How Pain Turned To Power with Jessica Finn - Founder of GPA Activewear

You were big into the fitness journey on the personal side for yourself, but never really looked at it as a way of an occupation or making money or anything of that nature. I worked with one of my best friends, Mom, so you actually got me the job at the law firm. And she was like, Jess, I don't see you doing this for the rest of your life. And I was like, I don't either. Like, I like it. I love learning new things. And I'm very open to absorbing that kind of information. And I was like, I can't sit behind a desk my entire life. But that's not me. I want to help people. And that's what I studied psychology. I was like, I want to help people. I want to be able to like change their lives. How can I do that? Oh, my passion. What's my passion? Fitness. Why do I do that? What's going on? Everybody welcome back to another episode of the state tranquilo podcast. We are doing our third episode here in New York City. We're actually in Staten Island, which is home of my mom where she was born. But, huh? Yeah, exactly. But also home of Jess as well, who is our guest for today. Thanks for allocating some time to do this today. Thank you for having me. I think it was something a long overdue. Yeah. I know we had been kind of back and forth trying to do this some capacity. But I think you got an awesome story to tell, which we will definitely get into. And I'm excited for you to share it. And then you can give us a little insight around New York City, Staten Island food and whatever else comes about. Sounds good. Please give the people a little background about yourself. What you do, who you are. Hi, I'm Jessica. I'm from New York here, even though I don't sound like I'm from New York. I practiced on that. But I'm a personal trainer. I am the CEO and founder of an active or company called GPA active wear. And I'm also a, I guess you could say, somewhat of an influence. But I have a TikTok that kind of blew up. Yes, he did. I give some advice on. So I do that. Some UGC. I don't know the different things, but love it. Yeah, absolutely. Yes, your TikTok. I've seen it. It's blown up and I think. I think that was two years. But with really good reason. And we'll get, we'll get into that because I do want to talk about some of the things that you mentioned on your TikToks and just kind of how you carry yourself in that manner, which I think is, was awesome. And we need a lot more of that kind of like social influencer. I guess you can say. Yeah, right. But it's good because shit, if it's blowing up on TikTok, that means people are receiving, yeah, receiving that well. But before we get into that, I want to get into how you got into the fitness journey. Right. The journey. Right. Because it is, it is a journey. Yeah. So yeah, I used to weigh about almost 175 pounds. And this is when I was about 16, 17. I was in high school. I got into a little bit of a place where I don't even know how it happened. I think it was more so just like my eating habits, not being the best, but I played sports. I was always active. Just a weird fluctuation of rate increase. But I got into a point where I was like, I'm not happy. I'm not happy with anything. I don't want to play sports. I don't want to do anything. So I was like, I got to take advantage of this. And at that time, when you're a kid, you can't go to the gym without your parent being involved. So I quit softball, which my dad was super sad about and reasoning. I've been playing since I'm four years old, not to toot my own horn. Really good. But I was like, I need to really take care of my health and loan behold went into fitness. My mom joined the gym with me. I wanted to find it fitness like a starter gym. Not knowing what the hell I was doing. I was like cardio 45 minutes cardio 45 minutes abs. And I would do that constantly. Lost weight, but it really wasn't I guess staying the way that I wanted to. And then I also like unfortunately got into a position where I was really struggling with my body and I had an eating disorder and it became really hard for me. And I it took me some years, but I got myself out of it. And I found a place where I was comfortably loving food, loving my body, loving the gym, like loving the environment. And it kind of led me down that path. But I wasn't doing personal training. Right. So when I lost all this weight, I was about in college, getting into weights, but learning from my friends at that point. And I was actually going to school for psychology. And then graduated with my degree still not training. I was trying to do like a little bit on the side. But I went to school. And I was like, all right, you know what? I think I'm going to be an interior designer. Interesting. Okay. Gemini. We're never satisfied. I was going to be an interior designer. But when I come home, because I studied abroad that summer after I graduated, went of doing real estate law for two and a half years. Wait, what? I'm all over the map. I didn't know this. If you need a guy or a girl, got you. Wow. But real estate law for two years. And then as I was doing that, I got my certification to be a trainer. Got it. So from that, I was training before work after work, really keeping myself busy. And then I got a job offer at dog pound after that. And that's when I went full force with training. Wow. That's crazy. So yeah, you were big into the fitness journey on the personal side for yourself. But never really looked at it as a way of inoculation or making money or anything of that nature. I worked with one of my best friends, mom, so you actually got me the job at the law firm. And she was like, Jess, I don't see you doing this for the rest of your life. And I was like, I don't either. Like, I like it. I love learning things. And I'm very open to absorbing that kind of information. But I was like, I can't sit behind a desk my entire life. But that's not me. I want to help people. And that's what I studied psychology. I was like, I want to help people. I want to be able to like change their lives. How can I do that? Oh, my passion. What's my passion? Fitness. Why do I do this? It's and it's crazy, right? Cause through the journey, right? That you were on that you you felt like you were overweight. You know, you had a bad relationship with your body and food. And it turned you into what you are today where you're now extremely passionate about fitness. And I, there's a common denominator and all of this, right? Where your pain points turn into power. Yeah. You know, where you don't really see it in that moment. You're going through it. Yeah. Nothing makes sense. You're like, what am I supposed to do? But you kind of dig a little bit deeper. And you kind of go into that pain. Yeah. And it turns out into, you know, something better. And it's it's hard when you're in that moment to realize that you don't even see the way. Like you don't see the light. But you're like, I kind of keep moving forward. Right. Like I always tell people it's like, you need those rock bottom moments. In order to get right back up. It's like your life is like a heartbeat. This is my favorite analogy that I tell people it's like you go up and you go back down up and down. You can't get up unless you have those moments at rock bottom. Because that's what's going to teach you how to get up there and how to be a genuine good person when you're up there. When you realize people around you are down there, you're going to be able to help lift them up. Like it comes with a territory, but it's that vulnerability. It's that fear aspect. You have to be able to address your fears. Absolutely. Without that, you're not getting up there. Yeah, you're going to be stuck. And I'm curious what your thoughts on this. All right. There's like the victim mentality that exists out there. What's kind of your perspective on that? Right. Because people when there are at that low point, they love to kind of place the blame on everybody and everything else with themselves. Right. It's like I'm unhappy because, you know, my boss thinks we're unhappy because it is. You know, I'm working 20 hours a week and I don't have time for my fitness or whatever the rationale is. But they like to put the blame elsewhere. But don't like to look at themselves in the process of, okay, how can I get out of this uncomfortable situation and get out of the better. But is it uncomfortable because it seems like they are comfortable. Because if you were uncomfortable, like I don't want to be here. Right. How can I get out of this? So you'd actually force yourself in some way or another to surround yourself with better people. Sure. Yeah, your boss might suck, but you're doing your job. If you don't love your job that much, go find another job. Exactly. You have you have that power to make the choice. That's that's a means where you can really snipe out of it, right? Where you have people don't realize like to have the power to make a choice. It could be a scary-ass choice. You know, and you don't know what's really on the other side. But would you rather make that choice to potentially get out of it or just be stuck with where you're at by not making that decision, right? Yeah, it's miserable. It's going to kill you. It's going to lead to depression. It's going to lead to maybe a needing disorder. Who knows what it'll lead to. But it's going to lead to, I think, a larger problem in the long term rather than just a little bit of fear that you might feel along with. It's going to reflect if you want kids in the future, like how you're around them, like are you around them? True. You're miserable at work, you're coming home miserable, you know, like your relationships are with people, your family, your spouse. It's, it all adds up. So I think especially like your job is one of the main things that you do every single day. That's your number one priority. So you got to love it. Absolutely. Or at least try to love it and make the changes. But for you was like that turning point when you had the eating disorder and you kind of just like the bad connotation towards your body, where was that turning point that you felt like, OK, I'm on the other side of this now. I could see myself feeling better. I could see myself, you know, thinking better, probably more mental clarity, all of that. I can't really pinpoint the moment that I was like, all right, we got to change things. But I guess I was just surrounding myself with better people, maybe feeling a little bit better with the schoolwork that I was doing, like knowing my path of what I kind of wanted to do. In a sense, it's like, you find yourself, it's going to sound so cliche, you find yourself and you're like, I was I ever doing this to myself, I was I putting myself through this. Like, obviously, it was battling my own demons and dealing with my own issues that I, I guess studying psychology really helps open my eyes a lot. But, you know, you find at the end of the day, it's like what we put ourselves through for who, you know, like for other people's approval for other people to notice us. Like, I know for me, it was like, I felt like I was in the shadow. I was like, I bullied a lot when I was younger, like, I had girls that would draw cowaters on my stomach on pictures on social media. Like, it was bad. So like, for me, it's like, I know how it feels to be on that end, and I never want people to feel like they're on that end. So unfortunately, I got to a point where I was low, but I don't know, I just snapped out of it. I was like, I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to live a happy life. I want to help other people that are going through this because I knew so many people that were also going through it. And they wouldn't even say it because you can tell when someone's going through it. I think you can go through it too. But, you notices like who gets up after they eat, you know, like who runs in the bathroom or who has the puffy cheeks. You can see little things with girls, especially as well, limited to just girls that have eating disorders that you can pick up on things and you're like, Dan, I don't want people to go through this. Like, if I can help somebody, if I can inspire someone and be like, listen, I know what you're going through. I know you're not talking about it. But I'm here if you need help, I'd rather do that. And I kind of went to the approach of learning how food is beneficial for you and the macros of it and how we use it as energy. I mean, it's such a beautiful thing and my relationship with it today is so different that I am so willing to talk about it and so open to talk about it because I see so many girls that go through it. Social media, especially, I'm going to be skinny. You want to be this skinny doesn't mean healthy. You know, that's the biggest thing it frustrates me so much. I don't want to be skinny. I'm like, no, you want to be healthy. I tell that to people all the time. I'm like, it's not about being skinny or being big. It's like, just be healthy. Make conscious choices, eat better foods, eat whole foods. Yes. Press that, no, you're not. But you really could do your parts to be better. I think we get a little bit, especially on the food side, you know, we get a little bit, like, complacent and lazy with it sometimes. Everything's processed. It's easy. Again, it looks back to the job, the job aspect of like your work a miserable job. You don't want to go home and cook. Exactly. What's easy? Like, I'll pick up fast food. The worst thing you could do. Absolutely. You think about it and this is a war. I know we're like, he's coming back to set my own part too. You think about it, right? You sit out of debt. Modern day America, for the most part, right? Is you sit out of the desk from 9 to 5. You probably have about an hour to 2 hour commute where you're sitting down, whether you're in New York and you're sitting on the subway, or you're in Miami and you're in your car. But you're still sitting down in a transportation, right? So you're talking about eight hours plus commute, you know, 10 to 12 hours a day sitting down. And then what's the first thing you do? You go and you get fast food. You sit down, you eat it, and then you plop on the couch and you do it again. And again, and again, and again, and again, and people do that for 40 years of their life. Imagine why there's so many problems of depression and anxiety and obesity and diabetes and this and heart problem. Right? It's like, we're not doing anything in our part. Nothing about that is empowering. And I get it. You have to make a living and you have to feed your family and you have to pay your bills. That's the society with living and that's the social responsibilities that we carry. But at what cost to our overall mental and physical health? And then they make it so hard for us to afford things like mental health going to a therapist. Yeah, that's I think we're going to get on the other side of that curve sooner rather than later, right? You have to assume that like insurance will get involved in that. Right. And hopefully hope with that and they're starting off for more programs and things like that. But even that, it's tough, right? Like finding the right therapist, like finding someone that you can actually emotionally connect with. Right? It's not like, okay, hey, you, you're going to be my therapist and call it a day. And that actually like steers people away from doing therapy because they'll try with somebody like, I don't connect with this person whatsoever. I don't this is freaking me out. I actually have a crazy story about a therapist that I went to one time. So I found them online who's close by my house. And the reason I picked them was I'm very big into like meditation. Yeah. And kind of like Western medicine, right? Love. And he was big into that too from when I was reading based off his biography, right? So I go, I show up. And I'm like excited to just because honestly what I was looking more of what looking for more at the moment was. Obviously a little bit of like the therapy, but more like someone that I can connect with in terms of like that curriculum and learning more about how to practice meditation at a higher level. Right? So I'm like shoot, this guy can like coach me up. This guy can help me when I get there. A guy opens the door and he's got like glasses on, right? And then he's kind of got something like in his hand and he goes, Oh, come on in. I have no idea what he looks like. Oh, God. Right? It's like, I come on in. I sit down. The guy comes into the room too. And I see he's got like, he's like using his hand. I don't like. This dude's blind. Amazing. Incredible. I was like, this guy is blind. The guy that is about to do my therapy is blind. Why not? And then I sit down. He's sitting in front of me. And I'm sitting on the other side of the room. And we start talking and he goes and he starts well. He's like, I don't know if you noticed, but I am blind. And I like, I didn't notice. Yes. And he's like, are you okay with that? And I in the moment, I was like, obviously, yes, right? Right. But I'm not sure. I mean, I mean, he might have gotten that before, honestly, you know, which I don't know if that's fair in that moment. But I sat there and did like the 40 minute session. And after I was like, holy cow, like that was a pretty insane experience, right? Like sitting there with a guy that I can't see me, but is hearing everything that I'm telling him. And I always think like if you were down like one sense, your other senses is. I was just going to say, you're probably even better than every other therapist out there. So I, I want to like two, three sessions with him, right? I didn't end up continuing with him because I just, although I felt like he could feel me, I couldn't really feel him because I'm like, I just know he's not like seeing me, you know? And I'm, yeah. And so, but I say that story because I'm like, here we are trying to find therapists and you really don't know what you can get. I think the infrastructure can be better of finding like a match that makes sense. And not through, you know, online platforms, I do think those are good. Like I've used better help in the past before too. And they're really good concept, right? Makes it accessible, right? Which is I have to have the problem right there, right? Like people can just drive to go to see a therapist. You can go, you can pick a therapist that works for you and you can talk to them online. Which is good. I think there's a ton of value there. But you have to find what works for you. And people have to realize that therapy is not like, like it's not taboo. Like you can go and see a therapist and it's okay. You're not clinically crazy. There's nothing wrong with you. There's a big stigma around that. Well, that's a whole other. It's like, oh no, I don't need therapy. You need therapy. You need it probably more than others. You really need therapy. On one of the podcasts that we just did, we were talking about that with men's mental health overall. Guys are not very vulnerable. No. And they're not willing to open up a lot about a lot of problems. I'm one person that's like that on myself. And you know, I've learned to be better about it. You know, just like not telling myself have to figure everything out on my own. But also saying like, shit, if there's something on my mind, you know, say it. Absolutely. And not be so worried about what, you know, what the outcome is. It's just like being true and authentic to what's going on inside. And to your point, I don't think guys do a good job of that. No, it's sad. I know a lot of men that really struggle. And it's like, listen, at the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you. And this goes back against what I mentioned before. Things get carried into your future. So your future spouse is receiving that. Like believe it or not, when you have sex with somebody, like you're transmitting that energy, like, hey, frickin' men. She's going to feel it. He's going to feel it. Whatever you're going through, your future kids, it's genetic. Like it's in your DNA. If you don't address these things, like you are going to affect your people that are around you. What does it represent? It's so sad because you guys genuinely, like they're such amazing men that you could just look into their eyes. And you're like, wow, like I know you're going through it. And you're not telling anybody. And that's like the hardest thing because it's like a dark, deep soul that you're just like, you have life. I know you have life in there. And a lot of women, like I've been guilty of it. We'll try to help a man and like, try to steer him in that path. And like we go through it in a sense of like trying to help. And there's only so much you could do. That's exactly what I was going to say. It's like you want to obviously help, especially if it's someone you care about, or see the potential of them like getting to the other side of that. But reality is you as a personal human, you know, you have to take care of yourself. Absolutely. And I think, you know, there's a lot of different things that everyone can do. For me personally, like what has worked for me tremendously was meditation, like really getting into deep meditation and just like seeing what the hell is going on inside, you know, feeling, understanding emotions, the dissolving of the ego, and really starting like the concept of that and being like, what is the ego? Why does it exist? What is it in the perception of like self, right? Yeah. And when you start looking at that, I mean, you almost create like a disconnect inside yourself, where you're able to see everything and you realize everything's temporary. And you know, we we like to hold on to things, we hold grudges, or even on the other side, like you can't cling to the good things that happen in life, right? Because the moment that breaks, then like that's your identity, right? Yeah. So it's, I've studied Buddhism. I think that's, you know, a concept that I think is extremely intriguing to me. And I think being in the United States, we don't gravitate to a lot of those ideologies over there. No. And I think we can. I mean, I'm not saying go be a monk. Right. You know, I'm going to see you in a month. I'm like, where'd you go? I mean, listen, when I want, when I, when I was like in my deep meditation days, not that I wanted to be a monk, but I did think about going to Thailand and like doing a month long retreat over there. Why not? I might still do it. Why not? I know. I mean, right now I'm in the middle of this. I'm already on pause. But it is 2025. I think it will happen one day because I am intrigued. Like I just know the concept of self discovery is so important. Yeah. And to your point, I think about the future of my life and carrying that with, you know, my kids and my significant other. Yeah. And just my friends, you know, everybody. Right. Because I've seen the components of like what they call generational trauma. Mm-hmm. And it's, it's a real thing. It is a real thing. And I don't think people address it enough. And like they'll blame themselves too. Like why am I so angry? Why am I so frustrated? It might not be you. I can know it sounds crazy to people. That is very true. But it's true though. It's genetics. It is. And you can't blame yourself. You could be like, all right, listen. Let me take a deep breath here. Yeah. Let me catch my breath. Let me be in the moment, which a lot of people can't do that. They can't be present. That scares so many people. They're always, again, like you said, thinking of the past. Thinking of the future. No, no, no. Have you read the book, the power of now? No. Oh. I gotta read the book. You gotta read the book. I'm gonna listen to the audio book. Whatever you prefer. You have actually, as a matter of fact, I have like 60 copies in my house because the authors, foundation, I sent an email saying, you know, I love this book. I have a podcast. I want to give it to people. That's awesome. So I like. I like. And I didn't bring it. I literally have 60 of them in my house. Six of my house. Yeah. He said, no, none for just. Did she met at the adult? Well, you know, you know, you know what I'm actually going to start doing. And I'm not doing it with you unfortunately. But for every guest that comes out, I'm going to give him a copy. All right. I guess you just come back tonight. I'll come back. I'll ship it. We'll figure it out. But yes, I highly recommend you read it. And I will get you a copy because the concept of that book is about that. Love it. You know, not being stuck about what happened and holding on to the pain points of your past life. Right. And not being so fixated on what could possibly happen in the future. It's all about being here and now being present, being in gratitude in this current moment and only worrying about what's here right now. Yeah. And to me, that's that's where the power is, right? Because if you're stuck two days from now or two years from now or what happened to you last week, you're never going to be able to take advantage of what's here right in front of you. Or even appreciate, right? I mean, I don't know if it's ever happened to you. But like, have you ever been on a trip and you're like, you know, you're still caught up in like, okay, what are we going to do later today? What are we going to do here? What are we going to do here? And then the trip goes by and you're like, shit, I don't even know. Like, what even happened on the trip? Yeah. And it's like a blur. Absolutely. And I started realizing that I'm like, dude, I got like, like slow down, be here, appreciate what's happening because life's going to go by and I'm not going to, I'm not going to even notice. Like I remember being in after reading that book and like, I would open my front door and like, the same tree was always there. Yeah. But it was greener than it was before. Yeah, it's being so mindful. The flower that was there, that's always there was more yellow than it's ever been before. And I'm like, the birds that are always tripping in the morning were louder than they've ever been before. And it's just like, you're super hyper aware and you're like, we're probably walking by things, people, everyday of our life and we just completely miss what's actually right here in front of us. Well, because everybody's stuck in a digital persona. It's like instant gratification. Put the phone down. Look around you. Make eye contact. Got for a baby make eye contact with somebody. It's like, oh no. I'm so scared. Pick up your phone to call. We were on their phone so much people are so scared to call people. I call people all the time now. Like, hey, what's up? I love it. I love it. I love it. Me too. I'll face time someone and I'm like, I must really love you if I face time you. But like, I love voice notes. My friend is like, up. Here we go. Another voice note. I'm starting to understand the concept of voice notes. It's hard for me to just get on the phone and do it. Right. But when I get on, I'm like, fuck, I can't even start doing this. It's way more efficient. It's way more efficient. Yeah. I'm like, all right, I got every information I needed to get. And then I can say whatever I need to say, and we're done. Exactly. Simple. Yeah. It's a voice mail through what I got timeless voice mail, I guess you could say. It's not crazy. It is cool. Let's see that. So obviously fitness is a big component of your life now. So what does your kind of like day to day life look like today? So for example, Friday is a little bit easier, but I wake up a little bit later. So sometimes I wake up at 4.30 in the morning for a few lines, or at 6 am. But my today was 9 am to start, which isn't bad. So I'll be up at like 7, you know, the door by 7.45. Nice. Drive in a car for an hour and a half because school traffic is horrendous now. But you guys know that. You've experienced it. You've experienced it on the way here. But which is crazy because it's not even that late. A little car fire. A little car fire. You know, a little hiccup on the way here. But yeah, busy. I'm back to back. So I like to book up my clients if I can back to back in the city. So I give myself enough time to get from point A to point B to point C. Hit them. And then come back here, do more clients, and then do my own thing. So you usually work out in the evenings? No. Mornings. Or a midday. Or a midday. It's usually like midday, kind of like 11, 30-ish to the one. I like working out that time frame. No one's in the gym. Exactly. It's great. Love it. And then I get my time. But you know what? Sometimes, as a recent, I've been so into running, I've been doing Pilates. I'm kind of like steering away from the strength training as much as I used to do. I used to be really into it. I got into a car accident two and a half, almost three years ago. Oh, well. And I had to stop training for a bit. And that's actually how GPA came to be. So I stopped training and then I was like, all right, I can recomp my body now and try something new and ever since then, because I injured my shoulder and my elbow. I was like, can't lift is heavy. Yeah. Can't lift is heavy. And I still to this day don't lift is heavy. But I was like, you know what? I prefer this. I feel better. Like today, then I did when I was lifting so heavy, going crazy, burning 800 calories a day. Like it was so much taxation on my body that I didn't even realize. I feel it. I honestly, like I have felt it. I got injured same thing at the time I was running a time and I had tore my calf. Yeah. But it was like a, it was a wear and tear injury. It was, you know, probably like 30 miles a week and then pickleball twice a week, then golf. This is recent. Once a week, this was pickleball. Yeah. Oh my. I was like, you're going to be like, maybe you lost the six months. No, I had to get more than six months ago. No way. He was like, no, it's like, no, no, no, no. It had to. So what I wanted to do was do the Miami half marathon. Okay. So it was like summer of 23 when it happened. Yeah. But it's summer of 23. Those are not season goes by. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So it was right before season had started. Yeah, because we showed up to the golf course with like my leg cast on my crutches. And I was like, I'm happy to say exactly. But I remember after the fact that I was like, at that time, I wasn't doing a ton of strength training. I was just really running. So it was very one dimensional. Yeah. And then I started, I started getting into the weight room after like I started therapy and then therapy turned into the weight room. Yeah. But I could see like my body was not recovering the same way, you know, I was starting to lift heavy again. And but like my shoulder would hurt or like my hip, you know, and it was like shit, like the amount of maintenance that I had. And then I'm playing golf twice a week, you know, so it's like the amount of maintenance that you have to put on your body with a, like you said, you're burning 900 calories a day, then you're doing this and you're doing that. And then you're working and you're moving around like to me, you have to find a sweet spot because you could think you're doing everything right. But like to your point, your body's hurting. Yeah. Like you're not feeling right. I'm like 28 going on 80. Yeah, literally. Damn, why are they like getting up? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like making noises to get up. I'm like, dude, come on. I'm like, it's getting colder. I'm like, oh, my, oh, this is bad. But it's crazy. So you're saying when you've made that kind of transition more to, I guess like more body weight, pilates, that your body has felt a lot better and has responded better to it? You know what? I've been lifting weights for so many years that I think switching it up is really important. Again, it is wear and tear for sure. But at the end of the day, it's like as a woman, especially our bodies are always changing. There's so many different cycles that we go through four phases every month. Like we, as we get older, like I'm in babybearing years, my body's changing completely. That's very true. And a lot of women don't realize that, okay, between specific age ranges, your body's already ready to have a kid. So like your hips are getting wider. You're holding onto fat more because you got to hold and protect the baby. That's what we're making here for. That's so true. Like, come on. Yeah. But they see it as negative. So like I do things that I make me feel good. They make me feel better. Like I love to go run maybe twice through times a week. That's not to be crazy miles. I'm not like a long distance runner, but it just makes me feel like I'm doing something that makes me feel better. Pilates, something new that I got into everyone's bodies, bodies, bodies. But it hits those like small muscle groups that I don't normally target when I'm doing string training. I've done a couple of Pilates classes. Yeah, they're intense. They're intense. But it depends on what you do and what class you're taking. And I don't know. I feel like it's nice to switch things up. Like I agree. I got kind of, it's redundant like that sense of like you're always lifting the same weights, which is I don't hate it. I love it. Of course. But to switch it up a bit, to come back to it and be like, I love this. You know, like it's nice to do that. Yeah. Oh, sure. I think you need a little bit of like diversity in your life just to keep them the mind sharp and just keep you a little bit on your toes. Like you're running as a kid. Oh my God. Yeah. Me too. But thanks for sports. You run all the time at the basketball school. Well, I'm like, yes, this is fine, whatever. But I hated it. Now I'm like, I want to go run. Yeah. What shoes do you use to run in? I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I like them more for a shorter distance runs. Yeah. For like road running or trail running. They actually do have a very good trail shoe. Oh good. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I gave it was crazy. I don't know anything about running and now I know everything about running. So if you ever have questions or if anybody has questions about running shoes, I can definitely answer. But the shoes is very important. I realize that is key to long-jebety. Your mattress? The mattress is crazy because- Those two. Yeah, you spend, you know, hypothetically eight hours a day for the whole life. If you're looking, if you're smart. Right. Let's call it six. That's another thing we fail as I think Americans sleep. Everyone again, we're all in or even out of America. Do you have problems like falling asleep? Are you an easy- Honestly, I do. I wake up a lot. Okay. So like I might fall asleep fast, but I'll wake up in the middle of the night a few times, which is horrendous. Yeah. I'm like right at two o'clock and waking up. I'm blessed. Knock on the wood. I just knock out and it's got to go. I'll put- We'll be like in the air, be on the show. You want to watch a movie or something or we'll put on a movie. And like five minutes into the movie, I'm already like, Damn. Yeah. No, see I'll stay up. But I'm like going to sleep. Fine. Wake up in the middle of the night. Three, four times. Damn. Damn. It's one of the nice, restful sleep. I wish that for everyone because it is amazing. Probably bad, but I don't. But- So with your whole fitness journey, you started your own apparel line. GPA. Yeah, yeah. Tell us a little bit about that. Where the in-spoke came from on that. I'm sure there was a lot of thought that went into it. Yes and no, honestly. No, okay. It was pretty cool because I originally was doing the booty bands. You know those thick bands you put about your knee. Yes. So when I got into my car accident, I was like, All right, I have to be a little bit more smart here because I can't train right now. So that means I'm out of commission for making money. So I was like, okay, what can I do that's within my niche still that I love that I can expand on? And I was like, well, I'm always in the active way. Why don't I kind of look into that? But at first I was looking into the booty bands. So I was like, okay, this is easy. Right. Find a supplier, put my logo on it, boom done. But then I was like, why am I going to stop there? Like, why not do more? And that's the fear aspect that I, like we go back to that. People being fearful and not wanting to take that chance on themselves. And I was like, I really have nothing to lose. I got into a car accident a couple of months ago. I'm, A.O.K. Everyone was A.O.K. But your life can change like that in a second. Absolutely. So why not take that risk? Why not take that chance? So I actually trained a girl that went to Dog Pound with me. She was one of my clients and I love her. I still talked to her this day. She's a fashion designer in New York City. And she's a sweetheart named Daniel Guzio. She posts all the time about different brands, things like that, like how to get yourself started as a fashion brand or any person wanting to go into fashion. They reached out to her and I was like, listen, I really want to do this. And she gave me some advice of how to scout places and people overseas, try fabrics, find people that I can work with. And it went from there. So I kind of have thanks to her for like gearing and like putting me down the right path because without her, I just wouldn't even be. And I'm wearing it right now. Like this is one of my goals. Yeah, no, it looks super good. Yeah. I mean, that's one of like the complexities when it comes to a pair was obviously quality. They got that. It's got to look good. Yeah. We want to feel good in it. Like I would, it's easy to just go to the, you know, t-shirt printing shop across the street and put something up. But you're not going to get the quality that you want. Absolutely. And that's something that I'm very big on because as someone that was in this industry for as long as I have been, I've been wearing leggings for 10 years now. I'm like $100 for a pair of leggings that's insane. And as a kid in college, I was like, I can't afford that. I mean, I can. But I don't want to be spending so much money on this. So my whole thing is I want to make high-quality products for affordable prices. That's going to last you. You know, you're not going to rip them when you're pulling your leggings up or you're not going to feel like you're popping out or you know, they're not see-through or you could squand them. You could sweat in them and still feel confident. So finding the materials, finding the suppliers that I like, like it's, I think people think it's just like, oh, you're putting your logo on something. Right, exactly. No, no, I'm doing it down to the stitch. Like I didn't like the way that this was fitting my arm. It was a little too loose. So I was like, all right, we're taking it in a half an inch. I'm changing the stitching on this to be a little bit more. Oh, wow. It goes down to the smell. I'm very anal. So I'm not releasing anything that I know somebody else won't like because I won't wear it as a consumer. That's crazy. That's pretty awesome. And being in the position that I am, I'm like, I wear it every day. So I'm like, if you wear it every exactly, it's better than me, like 100%. And then I was just like, if you can't even wear your own product, I think that says something. That says a lot. But it's like at the end of the day, it's like, we have such fast fashion, which I bought stuff. I bought stuff on TikTok shop. And like, let me see what these people are selling. Yeah. Zip ups, three dollars. I'm like, okay, how do I compete with that? But at the same time, I tried on. I'm like, okay, it's frying. It's really thin. It's not sustainable. You know, people, people may buy it, but you know, within a month, they're probably like, why the fuck did I buy this? Right, let me go buy another one, because it's already garbage, but it was only through dollars. Exactly. But I think it comes down to the fact that, like, you need to be so sure of the products that you're choosing. And like, as a small business, it's really hard. I think backing yourself and being so confident, it's hard. I said here sometimes, like, am I doing the right thing? Am I going down the right path? Like, should I have started this? Should I keep going with this? And I'm like, why am I stopping? It's in these moments. Like, again, rock bottom. I don't like, no, Jess, you're going to get there. And having a supportive community of people is key. Like, my friends, they are so supportive of me, even if they don't buy something, they're like, are you doing okay? Like, how can I help you? Like, do you want me to come to a show with you? Like, can I try something on for you? Like, can I post this about you? It's major. And people don't realize that as a small business, networking in that sense, hey, this is my friend's business. Like, she's got great stuff. I was a world. He means everything. And I take note of everything. Every single person that's ever bought something from me supported me. Like, I'm the one-man show. Like, I'm doing everything. I'm packaging everything. I'm shipping everything. I take note of everything. And I'm like, I'm so grateful for each and every single one of you. Like, I've had girls purchase every single thing I've ever released. And I've named products after them. So I named products after people in my family or like, really inspirational women that I come across in my life. So like, I had a few girls that bought every single piece. I was like, I'm leaving this one after you. And they're like, what? Like, why me? Why not? What did I do? Why not you? But that just shows how selfless they are. They don't even realize how impactful what they are. Like, what they're doing is to you and people that are going through things like this. Exactly. So it's like, we will do this. I feel the same way. When I see people share or podcast or something like that or even just comment, you know, whatever it is, and they show up to our events. And I'm like, you're a real one. Like, you don't have to do that. Like, no one's saying, like, you have to be here. No. Or you have to do what you're doing. Like, you're doing it out of the kindness of your heart. And because you believe in what we're doing. And I'm like, I'm extremely grateful for you. And then on the other side of it, you know, it's like you make it hypothetically, right? And you achieve the goal that you wanted to achieve. There's like a little subtle, like a little, one of those middle fingers at the people that, you know, you're like, I remember you. Yeah. Like, uh-huh. He said you were going to buy something and you never did. No, it's not even that. It's more like, you know, they don't believe in you. They're like, what is this guy doing? You know, he's just trying to do this or he's trying to do that. I'm like, well, you just don't see the vision, you know. So I do have a little bit of that. A few of those. Yeah. Of course, but you know what? They're the flame in your ass. 100%. That's what I'm saying. It's a little bit of a spark. You know, obviously, find motivation in yourself. You know, I think that's my biggest source of motivation is doing something that I believe in, right? But having those little haters along the way, he doesn't hurt, you know? It matters. Like, even on my TikTok, the amount of people that comments, like, such a negative things. But I'm like, I don't care. Yeah. I'm not sure. Like, I need that. Like, give it. So how do you reply to those? Because I have a system for those type of things. It depends. Like, sometimes I'm like, just bless your heart. Like, I'll just say something like really sweet or like. I do. I kill the kind of. I love it. I'm like, you're an asshole. So I'm going to be a super nice person to you. Like, I understand. I see your point of view, but I don't agree. Yeah. Simple as that. That's true. You know Gary Vee? I do. Yeah, he's big into it to that. Like, he'll, you know, someone will be a troll. Yeah. And he'll just say, so many trolls. Yeah. But you know what? I was a group on Twitter. So I'm like, you can't. Oh, that's true. You can't tell me anything. It's so worth it. I'm like, but I've already experienced some 12 years old. Like, you can come at the worst of the worst. I'm like, eh, all right. Yeah. Yeah. You've seen everything. You've seen everything. But I can't handle it. No, of course. No, then you see that it's a, it's a war going on in the comments. Like, I'm like, oh, I can't. I don't know for me. I've gone down the rabbit hole of just like looking at the dialogues. It's people. I don't like the comments with the best section. I'm like, whoa, what is going on in here? I'm so weird. It's like a war better than the video. Yeah. The only time I'll maybe get a little sensitive is like somebody comments about the dolphins. And we're like, yo, back off. Sorry. I don't have enough to comment about. No, no, no, it's okay. Like, does an Alex Earl date one of them? Yeah. You're short. Yeah. Hey, it works. I'm putting the dolphins on the map. I'll take it. Listen, balance. I 100%. So I actually want to get into the TikTok thing. Right? You have been on TikTok now for a few years. And that world for you has evolved. And you've built a big following there. Yeah. And it has come through a way of very similar to the dialogues that we're having today. Yeah. And the fact that you're trying to help people and you're really trying to shift the perspective of maybe how people think about themselves, think about certain obstacles that happen in life. Yeah. Can you kind of talk about what it is that you do on your TikTok and the impact that you feel like you've made on there? Yeah, which is weird to say because you know, you get yourself behind a camera and you're like, all right, I have the control of putting my voice out there. I don't know why I always felt like my voice was something that I wanted to use and impact people the way that I can. So my own personal stories or even people that have talked to me, I kind of switch it up a bit so people don't know what's about them. Got it. Or like I'll talk about things that others have confidentially said and of course, private to me that I think other people can relate to and I try to relay the message in a way that reminds people that we're human, you know, at the end of the day, nobody's perfect. We don't live in a world where everything's like happy, go lucky, but you got to make the most of it. So like I try my best to kind of bring uplifting messages to people or just to remind them like it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to have moments of negativity and struggles and downward moments where you feel like I don't know what to do because you're going to figure out what to do and you're going to find the people that are going to be around you supporting you and do you need that reminder, hey, go get help. We're like, go talk to somebody like here you go. And here's that reminder, but I think we had live in a very toxic, very fast-paced society where people are very nice either. People are horrible and they hide their keyboard warriors. So they hide behind their phones, they hide behind their computers and it's like, well, I could say whatever I want. Like I can be whatever I want. And that's the scary thing is like you have kids on these apps. You got even adults that can't, like I said, can't handle it because no person was ever made and created to handle such fast-paced, like constant gratification. So it's like I kind of want to flip this script and I want people to understand that like it's okay to be this kind of person. It's okay to have these viewpoints that are maybe not as popular as everybody else or maybe you're a little old school or you live in a different lifestyle. Like that's cool too. Like live your life, be yourself, be happy to be yourself. Find yourself in the process. Again, that's the part of the journey is finding yourself and finding the people that gravity towards you and if you outgrow people, you outgrow things, that's okay too. Like there's so much societal pressure to be something specific that everybody's starting to look the same, be the same, act the same. And I'm like, for what? It's the concept of the comparison, right? So we see what's on social media, we see what's on TV, and it's like, I want to be that. So I'm going to do everything in my power to be that. Yet no one is any self-identity and it goes back to what we were talking about earlier, that self-awareness, right? It's like just be you, be who you are, do what makes you happy, what feels authentic to you, without having to try to impress anybody, right? That's another thing. It's like, I got to do this so I can get this person to tension. I got to do this so I can be like this person. It's because they're the cool ones. So I want to be like them, but where in the process are you asking? It's like, what am I going to do to make myself happy? Right, is this making me happy? Is this who I am? There's a lot of the time too, it comes down to that where the persona that you give on social media, I like to believe that who I am online is who I am in person, and I'm just going to be myself. You like me great, you don't, I don't care. Exactly. That's it. At the end of the day, you're not paying my bills, you're not having babies with me. Right. I don't care. Your opinion really doesn't matter. But if you are in the scene, do you point at me or you agree with me? Awesome. If you don't, blessings. Literally. I wish you the best. I hope you the best. Scroll, keep going. That's where the power is. When you react to other people and you play that comparison game, you're giving your power elsewhere. You're giving it to other people. Where, in your case, like you mentioned, your power is within you, you're not going to let anybody mess with you. No, and there's not once in my life where in this aspect of TikTok, where I was posting a video that I really care where other people thought. I was never like, I'm going to remove this video because they're going to think X-Wine's in like, no, it's okay, this is how I feel. And again, if you agree, cool, if you don't, it's all right. And you know deep down that you're helping people, which is the biggest thing. That's, I think the main thing. I think that goes back to my psych degree, working with so many different people with fitness and health, different spectrums of health, who's overweight, who's underweight. Like, you see so many different people, you get to appreciate people for who they are. Because at the end of the day, we're all the same. We're all made up the same day. Absolutely. And nobody is different. But yet, this individuality is so far fetched in today's world that I'm like, no, like, be proud of who you are. Sure. Be happy to be who you are. Express it however the hell you want to express it. Like, life should be simple. We make it so complicated for no reason. It's something really to do. It's so great. It's so stressful. I'm like, oh my gosh, like I don't even, like I meditate at night. So I'll listen to like meditation music and stuff like that. And I'm like, all right, I need to like, you need a deep compress, yeah? I mean, I'm practically a people's therapist. Exactly. So I'm like, sometimes I leave sessions, I'm like, oh, yeah. Like that was a heavy one. Yeah. And it wasn't even from lift and weight. So it was from like the emotional, like, I need to. The release, yeah. And I'm blessed that I got to be that person. That's part of the trade. Part of the job. But you know, in today's world again, like online, I see such negativity. Who's fighting? Who's making comments about another, like, why are we doing this? Yeah. Like, I feel like there's nobody talking about positivity and spreading that. Not enough. That's for sure. And like the very fair, like, few people that you do, it's like, they blew up. And I'm like, thank God they blew up because we need that. Exactly. I mean, I hope one day, like, I get to that point where I have enough, but I'm like, I want to be. But you want to really reach, you know, reach the masses and the people that need it. I remember early part of doing this, and I'm sure it's happened with you. The messages that I would get from people. And they were heavy. Yeah. Like, I mean, obviously I can't say it on camera, but I would be like, woof, okay. Like, how did I do this? Yeah. I was like, whoa, how did I get this out of you, you know? Because obviously you're, I'm not even that close to you. You know, you're reaching out to me on Instagram. So when those things happen, and I'm sure, as you've seen it yourself, you realize what you're doing is right and it has purpose. And it's that, it's that concept where, if you've helped one person, that you've done your job, you know, it's not about helping millions of people. If you can, amazing. But if you've helped one person, you've already done a ton. And like, knowing that I have, like, listen, I could die tomorrow happy. Like, I know it sounds a little bit morbid, but I'm like, I, I'm sure, yeah. I really am so proud of the life that I've created for myself. And what I've went through, because it, I think people look at me sometimes, and they're like, oh, she, she's got this or she's got that. And I don't act like that. So I know I hope people don't. But people think you got it all together. And it's like, you have no idea what the group is. Yeah, sure. You have no idea the dark thoughts I've had, like, it's scary. And like, that's the hard part. It's like, I can relate to so many different people. Do I talk about it often? No. People like, I see them or I'm training them or like, I know they need help. I'll reach out to them. Like, hey, listen, I got you. One time in place for that type of relationship. Absolutely. You also don't want to budge into someone's life. Because that could be really, really bad. But it's, it's necessary. It is. So before we wrap it up, I have to ask the question. OK. All right. OK. What is like the iconic food spot in Staten Island? OK. If I'm making my way to Staten Island, you know, I left the city and I'm over here now. Where am I looking to eat? You have to go. OK, there's two different versions of it. Because the main one is called royal crown. OK. It's like a giant sandwich. Like if you come to Staten Island, you got to go to royal crown. But it's also another one that's a philinchino. OK. Philinchino is like the off brand, like, the connected version of royal crown, which I actually do love philinchino a little bit better. There's one right over here. I'm just saying. But you got to get a nice, like, chicken cutlet sandwich or prosciutto, like, mozzarella. And what's that I love if you want to not come for me if you were Italian? Staten Island, we say with it all, but the best. And like a nice pastry, which they also have. I'm sold. They also have it. Are you Italian? I'm Sicilian. Sicilian. Yeah. My dad's Irish German. I'm not Sicilian. Oh, wow. OK. And were they born there? No. So that's where another thing. People might come for me for it. Because I'll prevent you say you're Italian and you're not born in Italy. They're like guns to your head. Do you speak Italian? No. Boom. Yeah. That's the Italian mafia of our journey. But I just, I love being Italian. But Staten Island is super Italian, right? Yeah. That's what everyone says. Oh, Staten Island. When I told someone that my mom was from Staten Island, they're like, oh, you're Italian. And I'm like, no. But I mean, I guess by association, maybe. By association. The blessing is now done. Exactly. I'm like, I guess so. Well, thank you so much for doing this and actually setting this up. Shout out to Justin. Justin Sikari. Yeah, who put this together? Yeah. Yes. Awesome spot. If you're in Staten Island and you need some studio spaces, this is a great spot. Awesome, guys. Honestly, if you need anything, they are your guys. I mean, we met him today and I can already tell how impressive he is and this place. So definitely. Yeah. But thank you again for doing this. I'm glad we got to do it. Yeah, finally. I know. I know. I know. I know. God knows. Yeah. But yes, thank you. And I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you guys for tuning in and we will see you guys on the next one. Yeah.