BENNY BLANCO, DAVE BURD & KRISTIN BATALUCCO: Friends Keep Secrets… Or Do They? (Friendship, Weddings, Love)

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Friends on purpose on three. One, two, three. Friends on purpose! I thought you thought that was being loserish. I do. Yeah, right. We just are born to be best friends. Me and Benny met at this Mexican restaurant. He said, what can you bring to the table? And I was like, what? I thought he's so sweet and he's so himself. And he told me a story that lasted 40 minutes. Benny, Dave, Kristen, welcome to On Purpose. Hey, Jay. Hi. Benny, come on. Come on. Hey. Did you know what? This is the first time we've had three people on the show together. Yeah. First ever time. Did you know that? This is the first time someone has come on their own with their fiance, then wife, and now with their best friends. Yeah. So we've never done that before either. I'm breaking all sorts of records. You're breaking all sorts of records. You're competing with Michelle Obama, who's been on the show twice. You've been on three times. This is your third time. Dave, I'm a huge fan. Thank you. Always have been. I told you that the first time I met you. I've known you for maybe under a year, but I love you. Oh, thank you, man. It's been ever since I've met you, I've loved you. Wow, I appreciate it. Notice how he doesn't say it back. I know he loves me. Yeah, I said it already. Yeah, he just said it. He did? I was caught up in his eyes. It's very hard to look. And Kristen, I've become a huge fan of you. I can't believe that. I'm glad. We're here. I'm glad that you still like me. But honestly, the guys, this is awesome. It's so great to have all three of you in the room. I actually want to know how you all three met, because I have no idea. I don't think I've ever asked you that before. Well, I guess I'm the glue between the two of the three. You know, I met Benny. He basically, from the day I put any music out, he actually, the first day I released anything, he tweeted like something positive about me. Wow. Yeah, so he, like it was, you know, one of the first day to have a guy like him reach out. and then I yeah I like said something we like kind of communicated back and forth a little bit and then we almost saw each other one of my concerts we didn't really hang out and then I don't the first time we met no we don't we don't know for sure when the very first we can't place it my memory of like the first uh real memory I have is we met at this uh Mexican restaurant and I think he was maybe trying to sign me or maybe just trying to explain the value that he could add to my life and my career. And I really didn't see any value-added potential. That's what he said. It was like a date? Did you say that to him? Yeah, he said, what can you bring to the table? And I was like, what? That was like his first thing he said to me. Now, in hindsight, I was totally wrong. What can I bring to the table? He brings everything. Best friend, all of your nightlife. How did you win him over? Just proof in the pudding. Yeah, I think it was instant. Also, independent of our respective talents merging and being able to add to each other's talent careers, we would be best friends if we were like in Arkansas and we both were plumbers. You know what I mean? Like we just are born to be best friends. And then I met Kristen years later and then they met because. Wait, wait, wait. I want to know how you guys met. Yeah, don't just gloss over Kristen. I wasn't. You tell the story. I met Kristen years later, Bowling Alley, a writer on my TV show, Vanessa, kind of set us up. And Kristen didn't know that I was going to more or less... Scout me. Scout her. I was being scouted that night. As a romantic. Not for the show. No. For life. No, because of a romantic partner. Wow. I always told Vanessa, because I love this woman, Vanessa, who's one of the main writers on my show, and she's a great person. I always said, keep it, because I was just a hopeless romantic single guy for like a decade. and I would say, don't you have any friends? Don't you know anybody? And then she would say, yeah, I'm looking around. And then Kristen had been in a relationship for pretty much her whole life. And then she kind of got single for like a three-week period. And then Vanessa was bowling with her and she realized, oh my God, Dave. And then she texted me while she was at the alley being like, hey, I don't know what you're doing. It was like 10 p.m. And she was like, I don't know what you're doing, but I'm with someone who might be your wife. And I dropped everything I was doing and immediately went over there late, joined them late. They were already done bowling by the time I got there. So I got to take everyone's turn. And then we just started talking about nachos. Didn't you bowl a strike? I bowled a strike. First thing I did, I bowled a strike. How did you bowl that out? I just am a good athlete. I didn't see it though. Oh, you didn't see it? I didn't see it. So I think I was doing my own thing, chatting up the group. Yeah, she was doing her own thing. Then we started talking about, I remember one of the first things I said to her were like, what are those? And I pointed to a plate of nachos. And she said, those are nachos. And I said, I know I'm just making small talk. I liked that. I thought that was such a good like intro. Yeah. And that was his first intro? Like it was. Yeah. I mean, he sat down next to me and said, what are those? And I liked that he was like, I'm just making small talk. I feel like it was like the intro into his personality. And you were trying. That was. Oh, yeah. Were you trying? Oh, yeah. Instantly. I saw her and I was like, oh, my God, Vanessa, good call. Well, no, you said you didn't like it because I was wearing glasses. I said it wasn't love at first sight. I was going to ask, was it an instant connection for both of you? Because she was wearing these big glasses. I couldn't see her face. I've never seen you in blue. Yeah, she doesn't often wear glasses. I was going through a lot, and I was wearing the same clothes for like two weeks straight, and this was my first venture out. Yeah. Not shades, like... No, they were like... Because it was... I think I drove there. Yeah, because you drove me home. Yeah. Because she never lives in Venice or lived in Venice, and I was living in Venice, and she happened to be staying in an Airbnb for that week in Venice, so it only made sense for her to be like, can I get a ride home? so then I had like an extra 40 minute ride where we just talked no he told me a story that lasted 40 minutes really? what was the story? I thought he's so sweet and he's so himself and I was really happy to I felt like you had such an ease to you that was rare like you were really willing to be like vulnerable but I also was like the story's very long the story was about me pooping my pants and you chose that because it's my funniest best story but it was like him talking the entire ride it's like a 15 minute story And I was like, yeah, I've said it so many times. And then ironically, I believe that you guys probably met for the first time at a bowling alley. Because remember right before, remember for my TV show premiere season one, I had all my friends come in from out of town and we all met at the bowling alley the one time and Kristen was there and I was like, don't make it that, like, don't say anything that I don't want you to say. Remember that? uh maybe i remember two i remember two times specifically i remember once like in the very beginning of their relationship i remember once after your actual premiere and we like all walked up to my house i remember that time and i remember like in in that time being like this girl's really cool i was like like nothing not thinking that was your first impression when he's like meet my girlfriend. No, no, no, no. It was not his girlfriend. It was a girl. I wasn't? No, not Ben. In my mind, I was his girlfriend. In your mind, it was official. And then, now you're fine. And then the turning point really in their relationship, I think, was that night at, like, our birthday party. That was, like, that was, I remember it so clearly. I do. Is that what it was for you, Kristen? You remember it differently. It's a bad memory. It wasn't the best you weren't the you weren't like exhibiting the best behavior no i was lashing out do you want to hear what happened jay i do want to hear what happened thank you we it was we met in like january 31st we had our birthday party like six weeks later we have joint birthday parties every year and look what i'm about to say is pathetic but they really were like the super bowl of like being a single man. I never would even throw myself a birthday party if it weren't for Benny. So now all of a sudden every year I'm having the most upscale birthday parties planned by him completely where all these people and women come and they know it's my party. So there's just this built an icebreaker where people want to come up to me and talk to me. And I just had this feeling that we were gonna start dating and i you know if you know me you know that i have trouble like wrapping my head around uh not necessarily commitment but just like i'm a turnover every stone kind of guy and everything i do and it really stone was here there was nothing else to turn over now as i continue to tell the story i want you to know that i'm ashamed of my behavior this is not something that i'm proud of but i think i just knew that we were going to end up dating and but it was too early to be like I didn't have to commit yet to be quite honest which is a really misogynistic thing to say and I knew that I didn't have to commit and I also knew my days were numbered of having romantic freedom because I felt like I was about to be totally in a committed relationship and I think I don't know I just kind of like overreacted and but for whatever reason I went into the night being like I'm not committed to Kristen tonight we're not I'm not necessarily going home with Kristen tonight I'm going to do my own thing but can I because I didn't do you're making it seem like I went in there being like, we have to be, we're married. No, she didn't do anything. I'd like to hear Kristen. I went in there with like, I think there was like seven of girlfriends of mine and I played it so, like, I don't like to play it cool. It's very hard for me to play it cool. I'm glad that Benny thought I was cool when he first met me, but that's not me. And so I was like, okay, well, this is fun. I like a party. I'm just going to be like free and not expect anything from him. So I didn't all night. And then as the night came to an end, it was kind of like, well, we all know the expectations. that we're going to like hang out if we haven't hung out yet. And he just had such a like, you had such a, I knew exactly what he was doing. Like I could sense what he was doing. And then I think I was like, well, this is lame. And then it got into a little bit of a like, I would say at the end. A flirt battle. I'd like to interject here. I'd like to interject. But she started talking to other guys in front of me. Because he was talking to other girls. I'd like to interject at this moment. There was a flirt battle going on back and forth. and it was like so strange. It was like, yeah, it was like so strange and childish in the moment. It's like a scene out of a movie. Yeah. And we were in such a small area because now it was like the after party. It was like 50 people total. And I remember going to the bathroom. There was like a communal bathroom you go into. And I was like with Dave and we were drunk. and he was just like... What'd he say? He was talking about how this was like one of the best nights of his life and he was like... Is this the first time you're hearing this story? Well, sometimes I forget the details. And then... It was a sad time. Basically... But not really. He was... It wasn't that sad. It wasn't that heavy, isn't it? In the moment... Even that night. She was talking about like leaving and like before we went into the bathroom and she was like visibly upset at this. She was about to leave. She might have even just walked out. Yeah, she did. And I was like, okay. There was like, maybe, I don't remember. You didn't run after it. I don't remember if there was tears or anything. There were tears, but no one saw them. So that's the tidbit that I'm providing. So she walks out and I remember talking to Dave and I was like, Dave, I was like, what are you doing? I was like, she's so cool. She's beautiful. And I was, and yeah, it was like his sentiment was kind of like the, what he was saying, where he's like, what if there's more? Like, I'm so, like, he was like, I'm about to. This is all, the only, there's more. No, no. Everything he just said was the subtext, but really all you said, I remember specifically, you were like, I don't know. You were like, I kind of like Bataluco. Yeah, that's all he had to say. And then, and then, that's Kristen's last name. Yeah, and then at the end, I was like, I was like, I don't know, I was like, I was like, I don't know, Chuck, like, I really, I like Bataluco. And then, and then I called her. And then he called her. She was like one foot in the car. Yeah. It was like out of a movie. And then we never split up for... What was it for you that went, this is it, no more stones to be turned over? Like, I'm not the kind of guy that did what I said I just did at the thing. So I just felt a little bit bad about, I'm just not that guy. And it's like, what am I looking for someone else when I have such a great person who wants to hang out with me? Now, at that point, I don't think either one of us necessarily knew we were going to get married. I don't think you knew we were going to get married six weeks in. Yeah. Remember, I think the first thing I said, like on our second date, I was like, is this a dead end? Well, yeah. So I was I was angling for marriage. So our second date, she said, is this a dead end? It's a second date. If us not getting married is a dead end, it's totally possible that this is a dead end. But if you're saying it's a dead end, if we aren't actually married, I can't answer that question. Because it's a second date. Exactly. But Kristen, from your side, like you're angling for marriage on the second date. You're really clear about what you want. Yeah. Yeah. A, what's making it clear that this is the guy you want to be with? And B, what's making you confident to be so clear about what you want? Because I think so many people who listen to the show, I know they actually feel quite scared on their second date to actually be honest about what they're looking for. Well, I went into it being like I was 30 and I'd come out of a long relationship and I felt like I had this whole narrative in my head, which I think the narrative is true, that it's like, why should women have to kind of play like this game of let them chase you? Or like, I feel like so often, even with my friends, like even with Dave, they'd be like, don't be too aggressive. Like, don't because I very much always just said what I wanted, which was like, I like taking out with you. Let's hang out again. And I felt like I didn't want to waste time, like letting him drive the relationship. So I just thought it's better off that I figure out if we're a bad fit, then like let it go too long. Also, I'm only getting older. And. It is remarkable how infrequent, I went on a lot of dates. I dated a lot of people over a 10 year, not really any seriously, but I went on a lot of dates and it's very rare that I was held accountable. And like, you know, where I feel like oftentimes there are games that are played that, that are totally predisposed to advantage the man. And I was very much down to lean into that because it advantaged me. I was ready to debate. Like I was like waiting for him to be like- You were up for the challenge. Yeah, like here are all the reasons why, like why I'm not ready or whatever. And then I kind of always came into the situation. Like we were always able to talk about it. Like you would be overwhelmed with like your work and you thought that because if you're dating somebody, that means that you can't work and have like a career. So I was always up for the debate. Do you want to chime in, Benny? I just think, I think, no, I was thinking about it because it's like, I think we're actually in a time where like, I think it's sexy when a woman does that. Like when Selena was doing that to me, like she was just like her, like very much. But we would talk about it, Selena and I. I'd be like, you have to go for these. You have to go after them. Yeah. And it made me like, it made me be like, whoa. Like it was like, cool. It's like, cool. I was like, oh my God. Yeah. I want like because, you know, Dave is saying like, you know, you know, sometimes when you're dating someone, they might not want to say something to rock the boat. And like, I love when Selena would turn over. It'd be three in the morning and we were dating for like three weeks. And she'd be like, well, what are we? And I was like, what? And then she was like, well, when I go to New York this weekend, what am I going to tell people we are? And I was like it like she like caught me so off guard. It's cool to have that dynamic where like both person, both people are like on that same level. And I think I do see it like I feel like I do because a lot of my friends are like that where I see women starting to do that a lot more now. And I think it's I think it's cool. Like, I think it shows like such a confidence. Like, you know, some people look at it like some of my friends look at it like, oh, like that's so neat. Or that's so I'm like, that's a person telling you exactly what they want. Like, I don't want to play these games. And it's okay to be needy. Like, I think it's okay to just exist exactly how you are. Selena will say that in the morning, she'll say like, she'll be like, today's a needy day. And when you are with someone who can, because it's so hard when you're trying to play a guessing game. Like when you're trying to talk with your partner who doesn't express themselves, it's so difficult to meet them in the right place. And then they're like harboring all this resentment. But yeah, like Selena will wake up in the morning and she'll say, okay, today's like a needy day. I need you to be like extra nice to me, extra gentle. And then you are set up for success because you know what to do. I should say on behalf of Dave, like I did trust my instincts, which was that I could tell that Dave, like I knew who he was as a person. I knew it was just his anxieties that were kind of like overriding this entire situation. It wasn't like I was like totally shooting in the dark. Totally. When I look back on it, like it is crazy to me that now that I know her and everything, that I wasn't after the first day, week, whatever, being like, oh my God, that's the person I'm going to, like to me, it's so obvious like that she is my soulmate. But it was good that you were that way. And the only reason I wasn't, but truly the only reason I didn't see it was because of my own anxieties wouldn't even allow me to see it. Because as soon as we started spending more time together, I was like, she's the funniest, most beautiful, perfect. I couldn't even believe that I was, it was a debate. And what I said to myself, I said, I feel like I was in a lot of relationships where I didn't always feel like I was the one that like chased or I had like all of the agency and I would after my last relationship before Dave I was like I want to chase the person I marry and I want to be the one that's like choosing because so often you kind of I don't know I felt like so so many of my past relationships were more like you know like you're being pursued yeah or something or like it's just easier to stay whatever than go so with Dave well before Dave I was like I want to like chase my husband like I want to be like, I really know that I want this. Not like this is easy. But I feel like it set them up for such success because when I look at them, there couldn't be more even in a relationship. And like, I feel like that's when a relationship wins. Like no person has the upper hand in their relationship. There's no like that. Like there's like funny, like banter back and forth. And I love that. But it's like they truly like watching both of them. They truly want each other to win. And And then that's when I feel like that's when the relationship works. I've been in relationships where the person is secretly like competitive. Yeah, they're like competitive. Or I've been in relationships where something good happens to me and I'm keeping it from the person because I'm scared. Or like I had a time where like I like won some big award and I went into a closet to answer the call and be excited because I was too scared. And like that's like the worst type of relationship to be in. Like, I want to be in a relationship where like my partner is like, cares more about like, they like feel like they care more about you than their own thing. And you feel that way too. And you guys are just like the ultimate cheerleader for each other. Well, you guys, I mean, what's amazing though, is that you guys are living the dream because you guys are best friends. And then your wife and your best friend are really great friends. And that's so special. And the fact that you guys used to do your birthdays together. The fact that you also got married in the same year. Same month. And she's so close to Selena too. It's perfect. I'm so happy. You know when one of your friends dates someone that you're like, oh. And like, it's crazy. What would you have done? What would you have done? Oh my God, I've been that guy. I've dated someone where my friend, I've dated multiple people where, I mean, one time I broke up with a person I was with and my friends wanted to throw me a party. Like, and I said, I said, well, why didn't anyone tell me when I was in it? And they said, well, what are we supposed to tell you? They said, we made gestures and, yeah. Dave, have you ever made gestures to Benny in that way? No, I wouldn't. He has, slightly, in his own way, not as blunt as someone. I keep it real. I don't care who you are. If anyone's behaving, I just like to speak about the facts at hand. So I always- He's a fact, basically. I'm a helping hand with anyone who wants to analyze the facts at hand. But, you know, love is a particular thing that sometimes transcends fact. So pretty good, right, Jay? That's beautiful. Yeah, that's beautiful. You've like found something there. I was like, wow. That is beautiful. I get what you're saying. It's like when you know someone, you have a friend and they're like really into this person. You're kind of like, well, maybe there's a part that I don't want to mess up because they see something I don't see. It's not your place necessarily to be like, you know, I know you love this person, but just so you know, you shouldn't. Yeah. I don't know. What was it like, though, going from those parties to actually get married a month apart, like to be at each other's wedding? High level partying. High level parties. No, stressful. We were so tired. I feel like we were all really tired. I was really tired. I liked it. I mean, I really enjoyed it. To me, I was like, our wedding was the best night of our lives. And it was so great. And I just remember being so happy that I had his wedding. I was like, and the fun isn't done. And I remember telling, I said to her, I said, we should really try to have as much fun as possible. Because nights don't always have this upside potential of how fun a night can be the way. And we just had the most, very rarely do you go into a night where it has the potential to be the most fun night of your life. And our wedding, of course, had that potential. It felt so good, but it actually was. Like, you know, I would have called a fact a fact if it was in any way shorter than I would have, especially because you're paying all this goddamn money. But it really was... Yeah, it was the best night. It was perfect. It was so perfect. And then I just remember being so excited for his, and his was perfect. And we had the bachelorette in between. Oh go ahead Sorry Kristen No we had like we had Oh yeah bachelor party bachelorette It was like we kept saying that we like kicking off Like it was our wedding and then we had in between our wedding and their wedding we each separately went on like you know I went to like Selena and Dave went to Benny and then we had then we had the wedding so it was like a fun two months Kristen, what was your favorite thing about Benny and Selena's wedding? Probably the vows. It's so, like, watching your close friends get married and, like, hearing that, what? No, no, I was thinking. Remembering how his face moved when he would cry. I mean, I couldn't see anything because I was behind a pole, but I heard the vows. Oh, you didn't get, like, preferred seating or anything? I did get the front row seat, but I didn't know if people were going to sit between me and Benny's family, so I, like, sat all the way to the side. she just had she had an architectural issue blocking her but that was the best part tell us about the vows their vows were so good and i think well and dave officiated which i also obviously enjoyed i just loved hearing it's like it was nice to kind of hear them be serious like you're not it's so rare that you're gonna like hear your friends you know say their love is like what they're doing in your vows you know especially okay so my perspective by the way i couldn't have a better view like they're like i'm like right there and they're right here yeah and so because you're a fisher yeah yeah so have you done one before no wow i've actually never even given a best man speech so like the whole thing and then it's also such a tricky because like i'm almost giving a best man speech but it's also right there at the altar so you can't even do a lot of pressure those things it was a lot of pressure but i really felt born for that moment and it was really look Selena, like when the curtain went away and it was her and she started, she like literally, I'm loathe to say that she looked like a princess, but she just looked like a fairy tale. The sun, it was like the most amazing, the sun like was setting behind her and they had like these beautiful tents. So when she, this is what I did see a little bit of when she was like walking, it was like, it was like majestic. Yeah. And like, you know, she pulls out this, like, I don't even, this handwritten, This book of scriptures that is like her vows that were like written by hand that she'd like lost five days earlier that Benny had. She like wrote her vows for like a year and then she lost them like right before the wedding. I found them. And then Benny found, she's like pulled it. Double point. Yeah. You found it on the day and she told you. No, I found it a few days before. But like her vows are just like, you know, and then Benny, like, you know, obviously Benny has a high level of emotional capacity and sensitivity, but he's definitely a joker. and to see him just break and become just a shell of a man. Wow. Like his face was... Like a little puddle. When Selena, when the curtain got revealed, his face was like... Because I was trying not to... Okay, so when we did the first look, I was like, oh, this is easy. I'm not even crying. but when she came out to the music my face I was like I'm not ready to cry this early so I was like I was like yeah like I can't even do it I was like I recently watched the video back and it's insane it's weird to see someone's face so often and then realize you've never seen their face do a certain thing is a weird feeling to feel that's amazing yeah that's amazing I'm never nervous and I was, before it happened, I all of a sudden got so nervous. And like 10 times I was like, should I have him print mine out bigger? Should I do it small? And like I asked him all these questions. And then- He made me walk out to, like everyone's seated, thinking the thing's about to start. And he made me walk out alone, like down the aisle essentially, and like double check. And he had multiple printouts of the thing already sitting up there. I remember being so nervous. And then for some reason, the second I turned into the room, everything melted away. And it was like, I wasn't nervous at all anymore. And it was, it was so cool to see theirs was like training. Yeah. Theirs was like training and theirs was, I really can't stress this. It was the best wedding I'd ever been to in my life. I think also it's because it's like the people like I care about. I've never, like I cried so much at their wedding during their vows I was bawling and you think about your friends but then like to see them do this thing that's so like final it was so beautiful and they're both so well spoken and funny but also serious and like yeah I don't usually see Dave serious I never see Kristen serious like we're all those people who kind of like make like I'll probably be laughing at like my friend's funeral like because I like can't Like it's like a coping mechanism. And to watch them do that was so fun. And everything was perfect. And their wedding was one of the best weekends of my life. And then I was like, oh my God, I have my own to look forward to. And I had that feeling where I was so scared that mine wasn't gonna live up to what it was in my head. And it was so far beyond what, like the only thing I didn't like is cocktail hour. Because I kept having to say hi to everyone. I said, am I going to be doing this the whole night? I tried to get you to do the thing. You didn't want to do it. No, we did do it. They did it. We did do it. And she didn't like it. We did this. What was the thing? We took, we should have, we basically went, Dave and I like had to go to the bathroom. So we, before Benny and Selena had seen their- Well, first it was our wedding. It was why we even knew about this. Did you do this like where they, they take you into the reception before the guests come? They pluck you from cocktail hour five minutes early, take you to where the band is and where dinner is, and they let you see it all, and the band's playing just for you. And it was our favorite part of our wedding. And then we had to go to the bathroom, so we went into Benny and Selena's before they had seen it, and we were like, oh my God, this is incredible. They have to see it. So we were like, should we pull them away? And pulling them away was like... It was so hard. It was so hard. I thought, you know what? I felt like they were being bombarded. and I was just like, they're only going to, the tenting that they're seeing, it was the most beautiful tent. Oh, and you never go to see it empty. No, they're not empty. But I made them do it. They dragged them. I was just like, I just had this instinct that I knew better and that they didn't know. What was your wedding like? Gosh, I was like. Do I remember this correctly? Was yours like some sort of thing like outside near like a Brit? No, no, no. That was just our photo shoot. That was just our photo shoot afterwards. This year's our 10-year wedding anniversary. I was just going to say, when did you get married? Wow, congrats. Oh, actually, I don't care about your wedding. I want to know this. This is my real question. This is not your podcast. I have a question for you. I have a question. I have many more questions. Go on. I got one question. I'll let you ask one question. I have one question. You got one question. He's got to think of the question first. No, no, no, no. No, no. It's such a good question. I just want to word it the right way. Okay, you're 10 years in. Junie, bye, Jay. I had my wife. You're 10 years in. What have you learned in this time that you thought you knew when there was 10 years before? And what do you want like the next 10 years to be like? Yeah. Two questions. Good question. Good question. Only answer one. It's similar to the way you're even talking about each other. I feel like you think you love your partner the most you could love them on your wedding day. And then you realize you had no idea how much you could love them. Like 10 years on, it's just like, I thought I loved my wife, like the most I could ever love her. And then you actually go through life, you go through challenges, you go through ups and downs. We got married, changed jobs, moved country and moved home all in the same year. And so like we went through so much and I feel like that could either break you or make you closer. And for us, it just brought us closer than the pandemic. We were stuck together every day and it brought us closer. And I think that could have been a, so I feel like when you've been through so much life together, you just have so much proof that you love each other through so many different versions of each other. And I think that's the other thing that I feel like I've been loved with a different person in 10 years because my wife has been so many different versions of herself. She'll probably say I've been pretty much the same, but I feel like she has changed so many times in beautiful ways. And so you're learning to fall in love again. So this idea of, oh, I know your every move and I know everything about you it's like i actually don't yeah and i feel like i'm constantly on my toes and because we end up spending a bit of time away from each other every year because of work i feel like we're still dating which is really fun actually i i love the fact that we don't see each other all the time that's important there's a sense of like i can't wait to get back to you so we see each other too much now all day every day not too much for me jay never too much yeah i yeah i was like i was trying to convince my wife to do a reality show with me because i was like i just want to be with all day long. Like that would be my dream. She's like, we're never doing a reality TV show. I'm like, all right, then. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I don't know who else would because there wouldn't be much drama. We'd have to create some drama. Like you'd have to find ways. I'd have to invite drama. We can give you some ideas. But did you guys ever think like we're here to talk about Friends Keep Secrets, the show, not a podcast, not a live stream. Did you ever believe that you guys would be doing a show together? I think it makes sense. Ever, yes. Because we, I don't think we saw, I didn't necessarily see it coming, but it really kind of was this perfect storm of things happening at the right time. And like Kristen was very, she was always, even as I was making Dave, in my, always on TikTok and always being like, there's something that's so rewarding about real human behavior. And she was always kind of on the forefront of knowing that consumption patterns are really changing. and that was something that I really respect her opinion about a lot of things and that was something that was in my head and separately me and Benny had kind of just flirted with the idea of a podcast for years but I never really saw it as a thing that I wanted to do and what changed? I think one day I was like but what if like we like rigged our house and what if you take the same like creativity that the two of you have and you try to change what this is versus trying to like fit the mold of what everything else is. And I feel like that's when you were, and I think Benny like separately had the same idea because we all got on the phone and he was like, yeah, we can literally, like he was like, I was, so I just think it was the perfect storm for you to be like, oh, this is exciting. Once I started thinking about the potential to reinvent things and make things different, then I got really excited about it. And then only when we started doing it did I really like fall in love with everything because I say this to them all the time. my me even going for it as a comedic presence only happened because i was trying to entertain my friends and be like the funny guy to my friends and that is my when i am the happiest when i'm around my best friends and i'm like seeking the joke and trying to make them laugh and then i went for it i try you know i became a comedian made my show dave and like a show like dave requires so much like hard work i believe it it's a great show and like everything that It seems like it's all so fun and light. And like the amount of brainpower that goes into executing it is so next level that actually making the show Dave can be torturous. Whereas as soon as we started doing this, I've never had more. It's just like I was the inner child and it was like now having fun with my best friends again. And then even seeing the footage of it and understanding how it all was working, to me, I think back to Kristen's original thesis, there's nothing more compelling. I think COVID actually caused this because the shows stopped being made and people were just at home and then TikTok was blowing up and we were just seeing over and over again human beings being themselves and being really entertaining and fun to watch. And so I think at the end of the day, things are only as good as the characters that are there. And we're just being ourselves. And there really is nothing pure than like having a great time with your best friends. And it's all everything that's happening is so real and organic. And like the amount of hard laughs that are happening with all three of us as we're filming it is I've been talking for a long time. I'm realizing. He was making a lot of, it was resonant. I realize how long I've been talking. No, I like the chat. I allow for that space on the show. Yeah, he allows. I still remember the first call when you called me up. I was like, I think me and Dave and Kristen want to start this show. And in my head, I was like, oh, great. You know, we'll put some microphones down. We're going to sit down. It'll be another interview show. You guys will have great guests. And then as this thing's evolved, I was just like, your guys' creative vision, the way you're shifting up the industry, the way this show is going to change the way people think about what a podcast is, what an interview is, it's amazing. And honestly, it's been such a joy, like seeing you guys put in the work, put in the hustle. But also the most important thing is I feel like whenever I've seen you, I got to walk into one of your episodes when I was coming to do a photo shoot, but then I just got to walk into an episode, which is insane. And I'm like, I couldn't believe just how crazy, real, authentic. And, you know, people throw those words around. So I don't even like using those words because nowadays everyone's like, oh, it's so authentic. It's so this. It's not even that. It's just is what it is. Like it is just three friends. We don't even know what's coming. We get in these random conversations and arguments that become so passionate that I feel like anyone watching a group or anyone in their own group of friends is able to relate to, like, it's really just us kind of living and existing. And it's a fly on the wall observation of that. I think what's fascinating about it on a more thoughtful level is one of the things I'm trying to do with the work that we're putting out in the world is trying to make people feel less alone. And I feel like this show makes people feel less alone. She always says there's a loneliness epidemic. Well, because there is. But I felt like I realized, I do think after COVID, like all of our social lives have slowed down or if they haven't, there was like, there was definitely like a period where socializing beyond the anxiety of like COVID kind of create, there was like a learning curve to kind of get back into it and putting yourself out there. And I really resonate with like TikTok and it's not like, I love watching people in like Michigan or like random state, you know, like home videos, essentially of like people hanging out. And I feel like one cool thing about us is, I mean, especially Benny and Dave is cool, but like, I feel like when we met Benny, you were such a good host. You always like have us over and like, we have so much fun and we meet new people. And I think we now have the opportunity to like bring people into that experience, which is what I like on TikTok. I'll tell you something. I was, I was with my friend the other day and we were hanging out and he was, he like just went through a breakup. You know, I don't ever watch myself back. I'm not like a guy that does that. I don't like, once it's there, it's there. I like, I'll ask my manager, I'll say, Hey, did I say something stupid? And he'll be like, yeah, this was stupid. And I'll say, okay, take it out. Like, I'm not like a, I don't want to, I can't do that in any, like, I don't want to look at a magazine. I don't want to do any of that. But my friend wasn't feeling great. And I said, let me put on an episode of our new show. And I put it on. And at first, he's like staring at it. And he's laughing uncontrollably. And he's like, just like following along to everything. And it got to the point where we start having our normal conversation. And it's just playing in the background and it's just like, it just, we were like in it, but then we'd go do our own thing and then we'd come back to it. And we were like, it was so cool to have, it's like a constant friend in the corner. And it was like, whenever there was like a lull in the conversation, we would just start watching the thing again. And it was, and we were laughing and we would like pause it and then talk about like our own stories. We were like, oh my God, that reminds me of, And to me, I feel like we live in a world where there's constantly so much static and noise of like not great things. And I feel like there's a way to put something good into the earth without like pushing, like pushing it down people's throats, like trying to do like some educational. like it's like when we did Earth. Like we made Earth and it had a really good sentiment behind it, but it was talking about like your penis and a baboon's butt. Like it's like, I think there's a way to do something good for the world and not take yourself so seriously. And we talk about real life shit on this podcast. It's not a podcast, but- I was waiting for that day. He's thinking it. You missed your cue. It's not only. Yeah, it's multimedia. He wants to change the name to multimedia. Multimedia. No one liked it but me. Scenes of it like 90s. It's cool. It's classic. Vintage. Vintage. No one wants it though, so it's still Friends Keep Secrets. Oh, you wanted to change the name to multimedia. You like sent a serious text the other day. That's amazing. I never got that text. I just... It hadn't made it to you yet. Got shot down. It's not the right idea. I even think Benny replied. No, but that's what I love about what you guys can do. Like you guys are doing something that not a lot of people can do. You guys can have fun, be ridiculous, talk about crazy stuff and have a moral message to wrap it up with, which is insane or not. And I think that's the beautiful thing that you're making people feel close. But for you, Dave, like you're working with your wife and your best friend in the same space. I feel like you have the hardest job because that sounds... I've been hearing you say that, Jay. Yeah. I just wanted to empathize. I was like, take a moment to acknowledge that you're in the middle. Like, how does working with friends, loved ones is hard anyway. Yeah, Chuck. How are you? Yeah, Chuck. How are you managing it? Look, I really had no fear going into it because I just know both of them so well. And I just feel like I wouldn't become this close with anyone if the person couldn't analyze whatever facts at hand that are and talk about them fairly, logically, whatever. So we get in little spats and arguments all the time. What's the roles usually? Who starts the fight? Who continues it? All three of us are equally annoying to all three. Yeah. It really varies. And all of us do different things. I love, but I love all of them. They're so fun. But I just, I just, sorry. No, go on. I just know that there's really no argument or moment that could ever be the type of thing that we couldn't logically talk about it and arrive at the facts at hand. So ultimately I have no fear. I also have a pretty high tolerance for like understanding him, understanding her, understanding when to leave things be. And I think all of us kind of do. And we're all so close that I don't know. For me, it's literally like I work so hard that nothing makes me happier than getting to work so hard and hang out with my best friend and wife while doing it. And I think we all communicate the same way. Like we can kind of get like revved up and get like not aggressive, but passionate. We're all aggressive. But we don't take it like I feel like we'll do it. And then like two seconds later, we'll be like we'll be fine. And I think that's like it's unique to kind of find people that communicate the same way that you do in these moments. I mean, we can definitely get on each other's nerves, but it's never like like it's never like taken personal. Really? I'm never mad at any. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You are annoyed. You get annoyed. No, but I'm never. It's like what she's saying. It's like it goes away. It's like the second the conversation. No one's ever mad at anyone. We get revved up together. Yeah. Like I don't think I could ever like be like like actually really angry at you guys. Like Pat, I don't think that could ever be a thing. Also, none of us are that type of person. Yeah, I agree. He's only been angry at me one time in his entire life. And the reason was we were coming home from Coachella and he was really tired and he hadn't slept in the type of like situation. He hadn't had a full night's sleep in a few days and he needs a full night's sleep. And he's getting his stuff out of the car and I'm getting myself out of the car. and I kind of like, like kicked his knee or something. Intentionally. Yeah, I can't even remember. I think you like, you like pushed me from behind playfully. Yeah, I was like pushing him like as a joke and he was like, no, no, no. No, he pushed me playfully. Oh yeah, you hit your shin. And my shin hit like the car and hurt so much. My shin. And he goes, get off of me. And he was, and then I laughed at him. It was angry for about 15 seconds. So how do you guys make decisions then? Group conversations? There's a vote? No, it gets revved up. It got revved up the other day. I like to bring the vote in, but she'll never insert her opinion. I don't want the vote. I want us to talk it out, talk it through. I like the vote. He likes the vote. So it's a two out of three like the vote. I definitely think what I've noticed that I do sometimes feel, this isn't like a bad thing, I can tell that I'm like a little bit more sensitive than the two of them. I think it's like a guy girl thing. Maybe not. I don't want to make such an assumption. But I would say that like, I would say that I am the more sensitive one of the three of us. Would you guys not? Well, I'm not sensitive. I not sensitive about that type of stuff Like I that sensitive Like I crying in a movie a song Like yeah I not sensitive and I don think Dave is either Like if someone is just like like I want someone to tell me also in the studio like I don't like the sugar coating. Like just if someone's just like, oh, like that, that didn't work. Let's do this. I'm like, oh, great. Like, let's try it again. No, I like that too. I'm chill. No, you're sensitive. Well, you're sensitive. I'm really chill. She's sensitive in a different way that I get. Yeah. Like me and Dave have been doing this. we've been in the foreground putting ourselves out there for many many years this is Kristen's like first thing this is like everyone's first impression on her is like it's not like she's like back in the day where like it would be like Michael Jackson would perform once and you'd be like man I wonder what he's like as a guy there was like no other media we're seeing like every like nook and cranny like she like she'll like she'll burp or be like sweat yeah and she's so honest and it's so rare that you see it's funny i i like her and selena i see why they're such good friends because it's like there's so many similarities where like i feel like sometimes like you and selena have this thing where you're both like so brutally honest about how you're feeling and it's like it's so comedic too it's like funny it's like i like can't explain it yeah like you just saying like you're sweating like I feel like like most like especially because you guys are like so well put together and like I'm nothing like no no but like Selina will say the same thing she'll be like I'm sweating and I'm having like an anxiety attack right now like and I love that about you guys and I do feel like there's also a lot of yous out there and I think like you're gonna inspire people so much because I wouldn't go that far no but you wear your insecurities on your sleeve in a cool way. And I like it. I love it. I love it. I like that. It's cool. How does it feel for you, Kristen? Like, obviously this is a big deal. It is the first time you're going to be, this is the first interview you're doing, right? I almost didn't come. I was going to say that I had the stomach flu. I was like thinking of all I would have been so upset. I would have taken that so personally. And you would have known. Well, I wouldn't have. Well, you shouldn't have. We wouldn't have had more room. No, but I knew that no, I actually like this interview. I'm doing fine. There is like a spit bubble that keeps coming through my teeth. That's a little bit hard. Can't see anything. Right before we did this, she had a full thing a lip sick across her whole mouth and I told her right before. Yeah, I got it off. Has an argument ever lasted longer than the recording of one of the episodes? No. No. Is anyone's butt asleep? No, you've got to reposition yourself. Do you want to have a little walk around? No, no. You can if you want. No, I don't want to be. I can chat to these two. No, I can't be the first man to ever. Just reposition your butt. Jay said that nobody has ever used the bathroom during an interview ever, except him once. With Kevin Hart, I felt so embarrassed. I was like, Kevin, do you mind if I use the bathroom? And then did you use this one? Yeah, the one back there. You know, I always ask people, like, I always wonder, like. Do they use the bathroom? No, like, when, like, Adele is performing, like, is she ever just like, oh, my gosh, I ate something crazy? Like, does, like, does anyone have to poop ever? Well, don't the best, like, find a routine for moments in their life, right? Like, that's how athletes play. My stuff is always right before. I have to go to the bathroom. Like, I pee when I'm nervous, which is so nice for our podcast because I get up and go to the bathroom, like, I would say, like, four times an episode. You also hydrate well, though. Not really. You have to pee. It's honestly, yeah, I had to as soon as I sat down, but I've already gone. It's just nerves. Like, it's like, to me, it's a nerve-based thing. It's not actually, I don't know. Chuck, do you think your pee is nerve-based? It's not pee, but I'm surprised at how often I'll have to poop, like, 30 minutes before a concert. Oh, yeah. Nerves. Yeah, I can relate to that. I get that. I can relate to that. What is that, nerves? that's all you're in there. I have to like evacuate before. When I used to like- I did it before, five minutes before going on stage. Really? When I was younger, when I like first, like really in New York, like first got on the dating scene, I used to, anytime I was going to have a date with a girl and she was about to come over and we were going to leave, I would like, I'd have to poop like two minutes before. It would happen every time until like I got really comfortable with it. And I would be honest. Like I used to use that as one of my like icebreakers or like my other. You had to poop? No, I would just like be like my other icebreaker, I would say, is I would say, I don't usually do this, these, but what's the worst thing you've ever done in your entire life? And then we both say the worst thing we ever did in our whole life. And I'd be like, okay, now I feel like I know you. And I also have blackmail on you in case like this doesn't go well. How did you come up with that? Did it work? No. Did you break the ice? I didn't do it with Selena. There you go. I feel like you always think like through dating, I was like, oh, like I met my soulmate or like, oh, I met the person I could spend the rest of my life with. But it's so different when you actually meet the person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with. It was such a different feeling. And I like went back and I was like, whoa, those feelings when I was younger, like it was so different because it just clicks. You know what I'm saying? It clicks in a different way. What's Selena's reaction when she sees you cry at the altar, like on the wedding day? Like what's her reaction to that? Trying to compare it to Radhi's reaction of me crying. I think she cried. And then while it was all going on, we were laughing and just like talking to each other. like while everything was happening. I've cried in front of her plenty of times. I cry. I cry. Yeah, I'm a cry. I'm a Pisces. I'm a little fish. Oh, you're a Pisces? Yeah. Dude, that makes sense now. Why, are you a Pisces? No, all my closest male friends are Pisces. Really? What are you? I'm a Virgo. Oh, that's my mom is Virgo. I'm a Virgo, but I don't really identify. I'm on the cusp. I'm pretty cool. I'm pretty cool of Virgo. You do have similar- Yeah, I'm very Virgo. When's your birthday? 6th September. Have you ever had like a person on here that's an expert at all that type of stuff? Astrology, yes. I had an astrology expert, Charlie Nichols, a couple of weeks ago. And did that person make you feel like it's actual kind of scientific fact? Because I'm, you know, whenever anyone brings up sign or anything, I want to be like, what the fuck are we talking? Like that stuff's so inconsequential. But then there are so many times where it seems spot on. Did that expert say that it's real? You should have them on. Yeah, we should. Yeah, that would be really cool. I think you've got a different question. Give us the cliff notes. You know what somebody, well, you go. The cliff notes is I'm kind of like you. So I have an understanding of like Eastern astrology, which is very deeply scientific. The number of astrologers that are available are non-existent now. Like it's hard, but it does exist. And I've heard people tell me crazy things. Like they predicted like how many kids they would have and the first name of their partner and all that kind of stuff. And then you have what we have today where you have horoscopes, which of course the daily horoscope you read is like kind of made up yes and so it's kind of finding that balance her take was there's lots of truth to it it's all based on the planets and how they align there's lots of ways of checking the system and making sure that it's valuable insight but the amount of people that are actually doing that today are very little so it's almost like there's a lot of uh mics not enough real mcs maybe i feel like when i moved to la the amount of people that seem to operate off of that having so much consequence I feel like I'm on an island as the only guy who's like, this isn't real. Yeah. I've just played a weird pattern that all my best male friends are born in March. Yeah. Like it's just a strange I was also born in March, Jay. Wow. We haven't had enough time yet but I'm looking forward to it. But seriously, my best friend growing up was 14th of March. My best friend who's my best man at the wedding 16th of March. I'm 15th. My closest friend in LA is 18th of March. Wow. Like it's just, it's crazy. And I'm 8th of March. Same as my sister who I'm really good friends with. 8th of March? Yeah. Do Pisces and Virgos click? Well, I assume so. So many of them. I know Pisces and Cancers really are. That's Selina's Cancer. Thanks. We got to talk to that person. Well, yeah, maybe you should have them on the show. We should. All right. What I wanted to do is I wanted to play a game that we created for you. So your show is called Friends Keep Secrets. Yeah. We came up with Friends Don't Keep Secrets. Really creative. But we played a couples game with Benny. So we thought we'd play a throuples game with you guys. Fun. I love games. I'm going to give you one of these. I love this. We did this. For Benny and Selena. There we go. This is all about Kristen first. Cool. So the way this work is the players will write down their partner's potential answers to questions before comparing answers. So this is all about Kristen. We're both going to guess. We're all going to guess what hopefully Kristen writes down. Okay. And then we're going to see. And then we're going to do each of you. And you write down your answers. We're writing down what we think Kristen is writing down. Correct. Correct. If Kristen could change one thing about Dave, what would it be? I always had a fear of playing this type of game. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Why? Hold on, hold on. Because then I just would feel bad about, like, do I not know anything about the people that I'm so close with? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I am confident. In your answer? I feel like you know this answer. It's also fun. Like, it's not like a therapy test. I literally say it out loud all the time. Mine's too. So the question is, if Kristen could change one thing about Dave, what would it be? Kristen, please reveal your answer. Read it to me. That he likes wine. What? I don't like wine. No. The one thing I would change would be that you like to drink wine. You don't like wine. Change it. I don't think you understand. Hold on. Shouldn't she be? No, if Kristen could change one thing about Dave, what would it be? She would change that you would like wine. That you would enjoy drinking wine. That I don't like wine. Yeah. Correct. Correct. So what did you write? I thought this was definitely an answer. How I chew and smack my lips when I eat. Oh. Mine was going on dates or being more fun. What? This is amazing. Well, I think that they're all... I was certain she was going to put that. I thought you... I was 100% sure you were going to say that. I mean, I literally say this all the time. I say, I wish you drank wine. I mean, wine is kind of in the same world as that. It was the being fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The reason I don't write this is because... Did you think about that? No, but you're also really good about not getting annoyed when I get annoyed with you about that. But were you thinking about mine a little too? Well, I guess you were. I figured yours would be that. Yeah. I knew what he was going to write. Right. My mom has been complaining about the way that I smack my lips my whole life. Well, you have a little bit of a problem. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. So the next one is, what's something Benny and Kristen always side with each other on that drives Dave crazy? Actually, I'll just keep mine. There's two. There's two that I actually know. Okay. All right. So the question was, what's something Benny and Kristen always side with each other on that drives Dave crazy? Kristen, please reveal your answer. Okay. I have two. The second one that I'm about to say, I know he'll get mad about. So you don't have to say it then. Okay. Well, I like to stir the pot. You can say both of them. Okay, one, working less. Oh, that was wrong. Two, I would say putting music on. No. Oh. No, Benny's on my side. Yeah, I'm on Dave's side. Well, I'm something more. No, you're on my side. Coming off nicer while texting. Oh, yeah. That's what I thought was going to be. I forgot about that. I wrote that I can be too hands-on. Right. No, I love that you're right. We don't care about that. Wait, look, this is nice. This is good feedback. We love your hands-on. Chuck, I thought you were going to, I thought one of you guys was going to say mine. Are we bad at this game? No, it's hard. This is good. It's a hard game. It's meant to be hard. It's a hard game. Yeah, it should be hard. We're learning new things about each other that we did now. The texting is a good guess. Yeah. And the things that you think that people don't like you, actually, they love about you. Yeah. That was nice, Jay. We love you, Mochi. I love you guys. Yeah. All right. When was the last time Kristen admitted that she was wrong? What makes you think I'm ever wrong? there's too much wavering to know because she'll go up and down about the right and wrong depends on what mood I'm in I would say I would say I think I can't remember I'm just gonna have a little do you know something you can give a time frame yeah I'm doing that like last month 10 years ago 12 years ago 12 months ago I mean I don't even know if I'm actually wrong yesterday You could write that down if you want, Griffith. I'm trying to think. I mean, I'm so infrequently wrong. I love it. I love it. It's hard to catch me. I like the thinking going on. This is good. I think she's wrong. When was the last time she goes, Benny, you know what? I'm wrong. I admit it. Well, we filmed, there was a time that we filmed something. I just don't remember when it was. Only if she's caught in the act on the, like. Only if I see the footage. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That is, I know. Yeah. It's just a specific argument. What's the argument? There's a bunch. Yeah, there's a few. Yeah. What was I? Oh, I don't know if I'm wrong. I have to see the footage. We saw the footage. Basically. No, you don't even need to. It doesn't matter. I'm free. I won't get into the details. It's too much nuance. Basically, they got in an argument that Kristen was claiming that Benny kind of. Said something. brought something up to get under her skin. Right. And Benny was like, you're the one who brought this thing up in the first place. And she was like, no, I wasn't. And then we went into the control room and we said, play us back how we even got here. And then we watched the footage as we're filming the thing. And Kristen did actually bring it up. I brought it up. She brought it up. You'll see what we're talking about. Yeah, he was so happy. I brought it up, but, you know. No, but I get it. Tension's her hive. I'm a new girl. I get her side as well. Okay, next one. We did good. All right, all right. We're going to switch to Dave now. So it's all about Dave. Bread and butter. Who does Dave trust most for honest feedback? Not just in the group, in the world. Oh, I know exactly what you're doing. What? Well, I think I know what is going through your brain. Don't let Kristen see. Oh, yeah. But to me, the answer is actually pretty simple. The answer is answers. All right. So the question was, who does Dave trust most for honest feedback? Dave, please reveal. Benny and Kristen is the answer to that question now I know they both probably think Jack and Henry what did you write I said me and Kristen and then I said friends from home but I was thinking of the joiner situation but it wasn't it was just that he was right so yeah both of them like look Benny for music I no song would ever come out without having him hear it and analyze it critique kids say it's worthy point out whatever flaws could exist christen's the exact same thing for like tv and film like any script or thing like i i really trust both of their instincts what did you write i wrote his mom or me or jeff schaefer or benny my mom told me not to be a rapper she said okay so but i think yeah okay you're on the list you just those two no question i love that for sure all right so we got some of it right both of you are not narcissists you didn't write yourselves right. No, I wrote myself. Oh, you did? Oh, yeah. Yes, that is she. Okay, there you go. Yes, that is she. Okay, that's great. I knew the answer. It's not being an artist. I just knew the answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, what's our next? All right, so if you called Dave because you ran someone over, would he help you bury the body? Would he call the cops? Or would he tell you to call the cops? Post-murrential three options? Bury the body? Call the cops. Whose fault is it? It's Dave's fault. Wait, no, you're saying- Oh, I killed, I ran someone over. Yeah, yeah, you ran someone over. Wait, yeah. Yeah. And then you call these guys and I'm saying, would you tell them to, wait, wait, wait. I confused myself. No, no, no. They're right. I confused myself. Except if one of them did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. If you called it, sorry. If yes, my bad. Thank you so much for correcting me. I was wrong. Let this be in my statement. I admit it was wrong. If you ran someone over and you called Dave to tell them what happened, would he help you bury the body? Would he call the cops himself? or would he tell you to disappear? Disappear is a new one. Yeah, I'm adding a third. I'm changing. What if I had the opportunity to change it? Yeah. But is it our fault though or was it an accident? It's an accident. Obviously you didn't do it on purpose. What would Dave tell you to do? This is a test of Dave's character. Yeah. I like framing it that way. Yeah. I feel like I know. I feel like I have the black marker all over because I've been doodling. All right, Dave, what would you do? I can see yours, Dave, but I don't know. Dave would disappear. You tell them to disappear. I never want to see you again. Wow. Wow. I was kidding about the second sentence, but disappear, disappear. Get out of here, go good. I said he would analyze all the facts at hand. That's what I would do. That's a great answer based on our conversation. Kristen, what did you write? I said he would tell us to call the cops. I think at the end of the day. I think he would have to analyze all the facts at hand. Yeah, let's talk about this. This is the first question we've really had. Don't you agree? I definitely wouldn't bury the bot. Like, I think I would talk. I can't get wrapped up in criminal activity like that. But nor would I call the cops, like, behind their back ever. I think I would try to convince that person why the thing to do is just call the cops. I think you'd have to analyze all the facts. Or disappear. Yeah, disappear. You would do the right thing ultimately. Yes, but here's what. I'm not willing to bury a body for you or anyone. I am willing to perhaps hear of something and just pretend that I never heard of it. Yeah, let's change the subject. Yeah, we'll change the subject. He does. You do have a lot of OCD around that subject. All right, all right. Okay, we'll do Benny. We'll do Benny. Couple of questions on Benny. Good stuff for Dave. What's something Benny pretends doesn't bother him but actually does? He doesn't really ever pretend. Yes, he does. Okay. I do? Okay. Let me try to think. I'm going to try two. Can I do two options? You can have two. Kristen could get this right. What is it? Or do I do mine first? Yes. Benny, reveal. Putting things in my fridge incorrectly. I was going to say that. Oh, that's a good answer. I was going to say that. I don't think you pretend that that doesn't matter. I do for anyone else except Kristen. I was going to say it, but I'm like, you're so overtly... That's why you didn't let me put your stuff in the fridge today. No, no, no. I didn't put it in the fridge. When I was offering... I just wanted it to be taken out a little bit. All right. If he puts out something musically that has the potential to go number one and it doesn't go number one, he'll say to everyone else, I'm not bothered by not going number one. But I think it bothers him to not go number one, to go number two. If number one is achieved. Certain songs, they have no chance. Certain albums, they have no chance. So not going number one. You're saying if it's achievable. You're saying if it's achievable. Like, if I'm going to go 60, it doesn't matter. But if I'm going to go number one and like, okay. If you have the expectation that a number one is within reach and you go three or two or ten. I can relate to that. You're annoyed. Okay. I'll tell you. I'm going to tell you my answer after. And then my other thing is, Benny's favorite line as of this year is, I don't care about anything. I've never heard Benny say anything more than, I don't care about anything. And I think oftentimes that he'll say that when we're talking about something that we both care about. And if it seems like I want something that he doesn't want. Yeah. He will say, I don't care about anything, but I know he cares. He just wants to stop talking about it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then I'll answer them all. Yeah. Go on. Christy. Mine is not sticking with the plan, like with a plan or the plan, which is kind of in relation to like, yeah, I think I don't care about anything. If you I think if you if you start to feel the loss of control instead, Benny will just be like, I don't care about anything. Doesn't matter. Yeah. Go on, Benny. Get to defend yourself. This thing I don't feel I don't even understand it, really. But I don't. What do you mean? It's not sticking with the plan. I don't care. What more do you need to understand? I don't understand the context. I don't care about anything is like this to me. When I'm having a conversation with someone, I'll just use Dave as the example. when I'm talking to someone and like usually pretty quickly into a conversation, I can figure out whether this person is going to be like even receptive to like the information that I'm saying or whether I think that they're, they have like something made up in their mind and like there's such a minute chance of me changing it. And then I say in my head, I say, well, is this ever going to change? Is it that important if it doesn't? And then just to nip it in the butt, I'll be like, I don't really care about anything. And then that's my thing. With the number one thing, it used to be very true to me. That used to be so true to me. I was fixated on getting the number one at any cost. Like even if it was number 40, like I was like, I like had to, I used to be, when I was younger I used to really really care So much that I felt like I wasn even enjoying the things in front of me because I was like so like I get the number one like in something I be the best at it Like I'd have like a number one billboard record. And then I'd be not even like celebrating. I'd be like, yeah, that's cool. And then like move on to the next thing. And I wouldn't even think about it. And I feel like, I feel like that was so true to me for so many years of my life. And honestly, until pretty recently, until probably like four years ago. And then it was really solidified, honestly, with Selena because I felt like I won. I won it and I already did. I already know that like I solidified what I wanted to do. And it was like the first time in my life where I didn't care. That doesn't mean that if it is in sight, I'm gonna do everything in my physical power to try to do the best thing I can because that's just the type of person I am. I love the competition. I love striving for the greatness, but it doesn't have the same importance that it did have on me for so long. It used to have me in like a chokehold. And then like, I felt like I was finally freed of that, like in the last like four or five years. And it was like so freeing. But I understand both sides. I completely do. Yeah, I can relate to it, yeah. I understand like I used to be the guy looking every week at the chart, seeing if we were getting close. And I was so, I put so much importance on it. And I don't even know why I did because I didn't even care when I got it. Like, but I think I did care, but I was so fixated on getting the net. You're probably just relieved when you got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I was probably just relieved. And it was like such a rat race. And I'm so happy to be free of it. But I do also understand that side of me when I was so into it. Because I'm like, yeah, that's cool to do that. But it is also cool to be like totally free of it. And I think the healthy medium is probably somewhere in the middle. Somewhere in the middle, yeah. Well, thank you guys. I was thinking of playing. That started off some really intense conversations. We can do a few more or I can take you to our ending three questions. I'd like to do a few more. Okay, let's do it. I'm having fun. You guys should cancel all your plans after this. I'm staying. All right, okay. These are more fun ones. Who is most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse? Now you get to free for all. Write down anyone. It has to be out of the three of us? Yes. Okay. Three, two, one, reveal. What did you say? Oh, why Benny? Everyone tells the same person. Why Benny? I just have more skill, like... I'm the last, no question. That's between those two, and I just think men physically are stronger than women. What? Physically. Right. But why would that have to come into it? It's just me too. You have to battle the zombies. I'm gone. I thought it was like going by like resourcefulness. Well, then I definitely would win. Because I feel like I can strategically. Kristen's pretty athletic too. Yeah. No, I just mean, well, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. My instinct was to say that. All I know is it's not me. I'm the last. Well, everyone rated each other on different scorecards. Okay, what's the next? All right. The next question is, who takes the longest to reply to text? You're pretty responsive with me. He responds to every. Oh, Kristen. No. Kristen's so good. Oh, Kristen's terrible. I don't even... I thought you always made fun of me and I never respond. I actually think Kristen's worse than you. I just don't respond. Because both of them... Does she respond to you? Kristen has never texted me since we met. That says a lot. Kristen will respond to only me and she responds to me relatively timely. Benny will respond to... And she doesn't respond to anyone else ever. No, that's not true. Let me say this. I mean, I do have a little bit of anxiety with texting. Yeah. So I, and I don't like to ever feel like I have to do something. Like, I don't wake up in the morning and read my text. Like, I think that's where I am going wrong. And now I have, like, I think 1,600 unread text messages. It's going to be a lot more DMs and. Well, I don't look at my DMs. I've never looked at DMs. She's not public. No, but now. But I don't even look at my friends. She's still not going to be public. You're still not going to be public. No. We'll see. Wow. I don't think you should. Benny responds to every text, like, no matter what. Yes, agreed, yeah. It's just there's like a 72-hour backup. Yeah. And he does it, you know he's doing it in the morning, and it will, like, sometimes he'll respond to, like, a text that doesn't even make sense anymore, and you'll just get, like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He'll respond to, like, a group chat, like, two days later, and it's so not relevant anymore. But everyone's moved on. Yeah, but he's still, you know. But I'm catching up. Yeah, he's catching up. I text in spurts. Like, if I'm, like, paying attention to my phone, I'll be there. Kristen, like, you know, her parents would be like, hey, do you think you could tell Kristen to respond? I got a text on the way here from my mom that was saying, hey, could you read the family text and please respond? No way. And I thought, I am in the car. She's the worst at text. She really is. Roddy's the same. It's hard. Yeah, Roddy's the same. My phone's a beeper. It's just for emergencies. I'll respond instantly with way too much, with too much. I appreciate that, though, because then I feel like there's texture to the text. And like, we can actually get somewhere. Jay, I'll text you just so you know that I'm capable. I'm waiting for that text. I've been texting with these guys for like a year and a half now. Yeah, well, okay. Okay, next one. Who would accidentally start a cult? Go for it. Reveal. Oh, me? You put me in it. I'm not one of the people. I'm not a cult reader. No, I was trying to think. We wouldn't be, you have more of like the soothing thing. Like your message could like being like tranquil. Like no one wants to join our cult. The reason I said Kristen, I only said Kristen because. I could definitely be like a cult. Kristen, everyone likes Kristen. And Kristen loves everyone she meets and thinks she's going to be the best friend. That is true. So it's like so many people that she runs into, she could end up thinking that they're going to be close. And then all of a sudden there's like, you know, a cult somehow. I don't know. Okay. Did you style your hair to be like us today? Yeah, I was like, it's very styled. My hair's always like this. Yeah, you guys all have like a similar look. It's different. This is the first time we've had three people with curly hair on the show at the same time. You got lots of stats. Did they give you all these? No, I don't know. I'm making them up. I'm making them up. First time we've had three people with curly hair. Yeah, three people with curly hair. You guys do have the same hairstyle. We do. We have like variations of it. Yeah, generally. If you have a hair longer, would it like fro out? Yeah, it's like my hair's like this naturally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, I feel like it's like evolution of hair. It's like me to Dave to Benny. Yeah, yeah. It's like that. Evolution. It is. Evolution. What do you guys say? Evolution. Evolution. But I like evolution. Aluminium. Aluminium, yeah. Yeah. Aluminum is what you guys say. Aluminium. Oh, you call it aluminum? Aluminium. Huh? Aluminium. There's another I in it. There are a few words. There's one word that I can't think of it now and it's unfortunate. The food. The food. What do you call it? Courgette. Courgette. Courgette. Courgette. Courgette. No, there's one word you always say. I can't remember it, but you say it different. No, it's like. Also, people say, they say, so in America, you would say like, his name is Dave. But like, if we were British, we would say he's called Dave. How do you say innovative? I like that. Innovative. That's what I mean. Innovative. That's what you say. Innovative. I had to think about it now because I hear it. In nonchalant, you said funny too. I don't think you said chalant. No, he said nonchalant, normal. Oh, no, you said something different. I said, do you want me to be less chalant? Yeah, chalant. Wow, I like Shallan. Yeah, Shallan. Maybe I should change my... These are the last three because you don't have to write for these anymore. These were questions given by... So before the show, you can keep those whiteboards. They're yours. I'll sign them later. No, no, we won't keep them. We got to... I asked you each for a question you'd like me to ask the other two people in the room. Oh, yeah. So it's hard. So these are the answers, questions you gave. We'll start with Benny. So Benny's question to both of you and the answer has to be in one sentence. I'll maybe let you expand. The question from Benny is, how do you separate work from your relationship? If you're disagreeing in work, does it spill over into personal and vice versa? I would say that we, well, I think you've been a part of it. Dave and I are really, this is like the one thing that's great about our relationship. And now I feel similarly with Benny is that we can like have arguments and we can get upset with each other. And then like instantly kind of, once we feel like we've turned over the stones in the argument or like gotten to a place, it's never carried over. Like we've never been, have we ever been mad more than a day? Even if a day. I don't even think we've ever been mad for a full day. I've never been mad. Oh, you guys. Yeah. Are you asking about us two? Yeah, I was. And then you said something about me. Yeah, sorry. Go on, Dave. Sorry. Take it away. I think he asked the question because we work so beyond even just our multimedia creation. You know, any script she writes, I'm a part of that with her. Any script I write, she's a part of that with me. So it's really, I mean, she's not a part of my musical process, though. That's my, I get separation there because she likes more poppy stuff that I, and just like. No, that's not true. No, she doesn't like poppy. No, she's the opposite. She likes less poppy. One time I gave you a bunch of thoughts. She doesn't, you know. He doesn't like to show me his music. I hate showing her my music. She doesn't listen to lyrics. Yeah. So I could show her a recording of me where the verses are, and she would like that just as much as me, like, doing really clever lyrics. Wow. No, but he also, we tried, he tried to show me his music once, but it was so, I had to, he literally, like, pulled up the chair directly in front of the computer. It was blasting, the speakers were blasting, and I wasn't allowed to move, and I just, it had to be under his. I hate the way he sets up the experience. Yeah. Because you have to sit there. I tell him I'm not sitting there. Don't show me the music. Yeah. So then I feel like it was a bad experience. Wait, this is becoming about what we don't like about David again? That was not the question. I love to answer Benny's original question. How do we separate? I mean, we, I selfishly don't always feel the need to because I, when we're talking about work or whatever we're working on, I find it so inspiring and fun. And like, I'm just like, to me, there's like nothing more fun to talk about now. So I look at it as like, this is great. I get to have fun with my best friend and we're being productive at the same time. Now, you know, sometimes I feel like, you know, I remember when I originally started dating Kristen and I learned that she kind of has the same exact interests and passions professionally as I do. I did have the thought, oh man, would I be better off marrying someone who was an English teacher? And there was complete separation of church and state. But now seeing the opposite, I'm so happy that we get to connect over the thing. I think there's just such a joy to me when I get to talk about the things I care the most about in life, which unfortunately is work. Now, I'm not working like some corporate drudgery job. I'm working on like the self-expression of my soul. So it's different to be like, oh, there's no separate. I'm not like working at an accounting firm. Like I'm talking about, you know, how to tell these stories that I feel born to tell. And she's it's fun. Like we're talking about funny creative shit. But you've helped me become, I would say that like you've given me more confidence professionally. The good thing about us working together is you've given like I feel like over the few years that we've kind of like really co-meshed our professional lives. I kind of come from a place of like more self-doubt and like insecurity. And he's really helped me get like the kind of confidence to even be doing this and writing and stuff. I feel like it's been really, I'm so thankful that you're like a good mentor and a husband. Great answers, guys. Beautiful. Really nice. That felt good. But we should go on more dates without talking about the tasks at hand. That's the newest thing that I had to say. I think sometimes I'll be like, especially with the anxiety that I've had, which I'm on a new path forward and I'm a new person and I no longer create the self-inflicted torture of like anxiety about the podcast in particular. But there was a period where I was like, we have to stop talking about work all the time because I can't like mentally break away from it. And it was I just I wasn't. But now I'm now you can sign me up. What was the time where I was like, I don't want to talk about this right now? you kept talking or you were home doesn't matter because I was about to like do something with music where I just had to be in like the state of mind that and I was in such a good mood I had no anxiety about anything with like the podcast or whatever you want to call it and she I said I don't want to talk about it right now and she just wanted to talk about it well this is an interesting I did start going to therapy because I was like it's important that he can't always be the like I have such a tendency when I have anxiety to like for me to get over my anxiety, I have to say every thought that I have, which it used to be OK. I mean, I'm sure it's exhausting for him, but it used to not be so related to what he was doing. So therapy has been helpful because instead of like taking him on, which he's still very supportive, but like I don't have to like I felt like I was like bringing him down. So the therapy now is a lot easier for me to like just mentally spiral and then i'm not putting it on you so we've learned a little we've we've kind of like started to create some boundaries and i learned no now not to get her worked up when she's in bed and i know not to like if i sometimes i'm i come in and i come up with the idea of like we should do this that and then she and she's very easily yeah she needs to sleep yeah well no i just would get like revved up and excited yeah me and my wife are like so like i'm the one who comes to bed and wants to chat and talk and like and she does not want to yeah and she's like first thing the morning wants to chat and talk and i'm like yeah i need to like gear up slowly so i get that yeah that's beautiful thank you need to thaw i have to thaw out in the morning though so this was kristin's question for benny and dave do you guys talk about me when i leave the room you have to answer honestly not not really no cool not really this was a hard thing to hard question. I couldn't really think of it. It's a good question. The only time I remember that is at New Year's when I was like, what are you guys talking about? And then Dave said, I'm not at liberty to tell you. And then he said, and he was just, and then I was like, all right. And then we just started talking about something else. And then when you came over, you were like, are you talking about me? And we weren't talking about you. It's a question I ask a lot, this paranoia that as soon as I leave the room, but I know that it's mostly more of a joke. I know you guys aren't. No, we never really talk trash about it. No. We're positive. Oh, do you guys say positive things behind my back? She's pretty inconsistencial to both of us. Do you say positive things behind my back? Like, wow. He said no. He just said no. No. Yeah, I've said like, We do. I've said like I was so blown away by how well Kristen's done. Like, I remember we talked about that before. So you guys see me in the room? We talk about you the way guys are. I don't know. Guys talk about their wives or is that like, we're not like talking about you professionally that often. Yeah. There's never, and there's never. Do you guys not have this fear? Dave's never come. No, I don't think. I live in, I always am like, think about that. Are they all talking about me? You guys are talking about me? No. And if they, and if you guys are talking about me, I'm like, oh, that either there's a reason or like they're upset with something or I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. I think I care. I care too much what people think. So I'm always like, even though it's like kind of half joking, I will, I thought everybody felt this way be like a lot of people do feel this way yeah like be like as soon as I leave I'll be like I wonder even if it's not bad I just wonder if they're being like yeah she was talked a lot that time or she said that really a bad question she has so much self doubt and like circular thoughts of negativity that our brains are like on hum positive I think so much of that is women's conditioning in society treatment of women in society like that's my take on it I was gonna say that I was gonna say that And ADD. No, I mean, seriously. I mean, deadly seriously. When I talk to all my male friends, they all feel the same way. Then when I talk to my female friends, they all feel that way. So I'm like, wait, you can't then just ignore it. And I think it's been a little bit more, it's been more exaggerated just because of the uncertainty about all of this being public. I feel like I live. Your hair's in your mouth. I'm sorry. I can't see it from here at all. I didn't see it either. I appreciate it. I told you to do it. I tell him to do this thing. Thank you. Yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah, it's been exacerbated because you're dealing... Me and Benny are also, even though yes, we're men, we're like... You've been public for so long. No one believes in themselves more than me and Benny. Oh, I know that. It's like that compared to self-doubt, it makes it feel even more of a... But I'm doing a lot better because I realized that so much of my self-doubt as like my default narrator, like in my head. And I feel like this podcast will help me. I don't know. I could just crumble. You guys may never see me again. Not in a bad way. You're so aware. I think, you know, I think part of it is just as hard as you are in yourself. You don't give yourself enough credit as well. But like, you're so aware of what's going on in your mind. I think if you're not aware, that's when it's really, really hard. I agree. She's very, you're right. I like to hear that. Yeah. You're very self-aware. I'm doing okay. Yeah. All right. Final question. This was Dave's question. I saved what I believed to be the best for last. Thank you, Jay. This is Dave's question. So Dave's question to Kristen and Benny is, if I died, how often would you guys hang out or see each other? Wow. I feel like if you die, that'd be so heartbreaking and we'd be sharing, we'd be like experiencing similar pain. Well, me more, but I can't speak on half of me. Benny, maybe he would be, I don't know. frequently i don't know like as much as we could but check first i obviously i would edit all the things to i know how you would like them and i'd find a way you get the right features yeah i'd find first i was talking about the show then for then i'd edit i'd yeah i'd make sure to get the right features that we've spoken enough about i'd be able to at least there's like 15 songs i could cobble together something great. And I would do that. And I would make sure not cobble together 15 songs I could cobble together. No, no, no, no. To make something like truly like. But would you do it hanging out with me? Isn't that the question? No, no, no. This was a side. Would she be involved? Clearly. Would you involve her in the album? No, clearly he's not. In that? No, no, no, no. But I would involve her in. Like the rollout. No, no. I'd involve her. Would I still be invited to like the dinner parties? Yeah, I think I would hang out with you. I think you would, well, I'd like you to fill like my Dave role. Like, I feel like I'd be calling you like every day. It would be so, you can't, we have to protect you at all costs. Or would you guys be so reminded of me when you saw each other that you'd actually have to never see each other ever again? No, no, no. We'd see each other all the time. If I died, would you guys just replace me? No, what? In the show. no it would just be a two-person show what no it'd be done yeah or would we keep no i wouldn't be i wouldn't be that interested anymore i'm glad you got all the footage though yeah no one's dying i hate talking about this even though i know we've got footage again everyone needs facts and guys i am so i mean just spending time with you makes me just love the show even more but i want to say to all of you like truly you guys trusting me giving me this opportunity to do this with you has been a highlight of my professional career, like to work with all three of you, because it's very rare that when you're like, you know, when I started my podcast seven years ago, I never thought I'd be helping create something amazing with the vision of all three of you. And I feel so lucky and fortunate. So thank you for the gift. Thank you for the blessing. And thank you for all your help. We feel just the same way. We love you, Jay. You're our mentor. You're our guru. I'm definitely, no, don't stop making me this cult leader. No, no, I wasn't. No, you're like the, you're so good to bounce all this stuff. I feel like you've already laid, you know, laid the ground. We're just trying that. I don't think it's that. You guys had a vision. You know what you're building. I think it's been fun getting the opportunity to be a part of it. That's how I feel about it. So thank you for letting me be a part of your crazy creative vision. Thank you for hearing our desires and not scoffing at them and doing your best to make it all happen. Yeah, absolutely. Friends keep secrets. Excited. On three? What happens now? Friends on three? Friends on three. On three? Yeah, friends on purpose. Friends on purpose on three. One, two, three. Friends on purpose. If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion. There's blessing in the breaking. and every moment that you encounter in your life, even if it's just road rage. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.