Episode 537: Patti Stanger: Why Modern Dating Is Broken, Red Flags, and the Commitment Crisis

Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it. Today's guest is the unapologetic, straight-talking queen of matchmaking, Patti Stanger. You probably know her as the star and creator of the hit Bravo show, The Millionaire Matchmaker, where she spent over a decade helping some of the world's most successful and often most difficult singles, Fine Love. Patti built an empire by telling people the truth they didn't always want to hear about dating, relationships, and what actually what it takes to attract the right partner. She's matched hundreds of couples, written best-selling books, launched her own dating platform, and became the most recognizable voice in modern matchmaking. Today, we're talking about the psychology of attraction, the biggest mistakes high achievers make in relationships, and why Fine Love might be a lot more about who you are than who you meet. So let's get into it. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to thank our sponsor, Momentus. When your goal is health span, living better and longer, there are very few non-negotiables. One of them, quality. And when it comes to supplements designed for high performers, nobody does it better than Momentus. Momentus goes all in on NSF certification, which means every single batch is tested for heavy metals, harmful additives, and label accuracy. And that's why they're trusted by all 32 NFL teams and top collegiate sports dietitians across the country. Here's the thing, they don't sell every supplement under the sun, because they believe in nailing the basics with rock solid consistency, and those basics are protein and creatine. Momentus sources create a pure, the purest form of creatine monohydrate available, an absolute must for both men and women who want peak physical and cognitive performance. So if you're serious about leveling up, go to livemomentus.com and use code GEN for 20% off. Just act now, start today. GEN for 20% off. Livemomentus.com You guys, let me just say who I have, because I haven't even said it yet. So I have Patty Stanger, who is the OG of matchmaking. Correct. My favorite, to me, no one will ever come close to you, because, no, because number one, you're so, your personality, you have like such a captivating personality. You're do say what's on your mind. You're such a good TV personality. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. Well, thank you for having me here. Oh, my God, I'm so happy. If you want to know this, her house is beautiful. The pool in the back is selling me right now. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. So yeah, so hold on a minute. So you, okay, you started telling me a story and I stopped you. What were you saying? Oh, Emily, sex with Emily, is a really good friend of mine and yours. This is how we met. Right. And I introduced her to, well, actually, she became friends with me because my date coach dated her and he wasn't a date coach. I created him and he became this like phenomena. Although I did, he did do something really bad. There was an article written about me and Marie Claire and that became hitch. That was what you were saying. So, they called him up and said, can you give us all information about Patty? And he kind of like thought they were going to pay him and get a credit and he didn't get a contract. He was dumb and they sold me out. And I think it was originally a woman hitch and then the Will Smith got it and created it, you know, to do that. So was it really based on your life? Well, yeah, it was the article in Marie Claire. So, yeah. Because now- I'm sure they're going to say that they got stuff from our rules but there was nobody else doing like makeovers and Silicon Valley nerds teaching him how to talk. No, you really OG. That was me. I'm sorry. There was nobody else that did that. 100%. So people don't know. So she had this show called Millionaire Matchmaker. Correct. How many years ago was that show? I don't even know. It's on Netflix now though. It's on Netflix. I know. It's three seasons on Netflix. Are you getting a whole resurgence in popularity? Yes, from the kids. Well, it's really cute because you'll go to the mall and a mom and a daughter, you know, will walk down the mall and the girl's like 14. She's like, oh my God, my mom, maybe walk your show. And I'm like, and the mom will walk over and she goes, no sex before monogamy. Because they don't want the girls to get pregnant or STDs or, you know, like they don't want their heart broken on a text. And so they'll start watching my rules and then I'll get DMs from them. Little kids, today I had the coolest DM today. So there's a lot of young influencers I watch, especially fashion ones in New York. And Victoria Heigel is one of my favorites. She's the personal assistant on the go. We've never met her boss though. I'm done. And she wrote me back and she said to me, Patty, I love your show. I love watching you. Would you help me, you know, kind of break into Hollywood and give me advice and I'm going to mentor her. And I thought that was so cute. That is so cute. By the way, when are you going to be back on TV? Are you going to be back? We're working on something right now, hopefully, with a network that hopefully, like I was on TW about two years ago and the network was going into the sports arena. I did really well in the network. We hit the demos. Everything was great. And then, and Nick Hall was my co-host on it. I mean, sorry, Nick Vile was my co-host on it. I don't know who that is. I saw you had videos with Nick. You know Nick Vile? He's like from the bachelor. You got to keep on. No, I know. He's from the bachelor. The kids will know. Yeah. But he's going on another show. And anyway, it was really great, but it was the wrong network. I love CW. Always have. Wrong network for us because it's more sports now and they're going in a men's direction. Because there are guys from Dallas who own this. You know, they're like sports guys. And so I need to go back to my roots and we're trying to work with, you know, maybe NBC Universal. But the truth of the matter is that the way the format was back then, it worked really well. I would think it would work now, too. I'd be scared to. Well, we can't yell and scream. And I can't, you know, like, you know, Trisha Paytas, I said something like, lose weight and change your clothes. And she's now this big star. And her people start coming for me because I gave advice. But you have to understand the advice I gave. I gave advice that if you came in and go, I want a millionaire, male, female, gay, straight, I'm telling you what the millionaires thinking. So if I make you straighten your hair, it's because millionaires were not attracted at that time to curly hair or wasn't in style. So I'm giving you the lay down. I'm not saying you need to lose weight for me. I'm saying that's what the millionaire was thinking. Well, you know, it's funny, right? Because you were just being honest. Yeah. And at the New York style. New York style. But I think it should be everywhere personally. Straight shooter. Be a straight shooter. And the truth is what you actually said or what is actually true, now it's become like faux pas. We're not allowed to say anything. No, we have to be nicey-nice. And, you know, but then the kids aren't leaving home. They're living in the basement. So they're waiting for their parents to die. So you can take over and inherit. And they don't have hustle. None. You know, and that's what your show is about. Like there's no, there's no hustle. So wait. So if you expect a free ride, okay, that's not attractive. No. That's not sexy. That doesn't have je ne sais quoi to it. So I can't help you. 100%. How would you say, I guess this is my first question. How would you say the dating landscape has even changed like changed from when you started to how it is now in 2026? Well, the technology has changed it, but not the biology. Even though we believe in the wellness community, and I'm sure you're going to believe what I'm going to say, that men have become feminine energy females because the plastic and the water, especially the water they gozel at the gym, disrupts their hormones. And they don't have that rugged, I'm going to chop wood, the aliens are invading, let me get you out. They don't have, or let me take care of you. Let me pay for dinner. Yeah. Pay for dinner. Instead of going 50-50, or even you pay because you make more money. So they don't have that, that strong rugged veneer. And we believe that the plastic has disrupt the hormones and created less testosterone in the body. And this is why the fertility rate is down. Do you really think though, that's why men have become more feminine? Well, there's two reasons. One, women became more successful. Even though we don't get equal pay for equal dollar, they're more women in college. But there's more women biologically than there are men. So there's not enough men for the women to go around. And that's one thing. Second thing is, once you started making money, they got lazy. They're like, you made money, you pick up the bill, you make the reservation. But we as women were nurturers, we did everything. So can you imagine we did everything for you? We took care of your children, we took care of you, we made the dinner, we cleaned the house, we made the reservations, and now we're paying? No, no, no. But I think it's changed where there's more, women have become more masculine in general in their energy. And men have become more feminine. I don't necessarily think it's because of the microplastics. Oh, no, no, no, it is. It is biologically, I've studied this. This is a wellness problem. I have studied this. It is not a hundred percent because we got successful and we had to take care of ourselves. We were in survival. We had no choice. If the man didn't step up in our late 20s and 30s to marry us and take care of us and say, I'm buying you a house from doing this or that, we had to survive. There was nobody paying our bills. We were not a generation, especially you and I and Emily. We are not a generation of our parents taking care of us. So we didn't have what these kids have. Right. Everybody gets a trophy and everybody gets to survive. We were like, they kicked us out of the house. You get a roommate, you find an apartment in New York, you get a job, don't call me. That's what we were like. We were not the girls' generation of that first episode. That was really funny on the first episode of Girls where the parents are professors and cutting off. And she's like, what do you mean? They're like, we've been paying you for three years. My mother would never, my mother's like, I'm sorry, you want that, go by it yourself. So that's why. But the other thing with the men and just getting back to your point and then you can, I'll finish. The men, okay, have lost their drive. They're tired. You know, when Wall Street crashed, you never saw so many men crying. And then the woman going, screw you. I'll take your job for half the price. I'll make more money than you and I'll be the leader on Wall Street. And that's what happened in the banking crisis. Like nobody realized that. So women became like resilient, wonder woman, and men resented it. That's why they date a woman lesser value than you. They might be a young girl who's naive and doesn't know how the world works, but she's pretty. And that's why a Brad Pitt goes for a 30 year old girl. Because Angelina challenged him, you know, and she didn't take crap. She left them. Most women who are taking crap right now, they have to look at themselves and go, where does that come from? Because why do you need him so badly that you would take the crap? So it's either financial, I need to pay the bills, or B, I'm codependent. And that's all I know because my mom was like that. My grandma, there's like that's ancestral. So would you, okay, that's a good segue into the age gap situation, right? Correct. So don't you think there is a double standard between men dating young and women dating young? Absolutely. But it doesn't work in the reverse. It really doesn't. I mean, I don't want to lie. There's very few, 10 years, 12 years, okay. So you're a 25 and a woman dating a guy, you know, I'm 50, I dated a 25 year old. I agree. I mean, like, there's no life. There's nothing in common. Right. It's just sex. What are you going to talk about? Nothing. You don't even have the same music taste. But when a man does it, he's mentoring, he's nurturing, he's grooming. And then the woman's like, and it's, and a Birkin with that? Okay. You know? Well, that's, I think that's become like the trend, right? Like if a man is a little bit successful, they will date much, much younger. But I feel like- But not all men. See, my club, a millionaire, in millionaires club, my club, we have a lot of women over 50. They're coming in, they're spending the money, and they're like, I need a man equal or better. And I need a man in my age group. You would be surprised how many quality men are showing up. They're not on the apps. These are not, these are gems that my recruiters and my staff find. And they're like, I've tried the apps, I've dated younger girls, and I hate it. I want some of my own age. I want to grow old with my best friend. Right. But I can have sex, best friends that I can have sex with. Cause you know, I would, I would also think that it's been a reversal, right? It used to be in these mat, in like these dating situations, they would search out women and women don't pay. Now I feel like this, but you said there's so many more women who are single than men. Well, on the apps, you're seeing this on the apps. It's not the- No, in general. I would- But I'm saying like, it's not the apps fall. It's the way that there's a lot of desperate women, not, not the group that's got worked on themselves, healed themselves, said, okay, if you treat me badly from the first red flag, I'm not going out with you again. You know, like that's it. We're done. I saw the red flag, we're done. Other women will take the red flag. Oh, he didn't mean it. Oh, it's just one time. He apologized. And those are the codependent people that will go for those men at all costs and chase. And that's not attraction. A woman is supposed to attract, okay, not chase. So, right. So that's why you don't like the fact that women shouldn't text a man, woman. No. Mirror what he does. He texts you. You can wait a couple of hours to text him back, but mirror what he does. If he ghosts you, ghost him, block him. Now, here's the reason why, because he's basically testing you how much abuse can I give this woman. And you are not the top of the totem pole. You're not the one on the top of the roster. He's got other things going. Men are dating multiple women. Get it through your head. And they're picking the one that has self-respect and love for themselves. Those are the ones they're picking. They're not picking the girl down on her luck. Now, could they pick someone at a lesser value? Like I don't make as much money. I make a hundred grand, you make a million a year. Absolutely. Cause that makes him feel good and in power. Powerful, yeah. But you shouldn't demean yourself because you got successful. Like these, I'm watching all these dating experts on Instagram. You know, the, you know, the whole age of feminine is dead and we're being blamed like Vance did, you know, Vance blamed single women for being successful and not being married. Well, we'd all get married if the men would step up. I want to tell Vance, message understood, but message wrong. It's the men. Men are the leaders. Men are the ones that go out and hunt. We're supposed to sit here, look pretty, smell good and smile and wait for him to come to us to receive us. And then we decide what the best offer is for us. That's what it's supposed to be like. Well, that's why my, my initial point was I just don't, I've noticed that there are not that many alpha men as they're used to do. Correct. Especially in California. Especially in California. LA, do not come here if you want an alpha man. And I warn you now, stay away. Okay. Not Orange County, not even San Diego, you're not going to find it. And Silicon, their hair down to their ankles living in their houses. It's really, so where do people find alpha men? Alpha men usually are on the East Coast, especially the South and the North. Like where? Give us specifics. Midwest men too. I would give Midwest too. Midwest and East Coast, those are them. You got to go around the perimeter and Texas might have alpha, but they're subsections of Texas like Houston and Dallas. You want to get more into the country. Okay. So that's, that's okay. So ladies listen up. Okay. Now how about this? Cause we were, we were saying something earlier as well because I don't want to lose the track, but you were saying something about, I want to hear about red flags. So what are some, what are the top three red flags that people should look for? Okay. The first one is an addiction issue. Okay. And there's a lot of them going on there. A lot of drinking, a lot of pretending they don't drink or do drugs. And it's both sides of the aisle. But if we're looking at men, men tend to absorb alcohol more than women and can stand, stand like girl goes past two drinks. She's going to get loose. Okay. So I would look for addiction issues. How much alcohol is he drinking throughout the night? Is he drinking when he calls you? Like, is he doing drugs? And you want to find those things out. Yeah. Second thing is, is he talk a lot about the X? Does he, does he pump and dump and they're like, Oh, is it terrible divorce? Yeah. And the third thing, if you're an older woman, I hate to say this cause I've never been married and don't have kids, but I've been engaged and I've raised my ex as kids. When a man doesn't, hasn't been married at a certain age, at least once and had at least one child, you're in trouble. Right. What age is that? I'll give it to 50. Okay. I'll give it to 50. That's high. I mean, I would say I will be nice because we're living in a delayed adolescent society, you know, but I will give it, if a man's 50 and he hasn't had a child, and he hasn't had kids and he hasn't like been married at least once. Unless there's some tragic story like she died or whatever. I don't want to hear it. 50 is old. I know. I mean, I'm not actually gave 45, but now I'm giving 50. Wow. Yeah. I thought you're going to say 40. I mean, I'm generous here. I thought you were going to say 40. Yeah. I'm going to say generous. Okay. 40 is because they don't, a true millionaire doesn't make money until he's 40. So that's when he's on the hunt for the wife. He's making money in his 30s. He can make money earlier now because of, you know, AI and all the tech stuff, but a real millionaire statistically has always been by 40. Yeah. But a lot of times people are like making, you know, kind of like creating, like basically creating their career profession while having been married. Yes. And then they usually would leave the wife and go to another one. That's a whole other story. He leaves for the secretary. The younger her secretary. Yeah, the secretary. That the wife always knew. Right. But she could never catch him in the act. Right. But the thing is like, I've never heard as 50 is it's good. It's okay or acceptable. Because they're getting back because we now know the average median age of marriage is 29. So fertility is down, sperm count is down. And so what's happening is, and by the way, we found out that the eggs can go on forever and the sperm count is decreased. It was opposite what the doctors told us about the geriatric pregnancy. Wow. Yeah. That's all been new science. I study alchemy of attraction and science of what's going on in the dating and fertility markets. And so this has been a sad story. They've told us that we had to get married, have a baby by 35. We were screwed if we didn't. But in the meantime, the marriage count is down. So as far as age goes, so that means that if that's down, they're waiting later to get married and that they could get married by 40. Look at Hollywood. Well, that's... And a lot of us have, a lot of us we see in Hollywood not married and have a child at a wedding. Like, I know somebody going through something right now where she's just implanted embryos and they're engaged, but he won't marry her unless the eggs, okay, are perfect. And he wants a biological child. Really? Yes. I mean, that's narcissistic in my eyes, but whatever. Because I'm an adopted child. So I believe you can adopt. There's many different ways you can have children. Surrogacy, there's plenty of different... We have a lot of good ways to have kids now. Did you ever want children? Always. Always. Always. Well, it probably is from 30 something on, yeah. So what was your path? Like, what happened with your life? I picked bad men. You did? Mm-hmm. I picked what my mom picked because I was programmed by my mother. No fault to her. My grandmother and my grandfather had an amazing marriage. So I saw both sides of the street, but I picked bad men. I was very sexually driven. Really? I didn't care about money. I just wanted a hot guy. Until when? Until I realized I was paying the bills and I was exhausted. Is it really? Yes. So because how... And I'm never doing that again. I am never doing that again. So what... How did you... I'm curious, like, what was your evolution? Like, how did you become a matchmaker? They all had inheritance though. I have to caveat that. They all had inheritance, but you know, we can't... If you get married, you don't get the inheritance. Yes. You know that, right? So... But they all had inheritance coming. It was like money down the line, but they didn't have money right now. And also, they didn't make it themselves. So that to me is also my attractiveness. No. Well, one of them... Yeah, they didn't make it themselves. One of them was like on the cusp, but never got there. Okay, so wait a minute. So... But how did you become a matchmaker? What were you doing before? Oh, my grandmother and my mother were matchmakers. And when I was 16, I loved this boy in school. He was like the hottest guy, but a badass. And I don't want to say his name, but he was Catholic. And so they would go to these Christ Church dances on Friday night. Me, the Jewish girl, got all my Jewish friends and go, come on. Because those were the hot guys. And we went to school that day and planned our escape from our parents because God forbid they find out. Nice Jewish girl going on. And I got busted by the priest who was actually hot. And he said to me, come in the back and he's smoking a cigarette and he's drinking his wine. He says, you're not supposed to be here. And none of us had Jewish star necklaces or anything like that. But you knew. And he goes, what are you here for? And I said, well, I like this one boy and he's like, you could do better. And I had done something really smart. I had taken the boys on one side and the girls on the other side and I brought them together and they started dancing and talking. He had never seen this at a dance because he could never get them together because they wouldn't listen to him. And he goes, I can't believe you did that. And my best friend ended up marrying the guy at the dance. They lost touch with each other and then years later they connected and they got married. It was kind of a cute story. Wow. And so I told him I had a crush on this boy and he said, oh, you could do so much better. He's so bad. Like he's derelict. He basically was, but a hot derelict. Really like a Brad Pitt legend of the fall derelict. Wow. And he was always on my bus and looked like stoned out of his mind. And so he said, I'll tell you what, I'll let you come here every Friday if you could get the boys and girls to dance every week. And I did. And that's how you started? That's how I started. But my mother always said I was going to be a matchmaker. And I was like, never, never. Because my mom, my mom was married one time. I was born already. And he basically cheated on my mother, very Mrs. Maisel. And my mom left him and she went back to her live with my grandparents. And my grandmother was like, this is a, what did we say? Nobody gets divorced. It was like a time when I knew. And so my grandmother trained her to meet her next husband who ends up raising me and my dad. And the phones went off. Like, you know, like everybody was calling my grandmother, fix me up, fix me up, teach me what to do. Because everybody was getting divorced. It was like the seventies and everybody was getting divorced. And so then the rabbi called my grandmother and said, come on, I need your help. Like, what are we doing? Because all the husbands were leaving their wives for younger secretaries. Wow. And so that's how you became a, so then how did the show happen? Like the show happened because I worked for great expectations and I ran this big company. It was nationwide. Tell people what it is. It was the first original dating service, like a dating service. It was like Meshachon before Meshachon went online and I worked. How did it work actually? I don't remember. You go into the office and you'd pay like $5,000 and then you'd swipe through pictures and videos and it was based on mutual consent, kind of like match. And so, and I would tell them, you know, what to do and what not to do. And they never listened to me. And when match went up, it was like, we should be online. We should be the so-hass of dating before so-hass went up and they didn't listen to me. So anyway, I worked there and then I was engaged and my engagement broke off and I couldn't look at anything in Florida. I was living in Florida. Oh my God, that's where we had dinner. That's where we went swimming. That's the gym we went to. Like I was devastated. So my mom's like, you went to film school. Here's your chance to get to Hollywood and break into the business. So I go, okay, I need an adventure and off I flew to California with a dollar in my pocket, knew one person and lived in the marina and I, my cousin lived here and she was producing movies. She's like, good luck getting in the business. Now look at me. And so I was always like, yeah, watch me. I was that girl if you watch me, but I had a friend who said to me, I made a new friend and she was doing this millionaire thing with dating and then she's like, oh, I could do it better. And she's like, well, don't, you're never going to be able to do it because it's never going to work. So I would go to matchmakers that I knew in town because I knew a couple of them and they would fix me up. And for every Gentile boy, I liked Gentiles and I was Jewish and I gave two Jewish boys to them. They'd give me a Gentile date and they sucked at it. Sucked at it. And all the daters would complain to me that how bad it was. I went on one date with one guy. He really liked me and he said, oh God, you're exactly what I want. He was a Mormon and he was cute, but he wasn't my type emotionally. So he said, what if I give you money? You could fix me up. Ding, ding, ding, had credit card debt, needed money to live on. I said, okay. And my mom's like church 10 grand. She gave me the price. I'll never forget that. And I said, what? And so I took him like shopping over Beverly Hills, redid his wardrobe, decorated his house in Hermosa and he had to truck that he wouldn't give up and it smelled like fish. And I kept saying you need, I don't care if you get an SUV, but you need a nice one, like a Porsche. Took him to the Porsche dealership. He got it fixed up with his first girlfriend, turned out to be his wife, got married, tell 10 friends and my business. But the first person I fixed up with was somebody of Muslim descent, unfortunately. And he met his wife on that first date and canceled the check. And from that moment, I changed the industry. Nobody takes a check. We all take wire transfers now because I changed the entire industry because credit cards, you get charged backs. And if you give a check, somebody could cancel it. So wire transfer, then you fix them up. Really? I learned the hard way. So how much do you charge? I charge 150 and up. 150 and up. 150 K and up. Yeah. And what do you get for 150 K? I'm into dating based on a period of time that we think is appropriate for you, plus a full service staff. And you get my number, my business partner, Bonnie Winston, who's in New York. We have an office down on Wall Street. So you're getting a nationwide plus Canada. And we also do international as well. And how do you find the people? We have our resources. I can't give you my recipe, my trade sequence, but I will tell you, we have boots on the ground. We have the largest database in the business. And everybody knows. I mean, if I make a text message or via DM, someone's responding. Did you know Americans spend an average of 90% of their time indoors? But do you also know that indoor air can be up to 100 times more polluted than outdoor air? Well, you can breathe easy with Air Doctor, the award-winning air purifier that eliminates 99.99% of dangerous contaminants like allergens, viruses, smoke, mold spores, gases, and so much more. Air Doctor was voted best air purifier by Newsweek. So it's no surprise that 98% of Air Doctor customers agree their home air feels cleaner, safer, and healthier. Unlike other purifiers, Air Doctor captures invisible particles 100 times smaller than standard HEPA filters. So head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSL40 to get up to $300 off today. And Air Doctor comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee plus a three-year warranty, an $84 value. So get this exclusive podcast only offered now at airdoctorpro.com. Use promo code HUSL40. Are you guys using Instagram to find men and women? Men are not Instagram. We use that for women. Men are in sports networks. Like what? Give me an example. Golf. We're connected to a lot of country clubs, a lot of hotels with concierge, high rollers in Vegas. We deal with the one-percenters. Yeah, so are you- So we're dealing with ski resorts. We're dealing with, like, St. Bart's, although that was crazy this weekend. A lot of people couldn't get out. We deal with high-end concierge services such as airports, you know, like private airlines. So when you say you deal with, what do you mean? We deal with the people that work with those people. And we deal with people who know people, who know people, who know people, who know people. Private clubs. There's 17 million private clubs going up every minute right now all over the country. And we deal with- we know where the men are. Like we know boots on the ground where the men are. So are you finding dates for yourself? I don't date my clientele. I have a rule. So I have a hard time with that. So you have to fix me up. Yeah, I will. And LA's not that easy. I mean, we usually take the LA girl and make her go to Arizona. Really? Arizona is a hub for that. Lot of golfers, lot of retirees, lot of wealthy men. Yeah, or we'll go to Montecito, you know, Santa Barbara. When you say go to, like, are they moving there? No, they're worse. Like, I don't recommend, like, I don't recommend a woman over 50 dating in LA proper. We might get every so often, but I will redirect her somewhere else. When you say that, do you want them to move somewhere else? No, the men will come to them. Yeah. But when you say that, they should go to. What do you mean? In other words, like, I don't mind dating a guy from Scottsdale because I love Sedona and Scottsdale. But how do they meet? That's my thing. They meet through us. Through date. We concierge and arrange the date. Got it. Okay, so we- We do everything. You don't have to- it's basically put your lipstick on and go. That's all it is. And we do everything. On the men's side of it, I mean, I just had six different men just joined this today, actually. Like, big ones. Like, one celebrity you would know. And so I'm doing everything for him. He charged- I charged him 350. So I'm doing, like, everything. Like, his assistant is licking my ass because she cannot believe that I'm doing everything where she's been doing what I've been doing for years, like, you know, going to a Vegas party and trying to find five girls from him. And I'm like, stop that nonsense. I have to look under the hood of the car. I'm also psychic. I was born psychic. I read vibration. That's what you saw on the show. I'm, like, looking at people's energy. I have guides. I talk to them. So I'm looking at a lot of other stuff that we're not just doing surface stuff because it has to be a match on both sides. So I've got to look at what's his lifestyle like. How does he treat women? Do I have to change some of his behavior at the same time? Can that woman go at his pace? Like if he's the millionaire and she's going to drop everything for him, is there a balance or is he going to use her? Like there's a lot of stuff I look at because I don't, I want the women protected too. And when it comes to the millionaire woman, I'm trying to get equal or better for her. So it's a little different. So for 350. And I do gay, by the way. You do. Yeah. I just don't do trans because I don't really know how to do that. So you do for, so if someone's paying you $350,000, what do they get for 350? They don't get for 150. They would, okay. So 150 you would get one person below me, a matchmaker that I've trained. They've been certified by the matchmakers institute as well as me. We have a millionaire training certification program. We don't just go, hey, I'm a matchmaker. There's plenty of those out there. I actually am training them from the ground up, like as though my grandmother's secret recipe. And then if it's me, you're paying more money to get me because you want me on call. You want to talk to me. You want to vent. I had a guy last week who fell in love with my first girl I fixed him up with. And I said, don't call it in. Don't make her exclusive just yet. I see what else, because I wanted him to go on two, three more dates. Well, he went on a plane and he met someone and he goes, I don't know how to do this. He's like awkward, a little bit on the spectrum, but handsome. So I said, I'm going to tell you what to say. And I became Cyrano and I went in his texts and I basically did all the text. And he got a date with the girl and he went on two dates and I arranged the third date for him. So I'm concierging inside the service as well, outside the service, because my goal is to get you into the best love relationship of your life. Like if God said to me, what is your one wish? I'd say everyone has their soulmate in humanity. He go, but you're out of business. I'd be like, that's okay. That's why I'm here on the planet. And I'm okay with that. I work for God. And do you like doing it still? Yes and no. It's difficult. You were talking to me about your boobs for babes or babes. Oh, babes for boobs. Yes. And it is an exhausting job. Yeah. It is not easy. It is not for the fan hearted. You deal with personalities. You can't even imagine screaming, yelling, violin, blah, blah, blah. I am like a therapist, a psychic, and a matchmaker rolled into one. Like it's a lot of work. But I'm used to it and it's like breathing. Like if I was at the grocery store and I saw, oh, my friend's in the grocery store and that guy's in the grocery store, I put them together. It's just auto. Yeah. I'm not auto. I'm the same way though. I feel like my track record's been pretty good actually with it. That's amazing. Yeah. And I do it because I like it. And I want more matchmakers. I wrote a book called Become Your Own Matchmaker in Amazon. It was the best seller because I wanted other people to do it for themselves as well as their friends and family. Well, I think the number one thing is not to be like, you have to be bold. You have to be proactive. You've got to be proactive. But you've got to be proactive. But we're like animals in the wild. When we want to mate, there's a smell and a signal they send out. We're the same way. We have pheromones. The problem is, is the men walking across the bar to ask you out because of COVID, because of the Weinstein effect, because of me too. They're afraid. They're chickens right now. They're very afraid. You're going to cancel them. You're going to say something online. There's a group now called, they're be dating the same guy and putting people's pictures up and destroying their image. But sometimes it's worthy. Sometimes it's some jerk who's going out and hurting women left and right and they deserve it. But not everybody does. And it's male and female, by the way. So it's a scary time to date. It is. I think it is a scary time. I wouldn't want to be a guy right now. No. It's better now than it was many a year ago, but it's not great still. But also it's also unrealistic. We've got men looking at Instagram with these perfect looking filtered girls. And we're going, what? I can do that? And I'm a zero? It's the only town where a zero can get a 10 and think he can still do better. The problem is there's so many ways now for people to access dating, where I feel that people are not taking that dating seriously. It's all like situations at any age. People just taking scroll to the next person. But this is the thing. If you're like my old assistant ended up with our situations. But it was two years of heartbreak. And he had left the country, come back, moved in with her. I don't recommend this because of what the roller coaster she went. And there's damage to the brain and the body and the mind for what happens when you go and allow someone to abuse you. So your bar should be your bar. Like in other words, stop allowing these people, male, female, gay, straight to abuse you. If the guy doesn't love you, get over the fact he doesn't love you. Work on yourself rather than trying to get the guy to love you. Because it's not, even if he does come back, he's going to do it again. He always is going to test you. It's his nature. It's the scorpion and the tortoise. You know that story, right? Yeah. You want to tell that story? You can tell. You're the guest. You're the tortoise. The scorpion, you know, says to the tortoise, can I ride across the river? And he's like, I don't know, you're a scorpion. He's like, no, no, I promise I won't sting you. And of course he takes him across the river. And what does he do? He stings him. It's his nature to test you and abuse you. And if you allow it, he will keep on doing it. Do you think there's any type of variation in men? Like some men who are more noble than that? Or do you think across the board? A lot of times what I found in my relationships. The minute I was done in my brain and in my body, not so much like I took the action to block and whatever. But the minute I felt that, oh my God, I'm over him. Like you run into him and you're like, I went out with him. What the hell was I thinking? Now you know you're over it. They fall in love with you. They call you. They won't. My ex is like, please, you're the only one. I want to marry you. And you've all seen him on TV. And I'm like, yeah, not happening. So why? That's 100% accurate. I see that all the time. But why is that like energetically? The whole time he was with me and treat me great. Now he wants me to marry him. Why? Because psychologically, men are programmed to hunt. How do they know if you're not having any contact? Okay, think of this. The hunter is hungry. Yeah. Right? He's trying to kill Bambi in the woods, right? But Bambi's like, I'm not going to let you have me. I'm not going to let you have me. And he gets hungrier and hungrier and hungrier till he can't handle it anymore because he's got no food. You are his source of energy. You are the muse. You are the one that give women, give the life force. We birth. It's all natural. So if you think about it, they need the light. They need the light from you. Okay. Don't give it in the light unless he deserves the light. What about, okay, okay. So there's a million things I want to go through here. But first of all, I want to finish with the demographics here. I think people find this interesting. So you're saying LA terrible. Oh, awful. Awful. So that's the number one city because of the dayways. It's the most singles in the United States, but you know, they're metrosexual. Don't come here. Yeah. Number one. And I agree with you. Okay. That's for sure. So then you're saying Arizona, what? Arizona has a lot of retirees. So we're talking an older community that they can buy really big. Older like what's the age bracket? We're talking. 40, 8 and up. So they have a community of country clubs or building up these hotels. The global ambassador is a hotspot. You want to go spend a weekend there. That's a fun place. Great food and everything. Would you say the number one Arizona? I would say Boca is number one. Boca is number one. Boca has more men than women and they all came from New York and now with the Mondami effect and the Copa Law, which I don't know if you know, they're trying to seize your property. You can Google that. You can Google that because we'd get in a whole episode on that one. So you think Boca? Yeah. So they're all going to come down. They're all coming down to Florida. Okay. Always Florida. And there are more men in Boca than there are women. So why is that though? They all want to live in the country club house. You get a house behind the gates. You get to play golf and be in a community. It's very easy to make friends that way. Very easy. So if you were moving outside of Fort Lauderdale on a house on the street, you're not going to make friends. But with these communities behind the gates, they're retiring, they're bringing down their businesses. Everybody works from a computer. Nobody works in an office anymore unless they have to. So think about that. So Boca is number one. But I would say Boca is number one. How about Miami? Miami is good. But it's very saturated. And also it's young. It's young. What would you say it is? So Miami, like South Beach is gay and Brickles young. You gotta chop it all up. You know, North Miami's got a lot of international communities, very South American. If you like the South American community, North Miami's really good for that. Really? Okay. I just got back from Miami. I saw... I love South Beach. That's where I was. I love the one hotel. My friend is an apartment next door and I always go the one. I love it. Love walking on Lincoln Road. They're going to rebuild it. I grew up part-time in Miami. I went to University of Miami. I'm a cane. And so my grandmother lived there and Hollywood on the beach and I lived at Hollywood on the beach. So it's a great area. I love it. However, it's very saturated now. It's like a lot of traffic. So I would say maybe go North because the men don't really like... They don't like driving. They don't... They're not drivers. I didn't see a lot of like... I didn't see very many single men or... Right. That's why you go North. Right. Delray and Boca. Delray and Boca. You go to Delray and you can go... West Palm Beach is really... West Palm Beach is blowing up right now. For how about for single women? Are they just everywhere? And by the way, Jupiter, if you are... Jupiter is a good one too. If you're a conservative Republican and you want a strong, rich Republican man, you go to Jupiter. Yeah. Because that's where Mar-a-Lago is. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. So Miami... Okay, we've got the floor to stuff. So Arizona, Boca number one. Also skiing is a great way to meet people. Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I wouldn't say Aspen is kind of metrosexual. I... That... Valus family. So I would put Jackson Hole on there. What's the one in Sun Valley? Is that Sun Valley? Sun Valley. That's Idaho, right? Idaho, yeah. I'd go to Sun Valley and maybe Park City. Yeah. I'd pick those places. How about New York? Because you're picking places that don't have a lot of competition. We're trying to get the competition away. Those 25-year-olds that are going to take up your space and you're going to feel miserable because the men aren't looking at you. Okay. So what about New York? New York is really good. I'm just really worried right now. So I have a feeling there's going to be a spree of all the richie-richies leaving. Because of him, yeah. I don't trust Mondami. No. Yeah, nobody does. Well, I don't either. And I also think it's going to be really difficult to do business there and I think the billionaires are going to pull out. I think the grocery chains and the billionaires are going to pull out. And once they pull out, the city is going to fall. They're in trouble right now. If Trump doesn't save them. Yeah, but that Modan, I mean... I mean, he revoked 150 of Eric Adams laws and one of them is protecting Jews. I'm Jewish. Are you Jewish? I'm Jewish? Yeah. Okay. I'm asking. I'm asking. Oh my God, hilarious. No one's arresting. Hello. Hello. We're from the tribe. Yes. I thought that was pretty obvious. Cohen? Right. He lied and of course, you know... I know. And he's not protecting us. And then also he... 3,500 police officers retired and left the force because of him. So we're in a... It's a bad place right now. Right. So you might want to go like... I would say in winter time, you always go to ski, mountainy places that like yellows... If you can get into the Yellowstone Club, hats off, go. You know, even... Here's another thing. Forget that you don't see someone at the bar. Mingle with the guy who's married. He always has one token friend who's single. So you want to get the referral. See people don't work and network enough. Like they just... Oh, there's no one here. Let's leave. And I'm going, wait a second. Who's at the bar? He's got a Rolex on. He's buying shots. Like let's talk to him. Right. You know, like... Maybe a condo it to someone else. And by the way, steakhouse is where I tell you where there's meat, there's men. So if you go to a steakhouse and you go at five o'clock and you're nice to the bartender and you say, hey, do you know any regulars who are single in my age group? He's going to introduce you or she's going to introduce you. Be friendly. If you know the hostess, they all know that what's going down. Seriously. You know what? What's your number one piece of dating advice though? To go to places like the steakhouse? Yeah, I have a rule. I have a rule. Go out once a week by yourself. Those who travel in packs do not attract. It's a very hard rule and a lot of people can't do it. They cannot eat by themselves. They cannot go to a bar. They think they're going to be called a hooker if they sit at the peninsula at five o'clock. That was the old day. If you went to the peninsula in Beverly Hills at five o'clock, you were a hooker. We're like, where did this come from? Because the Russian hookers used to sit there. And wait for the guy to come in and buy them a Chanel purse. Don't they still? I don't know. I haven't been to it. I haven't been to it until I've never. I don't know. I don't even know that anymore. I don't even go out anymore. I love to stay home and watch TV. I want a guy who likes to do nothing with me. Yeah. Does that make sense? That's the most perfect guy. I just want to get under the, eat great food and get under the covers and watch television. 100%. And then take a walk on the beach when the weather's good. It sounds like a perfect date to me, which is exactly the problem. That's why people aren't like these great girls are not meeting people because they don't want to be doing the whole rigmarole. My favorite is when the guy is super athletic on the app. So he's like, I do this, I hang like, I don't like, oh my God, you're exhausting goodbye. And they are like, I want an outdoors girl. Okay. That's right. Okay. I mean, they want an outdoors girl, but I think also they want someone who they can chill with. An outdoors girl is not going to be feminine, pretty and shaving her legs every week. You don't think so? Yeah. I was going to say, okay, let's say this. My next question was, what do you think the number one thing that guys are looking for? Like something that's unattainable. Like, you know, men have visions of like what they want, but then what they take is completely different. So what they want is the wish list, the hundred things to the floor. But when they get in front of a woman, she may not be in perfect weight. She may not have the perfect smile. She might be a little bit older. You know, they smell the pheromone. They run after it. You'd be surprised what they take versus what they want. If you're not taking glutathione, you're missing out on one of the most critical foundations for your health. Your body is dealing with toxins every single day. Pollution, chemicals, plastics, processed food, alcohol, stress, bad sleep. It's not a question if you're exposed. It's how much. That's where glutathione comes in. It's often called the master antioxidant and for good reason. Glutathione protects your cells from oxidative stress and supports your body's natural detox process. When you're stressed, traveling, eating badly, or just giving into the modern world, your glutathione levels drop. So I take raw nutrition, liposomal glutathione because it's not just glutathione in a basic capsule. It's liposomal, which means your body can actually absorb and use it. This is foundational if you care about long-term health, recovery, and staying resilient when everything around you is working against your biology. If you're feeling run down, inflamed, foggy, or like your system needs real support, start here. Go to rownutrition.com and try Rowe's Liposomal Glutathione. Use code GEN20 for 20% off site-wide. That's Rowe Nutrition, R-H-O-N-U-T-R-I-T-I-O-N.com and use code GEN20. So you know what I find interesting? Strong, like people who are strong, like strong women, alpha women, I find that that's a very hard category. Well, I mean, I am like double. So I'm a Gemini and I'm Trips personality. So right now I'm on my work mode. I'm like, let's do this, let's do this. And then I meet a guy and all of a sudden I'm attracted to him, not just anybody. And then I'm like, hi, right. Oh my God, you did that? That's amazing. Like, that's how I am. And then I noticed that recently. I went on a day at Christmas Eve and I did that. And I went, no wonder he called me again. He asked me out, he kissed me at the end. And I was like not giving any signals. I just automatically went into feminine mode because when I was working with Pat Allen, who is my mentor and who is on the show who wrote Getting To I Do, she would say to me, switch when you go in the house. And I had to, and I was at a boyfriend at the time and I lived with him and I had to train myself to go from, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, a пад пад пад пад пад 15% off their 90 day starter kit. That's fatty15.com slash habits, code habits. And you can find the link in the show notes. Now let's get back to the episode. What's the number one question people ask you? Where are all the men? More than where are the women? Do men ever ask you where all the women are? No, they just say, fix me up. They just know that I have the women until they go fix me up. But they want to know, but it's always where are all the men? Where are the men? They're so sad and look, everybody goes through depression. We watched all those Christmas movies where everybody found love this last period and I just want to cry every single time and go, where's my guy? And now we have a song, our national anthem. Where the hell is my husband by Ray? That's right. The minute it dropped, I told everyone, this is going to be the biggest hit of next year. People are like, you're crazy. I'm like, okay, I'm an idiot. But that is the national anthem. Where is my husband? He used to be the single girls, screw you Beyonce. We have Ray. Exactly. Ray has moved new girl in town. So that's the number one question they ask you. Do they ever ask you, how are you single if you're a matchmaker? Always, always. But that's my journey and my story. I go on dates, I haven't found the one. I feel like LA's really hard. It would be easier for me in Florida, but I don't live there. So that's why. Why are you here still? I live here because I produce TV. I made five movies for Hallmark. I'm producing a scripted series with the people that made the Kissing Booth and the Queen's Gambit and the Walter Boyz. So I'm working on a scripted show with them. Can you live here half the time? I can. In both I have to. I can. But you know what? I really like the weather here. I know me too. I don't know what it is. The humidity did it get you a little bit. I was lucky. It was freezing cold on the floor. Oh, you were good. You were in the rain. You had the rain and the freezing cold. Yeah, no rain. Thank God. That's the problem with Florida. Usually you had rain this last year. You know that. I had the worst humidity. I was the last time I was there. I went there. I usually go every other month. My best friend lives there. Oh, really? In Fort Lauderdale. Yeah. And the last time is there. I said, thank you for the rain. Every day I was there, it rained. I hate rain, though. Yeah. Well, rain brings the mosquitoes. So it's terrible in Florida. Oh, I just, yeah. That's the, listen. I really love the life in my, in my... I want to bring it. If I have to import somebody in. I know. Like, hey guys, if you're watching the show, we're both single. I'm just putting it out there. Because I would totally import a guy in. Especially a guy who's successful and already has money. He could live anywhere. Well, I mean, 100%. And who wouldn't want to live in LA? It's beautiful. Yeah, I'll tell you who wouldn't. Anybody who has any money because of the taxes here. It's so expensive here. Okay. Not to mention all the homeless. I can give you a million reasons why. Yeah. Okay, all right, all right, all right. Many people have, most of the people I know have like left LA. And then we lost the Palisades also. And the Palisades, it's a lot of reasons. I think that the only reason to be in LA now is the weather. I mean, I think that's, that's really where it comes down to. But then we don't have even summer. We don't, we get, you know, June, Gloom and May, Gray. And we don't get like summer till everybody, everybody's leaving to go back to school and then we get our summer. Isn't that something? It's so stupid. It's crazy. Yeah. I agree. What's the difference between being picky and having very high standards? Picky is neurosis. So it's constantly where, you know, her eyelashes flutter too much or, you know, one side is thinner than the other. Like that's, that's creepy. But high standards, high value woman, that's okay. Yeah, but I rather you have high standards. No, but what's the difference? And someone was like picking, picking silly things. But like, picky is kind of, picky is not so much silly things. It's just neurosis over like, you know, like I'm too picky. Well, should I be low standards? So high standards is like, you look at yourself, do you have those things? Are you six out? If you want someone successful, are you successful? If you want someone in shape, are you in shape? That's like high standards. So what I find so hilarious is when these, I find, this is what I think happens a lot when people who are like, they're a six and they expect to get an 11. Especially if it's a man that has money. Yeah. Because he, but he, yeah, he believes the entrance fee. Okay. Of the money, Jeff Bezos 101, you know, and then she comes along and makes him in shape. Yeah. They have a good relationship like that. I know, but to me, that's even, I see it way, at least she's age appropriate. Yeah. Isn't that nice? At least she's age appropriate. Isn't that really nice? Like to me, it's like- Laura's great. She's great. I'm great. I would, and also she's no dummy. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, so he, to me, I can, I can deal with that. What I don't like is when it's like, I'm, you're, you're like five foot one and you're bald, but you're very rich. And you're- Well, there's tons of nerds on the Forbes 400. And they're dating a 25 year old gold digger. And they think that's okay. But I don't see how that- But they didn't get that in high school. Exactly. So I, but the, but I see if you marry for money, you earn every penny. Because the girl still has to have sex with that guy. Some girls don't care. I know. They're going Birkin, Birkin, Birkin as he's going up and down and pumping a junk. Yes. He's junk. But what I don't get, but is how it, what does that say about the girl? The girl is materialistic, but you get what you pay for. You get what you pay. And you earn every penny. Did you ever watch the movie, Gentleman, Gentleman, what's that movie, Blonde? Gentleman, Blonde's Gentleman, the Marilyn Monroe movie. Gentleman, more Blonde's. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So she says to, she's dating this guy and the guy, father has the money. He's the billionaire. And she says to him, well, don't you know a pretty girl is just like a man with money. We haven't exchanged. Transaction. Transaction. And then she said, what's wrong with that? You're not going to date, you're not going to marry an ugly girl. Why not me? In the end, she says that. And I just saw that clip. I put it on my Instagram. Listen, if it works for you, all the power to you, but I find that very, I find that interesting. Okay. Yeah, but you have to understand in that time, in that era, women didn't have money. So we were slaves to men. So think about this. Yes. We've always been slaves to men till this generation. Think about that. Think about that. Yeah, I know. Our generation, okay, made the money to pave the way for these younger kids where they're making, they're not going to even college. They're like, why should I go on debt? I can make six times that month, AI, CGI and all this other crap that they're doing, UCSG and all this shit. They're making all this stuff online without even going to college. Well, we had to go to college. We had to pay our dues. We had to work for the man. They're not doing that anymore. So they're making all this money and living at home and saving money at the same time. Like it's crazy. It is crazy what's happening. But then there's socially and up. So there's a payoff at the end of the day. But the girl that's traveling around on Instagram and going, I got princess treatment. He's taking me there and here and I just got my ring and we'll see how long that lasts. What do you think though of having like of traditional values? I'm traditional values. I'm old school, very old school. I'm old school. I'm way old school and you would never know that about me. But that's what I've been trying. But you preach it a lot. I feel better when I'm old school. The minute I get outside of old school, I do not feel good at all. Right. No. Your whole thing also with like no sex before monogamy and all these things, you still believe that. But there's a reason. There's a biological reason. You know that, right? So the biological reason, Emily would tell you this. The biological reason is that we have oxytocin. They only get oxytocin through vasopressin. So a man falls in love when he's doing things for you, solving your problems and doing things, building those IKEA shelves, okay? Picking up for dinner every night. When he's doing, he feels good. And then he loves you more. That creates oxytocin. Very small amount, but still it does create it. Women, the minute we have sex with you, we fall in love with you, whether we like you or not, whether you got an orgasm, not the touch creates oxytocin. We bond. That's why we spoon, okay? And we're screwed. So we can fall in love with the gas station attendant who doesn't give a shit about you. Okay? We'll rob you of the line, you know, steal your sister at the same time. And we're like, wait, what just happened? He is not bonded. He bonds through vasopressin through... But doesn't that change over time? So let's say you get, so like you can start, you don't think it changes over time? No, as long as he keeps doing for you, he will be in love with you. That's why they did a study recently which upset me greatly that said women who cook, okay, don't get the love from the man like women who don't cook. And I automatically cook because that's what my mother and my grandmother do. Right. So then you get screwed. I remember once, I literally was, I was at the best sex I ever had in Florida, one period, it was dirty thirties, early dirty thirties. And so I thought my boyfriend was cheating. I wasn't sure and he was leaving the next morning to go on a business trip. So I conveniently went naked under the robe to his house, you know, like one of those, I lived in Florida and I made his favorite chocolate chip cookies. I stayed up all night baking. That's how he was driving my bus because my hormones were raging to procreate and have... ...work as, oh, he gave me the best organisms I ever had. So I was like, Emily would love this story. And I went four years on again, off again. The day I said it was over, I had the click. He wasn't for me. He wasn't treating me right, blah, blah, blah. I met my fiance the next day, but I had the click go off. Of course, then he called, please come back. I'll marry you. I love you. I told you that every time they always come back, they could come back 15 years later. And so you were the one that got away. You're going to hear women say that to you after this episode. Yeah. Like, yeah. And so the oxytocin controls our brain to make our decisions. Now you get into your fifties and what happens? Hormones change, right? They change. You get into menopause, testosterone increases, estrogen goes down. No, testosterone does not increase. For men? No, for women. Oh, God. Women increase testosterone in menopause and our estrogen decreases. When that happens, our brain changes and we become the man. That's why you can have sex after menopause and you basically don't get attached. I thought you lose testosterone. No, you don't lose testosterone. It increases estrogen. You lose estrogen. You need estrogen. That's why it's very important for people to get on bioidenticals, which now we know the truth, which they've been lying to us. And I was always a Suzanne Summers girl, read the book, went to the doctors, have the best functional medicine doctor, Dr. Reed, you know, Molly Sims goes to her. Do you go to Dr. Reed? Yeah, love her. She's my life. She saved my life. By the way, I went to her 10 years ago. She's French, right? Yeah, she's. She's a very good doctor. I lost her phone number. She knew she's in San Monica. She knew about Peptin before anyone knew. Anybody else did. Anyway, I went to another famous doctor in Beverly Hills who almost killed me in COVID and Dr. Reed saved my life. What do you mean, what can I doctor you? She overprescribed. I don't want to say her name, but she was really bad. She overprescribed hormones? Overprescribed bioidentical. She misdiagnosed my dosage and having Hashimoto's and everything. I almost died. And Dr. Reed changed me. Really? She completely changed me. Yeah. And that's important that you go to good physicians that know what they're doing. She won't give you anything FDA, like there's something I wanted and I was reading about and she's like, nope, it's not FDA approved yet. Like she's one of those. But she knows about shit before it happens because she's French. I remember she was really good. She was a very good doctor. And I remember when I went to see her for something, she gave me something that nobody else was giving at the time. She's got a great reputation. It's really good. The amazing, there's somebody else really famous that goes to her, but I don't want to say it. Molly has talked about it since other person is even bigger than Molly. And you know, I know, I have a lot of friends who go to her. You know, like she knew about exeoms and all the, you know, glutathym and all the drips before anybody did. No, that's what she gave me. Glutathym like 12 years ago. Yeah. And she say, and like when I got COVID, she knew exactly what to do. So, Sam Grant, who's my nutritionist, works part-time with her too. And she is amazing too. So those two people together have really changed my life. God, I should go back to see her. Can you give me her number? I forgot. Yes, I will give you two after the show's over. I really want, I've just like, I gotta go see her again. Is there anything that I forgot to ask you that you think would be something that my audience would like to hear? You said you must look at her in a men, right? Is that what you said? I would say 60, 40. No, no, no, not all it men. I would say 60, 40. Maybe talk about some men stuff because we talked more about women stuff. So let's talk about men stuff. Like, you asked me questions about men. What, what, what? Okay, so, well, I was asking, yeah, you're telling me a lot about women. Women, by the way, would love this all summer, but I- But men were my premium clients. So it started with men and it's still with men because men don't have time. They're busy, they know what they want, and they need someone to give it to them. So if they go back on Instagram with their secretaries, they gotta spend a lot of time, not so much swiping but screening. And one of the things that I am able to do that nobody can do is me and my team, we screen like nobody, we'll say, we'll know who their first grade boyfriend was. You know, it's like one of those things. And then we know who's right energy for them. Like, I had a really difficult client about three weeks ago who's famous on Instagram, and he gets a million girls, he really handsome from the Midwest. And I gave him two girls, right? He likes them both. So now his biggest dilemma is, which one do I choose? I go, well, don't choose any, just keep dating both. And then you'll figure it out. So one of my clients always says to me, you always give me so many choices. I'm like, should I not? Like other services barely give you one and I'm giving choices. Don't you think it's better to focus on one person and see if there's a girl? No, not in the beginning stage, not these kind of clients, these kind of clients do choices. Because if they go through one, they will come back immediately. They, oh, I pulled the trigger too soon. I rather them date a few people than pick one and take their time. Right. Well, you did tell me that earlier. I mean, that's why I tell women, when the women come in, these men are dating everyone, you date everyone too. Just don't date it. You can only date my service. One of the problems I have is that I tell women, the men who pay or the women who pays, that's the client. So they can have as many as they want. You cannot. So in the matchmaking space, who like, I'm not good at, besides the dating apps and all the things we already covered, is this a big business? Are there a lot of matchmaking? It's getting bigger and bigger as we talk about it because of what's going on. Yeah. People are sick of apps and they're sick of everything. And AI is going to now take over in the matchmaking space. That's a new thing that's happening with apps. Really? Yeah. It'll assist us, but it'll never get rid of the human touch because I don't know what they're doing. I've tried chat GBT for the matchmaking and didn't do what I needed to do. So I, it's, you need a human touch because we, or taste touch and feel. So it's a little different than chat GBT going, ethirically, what you should do. You know, it's not the same thing. But I will say that AI will be good for recruiting, which means like, if I want to find a golfer in Cincinnati at a certain country club, eventually, not today, AI will find me that particular golfer for that client, that female client. So it's like, kind of like it's going to be my legs on the ground, but I wouldn't say it knows how to actually put, sorry, how to put these two people together. You know what I'm just thinking would be a great thing if they're going to do something online, LinkedIn should put together. I always said LinkedIn should do dating. For sure. Because it's like, you have that, you have that call. I don't know them, but I've always said that and I would be the in-house matchmaker and help them put it together. I've always said that. I think that would be brilliant because you have like, All the business group. Yeah, you have like the built in audience of people. I think they tried to do that with the league. Do you remember the league? Well, the league has, has basic dating, but Facebook dating, but it's not the level because you're looking at business profiles. You're looking at people's CEOs and own corporations and you're looking at a higher level of clientele. Okay. I have one last question actually and then we can wrap. It's been a while, but what do you think of interfaith relationships versus same- Ooh, this is a touchy one. You know, being Jewish, we all want everybody to date Jewish, especially after October 7th. Right. Love is love. So I'm not here to tell you not to who to date because you have a different religion. You just got to know are you compatible? So like for instance, if you're talking about compatibility at the end of the day, If you're Orthodox Jewish, you're not going to date a born again Christian. No, no, I don't mean it like that. What I mean is like in, in, historically, then you're in your experiences with people that you've set up. Have you noticed that the people who have like longevity over time is people who are Jewish, Jewish, Muslim, Muslim together versus this one and that one, you know, no? There are plenty of people that are opposite of the religion. Most of the people now I feel are getting more spiritual. You know, like I've got a church with, with a Catholic guy, like I did my last boyfriend and then I'll have Passover dinner with him at my house or something like that. But it's more about, do you believe in God? Like I can't date an atheist. It wouldn't work for me. I'm not religious, although I am a Zionist for Israel, but I can't date somebody who's like, there is, once we die, we're dead. Like I'm like, no, that we're reincarnated. Like, you know, there's other stuff going on in the universe or planets. Even how many times have we now know there's alien life and yet nobody wants to talk about it? And I'm seeing you're going there, other planets with other alien life forms. Don't you want to know about that? I'm like, great, until they invade. Okay. Right. So that's not really, so it's more about the spirituality. Spirituality is believing in God, you know? And, but when you have a religion, and I won't say the one everybody's going to know, that will blow themselves up and hurt people in the name of their God, that's a cult. That's not a religion. That's a cult. So I'm sorry if you don't like that. That's a cult. Okay. And I'm sorry because God doesn't hurt people. Okay. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I agree. I was watching one battle after another. Did you see it? No. Oh, so good. So fucking good. It's the best movie. Next to Marty Supreme and that are the two movies of the year. So I watched one battle after another and there's this thing. Where is it on? Now when I watch it? Um, I think it's on HBO now. Okay. So it's with, with an earned copy. Okay. And so there's this thing, this white supremacist club called the American Christmas Club in the movie and I can't give away what it is. But I thought about this and I went, wait, they don't want anybody whose blood is tainted. That's not purely white. I thought Jesus was a Jew and he was spartic. He did not have white skin. Like I was like, like that's how dumb religion became. Like they just made up their fairy tales as they went along. That's not the truth. Right. Jesus was a rabbi to fill in every morning. He'd come back and go, what the hell did you people do? That's right. That's interesting. Exactly true. I'm going to watch that movie. Yeah. So you're going to love that and Marty Supreme. Both of them. Okay. I'm going to watch that. Run to the, well they're both online. Well no, Marty Supreme, I saw in the theater last week, but one battle after another is on HBO. Yeah. I'm going to like that. I like that. Okay. I think that's all. We've been doing this for a while now. I don't know how long this podcast is, but if people want to know more about you, where can they find you? They can either go to millionairesclub123.com. It's got a nest in millionaires club or DM me on Instagram. There. Patty Stanger with an I. There you go. You heard it here, not first, but you've heard it here. You are great. Again, the OG of matchmaking. And it's so entertaining. So like straight. I think that you're just so fun. Cool. Thank you so much for being on here. I really appreciate it. You're great. And go find Bet Patty on Instagram or the millionaire. Is there like any kind of like survey or something people can fill out? Yeah. When they get to my website, they can decide if they're going to be a client or a dator, and then they'll just, the prompts will lead you in there. Oh, okay. Great. Yeah. On the website. Perfect. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Oh, thank you for being here. Bye everyone.