She Was a Corporate Lawyer. Then She Asked Herself One Question That Changed Everything.

Got into law school, graduated, got a corporate job, and I was sitting there one day thinking, is this it? Is this what my life is going to be about? Very warm welcome to the Balance Theory podcast. Try to find something that at least make you feel a bit more of a drive. And it was at this moment where I interviewed her that I was contemplating leaving my full-time job. We had a really long conversation that was like the cherry on top of a big decision and a big turning point in my life. I was exercising, I was making time for my friends, I was giving my network active, I was working, I was doing everything, my schedule was jam-packed. When I look back at it now, it freaks me out a little bit. Life is not 50% work, 50% life. It kind of made me feel like I had to calibrate all these different things so they were all equal and all sort of tended to at once. And that's just not life. And I was using other people as a mirror to myself rather than looking at myself in the mirror. Some people just want the freedom to travel. Some people want to have a family. Some people want to travel with their family. You know, there's so many variables. For me, family is like a number one value. So you have this gorgeous baby girl. How did you balance going back to work? Of how like now you can use AI to just create content. There'll be a lot of positives that come with AI, educational, it'll be accessible. At the end of the day, you yourself as an individual, what you gain from doing the work, creating the content, having the conversations, is irreplaceable. You have that intuitive feeling or maybe I shouldn't move overseas or maybe I shouldn't enroll in that course. Yeah, go and do it. AI is never gonna have an experience for you. One of the most important decisions somebody makes in their life is. When you're listening to this episode, I want you guys to do this little exercise. What is one thing that you really want to do but haven't done because of fear? Fear of your partner, your spouse, colleagues, the outside world family. What is the one thing that's holding you back from accomplishing something that you really want to do? I want to hear from you guys in the comments. Today's guest is Erica DePelligran and why I was so inspired by her is she used to live in Australia, she was a corporate lawyer and then she decided to start her podcast called The Balance Theory that I follow and while being a new content creator, moved her to the buy and started life here and is now a young mom. And I was so inspired by this woman who had this traditional corporate job and training and decided, you know what, this isn't fulfilling me, this is not everything to me. There's more to life that I want and she didn't know anything about podcasting, started this incredible podcast that has completely blown up which is how I discovered it and then not only started a new podcast, moved continents and started living in the buy and started a new chapter of her life. And I think it's really important for all of you women who listen to us week after week to know that you can change your life at any given time as long as you're inspired and that is what today's episode is really about. Erica, thank you for coming on the show and allowing me to introduce you to our community. It's an absolute honor. Thank you, I'm on for having me on today, I'm excited. Erica, how did you go from basically being in the legal field in Australia, moving to the buy and saying, you know what, I want to become a content creator and I'm gonna start The Balance Theory and help people figure out how to balance different aspects of their life, inspire their careers. What was a pivotal point for you? I don't have one of these stories where it was like, I hated my job, quit that day, went and figured out my life and started the podcast, right? I think a lot of people wait for this like pinnacle moment where they have this sliding doors experience of like, this is what I'm supposed to do and then life just unfolds. For me, it was very much, I was sitting my corporate job. I went through an experience, I think a lot of people go through it where you go school, uni, work. I went to school, did really well at school, got into law school, graduated, got a corporate job and I was sitting there one day thinking, is this it? Is this what my life is gonna be about? And at that time I had, you know, my role models, my mom and my dad, they are what I call like careerists, right? They weren't entrepreneurs, they were careerists. I think there are two types of people in life. And so I'm thinking of this job as like, this is what I'm gonna be doing for a really long time. There was just something missing for me. I work corporate lawyer, so I, you know, don't have one of these jobs where you see in like suits where it's very dramatic and you're involved in these cool cases and you're running all around the city and like solving crimes and it's not really like that. It's like paper pushing and you very much you and paper. And I've always been one of these people that love talking to people. I love getting to know people. If I was at a party when I was younger, I'd be sitting in the back corner having a DNM, a deeper meaning for with somebody, you know, I just always gravitated to getting to know people on that level, small talk absolutely drains me. And so I was sitting there in my work thinking, okay, I'm in this position where I think a lot of people are where I don't have the financial means to just quit my job and figure it out, right? I had moved out of home, I was 22, I just bought an apartment, I had a mortgage, didn't have that much left over at the end of every week, but you know, I was doing my thing. And so I thought, how do I buffer this out? How do I create more meaning in my life without creating this massive upheaval, you know? And I don't think people need to wait for that time where they can just quit what they're doing and figure it out. I think there's this beautiful in between, especially before you start a family, before you have like massive overheads or, you know, actually at any moment in your life you can make this decision. And for me, it came down to a couple of questions. What am I missing? What's missing from my life right now? And for me, the answer to that was this deep and meaningful connection with people. I was not getting that at my job. I was getting a lot of other things. I love the strategy, the commercial aspects. I love the skills I can bring in the legal profession, I'm good at it. But I was missing that genuine connection with people. Then I thought, how do I close the gap between not having that and having that? Can I do that in my job? And I would encourage people to actually think about that because sometimes you can move within an industry that you're in, you might actually really love it, but maybe you're just in the wrong team or the wrong department, you know, maybe there's some lateral movement that can go on. To me, it came down to, I don't think I can achieve this in my job. How can I bring this into my life outside of this? And I was very interested in self development at the time. And it was January 1st, 2020. My now husband, we were together at the time. We were driving back from New Year's Eve, we were away together with some friends and we were listening to get some Gary Vee content. You know, he's very like inspiring and like spirited. It was January 1st, we were feeling very motivated. And he said, if you've got the gift of communication, you need to be giving that to the world through podcasts or YouTube channel. Like you have to be creating something to share with others. And my husband paused and he looked at me and he said, I think you should start a podcast. And I'm like, I can't explain it to you other than I just felt like a moment of clarity. I had no idea how to start a podcast. I'd never thought about myself as a host, but it just felt right for me. And that was the moment that I decided, I'm gonna allow myself to be more than my job. And I think it's so common that we box ourselves. Like, you meet someone, right? Hi, I'm Eric, I'm a lawyer. Hi, I'm Iman, I'm a business owner. You know, we tie our value and our worth to our title, what we do. It's not who we are. So in that moment, I gave myself permission to say, okay, I work as a lawyer, I have these skills, but I'm gonna allow myself to explore different parts of myself. And so that was sort of the story of how my dissatisfaction or I guess this gap or emptiness in my job allowed me to explore other parts of myself in what I would say, honestly, it was a hobby for many years at the beginning. And then your question in terms of like moving to Dubai that came a little bit later, that was maybe two years into my podcasting journey. So I was sort of working full-time and podcasting on the side, even though it was one episode a week and you would know how much work is involved. Then we sort of just due to different lifestyle factors and wanting to live overseas, my husband literally came home one day and was like, do you wanna move to Dubai? And I always wanted to live overseas. I'd never been to Dubai, honestly, did not know much about it. I had no idea it was the city it was. So I was very impressed when I got here. And I said, sure, three months later, we moved out of our place, we rented it out, we sold everything, closed all our bank accounts and came and we haven't looked back since. And when he came to, why did he pick Dubai? Why was he like, Erica, this is the place we're gonna go to? Was this something that inspired him? Was there something, piece of content that he saw online? He's like, you know what, wanna try out that city? It was, I'd say a combination of a couple of factors. It was proximity to the rest of the world and we wanted to travel. You know, it was before we got married, it was just after COVID where we had been stuck in Australia which really felt like this isolated part of the world at the time. So we wanted to travel and we felt this was a good base. It was English speaking. It was, it's great weather most of the year, tax advantages as well. So we know we could get ahead financially in our personal lives. So it was kind of like the coming together of a few. Different things. Different things. And we just thought, you know what, if we go and we don't like it, we can get on a flight straight back. We're so lucky that we're not leaving a country we can't come back to. Come back into. We're so privileged to be in that position. So we just thought, let's just go. How did you come up with the name for the podcast? So when I was thinking about, okay, when I'd landed on, okay, I'm gonna do a podcast. I'm interested in self development. What do I wanna talk about? At the time I found myself really struggling with trying to do everything and be everything to everyone. I'm the oldest daughter. And I feel this is quite common. A lot of people I meet, you know, the oldest child also came from a divorced family. And I feel this also is a common thread of like being a people pleaser. That was how maybe I received love growing up, how I got attention, how I stood out in my family. And so I found myself on this loop where I was, you know, quote unquote doing all the things. I was exercising, I was making time for my friends. I was had 500 acquaintances, keeping my network active. I was working, I was like doing everything. My schedule was jam packed. When I look back at it now, it freaks me out a little bit. You know, I was a bit younger and had the time. But to be honest with you, I just felt overwhelmed all the time. I felt guilty. Like I wasn't doing anything a hundred percent. And so I really started to think about this idea of work-life balance. Like why can't I get this right? I'm doing all the things, you know, like why am I not feeling this sense of balance in my life? And I realized that us looking at life balance through that term, that simple term work-life balance was what was really off for me. That was what was really off for me because life is not 50% work, 50% life. But that statement kind of made me feel like I had to calibrate all these different things so they were all equal and all sort of tended to at once. And that's just not life. And the other side of that too, and I know you're like me, we're very driven, very hungry kind of people. We actually quite masculine the way we work. We're very like on and productive. I found that a lot of the rhetoric around having balance in your life made you feel like you should just chill out, take it easy. Like you can't be ambitious and have life balance. And I was like, that's a lie. I don't agree with that. Because I have seen firsthand, when I prioritize my sleep, my health, my relationships, like quality in those areas, I am the best version of myself to show up at work. So I became obsessed with this idea of what does finding balance in life mean? And it's not this golden standard that everyone's striving for. It's so individualized, not just different between me and you, but it's different for me at different points in my life. Spring cleaning looks a little different in my house these days. It's not just about organizing my closets. It's about what I'm actually bringing into my space, especially as someone who cares deeply about my metabolic health and lowering overall toxin burden load. I've been using Branch Basics for almost five years, and it's just one of those swaps that totally makes sense to me. I used to have a whole cabinet of different cleaners, all with ingredients. I couldn't even pronounce. And the more I learned about hormonal health and environmental toxins, the more that started to bother me. So I switched. What I love is that everything is built around one powerful concentrate. I diluted to clean my kitchen, bathrooms, laundry, floors, even produce and makeup brushes. It's plant-based and mineral-based, fragrance-free, and made safe, certified, which means it's screened against known and suspected harmful chemicals that we do not want in our homes or in our bodies. It feels aligned with how I live. I'm not extreme about everything, but I am intentional. And this is one of those small shifts that adds up day in and day out. If you're doing a reset in your home, I really encourage you to look at what's under your sink too. Branch Basics is available at Target.com, Target in-store, Amazon, and of course, BranchBasics.com. You can get 20% off at BranchBasics.com with code BIOHACKIT20, which is B-I-O-H-A-C-K-I-T-20. After you purchase, make sure you tell them you heard about them from our show, because a clean home should actually feel clean, also for your body. So I settled on the idea of exploring this concept of balance, and then just got to throw around a few names, and it came to be the balance theory. When it comes to all the guests that you brought on an interview, is there somebody in particular, because all of us get so many learnings from our guests and we get inspired, but is it somebody who came on in particular that you walked away with a lesson or something that you could immediately implement in your life, and it changed the way you were living or doing something? Yes, and it was, you know, Tracy Hamush? Yes, I love Tracy. I had her on two years ago. It was the first time we'd met. I've had her on a few times since, but it was the first interview we did together. And so when I moved to Dubai, one thing was I was, when I moved to Dubai, I worked as a corporate lawyer here for a little while too. And it was at this moment where I interviewed her that I was contemplating leaving my full-time job and consulting, so I had more time to do the podcast more seriously. We had a really long conversation about, you know, creating your dream life. And she said many things to me on the episode and the penny just sort of dropped for me that, it solidified that decision basically. So it was like a conversation that was like the cherry on top of a big decision and a big turning point in my life. And so I would say that one has probably been a big standout for me. And for people, I said this before we started filming, I think women, we get so nervous about doing something a little bit disruptive, trying a different career later in life. We sometimes just fall into what's easy, a pattern, staying things, whether it's relationships, work, sort of friendships that we've outgrown. But what we don't realize is women, we evolve in every stage. We change so much over the course of our lives. For the women listening to this episode, how would you tell them to, if they're thinking about making a change on any level in their life, where should they turn to? What is the one place they should go within themselves to find that inspiration? Well, I've had you on my show and we were talking a lot about intuition and the role it has in terms of health. I think intuition is also where you should turn for most things. I think for me, and again, everyone has a very different vision for what they want in their life. Some people just want the freedom to travel. Some people want to have a family. Some people want to travel with their family. There's so many variables, but creating space for yourself to just be quiet without distraction. We live in a time where we wake up, we go on our phones. We go for a walk, we're also scrolling, we're watching TV. You know, I heard the other day that Netflix shows now, they have to make the storyline so basic because they know that the consumer is on their phone while they're watching the show. So they can't create these dramatic side plots because if they lose someone for two minutes, they tune back in, they're lost. They're not going to watch a show. So we're constantly plugged in. And that means by definition of that, you're not tuned into yourself. How often do you make the time to just be with yourself? You know, I had this realization a few years ago. I remember when I was little and we used to be driving some, we used to just stare out the window, daydream. And I remember thinking, I don't remember the last time I've daydreamed as an adult. And it's so important to just let your imagination go to just see what is in your mind, to check in with yourself. And so I would say to anyone listening, create space for yourself to just be with yourself. And that's not, you know, everyone has a different form. Some people love to just journal out what they're thinking. Some people like to just sit there and think, some people are talkers, right? They like to have conversation. Find your outlet to just be with yourself and tune out of the world. Because it's not just your mom, your dad, your best friend that are weighing in. It's millions of voices. It's millions of comparisons. It's millions of what you think you should be doing or not, or what other people have achieved and what you haven't. It's this constant comparison. It's very hard to understand what's right for you. And so when I did that, I knew I wanted to be a mom. And I thought, you know, I'd worked for a lot of amazing women, but the way they were working in the corporate world meant they were really absent in their children's lives. And I'm not saying that they were bad mothers at all. That was just, their work was a massive priority for them. And I knew that when the time came for me, I wanted to have some sort of flexibility because it's important for me to have my own things that I'm working towards that really fulfills me as a person. I know that makes me show up as the best podcast, I'm the best lawyer, the best sister, the best friend, the best mom. But I still wanted to be very hands on with my kids. So I needed to make some sort of a shift knowing that that was in the next five years, hopefully. And, you know, what did that look like for me? So I think step one's creating that space. And step two is really thinking about, well, what do you want out of life? And not limiting to yourself to, well, that's sort of a fantastical dream. That's not possible for me. Like, if I've learned anything from all my guests combined, is you can create whatever life and experience you want, if you believe in yourself and you arm yourself with the mindset to make it happen. I think what you're also talking about is having a strong value system. So for women listening to this and saying, listen, I might be a little bit lost. I want to take that, trust my intuition and I want to do something. But it's also going back one more layer and figuring out what are our value systems in life? And for you, you had really clear value systems. You know, I'm with an incredible, I'm with a partner. I see myself getting married. I see myself having a child. Having a child, I'd like to be more active and present in that child. While still having a career and having an income, right? But I feel like some women, they just get lost even in the day-to-day life, what's going on around them. So what advice would we give them to step back and not only follow intuition, but get really clear on what those value systems might be in different chapters of their life? It's a good question. I think it's interesting to think about where certain things come from, right? So when I think about, okay, I opted to study law. I put it on my preferences. Where did that come from? Was I this little child just wanting to be a lawyer? Like, no. Someone said to me when I was growing up, you're so smart, you'd be a great lawyer. And it just stuck with me. And then I would always hear these things, like, you know, doctor, lawyer, engineer, they're like prestigious careers to follow. So over time, these little things sort of mounted on top of each other. When I really sat with myself and questioned, what's the source of this thing in my life? It wasn't maybe something that was authentically me. And look, I've enjoyed the career. I don't regret anything because that would ultimately change who and where I am today. So I have no regrets, but I think it's interesting because you change and evolve as a person. So you should to just question, okay, I'm living in this city. Why? Because this is where I was born. Okay, is that still what you want to do? You know, just, and you would know this as well, being a host, like just bringing curiosity to different things and becoming obsessed with the question, why? And when you answer that one, you go five times, why, why, why? Until you really understand where did this come from? Oh, my parents wanted me to do this. I'm now living out their dream. You know, sometimes you have that realization. And, you know, I actually interviewed my dad for more for family memories the other day. And I realized that he, he's been an accountant his whole life. That was his dad's dream, you know, and I learned that through him, him sharing that with me. And so I think, again, creating that space and just asking why, especially where you feel like there's an obligation. That was a big one for me. I come from a big Italian family. There's the word in Italian is dovete, it's obligations. You know, you should call that auntie. You should do this, you should do that. You know, why? Is it important to you? Is that a value for you? I'm not saying go and ignore every single third relative you have, third related relative you've got. But, you know, question the source of why things deserve time and space in your life. And because that's the truth of it. Like you are an energy soul person on this planet. You need to really be able to decide what deserves your time and energy. Living in a place like Dubai, picking up on the fact that slowing down, being strong with value systems, making space in your life. Dubai is a city that's very go, go, go. And the more you do, the more it rewards you. It's like, it's got one of these frequencies. Like I got here and Christmas is not off, New Year's is not off, people are working, people are available, Saturday, Sunday does not matter. And so in a city like this that you love and you live in and I have grown to love, how do you create more of that space? How do you slow down with the constant demands of it telling you you need to do more? How do you say it to yourself, you're not actually no. I'm gonna slow down and do a little bit less over here. This really comes down to two things for me, clarity and intention. It's actually interesting. I had this experience in Australia when I was living in Sydney. I felt there was this constant, it's different energy to Dubai, but it was this feeling of you're constantly in this rat race is the term people use. You're just chasing, chasing. Everyone's just trying to get ahead and it's like stressy energy. But when I came here, I actually found, yes, I agree. The more you pour into the city, the more you get back, but I find it really inspiring. I don't find it, it demands a lot from me because you could honestly just travel here and chill out and not do much and just enjoy the city and that's it. But when you plug in, when you connect with people, when you ask, when you put yourself out there, like it does give back. So I find it less of like pressure to do more and be more and more like I've intentionally moved here. I've intentionally, we, I should say, me and my husband have intentionally decided to stay here because of the season we're in and what we're trying to create. That comes with its sacrifices, of course, but we're very clear on why we're here and what we're trying to build for our future and our family. And so it makes sense. And sort of to answer your question on how do I slow down? Having my daughter has been the most incredible lesson for me, she's only six months old, right? And I've already learned this just through her being in my life of I can have everything, just not at the same time. And what I mean by that is since I've gotten back into work, it's been very important for me to when I'm working, allow myself to be present and not being on. So guilty, I'm not with her, I should be putting her to bed. Like I felt all of that, right? But as time has gone on, I'm really trying to lean into this of it doesn't serve my work if I'm thinking about her and feeling bad. Then when I'm with her, it doesn't serve me if I'm stressing out about work. And so just being very present and intentional with where I'm at and what I'm doing, that's how I like to stay sort of aligned. And then it sort of doesn't matter what city I'm in. Then you choose to tap in and out depending on the routine outside of that. And raising your daughter here versus raising her in Australia, do you feel that you found the same community and support in essentially, I would say, like the bias foreign for us, right? We feel like at home over here, but we're not from here, from here. Versus if you're raising your daughter closer to your family in Australia. It's, look for me, family is like a number one value. I was gonna say that because when I hear you speak, that's a core value system for you. So for me, it's a huge sacrifice, if for us it's a huge sacrifice in that value that we're here right now. But if I had like say 10 things in my life that are important and family is number one, two to 10 to buy ticks over Australia right now. So it's a difficult one because our number one priority is would be better met in Australia. And I know like my family's come to visit and it's so incredible when they're here. And I do feel so guilty that my daughter is growing up away from her grandparents. But right now we've decided that for our family in our future, this is the right place for us. It always comes with sacrifices, but of course it's an incredible privilege. And we just have to make the most of time that we're together. It's actually, when we were living at home, we would do Monday night dinners. And everyone's coming together after being stressed all day and it's like check, we've done Monday night family dinner. Now we stay in touch, they come visit for a whole week. It's so much more intentional. Of course it's not the same as seeing my nephew every week or seeing my sisters every, but it's different. And for this season, I'm like. This was right for you. Yeah, it's just, it's different, but it was working. And for anybody listening, a lot of our audience is female. You know, a lot of them have young kids, slightly older kids. How did you balance going back to work? So you had this gorgeous baby girl and then did you stop the show for a little bit? Did you batch out episodes? Did you ease your way back in? How did you create that space and balance in your life? I'm a batch record type person. So I made sure I had at least the first three months once she was born to just be, I didn't want to think about an episode. I did want to think about social media, but you know what I found honestly, and I just wanted to give myself the space. I think the way we are like type A, you over engineer situations a lot. And I'm like, okay, well, I want it to be like, this is in this. And the truth is, whether it's becoming a mom or starting a new business or moving cities, right? Like what you're in between doing, you never know, you can never factor in all the ways that it's going to turn out. And so I just wanted to really give myself that space. Of course I tried to plan every single inch of it. But when it happened, you know what I found? I really am blessed to have A, my husband working from home, and he's very, very hands on with her. So we very much co-parent. It's a very, very collaborative, which means we supporting each other to drop down to the gym for an hour in the apartment building. He can still work on his things. We're very much working together. That was a big thing because we've got no family here. So I would never want someone to look at me and think, oh, she's just doing everything. Like my husband was from home and that is a massive, massive difference. And you know, this is a bit more of a logistical thing, but my daughter does take the bottle as well as breast feeds, which means I can actually leave the house and I don't have to compromise on not breastfeeding her. And I know not all babies are like that. So honestly, those two factors alone have really given me the mental peace to just be able to get back into work. At your own pace. Yeah. And I mean, like I said before, I came with that guilt that I'm now trying to just be present in where I'm at. What do you think, Erica, one of the most important decisions somebody makes in their life is? Who they marry. Because you are choosing for that person to support your dreams or not, basically. And you iterate yourself so many times, you need to be with someone who's okay with that and not gonna be grieving or wears my childhood sweetheart. Right, exactly. You know, they want you to, they're gonna be your number one supporter. You're gonna be raising maybe a family with them as well, being aligned or being able to have open communication when you're not aligned. I just think if you wanna have a full life, you can really experience that even more amplified with the right person. And I think they'll support you or not to achieve in life. So I have this, when I look at men versus women, I think women change so much over the course of their life. Their harmony shift, their perspective shifts is so intuitive, they're more emotional beings, right? So they shift so much. Do you believe, and I believe it, so I'm gonna ask you, do you think men really shift and change as much as women do? Because I think the man that you meet and who he is and the value systems that he represents in the habits is the man that he's always gonna be. Yes, to the tweak themselves a little bit, but that is a person you marry. Do you believe that's true? Well, I can obviously only reflect on my experience, it's actually coming up to 10 years since I met my husband. And I would say that's true. I'd say like his value systems, what he wants out of his life, the way he wants to be a provider, that's been pretty constant. And then in terms of how that's manifested in the businesses he's done, or the career he's chosen, like that's shifted. But I think fundamentally at his core, that's been quite steady. So yeah, I would say in my experience, that's true. And so when women are picking partners nowadays, and they're like yourself, they might want to make a career change, but they're maybe looking for love or looking for partnership, what should they look for? Is it doing the inner work with themselves, slowing down, being like, let me get really clear about what my value systems at this stage of my life are before I go back, date, look for somebody, and how that adds to my life? Or what advice would you give them? I look, I haven't been single for a long time, but I do have friends that are single and I've had a lot of conversations with them. And I think no matter what it is, like in this case we're talking about a partner, but it might even be an investor, right? A job opportunity, a new country. Whatever you want to bring into your life, you want to make sure that you're attracting that at a point where you feel aligned. What I mean by that is, and I'm sure everyone has had this experience where you've had friendships in the past where maybe you were not a lesser version of yourself, but a lesser-lined version of yourself. And so when you grow and change, you see those friendships start to break down or they just disappear and you're like, where did they go? So the last thing you want is to be somebody or not, attract opportunities or a partner in an inauthentic version of yourself, because that's very difficult to maintain. You know, I've experienced this with friendships and in work and even previous relationships when I was younger. And I think everything serves a purpose in life, but yeah, I would really echo what you said, which is get to know yourself, create that space, because when you're in that energy, then whoever you meet is really aligned with that authentic version of you. And that's something you don't have to maintain or put on a version of yourself to keep going, because it's come at a time where you're already, frequency is everything. I'm a big believer in manifesting and the power of, raising your vibration and attracting what you're putting out. And I've seen that in my life. If I am going through a period where I feel like, or I have felt like I'm not that worthy, I don't have that much value to give, it's really interesting to see what reflects back. There's like no opportunities. People are not emailing me back. I'm getting random opportunities that are not really aligned versus when I'm feeling really abundant and I believe in myself and I'm really passionate about what I'm doing. It's like, oh yeah, I just emailed that person, they came on the show. It feels effortless. It just is effortless. Do you want to be attracting somebody in an energy where you feel like, you know what, I know who I am and what I want. And it's more that you just value who you are. You can't ask somebody else to see your value if you don't see it. If you don't see it. I was gonna say the reason I asked you about what women should look for when wanting to attract certain partners, because I think people in healthy relationships actually give the best dating advice because they're living proof of what happiness and cohabitation in a peaceful environment look like. Versus you turning to another single friend who's like, oh, the men suck, everything sucks out there. It's like, oh, like men bashing. So I think women in healthy relationships that have careers, have their independence, have found their voice, understand their value systems, are having families, are the best people to look to and towards to be like, how did you build that? And come from that place, because I think getting really clear like you're saying, creating space, having those value systems, manifesting from a full cup versus depleted, all things that make you a better version of you. Yeah, and mind you, it's not like, you know, you do all this work, you meet the love of your life and it's the end. That's where the work starts. Yeah, and even like, I've had, do you know Mo Gouda? Yes. I've had him on the show and he's an amazing person to just consume his content and thoughts on relationships and love. He's got a very interesting perspective on it. But we at length spoke about this and it really is about getting to know yourself first. And this is an ongoing process. Your partner will also constantly be iterating and getting to know themselves. And you may even at times have different priorities, but as long as you can bring it back and support each other and grow together, you know. That's part of it. That's part of it. So it's not to say, you kind of do this work and you get to know yourself to find someone. It's then, it's a skill that even I use today. Like I, me and my husband still go through seasons where, you know, he's having a rough patch, I'm having a rough patch and we need to find that space for ourselves. So I think it's a beautiful thing to do before you find someone, but it's not the end of that work. And I think it's useful for anything. Not just relationships. I think when it comes to tongue and energy and frequency, whether it's the investors you attract into your life, your business partners, clients, opportunities, you will always attract into your life some of the areas that you need to work on more, most. So a partner can come in and reflect parts of you that are left unresolved or unhealed. Gabramate says this, that sometimes when you fall in love, you fall in love with the place of like the biggest weakness you had in your own childhood, right? And you go to what's kind of familiar. And the healed version of you is the one that's like, actually I worked through this, I'm a better version of myself now, and therefore I can sustain this. So I think energy plays such a big role in so many of the decisions that we take because you will attract from that frequency or not. Yeah, and a really simple question you can ask yourself before you make any decision, even like before I sit down for a podcast, I just set an intention or I ask myself, what's my intention? And that's just a really quick way to check in with yourself. It's, you know, it doesn't require hours and hours. It's like, okay, I'm going to have a coffee with this new person or I've invited this friend over, what's my intention? And sometimes you'll, that'll be able to unearth like, oh, I feel like I should just invite this person over. I don't really want to spend time with them, you know? And if you just get in a habit, or you might be applying for a new course that you want to study this year, what's my intention? Do I want to be doing this? Is this going to, do I just think I should be doing it? Cause what else am I going to do? It's always such a really nice question to ask yourself and to practice tuning into that intuition. Cause we forget how to do it in an age of distraction. I was going to ask you this whole gap that we think of the, you know, the content versus reality. How much of yourself do you really want to show up as the full you and all aspects of your life and how much you actually do keep private? Cause I have these conversations with myself because I think to myself, there are certain parts of my life that are meant to stay private and they're not something I want to share. But how do you decipher that? What is part of content versus what is part of your everyday reality and how to fill that void? This is very much unfolding for me. I have gone back and forth so many years about do I really push a personal brand? Do I not? I feel like it would really add value to my podcast, but I am not really that great with like recording things all the time. And I have had a lot of people who live and breathe personal branding. And like the overarching vibe is you show 10% of your life. When you see someone, right? And you follow someone online, they might be known for their hair oil. They might be known for their cafe that they run. You don't know about their mom and their dad, their children, like, and it doesn't matter because they're very clear on what they're showing online and what they're not. Me personally, I'm still kind of workshopping what that looks like. I've decided I don't want to show my daughter online. That feels very private to me. I think that's amazing. Yeah, and you know, everyone's decisions, everyone's decision, I might change my mind in the future. I'm not pouring cement on that comment, but right now that's a decision I've made. I'd like to show podcasting in that side of my life. I think someone said this on my show. They said, are you prepared for other people to comment on what you're showing? And if the answer is no, then you shouldn't be sharing it. If you're okay for other people to comment on it, like for example, I think that would indicate to you what you're confident on or not. So for me, I feel very confident in podcasting. I love the space. I'm very open-minded. I don't really care what people say. I'm just showing kind of what I'm doing. I'm happy to share that. I don't really mind if people comment on it. Versus if people were commenting on my daughter, yeah, I'd have a problem with that. So I think that's also a nice question to ask yourself. But yes, it's very much something of still workshopping actively. I think a lot of creators are constantly workshopping that unless they, and even people fall into a big flow, you see content gets edited or changed or shifted in different chapters of their life. You see certain creators build their entire career with life with a partner. And then say, let's say they go through a divorce and they're like, you know what? Actually, I'm gonna tweak this on how I show up online. So I think even giving yourself permission in different phases and chapters to even change that and take your audience on that journey with you is so important. Yeah, it's no different to what I said before about allowing yourself to be more than your job. Often you think, oh, I've got to find my niche, right? How often have you heard that in the content world? But I personally think your niche is you. You're a one of one. We could have the same pod, like talking about similar things on our podcast, but we would approach it. Yeah, different. Your curiosity and your life experiences mean you bring different things out of guests and vice versa. And so your niche is you. It's never too oversaturated for you to show up and do your thing. And I just think as long as you're being authentic, because that's what you can maintain, it's very hard to play a different version of yourself for a very long period of time, then you can just iterate as you go on. Because no one's expecting you to be the same forever. That's just not realistic. That's not a standard that we can set. If I had to ask you if there were three words to describe yourself, what would they be? Driven, nurturing, and kind. And would Erica, in her 20s, if you use the same words that you're using today in your early 20s, straight out of college? I think I definitely let the voices of others tell me who I was, and I almost searched for that. If somebody didn't like me, yeah. I really took that to heart. I even had an experience six, seven years ago that really, really shook me, where someone didn't like me and basically told me straight up. Your face just came up to you and said. I now understand what projection means and looks like, but I took that on board very personally. And I had a lot to learn at that period of my life in terms of how I was people pleasing. And I was using other people as a mirror to myself rather than looking at myself in the mirror. And I think it's very important to use yourself as a reference point and not others. But that took me a lot of time to unlearn because of the way I grew up, different circumstances I was in, and I use other people as sound boards, even if I wanted to buy new clothes, I'd ask my friends if they liked it, or if we wanted to get takeaway, whatever. I never felt confident taking up space and being like, no, this is actually what I want to do. So maybe I wouldn't have used all those words or it would have taken me a long time to spit them out. I wouldn't, because I didn't know myself as I do today. And being one of four siblings and being the oldest, do you think the more you've changed has inspired your siblings? Actually, one of them's on set with us today, to change the way they're showing up in their lives and making decisions about their career, about how they're approaching personal relationships or dynamics? I like to think so. I have to say my siblings are very independent, driven people. They've not said to my face that I've inspired them, but I would like to think that, as the oldest sister when they've asked me for advice, I will say though, I think I have shaped my dad who in his later years has actually pursued a passion project. And we had a lot of conversation around, vlogging the early parts that were really hard for him and just pursuing a passion project, not worrying about where it's gonna go and just allowing him to be in that creative process. And I think just being a soundboard for him gave him permission to do that in a really unjudged way. So that was really nice. What is he doing now that was his passion project? It's a little bit under wraps. So I can't publicly say, but it's kind of like his personal life journey and experience in a creative piece of work. That's incredible. It's so nice to be able to, our parents pour so much into us and they give so much to us and it's so beautiful to be able to give back to them in a meaningful way, beyond just being like taking care of them, and being like inspiring them to change their careers, evolve themselves as people. It's just beautiful to be able to take our skill sets and where we've learned to be able to deploy that upwards and filter that. That was to mean so rewarding for you. Yeah, it's been a really nice journey to watch him just be authentic, honestly. And I think when people are, you know, I remember someone saying to me, think about when you were a child, what you could spend hours doing that you'd just get lost. You'd be like, oh my God, how's the time gone by? That's how I felt when I started podcasting. I'd just been all weekend editing and I'd be like, how has the whole day passed? I think that's where you find yourself. You find your rhythm, it's effortless for you. You know, and so when you see other people in the energy, it really inspires you to find that for yourself. Yeah. With everything going on with technology and AI, I just went to pivot here because I think about that all the time, right? How do you think it's gonna impact the creator economy? That is, by the way, set to boom over the next like five to 10 years. Mickensley did this incredible report that the creator economy itself is blowing up so much. But then we have this kind of disruption also coming up with AI and what it means of how like now you can use AI to just create content and you can donate, you have to film it yourself and stuff. What do you think is gonna go on with our industries, whether it's podcasting or just being a creator online in social or tech talk or Instagram? It's really interesting because it's virtually the worst it's ever gonna be and it's almost indistinguishable at times. Right? And it's like the AI influences that are literally... And they blow up overnight. It's crazy. And they're these perfect looking beings, saying all the right things, looking the perfect ways. It's very interesting. And I think about this, if I can just segue for a sec, I think about this with my daughter who's gonna grow up with technology in such a different way where it's gonna be virtually impossible. Like who knows in 10, 20 years, like if it looks like that now. And social media wasn't even a thing 10, 20 years ago, like who knows where it's gonna be. I had a client meeting about 12 months ago and this guy's in tech and my podcast came up and we started chatting. And he said, you know, you should just create like an AI version of yourself, feed it all your episodes and just get it to pump out content for you. Because that's not you anymore. He goes, isn't that so great? And I thought, my business side was like, yeah, well, imagine how much more... Time I'll have. Yeah, but then I was like, hang on a minute. Like this is such a, what's my why, right? What's my intention? I wanna connect with people. This is why I do my podcast. Despite how much more productive I could be, how much more money I could make, it's not going to fulfill me. It's not why I'm doing what I'm doing. And then I thought, it's crazy to think that people could create podcasts, maybe not even in their own likeness, create a completely different visual. Yeah, and hide behind it. Yeah, and be motivating other people. And then I think about the ethical question behind that, right? Is that bad? Is it bad to have an AI engineered educational platform? If it's helping people, maybe not so bad. But I think about it from myself and how much I've grown as a person, how much fulfillment I've gained in my life, where when I started, that was not even on the cards. It's like, you're sitting in front of a camera. You're gonna go through the discomfort of watching yourself back, of editing, of getting better every episode, of keep on going past the 10 episodes. You know, we spoke about 10% of podcasts, make it past 10 episodes. How many people are not gonna go through that growth and evolution because there's an easier option? There's a lower hanging fruit. So in terms of our industry, look, I think there'll be a lot of positives that come with AI in terms of, I think there'll still be educational, it'll be accessible. But I do think there will be a lot of people that want human conversation, that want to know what they're watching is real, that are craving meaningful, non-AI type content. And I think there'll be people that are not really bothered and just want content full stop. So I think there will be a mix of both. I'm grateful that we've started our podcast and have built an audience in a time before all of this has sort of started, where we have that credibility of, we're real people, we've been doing this for a long time, we've gotten better as time has gone on. But it will also create a lot of competition. So I don't know the answer. But I will very much stay as a human on my show. That's what I can tell you. You know, it's so important to hear you say that because I think what AI does is, okay, it's great with algorithm and what can go viral and the hot topics and stuff. But human intelligence and intuition cannot be replaced by that. So sitting down with a guest, hearing their story, understanding their why, and in real time, trying to access their energy. And you know, we match each other's energy. We sit down with somebody, we're interviewing them. We can pick up on the parts that they soften or harden or things that they're closed off about. I don't think AI can replace that. No. I don't think that is something it can replace. I think the quality, I think if we just turn to where AI and it just goes towards that rather, it'll be very sterile, it'll be very like dogmatic with how we're interviewing and turning out information. And we can lose that human touch, which is why people turn to podcasts, right? They wanna know that you're a best friend, they wanna know that they know you, you're giving them access into your life, you're taking them on your journey, you know, they're able to participate in this journey with you. So I think that's where the shift happens. And what about you? Do you see it as a threat to our industry? Do you think that human-based content will come out stronger? Like what are your kind of thoughts? I have a feeling that obviously it's gonna be massively disruptive. I think AI is gonna have an advantage on us because of time, energy, resources, it doesn't sleep, it doesn't turn off. And the rate at which AI is transforming is insane. I think there need to be better safeguards put around it. I think it's going around very unregulated and it can be very dangerous. When it platforms, when it comes to children being on it, I think the stronger creators will survive, but if this is where the time is, and I ask myself this all the time, I really need to focus on my personal brand. I need to be able to distill my audience in a stronger way that you're not just gonna follow some AI bot that's telling you some narrative that is untrue. And then I tell myself, will it show the real reality? Because they can't, right? It's a bot. So I think people will want more authentic content, more genuine content, they wanna connect with real people who share the highs and their lows. I'm not really great at doing that. I sometimes come across just one way online and I'm like, this is the year that maybe I take people more on a personal story, but I come from a culture in South Asia and in Baxi, we have such a game faced on all the time, we keep our problems private, we don't share that stuff online. So where is the authenticity that sets me apart from technology and how much of that am I comfortable really showing? Not that I don't show up as my full self online, but where do I show the softer sides of myself that AI will not do. AI does not have a soft side to it like that. Yeah, and I wonder like, because I have the same thought process and I just wonder like, if it's not authentic for you to show your morning routine, where you're just in a robe, like can you find softer sides in your work or like just more ups and downs within your work if game face or that side of you is what, is that 10% that you're showing? I was thinking about that. So you see some of these creators that come online, especially in the US and North America, you see this all the time, and they, I'll use this as an example, they sometimes cry on social media, they're crying about things, they're shaming, and I'm like, that's really beautiful that they can do that. I personally, and people ask on my team, they're like, you know, sometimes in an office, I'm talking to my team, a tier two will come down for something, I'll get inspired and motivated or share something, and they're like, why can't you do that online? I say, because that for me is something I keep private. Yeah, what you have to press record and then let the tease roll. I'm just not built that way. I was like, firstly, I see myself as a founder and a CEO first before I see myself as a creator, number one, number two, I think certain things should remain private. And that's, if I'm feeling a certain way, I'll call a friend, I'll call somebody in my family and have a conversation with them. I don't think I need to film myself crying in order to get that response. So it's that differentiation about what real authenticity is, and is my platform inspiring enough for other women following me to take bold decisions, to really be empowered in the choices they have in their life, to be able to take risks. And this is what Biohacket was all about, which is why I was so interested to interview you as well, because the it part of it is the emotional, the spiritual, the physical, all of those things that make somebody them. And the fact that you, you know, we're living in Australia, packed your bags and said, not only am I gonna have a career change and something completely different from what I've studied and what my background is, I'm gonna leave a core value, family, and try something different. And I'm still gonna be able to, and then have a child and raise them with value systems that I hold true, but still give myself a chance of a new life. That's very inspiring for me, and that's really inspiring for our audience, because it allows women to dream, and allows women at any stage of their life to be like, maybe that could be me. If I just allowed myself to sit with myself, create that space, have that awareness, and go back to, is this what I really want to be doing at this stage? And I think our content will set us apart for the reason that we're real. Yeah, I agree. We're not robots. And we take chances, sometimes they're highs or lows. Running a podcast is not easy. Navigating life sometimes is not easy, but we make room for that in space, and we mess up at times, and that's part of the equation. And you know, at the end of the day, even if there will be an AI bot in the future that can replicate all the human emotion, all the empathy, all the curiosity, all the stories, at the end of the day, you yourself as an individual, what you gain from doing the work, from creating the content, from having the conversations, all of that, is irreplaceable. So even if, from a content consumption perspective, it's going to be indistinguishable, you yourself as an individual, and what you gain from putting yourself out there, from trying new things, and not saying, well, I'm not going to do it because an AI is doing it, you will never be able to see all the doors that will open from a single decision. And so follow whatever it is, because if you have that intuitive feeling, or maybe I shouldn't move overseas, or maybe I shouldn't enroll in that course, maybe I should start that business. Yeah, go and do it, because the best worst case scenario is you just reverse that decision, or you just stop and pivot, and AI is never going to have an experience for you. It can help, and I'm actually quite optimistic about its role, it's actually helped me be so much more productive, and almost be like an assistant, but it will never be me, and I think that's just the bottom line for me. I think one of the other things is, AI doesn't have a why, we do. There's a reason for the way we show up in this world, there's a reason why we do what we do, we always have a why that we go back to. It comes to, sometimes our childhood upbringing, the traumas that we experience, what we've gone through in life, and how we wanna contribute to society. I always say it's contribution to society, right? You're in end service, you're contributing. AI doesn't have the same why, and so we have to remember that human aspect, and we will always approach it with a little bit more sensitivity, a little bit more softness than a robot would, because of that. 100%. So I have actually loved interviewing you, just having you share your story, how you built this incredible life for yourself, and hopefully inspire so many other women listening to be able to do the same. If there's one piece of advice, we've gone through so many incredible things on this show, that you wanna leave our audience with, what would that be? The way you think and feel about yourself will be reflected in the opportunities you get in life, so pay attention to that. All the little things and the big things. Thank you, Erica, so much for coming in to Biahacket and sharing your personal story and inspiring our guests. Thank you so much for having me in conversation, I've really enjoyed it, thank you. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and we're inspired by Erica just the way that I was. And now I wanna hear from you guys. What is the one thing that you have been putting off because of fear, or not being able to make time for it, but it's something that you really are inspired to do, whether it's a small change or a big project that you wanna take, put it in the comments below, because we wanna hear from you. And as always, thank you so much for tuning in week after week. Please like, subscribe, and share our show, so you can get in front of more incredible women like yourself. [♪ upbeat music playing and you