Age Like a Girl Part 1: The Real Purpose of Menopause

If you are somewhere in your 40s, 50s, 60s are beyond, and you felt like your body is changing, your brain is foggy, your moods are all over the place. Here's what I want you to know. You are not alone. So many of us experience this as we move into our postmenopausal years. So for starters, you're not broken. Just keep in mind that because you're going through a transformation and like any phenomenal transformation, it's really important to have a guide, not guesswork. So this is why I created what I call my reset academy. It's a really cool group of online women from all over the world where we come together to learn how to fast for hormones, how to eat for our brain, how to understand the behavioral changes that are going on with us, and to really give women an opportunity to feel at home in both their bodies and their brains again. In the reset academy, we do many live calls, we do lots of challenges together, we have monthly programs, and you have an incredible community that is built not only from me and my team of coaches, but from women who have been in the academy for years that have read my books, done my videos, listened to my podcast, and are working on making themselves the best version they can possibly be. So if you're looking for that community support, if you're wanting to lean into more knowledge, get off of the socials and into a really cool live community, come join me inside my reset academy. You can go to resetacademy.dotdoctormidipels.com and find all the ways you can sign up there. I will tell you my absolute favorite thing we do in this community are the Saturday morning coffee chats where two Saturdays a month you will find me not only working out with you all, but leading you through whatever is burning on my heart and opening up community discussion around how as women we can use our metapuzzle experience to come together and how we can use it to not only better ourselves, but better everyone around us. So excited to see you inside my reset academy. Welcome to the resetter podcast where I challenge you to rethink aging, hormones, and health through a new lens, a very exciting lens I promise. In today's episode, I'm sharing the deeper story behind my new book, Age Like A Girl, a 10 year project. I have literally been researching this book for more than a decade and writing it for the past three years. This is a conversation around one question. What is the purpose of metapuzz? Why do our bodies stay alive despite a major organ system shutting down? And so in Age Like A Girl, we'll explore what other species can teach us, how the female brain remodels during hormonal change, and why this transition is not a breakdown, but a biological design for your next evolution. You'll hear how our brains shift from cross referenced, a more relational brain, to a lateral, more independent thinking brain. You'll also hear what that means for letting go of the people pleasing habits that may have tethered you to a lot of stress, and why this phase is your invitation to become the most authentic version of yourself. So if you've ever wondered what metapuzzles preparing you for, this is the episode for you. Let's dive in. So I'm super excited to chat with you all today about my new book, Age Like A Girl. I have been talking about this not only on my podcast, but also on my YouTube channel with my reset academy members, the material that went into this book. I've been studying for the last 10 years, and I've been writing and researching this book very intimately for the last three years, and then in the last six months, I literally sequestered myself and hunkered down and put all my thoughts on depages, and the book is called Age Like A Girl, and it is coming out on December 16th. And so what I'm going to do in this episode is we're going to talk about what's in the book. I'm going to give you a little preview. And some of the stuff I'm really, really excited to bring forth to the culture so we can talk about it. We can have these deep discussions and sort of open up a really different way of looking at metapuzz since 1.2 billion women by 2030 are going to be in metapuzz. I really have always stood for teaching women how to think on their own, not fall prey to social media, not fall prey to a doctor, a friend, we constantly outsource our health. And hopefully those of you that were fans of fast like a girl and eat like a girl and listen to my podcast and my YouTube understand that at the heart of everything I'm teaching you is how to be an advocate for yourself, how to make smart decisions for yourself. So I'm going to go through Age Like A Girl and it is chunked down into three sections. So three parts. Part one is a question that I desperately have been trying to answer, which is what is the purpose of metapuzz. Now that might not seem like the most earth shattering question, but I want to tell you when you look into what other species do, females in other species do not live long past their reproductive cycle. So when their reproductive cycle ends they end. Now in the mammal world, we have examples of like the orca whales. There's a couple of different types of whales that actually live long like we do post-menopausal. And these whales exhibit very similar traits to each other. And as you'll learn throughout this episode that these whales actually take their post-menopausal women and they put them into a place of leadership. When I started to ask this question of what's the purpose of metapuzz for a human, what I started to do or started to see our evolutionary explanations like the grandmother hypothesis, which we'll talk about whether you're a fan or not a fan or you know anything about it, I'm going to give you a modern day version of it. And what did the hunter and gathers are primal ancestors do with this metapuzzle moment? I started to look at things like Lisa Mascone's work. Her the metapuzz brain came out and I interviewed her on my podcast and I learned some really interesting things about how the brain remodels itself at massive moments of hormonal change. And so I started diving to the research on well what are these hormonal change? What is the brain remodel? What is the hormones that are initiating this change? So I'll go through that with you. I then found the work of a feminist psychologist her name is Carol Giligan who studied women back or girls back in the 1980s and discovered that girls when our hormones come in that girls actually that is the beginning of what we call a cross referenced brain. That estrogen actually stimulates both hemispheres of our brain right and left brain. And so once estrogen comes in what we end up doing is making decisions from both of a relational and emotional place and a logical place and sit with me. I'm going to go through this in a moment because Carol Giligan's work really tells us how society has trained us to be good. How society has trained us to tell us when we're worthy or not worthy. And one of the big things I discovered in this obsession of mine to understand what the purpose of metapuzz was is I discovered that there's so many of us who hit our post metapuzzle years and we do not care anymore, which is why a lot of you are seeing this. We do not care clubs showing up everywhere. Well, I have a little secret for you. You're not designed to care. And the only reason you cared in the first place is because you were drugged on estrogen. More on that in a moment. Estrogen came in, made your brain this cross referenced relational brain. And when estrogen goes out, you go to more of what we call a lateralized brain where you're either operating from emotion or you're operating from logic. We can move back and forth between the hemispheres a lot easier without estrogen, which also means that many of the traits and behaviors and things that we took on when we were younger and we had estrogen and we were drugged on estrogen. When we had estrogen pulsing through our body, we made decisions that were often for everybody else's benefit but around. And I know a lot. I gave this talk that you're receiving right now at my at a retreat a couple of weeks ago and 150 women in the room and every woman was like, yep, when I hit my post metapuzzle years, I stopped putting everybody else's needs ahead of my own. And that is really the work of Carol Gilligan that showing us that society told us if to be good, to be worthy, we needed to act and behave and look a certain way. So we'll dive into that. And then the fourth lens in which I started to look at metapuzz was through a more mystical spiritual level, which I of course had to go and look at Clarissa Pinkola Estus and her work with women who run with wolves. And she has a great book called The Power of the Crown. And she has something called the life death life cycle where when we look at the a female's life, we're meant to live our life a certain way and then parts that life die. And then all of a sudden we live life a new, which is why you see statistics like 70% of divorces are initiated by women after 50. Women are killing the most common time for women to kill themselves is between 45 and 55. And so there is this awakening that's happening as we move into those post metapuzzle years that we're not naming, we're not talking about. And so in age like a girl, I wanted to bring that forth and say, hey, post menopause, menopause in general, moving us to those post menopausele years, it is a combination of an evolutionary design, a neuroscience design, a societal design change and a mystical one. And I brought those four lenses together to answer this question, what's the purpose of menopause? So in part one of the book, that's all those four people's brilliance and how it relates to menopause. So I'll be discussing that today on this episode. Middle section, part two of the book, whoo, this is the monster part to write, because once I ended up down the rabbit hole of understanding estrogen, who really saw that estrogen acts on a lot of other neurochemicals in our body, that estrogen I like to think of hers is the diva. She yes, she was, she came in, she released an egg, she went and bathed so many parts of your body, she helped give you collagen, she bathed your brain so you can think right, like she had, she was a busy hormone. And when she leaves, she actually leaves this huge neurochemical hole. So estrogen stimulated over 12 neurochemicals. I called them estrogen's girl gang. And I think those of you have been following me for a while, you've been listening to this, you've been hearing it. And what I want to show you and talk about, and what I wrote about in part two of age like a girl, was that these neurochemicals, I call them the neurochemical armors, like they start to shed. But you can bring them back with your lifestyle. You can use your lifestyle to fill in these neurochemicals if you understand what they are. So I'm going to talk about that with you today and that's part two of the book. And then part three of the book is really the transformational process. I spent a lot of time looking at Joseph Campbell's hero's journey. I looked at Clarissa Pincolas journey of the life death, life cycle. And then I looked at what is change, what is transformation, what is grief, what is resilience, what's that interknowing that we get, what is happening in the brain when we are experiencing these different parts of a transformational journey. And so in part three, I break down a transformational journey so that I can really show you what it means to transform and how you go about it and why it's so important. It is so important for your evolution. You were not meant to fade away in your post-menopausal years. I promise you. Once you hear what I have to say and once you get this book in your hand, I think you're going to see that what menopause is setting us up for something incredibly brilliant that's going to occur in our life. And I like thinking of it like this. My hope with this podcast, with my YouTube videos, with my book is that you see what's right with menopause. Not what's wrong with it because there is a it is a transformational moment that is working in your favor. And I know some of you are in those paramedicosal years and it doesn't feel like that. Sit tight. I'm going to help you see that. I also know a lot of women post-menopausally feel like they got tossed aside. They also feel frustrated that they didn't get the option of HRT. We'll talk about that. And I also have met with a lot of 30-year-olds that at once the menopausal conversation started, they were like, oh, I'm a little nervous about this menopause thing. It's like when we weren't talking about it, it was easier to ignore that it was coming down the road. And now what I'm hearing is a lot of women in their late 30s say, how can I prepare? How do I get ready for this moment? So we're going to bring that all together. This is in age like a girl. In massive detail, one of the things I'm the most proud of with age like a girl is I have over 400 peer-reviewed citations of studies backing up what I discovered in there. For the sake of this conversation, I'm going to give you highlights. Please go prior to the book and it will be in your hands in December. It'll be there in time for Christmas. So it's a great present. But most importantly, the purpose behind age like a girl is really to change the conversation, to elevate the menopause conversation so that you understand how powerful you are. Just like FASSEC a girl taught you how powerful you can be over your metabolism. I want you to understand through this podcast, through my videos, through this book, how powerful you are meant to be moving through this process we call menopause. Okay? So with that in mind, thank you for letting me ramble here in the beginning. Let's dive in to this question that I have been asking myself. What is the purpose of menopause? So the first thing I want you to know is the body does not do anything by mistake. Everything, it's like nature. Everything has an order to it even though it doesn't look like it. So if there was a reason we stay 42.5% of our life, post-reproductively, if there's a reason for that, we should probably know that. If you're going to spend over 40% of your life in your post-reproductive years, don't you want to know what's happening and where you're going? So when we look at it through this lens and we look at it through the lens that the body never does anything by mistake, I really went searching for experts to help me understand this process. And those of you who listen to me on my podcast know I brought a lot of these experts on to really help us all understand this moment. In the last couple of years, as I've been interviewing these experts, one of the things that I noticed was we all can't agree on the menopausal process. So know that right up front that you're hearing me on this podcast or maybe you're watching this on YouTube and it might click for you or make sense for you and then you'll go and hear an expert say something different. I'm here to give you information so that you make decisions for yourself. Many of the experts right now believe that all we need to do with menopause is do more hormone replacement therapy. I am not opposed to hormone replacement therapy on the resetter podcast. I'm bringing several what may look like conflicting opinions, but I really think that hormone replacement is a very personal decision and you have to decide what fits right for you. And I don't think there's a one size fits all. There's a learning curve to find your best hormone replacement therapy. So know that. I also, Mary Claire Haver and I talked about this on the resetter podcast. Hormone replacement therapy does not give you a free pass from lifestyle. So if you put a patch on and your hemoglobin A1C is up at 5.7, that patch may not be as effective or you might not notice the changes hormonally as much as if somebody puts the patch on that has a hemoglobin A1C of 4.7 showing that they're metabolically healthy. So many as a high toxic load, something I talk about in age like a girl, I walk through different toxins. A lot of heavy metals, a lot of plastics in your body. If I give you a pellet or I give you some cream, that doesn't mean that you're going to all the sudden have this instantaneous happiness that kicks in and that your menopausal journey changes. Somebody who's a complete rushing woman who is so frazzled and doesn't even know have access to her parasympathetic nervous system, she may have a little more of a downside to her hormone replacement because her life is out of congruency with how her feminine body with what it needs and how it needs rest. So this is why I will continue to hold the line of lifestyle and in age like a girl there's lifestyle all over it giving you I really simple free things you can do. But in this quest answer what is the purpose of menopause? In just the three years I've been writing this book, the conversation has changed dramatically and we've gone from this hush to this chaos where everybody's giving you advice. So again I want to remind you as I go through this podcast as I go through the YouTube videos that if you're watching this it's you are the boss of your own health. You are the one that makes that decision for you. So you listen to the podcast like this so that you can become educated so that you can walk into your doctor's office so you can have a collaborative conversation around what's best for you. So I really just I want to keep putting that forward that this is your decision. I'm just opening up another part of the conversation that hasn't been getting enough oxygen. So here's an interesting thought. Why would your body shut down a major organ system? Like think about that you know we didn't it's not like we have mistaken parts of our body. Why would the body like shut that down? And why in the shutting down of this organ system? Why are we seeing the rest of these neurochemicals go and why are we seeing this massive brain change where we go from a cross reference brain to a lateral brain? Why is all of that happening? And I will tell you as I go through these four experts that I looked at and these four theories I looked at I will tell you that the number one reason is because your body is preparing you to change. You are shedding old identities that no longer fit you. You are letting go of people pleasing. You are are done with the time of your life where you thought about everybody else and you're stepping into a new version of you. So new versions need new environments. And so there is the reason the body shut the organ system down is so that you can change. You can transform into something new. If it didn't want you, if the human body and whoever made us, depending on your belief systems, if it wanted you to stay the same, it would have kept you in the reproductive cycle. But it literally shut down a whole organ system and it made this massive change to your brain. It changed your neurochemicals so that you can change. What you're going to hear throughout this whole series is that depression, anxiety, irritability, is it possible that these things are showing up because you are resisting this moment that was meant for you to change into something new. In age like a girl, I talk a lot about old identities, new identities. I use the very overused metaphor, but I give it some new life of the caterpillar going into the butterfly. And we're going to talk about this as we go through this series because there's something magical that happens to the caterpillar that makes it turn into a butterfly. So stay tuned. I want to go through that because we need resistance. We need to push against this change for a short moment in order to launch into this new version of us. The other thing I just want to point out is that when I've looked into the anthropology, so when I looked back into the grandmother hypothesis, when I looked at anthropologists that have been trying to map this menopausal moment to our primal hunter-gatherer days, there is a consensus that there are three aspects of our life that we get back. We get fitness back. Hold on, I know you're like, what? I get fitness back. We get cognition back. Wait, what? We're supposed to actually be more cognitively brilliant in our postmenopausal years. Yep, I know that's not the message you've been getting. And we are meant to be collaborators and leaders together with other postmenopausal women. Now, they call it a renewed energy that the energy it took to actually release an egg every month. All of that energy gets put back at you. Like, your body gives you that energy back, which is why you can get in better shape. You can use your days instead of focusing it on kids, perhaps, you're focusing it on fitness. This is why you see people like Michelle Obama and Jane Fonda. And I mean, so many postmenopausal women that just change their careers or come into their career because they have renewed energy. They have renewed purpose. They have renewed cognition. And that was by design. So you're going to hear me talk a lot about the shedding of the old and the stepping into the new. Now, I want to introduce you to the grandmother hypothesis. It is a hypothesis that has been going around for a while in the menopausal circles. Some people love it. Some people don't. I'll tell you what I think about it and what it tells us. We are living in primal bodies. I just want to say that. The human body has not changed much since the hunter and gather days. But we don't live in a primal hunter ancestral world. We live in a modern world. So we need to look at the grandmother hypothesis through a modern lens. So when I dove into this hypothesis, I actually brought the Christian Hawks, the anthropologist who has been studying this for many years. She actually found a tribe in Tanzania called the Hadsatrib. And the Hadsatrib still exhibit this grandmother hypothesis. And what she discovered was that when you looked at tribe life, now I know this isn't modern day life, sit tight with me for a moment, what happened around the tribe in cave life. Let's call it that. What we saw was that the very robust strong members of the clan went off to go for an animal kill. So these were usually the alpha men. These were many of the men, most of the men. These were also your grandfathers. I get asked this question all the time. Most there were the grandfathers and they were some of the strong grandmothers. Actually, some of the grandmothers went out with them. There's interesting, there's some interesting research showing this renewed fitness actually made them great hunt big animal hunters. So a whole group went off to make the big animal kill. They only came back to the tribe with an animal kill for food three percent of the time. That's one day out of a month. So they were really successful all the time. But of course, when they came back, it was a party and a celebration. But somebody had to keep the tribe alive while they were off looking for this big animal kill. So back at the cave, you had several people that might be able to do that. One was the fertile woman. But she's either pregnant or nursing was her job or these the babies are the little toddlers. They don't make good foragers of food or hunters by any means. Their job, you know, babies weren't big enough, but the fertile reproductive woman was birthing and having babies. That was her job back in those primal days. So the only person left to go find food while they waited for the big animal kill was the grandmother. So the grandmother every single day would go out seven hours a day. The grandmothers gathered around the tribe and they went out. They took some of the kids with them that maybe were a little bit older and they went out on a seven hour trek every single day to find food. And most of that food was plant-based. This is important because a lot of you asked me, well, what should I be eating in my post-menopausal years? I'm going to explain it to you in a moment. So seven hours, by the way, in a fasted state, we're going to come back to that. And then they would find mostly tubers they found. They also found a lot of berries and a few other plants, but there's a lot of stories around them finding tubers, which required that they had to squat down, dig in the dirt, and pull these tubers up. Now they gathered at the cave every morning at the crack of dawn to do this as a collective group. They went out as a group of women that were like, we're, we got to feed the women. We've got to feed the babies. We got to feed the toddlers. They had a purpose. And every day they would go out collectively together. Now this to me, if we want to put a modern day lens on on this group of grandmother that went out, the the Okinawa women, they formed Moais where when they get into their post-reproductive years, they gather together and the village and the town looks at them as these wise elders. And they create these Moais where they share resources, sometimes it's food, sometimes it's housing, sometimes it's emotional support. But they intuitively they are modern day examples of the grandmother hypothesis where they come together in a collective collaborative way to benefit all of them. Now interesting enough, I just want to point out I'm not and again, I am not a anti HRT. I think it's a personal decision, but I do have a question if our we are at an evolutionary mismatch in the Western world, which is why we were frazzled our our nervous systems are totally dysregulated. We're eating the wrong foods. We're not gathering with other women. There's so many pieces we don't do that look like the Okinawa women. And the Okinawa women that women in Japan only use HRT 5% at the time. They've the longest living seniors in out of any country in the world. They have so many centarians in Japan and there's so many reasons for that and they aren't using HRT. So is it possible that there is something in their lifestyle that is showing this modern day version of this grandmother hypothesis and it's in these Moise that they're forming. So just just filing that away here. So we know evolutionary wise that we are meant to progress from a place of fertility reproduction, you know, caring for the kids, the current making babies into a new place of leadership. In fact, Lisa Moscone says that we as a species would not be here if it wasn't for the grandmother because the grandmother kept everybody alive because she was the one finding food. So really interesting thought that we're meant to move into a place of leadership. Now, doesn't mean you're running for office or, you know, leading, you know, you know, becoming the the the highest member of your church or anything like that. Leadership can look a lot in different ways. It could look like you're leading yourself differently. It could look like maybe you're leading your family differently. If you have a family, it could look like you're leading your community. You could be leading by example. But my my prayer for this book is that you all will read this and see the evolutionary heroines that you were designed to be. And instead of fearing that you will be tossed aside, you will be excited that you were meant to step into a place of leadership. That is what menopause is preparing you for to stop caring for you to stand in your own authentic identity. That is that is your evolutionary design. Now, the second thing, the Lisa Masconey understanding, the neuroscience understanding of this moment, Lisa told me you can hear it here on this podcast. Lisa told me there are three major times that the brain remodels itself. And they're all built around these changes in hormones. The first is teenagers that when estrogen comes in, that all the sudden we have neurons that prune away and make it so that we aren't dependent upon somebody. Because what's the next phase for a teenager? You're not raising. Hopefully those of you that raised kids. You didn't raise children. You raised adults. You were raising them to be successful in their adult life. And so when a woman's a girl's period comes in, she now needs to know how to stand on her own two feet. So Lisa says what happens is it's this influx of hormones that actually cause the dependent neurons to shed and the independent neurons to start growing so you can stand on your own two feet. Anybody who has a teenage daughter knows how that feels to be on the receiving end of a teenage girl who no longer needs you. Because she wasn't designed to need you anymore. That was her evolutionary design. That was what was supposed to happen during her teenage years. Then we know that post-partum after you deliver a baby, you don't need. Your brain doesn't need those neurons to tell you your task list and help you remember your to-do list or help you remember where your keys are. Your brain needs to have the highly intuitive sense so that it can read the baby's clues because your baby doesn't speak. So your intuition needs to kick in. You need to know when your baby needs a diaper change or your baby needs food. So the brain reorganizes itself as the hormones drop after you've been pregnant and neurons that help you remember where your keys are go out the window and neurons that tell you what your baby needs start growing. These are two designs of the female body that we cannot turn away from. This is this is neuroscience which leads us to the third design where those neurons that kept you attached to what people think about that kept you pleasing and doing for everybody else. Those have to go away. They have to go away because you were designed for leadership. You were designed for authenticity. You were designed to finally live life on your terms in your way. So the modern design of menopause is an old neurons that kept you tethered to the wants and desires of everybody else including society's desire and allows you to step into your own desire and your own path and your own brilliance. That is your design of menopause. You're not meant to fade away. I'm keep telling you this over and over again. This ties in to Carol Gilligan's work where when estrogen came in all the sun we were well what do you want. In fact Carol Gilligan's work is really interesting the way I like to explain it after studying it for a while is she looked at both boys and girls and this is the 1980s for those of you who grew up in the 80s. She looked at both boys and girls and she saw that if you ask them both a question at nine you would get a very direct answer. So if you ask them a question like what do you want to eat and you ask a boy and a girl then they would say I want this both of them. At 11 the boy stays very certain. I want this and the girl is like I think I want this. By the time she hits 13 and her hormones are fully in the boy will tell you I want this and the girl will say well what do you eat. She had her relational brain came in. She has making decisions through the lens of making sure she's keeping the peace. She's pleasing. She stays worthy. I can't tell you how many women in my clinical practice I sat with that had beautiful lives on paper that told me they didn't feel like they were now. I can't tell you how many how many speeches I've given keynotes that I've given where I ask how many women to honestly tell me how they they have they felt like they were not enough in their life and like every single hand goes up. So what we know from her work is when estrogen came in we started to change our behavior to please and yet when estrogen goes out nobody's studying this yet but when estrogen goes out we no longer care about pleasing you which is why you're seeing things like this do not care club just take over the internet take over socials because it resonates with so many women and you were not designed to care you were designed to step into a new purpose that leaves caring behind that leaves everybody else's agenda for you behind so that you can step into this place of cultural leadership which we'll we'll talk about here in a moment. I also found some really interesting research showing this connection between estrogen and these other neurochemicals so when estrogen came in every single month when you had a cycle she peaked around somewhere between day 10 and day 15 when she peaked what we know is that she brought with her some key neurochemicals so let me teach you look it in terms of the menstrual cycle so between day 10 and day 15 one of the hormones that peaked two days before estrogen peaked was oxytocin why would oxytocin come in when an egg was about to be released so that you felt like connecting you felt like bonding so that the species could continue forward that's huge oxy you got a huge oxytocin rush you also got a whole shot of melatonin two couple of days before estrogen peaked because estrogen you needed more sleep so your body knew how to regulate your circadian rhythm so that you could have more melatonin we also know at the front half of your cycle you had estrogen stimulated dopamine and acetylcholine and serotonin so dopamine and serotonin are those neurotransmitters that kept you happy and acetylcholine kept your memory strong glutamate kept you focused bdnf helped you grab new information collagen and creatine estrogen stimulated collagen and creatine which which allowed for your joints to stay in good shape so that you didn't wear them out it kept your skin moist we also know that estrogen a lot of you learned in fast like a girl that estrogen had a major impact on insulin and glucose and so when you had a lot of estrogen you were insulin sensitive and when estrogen went away you became insulin resistant because estrogen had an impact so this peer reviewed research that I found this incredible article was this article was done like close to 10 years ago and we're still not talking enough about what I called the neurochemical armor that as we go into our forties the brain is remodeling itself and the neuro chemical armor is coming down and so we are changing on this neurochemical way and when we start to get these things like depression and anxiety and irritability is it is that the modern day problem is it possible that that's just a mirror menopause acts like a mirror for what you need to change in your life that is so important and if we lose this moment you don't want to be do you want to be the same person you were at 70 that you were at 20 I know I don't want to be the same person I look for it each day that I once I understood this information I was like my god I get the opportunity to finally be me for me to be the most authentic version of me because my brain remodeled itself my neurochemical armor came down and my evolutionary design was one of leaderships and one of the best leadership skills is you be you you step into the authentic version of you we don't need 1.2 billion copycats of women all acting the same we need 1.2 billion women they're all standing in their individual truth so the neurochemical armor comes down so we can do that and then like I said this is also a transformational moment so something really interesting that that I started to look over the last couple of months I don't know if you heard Michelle Obama's podcast on work in progress is the Sophia Bush interviewer on work in progress and she made a couple statements that the culture didn't like and the statements were that she was finally doing life for herself that she was making decisions for herself now not through the lens of first lady not through the lens of brox wife not even through the lens of being a mother she was finally in her early 60s doing it on on her terms and her way that's by design she's an example of it and so there is a living example of a transformative moment and once you start to see all these women changing their behaviors as they go through this process it liberates us all it frees us all when Pamela Anderson decided not where where makeup how many of us were like few finally enough when when Melanie Sanders went to her socials and said I'm starting a we do not care club millions of women are like yeah I don't care either when Jane Fonda sat down and went into her postman appausal years and started to talk about the power of her friendships and connections we all said yeah yeah that's what I that's what lights me up to so we have examples but it is this transformative moment so what do we need to change with our lifestyle to be able to match this moment hopefully you are gathering that there is a process here that is working for us once we understand it now I want to talk about well what do we do with the bumps what do we do when we can't sleep what do we do when we're not remembering how do we handle the brain fog because there is this remodel and like any remodel it's dusty and messy before the brand new appears so how do you handle the mess so that's where I'm going to go into the girl gang the estrogen girl gang and talk about how do you reclaim your memory how do you brighten your moods how do you fuel your brain different how do you how do you find deep connections how should you be exercising how the hell do you get a good night's sleep thank you so much for joining me in today's episode I love bringing thoughtful discussions about all things health to you if you enjoyed it we'd love to know about it so please leave us a review share it with your friends and let me know what your biggest takeaway is