No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. Varsan, who is not generous, cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the puja bhajjo on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. Do you guys know when your spouse probably is mad at you based on something that they either body language do or don't do necessarily? For sure. Because I feel like Chels is not feeling me right now. Like, and I don't know if I'm even safe to talk about this because- Wait, you just said you had a caller. We had a good week together as a family, but we didn't have like a good week. I don't feel like we had a good week like as a couple together. Like on the same page with things, like vibes. Let me explain. There's two things that have not been happening in our relationship. And it comes at bedtime. And by the way, sex is not one of them. I don't want anybody to think right away. Oh, it's sex right away. There's two things that have not happened in like the last month or so that have made me think, Chels and I are just not on, like, I don't feel like things are really good. And I'm going to tell you the two things. And then I want you to do me a favor. I want you to share with me what are things that have been signs that you realize that something was up and you guys need to have a conversation. Number one, we're not going to bed at the same time. And we had gone through a period where we've gone to bed at the same time. Even if we've gone to bed and it was, hey, we're going to, Chels is going to turn on television. She's going to watch TV and I'm just going to zonk out. We're in bed at the same time. That's number one. Number two, this is a big one. I can't remember the last time that Chels reached out and just grabbed my hand in bed. And I didn't, wasn't the one that reached out and grabbed my hand, her hand, because we typically will fall asleep or I'll fall asleep to cause she'll stay, she stays up. She has a hard time sleeping to me holding her hand and I can fall asleep instantly once I get that touch. And so those two things haven't really happened. I know she'll say, well, we did hold hands the other night, but it was me reaching over to grab it. You know what I mean? Like not a grab on her part cause there was a part there where it was kind of like, we would go back and forth and not that I'm counting things. I know a therapist would say, you shouldn't count who does what, but you kind of know you're kind of having. Yeah. And then there are times where you just don't do things seeing if it happens. I think the going to bed at the same time is a big deal cause I really feel like we went and maybe it's cause the summertime is going to be coming here and we're getting to that point at summer time. And when it's summertime and the darkness doesn't come until late, sometimes she will stay up much later than I will stay up because I got to wake up and do this thing. You know, but I want to know from you guys, but also want to know from the listener. I want to know what is the sign that you have had happen in your relationship where you said something just ain't right. And I'm not talking cheating and stuff like that. We talk enough cheating on the show with war of the roses. I'm talking about like somebody's either struggling or somebody's either pissed at you or something. You know what I mean? Have you asked her not like saying, is there something going on between us? But I just think in life in general, like it could be something that she's stressed about and that just affects how she's living her life right now. It has nothing to do with you. And it just sort of trickles down to different things happening with you two. I know that we are both and she more so than I are. I think we're stressed about our kids, you know, our boys. And I know this is going to sound weird because you would think that my kids are at an age where I shouldn't have to stress. You stress more. And this is something that we talk about on our podcast today. We talk about how bigger, bigger kids, bigger problems and it becomes even more stressful. And I know Chelsea is a stress ball about the kids, but also I know that she's health wise. You know, she's got a lot on her mind. So it could be that, you know, with that. It could be that or just could be I got a bad hand or something. I don't know. I'm not feeling me. Honestly, can I tell you this, Shannon? I used to take it personally when it would be those moments where it was, you're not feeling me, but I don't take it as personal anymore. It bums me out sometimes, but I also know that there's something that I'm probably not giving to her that could potentially go on with, you know, with it inside of her that almost even has nothing to do with you. Like you kind of hit the nail on the head and I like, I noticed that at this. I always hate saying period menopause, but I feel like I just, I don't know. I'm like, oh, I don't know what the hell is happening to me. Yeah. And I'm not sometimes I'm not feeling anybody like nothing. Like I just, I don't know. I feel like those moments when I was in a relationship and I could tell my person wasn't feeling me. Everything they did was loud. I don't know if like my senses had, you know, like, I don't know if I could hear things louder, but it was like the dishes were louder. Yeah. Or the footsteps were louder or the cabinet was louder. The refrigerator slammed a little harder. Like every move they made, everything they did was loud as hell. And it's like, it's like, all right, what's going on in there? Like what's really going on? You know, it's funny, Kev. I'm totally the opposite. And I think that would be West's answer. If you asked him how he knew if something was up with me is I like go into a cocoon. I won't like text or be responsive to text. I don't really like to talk. I just kind of do my own thing and remove him from the equation. And that's if he's like very aware. Yeah. Hey, Tia, what's up? It's Mojo in the morning. How do you know something's off? Good morning, guys. Good morning. So my significant other, he is very calm, cool and selected. So it's hard for me to know when he's mad, but me, he knows what I'm mad. My telltale sign is that I blink really, really hard because I'm thinking of cuss words. So I just blink the cuss words. This is so funny. I feel like this comment, I'm not going to forget you. The frequent. So instead of saying the cuss word, you blink it and you think it in your head. I blink it. Oh my gosh. Love you. So it's like, it's a dramatic thing. When the blinking starts, he better duck. He better run out of there. I have some people I'm going to do that to this afternoon and I can't wait. Hey, Tiffany, what's going on? It's Mojo in the morning. Hi. So mine for my husband, I usually sleep on the couch because I have really bad health. And when he's really mad, he'll come and lay on the couch and give me the bed. I'm like, Oh, that's not good. Wow. So if, if your husband sleeps on the couch or stays on the couch, then you know, something's up if he doesn't come right to bed. You know, that's a big deal. I will tell you that there was a long period of our relationship where I would always fall asleep at night on the couch. And I think that was a subliminal thing of our relationship not being good at that time. I believe that you know, your relationship is really good when it's like, Hey, I'm going to bed. All right, I'm going to, I really do feel like that's the case. Now, I do think that you need to have separate time too. I do think that it's good to say, Hey, I'll be there in a little bit or I'll be right in in a little bit. And I think that's good. I actually like, and I know some people may think this is crazy, but if Chelsea says, you know what, I'm going to stay up for a little bit and finish this episode. I like if she comes into the bed and doesn't act quiet, but wakes me up. I know you. I, yes, because I want her to wait, either wake me up with a kiss or wake me up with, Hey, I'm back here. I want, I think that it gives me, it's more of a, what is it called when somebody makes it? No, when somebody makes a, an act that is more like deliberate, like it's more of a, okay, here I am deliberately coming home or coming back and I'm as one of them intentional. Yeah. It's more of an intentional moment. So, Zina, what's up Zina? Good morning, Mojo. I'm in the exact same position as you. Honestly, my partner stays up really, really late. But the only differences is that I'm pregnant. So like my emotions about it are a little bit more intense than yours, but. So question. Yeah, I don't know. Your emotions are you're, you're upset that he doesn't come with you to bed. Why don't you say something to him? I have, I have, I've made it a point. He's just, he struggles really bad and we have a baby already and so he doesn't want, you know, to affect her sleeping. Yeah. But, you know, it's like, okay, when you come to bed, you know, give, give me a kiss. Like you said, like, let me know that you're there or at least attempt to try and cuddle with me or something. Like, I don't even get that. We've been going back and forth and now he's starting to try and make an effort, but it has been an issue for like the past couple of months and I'm like, I need to. I will say this. Not always will it be about you, but it could be just how he is dealing with maybe a stress. You know what I mean? Processing. Yep. But for him and play this podcast for him, you know, you can get it up on the I heart radio app or wherever you get podcast search for this, you know, I don't even know exactly what's that. We'll name this thing, but play it for him and let me just talk to him real quick for one second. By you not going to bed and hearing it in Zena's voice, you're leaving her with a little bit of stress and she's pregnant. She doesn't need it, you know, so try to try to make that effort to go to bed and try to make that effort to be like, Hey, you know what? We're going together as a couple. What's his name? Justin. Justin. I think Justin, you'll find that it will put a huge smile on her face. And women with smiles on their faces are better than with them not with smiles on their faces. Simple math. All right. All right, Zena. Thank you. All right, you take care of yourself. All right. Mojo. Thank you. Mojo in the morning. No gloss. No filter. Just stories. Spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachow on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire.
