2026 Dating Trends: Chalance, Friendfluence, Voice Notes, and More

I am glad there's finally more content just about like pursuing women and just being kind to each other and like being romantic. I mean, that's what I'm looking for. A hundred percent. So what does romance look like in 2026? This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Hope everyone had a great Valentine's weekend. What do you think you did for Valentine's Day? We will discuss it on this last week's snack. I need to offer some clarity on our anniversary. Ours. Our podcast anniversary because I'm sure people were a little surprised last week that I got all twisted up because I'm a big date person and I'm a sentimental person. Here's what it is. and I have looked at this before, but I just forgot last week. The 13th is when we posted our very first episode. I knew it was before Valentine's Day. Let me finish. Because we had heard, you don't know how long it's going to take to get approved on Apple to have your podcast be in the world. People were like, it could take up to 10 days. So as soon as it was ready and edited, it took me so long to finesse that first 40 minute episode. we put it up we did not launch girls gotta eat till monday february 19th so this is the first i'm hearing of this okay so eight years in february 13th 2018 was a tuesday no one knew about it i think we had a few people like listen to it but like we did not tell anybody about it i think we were teasing it on our instagram but it launched on monday february 19th to the world i remember being in an uber on sunday february 18th and i was like it's up if you want to listen now i was all excited i was on my way to some event and so the technical launch is february 19th but the technical publication of the first episode was the 13th so if you're more reina's anniversary you're the 13th and if you're more ashley's anniversary you're the 19th and if you guys are losing sleep about this now you know and i look forward to revisiting this next year and not knowing no she told me about this the other day and i was like this is the first i'm hearing of this so and i'm wearing the necklace today and i was gonna bring you a gift but i'll bring on thursday for our actual anniversary okay so first day 10 days after we announce the first anniversary we will celebrate our actual anniversary listen it's been the 13th for a long time and we've spent valentine's day together every year for a lot of years yeah it was always like around valentine's that's fine whatever you guys want to do no an anniversary is an anniversary okay i was 40 minutes our first episode i remember being like i want to put these out under 45 minutes i just yeah you got that in your head i remember yeah because i was like you're we're trying to reach brand new people we can't launch with two hours or 90 minutes and so the first episodes were like 39 minutes yes that's crazy and then we would like drink at the end i mean what a time anyway you guys are probably sick about hearing about the anniversary but you know what it still doesn't even have to go this Thursday. We have more time to talk about. All right, well, we'll thank our partners and we'll get right into it. Thanks to Hungry Root, get 40% off your first box and a free item in every box for life at HungryRoot.com slash GGE with code GGE and Skims. Get our favorite bras and underwear at Skims.com slash GGE and Chime bank fee free by signing up at Chime.com slash girls got to eat. And thank you to Nutraful. Get $10 off your first order and free shipping at Nutraful.com with code GGE10. And thank you to hers. Get the support that actually reflects your needs. Start your free intake at ForHers.com. Okay. Okay. So there was something I want to discuss. I saw this Instagram story from Weezy, WeezyWTF on Instagram, who we have in the podcast with her co-host Mandy, who do a podcast called Decisions Decisions. We had them last year to talk about their new book. And I just thought this was something that was so impactful and like a simple piece of a dating advice, but I screenshotted it. I want to give her credit, but we wanted to break it down. So she posted, ladies, can I give you the best piece of dating advice I have in my arsenal? Stop telling these men how badly your ex treated you. It's a testimony to what you'd be willing to put up with and for how long. Speak highly of the people you've dated. Stop letting these MFs feel like the prize. And I was like, wow, it's not like the hottest take. I never really thought about it in quite that way. I think it's a really profound take. Yeah, I think it is the hottest take. And it reminds me I want to unpack this. And it reminds me of the opposite when I'm on a date with a man and he says to me, my ex is really crazy. And I think both of those things do the same thing. What a man is telling you that he wants you to be like, Oh my god, that's crazy. And when a girl is telling this, she wants you to say like, fuck that guy. But all these things do is say something about you and not the other person. So with women, it's what what you're willing to deal with. And with men, when a man says to me, my ex is crazy. My first thought is what have you done to provoke that behavior? And so I'm like, this says more about the person talking about it than it does about the ex. I don't care about the ex. I don't care about her, her behavior. All I think is what did you do to provoke and cause this behavior? Yeah. And I do think it part of that is in the delivery. Like we are going to talk to our partners about our past and what is the tone? Is it this therapy session? Is it just sharing funny stories? Is it just here's about me and here's what I went through. Here's my trauma. I think that even if we have the best intentions with somebody, whether it's even friendships or a business partner or a romantic partner, when they are telling you how someone treated them before, you can't help but think that is what they were willing to accept for however long. and I think there is a world in which you're saying this happened to me and I got out of it and I won't accept that type of behavior again and I think that you can share those things with your partner this isn't don't talk to your partner about your past but like droning on and on about it in a way where it's like oh but you're so much better you would never and you got to treat me right like I think you have to limit that kind of sharing and you have to think about the tone because I'm not a person that's like, oh, this person was treated so poorly before me. I can get away with it. But I don't think we – we can't not think you let yourself get treated like that. And again, it's not even that. I've been treated poorly. You've been treated poorly. And I know what my boundaries are and what I'm willing to accept. And I've shared my past with Shashank, of course. But it's like the amount of sharing that I've been treated so poorly and by multiple partners. When you start going down that road, like you said, even on the flip side of all my exes are crazy or all these men cheated on me, what is it saying about you? I think it's interesting because there's a line. I do want to hear, has somebody been in a serious relationship before? What was that like? How did they process it? Are you able to have commitment and communication? And I'm always really interested in that. But I think early on before you get to know somebody. Yes. Yes. And it sounds a little bit like I'm victim blaming the woman. And I just mean with men, when they're like, this thing happened to me, I'm just like, huh, all right. It's been noted. That's all I mean. It's like, yeah, it's been noted that this was a dynamic in your past relationships. And I think that women, when they say this, just want to say like, I've been hurt in the past and this sucked and I was treated poorly and I want to move on from that. I want to be intentional. I want to do something different. But I think in the very beginning, it's not necessarily doing what you think it is. A hundred percent. And you see this a lot on The Bachelor or dating shows. And again, the whole intention and the way that they manipulate those shows is they want people trauma dumping on a first date. But it starts to feel like when you see a woman or a man, for example, telling the other person, this is what I've been through. It does start to feel like trauma dumping. And like, what is the intention here? Do you want someone to save you? You know, is the intention like you want this man, for example, to say, I would never cheat on you. I would never do that. I'm going to treat you better. Like, what are you asking for in return? And you always say the way you speak about yourself is how someone will perceive you. So you should be speaking about yourself as I am a strong person. I don't put up with people walking all over me. Like, how do you want someone to think of you? And to Weezy's last point, speak highly of the people you've dated. Don't lie. But guys should think her ex treated her so well. I need to level up. Not like her bar is low. Think about it that way. Do you want to be telling guys my bar is low? I have put up with so much. I've been cheated on so many times in the past. To me, it is the amount of sharing and the is this a pattern and the same exact thing with all my exes are crazy. Everyone has a crazy ex. I've been the crazy ex. I have a crazy ex, but it's not every single one it's not lewis house coming on our podcast talking about every single one of my exes was a narcissist or whatever the fuck he said and it's like that's super sus yes and i think that men and women are different we share differently so i'm not lumping these in together when women say this i think they're trying to be vulnerable yes yes and we're talking about that today i think that they're trying to like share like what has happened in the past and i think it's really important to like get clear with people be honest and this is what i've gone through and that's that's really nice but there is just there's a line and i know when i see it I'm just like, this is what's happened to me. And please just be delicate with me and treat me better rather than like, I have accepted this just so you know. Yeah. And I try to think about what exes have said to me. Like, I hear these things about my ex and I'm like, this will have this will come up. So like my ex said, my ex wife used to treat me like I was incompetent all the time and everything I did. She was like, I can do this better. I can take care of this. And I was like, huh, a woman treated you like you were incompetent. Okay. So I'm just, I'm just making note of it. I'm just noting it. And like, yes, there were a lot of things that came up with him where I was like, oh, you actually like can't clean up your side of the street. I can't like trust you to like take care of very basic needs. And so like, yes, had we stayed together longer, I would have started really treating him like he was completely incompetent. Like I understand her the way she was. And the second he said she always did this, I clocked it as like she was probably right. You're so right about that, too. You're putting ideas in someone's head of who you are. like if I said to somebody that I was newly dating like my ex has always said I was this or I was that he's gonna be like are you I actually didn't think that but now I do you were like I actually didn't think you were incompetent but now I do now I'm looking for evidence now I'm looking for evidence yeah so what are you saying about yourself and we can't stress enough like you should be able to share and be vulnerable and we'll dive into that more today but I do think it's about how early it is. And if someone is badgering you about your past, A, why? And B, you can be a little cagey about it. You can be like, oh, it was fine, or it was this, or it was that, or there were some issues there. And you can share as much or as little as you want. And then as you get closer with that person, you can obviously open up more about your past. But the trauma dumping early on in hopes that they will treat you better is not doing what you think it's doing. I'm fascinated by it. Like there are just certain things I hold back on a first couple of dates, stuff about my family specifically. I don't try to sound cagey. It's just, it's none of your business. I don't need, I don't need to be shared. And I'm not just giving you like the top line notes of myself, like all the good stuff. And you know, you got to wait for the bad stuff. But I always just say there's like a line and I know it when I see it and people share stuff with me a lot. And you, I've, I've talked to a dating coach before. I said like people that are therapists or podcasters, people that interview a lot, people tend to overshare with you. And so I am hypersensitive to it, to not overshare with somebody. And if people start to trauma it up on me, I'm just like, what are we doing here? So I am hypersensitive, but I don't know. The first couple of dates, I just don't know that we need to be sharing things because you don't have the context to digest this information in a way that I want you to. Yeah. And you are still getting to know someone. And if you like them, how you want to see the relationship progress, do you want to put in a bunch of effort. We'll talk about effort today. But if you're a guy, not all guys, but a lot of guys by nature are competitive. They are clocking everything you're saying about the people you dated before them because they're competing with them. So if you were like every single guy before you was trash, you'd be like, oh, I don't have to do anything. But if you're like, yeah, my exes were pretty dope and this guy did this and this guy did that, I don't think you're going to do that on a date. But if you give those clues, if they knew that from before, they're going to try to level up dress for the job you want. So true. And also, like, I think when people start to reveal stuff a few dates, and I don't look back and think like, Oh, he lied to me. I think like, he had some tact and some grace. Yeah, when and how they shared something with me. And when I hear somebody just talk about their exes in a really negative light on the first few days, I'm just like, what was the point of this? Why are you telling me this? Right? What are you trying to gain? And again, I think some people are often trying to do something that they're actually doing the opposite. So, I mean, Shashank still barely tells me. I think I'd be digging so deep. I'm like, tell me everything about your ex, sis. He's like, why do you want to know that? Wait, what? Oh my god, stop. Yes, Shashank. Don't. I was never curious. I mean, I... You guys have to tell you what happened. It's insane. We were... God bless Chunky. He is truly the best. I am so lucky to be married to this man. You have to say that before I drop what you say. No, he's just so secure and easygoing. I love him so much. He walked into my house yesterday and was like, what do you need fixed in the house? And just immediately fixed my freezer. He was just on the floor fixing the freezer for a long time. It was insane. But okay, we were, there was like 13 of us watching the Super Bowl. And we were having a conversation with somebody about a meeting we had had. And this guy happened years ago, years ago, many years ago, before I even started to date Chunky. It was four years ago. and we were talking about this meeting we had with this guy and he said this name and you're like oh i know him i thought i was gonna marry him yeah and shashank looks at you he you have your back to him like i see him look at you and you like doubled down on it you were like no no i mean he just was so hot right now i see him looking at you and i'm like i'm trying to motion to the fact that your husband's staring directly i blacked out like i listen i love shashank more than anything i could cry even talking about him but i do forget i'm married sometimes i was single for so long i was i was able to speak freely about this stuff for so long and sometimes it does come back and i'll just say this guy's name is james he was like this high power ceo he was on this call i didn't know he was gonna be on the call and i saw him and i was like who the fuck is that like i love him whatever so again this is but i i forget you were married too it's so funny the way i said it i was like oh my god i was in love with him i thought i was gonna marry him i am saying this with my full chest shashank is right here he's next to me i actually when i heard you exclaim something without much confidence in a long time i mean he's in the whole room no and he immediately looked at you and i was like is this so serious it was so funny it's so funny because yes like i just had like a crush on somebody that was never going to happen but for me to be like oh my god i thought I was going to marry him like that's what Shashank felt about me that same year he has that story about a woman and it's me you gotta find someone who loves you a little more hey listen it's better than if it was the other way around so anyway but yeah I like I was like oh I snapped back into it I was like oh my god oh my god Ashley like fucking get a hold of yourself what are you doing I like no one really did react like that we were talking to this man and i feel like he was even like oh isn't that your husband you shouldn't have forgot his wedding ring that day yep exactly thank you so much shashank forgot his wedding ring because we were making a dip to bring over and then we got a little rushed and we had a little instapot situation whatever and so he forgot his wedding ring and he he came home from work one day when he forgot it like he works really close to home and he got there and he was he always wants to leave work so he just jetted back home he was like it was the cutest thing. He was like, I don't want to be at work all day without my wedding ring on. I was like, why are you getting hit on by these old ladies? I would hit on him. That's like an aside, but he totally forgot it. We got your house. And so I was like, well, I guess we're not married. I can do what I want. I forget you were married all the time. There's this clip that you posted on our Instagram from last week about the Superbowl foods. And you said, can we make the cheese dip? And I thought when you said we, I thought you meant you and me. I didn't realize you meant the other week. Someone wrote in the comments, you hit her with the other way. I was like, you see it on my face. It did not occur to me. You didn't mean me and you. I know. No, that was such a funny clip. Okay. Well, we got off topic, but I forget how we even got there. Just talking about your exes. Yeah. Your ex crushes. But I think this is great advice. And I think it is a reframe for people. And I don't want to shame anybody that's doing this. I just want them to think about what they're doing and what you're saying about yourself. I think we all have our own shit. We all have our trauma. However we bring it into a date situation or anything with a potential love interest If we feel close to somebody and we feel like we can share this stuff that great but it just something to keep in mind and just something to keep in mind about the way you want people to think about how you expect to be treated yeah i only need to shame men for the my ex's crazy thing i would never shame a woman for their behavior yeah of course of course i'm trying to think like i don't actually don't have any exes that i would be like they're pieces i don't people i wouldn't get back together with but no like i'm trying to think like when do i share that like have i ever been treated really badly by somebody i actually dated everybody else yes everybody else has treated me really badly but somebody that i've really been in a relationship with yeah right exactly no i wouldn't i mean try to remember like when i would have shared something like that yeah you had like your toxic ex in your early 20s you talk about he's cheating on you my fiancee left me the day after i gave my party it all starts coming out but like yeah i mean i've had a toxic relationship and i when i speak about it to shonk i talk about the ownership that i played in it too and i certainly don't speak about it and it's like i let this guy just shit all over me and take advantage of me and lie to me and whatever not even saying he did all that but it's just like i don't know i'm not saying if that was the case i'd be embarrassed like we all have a have a story and reasons for why we let things happen in our life but like i would want my partner to think like she has been treated with respect in the past and she expects the same from me. But I like that if you frame it also as like, here's what I learned and here's what won't be happening again. Yeah, exactly. Also, I can digest that better. A hundred percent. Okay. So we are just going to have another conversation about health. It is just always on our mind. And we have been talking about hers recently and going to tell you a little bit about hers today. So we obviously deal with so much as women, especially as we age. Of course, there's perimenopause, there's menopause, there's changes in our body, there's sometimes unexplained weight gain and anxiety, energy levels, whatever's going on with your skin. I mean, the list goes on and on. And women's health has not always been at the forefront of the conversation. And we do feel like that is improving. And brands like hers really have taken that as their top priority. And this is going to be the care that you deserve to be feeling your best and take your health into your own hands. So we have talked about them before. And I think obviously we talk about perimenopause and menopause, and that's something that they are tackling. So when you go to their site, it'll ask you what's most important to you right now, relief from my symptoms, long-term health benefits, or both. You're going to answer some questions. This is when you do the intake form as well. But they also do weight loss. So when you go to 4hers.com and you click on weight loss, they're going to say, what's your weight loss goal? Lose 1 to 15 pounds, lose 16 to 50 pounds, lose 51 plus pounds, and you're not sure, I just need to lose weight. And you are going to answer a few more questions about your motivation for it. And they're going to work with you on a plan that could work with you. And this isn't us saying like everybody needs to lose weight, but it's on a lot of people's minds. And especially as you age and your hormones change and all these things, and you just can't seem to figure out or you can't get a handle on it. They are going to help you with that. And they do so much lab testing as well. They check everything. So they have 130 plus health signals that they can test. And so this goes into like heart metabolism hormones so when i turned 40 i just had like the largest panel of labs done just to check absolutely everything and my mom has had thyroid problems i have blood pressure issues i just wanted to get everything checked hormones i mean as you age it couldn't be more important and like it's just a little intimidating being like what do i test and how do i test it so it really is just all here for you i mean i'm lucky they have liver kidney immune defenses nutrients blood i can't tell you how many girlfriends i have especially as they like age towards 40 that are like, I suddenly have certain intolerances I didn't know that I had. I'm experiencing like weight problems, hormone changes, skin, acne later in life, food sensitivity. Yeah. Yeah. And so this is sort of like a one-step shop of like different labs you can get done. Yeah. And again, I just want to close the loop on the weight loss stuff. You can access a range of doctor trusted medications from GLP-1 injections, oral medication kits and personalized doses and you can ease in with compounded GLP-1 microdose treatment plans, like they'll work that all out for you. And we just are so excited to partner with hers. They are a positive force out to provide access to care women deserve by addressing key tension points of an outdated healthcare system. Again, it is an online health and wellness company where you can get a clear picture of your health with convenient access to in-depth holistic lab testing. If prescribed, you can access a treatment plan that is not one size fits all. It's going to be for your specific needs that goes beyond medicine with lifestyle tips for better outcomes. 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But this year, really, I was like, oh, there's like a lot of changes. Yeah. I mean, some of the stuff is like just rebranded from stuff from the previous years or from, you know, just life. But we did like some of these things. And, you know, again, the terminology that we're using out here. And last year, I remember it being AI, of course. We'll talk about AI a little bit today. And like unseriousness and taking dating less seriously and kind of gamifying it. And I almost think this year is more serious. I think people are being more clear, more honest. There's more self-expression. I think people, I think last year was about let's be so unserious about this. And I think you should be light and silly with it. But I still think there's a way to communicate what you want and be honest and filter out for what you don't want, not waste your time while still being like light. And having fun. Yeah. Yeah. So to me this year, clarity, confidence, honest self-expression. We're going to get into it. So we scoured the internet for these. There's all these think pieces out there and all the things and saw a lot of experts speak on this. I saw a lot from Logan Urie, who is a data scientist at Hinge. We've had on the podcast a few times. She's just really the goat when it comes to all this stuff. I was watching her on a Today Show interview, and we just pulled these from a lot of different places. And there's some out there that we saw that we don't co-sign. And so we just picked our six that we really believe are going to be prevalent this year. And I co-sign a lot of these. Like I'm just in talking to my male friends and female friends. I see a lot of these things happening. So sometimes you see these articles and you're like, God damn it. But like, I really this do be happening. Right. It's just like the same old show with a different name. So, OK, so the first one, this is they're calling it hot take dating. But all it means is being up front about where you stand in your political. I say that in quotes, your value system in this current landscape. from the jump i think just being up front about like where your values are in general like i think that a lot of people especially on dating apps want to cast a wide net and yeah that's why you see a lot of profiles that are just like i like walks on the beach and i like to be with my family and i understand the notion to be like i want to attract the largest amount of people and then i will self-filter yeah but i had a girlfriend talking to me the other day and she was sending me her screenshot my friend emily our friend emily for my friend she was sending screenshots something she was talking to this guy about and she likes to talk she watches these documentaries about scotland these like pov videos about living in scotland i was like yes that's her king i'm i watch different pov stuff yeah it's a porn category the kilts though i can get down some kilts we were talking about like the way i talked to man i was sending her some sex and she was like we talked to man very differently she's sending me these like scotland things she's sending this guy and he was like huh okay but i was like i think this is cute i think it's cute that you're sharing like really specific things about yourself and not that like wanting to live in scotland is a value but like she has these specific interests and i don't think she's trying to like cast a wide net i think she's like this is what i'm like i'm a little nerdy in my interests sometimes i like history i like but i liked it because i was like this is the opposite of casting a wide net this is like this is what i am niche net yeah yeah and this is like this is what you're getting if you don't like that that might not be for everybody you can see yourself out yeah and if you don't like it, sure. But if you won't even humor me or entertain it, like I love when I meet somebody's friend or even when I was on these streets dating that like has a niche interest and they're passionate about it. And even if I'm not into it, I want to hear them talk about it. And I'm going to ask questions and try to understand their passion for it. But to your point, politics is probably the number one thing that people are saying, like, I have no tolerance today for somebody who is not aligned with my beliefs. At this point, I cannot imagine going into a first date because I'm married. I'm kidding. If I were dated, I cannot imagine a world going into a first date not knowing where someone stood. But I absolutely cannot imagine leaving a first date and knowing. We're at an inflection point in this country. And I just feel like if you are still in support of Donald Trump and the violence and the attacks in the communities and the blatant racism and the child sex trafficking ring and just honestly all the lies, the unhinged dictator behavior. Like you should be publicly shamed. We're getting there and I love to see it. Like if at this point, after all after the last month, if you can still be like, I support this man, I love for you to be open about that because you should be publicly shamed. Like this is no more We hold different values and this and that. You don't have to be a super liberal person. You don't have to identify as that. But if you can't denounce this hate and racism and pedophilia, we are not moving forward. That's what it is. I mean, there is just a real line now between good and evil, I think. And it felt different in 2016. Not to me. I still feel like there was a line, and you should know better. But whatever. Here we are. but today this defines your character whether you're in a cult or not yeah in 2016 i could still go on a date with somebody that genuinely identified as moderate not like was maga but but this is where i grew up this is my family's like this is how they've always voted i think you could professionally work with people that were like that i think you could have friends that were like that i could go on a date with somebody like that and still go out with them again you can't do that anymore today it's so divisive like you have to be able to go home at the end of the and talk to your romantic partner about what you're watching on the news, what you're scrolling on social media. I mean, I could not get through 20 minutes of, I can't, two minutes. I can't debate this with you. And true moderates are opposed to Donald Trump. Let's be, if you call yourself a moderate and you support that, you're a MAGA. There's just the bucket now that's just MAGA. So I need to know that you're not a MAGA. Yeah, which Super Bowl halftime show did you watch? That's what I'm likely. and again if you are really passionate about it you should find someone that is somewhat passionate as well and not just indifferent i was reading this article the cut or the new york times where they interviewed this couple that broke up and it was political based and he wasn't maga but he just didn't share her passion and it started to come between them and it eroded over time and it kind of started during covet and it was fascinating to read her and his part of it and again it wasn't like he was this like maga guy but they just didn't align in how much she cared about the state of the world and there were other things too but it ended up not working out for them so i just think like you were saying that jeremy was saying he was seeing this on field about like where people stood politically like outright yeah i couldn't believe it because field is i mean i've gone on great dates with people from it but at its core it is a sex app yeah find people that have like the same kinks as you and jeremy said every single person's profile says like if you don't support palestine if you don't support free palestine don't message me if you don't support israel don't message me like he was like there is a little statement in every single person's profile and i i was so shook by this like i do understand this on hinge bumble i mean tinder but a sex app but it's like you can't come inside of here if you don't align with me politically and Yeah, I do get it. Yeah. Wherever you want to draw that line. Listen to a man like passionately speaking about the same political things that I believe in. I was in a car with this guy the other day and he was like talking about comedians that helped to swing the election, including like Joe Rogan. And he was like, I think it's gross and it's like hard to be around that kind of thing. I was like, I will suck your dick in this car right now. No, these Raina, sometimes I need to get off a tick tock with these hot liberal men. that one guy chuck i was like you got it we got and then then taylor sent me another one i mean there's so many of them there's no hot maga those people are disgusting like these men are so sexy and they're speaking out on behalf of women and immigrants and just the state of the world and it's so hot like taylor sent me one the other day i was like new crush alert like you know john favreau is my hall pass like i have the weirdest crushes because it's so hot it's so hot a man that will like speak out about this i'm so turned that guy chuck are we gonna get him i'll dm him hi sometimes i'm watching so i was watching this one on tiktok and it wasn't one of these guys i mentioned i don't remember his handle and he was like basically just trying to speak to maga people and he was like come on come in close i want to talk to you guys about something you know the rest of you if you you know you're on the right side of history you can keep scrolling i'm like i'm staying here and the way i watched it i was like i shouldn't be watching like i am so turned on by this man i like should not be watching this he was like a beautiful man here i go again just for our friend's husband we got talking about politics recently and i was like he's never been hotter to me he's friends with shashank like he was sitting right there shashank is a crush on him too shashank yesterday was like he's so great he's so wonderful but he's like i was phone banking for kamal like i've been in the trenches for a really long time and i was like telling my friend who's married to him, I'm like, you got a good one. I did not have a no tolerance policy for this kind of stuff 10 years ago. I mean, even like a few years ago, I didn't have an absolutely no tolerance, but I could still hang out with you. But I truly like today to support MAGA or not like people are like, not everything's political. Yes, it is. Everything today actually is political. It is what you think about gay people's rights and trans people's rights and women's rights and the rights of everybody, immigrants, any minority. The Constitution, do you care about it? do you care about actual law and order i mean i do abuse victims i'm everything is actually political today and i had a feel yeah if you can look at that and you're fine with it then you can't be up inside of this yeah and again it's like the word politics or political in general is just can be such an inflammatory it's not even that it's just it is just values at this point like i sometimes frame it that way we don't have the same type of values i don't trust your character in today in 2026. So I think it's fine to like lead with that. It's like I can't show up really anywhere and not be like, Oh, what a fucking day. I mean, it's in 2026. Like if there are so few days that go by that haven't been impacted by what the administration is doing. So it's like, I wouldn't roll up to a first date. And again, immediately unload and start talking politics. But it has shaped the day. It has colored my mood. Also you very on that side of the internet but even if you weren even if it wasn you I don know how anybody is avoiding this today Like I am so happy for a break in politics Like when I finally get to like talk about like the Beckhams or like Kim Kardashian and Lewis Hamilton like, I'm so happy for a five-second break in this bullshit. Like, I feel like you get happy and you're like, I'm almost happy. Oh, nope, something terrible happened. Like, we, like, write these outlines for the snack and we're like, we can't talk about this all day. Like, we've got to find, like, some joy. So I just, I need to be able at the end of the day to like be with my partner and talk about my values and what I think about what I've seen on the internet all fucking day. Yeah. And again, like, but to your point, like rolling up to a date that you're excited about a first date, a second date, you should be able to be light and not talk about quote unquote politics or whatever's happening in the world that day. But like, we've been here an hour. Time to say something. So what do you think of the terrible thing that happened today? What do you think about Minnesota? As a place. Like, you know, I don't know. It's just, I can't help myself. What do you think about children in cages? Yes or no? Right. Hey, what do you think the appropriate age of consent is? What do you think about Kid Rock? What do you think about non-Americans performing at the Super Bowl? What do you think about this woman with Mar-a-Lago face? Is she attractive to you? Is orange an appropriate skin color? Yeah. tanny beds yay or nay okay so that's the first one we obviously went a little hard on it but the second one is chalance chalance chalance chalance chalant or chalance you can say chalant like non-chalant or chalance so it just means not nonchalant it's a visible effort yeah not nonchalant being vulnerable even at the risk of being rejected i mean i think women were so conditioned to don't be too much don't ask for too much be the cool girl yep don't act like you have a lot of needs or like you're gonna like draw a boundary just be cool just be waterboarded by whatever it is they want to do take it just let it go like don't be too much to handle the cool girl the whole thing and i think that like i'm not i'm not gonna shame women but we all we were all told to like chill out a little bit and be the cool girl and then men's behavior ran wild and now we need to get a hold of them now we need to explain to them how to behave yeah yeah i mean it's just again like stopping the playing games stop trying to be chill or detached and vulnerability is what brings you closer to someone in a relationship this isn't to say pour your heart out on date one but if you're on the apps express your intention on the app and I'm hearing about more and more people expressing that on the date like are you looking for a relationship or not and again sometimes we're talking to people that are dating in their mid to late 30s or 40s but I'm thinking of a friend who was back on the dating scene at 39 she's about to be 40 and was in a decade-long relationship and is back out there date one she's up front with people about what she's looking for and vice versa and she's still figuring it out and she's been playing the field she's been crushing it but she's not going into it like i'm really just trying to have fun and hook up and that is totally fine to say that too i think that's so refreshing especially you go on a date with a guy he's like i'm honestly just like trying to have fun right now i'm not trying to settle down thank god you told me no i love that i love when somebody is just honest about what they're doing and i think there's a really easy casual way to say like this is what i'm looking for it's not desperate you know i think people they're like I don't want to be too much. I don't want to sound desperate. Just saying that what you're looking for is not desperate. It's just honest. And somebody else could either match or not match that energy. That's fine. I want to know, do you want to get married? Do you want to be in a social life? Do you want to have kids? I'm not firing it off. Like, you better tell me this right now. Yeah, here's your questionnaire. But like, I think it's kind of hot to be like confident enough to be like, this is what I'm looking for. If you're not, that's fine. Yeah, and we always say, don't play hard to get. Be hard to get. Live a full life. Don't make finding a partner. your entire personality and that will come through to potential love interest you know like be busy be doing the things don't wait around for texts and calls and plans like live your life and date around and do all the things and be confident and secure and happy and that will come through but like to have to be thinking this many hours before i respond to this or this and that like trying to play the game just try to live a life where you naturally are it's so exhausting trying back like you don't care and like right then it's on my mind did i like text this person back how long do i have to wait should i initiate a plan like it's just too exhausting for me to like keep up with that you know and it took me 40 years to get here but if somebody does not is not intentional doesn't text me back doesn't make plans i just lose interest and i don't need to like be like i'm looking for a serious relationship but if you can't participate it's just i just i'm not interested i know and it's so nice to get to that point in your life i was with a friend recently of ours and one of her best friends is single and she's younger she's 32 some of you guys are hearing that like oh my god it's so old but she's younger compared to us i mean that's 10 years younger than me and she's still in that like only likes assholes and guys treat her nicely and it turns her off and she just wants to like fuck this dusty guy who's mean and i was like oh god it's i mean we've all been there ish you know some of us more than others but man when you outgrow that feels so good I mean, it's a lifetime of work, but I've had a couple situations this year with guys that didn't treat me that nicely. And my immediate conclusion was this says more about you than it does about me. And I don't feel so bad about myself and so rejected. I feel like you weren't that nice to me. And I feel like that's on you. OK, let's take a quick break and then we will go over the other four dating trends. OK, my absolute favorite bras and underwear. I have one on now if you guys can see it. when I got my breast, my 19 breast reductions, the first thing I thought was I need new bras. And the first thing I did was go to scams. So I love the fits everybody bras. They are so comfortable. I do the ones with underwire. I sleep with them. I wear them just honestly, every time I'm just not in the shower. They are so comfortable. They're lifting. They feel great. They have every size imaginable. They have so many colors. There's just like so much variety and it is really, really durable. It feels amazing under my clothing. Amazing to sleep in. 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Okay, so this next one, I didn't see this explicitly on these lists, but I decided. And I mean, I saw some things that like alluded to it and we'll get to that, but just romance in general, I think is in. i think about wuthering heights coming out and bridgerton and then shows like heated rivalry and it's just it feels like we are wanting romance and it's it's back you know that the number one thing i hate the number one trope i hate in any book any movie every tv show is some girl that's pining after some avoidantly attached man and she just waits around getting treated like shit yeah he wakes up one day and realizes that she is the one yeah i hate it so much i cannot digest any more content about this and like i am glad there's finally more content yes about like pursuing women yes and just being kind to each other and like being romantic i mean that's what i'm looking for a hundred percent so what does romance look like in 2026 you said visible effort before the visible effort this this is it making a plan listening when we talk and picking up on cues and then making a plan surrounding something that we like flowers cards follow-up text did you get home okay do you even like no that's the bar is so low like i really think that we like this cool girl thing we all tried to do it set the bar low i'm part of the problem i tried to cool girl myself to death i don't like it i want i do i want to text at the end of the night yeah i had a great time did you get home okay yeah can i pay for your uber i'm not reaching for my card anymore no you need to pay if you if i reach for my card we're gonna be friends 100 no if i insist on paying never talk to me again if you say yes oh if you allow me to put the check with you i just i'll listen i'm not doing it but then maybe we're on the same page we hate each other yeah bye I know. But listen to what I say and send me an article tomorrow about something that you saw that made you think of me. Just a follow-up to a plan. Just the plan. So I was watching Logan Urie on the Today Show, and she was saying that we women prioritize planning over paying. You need to pay, too. But our top priority is having the plan. She said effort is the new currency. And she said 72% of women on Hinge say they prefer someone who makes more effort versus someone who makes a hiring. income. Of course, you probably want someone who has a job and who is, you know, who is financially stable and maybe you're looking for a rich guy, whatever. But like, this is the thing women are talking about the most. I mean, we're preaching to the choir with our audience, but men that are listening. I mean, this is the thing. It's the plan. I don't care how much money you make. And I know that I'm in a financial position that I support myself, you know, and I know that everybody's not in that position. A lot of people would like a dual income household. I don't have that option at the moment. So I have to support myself. But I would much rather you tell me like this thing that you planned for us than like, this is this thing I'm paying for this like amount of money I bring to the table. I, I can find a million men that bring a lot of money to the table. I don't care. It's so true. And again, I feel like Kiki Palmer where we're like, we all need your money. We got the money, you know, and not everybody has that situation. But I think men a lot of times have historically gotten away with, I make the money for both of us, and I don't need to do anything else. I'm paying for it. You plan it. And again, I understand if there's a world in which if a woman isn't working, if we're talking about heterosexual relationships, of course, the man isn't, he's paying for the stuff. He's paying for the vacation. You got to plan it. He's working. You're not whatever you guys got going on. But early days, this like, I'm a rich finance guy. I don't need to put in any effort aside from picking up the bill. I think we are out on that. Where do you want to go? Let me know where you want to go. I'll meet you there. That is such an ick to me. Your only value is that you're paying for this. You didn't plan it. I had to plan it. I had to do glam and get an outfit and get myself here. All you're doing is paying. Again, not everybody has money, but I could have paid for this. Plan the thing. But that's the whole thing about like women today are like so educated. We make our own money. And like the value that we need our partner to bring is not money anymore. And we need you to bring your personalities to the table. Yeah. And how are you going to emotionally support me? Like the last thing that women today really – listen, I'll take your money too. But I think on the list – like when I talk to my girlfriends, like what are you looking for today? I rarely hear money. I know. I know. I mean all my girlfriends can support themselves. If you're single, you're supporting yourself. So I never hear really girlfriends. I mean, all my friends want to date somebody who's financially stable. Yes, of course. Of course. No one's like, I want a broke ass bitch. Yeah, I'd like to support this man. But like, I don't know. It's so far down on the list these days. Like, I would like you to bring your personality to the table and your thoughtfulness and your effort. Yeah. And in terms of planning, this is not saying plan everything. I plan more in our relationship because I want to do what I want to do. But I'm even thinking of early days with Shashank, just the thoughtfulness. He would send me songs, things like that. And he, of course, would plan stuff and flowers and cards. And he's really sentimental and thoughtful, too. You don't have to go as hard as he does. He really is the elite. But just that you thought about this, I think that's again, like it goes so far. You listen to a thing I was into and have an idea or have like now have presented me with you want to go to this thing next weekend or this type of food I like. That is the lowest bar. like you have asked what type of food she likes and that's where you take her the next date oh my god the romance it's serious like we're like that's so romantic like literally right like we as women if i said i like tacos and the second date he was like i remember you saying you love tacos i'd love to take you to my favorite taco place i'm literally telling my friends on the group chat this is romantic so i'm busting the door open i'm like guess what he did guess what He didn't listen to a sentence I said. Yeah. And he plays something we would both enjoy. Yeah. And the other thing that is a trend that I saw is this yearning energy, yearner energy, however you want to phrase it. And again, this is why we're obsessed with heated rivalry, summer I turned pretty, Bridgerton. It's that yearning of it all. And it's hot to want someone. That's what it is. It's hot to be wanted. It's hot to have that type of tension and that will they, won't they. And I'm not saying to want someone you can't have and that's not what I'm talking about. That sucks. But on the positive side of it, it's just showing that you want somebody. That's what's so hot of heated rivalry. If we're talking about that, for example, it got so hot when they went to the cottage because they were both in it. Like the second episode, I didn't love because that's when Ilya was a dick to Shane. And that's what made me almost turn the show off. and then see episode three brought me back because it was this yearning and this love story like we like this shit this shit is hot show that you like somebody and shane being like come to my cottage i mean it's like the most memed thing on the internet it's like somebody being actually intentional being like this is i want this thing yes and can i tell you about this i was gonna talk about this on the snack but it's fine because you brought up bridgerton i was like in bed the night and i watched the new episode of tell me lies which is just so much toxic terrible male behavior and then I watched a little bit of euphoria season two which is nothing but like this horrible love triangle like Nate treating Cassie and Maddie so poorly and I was like why do i feel so bad in my body like why do i feel so and i had i had had the same thing a couple nights in a row i watched a little bit of tommy lies then euphoria and i had nightmares i turned on bridgerton right after and i was like the palate cleanser i know i feel like better in my body i know i think i'm just starting to really not enjoy watching yes this really bad male behavior towards women. A hundred percent. I don't know. I guess I used to tell me like season one was different. This toxicity season three is so dark. I know. And I love the show. You know what? I'm going to keep watching it, but I think you're so right. The tides have really shifted from a tell me lies toxicity to this heated rivalry love story. And that is healthy growth for all of us. I know. I was so proud of me. I was like, oh, she doesn't like this that much anymore. And we can all watch things that we don't want. I mean, that's the point of escapism. But if you find yourself really gravitating towards this healthy love and this yearning, you should listen to that. And if you still find yourself gravitating towards fucking Steven, then go to therapy. This season is beating me down, man. It's been hard for me. Okay. So another trend, I think you, did you just tell me this is a trend, is voice noting. I saw this as well on a few lists and I saw Logan talk about it as well. I love it. I've been doing this for about the last year with people. I mean, I just think that I'm so funny, and I think that people should just hear me talk about stuff. I think that, like, I'm just hilarious. But I don't know. It communicates my personality also, and I also think this weeds people out quickly. If they're like, I'm not interested in this type of communication. Like, we always talk about people, like, everybody communicates differently. They text differently. Some people call you and FaceTime you, which I don't like. But voice noting to me, it's like, I want you to hear me being, like, silly, ridiculous, talking really fast, lots of ideas and opinions. Like, if you don't like that, then I'm not for you. but I like the level of intimacy it communicates. Yes. I am obsessed with this in dating, and I was looking at it in a before a first date type of way. So I never did this. I sound like an old married lady. I ain't never back in my day. But in 2023, yes, we had voice notes, but we weren't using them like we do now. It's like a true primary form of communication. So I would have never thought before going on a date with somebody to potentially voice note them. But Rain and I feel like we're the real trailblazers of needing to hear someone's voice. After I went out with that guy who had a great banter with and he showed up with the voice of Michael Jackson, I was like, I need to hear someone's voice going forward. And no, I don't want to get on an introductory call. So the voice note is the perfect way. And then Hinge, of course, adopted the voice prompts and we were like, they copied us. But the voice note is a way to do it. And I like that sometimes the vibe on a voice note is like, I just didn't want to text. And it's not in like a lazy way, but it's just like, have you ever surprised voice noted someone that like you've just like, I think I had a videographer one time in a city that I'd hired for my tour. And I just was like doing something, didn't feel like texting, had something I feel like needed a little more context. I voice noted the stranger and had to be like, I'm so sorry to voice note you right now. But like, here's where I'm at. Like, I think it can surprise people, maybe not always in the best way, but there's nothing wrong with being like, so this is weird, but I just wanted to voice note you. like accepting that like we are strangers before a first date and i just wanted to send you this voice note like even introducing it in that way i love it i also voice noted a videographer the other day who was a new videographer i need to give him some context yes yeah i just i like to be able to hear the smile in somebody's voice and everybody kind of looks for somebody different we were talking to this girl the other day she was talking about her husband she was like i like guys that are a little more robotic i like i like tom brady and i was like oh that is a tough one but Like if you heard that in a voice note, a guy that was a little more serious, a little more like self-possessed and like poised, that probably wouldn't be for me. I want to hear the smile in your voice. Yes. But if you're a man with a hot voice and you are not voice noting before first dates, you are really missing out on an opportunity here. Like I'm thinking about this. I'm just trying to put myself in these shoes of going on a first date with someone that you've had some communication with. Hopefully you've had some banter with. You're looking forward to it. And they send you a voice note. Hey, just want to say I'm really looking forward to our date tonight. Oh, I mean, panties are already on the floor. Ten seconds. You are fine up the group chat. You'll never believe what he did. Romance. I'm just hurt on by this. Or if you hear Michael Jackson come through, dates canceled. Would you cancel on somebody? A hundred percent. I don't know what I would do. It would have to be so bad. Like, again, that guy showed up 6'6". Hey. What's your favorite candle? Remember we talked about candles? you know when i when i was talking about candles with that guy i was like check please it wasn't during covid too like we were already going through so much it was the week of the election results oh my god it was such a weird time yeah so i just like somebody that i like i like a talker i like somebody like it feels to me like somebody that's gonna be like talking a lot which well i like someone's gonna ask me a lot of questions but i just really like this and i do think years ago before the voice note was so popular before it even existed i don't know what year it came out you would sometimes find yourself in a situation where someone wanted to get on the phone and i it's too much i don't know it feels too serious so this is like the perfect way if you were really a person that's like i really want to hear someone's voice i want to hear their tone before i go spend my evening with them this is the solution and let yourself shine it's how i shine is on a voice i mean 90 of my relationships are only communicated i know exactly if your voice notes ever got hacked we'd be oh my god okay so this is what an example of something that just has been rebranded is friend influence yeah friend fluent friend fluence and this is basically just having your friends set you up on dates having your friends post on instagram she's single guys you know something like that who knows you better than your friends who can spot red flags quicker than your friends who can pick people out for you. Sometimes I think that like we self filter people out that actually might be good matches for us. And you do need like, listen, you always need to give me a second opinion of what I think. I think I might want to do something until you tell me I don't. And I'm like, you're right. Sometimes you might think you like a guy, but you could be wrong. Or you might think that a friend rejected you, but as it turns out, you started it. But this is also can just be like there's different levels of this. We've seen different bullet points about like the group chat test. I read this thing. This is a vice article. It says your friends act as your emotional co-pilots, providing immediate feedback on profiles, conversations and potential dates. And they can vet for red flags. I mean, the main issue here is like make sure you have solid friends who want the best for you. Who are we talking to recently? and she said she wanted a very specific answer that like none of her stable friends would give her so she asked her one like crazy friend that wasn't me no it was exactly me she was just like i knew she would tell me like the toxic answer so you kind of know but we've said this before you aren't just dating someone you're dating their circle you're dating their family and their friends and this is something we've talked about for years and also with esther perel about having a group hang be a first or second date first date not always for everybody we also talked about with Jared, have someone meet you where you're already at. If you're going to go do this thing, watch football, whatever it is, with your friends at a sports bar, can this new person come? Again, maybe not. It's not first date for everybody, but second, 100%. I'm going to be out. Why don't you stop by? And if you were somebody who wants someone who is confident and social, only a confident social person is going to show up, so they're vetted there. I read this this quote said that much of this shift likely stems from social media and the rise of dating talk date with me videos TikTok has turned modern dating into a shared activity which is just kind of again the like sharing the dating stories and like come with me but also like my friend is single what's up and I think this like works a little bit better with guys I don't I think you can invite some unwanted attention if you're like look at this single hot girl but like I love those TikToks where it's like hey here's my friend I know I love those he's a solid dude I'm vouching for him. I'm a woman who's vouching for this guy. Like, what's up? Like, why not use our friends and our friends followings and circles to find dates? I also think, you know, we can only see the world through the lens by which we've experienced things. So like, if I have had two, three, four really negative dating experiences, I will start to see the world through that lens. I use eyes like the plural. But your friends are able to zoom out a little bit more and be like, just because this person did this doesn't mean the next person. And I think that your friends can encourage you to kind of make different decisions because you're only seeing the world through the lens of you. Yeah. And sometimes you really do need an outsider. I mean, obviously, your friends are biased because they want the best for you, but they're not in it the way that you are and they are not dealing with all of your collective use of trauma, baggage, whatever. It may be our friend that we were talking about who is back on the scene after dating 10 years, and she's also dealt with some health things. And she's just she went back on the dating scene with a lot going on. And I think she has really leaned on her friends to tell her like, what's, I don't know, a red flag, a green flag, like, am I overreacting? Is this an ick? Or what's normal out there these days? She's been dated in 10 years and she's been through some shit. I've never thought about that. I mean, so many people at 40 are going through their first divorce or their first ending of a very serious long-term relationship. They haven't been in the dating world for so long. Yeah. And she's had some barriers getting physical with some of these guys. And she's just like, is it them or is it me? I mean, she's really being open and vulnerable. Like, is it me or is it this person? And we don't know, you know, but I think we're really always trying to take a look at the situation and be like, actually, I don't think you really like that guy. And then there's another guy that's like, actually, I think you should lean into this guy. I think that it's your own shit holding you back from opening up to him. And so I like that she has turned to her and she's a therapist. I mean, she has all the information, but it's sometimes you can't see it from the outside the way your friends can. I'm a therapist and I can't see it when it's happening to me. I mean, I can give her advice all day long. She was like, maybe this. I was like, you don't like him. You don't like this. The answer. You're stuck that into him. Yeah, that's the answer. Yeah, sometimes you're right. you have a friend can be like you don't like him or a friend can be like i think you do like him and you're scared for some reason whether it's fear of rejection or fear of intimacy or whatever it may be do you think that's what's happening with me with that guy i told you i don't like you're like reina you really do like reina i'm terrified for you to like i i'm not thinking about every day i'm not gonna like i can't right we can't we all of us all the inner circle can't we can't do this again i feel like there'll be a real intervention i feel like you yeah that's what we thought last year it'll be a real no what is our breaking point i'm texting melanie hey when do we actually sit her down we bring bill i feel like in the fall that situation i went through i think everybody tried to deal with me by not talking to me about it i think everybody was like if we just don't acknowledge it maybe it'll go away and i was like okay this did blow up in a way that i didn't expect and i was like pretty cool about it but i feel like this time people are not gonna be nice to me this time you are gonna be alone on an island sitting at home crying nobody to call you're gonna have all these new friends all of a sudden because they're the ones you can talk to i love a new audience like sometimes megan who's like a newer friend in the last couple years like i'll tell her stuff but I know I can take it a little bit further with her. Me or Melanie will do it. Yes, because you guys, Emily, you guys are like, I've done this. I'm done with this. Emily screamed at me, get your shit together. Emily was like, oh, for one time I said one of these, Emily goes, oh, for fuck's sake. And that's like your little sister. Like, that's Louisa to me. Like, we have an older little, I feel like we have a very, like, sibling vibe. And if she was like, Ashley, get your shit together, I'd be like, I will absolutely get my shit together. Oh, my God. Okay. Emily, for fuck's sake. I was like, I will never bring this up again. Right. When someone that you have like an older sister energy towards tells you to fucking pull it together. That means it's time. Okay. So the last one is just obviously AI. And we did talk about AI last year. And I don't even I should have listened back. But it's just changing every day. And people obviously have mixed thoughts about AI. And we're going to see more and more about how it plays into dating. But we couldn't talk about trends in anything without talking about the trends in AI. So, I mean, we might do a full episode on this down the road. But there are these apps that, like, basically are just using it to find you more compatible partners and ease the swiping fatigue. There's an app called No, I guess. It's like an AI matchmaker. So I was going to suggest one to you because our friend used one. Oh, that's right. Yeah. She's really into it. It's called Amata, A-M-A-T-A. It's only in San Francisco and New York right now, but she had such a good experience with it. So there are all kinds of AI features on the traditional dating apps like Hinge and Tinder and Bumble, but these are specifically for matchmaking. And so she said – For matchmaking, yeah. Okay, so they match you with somebody. It removes all swiping. So basically she said it's front-loaded with a little more stuff. So you have to really give more information about what your intentions are, what you're looking for. It's not just like, answer these three prompts. Like she said, you really have to and all of these ones like this are a little more work on the front end for you. But then it just goes into the database and it just matches you with people. You don't have to swipe. I mean, this is what I've always wanted. Like I've always just said, like, set me up on a date. I'll just go to the date. And like she basically said, you put your availability, meet somebody. And if you don't commit after matching with somebody or if you bail or cancel, you get penalized. And there's things like that. So it's also like it controls for bad behavior. Yeah. So you're not just constantly like, yeah, I'm going to meet up with somebody, and then they go soon and you'll overhear from them again. People that are on this app and similar apps, you have to behave correctly or you can't be on that app. 100%. Yeah, and again, all these apps are using AI, and not all of them are promoting it. But Tinder, I guess, is implementing this new feature called Chemistry that's going to be AI-based. I mean, they're all using them. I listened to the Bumble founder, her interview with The Daily last year about where Bumble is headed. And so they're all using these, everything is, every tech platform is using AI in some way. But there are, like Raina said, these actual apps that are like AI matchmakers for you. And again, it's not a human. They can't always get it right. But a human matchmaker can't always get it right. I mean, but it's like, it's all just information and pattern based. And I mean, I remember when Hinge, they probably still do this. I haven't been on it in a while, asks you like, did you go on the date? You know, things like that. I mean, maybe they're vetting for people who actually go on dates, you know, and they're going to match more people that go on the dates because they can tell people they're just swiping for fun in a noncommittal way. So there are positives to it. And I like that it could ease dating fatigue in general. Yeah, just it's the swiping that is the barrier. Yeah, that's the bottleneck for me. Like, I know that you could argue that, like, the downside of this is that everybody's going to say I want the same thing. everybody's going to optimize for a certain type of height and income level and career and things like that but yes sure sure that's true what what did scott galloway say like the top 10 percent of people on a dating app get like 90 percent of the attention something like that but that's always a risk in any dating app scenario like i'd rather somebody remove the swiping for me and just be like we found this person would you like to go out with them based on the things you said that you like or who you actually dated in the past like reina greenberg reina's like oh i want someone six five and they're like how tall was your last boyfriend be honest we found pictures on the internet of it and we actually see that he was 5 11 so you're gonna take this fucking 5 11 guy like i'd like that they would be like you're lying and we know you're lying and we checked the internet app that's just like okay we know what you said you wanted but you actually like broke guys and you say you want somebody with a career but you don't oh my god that's a funny app just tough love we just call it tough love but it's like lying and then i purposely sleep with somebody that's 6'4 just just up my average yeah exactly that is so funny you have your own little ai bot it's like i actually checked your instagram and what you're saying you're wanted and they're like ma'am no and i'm like i did just sleep with somebody that's 6'4 do you want to see his dick pics actually submit them right they're like prove it the photos give a rating okay so those are your trends to look out for in 2026. If you guys have other ones, let us know in the comments on YouTube or Spotify. We always love reading your comments. We were just reading a chaotic comment section the other day from two weeks ago. It was all over the place. So we always like seeing what you guys have to say and leave a rating for the podcast. If you're here, we are eight years in. So if you are enjoying it, just leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify and subscribe on YouTube and share this with a friend. I think this is a great episode to share, especially with your friends who are out there in the dating scene. This will be a good one. And girls got to eat.com girls got to eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok, reina.greenberg, reinagreenberg.com for her tour tickets and all the other things I said, and we'll see Thursday. Have a great week, guys. Bye.