Thanks for listening to my call of the day, Bonserid by Vibrian Super C Serum, my personal solution for smoother, more hydrated skin. Super C Serum is a full line of skin care products all in one line. Get 37% off plus free shipping by going to Vibrians.com slash Dr. Laura. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on serious XM Triumph and connect with me 24-7 at Dr. Laura.com. Michael, welcome to the program. Thank you, Dr. Laura. Big fan, listen to you for many years, been helping me from afar. Thank you. On various things. Calling in because I have a dilemma with my dad. I'm not sure how to put this. So I'm just going to give you a little bit of background. If that's OK, maybe you can help me through it. Sure. I'll try. I'll do my best. I appreciate that. I'll try. 50. Go ahead. So I'm 54. Madly in love with my wife. She's amazing. Been married 15 years. I have four great kids. I have a great life. Great career. My everything's great, adult wise. But my issue is where I originally came from. So I've been very distant from my dad. In he and my mom got divorced when I was 12. When I was 15, kind of set the tone. They set me down with the therapist. My I'm sorry, my stepmother and father set me down with the therapist to basically let me know that I'm sorry. I mess up. I made a request for my parents got divorced to live with my dad. I was naturally closer to him as a kid. And my 15, my stepmother and he sat me down and basically said, no, I wasn't going to be my feelings were going to be impacting their relationship. So that kind of set along the way through the years, I've tried to do things to have a relationship, be close. And consistently, when there's a wife or a golf or the dog or something was more important. I have a brother and sister and they experience the same kind of thing. Since 10 years ago, they adopted a child. She has a son, a young out of wedlock. And so he's hoping to raise that child. And he's totally acted differently with her and him than he has with my own kids and me and all those things. So I didn't want to be around any of that anyway. And so I've kind of just responded to the same level of warmth as I was getting, basically. So not a lot. And having been invited to Christmas, Thanksgiving, those kind of things, and we've just kind of gone our own way. We spent time with my wife's family and just ourselves. So anyways, here's the question. So he now asked recently, hey, I want to come visit himself. And I. He wants to come visit by himself for what point? What's the point? What did he say he wants to visit you for? The kids and I, oh, I left out one of the things about that same time frame 10 years ago. He told me he didn't want a relationship with my kids. He would rather have a relationship with me. Which so it was kind of like, hey, I know my wife is terrible. And he agreed with me that she was towards me. But he's like, well, I just want to relationship with you. And I'm like, Michael, I don't know how to do that. Yes, Michael, I just, excuse me. I just want to check if you're good at enunciation. So here's what your enunciation test. You ready? Yes. Make this sound. Mm. Mm. No. Thank you. No. Not interested. Too little too late. No. If I were your wife, I'd be sitting there writing it out saying, honey, don't forget to say you're a jerk. Don't want to visit. You're not a dad. You're not my father. You're not anything to me. No. No. I think a healthy version of Michael needs to enunciate that one syllable. No. That's it. You can throw and thank you if you want to sound semi-polite. Not interested. Not interested, sir. Don't call him dad. Not interested, sir. Is this a text or phone call? He's going to call you to come visit, right? Or did he text you to come visit? Because he's too much of a coward to pick up the phone. Which was it? He's called and texted and I've paused because I don't want to. I've been struggling with. Okay. So was his last thing a text or a call? His last thing was a text. Good and text back. No thank you. Have a good life. There's nothing to agonize over. Your mother never should have had sex with this man. I mean, we've missed out on you, but you know what I'm saying. This is her poor judgment that put you in this pickle today. I always find that he's your dad. It's not given from heaven that he's your dad. Your mother had sex with him. That made him your biological father. He never was a dad. And he wanted you to neglect your kids. Like he did. I only want the relationship with you. So you need to neglect your kids to feed me. You want to spend time with this man? There is no changing from that. Come on. Well, and the twisted thing is that I always feel like whatever there's a road, all the sun is a turn. So the latest thing is I kill call on birthday to talk to the kids. So send a card. Putting everybody. You know what? This is a meaningless situation. Your kids don't give a damn if he were drowning. They wouldn't even recognize him. Come on. That's true. But that's the part that breaks me up because I give I care about my kids first. They don't benefit from him. They don't benefit from him. If you care about your kids, what the hell are you agonizing over this man for? There's nothing for them in him. And as he faces his mortality, suddenly he's sending presents. Don't you get it? This is still about him. That's true. It just sucks. No, it doesn't. You have a great job. A great wife. Great kids. Great health. You went through a whole bunch of great. If this little itty bitty is enough to make you say it sucks and you're not really appreciating what you've built in spider-ham. Yeah, I hear what you have. Okay. Good point. Brilliant point. Weight has two points. Unbelievably, a stoop point. In spite of that piece of shit, look what you've made of your life. And you're spending any time agonizing about him, give me a break. You're not going to make me work anymore on this call. Are you? No, I got it. I need a break now. I got it. I got it. You're right. I'm not doing enough. I appreciate it. I appreciate your directness and clarity. Thank you. It's all true. Enjoy your life. Let him go. Block your number. Get on with your life. He doesn't deserve to be in your. 1-800-375-28-72. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.
