What Changes In A Relationship After Kids?

Listen up. Huh? That means you. Yes, you. We know you're pointing at yourself. When it comes to party power games, we've got a place made for all sorts. From the experts to the drama queens. It's me, the JC. The finance bros. Look at those stocks, lads. We'll stick with slots. It's what we're good at. And not forgetting you. Yes, you, the one listening. Because at party power games, we've got all sorts of games for all sorts of trickles. eligibility rules and terms and conditions apply. Please come by responsibly. ATonPlus, CamelAware.org Welcome back, Ada. You're for loving songs. Having a baby. Welcome back. I got the full singing parade. That's right. What a treat. Jordan, that's sort of Jared's seat now. Yeah. Keep Anthony. I relented the skinny chair to you. Wow. What a treat. How are you feeling? How are the babies? How's Ronnie? How's Mike? How's everyone? How's everyone? Everyone's pretty good. Yeah. You gotta wait for the podcast. Don't talk to me. Hello and welcome back to the UUP podcast. I'm Jordanne Ibrahim. And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordanne. Welcome back. I'm back. You're here. Oh my God. Oh my God. Holy shit. Wow. Oh my God. That was amazing. Oh my God. Wow. I thought it was going to be way quieter than that. I love it. Oh my God. That was shock. I like the, you guys like looking at each other and then you just did it. It was very impressed. Oh my God. I almost had a heart attack. You guys are a well-oiled machine over here. I took my cholesterol medication today. That was crazy. Oh my God. Wow. I feel very welcomed. Thank you. Yeah, welcome. Da, da, da, da, da. Yeah, I walked in. I got like a. Welcome back. I'm like Ovation and everyone was clapping. It was amazing. Yeah. We're excited you're here. I know the listenership they've been begging. They said, get rid of these loser guests. We hate them all. I feel like, you know, I read the comments. I feel like they're been hit or miss. Some people, sometimes people are like, are really into them. They're, it goes both ways. It definitely, you know, again, well, I don't know. Some people are like, like stay away, Jor-Gonna. Right. There's some people. Well, it is like an emotional roller coaster. You know, some weeks, and for me, you know, having to tend to this ship captain alone, I feel like a single mother. Does it feel just like kind of like J-Trade? No, it did for a minute, but it also felt like, you know, I don't want my biggest fear is like everyone's like, oh, we're gone. You know, Jordana's gone. It's over. Jump the shark. And you're like, no, we're still here. We're still doing our day. Well, with this segment before, you know, we're going to make some money off of this comeback. We're going to make some dough back. You know, listen, you're here to make the dough. Our next segment is something new and different sponsored by season three of Euphoria on HBO Max. We wanted to do something big for their big comeback. It's been five years since the events of season two and the stakes have never been higher. So it got us thinking. We hear a lot of stories on this show from people in messy, complex and surprising situations, but we don't always get a follow up. Like any good cliffhanger, it's hard not to wonder, but what happened next? The segment is what are you up to? And we're going to give updates on our lives. We are. You're going to hear something we usually reserve for the subscribers. Now you guys are going to get everyone gets an update. That's right. So it's been three months, which is like crazy. Like I haven't gone three months without seeing you in eight years. I know. It's crazy. It's just crazy. Yeah. And I don't, I've, for me, I've never missed an episode of this show before events. So it's been weird. It's been, how do you feel? How do you, how did it? Okay. So the babies are healthy and doing well. We want to check it on the babies. Lucy and Charlie. The babies are wonderful. They're, they're just great. I mean, they don't do that much, but they're kind of just sitting there. Yeah. They're sitting there. They're eating their, you know, they, but every day they do like a little something new. So that's fun. Like they're starting to like smile and laugh and all that. Do you ever have a day where you look in the mirror and you're like, you're a fucking mom? Like, do you ever have that moment? Kind of, like kind of every, every day. Every day is a, oh my God, I'm in charge. It feels very surreal. I don't also like zero to two feels like I have two kids that feels like I've been doing it for a while, but I haven't. Right. So that's kind of the weird thing. Two children in that huge house, enough room for 10. Oh my God. And you have your hat on. I got my hat. So if you're watching on YouTube, uncle J train is in the building. That's right. Uncle J train. Okay. I have a question for you. Did your brother say anything about the hat? Was he like, what about my kids, future kids? Well, now I have the hat for when his kids arrived. You've already prepped. I'm going to train to a lot of kids. Okay. It's not just, let's not take it. Oh, I wasn't. I thought it was like a special. It's a little special for you. I got the hat. Okay. Who else are you? How many? Uncle J train, you know, you have a lot of children that call you that. Does anyone actually call you that? Any children? They don't, they, there's a couple where the parents are trying to push it on them, but they, you know, they're not confident enough. They're not like, you know, like adult enough to be like, uncle J train. Like it's not like that. And I'm not around enough. It's like, like, open house. You'd have to like take them somewhere. Yeah. Right. I'd have to really be a part of their lives. I think I think right now they're probably not sure of my name. So they're like, oh, like they would do it how I do it. That's my uncle. Yeah. I guess. Yeah. It's a little much for the amount I'm around, but to your kids, I'm uncle J train. Yeah. We're going to make sure we put, make them do this from day one. Yes. So how's Mike as a dad, how's you and Mike? Well, let's get into the relationship. Yes, let's do it. Are you guys doing well? Yeah, we're, we're doing great. We're very well supported. My extension of that question is, is there something you wish you would have looked for in the dating process that would have informed you for or your happy worked out? You know, like you can't really do that when you're dating. You're not like, you kind of like, oh, they think they'd be a good father. They're responsible, but is there anything specific that you, you go, oh, thank God, this worked out with Mike? Yeah. I think it's, there's a lot of that. I think, and I don't know if I necessarily was looking for it at the time when I met him when I was like 27, but now I'm looking back and I'm like, this is, this is a great quality to have in this person. And neither of us are big or like huge going out super. You're not party animals. We're not party animals. We're not like, I mean, we, we, we have our moments, but like, we're cool. Yeah, we're cool. We're like, do shit. No, but we don't even like really like, we kind of like being home. And I think that's very helpful now because you spend a lot of time at home. Right. So that's been, been nice. Like he's not like, oh, I need to go drinking with my friends or I need to like get out of here. I need to do any of that. Besides, you know, trying to run the marathon. Is he still running the marathon? No, he got rejected, which was great. Oh, you know, he put, he said that so easily. Yeah. No, he applied. It's like a lottery. Oh, so you don't have to like qualify. He just like, they didn't have like a looks competition. No, it's not like personal. That's why I don't feel bad just saying it like that. I was like, yeah, no, you just like a lot of, apparently like they take a very small percent of people over the New York city marathon. Okay. So I wouldn't know anything about it. You wouldn't think of this on going to watch. It seems like they let any, you know, any, any barnyard animal into that race. It's like random, but you can, there's ways to get like, to get in. I think if you've done it before, there's a whole bunch of stuff, but if you're just like any, just any random person applying, there's like a pretty small chance that you get accepted. So he was rejected. I'm not going to pretend I wasn't. You're doing a little fist pump. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what's funny? He's healthier, which is interesting. Okay. Well, he's got something to live for now. Now he's got something. Not me. That's right. Not you. You, you know, whatever. But it does take a lot of energy. If he dies just dating you, he's like tragic, fun, sexy, tail. Yes. He dies with two twins, twiblings. Right. I saw twisters. Twisters. Yes. That wasn't mine. Someone who, someone did a question box. Someone said, have you thought about calling them twisters? And I was like, I love that. I love twisters so much more than twiblings. Same. I'm not wearing a, you know, Uncle Twister hat right now. Like that was a missed opportunity. Yeah. Because if you're, listen, if you're new to the show, I don't know, we like to like keep people updated. Sure. Jordana has, has, has twin, twin-ish, you know, twisters, which is one baby with a, a surrogate and then had a baby on her own afterwards. So you have these two. So they're three weeks apart. Yeah. But so they're not technically twins. They're technically sisters, but they're twin-esque. Man, they have a great. Fun fact. Fun fact. And it's built in. They never have to worry about a fun fact. That's true. It's a really one of the greatest gifts you could give someone. Absolutely. Can you, you know how many times in my life they go, and you're going to say one thing about yourself that is fun and interesting and new. And you're like, I have no hobbies. I have one like an inch and a half longer than the other. You would say that like it, like when they, in the ice, ice breakers, as they say. As I got older, that would be my fun fact. I had a dog that was a model. Okay. And named Stoli. Stamed Stoli. Yeah. A dog that was a model. That's why. A model dog. Mine was always like, again, I was like, oh, I have eight siblings. That was always. That's an easy one too. That's great. Yeah. I want to, like, but it would be like a dark thing where you're like, do I have anything that makes me interesting? Right. Like whenever they first ask it, you go, oh my God, I have nothing. I'm a loser. I'm just like everyone else. You know, like, especially when you're like eight. Yeah, right. Lucy and Charlie are all set. They're all set. What an inheritance they've gotten. I made them interesting for they even were born. Great work. Yeah. That's right. Thank you. So, okay, so you and Mike are doing well. You're happy that he doesn't go out and you guys are homebodies that kind of like fits the first couple of years of a baby thing. Yeah. And he's also like a little bit, I would, I always say he's like a little bit of a square. Okay. That's how I would describe Mike. I mean, I say it to his face. Yeah. It's like, but it's like a good, that's a good thing now. I'm buying him a hat. The square. I mean, I'm like a little bit more, you know, a little type B, a little bit more like less rules based. Right. He's a little bit more like he's on the schedule. He's very much like things should be done the way they're supposed to be done. Jordana's just sitting outside. We go to the house. She's sitting outside, leg up on the wall, smoking a cigarette. Hey, mama. Fuck off. No mama here. Yeah. That's basically how the whole thing works for sure. But yeah, I think, um, yeah, we've been getting along very well, but I also think it's, it's funny, like one of, obviously it's not a secret. It took me a while to get to this point. Like I had a lot of issues, like having the babies, but one of the silver linings of that is that I was able to like set myself up for this period of time where I was very well supported. So I've had, you know, a therapist, a psychiatrist, the baby nurse, like just the house all done. Like it was, um, A full team. Yes. It's been very like, I've had time to prepare both financially and like emotionally. So I do feel very well supported, which has made the whole process like more pleasant for both of us. It's an interesting thing, you know, like the, you know, if you're two young kids running around with your heads cut off, it's a little different than we've been preparing. The nest has been laid. You know, us as a couple, we've had trials and tribulations together that like, I would think, you know, the, the, the issues that came with having, trying to have a kid. You've dealt with each other in ways that like, Oh, the diaper needs to be changed is like small. For sure. And we've done. Yeah. So we've had a couple of like couples therapy sessions to sort of align before they were born. Okay. Really? Yeah. And it was helpful. We like talked about everything from like the actual birth, like what we needed from each other to like the first few weeks after. So I would recommend that we just brought up. Is that brought up as like, you know, we need this or is that brought up as like, this would be a fun thing to like get us ready. Like I'm trying to think of like, how was that sold to one another? I was something that was recommended by his therapist. Okay. Yeah. So his therapist was like, Hey, you know, you guys are about to have a baby. It would be good to like get on the same page. Yeah. Going into this. To align on like what, you know, anything that you're worried might come up or like any, you know, boundaries or anything that you want, that you want from that person as you're going through labor or in the first weeks after, because it's supposed to, it can be a very like emotionally intense time. How many sessions? Two. Is it like a package? Is that like something they do? Or they like, Hey, it's your pre, that'd be a great thing for a psychologist listening. Like, Hey, couple of therapists. Predatal package. Predatal pack. Yeah. Yeah. Um, no, I think it was kind of like, let's see how the first one goes. And then if there's anything that we like feel like we didn't cover, let's do another one. There we go. I love it. And that was, and yeah, it was really, it was, I think it was nice to kind of have a space with like a, an objective person to air something like, Oh, like what are they? Like, like, when are your, your parents are going to, are going to come over or like, or like anything you're worried that, you know, I want to make sure I have my space. They've got all these people coming in and out. Are they starting to interrupt? But I guess I'm going to, I'm going to ask questions that maybe the audience would have. Are they giving you hypotheticals? Are they like parent, you know, you got the baby parents want to come over. It's 2pm on a Sunday. Right. How do we both feel about this? I don't know how it's kind of brought up and then you both give your answer on a page and then you compare notes. I'm trying to remember. No, it's more of just like an open discussion. I think facilitated by someone who also knows exactly like who knows almost more than we do about what the experience is like in those first few weeks and months after. I guess it would be important that that marriage counselor has children. Yeah. That's got to be a big part because so that they know what to ask, what pressure points to like. Yeah, I would assume either has children themselves or has done has enough experience talking to people who have it that they know like the expectations. Okay. This is great. Yeah. This is, I'm sure for anyone who's pregnant, great idea. Yeah. I think it's worth it. As a relationship that you found value in it. I found value in it. I just think it's nice to like have a facilitated time and space to like talk about those things. And I mean, we were on the same page about a lot of stuff. We didn't like fully like transform our whole relationship, but it was nice to have an opportunity to talk about like, what do we want? I told you, like we have different feelings about like childcare and how things like and caregiving and that is like an easy open space to kind of talk through anything where you might have different views and kind of come together in the same way. Where did you guys differentiate the most during these sessions? What's one thing you guys disagreed on in those meetings? I wouldn't say we disagreed on anything. I think it was more like maybe the other person hadn't thought of it where I'm like, even like something small, like when we're coming back from picking up from getting Charlie, like from the airport, we were getting like picked up by his parents and they were like taking us back to our house and they'd been watching like our dog. It was kind of like on that day, I was like, I'd like to go home and like not be entertaining. I don't want your parents over. Or like, or like if they're being very, you know what I mean? Like if they're being very helpful, it's not even I don't want them over, but it's like I want to like decompress after this whole thing. I don't want to have to raise my eyebrows, which is a thing. Like your parents come over. I don't want to go. I don't want to say please and thank you. Right. Like even a small. Kind of. Yes. Or like, or like they can come up, you and your parents can watch the baby. I would like to go nap without feeling rude. It's funny we were thinking about the love is blind thing with the napping. I was thinking about that a lot. Right. Well, you got ahead of it. But then they were. It was great. They're very helpful. The three of them watched the baby. I went to go now, but I didn't want to have to feel like I was being rude. They're like doing something and then I'm. Politeness out the door. Yeah. And again, with family, you don't have to be as polite, but within laws, there is some measure of, you know, courtesy to them. For sure. Especially when they're like meeting their grandchild for the first time. They're picking you. They're doing you a favor. They're picking you up from the airport. They're, you know, watching your dog. I don't want to be like, all right, bye. Bye guys. I'm like out of here. I also don't want to get in the car from the airport. And you know, your mother-in-law is like, let me see that baby. You're like, get out of here, wrinkles. Don't touch her. Like, you know what I mean? You want to set the tone. Exactly. It's kind of like all small stuff that sort of has to do with, with like that kind of thing. Like what do you. Disagreement is more like, I'm just letting you know. Right. A feeling that would be tough to let you know in that moment. Right. For sure. And I think like there was other little things like, but oh, I was like, oh, in the hospital room, like if I want you to like go ask the nurse for something, I know he like hates asking for things. He hates like being like at all confrontational. And I wasn't like, I want you to scream at all the nurses for me. But I was like, I was kind of like, if I need something, I need you to like, if I want to push back on something, I need you to like back me and also like be more, be like more aggressive than is your, right? Generally how you would be. Your default. Yes. I need a little bit more. I need you to be a little bit of a warrior for me. Yes. If something comes up, I like want to know because I know he hates doing that just that like if I need it to be done, that he will just get over it and do it. Do you have a note? What was his notes for you? What was his notes for me? I'm perfect. Other than, other than keep doing what you're doing, kid, it's got to be tough for him. You're with like a pregnant woman. Yeah. And you're like, well, here's a few things I've had on my mind. And you're like, what? You know, like, I don't know. I mean, I'm going by the sitcom, you know, hack, you know, view of pregnant woman, but you're like, like every sitcom had the woman like crushing the guy's hand, you know, like breaking his hand during the delivery. Right. You can't ask anything. You got to walk on eggshells. Well, he's like, can I run the marathon? Is it loud? I'd love to train. I'd like to take care of my heart. No, you're going to die right away. But it is funny. Like we have, we have, we have shifted into a couple where like he's like, do you mind if I go for a run? And part of me is like, you don't have to ask me. Like I'm not your like mom. Right. But part of me is like, oh, it's nice that you asked because I might actually, you might not be allowed to go for a run. Right. Well, things of, it's not that, I guess it goes from I'm not your mom to I'm your business partner with these two investments we've made. That's a great way to look at it. Like you're, you're putting in for your PTO. Right. So I do have questions from the audience. Let's hear it. Okay. So how has marriage evolved since becoming a family of four, but actually you're a family of five. Let's not forget Ronnie. Can't forget Ronnie. It becomes a lot, like you said, a little bit more like a business than it does to people just like having a great time all the time. We have a good time. And that's why I think it's so important to be with someone who you can kind of like just be around a lot. Just like, do they not, like, can you be with them like all the time and they don't annoy you is almost the lowest denominator of like what you need in a partner. What's something you've learned about each other in this new chapter? Any, any, any new, new insight into Mike, anything new that you've learned about yourself? I mean, he's a great dad. He like likes to be, he wants to be involved in everything. And I think that his, I've told you, he's always had like this little bit of like a sort of traditional cheesy sense where he's like, he loves Valentine's Day. He loves Christmas. He like, he likes doing stuff is going to be like all the dad cheesy dads. Yeah. He's like really excited to do all the cheesy dad stuff. And I'm more excited than I thought I would be too. I'm like, Valentine's Day, of course, from putting on the, the onesies. Right. Right. Well, I don't know. I hate when people say they're a great dad in the first year. That's true. I feel like they're a better. Yeah. Not to, not to. Fair. No, it's fair. Right. Like, I think you're, you can be a good husband in the first year, but being a good dad, like. Yeah. Not to listen. He's good. This will come back to haunt me. I guess it's, it's fun. It is unfair because like, I feel like being a good dad just seems like, oh, not being miserable when you're around your kids, being, being happy to be around your kids. That's like the bar for a good dad. Right. And especially in that first year, it's like, good dad, what doing? I mean, he changes diapers. He's like, um, don't, don't we all got to change a diaper? I don't know. Apparently like dads in the fifties weren't doing that or something. I don't know. Low bar. Yeah. Love it. He comes with me to all the doctor's appointments. He's like, um, yeah, he's, uh, he's hands on. Yeah. Okay. So what surprised you most about taking time off from the podcast? I mean, this is all about us. How did you, what was the surprise not being on the show? I had like some FOMO. I think there was a sense of that. Like, I think there was a fear of like, I think I've talked about this a little bit on benefits. I was a little bit afraid of, of becoming obsolete. And I think that's probably, um, relatable to any, any mom who takes like maternity leave, like, are they going to still need me? When I come back or like, is it, are they going to discuss? I was like, again, I was a little worried you were going to do too well without me. Oh yeah. Right. We didn't want that. Right. We don't want the time. I didn't want to be Tom. I didn't want to be Tom Brady out of here. Right. You know, or whoever the other guy is. Drew Bled's right. Yes. Drew Bled's out of here. Yes. Yeah. No, that was never going to happen. It was going to go too well. People love our dynamic, the show, what we built here. That's what this show is all about. You know, like anyone could have, anyone could have a dating show. You know, diet and exercise. That's like all dating advice comes down to. It's the care we have for the listeners and the, and the subject. So I think, okay, so someone asked this, your kids are Jen Alpha. We're already seeing how different Gen Z is from how we dated. How do you think dating will look for them? Do you imagine apps will still be a part of it? This person really got ahead of themselves. Seriously. Well, actually they're Jen Beta. Jen Beta? 2026 is the first year of Jen Beta. It's the new, it's we're just starting a new generation. I don't know. We got to change that name. Oh yeah. And that's fear is not going to do. Not great for the incels. Yeah. I'm a part of Jen Beta. Jen Beta. Yeah. How do I think dating will be different for, I mean, how do you think? I don't know. Thankfully they're not dating yet. Yeah. I think listen AI, they'll be dating an AI robot. Yeah. I hope dating still, I hope people still speak to each other. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's like a fear like there's, that there's so much screens around everywhere or that there's less human connection, but they have each other to look at. It's a, it's a beautiful thing. We're all very happy for you. Charlie, Lucy, Mike, Ronnie. Yeah. How's Ronnie doing? We know that there's been some, he's had some adjustment. He's tough on Ronnie. He's had some adjustment issues. I'm trying to get him. I, I. Ronnie the dog getting neutered and having two sisters come into the fold at the same time. Tough timing. It's been a tough time for him. Yeah. I feel bad for him. But he's the shout out Ronnie. Shout out to Ronnie. He's the best one. He's either the best or the worst. Okay. And depending on the minute. Is it good to have the dog around? Do you feel like, is it a burden more than it is a pleasure? Like, do you see a light at the end of the tunnel where you're like, the dog will be great in a, in a few. Yes. That's kind of what I'm thinking because it is a lot. Like I understand why people don't like to have puppies while they have new babies. It's a lot. But I, again, I've heard that they mellow out after like two or three years. You're going to get, I mean, honestly, you'll have one picture of Charlie and Lucy standing next to Ronnie, you know, or riding him or whatever, doing something with him and you'll go, this was all worth it. Yeah. And he's, he's got a special place in my heart as a narcissist. I find that like it actually, he does give me more almost like attention than them. Right. He's giving you something back a little bit more. He's like obsessed with me. He follows me into every room. Like the kid, like at this age, at this age, they're like, they don't really like know the difference between me and anyone else. Really. So I'm not their favorite person yet. Yeah. Or not like not their favorite. They don't really have one, but with Ronnie, he's like, he's pretty into me. So this is, I completely. From an ego, from a place of my ego, he's still plays a big part. This is great. We are all happy for you. Uncle Jay train. Yes. We clap for you. Yeah. And we're, and we're coming to Florida. So you're going to meet them. That's when I'll meet them. You're going to be there. Maybe you should film it. Yeah. V, we should get you down to film. Maybe you should babysit. Yeah. I am not going to babysit. Babies at the two of them. That would be a great. How many subscribers by, by April 26th to have Jared babysit the two of them alone for one night. One night babysitting. Yeah. I'm going to change diapers and stuff. You got to do all of it. How funny is it? How many subscribers? Let's just get, let's give them a challenge. You guys aren't going to get it. What are we on YouTube? Yeah. 22,000 on YouTube. If we get to 25,000 by April. Oh, well, that's, I'll do it. Well, we're going to walk before we can run. All right. If we get to 25,000 subscribers by April 26th. We will film me babysitting Charlie Lucy. For one Ronnie. Not Ronnie. He's not coming. I can't do all that. He's not coming, but for one night. One night. We're going to film it. You guys get to go out on Atlantic Avenue and Del Ray and leave me at home. I'll be waving. Yes. With the two babies. I would, I would pay good money. Love it. So I mean, it would have to, because you'd be the babysitter. How much you charge? I'm going to have to check in with a couple teenage girls to see what they're charging. You would definitely. And so funny, my neighbor was like, Oh, did you hire a nanny? Like I'm looking for a nanny. Um, and she's like our parents age. I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, I'm looking for like a nanny for like myself. What? For like to do things around my house. It's always your neighbors like in her sixties. Yes. I'm looking for a nanny. Yes. I'm like, I don't know if it's called a nanny. I think it's called a companion. I think it's called a jiggalo. She's married. Okay. I don't know. I'm looking for a young man to. She's a cat. Take care of me. What are you looking for, ma'am? If you know anyone, you're the CEO of Betches industry. You know a lot of young people. Bring it out to come live with me. You okay? Yeah. So. All right. Well, let's get to your questions. Right. I mean, my check-in is, is, uh, upon us, I guess. Let's do it. I have so many questions. It's been a while. I have a, I have a girlfriend now. I know. And that's, you know, she has a name. Can we call it? Can we give her a name? Emily, we can, we can refer to her. That's her real name. That's her real name. I wouldn't, you know, well, this is part of the weirdness of, you know, the whole story is not, I don't want to like, I don't want to be the person that's like, our story is so interesting, wild, amazing. Our story page. How's your, our story page? The, our story page. How would, what would you give it? Well, I would give it a 10 because it's, you know, as I mentioned on benefits, um, I talk about her in the book. Yes. Walking red flag, which you can see behind me on YouTube. Um, there's three stories that were told about when we dated. We had dated a few years ago and we were in the, you know, the talking phase and the dating phase and it was getting more and more serious. And then I basically was like, I'm not ready. Uh, this isn't it. I have like a little pit in my stomach. I even called Dr. Naomi. I'll re, I remember it vividly calling Dr. Naomi to like get advice and talk to her about it. And, and I'd never done felt that way again, not to like, I don't want to like glorify the tail. I kind of look back on it and I'm like, what was I thinking? Why couldn't I, you know, push through when right now it feels very easy. You know, I'm going to meet her parents and her sister and her niece tonight. And, and you know, she, and it's funny, like the weird part is about saying her name is people like, are you wearing the hat? Uncle Jay, it's a little presumptuous of me to walk in uncle Jay train. Um, yeah, I can't wear the hat. Call me Aunt Ficky. So yeah, it's been, but it's, and it happened pretty quick cause it was like out of the blue, I, you know, it kind of started and. Well, where'd you, how'd you meet? We met at a show three and a half years ago. She was attending one of your shows. She was at the cellar and a comedian was on before me dealing with a heckler and the heckler and they were making fun of the heckler and she was like laughing so hard. She was like crying in the front. At the comedian making fun of the heckler. Okay. And then he made reference to there's a single Jewish guy going on next. You should get with him. Like something like that. Oh, that is a good meat. That is a good, our story page. It is quite a story. Well, then it goes on and on. Like, and so then we meet basically through the comments of the heckler video that got posted through the comments because they posted the heckler video. Like this is like the beginning of posting clips and they're posting clips. And you know, she sees it and she, and then there was a DM sent and it didn't go anywhere. Did you send the DM? No. Okay. And then, but it didn't go anywhere. And then we ended up matching on hinge going on a date, having like what I remember to be like a great, one of my best first dates. Where was it? Uh, the wine bar in the West village. Um, next, I think it just closed recently. It's look it up. You know where, um, Apollo bagels is that wine bar? I think it might have closed. Uh, that coffee shop is right in front of it. That's like four inches big. Jordan, you probably don't know about it. It's not, it's not a long island and called Starbucks. Ouch. So Mike and my first date was at a bar in the West village. What was it called? That must be where you go on a good first date. That was called Highlands, but which also closed. Yeah. Sogno, Toscano, it's still temporarily closed. Sogno, Toscano, Toscano, Toscano market and wine bar. That used to be a kind of a good way. I would say it was a good date spot. And I remember having this like really amazing date and then it took us a minute to like connect again and you know, it was one of those things that like I was dating in the way I was dating at the time, which is like, not necessarily like ready to for a full commitment. Right. And having to realize that along the way. Like and kind of going person to person, no matter how great the connection was, I was still distracted. Yes. And you know, then the, you know, the special came out at the time, 37 and single. I'm distracted by that. And there was a lot of that going on. And then I ended up ending it and we didn't talk for like two and a half years. Just no conversation. And I would, we still followed each other, but like and I, we'd follow each other. And I'd see them watching my stories and kind of have these moments and it would make me think about it. You know, and I was doing a lot of comparing. And then they reached out because I was going, you know, I was going to be in their town for when I did a show and they're like crazy, but just wanted to check in. Maybe you want to get coffee. Yeah. And I was like, and I wanted to text them. I had mentioned to you. I remember. Yeah. Maybe I would text them and that's no bullshit. Like I, that's the hard part is like. It's funny, like a lot of this stuff and especially being on a dating podcast where like I would advise for the texts to be sent. I know that my advice is consistent. Our advice consistent that if you're thinking about someone and you want to send them a text to go get coffee and it's been a couple of years, why wouldn't you, I would, I would give that advice. So it wasn't like I saw the sex was like, whoa, what a fucking crazy person. You know, like I was just like, I was like, kind of upset. I was like, I kind of wanted to send that text and I wasn't really. Would you have sent it? I don't know if you would have sent it. I don't know. I don't know if I was, uh, had the balls. I don't know. I was, I was really afraid of coming back into someone's life and then having to like unbutton that shirt again. Like I, I didn't want to be a dick. You know, I, I did, you know, not to, I'm not trying to make myself into a hero. I'm just like, I'd rather not know than have to deal with that. Appreciate it. And then when we got coffee, it was like, it just kind of was like a rush over my body of, of calmness and feeling excited and kind of like seeing how happy they were and being like, yeah, that like, don't fuck that up for them. You know, did she know who you were when she saw you, a comedy seller? Like, did she know, knew of me, did she know of your work? Sure. A little bit. Had she listened to the show? No, I don't think so. Never. Okay. I mean, it's so far away now. You don't remember, right? I don't remember those questions being asked, but I know that she was familiar ish, but not like, not like a super fan. She hadn't messaged me 10 times before to like be like, Hey, I think we'd really a good match, which has happened with other people. Was she following you? I think she was. Okay. And did you discuss like when she reached out to you again more recently, when you got back together, what was her? Like, what was she thinking? Like, what was her intention when she reached out to you? Her intention was just to see how everything was to check in. Okay. This wasn't, if anything, it was me. Cause like we had this conversation. So we get coffee and the coffee was in, and she was like, it was purely a catch up. Like, and what became very weird to me and something that I'll acknowledge and admit to is how much more the her watching my stories meant to me than it had meant to her to watch. So she knew things ish about my life. But I was like very much like seeing a story she'd watch and being like it imprinted into my brain seemingly more. Right. I haven't asked her about that, but like, I, I don't know if I want to, I don't think it would be fair. I don't, you know, I, but every time I would like, she probably watched your stories also, assuming like you would never even know she watched your stories because you have so many followers. Right. But I saw it every single time and I, I can tell when she muted me, she wasn't watching as much of them. Like when we first ended, I was muted, but then I could see when she would check in. Right. And like, I'm talking about like, I went to, like, there's so much stories that happened between when we dated and now, but I felt like she was there the whole time. You know what I mean? Like I, I, I was, you know, I'm talking to her about Australia. She's like, you, oh, you went to Australia. Oh yeah, you were planning that. And I'm like, I was like, yeah, I put up like 30 million stories from there. Again, I'm being, it's embarrassing to say this, but I think this podcast was started because there's always that one person that could be like, no, that's stupid. And I'm like, no, it's not stupid. It all matters. And it's all real. So like, I just remember being on, and I told this to her, but I didn't say this at the time in the beginning. It was like, and I went to, you know, I went to Australia and we went to Cannes. I'm like, but Cannes feels like it's a hundred years ago that we went. Yeah. That is a long time ago. But that was something that she like, oh, you went to Cannes. Like, tell me about that. And I'm like, I can't believe I have this full story. She doesn't know a lot to tell her. Yeah. But I always felt like she would know it. And so we go, I'm like, do you want to, so we're having coffee and catching up. And I'm hearing about her life, how happy and how well she was doing, you know, and I'm like, and how bright she looked, you know, and I was like, because I was like, do you want to go get something to eat? We go get something to eat. And then it was like a 45 minute wait to get something to eat. And then the, and then we were like, let's get coffee while we wait. And then like, it kind of, the question's got a little deeper. Okay. And I kind of like broke down to her, you know, I had this like kind of breakdown. Like public. Emotionally, like, okay. Public. I'd never like a crying tears, all this stuff. And just about how much I'd thought about her. And, you know, honestly, I don't even remember what she looked like during this. Like I, I was just like very like caught up in letting her know that. Right. Cause I just wanted her to know, you know, that I don't know why. And, but I, especially cause I'd held that in, I, you know, I do a podcast where I talk about my life and dating every week. I don't think this story made sense to tell on a podcast for me, you know, at the time, before this, I'm saying it wouldn't be fair. I do try to have some, you know, people, I, I don't know what people think, but I, I think you can only, you say what you can. This is an entertaining show. This is supposed to be entertaining. And I'm not doing this to try and like, and also I was trying to get over it. I was trying to like move on and not compare. Right. So after this, we connected pretty quickly. And that was that. Yeah. So I don't know what else I could, uh, could say. And I mean, I had encouraged you to reach out to her like throughout the years, but I think it felt like there was always like a hesitancy. So maybe like she needed to do that to kind of like, if you, if you reached out, you might've felt too weird about it or something or too, or too much pressure to do anything, probably. Yeah. I don't know. I, I, I definitely feel I'm in a different place now than I was then when we first dated. I feel really good. That's great. I, uh, got tan. How does she live in the same area as you? How do you, how are you working? I mean, we have, we're figuring this out. Yeah. We have so many episodes to like fully get into all of that. Um, but I guess that's the catch up. Yeah. It's crazy. I like went on, went on maternity leave. I came back. You had to, you have a girlfriend. Well, I didn't want to, you know, I don't want to like steal your thunder. No. But we did name the relationship Lucy Charlie seven. Nice. Love it. Yes. You know, that's, I'm honored. No. Uh, yeah, it's, it is funny how quick, but that we always knew that I knew that like once it's, once I was on, are you going to like move in together? Like, we haven't crossed that bridge yet. No, we can keep that. I like, I'd like for those things to happen. Like, you know, I think like the difference now, like I, I do, I don't feel like I'm playing catch up with them, like with her. I don't feel like it's like, you know, there's, there's a fear of like, I guess when you go back with someone, the fear of like, just, do they trust you? Oh, that was my question. Thank you for even, for starting it even before then is do you think, and I guess I'd have to ask her probably, but like, is there, do you think she has a fear? Like he left once he could leave again. Sure. I would, sometimes I can kind of feel that. And I, I'm, I try to be, you know, you said something about the, you know, some, a similarity to connect your pregnancy and the babies to this is like, this is when I kind of have this opinion that at 41, I should be a good partner, you know, or better than I would have been at 31 or 21. You know, like there's lessons I've learned. There's a lot of things I know, like I can't act like I don't know that, hey, letting someone know that you've dated before, like, Hey, I'm really enjoying this and I have a, like I feel really happy here and I don't feel any of that fear that I felt before letting them in on that is like something you learn along the way. I wouldn't know to do that at 30 maybe, but I know to do that now. You know, I know to be like, Hey, to know the new ones in the context, like to give assurance, like, Hey, the context of us getting back together, I might have to let them know that like, I don't have a lot. I don't have any fear here. Right. You know, and I think I've been trying to do that and I could feel a little bit. She doesn't have to just wonder. Right. Yeah. And in the beginning, like, That's great. I could feel, you know, and I was like, I could feel like a little bit like moments where I'm like, Oh, this is the person that I, you know, want to date. Really go in on. But then there's, I was like, Oh, this is the person that's like maybe holding, figuring me out and where my intentions lie and my fears and if I'm the same guy before, like, but I don't think I was a work, you know, like, I think, you know, something I'm going to like, let myself relieve myself of is I've never been, I've never dated dishonestly, like, you know, I never dated someone thinking, I know I don't want to be with them forever, but I'm going to keep in this because I want to keep fucking. Like it was never like that. That the, the, the mean version of it, there's the nice version of like, I know I'm not, there's not forever, but I don't know how to end it. And maybe I should keep going a little longer. Like that happened. But I don't want, you know, I had this idea that like, I've learned, I've learned lessons about how I want to be. And now it's easier to be that person. Again, like when we, when we hear from people, my boyfriend's the best guy ever and all these other men fucking suck and every other guy I dated sucked. No, the guy you're dating made a decision that he was really in for this. Right. And now he's really good to you because that's how it should be. Yeah. You know, so it's, and all those other guys are going to be really good to someone else and you're out there saying how shitty they were saying what a piece of shit they are. Right. And again, there are pieces of shit. I'm not saying that everyone. There are definitely. There's definitely pieces of shit out there, but I'm just saying like this. I comment and Spotify if you are one. Right. So I drag on. Thanks again to HBO Max for sponsoring this segment. They got their money's worth today. Seriously, I have so many more questions, but we have endless amounts of episodes to do in the future. So I'm going to get to all of them. The show will go forever. Yeah. You heard it here first. Never leaving. Euphoria is back for season three. Five years later, the characters you know are navigating power, faith and ambition in the real world. It's bold, visceral and genuinely unlike anything else on TV right now. Don't miss the third season of Euphoria starting two time Emmy winners in Deia, premiering April 12th on HBO and HBO Max with new episodes every Sunday. Okay. So Jordana, welcome back. We're going to do, let's get into it. We, we got a show to do before we do. I'm on the road. I got, I got road. I'm still doing stand up. You know that you didn't just like, uh, become a house husband. No, I'm not. Just a house husband anymore. No, I do a lot of different things. I listen. I do. I do stand up. I do impressions. I, if you're listening now, what's the day now? I do voices. You know, Mrs. Dad, but a lot of voices. What's the day today of this episode? April 1st, April Fool's Day. It was this whole relation was this is a real relationship, right? Oh my God. Yeah. No, I'm not in a relationship. I'm actually single. Psych April fools. All that sweet stuff about learning and loving and becoming a new person. Made it up. Stupid. Can you imagine that would be so funny? Confetti things again. I would be so funny. Oh my God. Girl friend. Oh, please tell your mom's not to DM me anymore. That's our first fight. The April fools love it. I love it. I am going to be in Tempe, Arizona this weekend. St. Louis, Missouri, come to St. Louis, Norwalk, Connecticut, Vegas, Las Vegas, Nevada, LA, Los Angeles. Got to sell that show out. That's for the Netflix as a joke festival, Jacksonville, Austin, Texas, West Hampton Beach. Ooh, maybe you'll come there. Yeah. OK, West Hampton Beach. That's fourth of July weekend, July 5th. Fun. So that could be a fun weekend. I would. OK. And then I'm going to Portland, Maine. I'm going back to Portland, Maine. I love Portland, Maine. So I'm going to be all over this great country of ours. Come to a show, Jaredfree.com. Also, the book is coming out. April 1st is my 16 year anniversary of doing stand up. You know that? Wow. I've been doing. I've been doing stand up. You started on April Fool's Day. That's very apt. A fool for doing it. That's what I said on the day I did it. Yeah. 16 years of comedy. Wow. So first thank you. So yeah, you can go see a 16 year veteran of stand up. Did it every night. Yes. And then his first rodeo. No, that's a message to all you go into other people's shows where just trying this out. Yeah, you get what you pay for. This is going to be a 16 year act. Yes. But your tickets are still affordable. Very affordable. You get what you pay for. But my tickets are very cheap. Wow. Yeah, you can. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I fucked up that whole thing. Listen, also the book is in pre-order. I am so excited to get my grubby little hands on one. I've got to get you. I've been waiting. I saw Sammy post a story of one and I was, Mike was like, wow, Jared must hate you. You gave Sammy a copy and you didn't get one. And I was like, yeah, you know what? Where is my car? And then I found out she stole it. She stole it. It was her grubby. And then I, and then I relaxed. Yes. She stole it. She took it out of here. She really was very complimentary of the book. I publishes weekly, which is like, like that's not like cooldudes.com. You know, publishes weekly. You know, I frequently. Cooldudes.com. What did cooldudes.com give it? Two boners. So I, but publishes weekly is like the way it was explained to me. So I'm learning about the book world you already know about. You're a New York Times bestseller. Yeah, I didn't want to say. No. Well, I said, I need to become a New York Times bestseller. I want people to like address me as that. Yeah. I'd be instead of Dr. Fried, I'd be New York Times bestseller Jared Fried. Yes. Right. So like Academy Award winner. That's right. So I need you to go. Are you going to put it in your bio? New York Times bestseller. Caps a fucking Lutely. New York Times bestseller mama to uncle to two. Uncle to two. To twisters. Yes. So no, go preorder. And if you go preorder and you send it to a friend, I'm doing a little bit of a special. You can preorder it. If you send me the receipt of preordering and who you're sending it to and one fun fact about you and the friendship, I'll make a video that you can send with. Like a cameo kind of thing. Like a cameo. Right. OK. I'll send it. Just DM me a picture of the purchase order. And then I'll. Off to send you my screenshot. Send you your screenshot. I preordered mine months ago. Well, maybe you're sending it to a friend. If you want to send this book to a friend, here's the thing about the book. It's funny. It's all jokes. That's what I've heard. It's all jokes. It's very, very funny. And here's the publishers. Publishers Weekly, which is a librarian. Like it's. Are you going to relax on the on the anti reading? No, no, no, no, no. People are allowed to read. Just there's an audiobook too. So you can listen. I'm doing the audiobook now. That is a beast. Yeah. Not easy. I never voice. We have an audiobook, but it wasn't voiced by us. Well, that's I mean, good for you because I'm doing this. I have to like go in and like perform. Like I go in like Hamlet with my. You're like Carrie Bradshaw when she does the thing and then she starts crying when she reads about big dying. I told you I. While doing the audiobook. You really are Carrie Bradshaw. There's too many parallels. There's too many. But you go Mr. And you are you or are you Mr. Big? Are you Carrie or Big? Let us know in the Spotify comments. If you think Jared is Carrie or Mr. Big. Here's the review. It's a friendly and refreshingly blunt resource for exhausted daters. Love it. I think that's like as good a review as I can get. Yeah. Because that's what it is. It is for an exhausted daters to feel renewed again. I have a good segue in that. Alaya I've been reading a lot of children's books to the babies, even though they don't know what I'm talking about. Is that something they tell you to do? You know, Beethoven. Well, here's the thing. They tell you know my voice. Does one of them know my voice? They might. She might. We'll see. We'll see if she looks up Lucy. Lucy would. OK, Lucy is the one I like more. That's the one that knows me. To know. Yeah. Charlie, I got to get to know. Lucy's a tougher critic, though. We'll see if she enjoys. Maybe that's why. Right. Could be. She's heard me give you feedback. Complain about stuff. But I've been reading some children's books to them because you're supposed to like speak to them, so they learn how to speak English. But like you can't switch to Chinese. That's probably better for them. I don't really know. I don't really know what to say to them. I'm like fucking tell them about my day. So but the book kind of gives you something to like say. And there that Jimmy Fallon, I don't mean to be a hater, but he wrote two hugely bestselling children's books called like Everything is Mama and Everything is Dadda. OK. They are terrible. Oh, no. There are like three words each. Trinidad, I have to ask to go on this show. You need to cut it. No, you don't have to cut it. Listen, it's your review. It's an honest review. This show is great. He's very funny. This book sucks. So. So it's there's no words in it? No, the word. There's like four words in it. It's like, I mean, it shows you. This is kind of like this is why you shouldn't listen to a podcast by someone who started it because they had a following. Yeah. You know, you shouldn't read a children's book who started it because they had a following. It's being sold under the name Jimmy Fallon because he can sell some books. And so everyone's like, everyone gives it as a gift. They're like, oh, Jimmy Fallon, she likes comedy. Like take this book literally. There's one word on every page. You can't say you wrote that. I know. It's like a picture of a bee. Bee. Mama. Like that's every. No, no, no, no, no. I'm like, I can. It's I was like, I can't believe this is a bestselling book just because it has his name on it. It's crazy. Well, he should have. Thank you to everyone who bought me that book, which was multiple people. Well, it's at the front of the aisle. It's the, you know, it's it's big book, you know, like it's this is why again, if you're listening and you enjoy this show and we like say to you, hey, go preorder the book. Like we want it like we put a lot of work into these things. We do. We, you know, we're not just writing mama on a page with a picture of a bee that I didn't even draw. You know, that's crazy. He's just making dough. It's crazy. How much money does Jimmy Fallon need? I don't know. Someone was probably like, we're going to write this book, just put your name on it. And you're going to. That's exactly what happened. It's very irritating. I was like, oh, it's going to be a fun. It's going to be a funny children's book. I'm so excited. Right. My goal was always to get famous enough. I think when the moment you're done making money is when you're the voice of a cartoon animal in a Pixar movie. Yes. Because I always thought that was like the best job in the world. You just go in, you read it. You don't have to get dressed. No makeup. You know, they sit in a booth and you and then you go on the tour, the press tour. It's just you next to your cartoon version of you. Like I'd be next to a slug. And you get paid like the same amount as if you were like, we're in a real movie. Probably more. You get part of the toys. You get part of all that stuff. Like David Schlipper. You'd be a good children's movie voice. That's the end of my career. OK. If I ever got big enough to be in a children's movie where I'm a cartoon slug, I'll do select cities. OK. I will still be there. And I will keep my tickets cheap. I only need so much. I just need, I already have thought this out. OK. There's a house in Delray that I would really like to have near the beach. I don't even have to be on the beach. You just moved. You're looking somewhere. I'm already looking. I'm getting real, real estatey now. Oh. I want. A tycoon. I'm going to be the tycoon of Delray. There's a lot of things from Delray. I've become a real resident. I need to go to Delray to see if I need to long beach it up. I think you might because there's no tall buildings near the beach. OK. No high-rise condos? There's one. Who do I need to evict to bulldoze their home and build a high-rise condo? Turn out of the monopoly woman. Yes. Oh. Kitty. A great story like Monsters Inc. stays with you forever. And Disney Plus is where you'll find your next great story from the return of the award-winning hit series, Rivals. Welcome to the naughtiest show on television. To the unmissable crime drama, High Potential. Gotta dead body. Gotta go. A lifetime of great stories awaits. This spring on Disney Plus, 18 plus, subscription required. T's and C's apply. This episode was a big catch-up episode, but we're going to still play a game. We're going to play Red Flag, Dealbreaker. What the show is known for. You date someone, you go on one date. They do something. Is it a Red Flag? You notice it and it's fine? Or is it a Dealbreaker? You end at site on scene. Yes. Let's see. All right. I'm going to read our first one. Go for it. Hello, big fan. Red Flag or Dealbreaker? Doesn't ask me if my cat is OK. Context. We were supposed to meet for coffee last Friday and an hour before he canceled because he got called into work, which I completely understand. We rescheduled for the next Friday, and then I had to cancel because I had to take my cat to the emergency vet. I gave some rescheduling options, and he didn't ask, not once, if my baby is doing OK. I even tried to give him more of an in by providing a brief update. Still nothing. Not even, I'm glad she's OK. I'm seriously considering canceling altogether because it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. What do you think? Red Flag or Dealbreaker? He doesn't ask if my cat is OK. And thankfully, she sent the screenshots. Yeah. Because these are important. These are important, especially for this kind of thing. You be him, I'll be her. I'll be him. I'm looking forward to Friday. Sorry, I had to reschedule on you. No worries. It happens. I'm looking forward to it as well. I hope you have a good week. OK. Then on Wednesday. That was the initial canceling by him. Now she's back. OK. Wednesday, two days before their Friday date, she texts him. Hey there. Unfortunately, I need to rain check our date Friday. I unexpectedly had to take my cat to the emergency vet today, and we'll need to come into the clinic Friday as opposed to working from home like I usually do. Any chance you have some time over the weekend? No worries. I'm free Sunday before 5. Sorry for my delay. Gigi is OK. She has pancreatitis, but will make a full recovery, smiley face. I have a brunch at 10. Oh, Gigi's fine. Consider all of us not caring. Yes. I have a brunch at 10.30 at the Penrose Diner. I could meet you around 12.30 or 1. That works for me. No mention of Gigi. Yes. So what do we think here? Is it a red flag or deal breaker? He didn't ask about the cat who? I'm assuming this is the first date. First date. I'm assuming this is the first date. First date, I wouldn't ask you there. Well, you know, it's funny. I was thinking about this, and I have dated many a woman. And this happens as you get older as a dater. You date these women with pets where I'm asked to be as loving with the pet, more loving with the pet than I am with the person I've gone out with. Like you go to their apartment. It's after the third date, and you're like, yeah, we're cool. But then this pet comes up. Oh, you got to go look at your Rufus. And I got to go, oh, and I feel weird. Like I'm not there with the pet. I don't even know if it's a good dog. Not that I want Gigi to die, but. I get both sides. I get right. I'm having a dog now. I get both sides. If I know, because with your kids or with your dog, you get, it's a turn on when someone is into the thing that you're really into and someone loves your kid. You love your kid. It feels like something you haven't come in. Someone loves your dog. If they do really love dogs or they love your dog in particular, I don't really, and I say this as someone who doesn't like all dogs. I like my dog. And so I'm probably not that person who would meet some guy's dog and be like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with the dog or I'm obsessed with your niece and nephew or I'm obsessed with this thing. This happened on the flight yesterday. There was a dog next to me, very cute dog on the flight. They're sitting aisle with their owner and I'm sitting aisle. There's two different types of people. There were, there's three. There's I hate dogs. Yes. Or like I'm annoyed by your dog. Right. Or there's the people that were next to me on my left. They're like, oh, look at the dog. It was like a daughter and her dad. Oh my God. We have what just like it. I'm an aisle. I'm the third type, which is let's see how he does on this flight. Right. I'm not just sold on this dog. The dog was very good. By the end of it, I said to the owner, great work out of you. This dog was great. Impressive. Good job out of the dog. And there was an older person behind me that said, didn't make a peep the whole flight. I'm with that old person. I will review after the flight. Dog dependent. You don't love off, right? It is dog dependent. If that dog was running around and being a terror. You're going to hate my dog. Well, don't have it on a flight next to me. But I, so again, so when you're in this position of like that third type, which is this guy seems to be, he's not being like, I hate Gigi the cat. He's also never fucking met him. Right. But it is reading the text. It is weird to honestly, it's as weird of her to be like, and Gigi's going to be okay. Don't worry. She's just a paper. I think it's more about for me, it'd be a red flag of someone volunteered that night in Ask. Right. It's a little bit, she's a little bit the problem. A little bit. Cause it's like, okay, what do I have to do? I have to like be like, I've been praying for Gigi every night. Right. I'm so happy to find out my prayers were answered. Also, here's the other thing. If I haven't met you yet, I'm just assuming any excuse is like potentially an exaggerated thing. Cause you just like couldn't, didn't feel like going out. Totally. Which is fine. Gigi the cat with pancreatic cancer. Anyone who like, I'm feeling under the weather. I would be like, I guess I would be like, I hope you feel better, but I wouldn't ask you any questions about it. If I haven't met you, I don't, to me it's like, if I haven't met you yet, I don't really care that much about anything going on in your life. I know. I say that cause I, I am with you. I read this and I said, yeah, I don't give a fuck about Gigi. And then I read the text and I was like, Jared, how would you text back? I would say happy to hear Gigi's okay. Right. Like I would at least acknowledge. I would say hope everything's okay, but I wouldn't ask one question. This isn't a deal. Right. This, I wouldn't, right. I'm with you. No question, fine. No acknowledgement is like, it's almost like he's trying to prove a point. So you're getting a certain type where it's like, I budge for no cat unless I get to know the cat. Like you gotta fake it a little bit. You haven't even gone on a first date yet. You don't say, well, I'm happy the cat's okay. Can't wait to see you on Friday. Like you're still going out with them. Are you asking for them to take you or leave you? Or are you trying to be good on the date? Right. I think they're just trying to, he's just trying to get to the date and then he'll decide if he's like, right, he's gonna be asking questions about the cat. Which again, should we appreciate that more than the person who tries to win a date? To me, this is a person who has no interest in winning a date, which might be the person you should want to go on a date with. Right. I think this is kind of closer to what I would do than be asking a lot of questions, especially if I've never met that, if I'm it's an app date, I've never met them. I'm kind of like, let's just see if we like each other. And then I'll ask you on the date how your cat is. Like I don't want to like get into it now. Right. That's why she's more of the deal breaker than he is because she's trying to test him. Right. She does, you know, the first text, you know, about her cat and then no worries, I'm free Sunday before five. At that point, you've already gotten what he is. Right. And then she's like, well, she's not, he's not gonna ask about Gigi. And then she goes into Gigi is okay. Now she's testing him. Which is annoying. To see if he'll break. She's annoying. Yeah. I might not go if I were him. I would, I mean, I would both, both people should go. Both people are red flags in their own special way. They just might not be a match. I think like, you know, it's like, if we saw like on a percentage scale, like a heat chart of like, you know, oh, you two are going to be great together versus like this date might be a disaster. We are moving more towards disaster than we are great. Yeah. She probably should not go. I'd say chances are low that they are a married couple years from now. I would, I would agree with that. Although who knows, let us know. Let's do another red flag or deal breaker. You ready? Last one. J and J love the pod. Love you all feather feather congrats on the twiblings, et cetera, twisters. Twisters. We're going by twisters now. So it would be twubbers if they were brothers. That doesn't sound as good. I have to admit something very embarrassing. What didn't you know? No, this is like a very personal thing that I'm going to, I'm like true. The safe space. Is it safe? Yeah. Is it safe with everyone here? Yeah. Is this insulting to someone? No, it's insulting to me. Okay. Do you re-wear jeans? Me? Yeah. Of course. You do. I thought that was only people with body issues and you don't have body issues. I think we were wearing jeans like a body issues. Like where are the same pair of jeans more than once? Right. Like without washing it? With that before we washing it. Oh yeah, I wear jeans a lot before I wash them. How many times would you wear jeans? Probably like a good like five or six times. Five or six times. It depends on the jeans. Rag and bone jeans, not a re-wearable jean. Okay. They don't keep their structure. It's a little too loose. I look like I'm Gen Z. So you don't like to wash it at all? I don't. These jeans I didn't wash. I wore them last night and I just had a realization. I think that's okay. I'm not insulted by that. Can I do? I don't think that's disgusting. I just, as I was sitting here, this is crazy. I'm gonna put, can I just, everyone? I'm gonna put my hands in my pants for two seconds. In your pants. Okay. Not my underwear. Okay, HR, he's asked permission. Okay, hand everyone. He's started Louis CK. Right? I've had a good run here, bitches. But I just, I'm telling you, I didn't even, I was sitting. Oh wow, okay, they're going in. They're going in. Okay. Don't get the sound bite. What are you doing? Did you leave something in there? I just realized that my underwear Stop it! That I wore with the jeans. This one's not planned, right? No. It was in my pants from the night before. And I was sitting here and I'm going, why does it feel like I shit my pants? And I'm like, this is crazy. Wow. And I had the underwear. Can we send those to one lucky listener? Did you do the cat? I mean, I, cause I live in fear of the dryer. So like, I, but this has happened before. You ever put on pants and then you realized the underwear is in the pants? I've had socks in the pants, and not realized the socks in the pants. I haven't had underwear in this. This is a lot to be in there. I walked here from the hotel. I guess it was in the leg or no? It was like in the, I felt it as I was sitting here. I thought. Did you have underwear on? Yes. I'm wearing underwear. That's why I said I'm like, there's something extra in here. Okay. So you put them back up. And you're like, you're in like, you're not in your home, you're in a hotel. I guess. Right. Cause I put on the jeans, but to get from the, I'm six blocks away. Yeah. No, it's impressive. You were like comfortable enough to not stop. I literally was sitting here like fidgeting in the seat. I could see that happening to me. I'm not, I don't think you're crazy. Yeah. I was pretty. I mean, it's funny that you just took it out like you were a fucking like clown. I was like, oh my God, I can't, I think there's extra underwear. Red flag or deal breaker. Someone does that on a date. She's like, give me one second. I'm just going to. I'm putting my hands in my pants. I'm just going to do the way I did. I'm putting hands in pants. I'm going to grab something out of them. I, I mean. Are you into it? You probably would be. I'd be into it. I would love the vulnerability. Yeah. Like I've been like, in the way I hope the listeners love the my vulnerability. I feel like I just was sitting here. I think it's great. I've done like my shirts inside out. Something's back. Shirts inside out is a little different than what just happened here. It's a little weirder that you didn't notice, but like, glad you wore new underwear. Yeah. The underwear I changed, I washed pretty after every use. That's not something I can admit. That's not something I can say over here. But that's a good question about the jeans. Would you wash jeans after everywhere? How many times do you wear jeans before you wash them? Four to five. Okay. Five or six. Five or six. So that's everyone that everyone goes, we're all just sitting here fearing a washed jeans. I don't think you're supposed to wash them. You're not supposed to. Yeah. Ever? No, you're not supposed to wash them. Right. You're definitely not supposed to dry them. That's a, that's something people with legs that shape made up to make other people with legs that shape feel better. I think, and I think those people. If you dry them, I don't dry them. I dry them. I just do it. Okay. Well, I guess we'll do one more red flag. If you would like these sent to you, we should keep them here. Right. We'll hang them up. We'll put them in a poster. You should save it for like one of your shows. And then like, you know, when the woman takes her bra off and throws it into the audience. Yeah. I don't, I don't think the artist throws their underwear to the audience. It's usually the woman in the crowd who wants to bang the artist. That's a good point. The other way. Okay. All right. Give it to me. I'll save it for my next lumineers concert. Thank you. Writing in with a red flag. Hey, oh. Isn't that what the lumineers? Yes. I have a, that's dumb. Yeah. Writing in with a red flag deal breaker for my friend. 27 females. She went on a first date to a wine bar and total was $45. When he paid, there was an iPad with 20%, 22% and 25% options. He selected custom tip and tipped $5. Some factors here, not sure if they are important or not. He's 30 years old. You respond, do you think these are important factors as I give them? He's 30 years old. Does that matter? Yes. They only had two glasses of wine. So all the waitress did was pour the glasses, but they were brought to them at a table. No. That doesn't matter. No, not to me. He lives in the West Village with a roommate, already a member of a workout studio that isn't cheap and mentioned. He's thinking about joining Equinox as well. Does that matter? Somewhat? I don't know. What do you think? I don't think. Shoji's not that poor. Right, but okay. He was working at a startup that failed recently so currently unemployed technically. He went to an Ivy League school. He's from Greenwich, Connecticut. I said it was a deal breaker. She said it was a red flag. Would appreciate the final say from you two. Thanks a cheap date. So what do you think? Should you tip better than $5 on a $45 tap? Yes. That's how it, that's the. You should tip 20%. On a, if you have a waitress service, you should tip 20%. You would think. Right? Isn't that? Right, I mean. Did he go up to the, did he go up to the, they were brought, if they, if someone brings something to your table, I feel like you need to tip. You gotta go 20%. I think so. It is weird to hit the, I mean. Tipping is very confusing. I do, I do sympathize with that, but I think this warrants more. Taking the extra step to hit custom versus just hitting 20% when it's on there to go less than what they are letting you do easily. Yeah. Is a statement about who he is. Now, he might tip 15%. Because. This is 10%, right? Is it? I don't know. It's not. It's 14%, but it is actually 15% because some people tip, do it on the, so I actually looked this up. This is, some people do it on the pre-tax amount. Okay. So. Do you? No, but I keep that in mind when I'm tipping. Like if I'm doing 20% and it's like. Do you tip it like a coffee shop? I have become, and I'm not saying this to like be performative or whatever, I have become. Show us how generous you are. I have become a big coffee shop tipper. Okay. I believe in it. 20%. I go to Peruvida and Delray on Atlantic Avenue most days and they do a 5% included tip. And then they ask if you wanna give more than that, I add 10 onto that. So it's 15% on the coffee on top of the five that they're. Right. But I have become, when that pad comes out of the barista, always tipping. The older I am, the more I'm tipping. I will say. I just don't think that they're trying to get us. Like I don't think anyone there is getting rich off of this tip. We should be getting angry at the corporation that's not paying people enough where they say we need a tip, but you don't even know if they're paying them well or not. You're just assuming they're not. Right. But I would say if someone's working out of place and they're pooling the tips with a bunch of people and they're all working hard to try and make this right, I don't know. I'm just like. Yeah. Why am I, why is this my cross to bear? I don't know. That's why I wish they would just include, like they do in Europe. They just pay them more and you don't tip it, like tip like 10% or something. But then we wouldn't be having this fun, you know, judgment festival we're having now. The tipping is a very judgmenty thing. It is. Well, because this guy. How much should you tip delivery people? I don't know how much to tip anyone. Well, it used to be like, I mean, it used to be, for me, it was like three bucks on a delivery. Like you'd give $3 cash. I remember growing up babysitting for my brother. Pizza comes, here's three bucks in addition to the, you know, the 15 it was. It was $3 for a really long time. Right, $3 was like the amount growing up. And then the minute we went to this digital world of like including tip and it became less, like you're giving something. So I don't know, my connection between money and tip and has changed my brain chemistry. What would you tip on this $45 to two glasses of wine? Would you do 20%? Eight to 10. Okay, so that. It would range. It would be from eight to 10. But I looked at the sun. So like nine. What's that? So nine. Nine, but I, I would hit the button. Yeah, I would hit the button. And I would hit the middle button. Yeah, especially if I was on a first date. Well, this goes back to, do you want to date someone who's trying to look good or being themselves? I guess so, right. I guess it's, but it is similar to the cat situation. This is very similar to the cat situation. Do you want to be on it? And I think it's something I've thought about myself where me, the amount I tipped was me looking to get, you know, to win the date. It wasn't because let me, you know, I hope she sees it. So she thinks I'm rich so that I could bang tonight. Right. And I think that's gotta be more normal than, my version's more normal than the guy who's tipping to bang. I think most people, if they're tipping higher, it's to look, I'm a good person, just so you know I'm a good person. Even to themselves. Right. Yeah. I think it's tough because I think we have that, it's so easy to like sort of put that on someone as a personality trait. And that feeling of like, do I want to be liked for being authentic or do I want to be liked because I'm like trying? I think about that constantly. I think about that when I'm like debating how much makeup to put on to come into this recording. Right. Like do I want to just be who I am or do I want to like put on a little show for the listeners? Maybe a little bit of both, maybe more depending on the day. I've worn like a hat in here because I'm just couldn't manage doing my hair. Right. You know. It is, you're right. It does translate to all forms of life. Like what am I doing something because I want to or because I have to or because I think I have to. Should I be, right? Is it more authentic or is effort more valued? Right. I think to me, I don't want to be on a date with someone whose ego is in the way. I don't know because my ego is in the way too when I'm trying to be good. I don't know. I don't know. Is it equal? Because for him to put custom tip to put less, that is him saying, I don't tip 20% when it's just two pours of wine. Right. And he needs you. Right. And I think it does say something about him to me. If I was to, if the game was say something about him, not say something about him, statement or no statement, then I would say he's trying to make a statement. That would be my assumption. I think he's trying to make a statement. Absolutely. Oh, to me, I'm kind of like, he's just not the most generous guy. Cheap. My statement is I care about money more than you or more than this. I care about money more than I care about you thinking I'm a good person for tipping. And in that scenario, I'm like, this person is thinking to me, I would be, it would be a kind of a deal breaker for me now that I talk this out. Be a deal breaker. Yeah. Because I don't need that. Right. This is an easy breezy, beautiful cover girl day. Like this should be drinks and hit the 22% and let's move on. You save three bucks dude. Yeah. I think for the $4 that it is that he doesn't, he wouldn't do it even if it was just, even if he didn't really want to do it, it was just to impress you. I think that's really like the main issue. He wouldn't pay $3 to impress you is what he's saying if you want to look at it a certain way. Cause I tried to come to his side. I did write this out. I mean, do you tip more when people are looking at you? Yeah. Right? That's what I'm saying. I think most people would tip more or do something more when people are looking at them. And this guy is looking at someone he's on an actual like first date with and doesn't give a shit. Right. So that's who you're dating. Someone who doesn't give a shit about compromise and things like that. Cause I tried to make him not a bad guy. You did. I was like $45 means it's a $41 tab actually because $3.99 in state taxes. Okay. I went and looked this up. So you're saying. I went and looked this up cause I was like, what's 20% of 41? 20% of 41 is $8.20. Okay. So now he did, he tipped $5 on what he should have given if it was 20% if you believe 20% is the number, it should be 8.20. So he saved himself $3.20. Does he know that? Probably not. For his own reputation. Right. He needed to feel like he saved money and didn't get fucked. And do you want to be on a date with someone who's like, who's basically screaming to the world, you ain't gonna fuck me. Right. Would you rather be on a date with that guy or someone who just can't do math? They thought that was 20%. I'd rather be the person who can't do math. Say. Like a dumb likable person versus a douchebag. Right, who just doesn't know. Smarty pants. Well, we solved dating again. We did it. You're back. So glad to be back. I missed you guys. You were missed. We're so happy to have you back. Yes. So glad to be here. We're gonna be back on Friday. Friday feels. We'll be back then. Bye. Boom.