changing. Like evolution. Yeah, hopefully. Yeah. And even if we don't, that's fine. that's your individual journey you know and but like nick's new song it was so profound to me gut punch because that's what it really talks about is when did i get so good at being mean to myself right and we all do and if we would you catch yourself on the couple of things which actually helped me one is this a constructive thought it's when i'm going down the rabbit hole of anything? Stress, fear, anxiety, anything. Is it a constructive thought? Will it get me somewhere? And if it's not, it's not meant to be in your head. And the second thing which has really helped me is thoughts are not facts. So when you're spiraling about something or anxious about something or berating yourself for having done something wrong, you have to kind of come back to the facts like what are the facts that i know and then it just takes away the power um yeah those are tools that have really i think helped me in this new phase i love the zen phase yeah i love those tools yeah especially that second one because i feel like the mind is not a truth seeker it's a storyteller absolutely it will make up a story and it will create it and we believe it yeah and we'll plaster it it's the biggest fake news in the world is the mind doing its thing and like you just start to believe whatever news story and especially if we don't talk about it which most of us are trained to not do right like we've got to be tough we've got to like at least when i was growing up there was no importance to therapy or constructive conversation even within family it was like you're stronger than that you don't have to feel that way like almost dismissive of actual feelings and not just my parents that was just the culture of how it was. And I feel like that's a wonderful thing that we've come to a place where we can actually talk about our feelings. But the more you keep it in, the more you're not allowed to talk about how you're feeling, which is totally different than how you should be behaving or what you should be doing in a situation. Completely different thing. How you're feeling is so crucial to acknowledge. and then it's easier to kind of move on. But the initial validation you need is I am upset about something and it's okay. Whatever that might stem from, I might be feeling jealous. I might feel like angry that this didn't happen for me or whatever it was. But it's okay to acknowledge that feeling and I find it really beneficial to talk to like my best friend or my husband or someone. And this is also a Nick Jonas learning, actually. Gone. Oh, man. I just realized early into our marriage, we had, you know, arguments that everyone does when you're just getting to know each other and newly married. And we had an argument and being the person that I am, you know, I'm the storm in Nick's teacup. That's how we are. Or at least we were. I don't know. We're evolving. I was like, well, we need to approach it this way. And, you know, this is how it'll get better and solutions and solutions. And he was like, well, we need to talk about how we're feeling. And those were completely two different things. And I didn't know how to do that. Or like, the fact that I needed to do that. And he was like, let's talk about how I'm feeling, how you're feeling, and then we'll be able to move on to a solution, which was so mind blowing to me at that time and profound, honestly. And it just changed the way the direction of the conversation. It's just it's so healthy to be able to acknowledge, you know, yeah, this made me feel this way. Yeah. And the same honest truth. So then you're like, oh, my gosh, if something I said made someone feel a certain way, how do I feel about doing that to a loved one? You know, if a certain behavior from me or a certain behavior from you just makes me feel not nice, will you keep doing it again? Knowing that. So it was such a big, like, learning for both of us. And, you know, we've never gone back to the storm in the teacup. radhi and i will still i mean radhi and i've been together for 13 years now it's our 10-year wedding anniversary this year oh congrats you guys decades super exciting and at the same time my point is of course we still have stupid arguments all the time we've just built tools and techniques over the years that have worked for us and everything that's you know that everyone's dealing with what gave you because i find this to be one of the biggest things at least for me that i think has been beneficial what gave you the humility to be able to learn that from nick right because i think in a lot of relationships it's kind of like well you want to do it that way but this is the way i do it so like you're saying hey i want to do a solution i was like that right it happened for a few yeah a few times and we argued where i was like this is who i am and like this is what i know it's worked for me and it has worked for me yeah but i think i heard him maybe for the first time and i don't know what maybe i wasn't hearing him i was focused so much on what I was feeling, that I couldn't listen to what he was feeling. And over time, maybe, you know, my husband is, and I've said this so many times, the most sincere, honest person, and that just disarms you. So when he looks at you with those eyes and says, let's talk about how we're feeling, we're going to talk about how we're feeling. yeah he has that deep presence he's just like the room calms down and it just the he just takes you in that the direction that he wants to and um that's the first thing actually that drew me to when we first met is he has this quiet confidence which makes him like a natural leader you know you kind of want to listen to him and hear him out and know that you know he has thought about things and he's not impulsive and um he's decisive but it's just this quiet confidence it doesn't need you know to be put on display um and that was just beautiful yeah i mean that takes a lot from you to notice that as well because sometimes i think quiet confidence is missed yes because it's quiet as in it doesn't have that flashy it doesn't feel like it doesn't look like leadership in the old way it's been propagated across the world and then it's easy to miss so it's it's also credit to you to be able to you know at the time to be able to notice that and see the value of it I felt the value of it when I've been around him and had conversations with him and it's always been something that has it's been something I have seeked it's been something that I have always been drawn to. And again, you know, it's different phases, different, you have to be different kinds of confidence. There are times where you need to be a peacock and, or a porcupine. It's fine. I like that. You can be either or, but you've got to, you know, show it off a little bit. And then there are times you don't. It's really up to us to figure out when, you know, how much you need to turn it up and how much you need to turn it down. But the fact that you can turn it down, that is something like a lot of people don't know and use. You know, confidence doesn't always have to be loud. It doesn't always have to scream. It just arrives. And that's the best type. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, obviously you have that. You also have that like quiet confidence. Thank you. That's very sweet. That's very kind of you. yeah i found it really fascinating because when i first came here and i don't like this term but people would always be like oh you do motivational speaking which i don't consider myself to do because i would think about all the motivational speakers that have come before and they're like loud they're big they're like and i'm like i'm just a little indian guy you know like i'm like that's not my that's not my presence and i don't i don't think that that's the only way to be powerful it's a way um and i and i love move people it's powerful yeah yeah and and and i love what you're saying that it can be done quietly and but it's i find it fascinating that you are seeking that because i think right now when we think about dating in the modern world when we think about whether it's marriage any sort of committed monogamous relationship i think what women and men are looking for sometimes we're all so confused because there's so many versions of what confidence strength attractiveness looks like right for you correct and what's right for you but you knew that was right for you because there was something that was guiding you to that was that intuition was it it happened so quick yeah like it was so quick and I wondered for the first like year I was like what was it because I'm not one to jump in full commitment it was like six months right yeah six months since we first met we not first met like went out on our first date we were married like we were engaged in like two months or something it's amazing it was so quick but there was no part of me that could say no i was so um drawn and compelled by him and i think that was the one of those things was his natural leadership and that comes from his quiet confidence like he would just hold my hand and I felt the need to follow him I'm the I'm usually the person that shows people the way you know so it was just very attractive to me to be with someone that is so decisive and yeah um it's not afraid to show it and doesn't need to scream off the rooftops. Like what Nick says, he can say it to you on this microphone. He could say it home. He's just like, that's who he is. And that was very new to me and disarming and charming at the same time. I love the way you both speak about each other. Like this is so special. I'm like, I'm literally gonna get the two clips of you both talking about each other and put them next to each other. Because no, it's wonderful. It's so wonderful because it's real. It's not easy. Like I said, it requires a lot of humility, even as what you just said. I'm used to being the leader. I'm used to showing the way, but actually I'm really happy to let someone else lead sometimes. Yes, that's what every girl wants, is to be with a man competent enough that you will trust them to guide you in the right place because usually, you know, women are really good at figuring out and navigating through problems, But, like, Nick has this innate wisdom that I trust and that I've always trusted. His honesty, I've, like, trusted. And I think that was one of the first things that I was like, yes, you will be great for life. That's it. That's amazing. That's so good. And I loved it. I saw your congrats on the Variety cover. It was amazing. Oh, thank you. And I read the piece before as I was preparing for this. And I just loved how you said in the article, you were like, I just, because when I hear you both, when I spend time with you both, I've been to your house, you know, spend time with you over the years at different events. You see that love. You see the way you communicate. You see it even when I'm speaking to you both here. There's so much genuineness. And then naturally you talked about the variety cover with the, you know, the negativity that naturally comes with having a relationship in the public eye. And I love that you said you're like, I just don't think about it anymore because we've been together for eight years. it's like you know this stuff doesn't matter almost anymore how hard was it to get to that point to be able to be like you know what now i'm you know we've always been good we're fine like but how long did it take for you to feel i'm not even letting that get to me anymore i mean it's hard i still like will read a comment here or there and i'm like why yeah like what did i do to you yeah Why? Why be so mean? Like, I don't even know you. I've never met you. You've seen, like, some aspects of my life and decided I might be this horrible person or we're not right. Like, why? So it's still sometimes in weak moments will get me, like so many other things, like mean things do. But in general, I think I'm just in a place where I want to focus on the good in my life. And I feel really blessed to have the good that I do. It's not been an easy journey. And to be in a place where, you know, you come out of a storm and the sun is shining and you just kind of like take that moment. And I feel like I'm in that moment right now. Yeah, we like me and Radhi don't obviously have nearly the amount of eyeballs that you guys have on us. but we went through this really interesting period where we'd been together every day during the pandemic and as soon as the pandemic was over riley was so excited to go back home and see her family as so many people were and so riley was spending a lot of time in london after the pandemic because she just missed her family she missed her parents and i did too but i have work here i have my team here i i i've set up a life here and i go back and forth but not as often as she likes to and it was really fascinating because i get a call from my publicist one day she was jay i just got a call from this major publication and they've just been reading on the dark web i was like what is the dark web like i've been reading on the dark web that people are thinking that you and radhi are about to you know break up and like you're not together anymore and that the pictures that you're posting are old and all this stuff and i was like we're in a really good place like we're totally happy actually the pandemic was amazing for us because we spent every day together and fell more in love with each other which was such a blessing to have that and then i we've always had this communication me and radhi where london is such an important part of our identity our family our niece and nephew and so we've always tried to live this la london life as much as we can it's not easy at all so radhi will go back a lot more often i'll run in and out whenever i can and and it was just fascinating to me that like that was even being talked about and and she was like yeah there's loads of people just wondering whether you guys are still together they're still in love whatever and and it was just such a and i remember having the conversation with radhi and laughing at it obviously because we know what we're doing but i was like wow like where do where do people even invent this stuff and then how does it go from we're living in different countries during a certain period of time with with context but you take that to be we don't love each other anymore don't want to be together i was like wow like and and like i said it's nowhere near compared to the eyeballs that you and nick have on you so it's just such a fascinating and i struggled with that and radhi struggled with it where she got to the point where She was like, you know what? I don't want to talk about our relationship publicly anymore. Like, that's what she got. She was like, I just don't want to talk about it because I don't like all these opinions. And I don't, you know, it really affected her. I have a couple of thoughts on how I kind of navigated it. Yeah. One is we're living in a time and a period where we get to see and read the opinions that people have of us. Right. Like before social media back in the day, using the aunties weren't talking in the kitchen. everyone was talking about everything we just didn't hear about it absolutely so nothing's really changed yeah it's just how much information we are smart absorbing so take that power away that this is all the same people that would have talked about you guys even 40 years ago if you were in the position that you're in that's kind of the gig when you become a public person People will have an opinion on you. So protect your sanity by understanding that this is this comes with the job. It comes with the territory. Right. So that's one. Of course, it can still affect you and, you know, hurt because it comes across your timeline and you're like, why? Like, what's the need of it? The second thing that I really strongly believe, it's no one's business, honestly. And that's okay. Like, you share as much as you need to and what feels right. And even within our families, right? Like if you're going for especially Indian families, everyone's in your business. Everyone wants to know all the things. But even there, I believe that if it's not your business, I don't need to tell you. Yeah. And so protect protecting ourselves from the cacophony of opinions is really important. And that's just by like, you've got to do the self-talk. Yeah. And be like, do I want to react to this? Is this a constructive thought? Like, just got to kind of nip it in the bud and be like, that's not something I need to waste my time on. Yeah, I think me and Radhi made a pact earlier, even with the family piece, it was like, we solve our problems together. Yeah, exactly. And if we need to communicate with either of our parents, you communicate with your parents, I communicate with mine, because that's the open line of communication that has been there for decades. And it'll be honest, and it'll be real. Yeah. Whatever your version of that is, I think, just the public scrutiny. And it's for everyone now. There are comments on everyone's socials, right? Like not just people who are in the public eye. Oh, totally, yeah. Like content creators. If anyone who's out there, you have comments. So it's not just a problem of public people anymore. That's just the nature of the world we're living in. Correct. So for everyone who gets mean comments on your comments or on your Instagram or TikTok or whatever, like really recognizing, and maybe young people don't even remember this, but like people always talked. yeah yeah there's a Hindi song Logonka Kaam Hai Kehna Log Kuch To Kahenge Logonka Kaam Hai Kehna yes which means people have to say something so they're constantly going to say something yeah yeah yeah and that's just human beings so like just a pinch of salt sometimes is important yeah while reading that stuff yeah well said good advice I was thinking I want to shift gears because I know we can talk about Nick the whole podcast so we'll get back did we? oh my god no no no we'll get back he did the same so it's fine we'll get we'll get back to Nick and I want to talk about family as well but I want to shift gears to something you said earlier you said to me that actually this is the first time where you're actually using agency to to be in the choice of what speed you're moving at and before there was almost this pivot that felt pushed on you or just felt like the way you had to go and I was reading online about a um there was a director in Bollywood who was saying that Priyanka was treated badly she was like she was treated badly in Bollywood we pushed her out was was his language and and I was like I don't know how that feels when when you're at the top when you've won like you're one of the most iconic people we've ever had in the industry in Bollywood without a doubt like celebrated done every major movie worked with you know every major director every major person and in the industry to me it looked like a win but But that's what, I mean, people are almost coming out and confessing and feeling like, no, we treated her badly. We pushed her out. How do you feel about that when you hear that? I have conflicting thoughts with all of that because I feel like surviving in the movie industry is tough for everyone. It's not an easy place. It's political. It's networky. It's moment-driven. if it's the moment, you're the man of the moment or the woman of the moment. And then the moment's gone, it's somebody else's moment. So it's fleeting. So I am pragmatic enough to recognize that. I feel like everybody has their struggles because of their choices. I did feel like I was in a place where I felt cornered, where work was limited. and in order to survive emotionally, mentally, physically, I just needed to move. And that's always been my answer. I'm not someone who stays stagnant. I need movement to solve my problems. And this time it just happened to be across continents, you know. The hardest thing to do. Completely move, like completely new country. But I was talking to you about the universe, right? So I was in this place where I was doing good work, But I kind of didn't see myself, like I told you, I look five seconds ahead of me. I'm like always thinking ahead is my nature. So I just didn't see longevity the way I wanted it in my situation at that time. And I'm honest about who I am. So, you know, I was never afraid of living my truth. But that's what it ended up being. I felt cornered. And Anjula, who's our common friend, who's for people who don't know, now my manager. But at that time, she ran Desi Hits, which was a joint venture with Interscope Records, which, you know, shone the light on Indian artists and South Asian artists and brought them over to America. And she saw an old movie of mine at her mom's house. it was called Bluffmaster and she was like working with Jimmy Iovine at that time they had just done the Pussycat Dolls version of um J-Hole yeah yeah so there was like that um you know just cross pollination I like to use that word of cultures within music that was happening and she reached out to me you know I heard you can sing I mean that's I can carry a tune with a little bit of help but um not like I used to enjoy it I used to go into the studio sing with my friends you know how in Bollywood movies we have um music as a you know we have a soundtrack to every movie and that's usually recorded with um you know with music producers and I used to go in for those sessions just because I loved seeing how music was made and so sometimes I would take the mic and just sing or whatever. So I had a few songs out there floating around. And I don't know, she got her hands on them. And she was like, you know, let's make you a pop star. And because I was feeling it was like a, the universe kind of just timed itself together. I was feeling very limited in my work in Hindi movies. I was feeling kind of like I don't have a direction to go on. And This was like an olive branch. And I don't get starstruck, but musicians get me. Being able to be on that stage and command with a live microphone, so many people, is incredible to me. So I was just blown away by being flown to London and then from there being signed to Universal, from there coming to L.A. and being in the studio with Will.i.am and Pitbull and just Chainsmokers and work with Red One. And I met the most incredible people during this two-year pop star era of mine, of such a welcome change. It was a breath of fresh air. And this is behind the lens, like what I was feeling. I was feeling like I was drowning and I was suddenly pulled out. And I could breathe. And I didn't know if this would stick or not, but I was just breathing. And I was breathing in excellent company. I was making music that I didn't know how to make. But, you know, there was faith in something in me. And I have to give credit to both Anjula and Jimmy Iveen for seeing something that I didn't see. I was honestly just breathing at that point and really happy to be given an opportunity to work with some of these incredible artists that I had admired for so long. I mean, I spent my 30th birthday with Bono. How many people can say that? It was just so cool to be in that rarefied air of just artists who make music with a guitar and songs that come into their mind. And I was just inspired and feeling a sense of being alive creatively and emotionally. I lost my dad within that phase as well, which was a really big hit for me. So it was a tough like period of five, six years, a lot of change, a lot of full stops, you know, a lot of leaving feelings and things behind and trying to come out on the other side of it. And I was alone because I had moved countries. That was extra layer of tough. I didn't really have a lot of friends. I have a lot of family in America, but everyone's really busy with their lives. So I was bicoastal between L.A. and New York. And, you know, hotel rooms get lonely. And so I moved into an apartment. And, you know, after the music phase was over, I kind of was like, after four songs out there, I was like, I don't know if this is, you know, I'm as good as I would like to. And then Jimmy suggested that I find representation in acting. And I did. And that's how it started. You know, I got Quantico, which was after a bunch of auditions, which was also one of my first auditions in like years. Terrifying in itself, the whole process. Because when I was working in Bollywood, I'd reached a point where, you know, people knew my work, so I didn't, you know, I'd get direct offers. I just, you know, the whole, it's so crazy that as actors we do this. And, you know, rejection is such a large part of part of it, too. But that first time when I walked into that audition hall and there were all of these girls on a chair and I realized they were all here for the same part. It's a crazy feeling. And does everyone like look similar? Is that the goal or like or was that different because you're doing it? It was different for that show because there were, it was written for an American girl, that show, which I clearly wasn't. But I'm an actor and I was like, yeah, I can study an accent and I can, I went to school here. I'm not unfamiliar with the States. Of course. So I, you know, worked on being American because she was an FBI agent and, you know. So I worked a lot on that. I worked with acting coaches. I really wanted to see if I was built for America. Because it takes different gears almost for anyone who's familiar with, you know, Bollywood and Hollywood. It's just the industries are, it's different. So the first few times for me, I spent like about six months in L.A. I was also finishing a movie back in India at that time called Bajirama Stani. So I was flying back and forth a lot And I just was like do I have what it takes first and foremost to do that And which meant kind of erasing my accomplishments up until now, when I walked into a room and I was, it took me a little bit of talking to myself to do that. I was like, okay, what are my choices? My choices are to do limited parts and see what that'll turn out to be like, to do music, which I kind of thought I was mediocre in, or to try and work in a completely new industry, which, you know, you have to start all the way at the bottom again. and that's all right because the edge that I had is I was not new so I knew my job yeah I knew what it's like to be on a big budget movie I knew what it likes what it's like to be the lead of a part like to hold the attention on screen to or even stand on your mark say the lines know where the lights know like I know the profession I know my craft so that's the edge that I have of course over, you know, like someone newer who was coming into that space. And I think that's what really helped me is I focused on my craft. I focused on the job. I took away the noise of, you know, well, you've done like 50 movies in India or even the cover of this magazine. Why should you like that thing that we do to ourselves, which is, you know, you can get in your own way. I chose to get out of my way. Wow. And I don't know which part of my survival helped me do that. I really don't know. It was a really dark period in my life. You know, moving here, being alone, losing my dad, losing like friendships. And, you know, my family, my mom was not here. Nobody. Belonging. Belonging in a rented apartment. Not sure if I should live in New York or live in Mumbai. living out of suitcases for a couple like for many years um it was just tough and i don't know i just i was like i need to get out of my way i need something to give i need something to work and it was many many years of trying to figure out what will stick where i just like put my head down I was like, just do the work. I worked on my scenes. I went in for the audition. I got the job. I continued working on, because that didn't mean that the show gets picked up if you just did the pilot. I continued working on like other things, you know, looking at movies, working with acting coaches, just learning scenes, learning how to speak in the English language. Not speak, but delivering dialogues in the English language. My brain was tuned to improvising in Hindi. I can do that because I've done so much work in the Hindi language. So it was a pivot of my brain as well to be able to read sides in English and deliver those lines. So I worked with a lot of acting coaches, so amazingly talented people, both in New York and L.A. to kind of be able to get more comfortable with that. And, yeah, I just decided to focus on the work and slowly picked up. And, you know, it took a lot of like smaller parts, figuring out, you know, where I land to now, you know, producing the movies that I work in. It was a long journey, emotionally traumatic, in many ways, personally for me. But I'm happy to be on the other side of it. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, when you describe that period of your life as drowning and transitioning away from the industry and then finding air even in the newness of music and how that comes in. And then adding on all the context you just gave us of how hard that time was, whether it was personally with your father, whether it's professionally with new work, new industry. Just not knowing anyone. Just not knowing anyone, the loneliness that comes with it. I mean, it sounds like you said in your own words, it's a really dark time. It was tough. It felt really dark. But I think the fact that I could pull myself out of it with the help of, you know, some amazing people that came into my life, like Ange, like Jimmy, like Dana, my team in India, Natasha. Like, these are people that, like, really held me together at that time when I didn't have friends and family around me. And, you know, we've all worked together now for 15 to 20 years. but you know I was very lucky to have had picked people around me that didn't let me feel the weight and the gravity of what it felt like to me because it may not have been the reality yeah but it felt like that to me and now you know I acknowledge feelings so this is me acknowledging what I felt those 12, 14 years ago. What are we in 2026? This was 2010. 15, 16 years ago. But I felt like that. Yeah, well, I think it's fascinating that we don't necessarily give people the credit they deserve when they're here with us and living on the planet. I always think about that so much. It's such an interesting human trait. I always think about that so much. And I actually started thinking about it after my dad, honestly, because it was such a personal loss for me. And I, there were so many people that came out for, we called it his celebration ceremony, but it's actually the Chota, which happens on the fourth day after you lose someone in Hinduism. And so you give the family like four days to mourn on the fourth day. You know, everyone else can start coming in to give their wishes. And there were so many people that celebrated my father and spoke so highly of him. And I was like, why didn't you say that to him when he was here? He would have loved to hear that. And I have started actually making a practice in my life of reaching out to people, just if I think of them, or if I see good work, or, you know, someone's on my mind, and I haven't been in touch with them for many, many years, I'll just send a text saying, hey, I'm thinking of you, I appreciate you. And it usually like takes people, they're like, what you texted me after 10 years, I feel like it heals me. Every time I think of, you know, seeing someone's achievement or because I would have wanted that. I would want that for me and I would want that for, I think everybody deserves to hear if that you are appreciated or that you mean something to someone or you've done something that moved somebody. Yeah. And we should try and do that while people are on this planet. And it just takes a text or a thought. the more you start doing it it's a butterfly effect of just niceness yeah yeah and i love that you spoke about your father because this isn't about doing it for people just in the public eye it's just the idea of life like this is not at all in the public yeah this is not a public eye thing i'm talking about like nobody needs to know this yeah between you and that person yes correct yeah it's not on instagram yeah that's why i love what you said about your dad like it's just it's a text yeah it's just people need to know while they're here while they're living while they're breathing how you feel about them and for people to be celebrated and honored while they're here with us because you see all the time someone passes away and all of a sudden there's a eruption of love and joy but it's like they weren't experiencing that while they were alive and what a loss what a loss not only for them but for us to even have the opportunity to express that gratitude or notice that about them it's such a privilege to be able to express to someone what you feel for them. As a world, as a society, we don't encourage our young or ourselves enough to be able to be honest when you feel something for someone. Just appreciating people. I didn't know that at all when I was younger. Again, I guess, as you evolve in life. But in my 20s, I was like, my attitude literally was everyone is doing their job. So, you know, I'm doing my job. I'm not appreciate i'm not expecting appreciation so why should anybody else expect appreciation it was so tough yeah that's that hard hard on yourself i i guess i i was um allowing myself to not have the expectation of appreciation because i never got it yes so i think it came my attitude came from protecting myself now i understand this at that time like even a few years back i was like I was like, I don't expect you to say I did an amazing job, or if my scene is right, I'm not expecting the director to be like, clap for me. So why do I have to do that for people? It was like such a tough attitude. But I understood why, because I would not get appreciation. I was navigating this insane new industry, and I didn't want to have to seek it. So I built this wall where I was like, nobody needs it, but you do. Everyone does. And now I've understood that it's just, I don't know what that learning was, but I think just appreciating people is just nice. It's just nice. What do you do when the headlines don't explain what's happening inside of you? I'm Ben Higgins, and if you can hear me, it's where culture meets the soul, a place for real conversation. Each episode, I sit down with people from all walks of life, celebrities, thinkers, and everyday folks, and we go deeper than the polished story. We talk about what drives us, what shapes us, and what gives us hope. We get honest about the big stuff. Identity when you don't recognize yourself anymore. Loss that changes you. Purpose when success isn't enough. Peace when your mind won't slow down. Faith when it's complicated. 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Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and just start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body and mind, inside and out, healthy. we human beings all we want is connection we just want to connect with each other health stuff is about learning laughing and feeling a little less alone listen on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts I think we all go through that phase where you're really blocking something because you're right we don't want to want validation no one wants to want yeah but we kind of like it yeah and then and then you're fighting against that feeling of why do i want it i shouldn't want it and therefore no one else should want it yeah really deep down we all need it because i was saying to someone today like we were talking about the need for usefulness like everyone wants to feel useful yeah we think people want to feel important or significant or celebrated and it's like most of us like good humans are not narcissists or living in it we just want to feel useful and it's when you don't feel useful to someone that you feel valueless and helpless and like did i add something exactly all we want to do is bring something to the table yeah and without having to ask for it yeah you know you don't want to have to ask like do i bring value yeah you know um and especially when you're starting out in any job, you're like, if you're told even once that you bring value, it just, it makes you want to do better work, you know? And I think that why I did that to myself was because I didn't know if I would get it. And I didn't want to put myself in a position where I had the expectations and then I was let down. Of course. So I just normalized the fact that nobody needs appreciation. Yeah. I don't need it. You don't need it. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. yeah we repeat what we reward yeah so if we reward the feeling of oh i don't want it i don't need it we're going to repeat then if we if we reward someone for putting in effort and doing good work that person will repeat it because that's what inspires all of us i really appreciate you going there on on that theme of just how hard that transition was because i think from the outside you make it look easy but no like i said no one's business yeah no business like it's hard for me to talk about personal struggles because there's just so much hardship in the world like i feel really like even what was hard for me it's not as hard as what everybody like there's so many people going through so much worse so there is a part of myself that still is hard on myself um because it's not hard enough yeah your life is not hard enough you're like don't you shouldn't be feeling that way don't be silly like but you know like everyone has struggles in their lives and it it's tough to talk about it because you're like like what was so hard about that yeah just personally it was yeah yeah not in context or comparison to anyone else it's It's acknowledging how you feel. I mean, that seemed like a big transition for you. And when Nick was on the show, he spoke so vulnerably and openly about the birth of your daughter, which was traumatic to say the least. And, of course, amazing. But in that moment, just how heavy it was and difficult it was just for both of you and going through that process. I wanted to ask you if you were comfortable sharing from your heart and your words what that experience was like for you. The whole thing was tough because our journey to Malti itself was really rough. I don't want to get into details because I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it. But it was very hard on me. And she's a miracle baby because she was my only hope at that time to be able to have a baby. So when we were told that she's coming like at 27 weeks, I just shut down. I remember I sat in front of a fireplace in our house for I think like nine hours or something. And for someone who's always so solution oriented, I didn't have a thought in my brain. and Nick was somewhere and he came back and we just grabbed me, we loaded the car and our dogs and we drove. It was COVID time and just the situation under which she was born was so much duress for everyone involved and it was just really intense. She was purple. Um, and like, we didn't know. Uh, the NICU nurses couldn't, like, their little finger was too big for her mouth. how they intubated her was like I still see that image. And thankfully, everything was fine with our surrogate. So we could focus our energy. I was just numb. I just remember I didn't know what to do or how to be useful in that moment. We went with her to the NICU. One of us was allowed at a time. And she cried the first time. And it was like a cat. Like, just like that's all we got. my mom flew down, my in-laws flew down, but we were in the hospital. And it was such a personally traumatic time. But somehow, because we were in and out of the hospital, I remember it leaked. And we got a text saying that it's going to, her birth is going to be put out by the papers. and I don't want to give credence to who sent us that message or which network it was, but that if we don't, they're going to put it out in three hours. So we were kind of forced into announcing her birth, which we wanted to hold on to our own narrative of it, but we weren't ready because we didn't know what would happen with her or how she would be. it was three months almost 110 days we stopped everything we were in the hospital every day with her we did shifts so that she could be on our skin the nurses said from day two of life that we should be doing skin to skin so Nick would sing to her on his guitar I used to have this little iPod which played all my mantras my Mahamrityan Jai Mantra my Gayatri Mantra my Om Namah Shavai like all of it would play all day in like inside her crib just softly there were a lot of people praying for her she was very very desired very coveted and treasured because she was so hard it was so hard her journey to get to this planet and she had like six blood transfusions you know i used to feel like she looked just like nick and i as a combination but everyone says that she looked like him but even in those days like as soon as we would be switching out like she would recognize our voices and smile like just her eyes weren't open but she would have a little like slight smile and If you ever meet our daughter, she has the most glorious smile on the planet, like full face laugh. So it was a brutal time. But I think I talk to myself when I'm in tough situations. Once I got out of the stunned nature of it, I realized how afraid she must have been. So I didn't have the privilege of being upset or afraid. I had to show up as her mom and I had to be tough through it. I had to smile for her. I had to equip myself to take care of a preemie baby and make sure she's the healthiest that she can be. And that's just what my focus turned into. and I was like it is not about me or him and this happened like immediately as soon as that she was on my chest for the first time at almost 27 and a half weeks or like two or three days after and she was so tiny that her fingers felt like butterflies on me she was just like this little one pound, 11 ounces. In that moment, I was like, I will go to the ends of the earth to protect you. It's a feeling I have never felt before. And I think every first time, parent says that. But it's like your heart is beating outside of your body. And especially with her, because She was so vulnerable. I became a tigress about everything, from her nutrition to, you know, her medication to her transfusions to Nick and I as a team. We didn't have to talk to each other. It was just done. We used to look at one another and, you know, we'd have the diaper bag. We'd have like tomorrow we have to tomorrow's her bath day. We'd have the bath like all the little things. Make sure that, you know, she has this much of milk. And is she just every little thing about her to make sure she gets to that weight and just survives was the only order of business. Everything else took a backseat. and the day we brought her home she was still so tiny and I have a big mandir in our house with a big Shivji Zmurti who I really am a big Shiv Bhakti I really believe that you know Bholi Baba has guided me through every difficult moment in my life and I've like sat on his shoulders and we just as a family sat in front of his vision and I think that's the first time I really wept. She was still so tiny, but I just, I wept for the grace that she survived, the gratitude that she was home, that she chose us, that we could make this happen where she could be in this world and have this thriving life. IVF is tough. And everything that contributed to her being on this earth, I was just so grateful for and just relieved. And after that, we had a big haven for her when she came home and her naming ceremony. And then it just became real. Yeah. gosh I think anyone who hears that just you know so sorry you had to go through that and sorry that the family had to go through it together as well and I said I was thinking about it you know because I saw on your podcast when Nick talked about it and um I knew we would talk about it also but um i was kind of thinking about like why i've started thinking a lot about the why's in my life like how did i navigate that because when you're doing it you just do it right you just take your choices you're not really thinking about the why but in retrospect i like to kind of unpick at that a little bit and i was unpicking at it and i guess my choice to have kids at a later stage contributed to this being a really tough journey for me. But if I would have done it earlier, would it have been the wrong time? It wouldn't have been her. So, I kind of made my peace with the fact that this journey came from making the right choice for me and for my biggest flex, honestly, I feel, is I'm living this life with the right guy, with the right father, for this incredible baby that we have. And that was meant to be. And the journey was meant to be. I feel really blessed to be on the other side of it, like I said. But it couldn't have been any other way. yeah so you have to kind of forgive yourself yeah i feel like that overthinking brain yeah of well if i did it this time if i could have done it like this she wouldn't have had to deal with it yeah and then you went through but you're like oh it would be a different soul it would be a different person and it would be different circumstances different like i don't know what that would have been like i can't speak to that whether it would be good whether it would be bad it just wouldn't be this yeah and this is great so you know i can't speak for the parallel lanes of course yeah but that's what the universe for the mind of our life yeah that's what the mind like i always try to bring back to the present and the gratitude of you know our little family and being able to be together yeah yeah the mind plays all those games of yeah sliding doors and and if this, then that, and shoulda, coulda, woulda, and it's fascinating. I love how much faith in your life is such a central pillar of a stronghold of how you, you know, come back to that. And I know that's been there since day one, right, with your family. First of all, I think when you grow up in India, it's kind of ingrained in whatever religion you might grow up in. Faith is a big part of Indian spirituality. And, you know, we are a country of multiple religions. Um, so I was very influenced by just faith in general, the multicultural nature of my family as well. My grandmother's Catholic, you know, um, my Masi is Muslim. My, we were grown up, raised as Hindus, but I went to like a Catholic school. Like it was just a lot of influences. And to me, faith is basically a relationship with something larger than yourself. And religion is your path to get there. And it's unique to everyone and every journey. But I've had a really, really strong faith in my life since I was a kid. both my parents did, especially with Lord Shiva. And, you know, we've been Shiv Bhaks from when we were kids. And that's a big pillar of my faith. And it's really gotten me through really scary times and tough times. I kind of just like close my eyes and go into a little box where I'm just talking to my God. Like I'm just talking to Bholibaba and I'm like, I say my prayer and I'm saying you'll get me through it. And it's like, I feel safe in the box. It's almost like I'm held and somehow I come through it. And that's what it is, right? Like faith should feel like a hug, like a safe place. And my faith has always felt like that to me. Thank you for sharing that. it's uh it's as as hard as it is to hear and also to hear how hard it was for all of you it's inspiring and hope giving i think to so many to to just hear about how you all came together how that hope and that fight and that persistence and the shifts that you both did for you know the months that you both switched for and probably not even seeing each other much in the changeover because you're trying to give time and and the way you both describe her as the miracle baby it's Such a, you know. Yeah. Such a beautiful. Her soul was meant to be here. Yeah. And she clawed her way into life. Yeah. And I will celebrate that every day. And so will Nick. Like we celebrate her every day She literally said that yesterday to me She like Mama my birthday just doesn end And I was like it doesn That amazing We celebrate you every day That's amazing. Because somebody came in and got her a present and her birthday is in January. She's like, that just doesn't end. And I was like, and it won't. That's so cute. Every day. I love that. Well, Parenka, we've reached out to Nick to share a letter for you. that I could share with you. So I'm going to read it to you now. Did he do this on the day you did the podcast? No, no, no, no, no. In between. In between, not on the day. So I'm going to read it to you from Nick. So this is from Nick to Priyanka. So he said, he says, Mai Jan, which I love. I was like, just seeing him write that is beautiful. Wow. He wrote this? This is the first time I'm reading it too, so I've not read it. I always save it because I'm not, I don't like reading it before it comes. So I've never read it. Oh my gosh, I'm embarrassed. He goes, Mai Jan, I'm constantly in awe of the person you are. It's not just the big titles, global icon, leader, force of nature It's how you show up as a mother, a daughter, a sister and my wife The focus and thoughtfulness you bring to every single day Is something I try to live up to Everyone sees the public side of you But it's who you are in the quiet moments that really floors me You have this incredible patience And a way of listening that makes people feel completely safe I've seen people who usually keep their guards way up just let it go all around you. Finding a kind of healing they didn't know they needed. One of my favorite qualities about you is that you truly never judge. You just meet people where they're at and always find the good in people. That's a rare thing. You're a leader in every sense. In these last eight years I've watched you take on challenges that would have broken most people. Whether it's on a set or navigating the massive life change of moving countries and blending two very different worlds, you do it with a fire that honestly lights me up. You've stayed so true to your roots while adapting with a kindness that seems to never run out. I'm so incredibly proud of you. I know your dad is looking down with that same pride, seeing the woman you continue to be. As you talk with Jay today and he better have those tissues ready, just know that Maltimari and I are right there with you. You're the center of our universe. building this life with you is the greatest honor i have knowing where a team gives me a sense of peace i can't even describe no matter what life throws at us i know we can handle it together i love you endlessly nick jonas that's crazy man where are those tissues they're next said promise i can't believe nick i know i'm like nick come on you're like knows his life knows what'll get me it's beautiful um i i love your love uh long may it flourish and continue and thrive and i'm so glad that malta marie has both of your love as well and i hope that continues as well um you've been so kind i hope that was a i know he says it to you every day probably anyway but um he is one to say it he is one to say he's not one to not say it and i think he promised me that very early in our engagement actually he said when he asked my mom for my hand in marriage which he did before he even asked me what a gentleman um but he said i promised your mom that i'll always keep you happy and that's gonna be my quest is your happiness and i'll always tell you how loved you are and you can say that like when you just get mad yeah of course but to keep up with it yeah and to make sure he tells me in little things i was just i told you i was um i'm purging my house at the moment because we've just moved back to la right so i'm like switching it out for what's right for us now so i have this memory drawer in which i keep cards i love the cards that people write me. I love a handwritten note. So I was pulling out all my cards and they're all mixed up. And all of these letters that Nick has written to me over the years and I put them all together and I was just reading them. And right from the beginning, he just always told me. And, you know, it's the simplest thing, but tell your loved ones you love them. It makes such a big difference. Absolutely. Such an important reminder. Yeah. Especially if you can write that well as well. Marry a musician. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Poulter, a psychologist with over 30 years experience helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught to name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy and some compassion. If you want this to be the year you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to The Mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. a new year doesn't mean erasing who you were it means honoring what you've survived and choosing how you want to grow it means giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help i'm mike de la rocha host of sacred lessons this podcast is a space for men to talk openly about mental health grief relationships and the patterns we inherit but don't have to repeat. Here, we slow down. We listen. We learn how vulnerability becomes strength and how healing happens in community, not in isolation. If you're ready to let go of what no longer serves you and step into the year with clarity, compassion, and purpose, Sacred Lessons is your companion on your healing journey. listen to sacred lessons with mike de la rocha on america's number one podcast network iheart follow sacred lessons with mike de la rocha and start listening on the free iheart radio app today priyanka we we now end you didn't do this last time we end every episode with these two fun games that we created one's called would you rather and the other one's gut reaction okay so would you rather is first up so Priyanka Chopra this is your would you rather would you rather play the hero or the villain for the rest of your career in movies obviously yeah thank god yeah I mean I do love playing a bad guy but it would get boring for the rest of your life because I don't know how creative I could get yeah with how many bad guys but I'll say the villain it's more interesting yeah the bluff okay yeah we're gonna get to see you well I'm not a villain no you're not but uh we get to see you do a lot of crazy action scenes yeah you know it's so this movie which um i've done a lot of work with amazon prime and this is another one of our collaborations but this movie is at such a pivotal point in my life because my character um is a former pirate who was known as bloody mary Self-titled. I mean, you can tell why. She was tough and gruesome and based off of like Grace O'Malley from Ireland and many other female pirates that did exist at that time, whose lives were just insane. Like if you read the books, it's like I can't imagine being a female and a pirate at that time. But why this movie really resonated with me is something I said earlier to in the podcast, which is how far would you go to protect your family? how far would you go to protect your children? And this is the story of a mother and a woman who says, you're not coming for my family. One of the most amazing lines in this movie, which I really deeply resonated with is, you come to my home, you threaten my family, and then I kill him. And I say, where's my husband? Where is my husband? Every wife when they're playing golf, isn't it? I love that. That's so good. But, you know, I really, it's, it's, that's what I love about this movie. It's really fun. It's like a bloody gory. It's insane. It's like, I love doing that. It's gory. It's got drama. It's beautifully shot. Based in the Caribbean. What more could you ask? Our director was humongously talented. Frankie Flowers. Yeah, it's beautifully shot. What would you do? How far would you go? And you've lived through that your own version of that so and i will continue to yeah like i'll go to the ends of the earth to protect i saw that in your eye when you said that i was like wow do not mess your eyes don't come from my family your eyes are like jay do not and i'm like i'm like trying to be family i'm like this is like you know this is uh that was i saw that in your eye you're like you're like fully locked in there and i was like okay i'm scared now all right would you rather have to wear your Miss World crown to every major Hollywood premiere for the next year or have to introduce yourself as Miss World 2000 in every room you enter? Oh, neither. Oh, no, that's the worst. One should be a Miss World choice and the other one shouldn't be. Neither. I'm very proud of that achievement for my 18-year-old self at that time, but it's not something I would care to do again. Okay. Would you rather accidentally send a flirty voice note meant for nick to your entire production group chat or accidentally read one of your own romantic texts out loud thinking it was part of the script during a table read well i wouldn't do that but um i may have even done this like i am notoriously known for sending the wrong messages to the wrong okay got it so um i think it would be funny yeah yeah i think it'd be hilarious yeah all right this one this one applies to the bluff as well would you rather film a brutal stunt sequence in one take absolutely nail it but get injured and never be allowed to do your own stunts again or play it safe let a stump double take over and always wonder if you could have done it yourself i have done enough work with incredible stunt teams to know when i can and when i can't wow i'm very very safe and practical yeah i'm not a hero when it comes to set. I don't need to prove a point. I'm a professional. I go to set. I see what I have to do. The bluff, especially. In fact, there's a lot of one take scenes and a lot of injuries that I did get in this movie. But because it's a dramatic performance of a, you know, stunt movie, it really required my face in everything. It required me to convey the emotion of what I was feeling while I was in the stunt scenes so i did a lot of it myself i was trained by um an incredible stunt team my stunt coordinator and double anisha gibbs worked with me very very closely in fact we shot a whole year um the first three months was heads of state while i was filming heads of state i was trained for the bluff that was great thank you yeah it was so much fun it was so much fun so in between shots we would train the sword fighting sequences on set so idris and john would be like We don't use swords in this movie, but we would be training for the next one. Right after I finished that in France, I flew to Australia 10 days or seven days in and started filming The Bluff, which was for three months. So it was just so intense and you were right in. Training happened while filming. Wow. Learning choreography happened while filming. So I would get like a few hours off after finishing a scene and I would go learn my choreo or in between shots. so it was just like very alive and creative and but i'm very safe like i learned very early in my career that the person doing the stunt you have to walk your path even if your stunt double is checked it for you you walk your path you see if there's you know a nail coming out from somewhere if you could get injured if you know where you're falling doesn't have like a protrusion like you have to be really practical in order to be able to pull off stunts and stuff like that you Can't be a hero. I like the pragmatism and the practicality. Very useful. Can't be a hero. Great answer. All right, one last one of would you rather, and then we've got reactions here. Would you rather perform, I think I know the answer to this one because I saw you already do this and it was amazing. Would you rather perform one full Jonas Brothers song on stage by yourself? What? In front of a sold out stadium or open a Jonas Brothers show with a five minute standout monologue about your relationship? I'll do the monologue. You did so good on the roast. The roast is so good. That is hands down still one of my favorite clips of you. Can I tell you a secret? Yeah, please. Nick wrote my roast. No. Did he actually? No, don't tell us that. Don't ruin it. It was so good. But I'm not ruining it. That's our partnership. Yeah, that's your partnership. But your delivery was brilliant. Thank you. I mean, he didn't write all of it. He brought in a lot of amazing contributions. Wow. He's a good writer of comedy too. What can't this guy do? And he knows his wife. He wanted to set me up for success. He was like, you need to lean into this joke. you need to say that and I was like no I don't want to address that he was like so good the Instagram thing was all Nick it was such a good thing he was like you have the most Instagram followers of all three of us combined and I was like I'm not saying that on your own that was so good he was like you have to say it um so you know he he like he was like and yeah that's our partnership where you know we want to set each other up for success I love that what a beautiful Such a beautiful moment for me where he just like came up with his own roast. That's awesome. They were great jokes. They landed so well. Thank you. All right. Gut reaction to your instinctual response because you did the final five with us last time. So we made this up for you. The thing I pretend I'm chill about but I'm not is. Most things. I literally come across as the most chill and most confident. But inside, I'm like a duck under the water. But up front, you don't see anything. So I'm stressed about most things. The most unhinged thought I've had this week was. It's not unhinged, but it's an honest thought. Yeah. Just came up actually in your library. Oh, God. So when we first moved into our house, I was filming a lot. And, you know, we had people who were doing the interiors and helping us with the interiors of our homes. I have a library, which is my pride and joy. And so I walked into the library and the books were color coded. And I was like, what are you doing? Whose library is color coded? Your library was color coded. I was like, Jay, do you read your books? Or are they just pretty? That's so good. You actually read them? I love it. I'm glad. Thank you for being honest. this is good i like it i like it that's good well i have two you will see the one in the house when we go there later today so that's my bookshelf that's my proud enjoy yeah it's all makes the messed up and everything see that's and this was like during zoom days of pandemics it was like yeah everything's yeah exactly you can tell uh great answer great answer um the most humbling mom moment i've recently had was so being a working mom is tough i saw my mom being a working mom and her mom. So I know it's doable. Whenever me or my husband leave, either one of us are with Maltese. If I'm traveling, he's with her. Or we have the grandparents, my in-laws who are beautiful and gracious while I'm doing this press tour there with our daughter or my mom. But I was packing up and I was leaving for a film shoot. I'm working on an Indian movie called Varanasi in Hyderabad. Yeah, congrats. So excited for this. Thank you. This is huge. I just want to point out for everyone who doesn't know, it's like, there's a gentleman who made RRR, Rajamoli, who's making Varanasi. It's amazing. Yeah, this is a great part and an incredible movie and great partners in the movie. So I've had to fly back and forth from Hyderabad like every month because I come back to Malti. Yeah, I literally, my airline status has gone up because of this one movie um but i was leaving and i was packing up and before i leave for a trip we talk about it and we have this invisible string which is in her heart and my heart and you know we talk about the fact that mom has gone for like 12 sleeps or 15 sleeps and um so we're having that chat and whenever she has real feelings she talks to her babies because she is a mama um and she has little dollies which are her babies and um so when i was leaving she was looking at her baby and she says i'm such a good mama i don't leave you and go to work oh she's three and a half that time oh gosh that's heartbreaking so what was the question again yeah that was my humbling moment i was like my toes curled i was almost about to cancel my flight oh my god i was so stressed out and then she laughed and smiled at me. She knew it was a joke. You know, she jumped on me, and I was like, don't say that. And she was like, no, mama, no. Like, she doesn't like getting me or Nick or any of us, like, upset. She's very sensitive to that. So, but I was like, I was thinking about it the whole flight to Hyderabad. I was like, oh, my gosh, trust your child to humble you in one second. Yeah, that is painful. That's heartbreaking. That's not even humbling. That's just heartbreaking. I know. So tough. I know. If I ever have a little girl, I'm going to be wrapped around. I figure that's going to be so hard. It's so hard. Because they have that little voice and those eyes. It's just over. That's crazy. That's crazy. How does it feel to be going back to India to do a movie again after so many years? If there was any film to be done, it would have been this. This is the best way of going back into Indian films. I missed it so much. I missed dancing. dancing. I missed the chaos on set. I missed the creativity. And with SS Rajamali, sir, he's so, his mind is, and his vision is so far beyond limited imagination that just to be able to see what he's thinking and kind of be the vessel to tell that story is great. My part is amazing. I have like a beautiful graph of ups and downs in the movie. My co-actors are great. You know, it's awesome to be able to work with actors who like know their stuff, arrive, you know, on time, like are great to be around, are fun. And, you know, it's been a really, really gratifying journey so far. It's long. He takes a long time to make movies. It's almost been 14 months, but, you know, it's going to be really special. And the journey of it has also been special. In fact, I took Malti to Hyderabad once and she went to the farm and she saw like they have this beautiful farm outside of Hyderabad, which, you know, so his wife, his family, they like run themselves. And it was so much fun. You know, she met like calves and saw paddy fields and like ran around and it was beautiful. I love it. I'm so excited for you, for the bluff, for Maranasi, for your family. Congratulations on it all. And thank you today for just, you know, sharing it as it is and what's going on behind the scenes. What all did I say? What's happening? You know, what's really going on? You can tell me offline if we, you know, got there. I don't know. I don't, like, that's the thing about you. You just black out. Yes. One, when I'm doing an interview, I try not to think about it. But you also have this amazing innate quality of being able to get people to talk about tough things without feeling judged or without feeling critiqued. I don't know what will happen when these clips come out. While we're on this couch, it's real good. Oh, gosh. My only intention is just that people get to talk about the things they don't get to talk about anywhere else. and people get to really understand what's going on when we think we know everything. I think we live in a world right now where we think we know what everyone's going through. We think we know what everyone believes. And it's nice to have an opportunity to create space. And I think it's not just creating space for each other, but hopefully this ripples out into people creating space in their families and their friends and amongst each other. Giving each other benefit of the doubt. Yeah, some grace in space. Some goodness. Believing in people's goodness. I used to think, actually, Nick writes this in his letter, but I used to think that was one of my worst qualities because I'm the worst judge of people. I always see people for the good in them. I don't understand. Why would you have a bad agenda? Yeah, right, right. Like, why would you not be? Yeah, Radhi's like that too, yeah. It doesn't make sense in my brain. Why would you say something to me that you don't mean? Mm-hmm. it's so convoluted and exhausting to think about like but there are people like that in the world and as i've navigated you know many different countries you have to and i'm raising a daughter like i want to be able to equip her to protect herself and sometimes that kind of transparency or just you know oh my gosh what you're saying is probably what i'm getting is not the right thing because you know there are tricky people in the world but um it's just tough on me i've just never been able to navigate that very well yeah that's a good quality as well is it though it's a little too trusting yeah it's it's i mean i guess as long as you have good boundaries when you discover something i think that oh yeah yeah the problem is the discovery yeah the discovery could be terrible it depends or you never discover it you never discover some people are really good at maintaining you know like two-faced nature or whatever yes my husband's great oh my god he's the best judge of character I don't know why he says that about me I like can't tell I'll tell after you show me your cards like after someone does something I'm like that's us but I cannot tell without that well you're a great part great team great partnership Priyanka, it's been a joy, truly. It's been such a joy talking to you again. I'm so glad to have you back on after five years. I know. I'm glad to be in the studio. Please do not wait five years. Please do not wait five years to come back. I hope you'll come back sooner. Yes, for sure. I'm glad to be here, actually, in the studio instead of doing it virtually. Absolutely. You're the best. Congratulations. Thank you. You too. Oh, you're doing production now. Yes. Coming to my side of the business. Yeah, we just announced. Yeah, yeah. It's so exciting. Having so much fun with it. Are you? It's like, you know, when you grew up where I grew up in London, And I would never have believed in a million years that I'd ever have the opportunity to do something like this, especially what I thought I'd be when I grew up. And so the fact that I even have the opportunity is such a blessing and such a fortune. So very excited about the projects we're working on. So proud of you. I tell everyone navigating just your career. and maybe I'm saying this out of experience, but we are living in an incredible time where you can actually think of the most insane idea and monetize it for everyone. This is not just like for me as an actor. In fact, it's limiting for me as an actor. But like you can, you know, go beyond the medium that you've been given. Like you could be a content creator, you could become a producer, So you could write yourself a story and, you know, fund it. You could be enterprising. I tell every person who's navigating this ever-changing world of any, you know, any business that you might be in with AI, with so much change. Like, be enterprising. Be an entrepreneur for yourself. Learn to sell yourself and your strengths. and understand that, you know, the end goal might look really large. Like, you know, you're working with Netflix and you're producing TV shows. Like, that's insane if you tell your 10-year-old self. Totally, yeah. Even my 20-year-old self. Or even your 20-year-old self. But you're enterprising and you know your strengths. And that's just good business. And to be able to be excited about the opportunity is very humble of you. but I would like to applaud the fact that you've been able to build that road for yourself and you've been enterprising for yourself and, you know, built yourself into such a strong business. And that's just what I really encourage everyone to think like that for yourself, you know, and dreams just we're at a time where it's kind of magical. Absolutely. Well, it's people like yourself and even the story you shared today about pivots that may not even be the end point it may not even be the direction of the journey people like yourself i think it's really inspiring when you're at the top of your game you can pivot try something go no this isn't me and then move again and win and it's like that i think watching people do that people like yourself i think have set such a great example for everyone to not and everyone around you will tell you the opposite by the way like when i wanted to start doing this everyone's like Jay, you know your lane, just do your thing, know your lane. And I was just like, well, what is my lane? I didn't know this existed 10 years ago. But that's the worst. It's the worst advice. Never stay in your lane. That's the worst advice because everyone is running so hard to find a lane. When you have something that's unique, which you do about yourself, you can pivot that into anything. Creativity is not limited to a book. If you're a writer, you could write a screenplay. Yeah, totally. You could write a script. You could turn that writing and problem solving skill set into production. You could turn production into direct. I'm just talking about my field because I just know my field. But even being able to pivot and navigate within the industry or the medium that you know is really cool. Absolutely. To open your mind up for that. Never, ever actually stay in your lane. Yeah, well, you've set the standard and you've paved the way and shown a great example. So thank you. Happy to get your mentorship and guidance and all the steer and insights you have for me for sure. I'm so excited for you. Thank you. I can't wait to hear more about it. You're so sweet. If you're feeling inspired by this episode, you won't want to miss my conversation with Wicked's Cynthia Erivo. We are afraid to let a person go and we need to be OK with letting people go. We don't know what path people are walking on when they walk into our lives. We might just be a stepping stone in their path, just like stepping stones in their life. What is something you've had to unlearn about love? That it's earned. That I was unworthy of love. That it needs to be forever for it to count. February is the month of love. Whether you're in a relationship, casually dating, or proudly single, it's a great time to reflect on yourself and what you want. I'm Hope Woodard, host of the Boy Sober podcast, and each week we're looking at love from every angle. Listen to Boy Sober. That's B-O-Y-S-O-B-E-R. On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A new year doesn't ask us to become someone new. It invites us back home to ourselves. I'm Mike De La Rocha, host of Sacred Lessons, a space for men to pause, reflect, and heal. This year, we're talking honestly about mental health, relationships, and the patterns we're ready to release. If you're looking for clarity, connection, and healthier ways to show up in your life, Sacred Lessons is here for you. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike De La Rocha on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if mind control is real? If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have? Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car? When you look at your car, you're going to become overwhelmed with such good feelings. Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you? I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused. Can you get someone to join your cult? NLP was used on me to access my subconscious. Mind Games, a new podcast exploring NLP, a.k.a. neurolinguistic programming. Is it a self-help miracle, a shady hypnosis scam, or both? Listen to Mind Games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.