250: Some Serious Characters.. Ft. Trevor Wallace
105 min
•Jan 8, 20263 months agoSummary
Two Hot Takes hosts analyze Reddit relationship drama with guest Trevor Wallace, covering boundary violations, controlling behavior, and communication failures in modern relationships. The episode examines multiple scenarios including fantasy football deception, breast reduction disagreements, Sims save file deletion, and inappropriate parenting behavior.
Insights
- Lying to partners about social activities damages trust more than the activity itself; honesty about boundaries is essential
- Controlling behavior escalates when partners don't communicate directly; confrontation often backfires without proper framing
- Age gaps combined with controlling dynamics signal potential grooming patterns; early relationship red flags predict future abuse
- Jealousy and insecurity often mask deeper issues; self-awareness about motivations is crucial before confronting partners
- Respecting boundaries in shared spaces requires explicit communication, not assumptions about what's acceptable
Trends
Rise of relationship validation-seeking through social media and Reddit; people crowdsourcing relationship advice onlineControlling behavior manifesting through digital access (passwords, account monitoring, file deletion) in younger relationshipsCommunication avoidance leading to elaborate deception schemes that ultimately cause more damage than direct conversationAge-gap relationships with significant maturity differences showing patterns of control and manipulationJealousy-driven confrontations in relationships where one partner feels inadequate compared to the otherBoundary violations in shared living spaces (work-from-home dynamics) creating uncomfortable power dynamicsParenting choices (extended breastfeeding) becoming flashpoints for judgment and family conflictFantasy sports and gaming becoming relationship conflict points, particularly around inclusion and honestySunk cost fallacy keeping people in relationships despite red flags (3+ years invested)Digital harassment and monitoring becoming normalized in younger relationships (password memorization, account access)
Topics
Relationship Boundaries and CommunicationControlling Behavior and ManipulationTrust and Deception in PartnershipsAge-Gap Relationships and Power DynamicsGrooming Patterns and Red FlagsJealousy and Insecurity ManagementWork-Life Balance and Leisure TimeParenting Choices and Social JudgmentDigital Privacy and Account AccessFantasy Sports and Social InclusionConfrontation Strategies in RelationshipsEmotional Abuse and GaslightingSunk Cost Fallacy in RelationshipsSelf-Awareness and Personal GrowthWorkplace Dynamics (Nanny Employment)
Companies
Credit Karma
Sponsor providing financial monitoring and credit score tracking tools for personal finance management
Skims
Sponsor offering undergarment and shapewear products with focus on comfort and confidence
IKEA
Mentioned as destination for casual dates and meatball dining; discussed as relationship activity
Costco
Referenced in discussion about couple dynamics and shopping experiences; mentioned in viral video context
Bucky's
Discussed for merchandise and bathroom culture; referenced for humorous relationship-themed merchandise
People
Trevor Wallace
Guest comedian and podcaster; discussed his comedy career, touring, YouTube sketches, and stand-up work
Tom Brady
Discussed as NFL broadcaster and commentator; praised for his performance in first year of broadcasting
Quotes
"If I don't want to be in his stories, I should work on myself so there is nothing embarrassing to talk about."
Boyfriend (from Reddit post)
"I didn't realize this was hurting you. I guess I was doing it for a joke, but I see how it's not perceived as that way."
Hosts discussing ideal response
"Don't put your friends over the person you love, learn to stand up to your friends."
Fantasy football OP (from Reddit update)
"We are through. Go fuck yourself. I mean that."
Alia (Sims girlfriend, from Reddit response)
"You have no right to judge me. She was hungry."
Stepmom (from breastfeeding post)
Full Transcript
I feel like my sweater fits the vibe of the background and everything. Your sweater's perfect. Yes. It is a horse sweater. So I was a big horse girl. I love it. Boom. I love it. Not your first rodeo. Not my first rodeo. Literally, we've done this three years ago. Mm-hmm. Three and a half. Three and a half. And your show is so much bigger and there's less people now. When I was there, there was like five people today. No one. Just you. You cut everyone out. I had more people. Yeah. Who the hell did I have there? My dad, probably. Because there's that house. It was there. I think there was two or three other girls and who shot an iPhone. But now it was shot on an iPhone. Yup. Yup. Look how far we've come. Look at that. Congratulations. Thanks for having me back. Thank you. I love the show and congratulations on all your success and what a beautiful set. And if you're listening on audio, picture the warmest environment for the holidays. That's what it is. God. Trevor Wallace, just like my little hype man today. Of course. You deserve it. Thank you. I've been watching this for a couple of years. I mean, big things. You're, I don't know, agent manager person sent me a list. I was like, holy smokes. He has been busy. I have been busy. I saw like MTV. I saw so much shit in your list. I was like, wow. You know, but at the core, it's just I'm touring a bunch with stand up and then just maintaining YouTube sketches and the stuff that I really love. But done a few other cameos from cool stuff, some TV, some film stuff. But that's cool. And during the day, it's, you know, my favorite stuff is just doing stuff for YouTube and, you know, stand up and podcasting is like to bread in the butter. That's what it was most fun, the most liberty, the most freedom. It's so fun. Yeah. I love it. I need to go to one of your stand up shows. Please do. I really want to start taking like improv classes. Improv classes are great. I feel like your brain works so fast. Like I say something and you're just so quick with it and it's got to be that like stand up like smart comedy improv brain. We'll see how smart my comedy is. But yeah, I like improv classes because it lets you just trust whatever your body's about to say and just know that like it might not be funny, but it might be funny. But just like whatever your gut says, just like say it. Trust what your body's about to say. So you do even think about it or just come out. It comes out and then I edit mentally after. That's so day. I'll say something and then the crowd is a laugh so they don't and they'll go, okay, it's time to rework it. But it is fun. It's just, it's like, I remember growing up in high school, it all grew to this rock jump and it was like this like 15 foot like rock jump into a lake and the longer it's hit them, think about the scarier it got. Yeah. I get that deal like improv. It's like if you're up there and you jump, you don't have time to overthink it. So the long you sit on it, I'm like, what do I say? What do I say? What do I say? The more you're going to put weight on it, but you can just like do it. No, that makes that makes a lot of sense. Wow. So if you're on a rocker and now listening, I used to do that too. You're safe. Yeah, yeah. It's like 15 feet and under, okay? Yeah, it was probably six feet. If we're being honest, don't take our advice. Please don't. No, no, no. Not mine especially. Remember any stories that like stuck out to you from your last experience on two hot takes? I just remember the elevator straight to the room, which was like, I've heard about this in like home alone movies. I'm like, this is a new level of luxury. My dad's condo you guys. It's an interesting building. Yeah, you get in the elevator and it just opens right up into the house. And I used to live like two blocks from there. So that was the best, I think, appearance, like the most convenient appearance and like one of my favorites because I was like, I put it in my phone and it's like, do you want to walk or drive? I'm like, what a what a blessing. Do you remember the Grinch story? It was a woman that yes, yes, she had like a Grinch fetish. Yeah. She's still with us. I would assume. Did you write an update? Dang it. But I tried to like go into this episode with like such. I like the bar was set so high. Yeah. Like how do you beat a lady that wants to get by the Grinch? So I've got some crazy stories. Good, good, good. Grinch one. Grinch one. No. No. This is like one of the first episodes of 2026. Okay. Hope you guys new years is going well and you guys have a great resolution. Exactly. So I don't know. Just a random assortment of chaos. But that one just like really, I still think about it. I'm like, God, you guys, you and Michael just lost your minds. It was, I remember reading the comments and they were like, they were fun guests. A little too broy. But Michael and I together, it's a lot. Just myself. It's a little more reserved. I do. Like yourself. Shy. Yes. Don't worry about the comments. Yeah, let's pull the Grinch stuff again. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I have one. I haven't fully read it. It's really, I don't just based on the title. We'll see if I do it. Oh, Lord. Yeah. It's what's the title first? We can work backwards. Oh, it's that bad. I caught my boyfriend's stepmom breastfeeding her eight year old. So I think I've seen this video before. I'm not sure if we're going to do that one. Yeah. But little teaser before, you know, yeah, that'll be at the end of the episode. So keep listening for that story. That's how you hook them right there. Oh, it's, it's honestly, I genuinely, it's, there was a lot of layers to that. I know. So that's like a SAT question. It's like, caught my ex's mom's stepmom breastfeeding eight year. I know. That's a lot of characters. All of these today, a lot of characters. I love it. I absolutely love it. Okay. Well, without further ado, let me lock in. Let's dive in. Let's do it. This episode of Two Attakes is presented by Credit Karma. When it comes to your money, Credit Karma keeps you ahead of the game. You can count on Credit Karma to keep up with your financial needs as they evolve. They'll help you monitor your progress and give personalized recommendations so you can make strides towards your goals and find your way to money. Make sure you're on the right track no matter where you are on your financial journey. Into it, Credit Karma. Karma, you can count on. I love tracking my score on Credit Karma. I actually found out that's how I missed a payment. Thanks Credit Karma. Okay. Up first, coming from our very own Two Attakes subreddit, seven hours old, titled, My boyfriend turns my private life into content and then calls me sensitive. Okay. Maybe I wrote this. Maybe this was me because anything that happens with anybody have ever dated, there can be no bad in the relationship because I'm like, this is content. Is your girlfriend 28? 27. I, 28 female and my boyfriend 30 male. We've been together for a little over three years and live in a mid-sized city. He is the social one with a big friend group, group chats, fantasy league, all of that. I am more private. When we started dating, he would tell funny stories about work or his family and everyone loved it. Mm. Lately, I realized more and more of those funny stories are actually about me. It started small like him telling his friends I cry at animal shelter commercials, which I could laugh off. Mm-hmm. He told his group chat about a panic attack I had when my card declined at the grocery store last year and how he had to rescue me. He copied a part of my text about feeling like a failure and sent it in that chat as a joke. Last weekend, his best friend got a new girlfriend and we all went out for dinner and met her for the first time and she said, quote, oh, you are the one who hates phone calls and freaks out when unknown numbers call. Nice to finally meet you. That is something I told my boyfriend once in a pretty vulnerable conversation about anxiety. I confronted him in the car and he said I was overreacting that he is just sharing real life and that everyone shares about their partners. He said, if I don't want to be in his stories, I should work on myself so there is nothing embarrassing to talk about. I feel so exposed and honestly kind of betrayed, but he acts like this is normal and I am trying to control him. Is this a weird boundaries issue that I need to work through or a deal breaker level disrespect? My first thought is it was okay up until he said this is something you need to work on and you need to better yourself. Yeah, better yourself so there is nothing embarrassing to talk about. He's been saying, well, don't be such an embarrassing or a clutz full person so you're not giving me material. Instead of, let's be honest, he's 30. He's pushing 40. He's close to probably dying at this age. I think that the responsible loving boyfriend would say something like, I'm so sorry I didn't realize that this was hurting you. I guess I was doing it for a joke, but I see how it's not perceived as that way. And he's like, well, maybe he don't be such an idiot. Samantha, maybe if you were such a, whoa, oh my god, this is incredible. Thank you so much. Are you an East Coast person? No. Really? You're from out here, right? Minnesota. Oh, it's Minnesota, not East Midwest. Minnesota Midwest. Yeah. East Coast? No. Is big in Minnesota? No, but it was the fastest on that was incredibly fast. Not sponsored. You can though. It could be. It could be. Hopefully he drinks some, and wakes up and realizes he's being not a good boyfriend. Okay. Somebody tagged me in the comments. Okay. Free promo. No, I completely agree. I mean, it's, you said something. He's like 30, pushing 40, might as well be dead. He should be dead to you. Yeah. Like, that's a very childish response. If you were like 22, not saying it's okay, but that would feel more than normed to be like, well, maybe stop being such an idiot. But at 30, you should have enough comprehension of me like, I didn't realize this was hurting you in this regard. Everyone slips up. Everyone overshares everyone events about their partner to their friends. But when it's constantly sharing vulnerable information, like, and then you found out you're upset. You told him you're upset. And instead, he's flipping it around on you and kind of gas letting you. This is a you problem. This is not me. That's true. I just feel like this sets it up for almost like, like some animosity and like a rivalry almost where it's like, he wants her or he's setting it up to be like, well, you know, I do dumb stuff. You can talk about that. Like, it's not, they're not solving the issue. He's only saying like, well, why don't you do that? It feels like I don't. I think we've all been around this type of couple though. And a certain level of it is funny. But then it just gets like, are we in couple's therapy right now? Oh, my God. And then you're like, can these appetizers come any quicker? This is awkward. It's like you just sit there in your whole time. You're like, how are they still together? Please, I got it. Please, great. And some of them are lightly like the lighter stuff is funny. But there is moments where you're just like, they almost get into an argument in front of you because she's like, no, that's not how it started. He's like, well, no, that's how it ended and this. And then you're just sitting there and you're like, happy holidays. Yeah. Like, I want to leave now. Yeah. So. What's your what's your overall opinion on it? I think break up. Yeah. Break up. How long have they been together? Did they say a little over three years? Hmm. That's interesting. Mm-hmm. Because three years feels like this is your person. It feels like you can't leave. You can. You, oh, you can. You can be in there for 20 years. You can hit the U-turn and quit. Yeah, totally. Honestly, it might be a little more fun. I had, now I'm doing exactly what this guy's talking about. I had not so much, but I had a family friend, like one of my best friends growing up. His parents got a divorce after like 45 years together. Woo. And honestly, good for them. Yeah, live those last years of your life. Like they're both like 65-ish, like 70. It's like, yeah, why not? You know, you know, you were. What are sandals? Yeah. Go to naked resort. Go to naked. Go to the villages in Florida and figure it out. Yeah. But I just was like, yeah, at any point you can be like, you feel like it's your forever. It doesn't have to be. No, and like it's really interesting because I always ask people that have been married a really long time. I always ask them like, what's the secret? And the response I get is really telling. Like, I've gotten a really cute one where it was like a selective hearing where it's like good. You know, when they're being a little cranky, you just kind of tune it out and like selective hearing, I've gotten one that was selective vision. Oh. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because I had to share the example. Sink. Oh, I don't even know. But some of them are like, ooh, I don't know if you really even like your partner. It's like at that point, just break up like this guy. I don't even think he likes her. He's using her as like the butt of the joke. That's not fun. I like to know where they're from because this like mid-sized city. It's giving Chicago. Okay. Chicago is a good one for that. Yeah, it's not your thing like. I don't know. It's not great. It's also not great that none of the friends are telling him like, hey, this is funny, but I don't know if you need to be sharing all this, especially the hates. He's almost talking to them like he's on a date with like he's using like date conversations. Like, oh, yeah, my ex used to hate phone calls. She only likes FaceTime or something like that. Yeah. Like you wouldn't just bring it up to a friend group. That's what I'm saying. It's like you're just constantly. And that's something you like better. I think there's like a funny, right. That's too nitpicky for me. Yeah. If there's like a funny thing where I was out in Miami, I got shit on by a bird. Everybody's talking about it later. It's funny. Oh. And that's just like that's just like that's just like a that's life. Yeah. No, but that's like that's no fault of your own. Right. Like the bird you can't control the bird's shit on you. They can limit the bread in the Miami area, I guess. But but to that point, it's like that's a funny experience that we like both went through. Yeah. It's not like it's not like it's a funny. Yeah. It's not your card declined at the grocery store when you're trying to buy food. Yeah. That seems more like he needs a therapist or is just venting to someone who will listen. I don't know. He's I don't like him. Yeah. I can picture this guy doesn't like him either. Good. They quote need to work on yourself. So there is nothing embarrassing to talk about. Wow. You can do all the work on yourself you want. But that still won't keep embarrassing moments from happening to you. This is a serious boundaries issue. And if he's not going to take you seriously when you ask him not to discuss them, that's an even bigger issue. Just because you two are partners does not mean he has automatic consent to share personal and vulnerable information about you with whoever he chooses like his buddy's new girlfriend who you've never met. Also brand new girlfriend. Then she doesn't need to know that she doesn't even know his name. Like what the meat face to face. Your first impression now has already been set. What's also bad for some person on the guy too. It's like, oh, you trauma it up. Not even trauma, but like, oh, you meet people and tell other secrets for no reason. Like I can't show this guy with anything. No. This guy needs to sign multiple NDAs. Yeah. This person goes on to say he needs to get a hobby that he can discuss because blasting your partner's embarrassing business is not a hobby and it's not what partners do. Correct. Yeah, he must not have enough personality on his own to talk about anything else that he's. There's probably some good saying about this somewhere on Etsy or something, but it's like those who talk behind your, they only talk behind your back. So if nothing else better to talk about, I think I've heard that somewhere. Yeah. Maybe it was on a Bucky's T shirt or something. Oh, it probably was. I love Bucky's. I love Bucky's. Bucky is funny, but Bucky's also does fuel like someone's misogyny like their shirts or like they sell these. You think? Have you seen like the art of Bucky's? I just have a joke about it, but it's like Bucky's is almost wholesome like the art decor. Sometimes it is. Yeah. Well, the women's bathroom art might be different. Beautiful. Really majestic in there, which also like how disrespectful of your painter. You're like agents like it got you good placement where they're like, I'm the way to the shitter. But the Bucky's bathroom is iconic and so clean, but you know, they have like next to the candles, I'll have like a wooden plaque or something. That's like a little fun saying like they're almost cute. And then it just gets real like Southern. It'll be like, I love my wife. Da, da, da. When she shuts the fuck up at night. Fuck. And it's in like a cursive font. And they're like, who's buying this thing? You look over and there's a trucker with a slim gym behind his ear. Like, that's good. That's good. Oh, man, you're so right. You know what video broke my heart recently? What's that? This creator went to Costco and he like stopped guys. Did you guys go guys? I don't know. Five big booms. No, I don't think so. Okay. And he was like stopping people that were shopping with their wives and the wife would like go and grab something off the shelf and he would like sneak in and ask the guy, how much fun are you having at Costco with your wife? And all the guys were like zero negative 10. Well, let's get a sample. Negative five. I hate Costco. I hate my wife. I'm like, I love going to Costco with my partner. Yeah. Like what? What's wrong with you? Costco. I mean, yeah, literally get a sample and sit in a recliner. They have missalers, shareers in the middle of the store and you choose to be miserable. I will say if you go on a Saturday morning, that parking lot does stress people out a little bit. What are you going to? I usually go to the one in Woodland Hills, but that one, I need to go to a new one because the, that one's parking lot is shared with like nine, like a home depot and like a plant, like a plant of fitness. It's, there's a conglomerate of stuff. Yeah. It needs its own space. Yeah, I go to the Burbank one. Oh, good, bad. Real good. You can go to the Ikea in Burbank. Love it. That is one of the best Ikea's in North America. It's, you can get your steps into there. Oh, it's good. I don't even work out anymore. I just hit my Apple Watch on zero and just go find the meatballs. I literally have you tried the plant balls? Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that one's great. You just go up the escalator. You're right there in the food. You don't even have to go through the store. You just right up in the cafeteria. I think I deals every day of the week. It's always bike Friday on Ikea. Literally. Like meatballs are half off basically three days over the week. Really? Yeah, and the plant balls. It's, so what is the plant balls just a tofu cylinder? No, I think it's like lentils and stuff. I don't even know. They say the ingredients, but it's, they taste better than the meat. Really? So good. You can't even tell. It looks like meat. Better than the meat. Somebody ride in and say if they've ever gone on a date to Ikea for the meatballs. Yeah. A date? Yeah. Like early stages of relationship or like, all right, let's go. Maybe a year in. Okay, okay. Year ends good. You trust, you know. Yeah. I'm saying like first date you meet on hinge. Like, hey, yeah, let's go out Saturday and eight and he's like, oh, it'll pick you up. Honestly, it would be a good test. It would be a good test. It's funny because there's a lot of things to talk about. Yeah. It's a lot of ref, a lot of banter. And you can kind of see like where someone's like design kind of mind goes to. Yeah. It is a fun place to go. Honestly, I think that should be a bigger first date strategy. Yeah. You meet there. They don't know where you live. If you want, you could buy something and build it together. See how you communicate. Yeah. You can see how he does in high-pressure stress. Yeah. See parking. Yep. This might be a good idea. I kind of like this. I'm behind this. I like an idea with the activities. I like the casual dinner as well. It's like something that gives room to riff. And I think just seeing where people's mind goes. If there's 12 lamps in front of you, what are you like? What are you like? I like this one because this one is more of like an amber warm tone than I just feel like there's a lot to go based on. I'm with you. Anyone with cool, white in their homes? Jail. Jail. What are you doing? What are you working corporate at home? I would be set off constantly. Yeah. I literally, November 1st, I have a tree up in my house. That's only light on now. Really? It's just nice soft glow. Happy Zen. You know, it's not Zen though. This next one. Good, good, good. This is coming from Truff my chest. Titled, My girlfriend found out that I lied about me and my friends playing fantasy football. And I know I screwed up big time. I know it was wrong to lie to my girlfriend and I probably should have just told her the truth. I lied because I didn't want to hurt her or upset her. But I realized it was still a lie. I've been playing fantasy football with some friends for years. We're all big sports fans, but football is the biggest. Last season, one of the guys dropped out of our fantasy league because he said it was taking up too much time and he was afraid it was pushing him into a gambling problem. Very responsible guy. Software. Yeah, geez. We needed another player and my girlfriend watches football. So we asked her to play. I know I'm going to catch heat for saying this, but it wasn't as fun playing with her as I thought it would be. I don't know if it was beginner's luck or what, but she pretty much destroyed the rest of us all season. It wasn't fun losing to her. So this season, we decided to tell her we weren't playing this year. I didn't want to at first, but the other guys insisted. We invited the new brother-in-law of one of the guys to play instead. I just told her everyone was too busy to play this year and she didn't question it. On Thursday night, we slipped up and she found out we are all still playing. She had to go to work, but she was pissed off. She's been frosty since she got home Friday morning. Next weekend, we are supposed to go to an out-of-state wedding. Her family isn't from Chicago, but now she said she wants to go by herself. I tried to explain, but it just made her mad. It's nothing personal. No one hates her or anything. I know I'm going to catch heat in the comments. Every time I try to explain it, it makes it worse. I screwed up and there's no way around it, but she's so upset and I don't know what to do to make it better. I know I fucked up. Yeah, lots on pack here. This is worse than finding out that you're not a part of a group chat. This is the final level boss of that. I think once you're in a fantasy league, that's until death does part. Until you pull a plug in yourself or you leave, you're kind of like grandfathered in. That's what I would think. People every year, they're like, are you playing this year? I'm like, I don't know. And then I play. And I do like it. I just don't like losing, which is kind of him. Well, my question to this guy is, if he wouldn't have lost to her, would he have still tried to do it without her? Because is he like a sore loser? Yeah. Okay, so he's a sore loser. All of them are. Yeah. I don't like losing to a girl. Oh, beginners look. Yeah, and I'm just curious like how much did it affect the relationship where he felt like I shouldn't tell it? She's gonna know. Do you know how hard it is to, I don't even play fantasy, but like all my friends do. They're watching a game. They're screaming. They're like, we need Pukin' Nakuha. We need to do your art. They're like, their stats are so specific that it's like, you would know. You're literally, I feel like watching games you wouldn't and then sitting on your phone. Why are you watching the Browns? Like, oh, Hertz, are you kidding me? Yeah. Four picks, five picks. Like, I think he got like negative point four. That's like harder. Yeah. That's really bad those things. That's like literally harder to hide that you're in a fantasy where you've been like having an affair. I think so. Like an affair you just changed your name to like Bob from Costco. Then, you know, but like the fantasy, there's so many notifications. There's always a group chat about the fantasy, like talking shit on each other. That's, yeah, he slipped up on that. Yeah. What he should have done, which is worse, but not good. Okay. But what this specific guy should have done, of course, babe, you should play. Let me help you recruit. Let me help you draft. And sabotage, sir. Sabotage. Which I, I'll probably say it's worse. It is worse. But if you wanted to not be such a loser, but I also think there is a lot of beginner's luck to fantasy. Like, the one time I played, I just was like, yeah, you have a cool name. I like that team, cool colors. And then I, I, I'm seeing a place like second or third. So like, look at that. Yeah. I feel like the less you care, the better you do. Correct. That's weird. It's kind of like that in most things in life too. I do a lot of talking. I'm sorry. Where do you fall on with this? No, you're here to talk. Right. Don't apologize for talking. But this is, I don't want to, I don't want to quiet the female voice like this guy did. You're doing great, sweetie. No, I, I talk too much usually. So this is refreshing. What would you, if this was, if you were in this situation in your phone, you find out, I don't know if this is break up worthy. I think it does speak to a larger issue though. Like, you're lying to me. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, okay, it's fantasy football. But like overall, it's a big deal. And you went along. About fantasy football. It's almost about the line. It is. It's about the line. And you don't respect me because you were willing to lie to me and kick me out. And it's like, he has this line here where it was like, it was most of the other guys. You still didn't stand up for your girlfriend and include her after she had already been grandfathered in. So it's weird. I had this boyfriend in high school and he cheated on me and his excuse like, it was like, why, like, why did you do that? He goes, well, my buddies didn't like that. I had a girlfriend. And so they made me cheat. And I'm like, you're so fucking dumb. They made you cheat. Yeah, they made you put your dick in someone else. No, no. They put handcuffs on me and gave me a viagra and threw me in a closet with her. Like what? No. That was you because you were insecure or whatever. They were the kids. I know. And that's kind of him. He's just like, it was my buddies. So I don't know. I think like you really got to make it right. And like, honestly, I don't know what would make it better. Like it is painful. That's freaky. Yeah. But is it break up worthy? When you redeem that back or is that trust really broken? I think you're going to redeem it back. It's just not like, it's just not fun to know that there's people having fun without you when you should have been a part of that. I literally think it's a whole like, you're not in a group chat. It's so painful. It's just so painful. And then he's going to try and kind of do like a pity thing. Well, it's like, well, do you want to help me coach my team or next year? Well, well, name my team after you. You can play on it. My team. It's like that bridge has been crossed. Yeah. And it's like, would she even want to go back into a league next year and have her own team? She's to find a different, different league to be in. I know. And I think that's like what she should do. It's like branch out. Like if she does like fantasy go play with some other girls or other friends, other people. But it really sucks when you like try to insert yourself and like have fun and like find out you're not in a group chat. But you ask to join or it's like, you find out all of your friends are going to branch and you're like, hey, can I come? And they're like, actually, no, the reservation's already been made. Like that hurts. And the hard part is it sounds like she wasn't even like not asked, but like they made up the elaborate plan to be like, we'll just say we're not doing it this year. Because now not only does he have to keep the secret, but everybody else in the fantasy group also has to keep the secret. If they go out to like lunch or dinner, he has to text a different group chat and be like, nobody talk about football. And they're sitting there like, man, weather's crazy. I know. I mean, you could have just said, hey, that guy wanted to come back. Like, we're still doing it, but that guy wanted his spot back. Yeah. Still lying, but you're not lying. It's a smaller lie. But now it's like he's literally like creating it like a different like life for this lie. Not great, really tricky situation. I feel like he did write in and hopes that his girlfriend is also listening to the show. You think so? He said like, multiple times, and then he's like, I fucked up. I'm so sorry, I'm fucked up. I know I'm going to catch heat. I fucked up. Baby, I love you. I'd be in aversary. We do have some comments from OP. Oh, please. So someone goes, you definitely messed up. This won't even be about excluding her from something, but how you were okay lying to her. The key to relationship is communication. My only suggestion for your current situation would be to man up, take full responsibility and apologize, then sit down and have an honest conversation with her about why you did what you did and what you plan to do to make sure communication is honest going forward. If you're lucky and work for it, you'll be able to build up trust again. Yeah, I feel like it's a very solid answer coming across. Solid? Yeah, OP responds. Yeah, I know you are right. I make no excuses. I realize I screwed up. Every time I try to explain, I make it worse. I did apologize, but she doesn't want to hear it right now. I understand why she's mad, and I don't want to make any excuses for lying or hiding it. I should have stuck to my guns when the other guy's insisted. Yeah. I don't think a woman wants to hear a man explaining why she's not a part of it. She knows why. There's no point in being like... Because you're pathetic store losers. Yeah. You don't want a girl doing better than you. That for sure. I also feel like maybe he couldn't have been maybe a... Because I think I'm not in any fantasy groups, but from my friends who are in fantasy football groups, the group chat is like 90% of it, like how they're texting and just talking shit. So he maybe felt some sort of way that he couldn't talk as reckless or something. Oh, okay. Okay. So maybe he was like getting like side bullied by the other guys. I don't really know. I would have... I would need to see some receipts here, but regardless, he didn't do the right thing. It... I mean, just like she's gonna know. It's so hard to hide that. We do have an update. Oh. A full official update. Did they break up? So the update is coming two months later. It just came a couple days ago, actually like three days ago. So update is coming two months later. So it's over. I know I screwed up and the writing was on the wall. The worst part is I have no excuses. I know how badly I fucked this up. I'm not even looking for sympathy here. When my girlfriend got back from the wedding, she asked me why I lied to her. I didn't have an answer for her. All of my explanations just made it worse and I didn't really explain anything. I tried to apologize, but she didn't want to hear it. It was the worst week of my life. It was almost like she was freezing me out. At one point, she asked me if we ever talked about her in the group chat for our fantasy league. You are on it! I didn't even have to answer. She just said it's not nice, right? And I think that was the turning point. I never want to see her cry and the worst part is knowing I did this because I was stupid and didn't stand up to my friends. She said she doesn't think we are compatible and shouldn't date anymore. She didn't want to accept my apologies and I understand and I won't bother her now. She went to stay with her family for another week and now I've heard she came back because of her job, pharmacist. Oh, you really blew it. And now she's staying with friends, but I will leave her alone. I'm looking for another place to live because our lease is up at the end of the month. She left two weeks ago and it feels empty and the worst part is I know it's my fault. I barely care about watching football now and normally I would be excited about it because my team is in first place. And then her so funny. He's trying to get sympathy out of this. And my team is in first place and I had Aaron Rogers for 47 points. Chocolate doesn't even taste good anymore. Yeah, but that's why I feel like he thinks that his ex now I think is a big fan of the show because he's saying I can't even watch football anymore. I think winged by a partner and leaving it. He's saying so many details. I know. And this, this last line here, if you take anything away from my post, don't put your friends over the person you love, learn to stand up to your friends. I learned my lesson after all of this. Like I hope you see this and he just keeps like going back to his friends. It's like I should have stood up to my friends. I shouldn't have let them bully me so hard. It's like, I got it. I'm just lying. That's coming the hair. Peer pressure is tough. But then you still were talking shit in the group chat. Right. Like, so you lied. And then you were talking about her in the group chat. What were you saying? Pull it up. What were you saying in that group chat? I think the receipts. Yeah, I think I think, yeah, first thing she's available now for the draft. Fellas find her and keep her in your team. Okay. Yeah, I think it's just about the lying. I think it's not even about the fantasy football at that point. It's just like what type of guy, what I want to date, who is a sore loser one and two would rather go with his friends than kind of keep his partner happy. Yeah. You know, I don't really feel bad for this guy. No. It's just funny. I can't even watch football anymore. Oh my god. Grow up. Grow up. Imagine him going back to watching football with his friends. Like somebody on his fantasy team was playing, you like turn it off. This is too much for me to watch the PTSD. Literally. Oh my gosh. I'm kind of happy. Like it seems like football might be forever. Well, tainted for him. Which she probably loves. Good. Every time you watch the Vikings, I want you to think of me. That's my team. Minnesota. Two plus two, yeah. Two plus two equals seven. I'm a Rams guy. So I would love to know what what his roster was too. I would love to know like I want to see his fantasy football like team just like and judge him as a person. I mean, he's number one. It is league. That was also really funny. He's like, I can't even join him number one right now. Okay. So like if you're in last place, you would be enjoying it. I think it's just like, that's why guys are so funny. You are a weird breed. Very weird breed. He's like trying to be sympathetic, but he's also like, I'm also number one. He's like $5,000 and I'm going to have to can't go with it, but I like it. I can't think about it. It is so goofy. Yeah. I love to be a fly in the wall when he was trying to explain why she wasn't in it. Yeah. Babe, come on. You know, like, you have your nails always done and like trying to trade and draft on your phone. It's just stressful. I don't want to put that pressure in. And you have new gels, right? Is that what they're called? Also, it's so funny. Where he's like, I couldn't come up with a good reason. Your reason was you guys are all insecure and don't like losing to a woman. Like that's, that's all it is. Like you could have just said that like my buddies are threatened by you, babe. Like you were too good last year. Yeah. That's the honest truth. So why couldn't you just come up with that? Yeah. He's just an idiot. So is this next one though? Real quick on the last story. I hope the X. I hope she becomes like an NFL like analyst and is like commentating every game. So every time he watches, like she's up there with like Tom Brady and he's like, I could have had you. Also, can we talk about how much Tom Brady has come into his own as an announcer? Yeah. I think a lot of people are criticizing him year one. Tom's not that good. He's got to figure it out. He's not seen him this year. Love him. He's great. I'm now Tom Brady super fan. He's awesome. It's also so funny like underneath his name. It's like, I forget who is Kirk something I think he was commenting with the other day and then I'm just talking about Brady. It's like seven times super bowl champ. You're like, what a casual flex. I got it. It's on Brady, seven times super bowl champ, by the way. Oh yeah. Let's go ahead and comment on today's game. Seven times champ. Seven? So should you like buy like a state and then like just live there? I think he like has a stake in the Raiders. Really? He did get in trouble with some crypto stuff. Tom Brady? That wasn't good Tom. Yeah. Doesn't even have enough money. But they like had to ban him from like the broadcaster meetings because he would go to the Raiders and he's like a very active involved owner. Kind of like some insider trading fears. Oh. So they say allegedly, allegedly. Interesting. But great an answer. Really excited. Great an answer. Love him. Great an answer. Great. Great time. This next one. This next one. It's locked in. I feel like finding good undergarments is always a struggle. Painful underwire doesn't cover anything and doesn't stretch to allow your parts to fit in it. That is not the case with skims. Skims is different. A lot of skims fabric is life changing. Like the cotton jersey full brief never loses its shape. I also love how breathable they are. I feel like I can go a whole day and not feel stinky or swampy or gross. I'm in my loodial phase right now and I wore a skims body suit today and it is probably the only reason I left the house. It held everything in. It gave me some nice compression in areas I wanted it and it gave me the confidence to go out, go about my day and go to a work event and not feel self conscious. If you have a pain point with undergarments or you've been struggling to find a pair that make you feel good, give skims a try. Shop bras and underwear at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Click the podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Thank you. Story number three for us here. I found out that my 24 female boyfriend, 28 male of three years, told people that I was a crazy nut job who would poison his dog and slit his tires. I'll keep this short. We ran into one of my boyfriend's buddies that he hadn't seen in a bit. They do little chit chat and this guy asks, quote, so you finally left your coat. Crazy ex found yourself a nice woman. By the way, did she end up smashing your car? I knew something was up later when we were alone and so I probed until my boyfriend came clean. Apparently he wanted to break up with me one year into the relationship. So he started telling people that I was a crazy nut job. He told him that he was too scared to break up with me because I might slit his car tires or poison his dog to get back at him. He says he wanted to break up before but that he got over it and now he loves me. Why did he tell people that? Well, I had an elective surgery, breast reduction that he was against. I think most men are against breast reductions. Like, if you ain't adding, then I'm subtracting. I'm getting out of here. Some people are butt guys. Butt guys? Oh, how state? No butt. Butt guys. Butt guys. Butt guys. I'm saying butt guys. I have an accent. I could have swore I heard butt guys. I was like, that's a term that I'm not missing. Butt talks. I don't discriminate. I'm for either. He thought it was crazy for me to consider such a surgery when everyone he knew was getting them larger. Obviously, no one ever talks about the pain and complications. Big chest bring on. So he was oblivious to it. He realized when I was in the hospital though that he loved me regardless of how small my boobs would end up being. Which is something you probably said. Over 100%. And he got really worried for my health when I didn't call him at the designated post-op time. This whole thing has left a bad taste to my mouth. And I don't know if I can trust him or be with someone who was considering ending it with me over surgery. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not. Please help. I think no guy will ever be in support of a breast reduction, which is a sad truth. My husband is so for it. He's sad. But he's like, you know, I mean like, I'm going to strap some canelops on your on you. It wasn't what I'm just, yeah, your generic male is not going to be like, hell yeah. They're going to be like, are you sure about that? How bad is the back pain? You want to get some icy hot instead? I think like that just I think the male brain just hears less of something they love and they're like, why would you take that away from me? I've let him hold them for you all day if you need. Yeah, I've let him even told like, God, that's a slap in God's face. I'm like, what? Yeah. This is so dramatic. Yeah, it is very dramatic. I will say, but, but if he's going to make it a big deal, I mean, it's also not his body. So he can't really be like, well, what do you mean that it gives you back pain? But the other things, so let me recap because I am one of these dumb males as I say. He was telling his friends like, I'm going to leave this girl, which was the same girl. And then when the friend comes out and is like, oh, you left your ex, not knowing it was the same girl. Okay, good. I'm up to speed. Well, it sounds like he matured a little bit in the relationship, but was the breast reduction year one? Um, he matured a little bit. About that time. Yeah. It seems like it was about that time, a year into the relationship. They've been together three years now. She's 24. So at the time she would have been 22. He's 28. He would have been 26. Most of his brain was developed at that time. Yeah. I think it just finished loading honestly. It's not great. I'm sensing the theme today. Men hate shit. I'll say it in an Abercrombie sweater. Men hate shit. I would like to hear where you're coming in at with this. Um, yeah. I definitely think he's giving some really toxic, weird energy. I find it really strange that he was so cowardly. Didn't like you. Wasn't in you after a year of a relationship and couldn't have a conversation. And be like, Hey, I think we should break up. So he's trying to like slander your name to all these strangers. She'll poison my dog. She'll slash my tires. One, do you think I'm that type of person to do that? If you do, you don't think very highly of me. And that's not a good sign. Or two, you're just a pathetic liar. And how do I trust you going forward? Also poison someone's dog. That's like, there's something they do like the King Arthur days. That's deranged. It's insane. That's serious. You guys are insane to think that somebody would even do that. I know. So it's like, where are you getting this from? Where are you getting this from? So honestly, like, this one feels worse than fantasy football and fantasy football. They broke up over it. And so this one, I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, it's like, oh, I realized I could love you. No matter how small your boobs were, love me for me or go away. What happens if we decide to have kids and I put on 30 pounds, the average weight gain during pregnancy is like 34 pounds. You're going to love me then. He seems fickle. Yeah. All the way. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's just, I don't like, and I think we all know a guy like, I don't like when guys kind of like pawn off their own stress and like they use their, usually their girlfriend has like, not the physical punching bag, but like a punching bag where they're just almost like, there's no point where they need to be like, hey, how are things going? But dude, they're good. You know, we have our indifference is here and there, but we're working on it. Like that's as deep as you need to get in that. Instead of be like, she's crazy. I don't know if I like our shelpausing my dog and slash my tires. Like, there's issues that need to be at stake. You don't need to bring that to people. I just have so many people that I like, I've heard talk about that. It feels very collegey where it's very like, they almost feel the need to like say that to like be cool or something, but it's really not. No. It sounds like sad a little bit. It really does. There's, there's one comment that OP does respond to. So someone says this and they quote OP, he realized what I was in the hospital though that he loved me regardless of how small my boobs would end up being. And they end quote, oh, how generous of him. So here we have a guy who got so pissed at you for a breast reduction that he slandered you to all of his friends. Then he felt just guilty enough about it to magnanimously change his mind about dumping you, but never notified his friends that he'd lied. What a prize. Oh, yeah. I think I'm missing the big obvious stuff here. I mean, it's going over my head today too. Don't you're good. OP, I'd pass hard on this relationship. The petty in me says to dump him and immediately assure him, quote, don't worry, your tires will remain unslashed. They were nothing but supportive of my surgery. No beef with them. Yeah. And OP responds, here's the thing though, he actually thought I was that crazy at the time. He was really worried that I do something crazy. He reasoned that I was crazy enough to get surgery, crazy enough to not be disturbed and actually be interested in blood and internal organs, etc. Crazy enough to enjoy murder, mystery horror movies and actually laugh rather than be scared. So he didn't know what I was capable of, apparently. The more I put in perspective and I picture this guy in the hospital being like, all love you. No matter if you go from a double D to a D. I will, I will be here for you. What guys find to be like sentimental is really not like he probably was like, oh, just say it. Travis going there and tell her, you'll love her, okay. You can stitch her bras one cup size smaller. And maybe she can start doing squats and build that ass. I've always wanted like he had to work himself through that and be like, this is my apology. Yeah. This is me white flag. Like, I'll still love you if you go a smaller cup size. I know. That shouldn't have been in the question. That should just be like, wait, you were worried about that? Guys that talk poorly about the relationship just kind of just reflect on their own. I, because anytime somebody talks poorly about the, someone else like, oh, like, well, I want to hear their side because now I'm just only judging you. I don't. I just wanted to see that guy's face when his friend came up and was like, you ditched that crazy bitch and he's like, how do you not recognize her? Yeah. Does he never poster? Guys post. He's got friends Instagram last night and he posted in 2015 and then 2020. I was like, who are you doing those five years? Were you in prison? Where you been? Where you been? Guys like don't post. That is weird. You know, so like, that's also on him for not letting everyone know like, hey, this is my girlfriend. This is my life. Yeah, I need to interview the friend. Yeah. Yeah, it's suspicious. I can picture this type of guy though. Yeah. Well, we don't have an update. That's all we got. That one comment from OP. I think they're both in the same fantasy football group though. That's the last guy. I could see it. Guys, yeah. This post was nine years old though. So like very vintage nine years old. So we're definitely not getting an update now. Dang. Yeah. And never find out what cup size you went to. Went to the archives for you. Thanks to direct caterpillar 77, one of our faves. Hey. Shout out to direct caterpillar 77. Do you play the Sims? I do. I did as a lot as a child. Oh, you're going to be perfect for this next one. Perfect. Perfect. Is coming from AITH, another AMI the asshole type subreddit. And it's titled AMI the asshole for deleting my girlfriend's Sims save files. Yes. Let's just start by saying that I, 24-male, love my girlfriend, Alia, 20-female, very much. She's a super hardworking girl and she spends a lot of her time on classes trying to get the highest grades possible for applying to nursing school in the near future. And she's not doing that. She's doing chores or cutting down on her ever growing to do list. And when she's not doing that, she's spending two hours a day playing the Sims. This one. This is where the problem comes in. After all of the stuff she does, Alia doesn't have as much time to spend with me as she could. She's a perfectionist too. So when she's doing the more serious stuff like school, she puts in more effort than necessary, which is time-consuming. It really got to me that even knowing this, she'll spend so much time on the Sims. It's something frivolous she's doing when we already only get so little time together. She's also an adult, so essentially playing digital dolls almost every day is kind of something she ought to grow out of. Which is why she's about maddened. Literally. I decided to step in and have her cut back on this. I obviously didn't delete the whole game, but I figured deleting the little save files she was working on would deter her from spending so much time on it. That's good. That decision backfired tremendously. When she logged on her game, she thought there was some glitch going on and kept restarting it until I explained to her that I had removed the saves. She absolutely flipped out on me saying she'd been playing in that save file since like 2017. When I had ruined years of game progress, Sims isn't even a gold game. Question mark, question mark, question mark. I told her she was overreacting because she still has the game. That's a good one to go to. And she could just remake the same little characters if it mattered so much, but it doesn't need to. And maybe now she can focus on more adult interests like loved ones. Basically, she laughed immediately, saying she was so stupid to leave her gaming laptop at my place and now she won't answer my calls. I know that this is a total overreaction, but I started to feel a little bad once I realized it may not be as easy to redo her characters as I initially thought. So am I the asshole for deleting my girlfriend's Sims saves? Yes. Yeah, I mean, like so many, like what do you see me and you want to do more adults of this? You want her like playing like Turbo Tax or something? Like here, let's play chess in the park. I think something is only going to make her want to play that more because she's going to want to try and get back to where she was, which you're like literally adding work to her plate. It's so demoralizing and just like, oh, I can't even explain the pain of like you've already spent all this time and energy and effort to do something. And then if you have a glitch that accidentally erases it and you have to do it over again, it like, even if it's a four fun activity, it totally takes the joy out of it again. Because you're like, I was already here. Yeah, I already did all this. You didn't want to get back to where you were. As a man who plays and listen, I'm a delusional man. I play college football NCAA on Xbox. Okay. And I built up a character last name Wallace, six three, Jacked unit. I mean, he's like a 250 pound quarterback, just a unit, right? Okay. Yeah. Fourth season, fourth year. Yeah. He's probably going to go to the NFL. Let's be honest. And I've spent days playing that. And I don't really play a lot of video games just throughout like the last of year to have spent just like days. Yeah. I really deleted that. Like, I wouldn't, like, I would be sad because all that time spent, it's like Billion of Stan Castle, the beach all day and some assholes comes up and kicks it. You're like, well, I'm going to, I mean, they're sad and I'm not going to rebuild it or I'm going to rebuild it and spend even more time doing it. Why shit in someone's Cheerios? You could have just said, hey, you really love some more quality time together without deleting her shit. You can actually play Sims together. Get into it. Learn what she likes and then help adapt to that. Get into it. Come on. Let's see what Sims characters do. They get freaky if you click the right buttons. That's so crazy to me. Like, that's where my head went. I'm meeting them when you talk about the Sims because I only played it when I was young. When I was, I don't even know how old I was. Probably in like six grade. And I, there was like one family computer and I would just be like, nobody's home. With the dial up. Dial up? Oh, yeah. And I mean, like, dude, it would be so funny. I'd move these two characters into their house. There'd be no roof. There'd be no kitchen. There'd be one room with like a heart-shaped bed in a shower and I'd be like, do it. Go to the shower. Do it. They wouldn't even have bath towels. Oh my God. But I mean, I was in like six red and like, I didn't even know that you, it was like a loophole. Like, you can do this. Yeah. Like, I had just had this exact sad talk and you're like, I'm just gonna be in this game. I'm making my own birds in the bees. So circling back is a man who has built up this catalog in a video game. It's not your whole life and it's, I doubt it's taking up as much time or also to this guy be more interesting. But I literally, I think that like, if the sim, the sim's only gonna speak English and they're beating you. They're sitting there going, bo-bap-boop. To your point, I would ask for more quality time. But also, there's in free time either like to be dead alone or doing some of my girlfriend. But it's like, there is times where you're just like, I'm not working. I'm not doing this and I just, I want to zone out and play video games. Yeah. The same way you'd watch a TV show or whatever. But he's in communicating, like, deleting files. Idiot. Absolute idiot. Top comment. Not only are you the asshole, that's some seriously controlling red flag behavior and unacceptable. What does it matter if she plays a game for a couple of hours a day? People aren't allowed leisure time. Who are you to control what they choose in their recreation time? If you want to spend more time with her, be an adult and tell her. And then, Alia finds the post. Oh. She finds it. Really? This is good. I like this. She goes, did you really think I wouldn't find this post? Did you really think I wouldn't see how you've been talking about me? I shudder to think what you've said and what you deleted. Why don't you tell them the real story about how you not only deleted the save files, but also hammered the backup thumb drive so hard, there's a dent on your countertop now, while I cried for you to stop. This is like a digital Jerry Springer episode. Why didn't you tell them about how you tag along to my SI group after bio because you don't want me to be out of your sight? Why don't you tell them about how my best friend, who's so called in love with me, literally lives in another state and only visits once or twice a year? Why don't you tell them about how when my mother was sick a few months ago, you were blowing up my line all day, every day for attention, knowing that I was her primary caregiver 24, seven. Why are you telling them you work full time or that you manage a grocery store when you part-time manage the fast food place inside of it? I want you to fucking take this to heart when I say this, but I've been genuinely so much worse off for knowing you. You've destroyed myself a steam with your constant criticisms of what I enjoy. You've controlled me in every way for as long as I've known you. You don't understand boundaries or when no means no. Your racist fucking family treats me like dog shit and your friends are equally racist punk bitch assholes. You ruined something I've spent years of my life growing up with and I could never bring myself to forgive you for that. No matter how much love I've poured into you. I hate you for what you did to me and for what you've been doing. I mean that. I'm going to make this so, so crystal clear since you didn't understand it the first time. All caps. We are through. Go fuck yourself. I mean that was a banger and I love the receipts on that because first of all, the second you said the fast food in the grocery store ago, okay, he's working out of McDonald's inside of a Walmart and that guy is probably Mick jealous of her fun that she's having on the Mick Sims. Yeah, I he's a psychopath. Yes, he's a psychopath hammering a thumb drive. I don't even think that's where the game is. Is that where the game is? I mean, you could probably plug that into your computer while you're playing and save both places. Oh, that makes sense. But like a backup in case your computer got corrupted. This guy just seems like he just needs the attention. He's a controlling psychopath. Your mom is sick and you're taking care of her and he just wants to call on you. He wants to call on you, checking in on you. He has to walk to SI group. I don't know what SI group is. Sports elsewhere. That's what I thought. Actually, but that's I don't know after bio. So it sounds like a college class to my SI group. I think if anybody writes into this form and it's called am I the asshole? It's kind of like smelted Delta thing. Oh, you're asking. You're like, I mean, yeah, not all the time. But this guy it feels like is looking for the validation. Even if one person in the comments is like, yeah, bro, fuck this sims. You got this. He's like, see? He needed like some when people are in the wrong. They need one person to tell them they're not to feel validated. And I think that's kind of what's going on here. Something is weird. I mean, I just I feel like some people though are so delusional. And if you're this level of like psychopath, I just don't even think you know you're like just so like off your rocker. I genuinely think he thinks he's the victim in all of this still. Yeah. Like, oh, I have a true crime podcast now too. And I just had like this case and it's like the worst case I've ever come across. But this guy like laughed at his victims being called victims. He's like, victims. And it's just like some people are just so deranged. Yeah. That's what he's giving. Like he's, whoo, crazy. I mean, it's like the Sims was the only thing he could blame it on because she's doing schoolwork and then also work. And he's like, with any free time you should be spending with me. Why are you playing the Sims? I know. But it's not, it seems like every ounce of attention needs to be pointed at him. I know. Well, it's crazy too. Like I just make a big Mac and shut up, sir. Shut up. Seriously, shut up. Like he's 24. She's 20. Their age gap isn't super crazy. Like usually you'll see this controlling dynamic from someone who's like 28 and the girlfriend's 20 because they go for younger girls that they can then control. And like even though he's only 24, he's kind of following that pattern of like serious control manipulation, insecure, crazy jealousy. Like it's concerning for him. Like he really needs to work on himself. College student playing Sims is nothing out of the ordinary. No. He's acting like she was like 45 and would like get back from like Merrill Lynch and be like, the time to fire up the Sims. It's just that's her out. That's her release. It's there's two different types of release, I think, and free time is either being as people are not. And that's her angle not. We do get one more update from Alia. Hi there. Alia here from the infamous post about my Sims 4 saves getting deleted. I just want to put a little placeholder update on my page for anyone who's read the last post. Please note that I've turned off the ability to search my username and app because although I did want people to hear the whole story at first, the social media response has been a bit overwhelming. I'm just a regular person and I didn't know this would get publicized to this extent. So please be kind. All that said update missing info here are ages. For one, there was some confusion about when my ex and I got together. We knew each other all of our lives since our families are close. But we started dating when I was 12 and he was 16. A, A, Icky, nope. We actually have a five year age gap. I'm newly 20 and he turns 25 this year. Hope it clears that up. It made things worse. It, it's so much worse. Cause 12 and 16, he can drive a car and you're, maybe you have your period, what, what, it, you don't even know long division yet. How does that work when he hits 18 and she's 13? Is that math, right? Yeah. I wouldn't work in some states. Hopefully all of them. Cause then he's not doing what? He's disgusting. He's a controlling man and sounds like he always has been. He was the guy doing burnouts in the high school parking lot when he was like 19. Yeah. It's a Camaro. Not great. I mean, the good part for hers is like, she's 20 and it's like, believe this man, you have so much more life ahead of you. I know. So many people go through like that shitty relationship and they're like 18 to like 22, which sucks so bad. But then you go like, okay, this is what I don't want in life. This is what I do. Going forward. Yeah, you're so much better for it. It's unfortunate, but you learn a lot from it. I know you really do. She does go on to add not only did he delete the saves and clear the recycling bin. He pulled out my backup drive and smashed it with a hammer. Not damn. Once he realized the Epsim files were on there. He lied about not knowing it was such a detailed game because I talked to him about it a ton of times before. This was not a matter of spending time together. We regularly spent hours of every day with each other. He would insist to come along to any class or class related activity that he wouldn't get kicked out of like bio study group. He just needs free education. It sounds like I gave him as much attention as I possibly could, but it was never ever enough. Summer is in just three weeks. So we would have had time then. He was just being awful to me. He is a generally jealous, overprotective, condescending person. He pressured me into sex activities throughout our relationship. When his friends and family were all incredibly racist to me, it's past time for him to be gone from my life and I'm still coming to terms with all the ways he has wrecked me. Hasn't wrecked you, girl. Hasn't wrecked you. So much life to live. You're 20. Priming your life. Now you've got this experience and like, you take it and you move on and you learn. Clearing up some other questions though she goes on to add. My seven year save existed across three laptops over time. So those who were skeptical of it being able to survive on one for so long were right. I did have a password on my gaming laptop. He memorized it to get in. He mentioned that I was dumb for leaving my laptop at his place. I said that he's done something similar before when I left my phone unattended. He went through it, promised never to again. Only for me to find out months later that he'd been logged into my Instagram account and was reading my messages daily. Some people wondered why I have no mention of him on my page. That's because I was always on edge of him going through my phone. So I deleted anything about him that I'd post. I tried to cover my tracks to avoid his anger and then placeholder update. I was too anxious to retrieve the lost save files myself. So I'm going to go to a local tech shop in a few days to see what the professionals can do and the laptop will remain off until then. I've looked into a restraining order recently and ultimately it looks like I won't be able to do much as of now, but collect evidence and get cameras installed around my home. I don't go out in public anymore alone and I'm never without a trusted person. I appreciate all the people who have left me kind messages, sent me well wishes. I ask that no one offer me money. I won't accept it. Lastly, this is my lived experience, not just internet drama. So please be considerate. One last update we have. My saves are restored. God willing. Won't he do it? I'm typing this on my way to class. But yes, for anyone still wondering, I got everything back. That's so great. I'm looking for her and also so funny for the guy because he smashed hard drives. He memorized the gaming password. This guy is working like he's literally trying to dox the Epstein files. This guy is really going for it. This guy is a failed CIA agent in the making. I'm just like, you fucking loser. You're such a loser. You're going through. Such lengths. I'm so glad you got all the files back. Oh, so glad you got all the files back. She's out. She's moving on. I'm going to get through school becoming nurse. I mean, this is posted May 2nd, 2024. You know, almost going to be two years soon. Give us an update, girl. Where you at? That would be great. Where's he at? And what prison is it? So we went right into him. Oh, yeah, you know. I bet he's wishing he had a Sims game to play up in there. Little bitch. Get a friend, my guy. Get a friend. Get a friend. She's playing the Sims. Go on a walk. Read a book. Therapy. Go to therapy. Don't make your issues. Everyone else has a problem. Especially your girlfriend that you groomed. You a fucking weirdo. He's only looking out. We're not inward. The problems here. Yeah. Therapy. Therapy's good. I mean, once you smash and thumb like hard drives and all that, at what point do you get like, oh, maybe I need to work on this. I don't know. Even people that go to prison don't think they have problems. Come to the pool. Yeah, that's a, I'm really glad you have this.���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Sep is prepared to smoothness nourishment with the regimen use versus non-conditioning shampoo. Okay, this next one. Coming from a subreddit are slash nanny. So it's a subreddit for support stories, ideas, techniques, answers about the interview process, wage expectations, contracts, all things about being a nanny. Okay. So this is titled, am I overreacting about my nanny family having sex during the day? Okay. Yeah. We should have started the episode here. Really? No, no, no. But are you overreacting? I mean, there's a lot more to be written, but yeah, I got my thoughts. Okay. Yep. Hi, everyone. I'm a full time nanny for a stay at home mom with an eight-month-old baby. Stay at home, mom. All right. We'll move on. The baby is honestly perfect, so sweet and happy, naps great. I've been with the family for about seven months now. The mom and dad are both amazing employers. They're super nice to me. The mom gets me Starbucks and Asahi bowls. Even makes me lunch sometimes. I make $32 an hour with great benefits in my medium-cost of living area. So overall, this is a dream job. Here's sounds like a cream job. All that you finish. Here's my only issue. I'm pretty sure the parents are having sex during the dad's lunch break. Maybe every day or every other day. It's a lunch break. They go to their room and I never see anything inappropriate, but sometimes I hear what I think might be the bed moving. It's not loud or anything just enough to make me realize what's going on. Afterwards, her hair is messy, clothes changed, that kind of thing. Yeah. At least try to hide it. Try a car somewhere, exactly like good old days, but this is not starting to rain. Today, I asked the mom what she was up to when she came out of the room and she didn't really say much. I kind of jokingly said, quote, oh, were you napping? And she got a little red and awkward. That pretty much confirmed it for me. I know they're married adults and it's their house, but it still makes me feel a little uncomfortable since I'm taking care of their baby. They're not being disrespectful or obvious, but it just feels weird. Would it be totally out of line to ask them not to do that while I'm working? Or am I overreacting and should I just let it go? They really are such a great family and I don't want to make things awkward if this is just me being overly sensitive. What would you do? This is tricky because on one hand, it's disgusting and weird and violates everything HR. On the other hand, maybe they're trying to make another baby to keep employing her. Oh, don't hurt your income stream. You know, but obviously you can do that when maybe they're not there when they're not napping. Yeah. I think they know what's going on. I think that's probably like, it's not great. I can get how it feels a little uncomfortable. You know, it's one of those things where it's like, we all know we all do it or whatever. Everyone does it. But when you can hear it now, you're thinking about it. Yeah, no, I just don't want to hear it. So like, if I was going to give this nanny advice, I'd say, hey, $32 an hour is amazing. Like, amazing. This woman is buying you coffee and assayables and making you lunch some days. You say it's a dream family, not every nanny family is like this. Not every nanny family is this nice. Like, no. So what I would do is, hey, you know, their lunch is their time together as a couple which is great. You need to prioritize intimacy and sex if that's a part of your relationship. Do it. Put the baby in a buggy little stroller and every day at lunch, you go take a little walk. That's your new routine. Get out of the house. Oh, get out of the house. Let them do their thing. I also am coming from a really like sex and me are kind of desensitized. Like, I did my doctoral thesis on like intimacy and addressing sex as a part of psychosocial needs in the acute care settings. Like in a hospital setting, that was like my, my whole doctoral thesis basically because it's not addressed and it's so important. What do you mean in a hospital setting? So like when you are in acute care, like oftentimes I worked on a neuro unit. So that was like my thing. It's like, you have a stroke or you have, you know, a brain tumor, this and that. Yes, you're focused on healing and like therapy, but also like sex is an ADL. It's an activity of daily living. So it's a big part of a lot of people's lives and even not sex, but intimacy. How can we just cuddle and connect as a partner? Like still. So it's not talked about like I, I did a, a speech out like a stroke panel in Palm Springs and talked about sex and like different adaptations and equipment and this and that and a couple of people came up to me after and they were like, I had a stroke five years ago or seven years ago, whatever it was. This is the first time someone's talking about this with me. And it's like, that should be talked about in the acute stage early on. Hey, yeah, you might have limitations, but you should still be prioritizing sex. But okay, this is a whole soapbox, but sex is important. It's an activity of daily living. And it sounds like this husband was also having a stroke upstairs. But I think the biggest, I was, I was really not trying to be an appropriate doing that. That's very fascinating. It's crazy. There's so many cool devices. Okay. This is just my niche. It's just bizarre because it's like, you know, it's not right, but do you bring it up? It's like, do you live with that? Does that money now become dirty money? Because you're like, yeah, I'm getting paid well. And I'm getting crushed cut off my sandwiches, but I have to listen to that. I guess it's personal preference. But what is she really listening to? Like there's no mention of moaning. She's maybe hearing a bad move. Yeah. I, that's a good point. If you don't have any like confirmation or they're not being like flirty in front of you, it's a little better. It is a little, I think it just comes on to personal preference. If you can like at least say like, this could be what's happening up there. And I'm not okay with it. Then we find a new family. Or if it is like, honestly, it's pretty good gig. Sure, they move the couch around a lot upstairs. I guess it's just personal preference if you're okay with that or not. Put headphones on. Get some noise canceling headphones. Talk it up as a work advance. You're back. And buy the guy over. Whoa. Now you're getting fire. Fireful offenses. Yeah. Fire with fire. Um, yeah, I feel like it's just it's pounded. I mean, yeah, it will. It's it's just interesting because you're in there like at home. It is, I will say like, I'm obviously a little more desensitized to this. Is it uncomfortable? You're maybe directly beneath them in the living room and you're hearing a bad move. Yeah. If it feels like something you need to get off your chest and just say, hey, it's, you know, making me uncomfortable. Like, yeah, they could probably find another time realistically. But at the end of the day, like you have to kind of determine, is it worth me potentially losing my job and this really good gig? That's what I think comes down to personal. And that's, you gotta be true to yourself. I also think there could be a way. I hope this isn't manipulative. But you could say, hey, well, you guys are up there. Little Timmy blame on the kid. Little Timmy was going on up there and I like walked up the stairs and I heard something like, I just don't know what I should tell your son. You know, you, you're the middle man. Is that too weird? If you're like, hey, he was asking what was going on. But I didn't know what to say. I like heard some noises and I'm sure you guys weren't doing that. You know what I mean? You guys weren't right? You guys weren't right? I don't know. It is a weird thing because then it's like, is that only you can see how much further gets because then like maybe the guy, the husband's like, she never hears it. Maybe we can do this more or like, ah, the door is closed. Whatever. Who cares? Like, yeah. You know, it's a, it's a, it's a weird in between. I know. It's very unique because it sounds like both of them were working from home or they got to come home as well. You were coming for lunch. And then like, it's so crazy because like, in any other job, obviously, this wouldn't be acceptable. Like, if your boss was having sex in their office on lunch break, it'd be like, oh, yeah, no get HR involved. So if you look at it from this way, like, it's weird because the office is attached to the house. Many, it's just the house. It's like, well, we're upstairs. Yeah. Maybe like, if you had a different room, like, if your office building was downstairs and your apartment was at the top floor, except the differences one floor. Yeah. Blows the lines. I know. It's tough. Some people were saying that they should sue for like sexual harassment. Yo. And then everyone else in the comments is like, no, this is horrible advice. Do not sue them. What are you doing? So I don't know if there's any lawyers that want to chime in. Like, yeah, is this wrongful termination? It doesn't. There's no mention of a contract. There's no mention of like anything like that. One of the top comments, oh, girl, laugh in my ass off at $32 an hour. I would just put on headphones while baby naps and mind my business. Personally, I would let it go. Maybe that's the reason you're paid so well in the first place. Let Mama lay it down on him so you can make $64 an hour. But I think of you. Yeah. That's interesting. I think it just comes down to personal morals. The same way that somebody just put ahead and put them down like, oh, whatever. And then they come back down in 10 minutes for gives a shit. But if that is something where you're like, this is just it can be out and just too late for me. There's definitely families where both parents are at work. Yeah. They're not working for me. Yeah. And so I guess it is. And that's a that's a really good point because I have to realize not everyone is as just like can brush it off. And I would definitely I'd be I would be uncomfortable. But I would find a solution that doesn't involve telling them. And I also think it was weird that she kind of shamed her like, oh, were you napping? Yeah. Cause then it's only going to get like your business. It's going to lead to a level where you're going to be more direct with the. Oh, wow. You guys must have been stressed. You look pretty calm or like that's so inappropriate. You're you're at the end of the day and employee. They can fire you at will. So if it's a boundary for you, then yeah, give them notice and find a different family. But like don't be unprofessional. We do have a couple more comments from OP. Please. Someone goes, you are overreacting. I don't think you should make comments to them about what they are doing behind closed doors. I personally feel you should not ask them to not do that. You're overstepping and making it an issue. You said they aren't loud nor making it obvious. Adults do adult things. OP goes, but I'm working. You don't think it's disrespectful to fuck while someone's taking care of your kids under your roof. It's making me uncomfortable. They both go in the bedroom and come out, hair messy and smiley. It makes me feel weird. Someone goes, I mean good for them. Many parents end up hating each other during the baby years. These guys are lucky. They can afford an Annie and maintain a healthy sex life. They treat you well. You can't actually hear anything. So I would not be making things awkward. OP goes, it's very awkward. They both come down smiley and happy and in a good mood. Like guys, I know what you just did. You just had sex. Someone goes, then quit. OP responds, this is a super good paying job. The parents are beyond nice. This is the only flaw. Well, I wonder where they're so nice. I still think maybe I should mention it and maybe they'll stop fucking during my work day. They won't. Because then I think they mention the place fire. It's really a unique awkward situation. Because then if you wear headphones and you come down, it's like you were never wearing headphones throughout the day and then your headphones in. Well, me that might give them a clue because if you're not wearing headphones and they come down, you have headphones on. They're like, oh, hey guys. Yeah, I just, then that might be like, oh, good headphones on. Did you hear it? Maybe. We do get contacts that OP is 28 years old. Because at my first thought was like, how old are they? Is this an 18 year old nanny? 20 year old nanny, like 28. I'm like, okay, they've been a nanny for a decade. But we do get an update. That Friday morning, I told my nanny mom that I wanted to talk during the baby's nap and she said, okay, I brought up how uncomfortable I felt about what I thought was going on and mentioned how I could sometimes hear or notice things that made me think they were having sex while I was there. I told her it made me uncomfortable and that's when everything went downhill. Yep. She was very direct with me. She said my only job was to take care of the baby, not to worry about what she and her husband were doing. She told me if I had downtime, I could watch TV or read a book. I told her it just seemed weird that she'd come out with messy hair or different clothes. And she explained that sometimes they do workout videos in their room. Sometimes it's sex. P90X sometimes. Well, whoa, whoa, whoa. She threw that in there. She's like, yeah, sometimes we're watching some P90X, some old, some old 70s workout videos. Sometimes we're getting clapped. Sometimes it's sex. Sometimes it's cuddling and sometimes they're just napping. She said, whatever happens in her bedroom is none of my business. After that, things got really quiet. She wasn't mean, but I could tell she was uncomfortable and hurt. Then she told me I could go home for the day and I just knew that meant I was done. Later, she texted saying that they were going to move in another direction. And that was it. I feel horrible. I know I crossed a boundary and I regret bringing it up so much. I miss them terribly. The money was amazing. My nanny mom was so kind and their baby was absolutely perfect. I really wish I could fix this and somehow get my job back. How do I get my job back? Buy them, Loub. I really don't think this is a lesson learned and you move on. Well, yeah, you're not getting rehired. It's a lesson learned, but also I think how she would have continued to work then and not brought it up. She would have just still felt this weird emotion because it felt like this family wouldn't have stopped doing that. If you do, if you don't type thing because if she stayed there, she'd be like, God, I should quit. This is beginning weird. But she left and she's like, why did I leave? It wasn't that weird. Yeah, I think for this person's brain and like way of thinking and comfortability, I do think the confrontation needed to happen. And now it's like hindsight's always 2020. You would have left and then regretted it and been like, well, if I would have just talked to them, maybe they would have stopped. She got the clarity she was looking for. Are you doing this? She's like, yeah, sometimes we're doing a hit class upstairs or sometimes he's hitting. It's just really, it is a bizarre awkward thing to deal with, which I'm surprised that nobody else in that nanny support was like, yeah, this happens sometimes. It's bizarre. Here's what I do. I know. Not many comments I see on the original post. I mean, someone does like after the update, go back in comment. And it's just like, you were way out of line confronting because you suspect the married adults may have taken advantage of what they expected to be private time to do private things. Really, OP, the kid is napping. Instead of taking a break or focusing on cleaning or preparing for other activities, you were being creepy. E is dropping, listening for bed cracks, generating offence that they might have probably did enjoy a private intimate mutual activity in the most private space in their home. You're the problem. The whole problem. Damn. But you know, I feel like I'm going to push back here. If I'm that nanny and I'm like trying to read a book, and you hear like stuff moving upstairs, like that's all my head's going to be thinking about. Like it's it's you can not address it, but like there is a thought in the back of your head that you're like, the curiosity, you're just like, you can't. Yeah, you can't like try to focus. Yeah, and it's like, it's going on around me. Like it's just it is like how I don't know. I can't turn it out. It's like, you're like, I'm putting headphones in so I don't hear them having sex. It's not like I'm putting headphones in because I want to listen to this song in this podcast. It's like, the there is an underlying tone that like needs to be addressed somehow or some way, but I don't think it's just quite felt very confrontational. Like, hey, can we talk this and that? Yeah, no, if someone's can front to me like this in my home, you're done. Yeah, you're done. But then again, like, how do you bring it up? Nonchalantly. I don't know. You don't. It's I guess it's also not your house. I don't know. It's hard. And like so many people are like, girl, in this economy, do what you want in that room. Just pay me, LOL. Like so many people are coming from a place of like, you're getting paid $32 now or like just find something else to do with your time. Yeah. Like again, I don't even care if the baby's napping, but the baby in the stroller. It can now. Here's what you do. You look at the other job listings for a nanny and you go, okay, this one pays 20 an hour. I probably want to hear sex or 32 an hour. And I might have to hear someone comfortable stuff for about four to eight minutes. It's not long. It is interesting now. We do get one last kind of brief update. They did text the nanny mom trying to get their job back. Nanny mom responded that she forgives me and that she hopes I take this as a learning experience, but they won't hire me back. I miss her so much. She said she talked to her husband about everything and they decided to give me a month's pay until I find a new job. It ends up being $5,200. Yeah. Like she really blew a great gig. Like what is that math on the year? Mom. You're really quick with this actual puns. You know, almost 65 K. 65 K. I think for what this nanny does is she just Googles every private school in the area and just hangs out upfront. Hey, do you need more time for you and your husband and the intimate? I charged 32 an hour for you guys to do whatever the hell you want upstairs. I want to ask was yeah, I'll bring the AirPods, the pros, they cancel out the sound. Sony baby. Yeah. Opie does go on to say to be honest, maybe a part of the problem was that I was a little jealous of her. Oh, interesting. She's a stay-at-home mom beautiful only 28 rich has this gorgeous home and her and her husband are truly happy. The mom was 28? Oh, well, yeah, well, wasn't the babysitter also 28? That's where the jealousy was. She's such a good mom and it just felt like she had this perfect life, her dream life and I'm the same age and I think that made me feel small in ways that I didn't even realize at the time. I hated meeting that, but it's true. Damn. Now I just feel so lost. I miss them so much. I keep wishing I could go back and do things differently. I know I can't, but I still hope one day I can find a family even half as good as them. I don't know if I should try to reach now again down the road or just accept that it's over and move on. Part of me wants to hold on to hope, but part of me knows that I need to respect their decision. Any advice on what I can do to maybe get them back or should I just leave it and start fresh? I think she's really debating. It sounds like she was really close with the mom because of the same age. It sounded like just like a friend. I was like, I think they could still be friend, just be friends with her. She's like a permanent third wheel. They should all go out to dinner and just not talk because not at once that she mentioned, she misses like, well, maybe she does. I don't know. She doesn't mention like she misses the child. She's like, I miss the mom. I miss the mom. I think her in the mom. I'm going to be like, same friends. You guys get all go out to eat together. She does say I miss my nanny baby so much. I'm kind of paraphrasing a little bit. I can't believe I won't be going back. It breaks my heart because they were such a big part of my life. It's really it sucks. It's a tough tough lesson to learn. But given all that, like, I guess for me, I always make decisions kind of like that risk analysis. Why didn't you consider all this that you might get fired? Like if you love them so much, like, didn't you kind of have it in your head? It's probably like impulsive when she was deciding to have a conversation. Probably just happened. I was like, hey, did you and your husband just, but then again, I've also been on her side where it's like, there's something just on my mind, on my mind, on my mind. It's like, I'm one sentence away from letting that out, you know, or like one more scenario. She was probably thinking about it and then like that Friday or whatever day it was, the husband and wife go up there and you're like, I just got to say something. Or she like overvaluated their closeness. Like she thought they were like a lot closer than they actually were. And like the boundaries and lines kind of got blurred for her. Almost like to your example, you said I understand that you're like mother-in-laws. Like, hey, I'm a part of the family. It's where you guys do that. And they're like, you're an employee. Yeah. No, and that's like a good, I think like I'm thinking about that too with the holidays coming up. It's like, there have been stories where like in laws are like no sex under our roof. And it's like, well, we're here for two weeks. We got to go to a red roof fan or something. Come on. Yeah, I remember when I was younger, my sister brother first boyfriend home from like college or like right out of college or something. And like he had to sleep and like it was very like, my parents like very cookie cutter clean. Like, all right, I forget his name because this is a couple of acts of yours. You sleep on the couch and my sister, you're in your room and it just makes the dynamic weird. Almost probably makes people want to like do the opposite. Yeah. Yeah. My mom was the same way. I snuck downstairs on that couch. Yeah, there you go. Like it just, I mean, if people are gonna have sex, they're gonna find, like they're gonna find a way. If there's a will, there's a way. It is just interesting and it doesn't make it like right by any means, but I guess it isn't taking to account. If you are being a nanny, you are freeing up the parents time. Yeah. So parents can do work, but it also frees up time for what they don't have because the second you leave, the kids like, mama, dad, I want to hang out. And they're like, we just finish work. Yeah. We got to go move a couch upstairs. I know. It's not great, but yeah, I just want to tell anybody that like, it's good money because it's still if it if it doesn't align with you, then it doesn't align with you. Exactly. Whatever is whatever, you know, you can live like it is really tricky. And when you think about it in that way where it's like in a traditional job setting, boss could not have sex in their office during lunch break. So if you do look at it that way, you're like, it's not necessarily right. But it was just bizarre because like, let's say they were on a like a townhouse where there's three stories and kids on the bottom, no, on the top of you don't hear anything, then you don't have the news. It's only because there was the thought that it was heard a little bit. I know. But then like a lot of people were like, why are you listening so intently? Like why are you trying to hear them and catch them? I think it's almost like, she's like curiosity, you know, it's like in every scary movie, you hear a leaf outside and like, we got to see what it is. Oh my god. You hear like one like, you know, spring in the matches and like, hold on. It's also sex of the husband's hot too. I mean, she kind of came clean with it at the end. She's like, I'm jealous. She's got the life I want. And so maybe that was the real issue, which is a little creepy. It is a little creepy. But self-awareness first step to healing maybe overall, it's about her. She's not there anymore. And she can be friends with them and she wants, but she got the answer she was looking for. Yeah. And instead of the parents lying. Very true. Okay. I'm gonna give you a choice. Do you want that breastfeeding story to end with? Yeah. Okay. So last one you guys, it does get a little weird. Some of the comments kind of, I don't know, they mentioned like this is very inappropriate. I'm not a parent. I don't know what's appropriate or inappropriate. Jam. Furnate your old. So proceed with with care. And if you can't, thank you so much for being here and enjoying this episode with us and see you next week. But this one. But if you're long for the ride, here we go. So this is coming from off my chest eight days old, titled, I caught my boyfriend. I caught my boyfriend's stepmom breastfeeding her eight year old. Okay. Hold on. Let's work this backwards. Your boyfriend's stepmom breastfeeding an eight year old. This happened a week ago and it is still making me sick. At our joint family Thanksgiving, we do this to save time, knock it out one day. I was sitting with my boyfriend, his dad, my dad, his stepmom, and her eight year old daughter. The daughter starts to complain to her mom that she's hungry. So I offered to take her to the kitchen to make her a plate since I was going in there anyways to refill my drink. The daughter started yelling and said, no, I want mommies. So I thought that she meant the dish that her mom brought. So I said, Lila, not her real name, we can go get something on a plate and then bring it back here so you can eat it with your mommy. She's very attached to her mom. Then the stepmom size and then takes her into the guest room, which I assume is to correct her behavior for yelling. My mom used to do that. Yeah. I get a plate of the casserole her mom brought and go to take it into the guest room where the stepmom and daughter are and I knock. The stepmom said, come in. So I did and saw her fully breastfeeding her daughter like she was a baby. Who come in? No. Like holding her in her lap and saying things like, good, good, is it yummy? I out loud go, what the fuck? True. And so my boyfriend comes over and has the same reaction. I just shut the door, try not to be sick because there's no way that the stepmom is lactating. She even told us before that she couldn't breastfeed when she had her other daughter. So this whole thing just makes me sick. I always noticed that she babyed eight-year-old but never thought that she would go this far. My boyfriend and I immediately said that we're cutting the night short and politely asked everyone to leave. So everyone leaves and the stepmom pulls me aside before she leaves with my boyfriend's dad and other daughter and said, you have no right to judge me. She was hungry. Thinking about this still makes me nauseous. My boyfriend was equally disgusted and decided to go low contact with them after this incident. He made the call that they are not allowed back in our home. I'm literally shaking as I write this because it is so disturbing and gross. Has nobody heard of way protein? Has anybody heard of like, oh, you're hungry? Let me whip up a protein shake real quick. Well, like I first thing I googled is, quote, how old should you stop breastfeeding your child? Yeah. I think when they can start asking, mama, milky, you're done. Let's say you know my name. Get off. If they're coming up to run up to being like, boob-beat? No. Yeah. No. I'm hungry is like such a full sense of like, okay, well, let's get some moths for you. Yeah. No applesauce. I don't know. Like Google says, when it feels right, so it's up to each parent obviously often between 12 months and three years. Okay. So they're way out of the range. They're kids are talking at three. They're like really talking. Kids are potty trained at three. Are you in a grade at a three? What are you in first, second, at three, eight, oh, eight. Second grade. Yeah, that's crazy. Right? Kindergarten. You're like five. First grade, you're six, seven. I don't even pack a lunch. Just peanut butter and jelly and breast milk. It feels disgusting. To me, I'm sorry. It feels fucking disgusting. Eight years old. No. No. No. It feels like that. Yeah, that's because when, when would that stop? When would the kid be like, hey, actually, this is weird. It feels a little bit like, um, we're, we're getting a dangerous territory right now. But it feels a little bit like that that munchounds in syndrome where they're like, yes, you need me. You need me to give you nutrients. Yeah. I need a microwave. You're on it. Okay. Okay. Cause I don't want to start pointing fingers and saying like, but that feels like the mom is using them to and how defensive she got to be. My daughter needed me. You know, you can't judge this. Well, you know, we can't, but the internet can. You're insane. Well, and it's hard because like, OP added the line. Like, I don't think she's lactating. But yet the mom was like, it's just like a goger and extra nipple. I don't know. But the mom was like, she was hungry, which it's like, oh, she was hungry. So you fed her. So it makes me think she is lactating. Right. So it's like, there, maybe like, maybe this writer doesn't really understand or maybe there's been something said in the past, but like, it's kind of confusing. Because it's like, is she genuinely breastfeeding or is this like going down a really actually dark, dark line and kind of getting into like, essay, like child abuse? Yeah, I would really hope she's breastfeeding. Rose, what is, otherwise call CPS. Call CPS, call 911, call animal control call everybody. Get somebody, get, get somebody on the horn. That's why I was so scared. I was like, I don't know if I should read this one. Well, I, what, what are the comments saying? And, and, you know, I'm thinking very much here in the, the, the reality of how bizarre it is. But listen, there's thousands of jokes. I mean, you don't have to hold an eight year old's tall enough to just walk out and be like, put it in. I know. You don't have to cradle that thing. She threw a tantrum to get the tit. When you're throwing, I've been there before. Like, I know toddlers do it, but like, eight, eight, if she can write in cursive, she shouldn't be breastfeeding. If you know your own name, you're done. What's your name? Trevor. Goodbye. We're put it in a bottle and be like, oh, wow, it's, it's vanilla way protein extract. And the fact that they even said, yeah, come in, like she was doing something normal. I know. I think this lady's a little deranged. And I don't think the kid, the eight year old knows how bizarre it is. No, top comment. You know what? This post is a nice reminder to stop procrastinating when I have things to do. If I hadn't procrastinated, then I likely wouldn't have seen this. Someone goes, right, time to do my laundry. Totally get that feeling. Some posts are wild enough to snap you right back to your to-do list. Well, that is enough of Reddit today. How long enough? A lot of people that do leave, like, actual comments about the post. They say her daughter is so fucking stunted. Oh my god. She should be judged for this shit. An eight year old should not be breastfeeding. Okay. I'm glad the internet is taking that stance instead of being like, well, some people hate differently. There are people that share similar experiences in the comments, too. Someone goes, so actually my mother-in-law was a part of a Laleche League. And my hubby's ex-wife breastfed their child until he was six. Laleche League. I don't know. We're googling. Spanish Laleche is milk. Yeah. It helps breastfeeding mothers and parents worldwide with support education and encouragement. So maybe some leagues they encourage you to breastfeed as long as you can. I'm not sure. That's just kind of what I'm gathering from other posts. But, um, it is unreal. That is far too long for someone that does not have a child. So take that with a grain of salt. But I mean, god, those poor nipples must be eight years of that. From what I've heard, it does not feel good. It is a bite down for eight years. I saw a post somewhere recently that this woman got her nipple bit off from her kid breastfeeding. God, I'm the must've been hungry. Took a chunk. Yikes. Well, I'm glad the internet was on our side on this because it's always where when you read something in that vein and you're like, God, it's like sometimes I'll read Instagram or I'll watch a video on Instagram. But like, yeah, this person's such an idiot loser in the comments. I'm like, you are love this. And I'm like, wait, am I the bad guy? Yeah, I think somebody got me. I know. I think that a lot. I'm just sitting here. I'm a little stunned. I'm a little shell shocked. But I know I like I did this to us. So sorry, everyone. But you didn't give a nice warning before. Hey, this is a wild ride. I tried. This is like the n-scene credits. You know, roll the credits. I know. If you want something a little maybe more chipper and just, you know, funny no trauma, go check out Trevor's podcast. Hey, where can they find you? My podcast is called stiff socks. We have an episode on here years ago with Michael and I. And then I'm just on tour. I'm all over the world right now. I'm doing like 30 more shows and 30. Yeah. And then I'm filming a special in Phoenix in March. So very fun. Excited sub Trevor walls, comfort tickets. And then I'm always just posting sketches and funny stuff on the all cross on my specials. I'm going to be on. I love it. It's great. It's one of my favorite. If not my favorite comedy towns. They get rowdy. They get rowdy. It's close. They know all the references. They're just they're down in party and they're great. So if you're in Phoenix, you want to snack some tickets. If there's if there's any love. Yeah, tickets, tickets went on sale. The legal one sell tomorrow. And this is already going to be out. So check the website. Trevor walls.com. So I think we're going to add some shows for that. There we go. All of Trevor's links will be in the description. Super easy to find. Check out his podcast. Check out everything, especially those live shows. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me back. All is so fun. Open invite anytime. Yeah. Maybe feel better about the world. They're reading some of these some of these stories. Do you feel better about like your yeah, like guyness too? You're like I'm a good guy. Because a lot of that felt like very young in a mature like the guys were writing it or we're being written in about like how they're mature and how they handle stuff. And I go, I would never handle something like that. And I go, oh, that's good. Yeah. Because like a 21 year old version. Yeah. I don't want her in my fantasy league. And now I'm like, well, you shouldn't allow it. That's gross development. Yeah. Development. If you were a mature guy and you heard this, do you think it would get the wheels turning or do you think they'd get defensive? Do you think they might not be ready yet? Why would you? How do you think any mature guy would respond to the stories today? Would they feel attacked? I don't think they would feel attacked. I think they would see where they could have coached that guy. And they wish that guy could have been their friends. They could have told them like, hey, maybe don't approach like this. Don't approach like that. Okay. I like some some some some some sideline coaching. Like that. But you know, we want to create a safe space. Don't we do? We do. And you know, it sounds like a lot of the guys were like, not all of them, but they were like younger 20s. And that's like, it's not a guy's best years. Every guy's that's the peak years. You're dumb. You're dumb guy. Wait till you're 26. Your pay and taxes. And you don't have your family insurance plan anymore. Oh, that's when you become a man. That hurt. That hurt. You know what? And for the last thing I'll say on here, if you're a dude, go play some Sims and realize how fun it can be. Yeah. And just you forget about the pain in life. Go play the Sims. Yeah. Get some hobbies. Get a hobby. Play a game. That's all she wrote. Thank you guys. And until next time, bye. Thank you for having me.