EP 86: Kenny MF Norton | 2 Addicts & A Moron

From there, you know, you know, I also stay there with my aging mother who has stage, it keeps the doctors, you know, doctors or doctors, it's going from stage three to stage four kidney disease back and forth. How I don't know. So, you know, I stay in this hotel, been doing this for eight months, you know, riding this bicycle to him from a finally catch break and get this truck, right? I get in and it's been a long time since I saw a title with my name on it and you know, when income tax came in, I spent a lot of money to get in that truck, you know, legal, getting in my name insurance, get my SR 22, getting everything I needed to get my occupational driver's license, right? You know, because regardless of morals and good, bad, I'm going to do what I have to to make sure the job is sure taken care of. And right now, it doesn't matter. I'll suffer to make sure that woman has a roof over her head. It's a beautiful story. You know, so back to this officer, he pulled me over once he cut me some slack. This was a couple months, you know, prior to last month. So then last month, like it seemed like it seemed like he figured out what when I get off and he figured out, you know, of course, my truck, it's a 1990 Chevy 2500. Nice. Loud, you know, a truck truck, you know, I love that truck, you know, and there's not there hasn't been many, you know, material, you know, material items that I have truly loved. I've lost so much in my life, you know, possessions don't mean nothing to me, you know, but I love that truck. But anyway, so yeah, all month last month, he was harassing me. Then, you know, it's a story in its own right, but I haven't seen my son since before I went to rehab treatment. And that was the summer of 22. And I haven't seen him since then, but one time, and that was just because I knocked on the door and just to see and that interaction went fine. I mean, if you would have went by just that interaction, we would have just picked up where we left off, but that's not what happened. So anyway, so all that last month, you know, or since I've been trying to get my life together, trying to get the balls to go and knock on the door because again, again, you know, because phone numbers are blocked, social media platforms are blocked. So things are getting better right now. He'll be 22 this year. Okay. So he's he's he's grown. He was he was conceived during this time and we'll get to that, but he was conceived during this time, where I didn't, this happened when I was 19. I didn't think I was going to be 20. I didn't think I was going to be 21. And that went on till up until about 35, you know, till I started going to treatment. In fact, I spent my 39th birthday in treatment, you know, and that was like the very first sober birthday I've had since I was, you know, 11, 12 years old. Getting that crazy? Yeah. So, you know, that makes me think about my first sober birthday in fucking forever. It's insane. I mean, I think like my first sober one from drugs in 10 years, but really probably my first sober one since I was probably like 15, if you really think of 15 or 14, right? You know, I started everything at a young age. And, you know, like I said, here's where I ruffle the feathers, you know, and I love NA and I love AA. The message is true and the message is good. But there's, there's more than just black and white. There's a lot of gray. What works for you doesn't work for me. What works for me might not work for you. Okay. So, when I was young, you know, things happened to me as a child that should not happen to, you know, children, a male family member, you know, and again, I don't, I don't even want to give nobody, you know, because I'll show you how dirty my hands are, but I'm not willing to drag other people down in the dirt. That's between them and, and, and whatever, you know, so, so, you know, trying to get all that figured out, you know, I started smoking pot about that same time that they were, you know, hey, take these, they take this, they take this. I didn't like it, man. I didn't like any of the antidepressants or anything, you know, because insert label here is probably what the doctors say the only one I've never heard physically heard them say is skit. So, yeah, you know, but, you know, bipolar, manic, depressant, PTSD, anxiety, I mean, that list kind of continues. Like I said, the only one I haven't physically heard is skit. So, but I bet you that there's, you know, when, when I'm in that little manic madness, there's more than one of me there. You know, I say this all the time, you know, that's the only person that I'm really truly scared of is that motherfucker. Yeah, I'm always cleaning up a mess. So back to, you know, last month, you know, the cops messing with me, I struck out going to try to find my son and knocking on the door and he doesn't live there. They moved, you know, so, you know, and I don't blame her, you know, but I had been talking to this girl taking a whole new approach because, you know, to have something you've never had, you have to be willing to do things you've never done. So I took a whole different approach with someone that I finally zeroed in on, I'm talking about a woman, you know, and it's, it's been, I haven't done that since I've been sober and, you know, split up with the woman before that, you know, because I'm trying to fix me. I wasn't even concerned. I've had enough, enough pussy in my life, you know, sorry ladies, but, but let's be honest, you know, I'm started doing that at a young age too, you know, so I mean, it's, I took a different approach this time, you know, trying to connect with her on a emotional, you know, you know, get to know her first. Like, I do when I say nothing, I didn't even try to kiss her. I did, you know, and I knew she, you know, that I probably could have because, you know, she, I could put my hand on her lower back, but I took a whole different approach, right? And things have been, things were going good with her. And then, you know, this whole cops are messing with me, you know, I struck out, you know, with my son, you know, so I ignored the signs that I'm still, you know, new at this trying, you know, trying to figure out the solution, not, you know, not the problem, but the solution to my problem, which was always drugs and then women and the other, you know, I call myself a reform degenerate, you know, so, you know, trying to find, you know, that, that avenue to start, you know, not caring it, but, but doing what I have to whether it's the meditation, the quotes, or whatever, you know, so ignoring all those signs is probably also why, you know, because they, I got dangled like the truck in front of me, I got dangled, the girl in front of me, but I kind of lost focus on what I was doing. And then, and then, you know, so that, you know, I was kind of flipping and I'm flipping out, but I blew up her phone, you know, and just like, you know, when it's like that, it's almost like a blur. It's like, you know, it feels like I'm missing a week. Yeah, it feels like I'm missing a week, resorting back to old ways. Right, right, right. And I was heading in that direction, you know, so the day after I struck out with my son, you know, again, I have an old truck, I was going to, I was going to go get brake parts, because I knew the brakes were a little janky, right. So I'm going down the road and I saw the traffic, I'm in an old truck, I knew the truck, the brakes were a little janky, you know, so it's not like I was going fast, but I saw the stoplight and I saw that little bitty car, little bitty plastic new car and oh no, again, 90s Chevy truck, man. I wasn't going to stop and I was only going like 10 miles an hour. So, you know, I made an option. I mean, it's always less of the two evils, right. So instead of smashing that car, because I would have, you know, I can't remember what kind of car it was, but a little bitty white car, man, it would fit in the back of my truck. Yeah, you know, so how this happened, I don't know, but a lot of a lot of stuff that's happened to me has been a spectacle, you know, because if you saw that, you know, and it was a spectacle, all right, because somehow, instead of smashing this car, there was a little bitty gap, a, you know, a car moving over in this lane, somehow I fit in that little gap, popped the curb, there's a tree here, a tree here, and an apartment building here. I tried to make it between the trees, but I couldn't smash right into that tree. It pushed the bumper into the tire and that tire was in mobile, flattened the tire, but it was still running and still just fine, just kind of bent the bumper into my tire, and it's three on the floor, so I'm trying to back it off, back it, you know, and then it felt like forever, but it probably only mattered a second. So when was this? This was last month, last month, and what the odd thing is, there's a fire station right across the street, so where I'm trying to back, I'm just trying to get off the train again, being a reformed degenerate, and I know if I can get that vehicle into a parking lot, take the keys out of the ignition, throw them wherever, it doesn't matter if a law enforcement comes. Right. Show me, show me, I drove, show me. Man. Show me. So I finally get it off the tree, right, and where it was at was like, there's an intersection right there, dead straight across into a Starbucks parking lot. Now, when I say that I was burning rubber, you would have thought I was at, you know, a drag strip because I floored it, and man, it's a standard, you know, so smoke just filled the cab, wow, everywhere, the biggest, darkest, you know, tire tread all the way across, so I get it across, you know, how I didn't hit nobody, nobody hit me, I mean, kind of hard to miss it, you know, the truck is loud, you know, has a 350 in it, and then I make, you know, smokes everywhere, you know, again, it was a spectacle, like a lot of things have been in my life, you know, so I finally get the truck into the parking lot, and I get out of the vehicle and I'm starting to kind of pace and try to, I don't know what to do, don't know what to do, so at least I go over to the wood of the trees, make sure my license plate and stuff's not there, trying to get all, you know, whatever, you know, it was over there, so as I'm coming back, like taking pictures, some guy gets out and it's, you know, it doesn't matter to me, but in today's society, you know, and they try to pit, you know, a black guy hops out, which it doesn't matter, no big deal, but in today's society, it's kind of, you know, they try to pit people against one another, so he gets out and says, man, are you all right? I say, yeah, I think so, he's like, man, I saw that whole thing, I saw you swerve and I saw, I mean, he said, I saw everything, says, man, you got balls of steel, okay, so me and him just started talking, you know, and how we got on to like a, you know, not really a personal level, but he's just sitting there looking at me, says, man, I can feel your energy, man, you're a good person, I can tell, and this is me not telling him, hey, man, you know, I take care of my sick mom, I do this, I do this, and he's just talking to him, he felt the energy, so, he says, wait, wait, wait, first he asked me, what do you need done? I was like, I just need to get this truck home, so all right, well, wait for my chick to come outside, these people paid a tow truck, I don't know these guys, I didn't know him, you know, I wish I would have got his name, you know, but, but they paid $150 to have my truck towed to the motel I'm staying in, I was floored, I mean, I'm hardly ever speechless, you know, if they did away, but it used to say, hold thy tongue, right there, I was told a lot growing up, I watched that mouth, can he's gonna get you in trouble? Yeah, it always does, man. It does, but it's gotten me out of a lot of trouble and a lot of fun, you know, so, so yeah, they, the people they, yeah, graciously, they, you know, paid to have that truck towed home and man, and we had like a, you know, a man-to-man speech, and this is what both of me and him were trying to get at, you know, had nothing to do with color or anything like that, but we just both said, as men, we need to stick together as men, you know, because obviously, you could tell I was going through some things and he says, you know, and it just happened, I didn't bring up mental health or anything, but he said, you know, you know, as men, we're supposed to be, you know, big and tough and, and, and, you know, give you something to cry about, you know, stiffen up that upper lip, boy, you know, toughen up buttercup or even worse, you know, dads have told their sons all, all types of these things, you know, so somehow we got on to, you know, just as men, we need to be able to stick together and talk to, and, you know, if you need something, say something, you know, because we wouldn't have these feelings if the good Lord didn't, didn't want us to use them. 100%. You know, me and my girl talked about that today. She had, she told me something that she was going through and she's like, man, she said, I'm always embarrassed to tell you like, I can't handle this on my own. And I said, it takes more balls to say I can't handle something and I need help rather than holding it in and acting like you fucking got it. Right, right. It takes, it takes, it takes someone so much stronger. It is it. And you know, as men, we have that pride in us that even, even now I, I, I have trouble accepting help, you know, I'll walk home from work before I, you know, You need a ride? No, I'm good. And fucking walk five miles. Exercise. You know, I've done it though, especially after, after I wrecked this truck, which, you know, the irony in that was I took my bicycle to my storeroom, you know, before I wrecked the truck. So for a little while, I didn't even have my bicycle, you know, so, you know, there's, there's humbleness and humility. Yeah, for sure. So I went from walking everywhere to having a bicycle to getting this truck to not having a bicycle back to a bicycle. Now the truck can be fixed and it will be fixed, but it's just time is money. I'm, I'm serving tables at Denny's. Yeah, you know, barely scraping by staying at a hotel. Yeah, you know, and I'm happy to do it. I'm happy to do it. You know, going back to it, you know, I'll go into Walmart and fill up a bag of, you know, groceries and walk out as long as that woman has some food. If that's what it takes, you know, I'll push the morals aside is that woman needs to eat that woman needs to have a roof over her head. Yeah. How, how are the king of the fuckups got this responsibility? Oh man, I don't know, but I don't take it lightly. I think you got to give yourself more credit, brother. That's a thing you do. Yeah. That's the, that's the hardest thing ever. I mean, it's like I'm the moron of the crew, right? Like, and I struggle with that all the time. I mean, you guys just brought up something interesting made me think, but I don't think I've ever had a fucking sober birthday. You know, because I can put the shit down, you know, I'm not, I just drink a little bit. I don't do anything else, but like every birthday I'm, I'm drinking. This is where the in a, I can't go speak at any because I still smoke pot. Yeah, I still smoke pot. I still drink because I refuse. I refuse to take whatever pills that a guy an expensive lab coat wants to give me. I refuse. Yeah. And I firmly believe with, with, marijuana and the meditation and the, and the stuff that I'm doing now. Yeah. I believe that I I don't want to say here, but you know, I know the signs. I know what has at least half-assed work. Yeah, I still go into these, these manic states, you know, but prior to last month, I couldn't tell you the last time. I don't think I've had one that bad. You know, this go round with, you know, the last overdose was the last time that I went into one of the V's, you know what I mean? When was that? It was about two years ago. That's when I'm coming up on it about two years ago, you know, and it was going to only be, you know, the, the, the, man, I want to just get high for the weekend. Yeah. And then it turned into a week. And then then after I knew that, you know, I've been through the sickness so many times and the, the sadness came in and I didn't have any pistols at the point that I'd already gotten rid of all my pistols, you know, because we can get to the mental side of the sickness, you know, but this particular time, you know, and this isn't the first time I tried it, you know, I spent all my money on, you know, on heroin, you know, and, and just that right there, me saying, actually saying the word heroin out there, because if you look at my Facebook and look at my social, that's what I lean into my, my, my addictions and then the mental health side. And I've never said that word heroin on Facebook. Never, never. It's always been opiates because, and here's why. What's it? Yeah, I was going to say, what, does it make you feel some type of way or? No, it makes other people feel a certain type of way. I got you. Like, I've seen it. I've done, gotten pretty good at studying people because, you know, your eyes, like how people look at you whenever they hear that you're a heroin. Okay, so I've told people I'm an alcoholic, you know, I have these issues and you get a, especially with alcohol, you know, it's almost like, oh, poor baby, poor baby, good for you, good for you. But the second you say heroin, there is a different, you know, I wasn't out stilling for it, man. At my highest, you know, addiction with the heroin, I was, I was at the highest in my career. Yeah, by trade, I'm a maintenance worker over 20 years being a maintenance worker, you know, so I was making the most had the most prestige, you know, I was working out of property, you know, by the gallery, I don't know if you're familiar with Houston, but by the gallery area, man, I had a nice truck, man, all pretty women, everything that you could want, right? But that's, that was at the worst of it. Yeah, you know, one thing that I learned is, and I think what he said earlier, give yourself more credit. For sure. I think, like, I always, I'm not scared to tell anybody I was a meth addict. And they look at you different, like, if you do coke, because I used to do it before I ever did meth. When people do cocaine, I'd be like, oh, man, he does cocaine, they're doing cocaine in the back room back there. But then when I started seeing people do meth, I was like, holy fuck, they're doing meth back there or heroin, heroin and meth were like two of the big ones that I was like, I'm never doing those two, right? And then all of a sudden, when I was doing it, it was super dirty, right? Like, that's what homeless people do, right? And then when I was doing meth, I never told people that I was doing meth, right? But in my recovery now, I've learned that I don't really give a fuck how people look at me now. And because me saying, I was a meth addict for 10 years, people, the response that people get is like, holy shit, how are you able to quit? Right? And a lot of times that will open it up to someone else's addiction to. So I always tell it, yeah, it's been proud about it. Be proud about that shit. Here's the deal. You got two years off of it. Here's the deal, man. I'm not ashamed. Yeah, I'm not ashamed of it at all. At all 100% because I shouldn't be here multiple times over. Yeah, but to say that I'm not afraid of it, I'm afraid to do this right here because I'm exposing a lot. You know, I'm proud of it, but yeah, I'm scared. But you know what, the definition of bravery isn't not feeling fear or emotion, it's still doing what you have to do. You know, whether you're scared or not. You know, so yeah, palms are a little sweaty right now. And don't get me wrong, I am completely proud of it. And I care less, I care less what other people think of me and how they perceive me. It's what I perceive of myself. And you know, a lot of the quotes and not the quotes, but a lot of things I say is to bring awareness to the mental health, you know, for sure. Because again, I lean a lot towards that because I've, depending on when you met me in life is what version of me you saw, you know, up until 19 years old, you saw the boy that was abused and kind of had an acting out issue. Not violent, you know, you just can't say and do what you want to me. But just acting out like when I was 12, man, they were redoing the base, the park behind my house, like you open up my back gate and there's Freeway Manor baseball park right there. Yeah. Like that was when it's not baseball season, that was my field. Yeah. You know, so then there was Freeway Manor park and then a B Freeman elementary school. So they were doing some upgrades, right? And I must have been 1011 something like that, maybe 12. So I'm going over there and I see a little bitty bobcat with a with a scoop on it. And I'm sitting, you know, being the mischievous, you know, rebel out and all there's a reason I got the Dolly Roger tattooed on my arm. And I've always been a little bit on the, you know, let's have some fun, you know, so I get in there and I see that they left a key in it. And my first thought was idiot. And I started it, man. You know, so playing around. So I was always, you know, just trying to find an avenue to, you know, the attention, you know, because of course, you know, I wasn't going to tell anybody, you know, what was going on. So I just started acting out. And then, you know, groove age, getting into teenage years, I got in a little trouble in high school and I kind of put the, you know, put the hulk on any athletic dreams that I had. At one point, I was a three sport athlete, you know, basketball football and track two years in a row. Yeah, whole vaulting champion. I was very proud of that. You know, at the end of eighth grade year, I think it was about like nine, two or something like that that I was clearing. My dad sent me to a, a camp over that summer. And this came in his name. I'm horrible with names and dates and stuff like that. But I do know that he was the son of the coast at coach Carl Lewis in the Olympics. Nice. He taught me how to pull volts. So just from eighth grade to ninth grade, I think I was clearing like 11, four, 11, five. So I jumped that high, man. So I was really good at it. I really had potential in that, you know, athletics, but, you know, I'm still trying to deal with these mental, these mental issues. So I did a lot of acting out, you know, on top of it is, you know, for 13 years, I was the son, I was the baby boy, I have an older brother. And then miracle birth, my mom had her tube tied after me because I was an emergency C section. This is how long my life has been chaotic from the first day that I came to this earth. Life was trying to take, you know, take it itself from me, you know, I was a breech child. My mom's lady doctor was the first patient she had ever seen out of college. So they couldn't, they couldn't come up with an agreement on how many months I actually was. So I was overdue, I was breeched, biblical court came out first every time mom contracted. I was, you know, 17. So in 83, you know, Caesareans and tube tied and all that. It's not what it was. So she had her tube tied, you know, after my birth, you know, and obviously I made it through it. But, you know, I came into this world fighting. In fact, like a month or two after that, you know, Hurricane Alicia hit. And if you're from Houston, and of age, you know, of Hurricane Alicia, it was a pretty rough one. So that was my, you know, first couple months, but back to it, you know. So again, I was the baby for 13 years. And somehow some way, my mom got pregnant. And with, you know, my little brother, how I, because again, she had her tubes tied or whatever, you know, they did the procedure. Yeah. So somehow I had a little brother. So not only did I have that acting out trying to figure, you know, my own pain out and trying to figure out how to deal with stuff, I became a middle child. The attention get taken away very much so. Yeah. Very much so the older brother can do whatever he wanted. And the younger brother got all the attention. Right. So I was left to whatever, you know, your own devices. Yeah. And literally, it really was, man. It really was. So I did a lot of things just to catch attention. Yeah. So again, let us pause. We got to introduce you. Yeah. Yeah. Look, man, we're honored to have you on came a long way. Dude, I'm Oh, you've been a little sick. Yeah. Yeah. But welcome back to another episode of Two Addicts and Amor on baby. And we had a guy come in from Houston, Texas, baby. What's up, y'all? Hey, this is Kenny motherfucking Norton. And he introduced himself that way. So I felt comfortable introducing that. That's it. You know, I didn't come up with it. You know, you don't come up with your own nicknames. This is the first time I heard it, though. And they just kind of stuck. So I dropped out of high school going into the my junior year, the second semester. And so I disappeared for a while. You know, no one's seen me on. I couldn't tell you how long it was. But I caught wind of a high school party that was going to go on. So I was like, you know what? I show up. I'm not gonna tell nobody. I'm just gonna show up. So I walk in the room and, you know, again, I already said, don't I'm not gonna name drop. So I'm not gonna say your last name. But but I do give her credit for at least the first one I ever heard say, you know, I walk in and I just hear kiddie motherfucking Norton. And ever since then, it just kind of kind of stuck. Like I said, I got a ring to it. Now that I think about it, I can't imagine it. You know, anybody else's name at working with you know, because I've always been a legend in my own mind. You know, I've been caught a lot of names in my life. And a character has been one of them multiple times. Yeah. Because again, trying to figure out the pain in my life, I always figured if I can make you laugh and make you smile, it's not pity Kenny. Yeah, yeah, Kenny. I learned how to put on mask by staring in the mirror. And all right, this is you know, my happy face. This is the joking. This is, you know, is to get anything to keep your attention off of your kitty because man, you know, when I I'm a thinker and I'm an overthinker, then I'm a then I'll overthink that. So there's been plenty of times when you know, I started getting in my head because that's the most dangerous place in the world for me is in my ears, man. I've been in some bad plays of bad situations to some bad dudes. That's the only Kenny motherfucking Norton is kind of and even though I own the name that that's the gimmick. That's the K Fabe gimmick that old school wrestling fan. That's you know, you mentioned that you was old school wrestling fan as I as I'm my mom right now. And I become currently too. If you call my mom right now, she's 76 years old. She is watching Monday Night Raw. Right? Right? Who's your favorite? Who's your top three all time? All time. And then do you still watch wrestling now? No, not so much now. You know, it's not what it is. But I do I do love watching stories of these people talk. I do. Yeah, I watch it. Who's your all time three? Your three all time favorites? Like if you could sit down with three wrestlers just to chat with who would it be living or dead? I want to I want to throw DDP in there just because he was inspirational but not I came because not the wrestling side of it. You know, I can't just great. He was great. He was. He was. He was short bearded. You asked me to talk to him. He's not he's not yet. He's not you know, he wasn't long term. But his his his wife was always red heart. His wife was I love red heart. Red heart. I was a big rockers fan. Okay. When the Rockers were around. Was that Marty Janetti? It was more of a Janetti fan than a son. I like Jeanette. I guess because they split up. One went like fucking Shawn Michaels went to the top undertaker. Yeah. He lives here in Austin. Oh man. So here's mine. You ready? Sting. I like Sting. Sting was my all time favorite. I'm a big Hulk Hogan fan. I love I had to like it. Love me some Hulk Hogan. I had to Hogan wrestling buddies and I've actually hung out with him a few times. My mentor Hosea. Okay. He is friends with really good friends with Mark Henry. Really? I've hung out with Mark Henry a few times and Mark Henry is one of the most humble dudes you'll ever meet. Fucking huge. That's a large individual. That is a fucking end. When you hear the wrestlers talk about Mark Henry stories, right, like the Undertaker and fucking Big Show. They talk about like his how strong he was. Yeah. Like Big Show was talking about the other day I was watching one and he said he came in the locker room and Mark Henry is sitting there just upset with himself and he's he sat down and he's like what's wrong with you and he's like man I'm trying to tear this quarter and half. Yeah. But I can only bend it. Yeah. And the Big Show is a big fucking guy and the Big Show was like all right I'm gonna leave you with that. Yeah. I just went to the corner and I just sat there and he's like there's no way I could bend a fucking quarter and this guy's trying to tear it in half. Yeah. And then he was talking about Undertaker was saying a Aaron Anderson had a locker that got locked on him and they used crowbars and everything to try to get it off and Mark Henry fucking disappeared or pulled the door off. Yeah. He's ripped it off the hinges amazing strength but super cool dude. The two times that I've hung out with super cool guy. Pretty cool. The third one would probably be Stone Cold. Oh yeah. Stone Cold. I mean, yes. Stone Cold. I mean, he's I'm a Texas boy. He's a Texas boy. You know, change things for him. He changed WWF at that time. They were being. Yeah. He had played a part of the rock at that time. No. So in DS. The time when NWO was going at the time when it moved to WWE. Stone Cold was wrestling for ECW. He had he was an ECW for when WCW. What I'm saying is when that when they had the Monday night war when it was WCW against WWF at that time, the outsiders, Nash, Scott Hall and fucking Hulk Hogan had taken over WCW and they had they had became the fucking the number one for a hot for a minute. Yeah. And you had yeah, Goldberg and then you had and then you had Brett fucking Hart went over because that Montreal screw job. Yeah. You had a lot of a lot of the big names going over there. Yeah. And then but it was Stone Cold, the Rock, a mankind and there was man kind of triple H. It was entertaining but it was entertaining. But that's about the last time I was like really when you was really into like so when you were in high school, right, right, me to right. I got in a lot of trouble for the for the good old DX. Yeah. Because again, if you want to go to school, I was a class clown. In fact, I remember freshman orientation, you know, we were all sitting there, you know, first it's already nerve wracking, you know, coming from middle school to high school, you know, you see all the different kids and stuff. And and so they had a little skit on there, man. And they started kind of rough housing and me being me, I'm like kick his ass. Yeah. And this is like not even the first day of school principals looking at me like afterwards. I was the kid that I was the kid that pushed the other one into the other one. Yeah. Because I knew once that once I pushed you and him, y'all are going to start fucking that's what I always did. I always pushed the guy into the other one. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, I was again, if you're laughing and smiling at me, you know, I've always been like, again, pretty charismatic. I know, I know, I know who I am. Yeah, I mean, I'm 100% comfortable with that. And it doesn't matter if you've got brown hair, black hair, white hair, orange hair, like where white robes, black robes, bads, no bad, you're gonna get Kenny motherfucking ornate. It all depends on how, how turned up it is. You know, I can, I can just turn it down, you know, you know, I cuss a lot. But if I'm in a place where I don't need to cuss, I'll turn it down. But Kenny's gonna be Kenny, you know, and I've been that way my entire life, you know, in 90% or number wide, I don't know, but the majority of the time that is who you get. But every down then, you know, when it's not something that I can control, you know, again, insert label here, you know, catches up to me, then I'm having to clean up his mess. And, you know, prior to, you know, not using any types of substance other than marijuana, which, you know, I'm up front with that, I'll smoke my marijuana. But do I go around getting stoned all day? Just know it's a medicine for me, because I will refuse to take any of the medicine, because, you know, my opiate problem started with a guy in an expensive white coat. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Because up until that point, you know, I had smoked pot and I went to raise. So I experimented with the ecstasy and the acid and good ecstasy. Yeah, yeah. And that led me into like I was introduced to a raise my sophomore year. I had just made it back because I got in a little trouble my freshman year, committed a BNE. So I had to go to this alternative school and this alternative school was something, something else, you know, again, one of those masks, I figured out what mask I needed to wear, you know, because there was like 20 kids. I was the only white boy there. And we're not talking, you know, you know, slap on the wrist tight. These were actually little little gangsters in the making, some of me bullet holes and stuff like that. And then and here I am just this white boy that smokes pot that went on a thrill ride. Yeah, you know, it wasn't my idea to do it. I didn't need nothing, you know, my dad made decent money, you know, I went for the excitement because again, trying to figure out how to cope with myself and my issues that I had going on, you know. So yeah, you know, I got in trouble with in the freshman year. So I missed part of my sophomore year. When I came back to school, man, you know, football was just and I'm pumped, what pumped the weights, man, I was gonna, you know, catch up what I missed, you know, from getting in trouble. So I got introduced to raves that second semester. And, you know, when I say that, you know, I don't blame anybody, I don't, but, you know, for people to think they're innocent and everything is ludicrous because, you know, it was just how I responded what I did, you know, I didn't have to take them ecstasy pills from my brother. Sure. I didn't have to. I didn't have to go to those raves. But I did. Yeah. You know, but fact of the matter is I went to a rave. He, he, he got them for me. I had no clue what they were, you know, at this point, it was just I like to smoke some pot and sports was life. Went to these raves. He told me I'd have a good time and he wasn't lying. He wasn't lying. And that's, and that's a part in the recovery world that you hear people talk about it, you know, the pain and covering this, but let's be real about it. Drugs and alcohol are fun. Yeah, that's another reason why people do them. Some of my best stories and I can get to, I got countless stories have to do it. Like some of them have to do with good times and drugs. Yeah, I was talking to my one of my really good friends, maybe one of my best friends today. And he was talking about how he's never used for the sadness in his life. He's always used because he's enjoyed it. And I told him I said, I like to this day, I've never identified as an alcoholic. I can go out and drink one or two. It doesn't bother me. I always tell everybody, you got to find your own sober. But I love methamphetamines. I love the way that it makes me feel. Now, do I tear my life apart with it? Yes. And I know that that's one thing that I can't touch because I will not just touch it one time. And I won't turn it off. So if I if if I went and did it today, I would fucking call in sick tomorrow. And probably calling sick the rest of the week. And I would stay on it. And then it wouldn't be long before I just tore my life apart. But I didn't always do it because I was sad. Of course not. I did it because I celebrate. I had fun. Hey, man, something good happened. Let's celebrate. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, celebrate the drink, you know, got a raise. Yeah. So I can put completely understand. And like I said, I'm not a weekend guy. Opiates is my problem. Yeah. I you know, I've done my share of math. It's I like the first five minutes. But then after that, I hate it. I'm a lazy sleepy guy that all that already has trouble sleeping as it is. And I don't know if it's metabolism, but I could do just a little bit and now again, don't get me wrong. I've done my share. Yeah. A lot. I've done a lot, you know, but usually I get mad at myself afterwards like, Damn it, can you know you don't like this? You know, so it's the same way when I do cocaine, right? When I would do cocaine, I'm like, Why am I even doing this? I fucking hate it. I like them pain. Like the first five minutes when it gets me up, I'm like, Oh, this is cool. And then when the come down comes, and I start being in a bad mood and fucking irritable and discontent and fucking like looking at people like I want to stab them. Yeah, I'm like this. I don't even know why I did this. It's stupid. And mine is the opiates, you know, it is and man, I think I could even take a couple pills and be okay. But but here's the deal with that opiates now. I know I know better than pain pills. Yeah, no, there's a queen. There's a queen. There's a queen. And there's a reason heroin has been used for so long. There's she is the queen opiate. Yeah. And that's where it leads to. And that is exactly and I can't lie and say that I was, you know, shooting dope for years and years. No, I probably was I probably use heroin for maybe six years and three of the year, maybe only like a year or two of actually banging it. You know, so I can't I'm not going to even lie and say that I'm just, you know, taking your veteran. And I'm not here to, you know, have a dick measuring contest. Oh, I did this much. This much. All I will say is I am firm believer. And if you're going to do something, do it right. And that goes for drugs too. You know, I'm not, you know, again, it's not were you always were you always scared to shoot it before you started banging it? Yeah, where are you? Yeah, that's right. I've never banged Beth whenever, whenever I gave up, gave up. And even now I say something seriously would have to go wrong in my life. And this even includes with loss of family members. Something would seriously have to go wrong for me to ever shoot heroin again. That means if I am shooting heroin, I am trying to commit suicide. Trying to kill. Trying to go away. I've done it before. Somehow wake up. I've intentionally overdosed myself three times. Yeah, nobody saved me. I was always scared to do it because I've shot people up before. And I've seen people do it. And the zero to a thousand that they go to. I was always terrified to go like I know what just fucking do it a hot rail does for me or snorting it but watching someone shoot it I'm like holy fuck. Yeah, I was always scared to do it in the back of your head start feeling warm. I mean, it's arguably one of the greatest feelings ever. You know, again, there's a reason why people do this because they're fun and they feel good, you know. But yeah, I didn't I didn't shoot it most of the time. I snorted it for a good, you know, you few years before, you know, I like I said gave up everything else was falling apart. You know, you know how it is. And then the one of the guys like he was a he was a homeless guy that you know, unfortunately, he was the one that turned me on to it. You know, but but he wasn't a bad guy just because he was a drug addict doesn't mean he was a bad guy. So you know, I was working for in town Suites Hotel doing maintenance and that's when I and I had the pill problem at this point is not like I didn't have a pill problem. Everybody knew that I like my pain pills. Yeah, you know, but no one ever knew it had jumped to the heroin until I asked for help. Yeah, this is some of that that not everybody was innocent in my pain. Yeah, no, you know, nobody ever wants and this goes all the way back to 2003. This happened. March 3rd, 2003. That day used to terrify me. Because no matter how many days or years or whatever I had not using pain pills or not self destructing. That day was coming. I started thinking irrationally, acting erratically, you know, that that Kenny motherfucking Norton, that guy who who knows what a nine millimeter tastes like, you know, the the the reactive not the responding, you know, that that that's who comes out then. Yeah, you know, so it all started with this, you know, my hands were got crushed, you know, both of them. Now what happened was, I was working for this company for two weeks. It was a sheet metal rolling like a sheet metal company, they made air ducts, stuff like that. So me being the young 19 year old gung hoe boss asked me if I can do something. Yeah, let me show you. He asked me can I operate this machine as a it was a roller, you know, to make the circle air ducts. I said, Well, I don't know. I've never done it. But if you show me how to do it, yeah, I'll do it, you know, I'll show you I can do it. I'm, you know, easily taught. So a guy that came over with that was supposed to help show me how to do it, not a word English, not one word English. So, you know, I kind of put two and two together, you know, there's a there's a foot pedal here. You feed it in, you know, three rods, there's two right on top of each other one behind it, you stick it in the gap and it rolls it up and into a circle. So just being young and dumb and not having someone that spoke English to tell me you shouldn't be wearing gloves when you're messing with a machine like that. But that metal was hot and it was sharp. I was worried about cutting my hands. I didn't even click to me that it could get caught in the machine. Yeah, it did. And it pulled this hand in first up until about this point. Oh, you know, and this is a big deal for me too, because, you know, I've never other than a couple of weeks ago, showing a picture of this online, you know. So so yeah, it caught up to them, my fingers were coming out of it. And mind you again, the guy didn't speak English. Oh, so he didn't tell me that he was going to put it in reverse. Oh, no, I'm shoving my fingers out this way. He lets it go and catches these two fingers. So when my I finally got out, pulled the gloves off, I thought this hand was worse. Because when I looked at this hand, the nail was on the bone. There was nothing but bone and the skin was hung over like that. And there was this bone and nail to do it. This hand, the best way I can describe it, you remember like on like, let's say loony tunes, they smashed her hand with that mallet and it's like this fucking that's what it looked like, you know. So I fell down, you know, that made my asshole hurt. It was terrible. It was something, man. It was something. So I fall down, you know, if your knee hurts, grab your knee, whatever, you know, so I, you know, curl over, fetal position and, you know, pull, get me up into the pool of blood. So yeah, man, they get me to the hospital. And this was the first time I've ever been to the ER and I've been to the ER a lot, you know, straight to the back. I'm, you know, ranting and raving, give me drugs, give me something, give me no Mr. Norton, we can't until you sign, you can't. I can't sign shit. You know, again, I'm gushing blood. I'm like, sign with what? What are you, you know, I'm flinging blood, it's hitting the nurses and everywhere. And so they put the paper in front of me. I couldn't hold a pen. So I said, well, this work wrote my initials in blood, give me some drugs. Yeah. And it was almost like to where when they I was still wanting to ran rave as they were shooting me up, I don't know what they gave me, you know, I know, I know that it was a lot of morphine, but initially, that initial to calm me down because it was kind of like, like, I'm yeah, you got adrenaline. Cause almost like if you shot a angry gorilla, like, you know, I'm sure he's gonna be like, yeah, yeah, you're in a, yeah. So when I woke up after the surgery, but, you know, chances or the chance of it just so happened that one of the, the premier hand doctors just so happened to be working at the hospital that day. So I do, I am very thankful for Charles Metzger. That's the doctor's name, you know, he shout out Charles, Charles, Charles. You know, he saved me because I mean, it might have been way worse. Very much so. Yeah. So the first surgery, because this was two surgeries, the first surgery that had only took like that much of the finger off, you know, because the best way that they described it, you know, like if you get, you know, your, your toothpaste and start rolling it up from the bottom eventually, it's going to work. It did that, but this way. So there are slices, you know, all Daniel pushed, pushed everything this way, not that way. So you can even on that hand, you could see the scar. So when I woke up, of course, they're all wrapped up. I have no idea what they did, you know, but yet on this hand, and it was, it was a week or two before I even saw them, you know, so I still had no idea, but they told me about it, but telling someone that's, yeah, I don't know until I actually saw it, you know, and I used, I finally got rid of it. You know, my healing myself, I had an old floppy disk. That's how long ago this was, you know, had a old floppy disk of pictures all along the way. So anyway, that first surgery that they took and they had to take skin from right here. Yeah. And graph it, graph it right there. That's my hip skin right here. And then they stitched these two fingers together like that. So for two weeks, these two fingers were stitched like that because I like, I hope it grow or something like that. You know, so we have for two weeks, I was like that. When I went for a checkup, the bonus started decaying a little bit, so they took more off and this is the final final final fucking piece. You know, it's crazy is my dad and he worked in a refinery when I was in 1980. And he was maintenance. And back then, they didn't tell you couldn't wear long sleeve shirts and fucking gloves. And he was working on a machine and his fucking glove and sleeve got pulled in the machine. And it ripped his fucking arm off. And so my dad the entire time that he was live, I'd never seen him with two arms. This is like two weeks before I was born. And I seen a picture of him the other day, my mom had some pictures, and it was him of two arms and fucking I was like, Oh, that's what it looked like. It's kind of insane. It's hard to find pictures of me because I've lived longer this way than the other way. I've been on 19, I'll be 40, 40, I can imagine like what it does to you to my hands held rather quickly considering, you know, yeah, physical therapy, there's some things that I can never do like, and this really hurts, you know, I mentioned I was that athlete. I have not thrown a spiral since then and I was a quarterback for a while. I was a real good, you know, basketball player, I could, you know, keep, you know, hold my own with anybody on the court really, man. I've only played a handful of times because when you try to take that shot, you know, if you pay attention that middle fingers that last year, the middle, you know, yeah. So I haven't done those things since I hurt my hands. I didn't play catch with my son, you know, yeah, because of this reason. Yeah. Yeah. You know, because how, you know, how am I going to try to teach my son how to throw a baseball if I can't throw it right? Yeah. What am I going to do? You know, no, you're doing it wrong. Do it like this. Yeah. But dad, you're doing it wrong. You know, I mean, so it took some things from me. You know, it did. And even today, you know, there's still damage from it. You know, my hands are good, man. I can't throw as many punches with this hand anymore. You know, you know, I really can't, but I don't mean I won't. I don't mean I won't. But I just, I gotta go Southpaw if, you know. But, you know, it took a lot longer mentally and I'm still working on that because, you know, and it's different now because I was always working on it through some type of, you know, the bot tree, you know, some substance, something. So the person you see in front of you now, there's two things that did it was the watching that DDP documentary on Jake the snake started me with the yoga with him, you know, because I do all this on, you know, I have one done bell, one done bell bar with maybe 40, 40 pounds worth of plates. That's all I have. And I got some push up little push up handles. Yeah. And I do yoga and stretch and calisthenics, you know, so DDP got me on, you know, trying to again, my body and soul got me into the body part of it. You know, and on top of it, he always says some inspirational things, you know, I heard him say he was quoting somebody, but I heard him say, you can have anything you want, as long as you help others get what they want. Man, he's helped a lot of people for sure. Like a lot of people for sure. For sure. He's very inspirational on that aspect. Yeah. You know, so he started he started that because at that point, it was like I said, white knuckle in it, you know, there's more to it than just not using, you know, some of those cliche sayings and, you know, the recovery world, you know, it's not the problem, it's the solution, you know, all these things, you know. So without the, you know, the substance solution, I had to figure something out and DDP started it for me. And then seeing that podcast was right on holiday on the Joe Rogan podcast, that seeing that and introduce me to this stove. It's a good one. Have you seen it? Yeah. There's a couple that I stay away from. Yeah. But like if it's comedian, I'm a comedian nerd. So like I'm going to watch comedy for sure. The MMA podcast that he does with like, brand Sarah, the brand and job one. Right. But did you see the Charlie Sheen one? Yeah, that was awesome. So like actors, Bradley Cooper is really good. Like there. But some of the scientists shit, it gets away from me a little bit. I'm not saying some of that shit. I'm not a conspiracy theorist. And some of those are the ones I stay away from on. I am a little bit. Those ones will get me in. But it's like the, I guess it's just stuff that I'm just not that interested in. Like I'm interested in like Dick and fart jokes. I'm interested in movies. I'm interested in music. Like I love when he had Gary Clark Jr on. I love you. Got Dave Garoll's guitar tattooed on me. Yeah. Well, you know, I try not to get there's only one name tattooed on me. And that's my son's. Yeah, of course. So if I get a tattoo for somebody or something, you know, I wanted to be a thinker. Yeah, instead of getting food fires, you know, just got his guitar. Yeah, I noticed that he just guitar a lot. You know, so what kind of guitar is that exactly? Yeah. So yeah, that's what that that is. You know, I've made a point in my life to be different. And because I've always known I was different, whether it looked different, act different, you know, and I take pride in that even the words I use, you know, I try to talk differently than most people. I've been asked many times, man, where are you from? You don't sound like you'd be from Texas. Yeah. And also here's the thing, I look like everybody but me. You don't know how many times explain that to me, brother. You don't know how many times people have came up to me and say, Has anybody told you you look like has anybody told you I've looked like Ben Affleck. I've looked like the newest one is a young Chuck Norris. I heard that twice within the past two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Man, what's that guy's name? Horrible name. But he was in like Armageddon, the Russian guy from Armageddon. Oh, yeah. I was told I see like him, you know, I look like everybody but me, you know, I get it all the time. Even not even famous. Man, are you related to to such and such? Do you know such like, you know, I'm just Ken Norton, which I don't know if y'all know who Ken Norton. Yeah, of course. The famous name as well. Though it's a couple times. Yeah. You had Ken Norton, the boxer and you had Ken Norton. The one you are is who you refer to. And then you had Ken Norton, the football player. He's the 49ers. He's gonna remember Ken. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he was great. He wants to both both teams. He's great. He's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I remember when he scored a touchdown one time, they were playing the Rams. I don't know how I remember. Yeah, dude, it's weird to hit my brain to fucking tie it in for the Rams scored a touchdown. Was he, he was either a tight end or fucking or maybe Todd kitchens scored a touchdown for the Rams and he's punching the fucking the goalpost. Yeah. And then Ken Norton scored a touchdown. Yeah. And he's punched his goalpost. And you can tell which one of those motherfuckers. Oh, yeah, you wouldn't want to get in a fucking fight with because Ken Norton was tearing that motherfucker up. Ken Norton Jr. That's a kid. Yeah. All right. Like, you know, was that a son? Yeah, I didn't know. Yeah. Ken Norton Sr. and Ken Norton Jr. Yeah, you could tell he fucking grew up. Of course. He was hitting that shit. And like when Todd scored, it was either Todd Lighter, Todd kitchens. It was like nothing. Yeah. Ken Norton Jr. fucking was tearing that bag up. Yeah, I do. Damn, that motherfucking fight right there. I'm sure his dad, he taught him something. Yeah, no shit. I mean, he doesn't go down in the record books as like the greatest boxer, but he can at least say he beat Ali. Yeah, even though Ali, no, we all know he didn't train for. Yeah, I don't care, man. I don't matter. But Ken Norton, he trained. Yeah, sure. But yeah, I, I, I, I, it depended on the ages who, who I could refer to, but, but most of them asked me, is there any relation now? I mean, I'm not saying that it doesn't happen. It could be happened, but it would have to be a couple times removed. Yeah. And that's if I stayed in the summer all day, every day, you know, no. So yeah, I get asked that a lot, man. Yeah, that's a weird one to ask me. I don't think that would be the first one. Yeah. So I get, I always look like somebody. How do you respond to it now when someone does, because the first couple of times someone said that you had to be like, what the fuck? But now, if you've heard it enough, if you've heard it enough, now you can kind of play with it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It doesn't throw you off anymore. Now you've got to play with it. It depends on my mood. Sometimes I'm just going to mess with them and say, yeah, and say, you know, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Just like sometimes when people catch the finger, man, I told my buddy, I remember telling my buddy's little brother that, that alligator got it, you know, the shark has bitten my hand off. You know, just to get, you know, my dad, my dad used to tell, you know, Samurai sword, took it all, Samurai sword accident or something like that. You know, my dad was a huge alcoholic. And I remember at such a young age, we was always going to the beer store or the liquor store. And I don't know if you can now, but back then you could go in with your parents, right? Even if you were four or five, I don't know if you still can. I don't know if you can now. But we used to go in and that, you know, kids always, they're the ones that like notice something and they always ask questions or whatever, right? So kids would see my dad with no arm and they'd be like, what happened to your arm? And my dad used to tell him when I was a little boy, I was bad. So my dad, my dad chopped my arm off. And he would do it in such a straight face that they were like, and then they'd go fucking tell their mom that they were there fucking buying beer with or some shit. And their mom would come and say something to my dad or not say something to my dad either way. But my dad was always like, well, then you shouldn't tell, you shouldn't tell your kids not to ask. You know, that's how he always, that's how he always looked at. But it was always, yeah, when I was a little boy, my daddy chopped my arm off because I was bad. I've came up with stories like that too. It's funny. I'm tired of the regular mundane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's been 20 something years. Right, right, right. But look, at the end of the day, man, like we talk about this all the time on here. Specifically, Mike, you know, how he had to deal with normal things when he got sober, right? Like when you feel you're feeling you got it. But yeah, you got to like learn how to adult again or whatever it is. And so when you know, it's almost like a new injury. When you probably got sober, I would imagine, you know, you had a deal. I'm still doing it. I'm more I'm still react more than I fucking shouldn't. Very much so more than don't give myself enough credit for it. Because even during that crazy month, you know, that that I said that I had last, you know, last month, I didn't go back to old ways of thinking old coping mechanism. And man, another thing that happened that month, like, you know, I'm building this truck, putting it together, because it's it's it's a 90. Yeah, you know, and it's not in it's not a horrible shape. But it's, you know, it's a it's a 90 and then need some work and I I can do it and all that. But but anyway, so I was gonna go and shut the door now the door, you know, hinges are a little like, yeah, like all you got to give it a slam pick it up, you know, it's all you got slamming like a man. Yeah. You know, so I was given this Bruja that that's the last girl that I yeah, yeah, yeah, the Bruja. I was giving her a ride to work and I slam my door and the window just shattered on me on me and old Kenny, you know, or the the reactive Kenny wanted to know, but with the new way of thanking and again, I'm not perfect. I'm still learning, you know, what's best and how to do it. But that, you know, I responded instead of reacted. But that was also a part of last crazy month, you know, like I said, ever since I signed, you know, clicked what day, I'm gonna do this podcast this day. God universe, something whoever the evil one somebody was trying to fuck trying to keep me from doing it. And be keep me going straight. Yeah, because I started getting, you know, just, you know, I'm a man of little, you know, very little friends, you know, especially because most of people that I would consider my best friends were, you know, old Kenny, you know, either pre injury Kenny, drug addict Kenny, or this Kenny. So depending on when you came in my life is what friend you were. And I to be honest, this Kenny doesn't have a whole lot of friends. Because I haven't seen these people. And so long, they remember somebody else because I've always been like crazy Kenny doing crazy things, you know. So I don't have many friends, you know, so just getting here, man, it took almost an act of God, you know, because I wrecked the truck, you know, and I had accepted and said this day, because I'm going to come up here. You know, I'm again, you know, I serve tables at Denny's, I barely scrape by to make sure me and mom are taken care of and my dog and my cat, you know, because I can't forget them. They're my babies. Yeah, I love me some Piper and like he's an old grouch cat, but he love him too. Yeah, you know, so, you know, it, it, I agreed to come here, wreck the truck and and again, instead of going back in all ways, I'm like, man, this, this, this is important for me to be sitting right here right now. Yeah, no, it is. It's very important to me and I don't take it lightly at all. You know, going back to I'm not ashamed to tell you, you know, show you how dirty my hands are. Right. It's fine. But this, this, it also is somebody who's attempted suicide multiple times and still here, somebody who who should be in prison, should be in a box, whether like I said, trying to be it in my own hand or just doing something. I mean, I've been shot at, I shot at people, you know, woke up, you know, look around how the hell did I get here? You know what I mean? I mean, I, I flirted with, with life and death and because I was ready, you know, and it's not that, it's not that I want to die. And this is the sick twist. It's not that I don't want to die. I just don't want to live in this earth. This earth sucks. People suck loyalty with, you know, people. The words don't mean anything anymore. You know, I've, that maddening madness has ran off more people in my life than, than, than I can think of. I mean, that's what happens all the time. And it might take, you know, one or two episodes before, you know, family, friends and, you know, whoever parts ways, you know, but different names, different faces, different situations, but it all, it always, even this last, the Bruja, even the last, you know, time, you know, it's the same thing. I'm always having to clean up that mess is from the, you know, the mental side of things, you know, but again, out of all that last month, the track record, obviously there are no needles, tracks in my arm. Yeah. Yeah. I, you know, I would strip down, but I'm not going to, you know, I, I did not, I did not go back to old coping mechanisms. I did not go back to ways of thinking, you know, I am here completely, you know, maskless, exposing. Those are big wins that you need to like, fuck it, definitely like, be proud of. I am 100% 100% proud, even the small even the very tiny one. I was about to say, man, me get my license, bro. That's one of the happiest days of my life because I was paying fucking so much more for insurance because I had to have an SR 22. I have one of fucking license was expired for five years. I had to go take the fucking driver's test and the written test again. That's why I'm fucking when I went, I couldn't take the driving test that day because my car doesn't have a front license plate. So they gave me, I'm 46 old. They gave me a learner's permit. Nice. Nice. I had the learner's permit for two days. I was in there getting a learner's permit with a 15 year old girl. I was going to say, man, I think I was like 14, 15. I got a fucking learner's permit. So yeah. But yeah, those and those are, those are huge. Even just the paperwork and I posted it, you know, on, you know, Facebook of the paperwork that it takes just to get the occupational license. Now I've had license issues since in fact, I've had license issues since my first DUI and that was when I was 20, no 19. Yeah. 19. It was before this. So 19, 19. Yeah. So that, you know, I have to, that was the first one. So that's when it started the license issues. And then, you know, at that time, you still had all those Texas surcharges. So I kept on getting those, you know, all my traffic stuff is, is, you know, no valid license, no insurance, no tax. It's all mine too. To get the occupational license, I had to, you know, get a driving record and it goes all the way back to O2. This thing is three pages long. And most of them are license, insurance, stickers and stuff. I had my sister runs an insurance company and I had her pull up my license and it tells you all the fucking warrants that I have out from like five years ago and four years ago. And I had a call and fucking pay each one. I pay here, wait two weeks, pay this one, wait fucking three weeks, pay this one. It was like, fuck. So yeah, you know, got my income tax this year, transferred the truck title to my name. I paid the, the reinstatement fee and there was another fee I had to pay. I have the SR 22. I had all the paperwork ready. It's notarized and everything ready to go try to get my, because again, this is 20 plus years I haven't had a driver's license. So I also have to go take the test. But just to get the occupant, technically my license is revoked until January of next year. But I was trying to do things legal and I'm tired of, you know, I will drive. They had the trucks wrecked now, but I will drive if I have to, you know, there was a couple months before I got the truck, you know, when my mom needed to go to the hospital. So we had to Uber and I don't quite remember exactly how I scrounge up the money, but I know it was pretty stressful. You know, so I will drive, you know, I mean, if that's the worst thing I'm doing in life is operating a vehicle. Then going back to that, the Webster PD, you know, going back to him, he knew the situation. He knows, I mean, come on, man, you're, you're harassing me at this hotel with that, you know, other things go on, you know, if, if that's what it is, you're messing with somebody just trying to provide them. Yeah, something sums up there, you know, but you know, so I'm this close. So again, gotta be a big day. Gotta be thankful that when I wrecked the truck, no cops came. Yeah. How no one got hurt. How I didn't go to jail. I still have the truck in my possession is beyond me other than there's, there's a reason there's a reason, you know, that I'm a firm believer that it's either a blessing or a blessing. And sometimes the blessing is that you learn your lesson. Yeah. You know, and that goes less than the lesson is in the blood. That's for sure. And that goes vice versa. That goes for everything in life. This is a, you know, a blessing here. You know, anyone that comes into my life, I try to pick up something from them. Yeah, something. And even if it's not in a good way, you know, I try to pick up, okay, watch for this in people or whatever it is, you know, I try to learn something from everybody. You're never too old to quit learning. Well, something you do is you journal all the time. And I when I was in rehab, I like to when I was in rehab, I started journaling because I wanted to write a book when I got out. And when I would go to different meetings, I would hear like different quotes that people would say and I'd write them down. And I'd always write who wrote who said that quote first name last initial. And whenever I was about a year sober, my fucking truck got broken into and they stole. I had I bought some some some Louis Vuitton that fell off a truck. I bought some Christmas presents for people. And I had a Louis Vuitton backpack and it had all my journal shit in there. And they fucking stole it. And I was like, I didn't care about the backpack, didn't give a shit. I was like, man, I looked around the parking lot to see if maybe they found my notebook and they're like, fuck this piece of shit, just threw it out. Because that was like the most important thing in there for me. And seeing that you said and I stopped doing it after that because I had like two journals in there that were full. But seeing that you still do it is going to make me start doing it again. And it's more than just a journal like right there. My favorite Bible verse songs. Yeah, yeah. And again, some of them are songs, man. And, and, you know, I don't toot my own horn. But man, it seems like my best work came during that that manic madness. You know, possessions aren't important to me. You know, and this also happened last month. So when I was about 10 or 11, my dad bought a 66 GTO. Cool car. You know, father, son type of rebuild, right? So, you know, growing up, working on that car with him and me, my dad, we haven't always had the best relationship, you know, not that he was a bad dad. My dad was a good dad. He was a provider, but he didn't know how to be a dad. His, his father died when he was, you know, I think like six or seven and diabetes. So he didn't know how to be a dad. His older brothers picked on him. They grew up in South Park. And if you know from Houston, yeah, South Park is predominantly black. Yeah, you know what I mean? So, you know, again, I don't blame him for nothing. You know, this goes for everybody. I don't blame, but, you know, again, accountability. But anyway, my dad bought this car and I worked on it. And, you know, my dad's done well off financially and, you know, stuff like that. And he had that car. Then he bought that 2002 collector's edition, Transam, the yellow, the last one they made. And there was always the understanding that when that time came, my older brother was getting that car, I was getting the GTO. Now going back to possessions, there's only been a few things in this world that, that I've actually loved because I've lost some very important things. I've lost three different store rooms, you know, some important stuff in there. My, you know, my biggest accomplishments, you know, personal achievements, all my ribbons from track and field, a lot of stuff, you know, it's gone, you know. So, this car, you know, meant a lot to me, you know, and it was understood by the two blood brothers that the car is coming to me. And they, I made it known that if it doesn't happen, I'm, I'm plenty okay with dirty in my hands to make sure I get that car. Yeah. You know, I don't care about his money. I don't care about any of his other assets. The car, the car was important to me. Like, I've dreamed of that car. I've dreamed of, you know, when it's finally done, taking it to car shows. Yeah. You know, one of my favorite memories is after my mom and dad split, dad and his new family was moving over to a Pearland neighborhood. The way that the car was at this point, it would run seats weren't bolted down. There was no front clip, no fenders, no nothing just all motor, all motor. So before we put the car on the trailer, he says, you want to take it around the block, not knee drive, but you want to go around the block? I'm like, hop in again, tell you the seats aren't bolted down, right? Man, when you talk, they just don't cars just don't make that smell anymore. Like I don't know. Carburetion. Yeah. I don't know the type of fuel, but it was, it wasn't just regular fuel. My dad had a big drum in the backyard for fuel for this thing. You couldn't just go fill it up at the station. Yeah. So man, I hop in the car, man. And again, there's no dash, no, no nothing not bolted down. My dad has a steering wheel to hold on to. Yeah. He guns it and I turtle it. Man, straight feet. And you know, man, and I'm mad because I know that he's hauling ass and I want to see. Yeah. But all I see is trees. You know, but man, it was such a good memory. So, you know, yeah, you know, there's very few things like I said, you know, so I hadn't seen my dad. He paid for my treatment since the last time I saw him before last month was in the parking lot of Bay Area Recovery Center in Dickinson, Texas. Shout out. Thank you so much. You know who else went there? The guy from corn. You know who else went there? I believe a congressman. One of my sponsors, John Bright. Oh, yeah. That's where he went. Yeah. The guitar player head. He went there. Brian had. Yeah. He wasn't there when I was there, but my sponsors been on here twice and that's where he went. He loves that place. I can't remember his name and even if I could, I wouldn't do that. But he was a congressman. He came and spoke to us one of the times. Yeah. Nice. So yeah. You know, it's crazy. A little place in Dickinson, Texas could help people when I when I asked for help. You know, because it took me asking for help. You know, they've never put it this way. I called them and invited myself more than, hey, can you come hang out? You know, I really wasn't a part of my dad's second family as much as I would have liked to. Yeah. You know, I get it, you know, choices or choices, but also not everybody always had my best intention, either. So but back to back to the car. I know I go. No, you're all right, brother. I go right. So so you know, that car was very important and I hadn't seen my dad since he paid for me to go to rehab, which I will always be grateful for that. You know, I told him to, you know, to from the get go just don't I'm just not going to some regular, you know, gonna just fill me with a box and all that. I want to go somewhere with a dual diagnosis to help me fix the problem. Because I'm no rookie. I know that there's something wrong with me. I know that I use drugs for I need to fix in here and here, you know, and that's why I credit DDP and, you know, Ryan Holiday because that's what gave me the tools to on top of the N. A. On top of the A. A. On top of all these principles and things I've learned. Like I said, I try to pick up what works for me because what works for me is not going to work for you. It works for you. Not going to work for me. Yeah. And that's it kind of sucks because you can't I can't go to N. A. and tell them, well, you know, I still smoke pot. Well, you can't speak anymore. Like really, dude? Really? I don't have needles in my arm. And I'm and I don't want to, you know, I don't want to hurt myself. I don't want to hurt anybody. You know, leave me be. I'm not taking again. I'm not taking whatever. Yeah, big pharma medicine. You just not. You just not convinced me to do it. You know, if I if I could deal with my my demons on my own, I'll gladly quit smoking. Right? Yeah, no problem. No problem. But until then, it helps the meditation helps the stoic mentality helps and then the exercise mind, body and soul. And, you know, it's tough. I don't like to really talk about religion much because I believe different. The same same thing with the N. A. type stuff. There's more than just black and white, you know, just because those words were written in that book. And this goes for the big book too, just because they were written in this book. We always have to remember man has an agenda. No, 100% don't matter how holy or how smart the scientist is. Man always has an agenda and you have to take that into account on everything. You know, and I don't like to talk about and tell you how I believe in what I believe, but I won't debate religion with nobody. You can't, you know, it's undebatable. You can. And like I said, the Bruja, the Bruja, she she would correct me and say, No, I'm alchemist, you know, but she legit believes in stuff. And that's fine. You know, I get it. I'm a show me type of guy, though. Yeah. You know, so for belief is actually really difficult for me because I'm a show me type of guy. I don't dispute or, or, you know, agree bigfoot's out there. I mean, show me. Yeah, dude. Yeah, let me see it. Spirits and stuff like that. Okay, show me. I just, you know, I'm not saying that they don't exist. I've just never had an experience would say, yeah, there it is. Shadow people do. But you know, but I'm not saying that they don't, you know, but what's your, what's your, whatever your belief is, is that's yours. That's yours. And that you shouldn't, you know, can't argue faith, man. Right, right. You shouldn't can't argue. Take your opinion on somebody for their, their faith. You know, yeah. If it helps, like, I mean, if it helps you be the person that I love, I'll keep doing it. You know, they all, you know, have good true messages. I'm not, I'm not disputing that, but you know, to say one is better than the other. But if you, you know, if you, if you live according to the Bible, you're going to be a decent human being. Sure. If you, if you, if you live according to the Quran, you're going to be a decent human being, you know, cause I've done my research on all of it and they're all the God of Abraham, correct? So, you know, I mean, they all teach good messages, you know, going back to, there's more than just black and white. Yeah. 100%. There's a lot of gray. And if it's, it's the gray that keeps, you know, you being a decent human being, because the way I see it is, the world knows me nothing. The world owes me nothing, but I owe the world everything to be a decent human being. 100%. That's well said, dude. And I, again, there's these, these, these quotes and stuff that, that I write in here all the time. One of my favorites is from Marcus Aurelius, which is a real guy. You know, he says, you have power over your mind, not outside events, realize this and you'll find the strength. It's a good book. Dude. I can only, I can only control what I can control. I can't control if it's going to rain outside, but I can control if I take an umbrella. Yeah. I go sneak that book from a guy at, you know, Raphael has it on his meditation, meditation, just a different one every day of Marcus Aurelius. It's really cool. Someone told me one time, I don't know if this is true. Actually, I might have heard it in a movie that he used to pay a servant the servants only job was to walk around and whisper to Zira and tell him, you're just a man. You're just a man. That way his ego wouldn't get the better of him being the fucking emperor. Very much so. Sounds like a cool story. I mean, if you read meditation, though, I don't know if he had a servant or not. There's no way for us to know that. But his ego is pretty well in check. Like if you're reading, if you're reading the that book and it's real short, I mean, it's like a short thing. And the goal is to read one every day. And then it starts over whenever you go back. It's real fucking applicable. So like to the day where you're at, it always seems to be like if you go in tomorrow, grab a go in tomorrow, he's got meditations on his. But that's a yeah, dude, those are. Yeah, you know, for a man that was emperor of the most powerful, he didn't he didn't have to worry about these moral, you know, dilemmas that men have, you know, or he did, but he did. But you know, there's a reason why his meditations booked it, which was not meant to be, you know, published, wasn't meant to be read. These are just for him. All right. You know, it's helped me out a lot, man. I mean, you know, like I said, I can't say that there's been other than drugs, two things exercise and that that has been this constant in my life, since like high school sports. Just every other thing was been drugs and go from one thing to another. You know, drugs was the constant between that. Sure. But past few years, man, and I'm almost done with this, you know, I got a very good one, bro. You know, I will, I will, for sure. You know, I mean, it's I got some good stuff in here, you know, good for me. Well, but again, well, for me, might not work for you and what, you know, brother, you're a you're a marvel, man. I appreciate it. And knowing how you got here, like here to sit in front of us and chat with us. It's an honor. I mean, it really is an honor, dude, that I mean, I know you left mom back at home to come hang out with us. I've acquired an adopted sister. She's actually the one that got me the job at Denny's. Very cool. Because I was working at Latinta, making really good money. But I was still trying to figure things out and me and the boss, it just wasn't a fit for me. It's not about money for me. It's about peace and happiness. I got peace and chaos running across my stomach. Sure. You know, it's a it's more than just money. So I was making really good money over there, but coming home just mad, just mad. It was it was it was a struggle even and this is the this is when I started learning about you know, the stoic life and and you know, stuff like that. So lost that job. This woman that lived at the hotel as well, you know, just kind of started talking with her and stuff like that. And it's not anything like that. She's she's a sister. She's my sister, you know, you know, not all family is blood, but she's family. Yeah, you know, she got me the job at Denny's and her and my mom has bonded. Like I said, she's my adopted sister because I get off work guess who's in my room. There's there's there's Randy, she's in my room with my mom and her dog, you know, so so it's a blessing that they're like, you know, she was there. No kids. Mom isn't you know, home alone left their own device. Yeah, brother. It's well, this this was a it's a wild ride. You have one story, bro. And I made it here because, you know, I was coming one way or another. Now, where I was going to sleep, I'd been all right just walking the streets of you know, the night, you know, that's how important this was to me that if I didn't have room for a hotel, I'm okay. I've slept outside before. Now we would have got you know, but that's where my mind said I have trouble asking for help. And I have trouble accepting it, you know, but you know, that that you know, and I didn't want to you know, when I was telling people I was going to do this and stuff, they first thing people ask me one or two things, are they going to help you get there? Are you getting paid for this? Nothing's ever been said. And they don't know the whole story. I didn't you know, I wanted it to be this way. Yeah, we never know the whole story. We don't know any of the story. Just for a future reference, we don't ever know. For sure. For sure. And try and let it all come out in here and let it be a real conversation. For sure. You know, so you know, just getting here, you know, I got the bus ticket, which I would have eventually been able to pay for, but man, just out of the blue. I haven't seen this guy since high school. He keeps up with me on Facebook. Because if you look at my Facebook, it's nothing about mental health and what I am. I am who I say I am online. I'm not pretending to be anybody else when a lot of people are, you know, not who they are online. I am exactly who I say I am. I know who I am without a doubt. And I'm 100% comfortable with that. You either like me or you love me. It's not going to hurt my feelings if you don't like me. Trust me. I've been called a lot of names. Nothing you can say is going to hurt my feelings. Right. You know, what would Chris you say? There's nothing you can tell me that I ain't told myself. Very much so. Very much so. I've told myself 100 times that today. Yeah. So yeah, just, you know, I was going to make it here one way or another. And he actually said I could say his last name and I would love to be able to, you know, Jospetista, you know, I haven't seen this guy since high school. He, he, he sent me money to get the bus ticket. He sent me a few more, a few more dollars today so I could Uber and he drove me from, I know you don't know the distances, but NASA to the downtown bus station this morning. I used to live in Friendswood. Oh, did you really? I've been in Friendswood, I've been in Friendswood City Gel more than any city gel. My mom was a cop there. Oh, nice. Nice. This was 1985. Okay. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Before your time. Yeah. My first brush with the law was still a 90. I was young, but it was a 90. Yeah. She was a cop there. Which y'all want to hear my first running with the law? My first, and I have yet to meet somebody else with this charge. And this was at nine? Nine years old? No, no, it was in middle school. I think seventh grade. Okay. Let's end it with this story. Yeah, let's go. So I was waiting for my basketball game to start, you know, middle school. So I walk across the street, you know, just to get a snack. And my buddy David was sitting there with just this look on his face like, I knew something wrong was back there. A cop decided to stop me and give me a jaywalking ticket. I have never met and you know what jaywalking is? Yeah, I didn't know. Like I know what it is. I didn't know that cops actually gave tickets. They gave me a 12 year old 13 however old you are in seventh grade. They gave me a ticket. A citation. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, for that. Yeah. It's funny because when we go downtown, I always, I don't ever wait for the light sometimes. Right. And sometimes I'll cross where you're not supposed to and destiny be like, we're gonna get a jaywalking ticket. I'm like, shut the fuck up. Nobody does that. And then quick second other story, my second one wasn't wasn't even I was 14. I didn't even commit to crime. My older brother got caught driving. He was like 16. He got caught driving with cigarettes. And how he got this cop to believe that he was a 14 year old because there's a big difference between 14 and 16. Yeah, for sure. Somehow he got that cop to believe that he was a 14 year old kid and I had to stand in front of a judge for what my older brother did. Oh man. Yeah. And I'm sitting there the whole time. I could have said, no, that was him, man. You know, but no, I did the community service form anyway. Yeah. Yeah. So good brother. Yeah. That's what you're supposed to do. Right. Yeah. Well, tell people how they find you, man. How do people find you? Man, I'm on Facebook. I mean, I'm not the most technological savvy person, but it's Kenny Norton. You know, I don't know what the actual, you know, other than Kenny Norton, you know, on on TikTok, Kenny motherfucking Norton. And again, I'm not that technological savvy. So I don't know what the actual username is, how you would look it up. Yeah, I'd be all right with flip phones and landlines, man. Yeah. But yeah, there you go. There you go. Seven one seven. So my TikTokers at my Facebook. Okay. That would be Facebook too. Yeah, I guess so. And there you go, man. There you go. Well, thank you so much for coming on, brother. We're gonna snap some pictures of you for sure. And then we're gonna snap some pictures with all three of us. We'll wrap this thing up. I'd like to do this again. Of course, dude. Like I said, you know, there's more to it. I've been, I've, you know, I'm a maintenance man. I'm a server. Those are just things I do for an employment for money. This is the job. Yeah, of course. This is the job. We feel the same way, dude. So the cool thing about second timers is the the conversation is a lot more fluid at that point. I bet, you know, we, it's much more for shopping it up. Now we've all been around each other. So we'd love to have you back on. And I knew it. I knew it, you know, from just watching the podcast that we could sit and chop it up like that. You know, we could joke. I don't know, because there's no need in coming that somewhere because, you know, I've been a storyteller my whole life. I know when to start joking around and get loud and but then the dramatic part of it too, man. You know, I've been saying, I don't know what's going to happen. But after today doing this, like, I don't even know when this will come out Tuesday, you know, Tuesday, tomorrow or the next Tuesday, you know, but I've been saying, I just know change. Okay. I don't know what, you know, I know something's going to be different. Because like I said, this, I can't be that passionate for nothing. And, you know, it not mean something. Well, I'm not talking monetary value. I'm not talking anything like that. Some, if I can just help one person, that's all we care about. And if I can, and if it can point me in the right direction of what I'm looking for in life, because I'm still looking to, you know, again, I'm still at early stages of all this. But I'm, if you met me a few years ago, it'd be night and day difference. Yeah. You know, and just after last month, it's working because I didn't go back to all that, you know, I'm still, you know, you know, it's funny as people when they hear that we have a podcast, what's the first thing they always say? Which one's the moron? Yeah. Well, besides that, it's always how much money are y'all making? Oh, yeah. Almost everybody. We don't give a fuck. We were as long as we were thought about money as long as we are able to help someone. And as like the best payment that we can get is when people message us and say, hey, man, I watched that episode and you'll get some too. I watched your episode and man, it really helped me. You can't put a price tag on that. No, you cannot. When we had Cajun Kendra, come on. If you go watch that episode, I'm gonna go back and watch. If you go watch that episode, when she tells her story and the things that she went through, when she left, we were crying. Right. And he called me on the way home and he said, bro, I don't ever want to make money off this thing if it's about someone's life like that. And like her story was like, I don't want to make money off of someone's story. Somebody sitting there getting vulnerable, man. It's tough to. It's, yeah. I mean, look, if we make money on it, we're going to turn it around and bless some other people with it, put some people in some rehabs and things like that. And take care of our film guy, of course. Getting peanuts back there. Greedy bastard. Yeah. You know, but yeah, I was asked that, you know, that wasn't even mentioned. And to me, it's like, how rude would I be if that's what, because if that's what it is, that's like somebody that films himself giving a homeless man something to eat. Yeah. You know, I used to do that. You were in your addiction. My addiction. Look what I did. Well, you know, I didn't do it for the looks, though. Right. I did it to tell God, look, you see what I'm doing here? I'm helping your people. Yeah, but you don't need the fucking internet. Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. If this led to this led to me to somehow, you know, earn a living doing this. Oh, so be it. That's what I said. I have a real strong feeling after this airs. Something's going to happen. Yeah. And I don't know what it could be bringing someone into my life. It could be bringing a, you know, a job or something. It could be I saved somebody's life. I don't know what it is, but I'm willing to accept whatever it is. And I'm paying attention. I firmly believe in energies. There's three things that I look for in every person thing and anything, intelligence, energy and integrity. And if you don't have the third one, the first two don't matter. I've got the last two. It's hard. I'm smart. That's it. My daughter's no comment. No comment. My daughter brings home homework from fifth grade and I'm looking at it like this. I'm like, we'll see. I'm also dyslexic. So yeah, I quit being able to help my brilliant son like in first grade too. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was what it is. So hey, brother, thank you for coming on. Thank you for coming, brother. We'll see y'all later. Thanks for the moron. We are out.