Cinephobe Ep 305: Getting Even with Dad

Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand, marketing tools that get your products out there, integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time, from startups to scale-ups online, in-person and on-the-go. Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com. 500 orders a month was manageable. 5,000 is madness! Embrace intelligent order fulfillment with ShipStation. The only platform combining order management, warehouse workflows, inventory, returns and analytics in one place. What used to take five separate tools, ShipStation does in one. Go to ShipStation.com and use code START to try ShipStation free for 60 days. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Taliesin Jaffe. Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like Growing Pains and films like Mr. Mom. In our podcast Weird Kids, we're diving deep into our unique upbringings, our friendship with each other, and all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode we get to share stories of our youth, the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face, and occasionally the friends we've collected along the way. If you're a misfit, an outcast, or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week we'll be releasing previously members-only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms, with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad-free on Beacon.tv. Hi, this is Rob Benedict. And I am Richard Spate. We were both on a little show you might know called Supernatural. It had a pretty good run, 15 seasons, 327 episodes. And though we have seen, of course, every episode many times, we figure, hey, now that we're wrapped, let's watch it all again. And we can't do that alone. So we're inviting the cast and crew that made the show along for the ride. We've got writers, producers, composers, directors, and we'll of course have some actors on as well, including some certain guys that played some certain pretty iconic brothers. It was kind of a little bit of a left field choice in the best way possible. The note from Kripke was, he's great, we love him, but we're looking for like a really intelligent Dukovny type. With 15 seasons to explore, it's going to be the road trip of several lifetimes. So please join us and subscribe to Supernatural then and now. I like that. I'm pretty sure everything I sent for look at this photograph is just ponytail shots. Yeah, we'll definitely get into it on look at this photograph. But when he took it out of the ponytail, Oh, the mullet, the mullet cascaded down insane. It's a mullet, but it looked like they glued half a wig to the back of his normal hair. Of course. I kind of feel like it was real. Like this is actual hair. This is you wanting to believe. I want to believe that Ted Danson in the 90s. What had a magnificent mullet? Ted Danson has never, he said the same hair length his entire career. You don't know those whoopee years were crazy. You don't know what they say. If you can will it, you can thrill it. Do they say that someone's kind of said it? Those whoopee years were crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. We need to do what is it made in America made in America. Oh boy. Oh boy. I could not imagine spending three hours on something that I didn't like. You don't like it. You are a weird individual to keep watching. You dedicated a week of your life to dislike something? Get a hobby, knit something, go for a walk. Previously on Cinephobe. How am I supposed to go back to the me before all of this pain? Excuse me. We're new in town and we've never had sex before. Would you give us a hand? I would have rather seen his cock. How do I bobby? This episode in this movie exists. You bet your sweet ass I saw a lawnmower man. Oh, Teddy. I'll call some guys from my neck of the woods. We're not talking Brooke about a couple of queens who know a few grapples. We're talking about pollocks that don't have a goddamn future. You have a stupid heart and a stupid but irregular eyes. You think I'm a coward? You're wrong. I'm not a coward. You're the coward. I'm not a coward. I love cocaine. I do it all the time. I'm sorry, you guys. I don't mean like homosexual. I mean like... I got nukes shooting out of my dick right now. I've got so many nukes. Dick nukes. I mean, look at this buffet of ass. Now it's the dildo, dildo ass, ass to ass. Hi, Brant. Anal Bees. I'm the goddamn talent, Bees. Look, Gene, I've never told anyone this before. But I can suck my own dick. And I do it a lot. 1038, this movie is shit. You don't know shit! Holy shit, bro. I had the same note too. I swear to God, both of you guys are the biggest fucking liars in the world. Hattie, hattie, hattie. You should have saved this for the train. All right, on you, Ben. Liza, Solid. Oh, I mean, why don't you just be like a regular person and dream about regular threesomes? Like cones. Give me some soul, kids, this baby. Hey, beautiful boy. Oh, dang. Oh, oh! My dogs. I can't indulge this comparison to a person that a mean may or may not know in a movie that has nothing to do with this podcast. That's some 20th century shit, bitch. We will tangle ass. Say, how do you mother for me? And you will lose. What's the end game? Okay, now everyone's dead. What a fucking spence from ballers. Who cares what the end game is? Garfin' dick! I am brave. Macabre D! Welcome to Cinefo! The podcast we break down the movies you're afraid to admit you love. I'm Zach Harbour. That's me. I'll have some. That's Anthony Mays. Fuck Ice. Yeah. That's what I'll say. Yeah, Spotify is where you can vote in the poll. Like the poll for crossover. The long anticipated poll for crossover. 84.5% F. Whoa. 15.5% file. But let me tell you that 15.5% was vocal. Yeah. Really? Fuck yeah. Really? Lots of comments, huh? File City. They were riding for crossover. Mm-hmm. Spotify is where you can leave a comment. Like Anustian who said, This is my official request to change your companion podcast to CT6. But what you get to number two, that item takes up two spots on the list. It's worth two. Motion approved. That's actually a really good idea. That's a really good idea. That's the CT6. All those TikTok videos do that now. They're like top five or top six, whatever, of any category. And then it gets to number two and the video ends because they're trying to get you to click on their profile and then go see other videos. It's smart. Champ6790 commented to quote the famous Jules, Let me know when I have a bad one, sucka. Zach, we have a bad one with snacks because the episode was mad funny. Bad what? Movie? Yeah. Oh, get the fuck out of here. That's such an easy file. And Ripsky commented 100% relate to getting the paint, big man. Oh, another big man. And I'm just 6'4". Shit heavy rolling. Both of y'all getting the paint. You and Mays. Get in the paint and shut the fuck up. Yeah, exactly. You want the ball, go rebound. Go talk to yourselves. Right there. That's what he does. Get in the paint, Deandre. Oh, Dominating all that. Motherfucker. Hold on. I'm sorry. I know we're doing a movie, but this was months ago. The movie said they want me to be click, Capella. I said you should be so lucky. Yeah, motherfucker. They'd rather have quick Capella than you. Go back a month and a half ago. Do you believe addition of basketball, Luminati? We got it covered. Jesus Christ. Yep. Leave us a review. Let me know if you dominate and leave a comment. Make sure you're checking out the CT5 episodes on the main feed. Leave us your CT5 suggestions and lists on social media or in the discord by subscribing to patreon.com slash count the things you get access to ad free episodes extended called opens rewatched in live events past, present, future. You get episodes early. You get access and discount on live show tickets, all the extra content across the counterdings network, including watching 10 live events of bar rescue for here's the science of bar rescue podcast with myself. I mean, I'll have some Chelsea Reynolds calling casted every Monday, three Eastern noon Pacific, but you only get that by being a patron member. If you have a submission, submit it reminder that it needs to be 40% or lower on the rotten tomatoes audience or critics score. Now you guys had some kind of criticism. Oh, shit. I forgot to write it. Hmm. Well, that's me being on the road. I wrote the start of it. Well, what happened? All right. Hold on. Let me laugh like Piculli. Yeah. He's weird kid, man. That kid is weird. Whatever from my boss's daughter, Pluto TV suggested the 1994 comedy, crime, family, getting even with dad. Straight up comedy. A lot of crime. Family comedy. Getting even with dad stars, Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, and Glennie Headley. How do you say her name? Glenn. Glenn. Glenn. Yeah. Then what's the E doing at the end? To make sure that you know that it's feminine. So yeah, that she's a woman. He's a woman. Tell me by looking at her. Not by reading her name. Ah, Glenn Close. It's not Glennie Close. Is it? That's a good point. Hedy Lamar. That's Headley. This is Macaulay's fourth appearance on Cinephobe with Home Alone 2, Richie Rich and the Good Son as previous episodes. I wish I knew how to quit you. He had the Good Son in 1993, this movie and Richie Rich in 1994, and then Party Monster in 2003. Never forget that Macaulay Culkin is on the receiving end of this drop. You still got to, Moclis? That's right. He sure is. Macaulay Culkin stars as Macaulay. If you listen to the Cold Open, you already know that. Ted Danson has made in America in 1993, this movie and Pontiac Moon in 1994, and then the TV miniseries, Gulliver's Travels in 1996. I remember that. I remember watching that shit. I remember it too. Ted Danson stars as Danson. A little dancing man. You were so tall. But now you're small. I guess. You could be making a million ends and singing and dancing on the screen. And it just occurred to me, Ted Danson, not much of a film career. Oh. TV superstar. Boys, next Jim Carrey for sure. Oh. You remind me of a very young Jim Carrey. Oh, righty then. What the hell are you talking about? So you're telling me there's a chance. Who are you talking to? Somebody stop me. See, you guys fought me last time. I said that guy's just a TV actor. Oh, but he was in Scrubs and he was in this and he was in that. I'm like, Donald Faizon. We're talking about Donald Faizon. Not much of a movie career. No, he's got a movie career. But it's different in that Ted Danson, they're trying to make him a star here. Of course. This is a slam dunk. Donald Faizon was just a role player. Homie Spamone was the type of movie he was the lead in. Right. You're saying the machine was never behind Donald Faizon. That's right. And this movie proved that the machine broke down. Yeah. Has anyone had a better TV career than Ted Danson? Cheers. Oh, Kerb. Becker. The good place? That new one's supposed to be good. He even was the main guy on CSI for like five years. Was he? Yeah. Oh, shit. I had no idea. Ted Danson is TV royalty. He can't miss. He's so big a TV. He was a recurring character in Seinfeld without ever appearing. Think about that. That's right. With the whole writing situation, George wanted Ted Danson money. Ted Danson's playing. Yeah. And that carried right over into Kerb. Except they actually got him. You think Larry was friends with him before or because of that? Come on, man. You one of the biggest acts in the 90s on NBC? Yeah. They all know each other, dude. Cosby too. Well, they all knew each other. Obviously where Ted Danson is from, because I want to know how authentic this accent is. Oh, really? You want this loose pin-on? He was born in San Diego, California. There we go. I did not notice the accent until a certain seed, which we'll get to. And then I was like, wait, hold on. Is this been happening the whole time? What? I don't blame you, Maze, because it would appear and disappear. Also, have you guys heard of the 1996 family drama starring Ted Danson called Loch Ness? No, but I'm in. It qualifies. And we got to do this shit. Does he do a Scottish accent? Divorced anthropologist arrives in Scotland to debunk the legend of the Loch Ness monster. Oh, file. Let's go. By the way, Ted Danson was primarily raised in Flagstaff, Arizona. There you go. Glennie, you know from Mr. Holland's Opus, Dick Tracy, and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Glenn Headley stars as Dirty Rotten Scoundrels every single time I saw her. She also had Dr. Detroit and Lonesome Dev. Saul Rubenek, repeat offender from War. I wish I knew how to quit you. Saul Rubenek stars as Bobby Grizzellini. Oh my god, this fucking dirtbag. Fucking lasagna, lasagna over here. This dude is Saul Rubenek stars as, is there cocaine in those cigarettes? Gaylord Startain from the replacements. Startain. That's Startain. Well, I wrote Startain. Gaya, I'll start. I'm going to go out on a limb. Motherfuckers, not French. It's a French name. What? He stars as Dumb Fat Carl. He's definitely not Gaylord Satan, as you could easily read his name to me. Sam McMurray, repeat offender for class act. I wish I knew how to quit you. You guys are going to kill me for this one. Sam McMurray stars as, not all cops are bad. Whoa. Oh, spoiler alert. I found myself agreeing with that guy a lot. Oh boy, I bet you did. Hector Elizondo, repeat offender for How High and Valentine's Day. I wish I knew how to quit you. Yeah, he stars as the coach from How High as we discovered. Kathleen Wilhoit, repeat offender from Roadhouse. Aunt Fluzie. Dan Floric, repeat offender from Hard Rain. I call him Coach Gerber from Smart Guy, but I know a lot of more people know him from SVU. I also call him Uncle Fluzie. Sure, Uncle Fluzie. That's good. Uncle Fluzie for Ron Canada, repeat offender from Nick Fury's Agent of Shield and Home Alone 2. I wish I knew how to quit you. Randolph from Wedding Crashers. Sam Horrigan was Spike in Little Giants and is a repeat offender for Accepted. He's also the antagonist from Brink, which I wish qualified. That's all I got for the cast. One more. I can't believe you missed this one. Scott Beach as the Unhoused Gentleman. Oh, also Sydney Walker as Mr. Wankmueller. Oh my God. Which is a contender for CT5 name. I thought about it long and hard with a Wankmueller. I bet you thought about Wankmueller long and hard. Best of patient. No. Getting even with dad directed by Howard Deutch. Howard has directed Pretty in Pink, The Great Outdoors and The Replacements. Married to Leah Thompson and father of Zoey Deutch. I don't know who Zoey Deutch is. Zoey Deutch and El. Oh. That's Zoey. Oh. Oh, that's Zoey. Yeah. Do you know? We've got two writers for this one to writing credits. Tom S. Parker and Jim Genewine. If you're horny, let's do it. They wrote, write it. My screenplay. We got a breakdown of script writing. Stay tuned. Which I wish qualified. I'll mention it every time. Major League 2, which does qualify. The Flintstones and repeat offender. For writing in our boy Pee Wee with the cheeseburger in the hand. Richie Rich. I wish I knew how to quit you. And it all makes sense. What a 1994 for them. Yeah. Went back and I re listened to both Richie Rich and The Good Son. I gotta go do that. Banger episodes. Synopsis for getting even with dad. A thief's son cons his father into spending more time with him. He didn't con him. He blackmailed him. Tagline. Timmy's not getting mad. He's getting even with dad. 20 C.B. I'm not going to get mad. I'm going to get even that quote right there. Oh, that's definitely 20 C.B. Yes. And then alternative was just he's not getting mad. He's getting even with dad didn't like the title, especially if they're incorporating it into the tagline like that. Yeah. It's too long. 30 million estimated budget grossed 18.8 US and worldwide flop city. Yeah. I had a very different number. Hold on. 53.8. Oh, worldwide before we jump this movie. Listen to rest is podcast getting even with dad again available on Pluto TV. Shout out to Pluto TV. The Pluto TV. We can all blame this to puberty, right? You want to explain that? Intro. Once Macaulay Culkin hit puberty, people were not as enamored with him as they were when he was a cute kid. Careful, Epstein. What's going on here? It's not me. I was his age. So I was watching all this shit. So both these movies made money. Not according to IMDB, but not the kind of money they thought they were going to make. Well, it's not home alone money. Yeah. Right. But especially with Richie Rich's name and then you get Macaulay to play him, they thought, oh, there's going to go fucking through the roof. Richie Rich barely made money. I think what happened here is my man kick Culkin wild out too hard, dude. Well, you know, I think the problem is Ted Danson was fucking terrible. What? Getting even with dad receives 3% on 31 critic reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, 25% from the audience on over 10,000 ratings. I mean, the positive or the negative reviews. I'm a gym bag half full of pennies. Kind of guy give me the positives. Hey, John, that's weird. That glass looks half full to me. Wow. Now that you mentioned it, it is half full. Caffeinated Clint of Moviehole. Copy, copy, copy. We should have called him caffeinated Clint in that episode. Do we do that? No, we didn't. We did it. We should have. Caputino. Rewatch. A charming, amusing comedy for the whole family. That's not a review. That's a freaking tagline. Yeah. What are you working for them caffeinated Clint? You reviewed is like years after it came out. Yeah, this would have been where the fuck is this review? So this, I guess was a zero percenter. Right? Oh yeah, definitely for a long time. Until 2008. What's around when Rotten Tomatoes started? So that's when he allegedly left this. Wow. Wow. User Steven C. 5 out of 5 stars. Funny family scenes in one hour, 48 minutes and 49 seconds. 10 exclamation points. Copyright 1994 to 2025 by Amazon MGM studios. 14 exclamation points. Filmed in 1994 in color. 14 exclamation points. Starring Macaulay Culkin as Timmy Gleason and Ted Danson as his dad. Raymond Gleason 58 exclamation points. I don't get the joke. I don't get the bit here. I don't understand what that review is and why you're so excited about that. User Matthew N. 4 out of 5 stars. What's the end stand for Zach? Nobody knows. No, I'm not gonna work here anymore. Whoa. I didn't say that joke. Whoa. He talked about. That's an office space. Care for. Reference. Thank you very much. Yeah. I don't understand the hate people give this movie. I had a great time watching it. The joke's pretty much always land unless you don't have a sense of humor spelled with a U. And although it may not be quite as good as Home Alone, who cares? It's an enjoyable watch. I think my favorite spell with you thing is how the characters play off each other. Ray and Timmy's relationship really comes though. Like they meant through and you can see the progression quite well ending in a satisfying way. Blank user five out of five. I have strong feelings for this movie. I think after the Good Sun people didn't stop caring for Macaulay Culkin, but this was a great experience. Okay. Blank user four out of five stars. An ideal film for a Sunday afternoon. Enjoyable. Please watch something else. And then blank user five out of five. I like this film way more than I thought I would. Just the idea was so new to me. I'm a big fan of Culkin and he made this movie stand out and worthwhile. Though the plot progresses slowly and I wish more could have happened to develop a better relationship between father and son. I enjoyed every second of this movie. Smiley face of modicon. How is this new to someone? What's new about it? I don't know. Negative reviews. Stop being a pessimist. This thing is not half full. It's half empty. Leslie Thornton of independent on Sunday. The king of diamonds Monday. Macaulay Culkin is getting on a bit for a child star, but shows no sign of turning into a young actor in getting even with dad. See? Well, kind of accurate. Karen James of New York Times. Lebron James. Lebronny James. The film should have been a roller coaster ride. Instead, watching it is like trudging through a swamp. There's a roller coaster ride in it. That's right. Couple. Stephen Hunter of Baltimore Sun. Oh, shout out Stephen Hunter. The Paul Gray rebounder. One of the best boards in the game. Culkin is Culkin. Cute and malleable. Absolutely empty. Absolutely precious. Absolutely irritating. Maze in one of the new episodes of bar rescue. Ta'afra goes to rescue Alfre Kaminu's brother's bar. We haven't done that one yet, but it's coming soon. Jay Boyar of the Orlando Sentinel. Jay Boyar D. Tone. Home alone style slapstick with occasional almost random heart tugging. Not enough home alone slapstick. Brian Lowry of Variety. Kyle Lowry. Kyle Guy. Neither Macaulay Culkin nor Ted Danson has improved his luck in selecting projects with his schizophrenic comedy. Damn. That sounds of the moment. Scott Weinberg of efilmcritic.com. Hit the button. Me? Oh, something on sound board. This is Zach here. Rantlers. Yeah. The one with Macaulay Culkin and Ted Danson. Avoid at all conceivable cost. One with Macaulay Culkin and Ted Danson. What is it? A friends episode? Yeah. Marjorie Baumgarten of Austin Chronicle. Madison Baumgarten. The only point to this movie is to make Macaulay a millionaire. Pretty sure he already was. Oh, yeah. I thought you'll relate to that. Yeah. Kik Culkin got a new guest house. And then Lisa Schwartzbaum of Entertainment Weekly. I got a Schwartzbaum for. It's a Schwartzbaum. It probably sounded terrific in the pitch meeting. Did it? I can see that. We got Macaulay. We got Ted Danson. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Before you have those guys, did it sound good? Yeah. Well, Bobby Grizzellini was attached very early. That's right. Yeah. He was the first one attached. We'll get a means first note, base first note, and my first note after these messages, unless you are a Patreon subscriber, patreon.com. Slash count the dings at which you get an ad free episode. Right meow. I mean, what is your first note? I've told the Ted Danson story before, but this is as relevant as it's going to get as first time on Cinephobe. So let me do it again. I was on a flight from Phoenix to LA. I got on late because I was waiting for my food from a burger spot. I had the burger. I get in and of course I have the window seat. So I got to climb over the guy who's sitting in the aisle and I'm putting myself. I'm kind of like all flustered and stuff. And I put myself down and take out the burger. I start eating it and I hear an unmistakable voice say, that smells amazing. And I turn around, it's Ted Danson. Ted Danson sitting next to me. Oh, shit. Fucking cool. So I'm like, it's Ted Danson. Yo, you can't give away. So I just like, yeah, yeah, no, it's pretty good. Yeah. It's a place called whatever. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Okay. So then we're sitting there. And now usually when I get on flights, I tend to put on my headphones and zone out because I hate when people come on the plane and are like, oh, you're that guy from ESPN or whatever. So try to avoid it. But on this day, I'm like, all right, game on. Someone's going to notice me before they notice you Ted Danson. And then I'm going to have to say, yeah, kind of whatever. So I'm like making extreme eye contact with everybody who's born on the plane. Nobody recognizes like, oh, damn. But no one recognizes him either. So I'm like, we're good. We're good. We're good. Then like a little old lady was like, oh, Ted Danson. I love your show. And then I just opened the floodgates. First it was women. Then it was dudes. And he's gracious. He's nice to everybody. And I'm sitting there like, nobody, nobody. Okay, you bastards. So flight takes off and he falls asleep. But I'm doing my thing, whatever. As we're going into our initial descent, flight attendant comes up and says, I'm sorry, don't usually do this. Can I take a picture with you? And he says, sure. So she takes the pictures. As soon as he walks away, I lean over to him and I say, my dad loved you in Cheers, but I love you in Curb. His face lit up. All these people have been coming up to him. It was good place, good place, good place, good place. Cheers, good place, good place. I'm the only person on the flight, say Curb. So we get to talking about Curb. And he's like, oh, it's an amazing experience. But it's crazy in the show. He starts dating Cheryl. So friends are calling him up. I was like, I thought you and Mary Steen version are married. Like what happened? And he's like, guys, it's a TV show. It's not real. He's like, what do you do? I said, I work for ESPN. And he's like, oh, I love Charles Barkley. Like he doesn't work there, but okay. And then I take the picture, land in LA, get off the plane, meet this chick. He goes the other way. As we're walking down to where the Uber pickup is, I see Ted Danson coming the other way. I see him before he sees me. He's doing that 1,000-yard stare of celebrities at LAX. I don't want to see him. But as we get closer, he looks at me. Oh man, hey, how's it going? I give him one of these. What's up, man? And the girl was like, how do you know Ted Danson? And I was like, come on, man, me and take a long one. And you lied? Of course I lied. Of course. What am I supposed to do? Say I met him on the flight right now? Yeah. No. I played the whole thing off. Like I've been known Ted Danson. No, you could have told that whole terrible story. There are two. It's not a terrible story. Shut up. You liked it. I liked it until you started pandering him. He liked it because I mentioned Curb. He did like it because I mentioned Curb. One of the few celebrity pictures I have is me with Ted Danson. I'm just imagining you go, um, yeah. Ted, could I get a picture with you? That's exactly what I sounded like. Could I get a picture with you? That's exactly what I sounded like. There's no cool way to do that. I got way, way too excited when Amin said Ted Danson was complimenting his burger because I thought the story was going to go that Ted Danson was going to eat his burger. Oh. I'm joking. I'm joking. Did I have a bite? Also, I had a moment where I was like, did Amin give his burger to Ted Danson? Ted Danson. So I had to give him a bite. We've done that drop eight billion times on the show. You think I'm holding back the Ted Danson story? Hey, man, I can't stop myself from hoping. It's like watching action jacks and drive into the house. You know, maybe he's going to go up the stairs. That's right. There's never been a wish that was more fulfilled than that one, that car going up the stairs. Zach, what's your first note? My first note. Mace, what's your first note? This is Mace talking. I watched Heat last night, which is probably a mistake given that this movie is also about a heist, some thieves and the cops that tracked them down. Yeah. Similar premise. Little different execution here. Very different execution. Only a year apart. Somehow this movie probably felt longer. Oh, yeah. My first note. This is just me going off the picture. I'd never seen this movie before. I barely remember that existed. I'm not going to be able to handle them trying to make Kevin McAllister a badass with some grease lightning hair. The poster did not do him justice. His hair is so much more unhinged in the movie. He's a Dangerous Knights crew just on the sides. Look at this photograph. Oh, man. When you were telling the story last night, you had so much detail. The detail was so rich. It was a rich detail. Going through incredibly descriptive details of the story so we all know. Oh, yes. Now it's time for the scenes. Here's what happened. We're close up on some coins. Ted Danson is narrating. Put the song Money. That's What I Want by Barrett Strong. Great song. I had to confirm this in the chat, but birds and the bees. Oh, absolutely. 20CV. Let me do it like Ted Danson. This crazy old lady lived down alone down in Fremont. No friends, no relatives. The data country, the county barriers, sir. Nobody even shows. Couple days later, someone from the state tax office come poking around, sees this truck in her attic. What is he fine? A motherload of rare coins. Totally unseculated. Out. Self-cobra formula. Like they just came out of the mint. Now, can you do it again this time? Zone in and out between talking like that and talking like regular Ted Danson. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. This crazy old lady lived alone down in Fremont. No friends, no relatives. The data country, the county barriers, sir. Nobody even knows. Couple days later, someone from the state tax office comes poking around and sees this truck in her attic. Out. What is he fine? A motherload of rare coins. Totally unseculated. Like they just came out of the mint. Maybe her husband, who died a while back, had coins from years ago. Maybe she didn't even know they were there. So being there, no relatives or will, the state confiscates. Right. And then they're going to sell them. Auction of moth. Before they do that, my friends, these... Pass out. These coins need to be appraised. And that happens right here in San Francisco at the professional coin-credit service. Out. Which I looked up as a real thing except it's in Santa Ana. Yeah, it's nowhere near fucking City Hall. Not even close. Civic Center. No, absolutely not. Had some fun with the geography in this movie. But they do shoot everything in San Francisco, not Atlanta. So at least there's that. Yeah. Come on, man. The 20CB, baby, we're actually going. Odd, Zach, because I have the same scene, but my name is the coins have to be appraised. And that happens right here in Atlanta at the professional exposition grading service. This may be a different version. I think you're the director's cut, yeah. Maybe you clicked on the wrong version on Pluto TV again. Doesn't it Spanish movie? Oh, that's a good point, yeah. There's trash going down a chute into a dumpster. An absurd ponytail situation. In this moment, Samurai Cop level did not notice it. You didn't notice it. It's all I could focus on. Took me a while. I know what means going to think of all these things in the background, all these little touches and everything. I just stared at his ponytail the whole movie. It's so stupid. It seemed like it was attached to the hat in this scene. It did. Like the Samurai Cop wig. Yeah. But he's talking to Saul Rubinak and Carl in Civic Center Plaza. Would you call him Bobby Ravioli? Bobby Grizzellini. Carl is blotting mustard on his $60 silk tie. Yeah. You can buy a thousand silk ties. You can be the silk tie king of San Francisco, babe. What? But first you got to pay some kind of attention here. Dumb fat Carl says the trick is to blot. Don't rub it. Maze, I need you to clip American gangster. That's right. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't rub on that. You blot that. You understand? That's alpaca. That's $25,000 alpaca. You blot that shit. You don't rub it. Put the club soda on there. Before he says you can be the silk tie king of San Francisco, they all stop in their tracks and look at this woman who walks by. That's off. Cut to an apartment, more dance and talk. So the question is my friends, how much was this widow worth when they load into the bottle's field? Plops a newspaper down a million five. That's 750 grand to us a quarter mil apiece. My friends is a horseman. His ponytail and accent are horsemen. The fence is a guy named Dobbs. I know what a fence is because I watched heat. Captain Dobbs. Lou Dobbs. Warfula. How does he do it? Don't worry. We'll exposition all of it. He's a real specialist. He moves him to Hong Kong and Europe. Why specific and then not? We got a breakdown of script writing. Europe. Okay. Carl. Carl Struggling. He had pronounced the Latin word numismatist and Saul loses his fucking shit. He should have lost his shit for Carl's explanation. I had pizza in my face. That's a good point, though. He had pizza in his face. Two and a half minutes into this movie, Carl's had a hot dog and pizza. And these are the same writers who came up with Pee Wee? You're telling me that? Look, man. No fucking way. They love a fat guy with food. They just do. It's a shame they didn't get a hold of the Blart franchise. Yeah. It's a real misalignment of areas right there. Yeah. Imagine Kevin James running this offense. To be fair, in the Richie Rich episode, we said that there are some lines even Kevin James won't cross. As far as what the writers did to Pee Wee. Yeah. Saul Rubin X outfits this entire movie. Bobby Grizzellini? Bobby Grizzellini. He's got a leather jacket. Then he's got a dress shirt that's unbuttoned all the way down. Unbuttoned. To his belly button. All the time. Tucked into his pants. No matter what he's wearing. And then an undershirt underneath and a little dangly earring. His forearms are covered, though, right? The leather jacket's arms. No, no, no, no. Then we're going to push those up. OK. But don't worry. There'll be a leather vest at some point. Also, somehow, his leather light's on fire. We'll get to that later. Phone rings. Dancing says don't get it. It's probably Naked. Well, I thought you liked Naked. I do. I did. Until she got me that stupid plant. Believe me. When a lady gives you a plant, it's her little way of testing you. Like if you can take care of it, it's a sign to her that she can move the relationship to the next level. Trust me. When a woman gives you something, you got to water, feed or take for a walk. Time to dump her. Yep. Well, I can tell you this. You sure look sick. Dies or dies. This lesson in women, dude. This seems like some mean logic right here. I will lie. I took notes. This is to establish that he's an expert. And that's what I noticed his ponytail. That's what, oh my God. He goes to the fridge. He pops open three butt heavies, butt heavies all over this movie. 20 CVs. You guys in? They pretend like they're out for a minute. But they're in. They're down. Let's go. Let's rob this fucking coin operation. Grab a deal. Yeah, you got a fucking deal. That's the dancing, decorating the cake with the boys. What is going on? That's when I said nail file in the cake. Oh, that's what. Okay. They're going to break someone out. And I'm like, no, they're not in jail or whatever. Right. I got a little confused here. And I was like, oh, this is part of his scheme, his ruse. No, no, no. This is his job. It's a day job. Why is he wearing ladies glasses? But his two cronies come to work with him. They just hang out. I guarantee Bobby Grease lady being where food is prepared is a health code violation, even in the 90s. So it's dumb fat Carl, man. I'm gonna. The dude is poking, putting fingers, looking at it. What are you doing, dude? I seriously need to know, one, do they have a home? Or is this a Prezzi situation? This is absolutely a Prezzi situation. Where is Carl hiding all those suits, though? Two, how is Carl paying for his suits? $60 soaked eyes. And where is he keeping them? Is his whole apartment a storage space with suits? I thought about Carl a lot. I think he comes from money. He's just doing this for friends. Friends and food. I mean, well, he's an idiot. So that makes sense. He's a nepo baby. He's a nepo baby. Absolutely. That's a big nepo baby. There's a corn auction next Wednesday. They're moving to the auction house on Monday. Saul's getting excited about a heist on the move. Armored car. He thinks he's in heat. Major firearms, AK-47s. Oh, I think he's in heat. Bazookas. Is that why you watched heat? Good job, base. Ted Danzin says, we're not trying to invade Iraq. And I said, oh, I would like to do this job without having to wear a flak jacket. Besides, we'll never find one that fits Carl. Oh, flip that one in there. Get it? Because Carl's fat. Carl's also poking at the cake right now because he's fat. I'm sure Carl's doing something to distract from the fact that he's a bit- Don't fuck the cake. You have any idea why I took me to do this? Carl says Ted reminds him of that Michael dude who does the ceiling over in Italy. I swear to God, if this is a Michelangelo joke that he's too stupid to know who that is. They are lambasting this fat dumb guy. Jesus. I was waiting for him to hit me with the 16th Chapel. Yeah, absolutely. The second biggest letdown of this movie. The first is we hear about Nadine. We see a picture of Nadine. We never actually get Nadine. Ever get her though. I was so upset. I got excited when I saw the picture. Yeah. Be too. When the credits rolled up, I was like, wait a second, where's Nadine? Nadine hasn't showed up yet. There's got to be more movie. Michelangelo, that's him. Except you, you paint with frosting. For my money, that's much better. This is beautiful. Because I'm a fat. Wait. So he's a cake chef? Yes. Cake decorator? Yes. The whole time I'm like, okay, how's this fit in? What's the big picture? Bobby is smoking in the cake kitchen. That's what happens when you let an unhoused man hang out with you at work. This is 20 CB, but not for the reason you think. It makes Carl stand near him so he doesn't poke the cake again. Cut to a convertible, driving on the open road with a couple in the front and Kevin Macalester with a camcorder in the back seat. Coach Gerber and Aunt Flusey and Kevin Macalester, AKA Macali, not getting a good enough angle here. Let me sit on top of the trunk. No seat belt. Forget about no seat belt. This is 1994. You didn't have to wear a seat belt. They're going on the highway too. We didn't have clicker to take it back then. They're going fast on the highway. He should absolutely have fallen out. Augusta, when should have taken them out? He can't be more than 45 pounds. He should have flown out of there. Uncle Flusey is having Aunt Flusey feed him. They are housing a burger, like a mean on a flight next to Ted Danson. Double whopper. Timmy knew it was all in disguise. No real human could ever eat three double whoppers in one sitting. Okay, that's it. I told him no more with the bull, Joe. Come on, buddy. Let's go. Give me that cammy a little bit. All right. Give it here. If you're listening and you're thinking to yourself, oh, yeah, I mean, I could see someone with a receding hairline might be sensitive. Look at this photograph on YouTube. He's bald. He's bald. He's not balding. He's like saying, Kojak is balding. He's bald. Reference? Timely reference? Do you want to see me? Swirling all over the road like Brad Wesley. They spin out. Oh, I said like the middle ball. Topical. You're trying to kill us? Give me that cammy a little junk. Arian lashes out spewing secret sauce. Come here. Give it here. Kitty's trying to calm down the situation. They spill shit everywhere. He's worried about the seats. They keep bickering. They pull into a gas station. As Macaulay is going to get some towels to clean up, we hear in the background some nice. Hello, exposition. That nobody would take him. Kind of like that. He looks sad. And we get sad music to let us know that he said cut to dancing and Bobby Griesley trying to get Carl to understand what he has to do. He tries to get him to remember high school science class for the teacher. Did the demonstration with the rats in the maze 20 CB. You were probably sick that day. Golden dumpster. I laughed pretty hard. Create a situation where the guards go where they want. Saul talks about boosting VCRs. Did four years in Folsom for stealing beta maxes. Yo, beta max, which you can't even sell. Not like a VHS machine. I laughed 20 CB. We had a beta max. You had beta max. We did at one point. Yeah. Oh, Bill Harper made the decision. Everyone in America had to make a decision at one point. It was probably cheaper. It wasn't. I'm telling you, if my dad took that over the VCR, it's because it was cheaper. Never mind. OK. Yeah. You got a deal. I know my dad as legend has it, beta max was a better quality. But two things were going against it. One was he couldn't go longer than 60 minutes. So you needed two tapes for movies. And two, it was more expensive than the VHS. And that's why VHS won. Ted stops the bickering. We walk in, walk out. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Knock at the door. It's kitty, your sister. Bobby Grecilini is wearing a damn flashy shirt with a leather vest on. And his shirts are never button. Never. And tucked in. She calls them Rocky and Bullwinkle 20 CB reference. Should have called first. She called 10 times. Carl says he thought it was Nadine. She declines a beer. She got married three hours ago. Timmy comes in and says, hi, dad. Film noir. Whistful music sting. Now I see what his hair looks like. And his hair is unhinged. They drove down from Reading to get married. And they're leaving on their honeymoon right now. Yep. Good planning. To be fair, that is Reading behavior. No doubt. Kitty says to be a good boy and have fun when she gets back. Pop will put her on a bus back to Reading. Pop. That's a six hour bus ride, guys. Minimum. She's Teddy Rexing her fucking ass off. Still got one scene. She's got to make the most of it. Dancing shook. He goes after Kitty. This is a bad time. And Timmy asks, so are you guys ex cons too? Can't have him around. She had him last three years as they're arguing. This might be my golden dubster. Wayne, the bald guy. Yo, yeah. Honks the horn. She goes to the window in the hallway. He was so happy to see her arms out ass off. I thought he'd be pissed because he's honking the horn. Same. Yeah. No, he just want to say, I love you. I miss you. This is great. He said three Whoppers. He got married. Yeah. He's having a good day. He's getting rid of this fucking kid who calls a bald all the time. He's going to go on his honeymoon. Can't wait. Dancing's telling Aunt Flusey I got something big going on. She's like, look, all you got to do is make sure he flosses. And I said, that is not all you have to do in watching a kid. The entirety of parenting right there. 20 CB. We get exposition that Kitty's had him for three years. She also is dressed ridiculously. She's got this dress jacket combo. It's out of control. She'll be back Saturday. She won't say where she's going and Ted angrily punches a railing with his ass on. Didn't buy it. Bobby Greece. Let me freaking out about Timmy hanging around. He wants to go the aquarium. And of course they got to go to a Giants game, the natural history museum. He made itinerary schedule of events. Got to explain to them what an itinerary is. Giants game. You got any business you could leave me here. Go drive three hours away. Future note. Almost future note. All right. He starts to look at blueprints. They snatched away from that's plans for cake. Wonders why they're nervous. Got something to hide. Ted asked for a few minutes. Luckily, Carl's hungry anyway. Great writing. We got a breakdown to script writing. And they go to the kitchen five feet away. Here's a picture of me and mom. Love it. And it's him at the grave site. Love this. Look at this photograph. Every time I do it makes me laugh. This is Terminator salvation. That's what death tastes like levels of what the fuck. I wanted this to be Bow out formula so badly. Oh my God. His hair was unhinged in the photo in a different way than his hair is unhinged in the scene. Dan says that's real nice. Timmy says you got to water that dying plant. Time for a talk. How you doing in school? He's the 95th percentile of the achievement test. Stanford achievement test. Is that that state team? No, it's not. There's a standardized test that they gave you every year. Yeah, we were taking it every year in grade school. Got it. Ted wonders, is that good? Well, that's great. So you're dating yet? I'm 11. Oh, it's good to wait. I might something start dating till I was 11 and a half CT five dads. What are you talking about? Well, this is good. I'm glad we had this little talk. We should do it more often, but not right now. Unfortunately, you picked a bad week to come. And I'm not going to be able to spend any time with you. See, he also didn't pick the week. He swamped lots of cakes this week. Can he tell me you learned to do that in prison? Make cakes? Yeah, it was kind of a course that took. I wanted to get into counterfeiting class, but it was all full up. Mack is playing with a compass. He asked what prison was like. Did he try escaping? Escaping? No, they kind of frowned on that. Head sides posted and everything. Golden dubster. I like that. Did you get my letters? I said over the top. Also, did you like that suit I bought you? You the sad music. You never wrote me back. What was I going to say? Having a great time. Wish you were here. And I said, he's got a point. Never even sent Macaulay a birthday card. Ted sends him to the pizza parlor 20 CB. Here's 20 bucks. And then on his way out, he turns right into a door. He says, if it isn't too much to ask, dad, can I use your bathroom? But he doesn't want to go to the bathroom. He just wants to cook from afar as Ted dancing gives the pep talk for the plan to the team. Saul is mad. He never knew about Ted's kid. What's Carl doing? Carl's eating peanut butter. Gotta eat. Oh, peanut butter. It just fills the cracks of the heart. Loudly talking about the kid blowing the whole thing. Gonna work around him. He's just a kid. Yeah. No way he's going to find anything out. I'm going to say it louder for the people at the back. Where did Bobby Grieselini learn how to whisper? Helicopter. That for tomorrow. We nail it. We nail it clean. Is that a sentence? What? It is. You're fucking them. You're fucking them hard. It's like hitting a home run in the bottom of the ninth inning. If he slept on the couch, dancing wakes him up, Tommy's leaving, gives him some money. He stays on the blanket dancing will be back late. 20CB. Not because they did it, but because they showed this in a movie and parents who were there with their children and watched the McCully Logan movie didn't think twice. Yeah, kids 11. Stay out of trouble. As soon as he leaves the house, McCully immediately starts touching everything in the apartment. This is exactly what my child will do. Nosey as shit, looking through everything, turn everything apart, kid picks up a cigar, pretends to smoke it, not anywhere near the technique he had in the Good Sun where he looked very comfortable holding a cigarette. Roll up blinds. 20CB. That took me back. Grip strengthener. 20CB. They still have those, but they've changed a little bit. Jar full of pennies. 20CB. Only pennies was wild. No dimes, no nickels. Not a single dime. No. He puts his grave photo in front of one with the Tootsie. That's Nadine. Nadine. To be fair, I mean, we don't know that that's Nadine. We know that's Nadine. Look at her. That's a Nadine. That's a Nadine if I've ever seen one. Maybe it's a, how to be a player situation. And he swaps out the photos. Ted Danson in that picture. He's got a whiskey drink or a brown liquor drink. And then he's got a beer too. Just let everybody know. Sure. Yeah. You got even and out. Timmy starts pretending he's on the bulls, but he finishes the play with Scotty Pippin dunking. Bull steel down by one. Jordan to Pippin, Pippin to Paxson. Paxson to Pippin. He got Paxson in there. Yeah. How did Paxson make it in here? He's a white. Slam dunk. 20 CB. You want to be J. Armstrong? He finds the paper with the coin article circled. Oh my God. It's in the trash right there. Got to the coin building. Bobby Grieselini dressed as a construction worker running into people like Carla Gugino in a fucking arena. They're all dressed like Super Mario brothers to me. Yes. The all whites. Yeah. Saul has a hard hat vest and a bright red toolbox. He puts up tape to make the elevator out of order, but he also has a gun in the toolbox that he never uses. Carl says they can do this. No sweat. They've got painter supplies. They've got toy walkie talkies. They walk right in. No issue. With sunglasses on because construction workers with sunglasses on indoors. Totally normal. Then they start talking in code, but it's not a very good code. Rent a cop has arrived. Detour is wired. I'm like, this is not good code. It's not heat. I'll tell you that. No, it sure is. It's not even horrible bosses. There's the last name. They grab the coins. Elevator goes to two and so the basement. They'll walk the rest of the way because the elevator dance and jokes. Yo, don't shoot fellas and they give him nothing. Why would you say that? How do we can speak with absolutely nothing? You would just be painting. You would even think twice. It's comedy. Yeah. And then Carl's fed ass pops out. Carl double fist pepper spray gets a both. They take their guns off. They toss them in paint. They hog tie the guards. Does that work? Hog time. No. Tossing a gun in paint and now it won't work anymore. I don't think it was to make it not work. I think it was to hide it. Maybe I don't know. They drill into the box. They take all the coins. Car driver radios in to ask where they are. I said, oh, this is me and Amina's over. Of course. Let's add him to the shadows when I said. Yeah. The both of you is taking a dump together. That's against regulations. To get your status. That and Carl run away, slide down the trash shoot. But Carl, you know, he's not confident about it. So fuck. He trips and falls face first and we get a POV shot of Carl going down the slide. Go on, buddy. At the beginning of the movie, he sees that shoot and he says, I've always wanted to go down on those things. And now he's scared to do it. But then also him going down face first into construction trash. His brains are splattered all over the inside of that dumpster. Rebuttal. What brains? Brains. When you go to understand this is a business and a business you need. What brains? You said that. What you saying? You're saying I got no brains? I don't give a shit what you put on the sound board of the future. Clip that whole scene right now. It's all drives of in right into traffic. And oh my God, Carl's tumbling around the back like Norm. Bobby Greason Laney is driving insane. Unhinged. He almost got held and hunted. You're trying to be inconspicuous. You dumb fuck. Pop cars go right past them and they laugh and relief. This is not like he guys. That was too easy. This is not like he to horsemen. These are not like the pros. This is not the pros. Okay. What are the rules here? 21 is the name of the game. But we only played a 20 cut to Timmy at home. Watering the plant watching newscast position about the coin robbery. Hello exposition. He looks confused. He finds the newspaper again in case you forgot. One and a half million dollars cut to dancing on a pay phone and his accent is fucking everywhere here. Oh, you talk about when he's doing some phone calls position, which is absolutely horsemen. This deal is COD and I said 20 CV COD. Not what they agreed. They're doing this in front of Pier 28 under the Bay Bridge in Atlanta. Oh, so you were bummed out that Nadine was in this movie. I was bummed out that Dobbs never showed up. Oh, Dobbs is just an unseen voice on the end of the phone. I just assume he's from the quest. Lord Dobbs. Lord Dobbs. It makes sense. Well, no, it makes all it hard. Timeline. Timeline is so wrong. Listen to me here. No, all the fuck on Hong Kong. Dobbs was in Hong Kong. In the 30s. Europe. He's European. This is the 90s. He's still alive. Lord Dobbs would have to be a fucking immortal warlock. And we know he's not based on how he handled certain situations. What? You don't think he could talk his way out of death? Oh, we were just looking for your death. Exactly. I was actually coming to get you. Yeah. Tell us the guys. Change of plans. Dobbs needs more time to get the cash. So now it's Sunday. Six days away. Bobby's concerned back home. Timmy's making a sandwich as he hears them get home. He starts videotaping them getting out this little snitch. Dancing takes it to the roof. Nobody comes up here. Bobby wonders if dance will come up here when they're not around. He wants to share now each coin packs a different value when they get the money. That's when they split it and Carl agrees because he's just hungry. And this is the part where Maze's note of how much cocaine are in those cigarettes. Yo, Bobby Grizzellini is paranoid. He's already spread it advance. He doesn't have on cocaine. He is doing PCP suppositories. I'm convinced he's got an IV drip slowly releasing more drugs into his bloodstream. Guys, I'm fucking hinged. To be fair, Bobby Grizzellini does hear the cucking of Macaulay Culkin in the background. Yeah. But when he goes to search for Macaulay easily hides under a bench because of course, on the staircase to the roof of your building, there's always a bench right there. Ted wonders if he saw Mike Wallace in the 60 minute crew. Reference. And Carl is a one man dock rivers laughing his ass off at this joke. After that 60 minute reference, let's get a Fort Knox reference in there. 20 CB. He wants to buy them a beer. Then Ted goes to check on him and he's pretending to be asleep on the couch with the TV on, but he's faking it. Yes. Because as soon as the Rolling Stones stop me up, his eyes pop open. Cut to an animal print stripper dancer or some shit. I don't know. Are they in a strip club? Is this a strip club or is this just a go-go dancer? I don't think it is. It turns out it's just a club. Okay. But they wanted to put in our adult brains. This is a strip club, but we can't show a strip club. I think you're right. Because Grizzellini sit in a leather chair. He's off on the other side of the fucking club. Staring daggers, smoking cocaine heaters. Okay, eaters. Mac steals the Nike bag from the roof and walks down to the corner. He's trying to get his dad killed. Mm-hmm. This is not getting even with dad. This is getting dad murdered. In no uncertain terms. Dancing Things, this is his first chance in life to have a future. And Timmy goes to Chinatown where we see Jujugati when he mails the videotape. Ted wants to start his own bakery where they give you the keys to be your own boss. Nice exposition. One big score. Turn the corner. This is it. I have a future now. Saul's missing. He's trying to climb out the bathroom. They argue so fucking loud. Why would he have to go through? I don't know why would you doubt, but why would he have to go through the bathroom window? That place is fucking massive. Bobby Grizzellini is not good at Irish goodbye. That's an Italian goodbye. Yeah. I think he's trying to trick them into thinking that he's still there. I guess. But it doesn't matter because what this scene is really about is the unhoused gentleman in the alley who overhears every detail of their plan because they love to go out in public and shout about their coin heist that they've done. This is not heat. Is that our horseman? It has to be the horseman. Okay. And I know we didn't watch heat the night before, but this has to be. Golden dumpster. The unhoused gentleman takes a swig out of his paper bag bottle, twists the cap to close it, looks at it, untwists, takes another. Another one. Yeah. Absolutely. They go back up to the roof to divide the coins. They're going to take one out one at a time because they're all different values. You have to explain that a bunch of times, but it's gone. And Macaulay wants to talk. Excuse me, guys. I think we better talk. Spread the coins out on the table and videotape it with this camera. All I wrote was the ass whoopings of all ass whoopings. He should have whooped Macaulay's ass, but we get Macaulay expositioning the whole scheme. And Dancin has the interesting parenting method of blowing smoke up his own kids' ass. Oh, let's do them all. Let's just, uh, the kids, yeah, he got us. He got us good. Where are the coins now? So the coins, where are the coins? Wouldn't you like to know? And Bobby Grizzellini loses his shit. He is coked out of his mind. Well, don't say that because my next note is not going to look so good. He says, if I sass my old man, he would have took the belt to me. And I said, same note too, bro. I thought Bobby guy and Grizzellini had a point. It's the cocaine dogged. So then Ted Dancin says, okay, so I'm not the model fodder. You're angry. I understand that, but I know something. You were never right on your flesh and blood. And the kid says, just try me. My fist would have been through his face out the back of his skull at that point. I am so bad that I did not pick up on the Italian until so much later in the movie, man. What? I don't know what I was missing, but it's going in and out. Of course. McCauley says he needs to call his friend every night with a new password. This little dork is 11. That shit ain't real. And this is a remarkable complex system. Maybe this is heat after all. No. Money starts playing again as they tear up the apartment looking for coins. We got to montage, montage the horseman and big fucking surprise. Carl gets distracted by peanuts. Fatley. You're not even warm. He says warmer colder. Is that a 20 CB? Yeah, probably. Saul lights up another cocaine heater in the house. Saul thinks Mac is bluffing. He waves at them smugly. Okay. He's not bluffing. Okay. He's not bluffing. I think they all underestimate that an ass whooping is still an ass whooping. He can have this complicated system. Then you whoop his ass like never mind. It's over there. Well, Ted's going to do that. He's going to kill him and Saul says now we're talking, but then Ted says, my son and all the I could kill him. You can't kill him. I'm the one that kills. What's nobody wants? Bobby says he's not getting any of his share. It's dancing. Kid. He gives him his share. What's the point? It's not my share. It's your share. Sure. I'm like, buddy, calm down. Why would you even say all these things? Bobby tries to catch him in some cocaine logic, but if stealing's wrong, how come he stole the coins from us? Don't call it cocaine logic because I said Bobby Grizzellini keeps making good points. A mean saying because I said as a horseman, that's one of the things in heat is that Al Pacino decided that his character was secretly doing cocaine. The whole movie, not in the movie, but that he's done cocaine off screen. So I took that same logic, applied it. This is like heat. Bobby Grizzellini eats me. Going to come back. This is like heat as a horseman. Yes. Dancing tries to explain that coins don't belong to anybody now. The government stole them. Huh? Money's gotta go and buy limousines for fact, get politicians, but I'll buy a bakery. See, he's actually a good guy. He's actually kind of a Robin Hood figure. It's a Robin Hood. Better go straight. He steals from the rich and gives to himself. The cakes. Then he gives the case to the people for money. Expand and hire more people. Those people pay taxes. Eventually the government gets its money back. Your dad will have respectable business. No more crime. He's through. He's straight, Tim. Oh. So what you're saying is you want to go straight, but in order to do that, you have to steal? Yeah. I'm 11. That seems dumb even to me. Saul wants to hang him off the roof by his ankles. He wants to sug-night him like the five heartbeats. Not the last sug-night reference of this podcast. Dancing asks again what he wants. Ever since I got here, you've ignored me. I was playing on rubbery. So will you expect me to take you camping? To say, want to know what I want? I said a cobra formula. Macaulay holds out his itinerary as a list of demands. I want you to pretend you like having me around for a week. If you do a real good job, dad, I'll tell you where the coins are. He's taking the bed. Macaulay takes the bed and kicks Marlon Wayans to the couch. That's right. Cut to the police station. The unhoused gentleman is snitching for 50 bucks. God damn it, man. 50 bucks. Give him his 50 bucks. 1994? That was good money. Yeah. He is the richest unhoused gentleman. He's also Tony medley because he says, I think their names are Ray and Bob, you know, those guys on the radio. Yeah. He's accurate. Yeah. There was a Bob and Ray radio partnership. I'm sorry. The fence is a guy named Dobbs. He heard that part clear. They say the informant is from Wynos RS. Oh, 20 CB. 20 CB. For sure. The word Wynos itself is 20 CB. And then RS. Double 20 CB there. CT5 hats on dirty rotten scoundrels. Theresa did some cross check based on what the Wynos said. She has files for dancing in Bobby. She literally solved the case already. Yeah. Yeah. She figured out who did it based on overhearing Ray and Bob. She found four major coin robberies in the last two years. Those are all Dobbs. She solved the crime. She's a good detective. Well, he's really good. Well, and they are ignoring the shit out of her because of misogyny. Well, okay. That explains why it means pushing back. Yes. Not all cops are bad says this is small potatoes just because some juicer. And I said, whoa. Juicer. The ur comes in very late. It's late and soft. Exactly. Like me after the sun goes down. Like Zach after hours. Elizondo is going around the office looking for supplements. 20 CB. Not all cops are bad says I got to go talk to Sharon Stone in interrogation. I said reference. Brand new. Also, Sarah Francisco. She wants to do a surveillance to nail them all at once. He'll give her a few more days. We get exposition about him being friends with her father. probation reporters coming up soon. So don't blow this. Hello exposition cut the dance and his PTO at the bakery. Yeah. Well, he's actually cashing them out in advance. That's right. Yeah. For a family emergency. He's saying, hey, Mr. Wankmueller. Yeah. That's a Wankmueller. He gives us a real flexible schedule and also hires an ex con. He's a nice guy. But also, have you seen the case that happened when Ted Dancin doesn't show up? That's true. Yeah. That's why you need to. Bobby hates this. Sol and Carl are coming along in case McCauley spills the beans on the coins. Cops are doing recon like taff or outside of a filling bar. And we've got the Lady Cop watching with her Nikon F801. No. A higher end consumer camera. Although the shutter noise they have is very annoying. When they get in the car, Bobby Griesolini gets a cigarette out from a packet of cool. Look at this photograph. It's 20 C.V. not because he's smoking in a bakery, but because this is all product placement. Yeah. In a kids movie, you're despicable big tobacco. This might be the last product placement in movies before the big tobacco bill happened in America. This is what thank you for smoking is all about. Is this right here? Did McCauley pick up some panties when he got in the car? A bra and he says, ooh, I love they go to the aquarium. One of the detectives says he expects them to come right out with a porpoise under each arm. I said, porpoise 20 C.P. Porpoise, ballistic X versus seven. Good point. They're at the Academy of Sciences in the heart of Golden Gate Park in Atlanta. Carl is amazed at the fish. Dumb fat Carl says, hey, Bob, look, fish. Bobby Griesolini says we're in an aquarium. What did you expect to see elephant? That's a recurring bit. Bobby Griesolini making a lot of salient points. Then Carl says, haha, look at the lip thought this guy. And I said, are you thinking what I'm thinking? And this is the point where I wrote down. What is this accent? Dancing is doing either do it or don't do it. Oh, man. All fish have a defense position with squirt black ink. McCauley explains it's not really ink and squid aren't a fish. Go to a fish restaurant. You order Calamari. What do you get? You get squid right up. Self-corbo formula. Ted Lally interrupts a tour to ask if a squid is a fish. It's a cephalopod. This is a golden dubster fish on a guy's jacket. He thinks he's an expert. I like that. You asked him. Didn't give him the answer. He wanted Ted wonders how McCauley got so smart. I don't know. Certainly doesn't run in the family. You little shit. And that's that for the Academy of Science. Cut to a Giants game. Bat day at Candlestick RIP. Bat day, 20 CB. They'll do the mini bats now. It'd be a toothpick shaped like a bat. These MFers gave out full like Louisville sluggers. And my man Ted dancing goes sank or sank. Full crossover. How many times the Lakers play the Celtics in the finals? Who was the last giant to win the MVP award? Barry Bonds, 1993. That was literally last year. Yeah. Because they ADR'd it. Because originally it was not Barry Bonds. But then they went and got Barry Bonds. And all of a sudden they have MVPs again. That's right. Saul's getting poked with a bat by Jason Pellegrini. So he yells at Jason Pellegrini's dad. Who is ass on as he asks for all the bats. 100,000 kids with like lethal weapons here. What's next? Eat cleaver day? Who's he day? Again, Bobby Grizzellini. Good points. Okay. I don't like where this is going. No, he saw where it was going. And sure enough, enough drunken nights on bad day. And they stopped doing it. He's on so much cocaine. Everything's a weapon to him. What doesn't make it any less real or right, Zach? His cocaine usage. McCauley points out that even Bobby Grizzellini doesn't trust Ted dancing. So he can't either. And big surprise guys. I know you were wondering where Carl was. Yeah. Where is Carl? He's waiting in the long line for snacks. And as he comes back, he dumps popcorn all over the place. Because someone trips him or something? No, it's because he's fat and clumsy. Fatly. Oh, okay. And dumb. And I did like this. I thought this was funny. Bobby Grizzellini wants his ice cream sandwich. Oh, it's under the hot dogs. It's melted. It's still cold. He's got a good point though. It's still cold. I said that you eat it. That is the saddest looking ice cream sandwich, man. Even if it wasn't melted, Bobby's going to get his own. It gets up, bumps into the bats that were just collected the second ago. This is so ass on. This is comedy. There's a hit. The crowd all stands up. He throws his arms in the air. Jogado. The bats are all standing up. He falls. He kicks the bats. And now they're rolling. Now they're rolling logs. Like a Hannah Barbera cartoon. And now he's standing up. And now he goes tumbling down the stairs. Hungkreet. Yeah, they're in the upper deck too. He would be fucked up. Candlestick, man. Candlestick was a shit hole. But it was our shit holes, Zach. Well, sure. Yeah, but that was not a good stadium. I'd give anything for that shit hole back. What? Fuck Levi's stadium. Oh, wait, Pack Bell. Hold on. Giants, man. Giants. We're at a Giants game. Yeah. Gilran Art is running out the stadium right now. Well, that's why I said that's Teresa's watching all this in the background somewhere. You can see a man running out to do some knife sets. Lady in the Stanford hat, crossing her arms. Now they're in a fishing boat on Stowe Lake in Golden Gate Park. We're back to the park. She's cooking in bushes. Poorly. You say poorly. I say that's the next level. God, she's coming out those reeds. Didn't anybody teach you how to cast before? No, my father was in jail. God is ass. Who's that man? That was a pretty good banter. Ted's dad didn't teach him either. And that's when Mack explains what dysfunctional means. You've been watching too much Oprah. Bobby and Carl on the land. Bobby's freaking out that they're speaking alone. Did a bunch more coke after the baseball game. Well, he did because he says I'll get him alone just once and I'll make him talk. I said, oh, what is with a means picks and the Pluto TV era? Tough. Bobby gets fish hooked comedy. Cut to the California Academy of Sciences. Back to the Academy of Sciences. I hope they do reentry and not buying another ticket, but also they close at five. No way you go to a baseball game fish. Is this all one day? Yes. This is day one. Jesus Christ. They go to the aquarium. They go to the game. They go to the park. They fish. They go back to the aquarium, the Academy of Science. I don't know if it's day one. They're not dressed the same. Bobby Grease. Elini's wearing a blue shirt at the Giants game here. He's wearing a red shirt at the museum. Well, that could be the blood that he was covered after falling down concrete stairs. It's a good boy. Carl says zebras look like horses with stripes. No matter that, Carl. No, wrong. He's talking about endangered species, which has coked out Bobby Grease Elini, getting a plan because he heard endangered species. No, it's a vision. He's just imagining Timmy as an animal on all fours. At a watering hole. What the fuck is happening? And I thought, as Timmy goes into the bathroom, is this still the fantasy or is this real life? And I got really uncomfortable. His shirt is unbuttoned so low. But it's tucked in. But tucked in. So it's all right. It's the way it is. It's fucking fashion style. More drove as a horseman. I'm up fucking McCully with the sleeveless button-up shirt over a t-shirt. Now you have to. That I feel like happens. I don't know what Saul Rubineck is doing. He's tailing him. But every time Timmy turns to look, he turns back. McCully is standing on the toilet. So when Saul follows him into the bathroom, he assaults a different random child. Daddy, he's watching me. Be. Why is the kid standing facing the door? He turned him around. Did he? OK. He's pissing on his fucking shoe. Yeah. Which means his hog is out. Don't call it a hog when it's a child. Sorry. My bad. I got confused because I mean super Daisy chain is F. Steen Island. Oh, what the fuck? There's not enough people in this movie. Dad comes over, clocks him, Timmy looks over the stall door and does the McCully Culkin face. Now they're at a skating rink. What a fucking day. Dirty Rods Goundrels is a horrible recon cop. She would fill every mission in Assassin's Creed. She's amazing on the desk. She's terrible in the field. In the field. Absolutely. Cops wonder who the kid is. Lady cop says he has to be Ted's son because he's too good looking. What? The child. What is happening? CT5 worst cops. Oh yeah. Gleason is good looking. I wonder what his sign is. And I said, I like this guy, man. Oh boy. Bobby and Carl struggling on the ice dancing falls while posing and being videotaped. The detective is falling in love. Carl is skating in a full suit. He doesn't need more hurdles to athletic achievement or let this man get some athleisure. He's pretty athletic. He's skating in a suit. He's with everything in a suit. The only time he gets out of a suit is when he's dressed like Super Mario Brothers. Got to the home. He calls his friend with a new password, gives tactical redundancy to his friend. I thought, oh, this is probably a fake phone call. He's just been faking this the whole time. Thought so too. No. We'll never get that. Well, we don't know. They drop it entirely. That's true. Yeah. We don't know what he mailed either. That never comes back. He also paces like a bingo. Allow me to demonstrate. That'll be good on an audio podcast. I know, but I'm doing it for you guys. Okay. When I paced, I walked the link to the room. Not McCully. He knows his frame is right here. So he paced like this back and forth and this one little space. He's a good actor, man. Yeah. That's good acting. It's blocking. It's good blocking is what it is. Yeah. Bobby's icing his cocaine headache with an ice tray. A tray on top of his head. The whole tray. Yeah. Taking him a few more places. A loose enough. He'll tell us better the next time you see his face. It's going to be on a milk carton. 20 CB. How milk cartons might be 20 CB to be honest. Yeah. So to be clear, day one, because I'm convinced it's one day. If it's two days, they do not explain it. Academy of science, baseball game, fishing, back to the academy of science, ice skating, all before dark. That's pretty accurate. Well, day two is a roller coaster at great America. Now does Amin love this G force effect as much as he claimed it was hilarious and spies like us. I knew you guys were going to Mason do anything. No, I knew you guys would do this. I knew it. I knew it would come up. Just me guy. Me guy did it. Z boy. I don't care. You guys are together. You white. You've been Affleck. Whoa. This is Zach accusing here. No, because they're doing it artificially. They have a fan or whatever. No, they have really terrifying golden dumpster prosthetic mouths that they put on everyone. Sure. It's scary when spies like us did it. Those guys were making those faces. They were ass off. Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, they did that shit. Didn't need prosthetics. Didn't need a fan or anything. Wasn't funny. It was hilarious when they did it. Wasn't funny. You want to go grab some coffee? Come on, man. It's in the trailer. It's in the trailer. Is it a trump card? As it is. Bobby Grizzellini's hat somehow stays on while they go on all these roller coasters. Carl throws up. Lady cop is riding the carousel taking surveillance pics. That should be something that people in an amusement park flag. Yeah. Someone taking pictures like a bingo. Yes. Let me go call security. Now the contours. Do you love me starts playing repeat offender from Teen Wolf 2. Same note too. And now they're in some kind of like Elvis retro recording studio. They did have this in malls and shit. Shoot your own music video. Yeah. I've never seen it at an amusement park, but at a mall for sure. Carl comes in, starts dancing with him. And I said, this is like us doing 90s dances to what these bitches want from a nigga. This is an insane thing to do. It seems quaint because it's the 60s or whatever. But Carl is loving it, but then he hurts himself. He throws back up twisting. Yep. The chubby checker. Emphasis on chubby. Batley checker. Then he's on a fake surfboard. Carl smashes an ice cream cone in his face on a train. They go down waterslides. Now they're playing mini golf and the great America montage. His hat is on with the water slide. Ted dancing is smoking on the water slide. I don't know if you caught that. I did. Yes. Macaulay wants to make the mini golf interesting and bet. Coke head. Grislyny is fed up. But Macaulay says if they beat him, he'll tell him where the coins are. What if Macaulay wins and Saul flips the fuck out? Do you have to take you to Paris tonight? Not Paris. Just Baskin Robbins product placement. What do you think Carl thinks about Baskin Robbins? I mean, he was all in on Baskin Robbins. Carl likes that place. There's no way an 11 year old is beating me at Putt Putt. I'm demolishing an 11 year old at Putt Putt. What if it's an 11 year old Tiger Woods? He doesn't know what Putt Putt is. He's playing out in real quarter. But these are con men. I mean, these guys aren't playing Putt Putt. They've never played Putt Putt. They've never done it. Mini golf montage. Professor Longhair ball the wall. Now Carl's good, right? He understands the rules and everything and how to do it. He does a full golf swing and breaks a window. That's the only time it happens though, right? Then he ricochets off the wall and knocks the dude out and he falls into the pond and died. Never to be seen again. Because he's knocked out and he's underwater. He drowned. There's a pirate ship course and Macaulay explains the concept of a treasure map. Now I wonder if that will have any significance to anything. Timmy's up three strokes. Dancy makes a shot and he wins. How? That's not the line. The line is he's three strokes up on us and we're running out of holes. Dancy's about to, but Bobby Grizzellini thinks it'll help if he lies down on the ground, puts his face right near the hole. He's also buffing the turf. Yes. He's sweeping like curling a curler. Macaulay is laying on the pressure. You win all that money. You can't psych him out. He's the man off his nuts. Streamly dramatic shot. Ted rims out the shot. Macaulay is smiling. Bobby is slamming the floor with his hand. Okay. Grizzellini is losing his mind. Not fair. Not fair. Some people take this way too seriously. Random ball dad in the background. Golden dub sir. The winner of ass on his ass on, but I like that line. What? Yeah. That's what I'm dealing with here. Oh boy. That's 90s comedy. They storm out. Coke head is tired of being jerked around by this little kid. Carl mentions the treasure map that Timmy talked about. Bobby doesn't want to tell Dancy and says, let's check it out first. Now they're all in the car. Bobby, so ass on pretends to be tired. It's coked out. It gets hard and for that to be done. Okay. He crashed and down. So this is when I got really confused because he's like, we're tired. Drop us off back at your place. Yeah. What? Well, Bobby doesn't have a home. They're on house. I know, but the first night they're not there. They clearly go somewhere and Carl, Carl lives at a men's warehouse. I like this. The men's warehouse actually started from his closet. That's right. His personal collection. Macaulay says, don't you guys want any ice cream and Carl's big dumb fat ass says, I do. I do. We're doing a thing man. Bobby says, you two go ahead. Golf game took it out of them. Dancy lets them out of the car in the corner. Bobby pretends to be happy with them. Ass on. Dancing stops. Ask them what they've got going on. I'm just going to go watch some TV. They drive off. Now they're tossing the apartment all over again. They're arguing and Carl finds a childlike map of the city in the blinds. The roll of blinds. In some kind of code. Carl thinks Macaulay can outsmart him because he's in the 95th percentile. He's a stupid little kid. You think you got to smart me? It's more about Bobby being in the 5th percentile. He's in the 95th percentile of cocaine consumption. 99. He broke the scale. Cut to the detective stalking Dancy and Timmy. Why do they keep taking that little boy everywhere they go? Oh, maybe he's the brains of the outfit. She looks at him, look at this photograph like, you dumb fuck. I can't believe I fucked you once. That was the look. Once? Yeah. I don't know about that. It's about to get so much worse between them. Ted wants to get the coins tonight. Not yet. That's not their deal. What kind of a deal? Probably wants to give the coins back. Things Ted will get caught. What are you talking about? We always get caught, dad. You know how to get thief? I mean, come on, get real. Hey, don't worry about me getting caught. I got this whole thing planned. At least I didn't till you showed up. I'm tired of lying to my friends. Hey, Tim, where's your dad? How come he never comes to see you? Oh, he's in the CIA. He's on some secret mission somewhere. I couldn't tell him where you really were. It's embarrassing. Oh, I embarrass you, do I? Well, how about when I own my own bakery? You know, is that going to embarrass you? I'll always know how you got it. Wherever gets those coins is going to get caught. And don't want it to be you. Hey, we got a deal. I give you what you want, then you give me what I want. Are we clear on this? Sure. You're not a good thief. I mean, calling it like he sees it. Yelt to ass at that point. You got to whoop that kid's ass, man. As the surveillance swaps shifts, the Lady Cop wants two cars in case they split up again and Alex doesn't trust her. So he unloads some wild 20 CB misogyny here. Frankly, you stand out like a nut in a singles bar. And I look, Teresa, don't take this personally, but when you're working surveillance, you've got to try to fit in. I mean, you have to dress like other attractive women. You're right. Not like a meter maid for Christ's sake. Give me those shoes. I like these shoes. Yeah. Well, some of my high school football coach. He wore the same ones. That's slutty. Oh, that's what he tells us. Maybe if you showed some ankle, you'd be able to close this case. I love her dressing attractive is like, La dee da. Next morning, Ted's looking for his toothbrush. Macaulay threw it out. Mullet is out and it's glorious. And also he must have severe gingivitis because the new brush hurts. He likes it matted and soft. He's never floss. This is where the hair looks like half a wig glued to the back of his regular hair. They're arguing as they walk through Chinatown and pass juju with the basketball. Ted sees a shitty cake, crummy detail work on the frosting and says, I wouldn't give that cake to Hitler. People who ruin baked goods should be arrested. Golden dumpster. He wonders if Macaulay is any good at basketball. I know a few things, you know, exposition is that he was second team all conference in high school. This is when we see the lady cop is wearing heels and a skirt. Macaulay says my friend used to play one handed while holding a cheeseburger. So yeah, I learned a lot. I think I know how to play this game. I was disappointed because I was like, is the Richie Rich jump shot going to come through in this movie? But it didn't. We only got one shot, but one take knocked it down cold. We saw the whole arc. No cut to the basket. Ain't no crossover. He made it, but the form wasn't nearly as good as the pull up. This is Macaulay, not Mackie. Two tootsies come running onto the court and Ted goes, whoa. He gets distracted. He's so horny because he literally grabs the ball, walks right up and yells at them. Hey ladies, want to play two on two? Are you down for some two on two action? Oh, great calorie burner. He used to wait two out of bounds. And then he blames Macaulay a little adroit pattern on your part. We could have landed those two. What was I supposed to say? You're not a doctor. Girls can't believe you're my kid. How to pick up girls. First get them talking here. Uh, pretend I'm some fabulous baby you want to hit on. Come on. Ted. Come on, stranger. Throw me a lion. Come on. Throw me a lion. I'm walking out of your life, Hanson. Uh, nice basketball. Oh, you think so? Yeah, where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? That's good. Good. Yeah. Disarm them with a compliment and then follow with a question. Now you got the ladies' attention. Here you go. So, uh, I noticed you got Michael Jordan's autograph ball. Oh, yeah. Michael's my favorite player. His fake combo back and forth is a Lewis Pinnock on top of his Lewis Pinnock. This is his exhibit situation. Hey, no kidding. Me too. Say, how about you and I go out for a cup of coffee or something? Oh, I thought you never asked. It's that easy. It is? Yeah. Give it a shot. Hanson teaches Macaulay the manly art of wenching. He sure does. Or is he doing mystery lion because of the voice? A little bit of both. Yeah. I'd say it's 70% wenching, 30% mystery lion. He's prancing around like a tootsie, which the lady cop finds really delightful. Meanwhile, Bobby and Carl are trying to use the map picture of a shoe on the map. So this is the closest shoe store, 75 giant steps west. They're trying to figure out what big giant steps would be to a kid. Real complicated math. Like if somebody plopped a headband down, but you didn't know how much it cost. Then he's going to figure it out by asking some random woman walking a dog named noodle and her kid. Hey lady, let me borrow your kid for a second. Oh, lay off the cools of the cocaine. Bobby grease. A leader. How much cocaine Bobby? The dog is named Thor. And she says Thor kill the spike color dog lunges and about five seconds too late. Carl says, whoa, hit bull. I don't even know what's going on. I don't think that's a stupid joke. I could only assume he was trying to finish a chili dog at the time. So he had to take a minute. We're not into the chili dog section of the movie yet. Carl is dressed like Chug Knight, by the way. He is. My God, this suit. It's incredible that you say we're not in the chili dog section of the movie yet. Is not some kind of exaggeration or joke. No. There is a chili dog section of the movie. It's on its way back to Ted. He makes a call from a payphone to Dobbs and leaves a message to say, Hey, Dobbs, call me back. That's it. It's just you and Dobbs doing this, not you, Dobbs in the NSA. What are you doing? You don't need to loop us in here. Meanwhile, McCauley loses his dribble. I tried to see if he dribbled off his foot. No, he just loses his dribble. Yeah. The ball bounces into the street and the lady cop is freaking out. She shouts, look out. Does an 11 year old go running into traffic like that? No, right? He didn't even do it. He never gets there. Yeah. He runs up to the sidewalk. She runs out in traffic, by the way, does not look both ways. No. And then she starts yelling at him. She's in a lecture room when she brings the ball back. Ted comes back. She explains he was almost hit by a bus. McCauley asks where she got her scarf. He puts his newly acquired pickup game to work and invites her to coffee. She stupidly agrees. Well, I mean, that's stupidly she's on the case. Ted is smug and pleased. One, that his son got him a date. Two, that his son learned something from him. The manly order of wenching from five minutes ago in the movie. Cut to them sitting at a diner. She gave her real name. She says she's a teacher, kindergarten. Meanwhile, Timmy is blowing bubbles into his lemonade with his nostrils through a straw for a while. Both nostrils, which was special. This bingo tough job. Must really like kids as he stares at his son blowing these bubbles. Yes. Children are special. Crawley explains. Ted makes cakes, took a class in a college college year continues. That's right. Folsom you state institution. Oh, you mean the prison probably says he didn't shoot anybody. Just stole something. Right dad. This is the same justification as Ebony, right? She's like, Oh, you didn't kill nobody. Oh, low standard. He says that was a long time ago. They're going to the museum later. And Macaulay invites her to come. She's stammer's lives. Better tooth has to go to a dentist, but it's feeling better. Callie has Ted. You like her? Maybe. And Lady cop calls her partner. What? You're supposed to tell the suspect not date him. Can't believe that he has to tell her that doesn't suspect she's a cop. She can take care of herself. He's still tracking Bobby and Carl in a street merchant. Messes up their counting by yelling out the price of a leather jacket. I can only assume Bobby is ready to buy. Bobby Grieselini is so mad and coked out that he punches him in the face and they run away. Cut the museum. Oh man. Dan's is trying to teach Timmy about Franz Klein. The young pre renovation right across from the Academy of Science, by the way, in Golden Gate Park in Atlanta. You ever want to go there? He tells her he had a cellmate who was an art forger. Told him a few things. She liked that. I don't know all the good things you know. Now he's teaching to me about Monet. Sometimes at first glance, things aren't what they seem. I guess it goes for people too. Zach, clearly your cellmate was not an art forger because that's George Sera. And he truly explains pointillism. That's a Sunday afternoon on the island of the grand shot, which is the same painting as in Ferris Bueller. Oh, I'm pretty sure it's money. It's definitely not. I'm pretty sure. The little dots are a mess up close, far away. It's in Clueless. Look at that. You should have watched that instead of heat. Sometimes at first glance, think on what they seem. Message. I guess that goes for people too. Message. I see it. Yeah. Like you take cops. I'm like, okay. So he knows she's a cop. Nope. No. He just likes talking about cops. They assume too much. Timmy goes up to her in the gift shop. Says she smells like his dead mother. What? Perfume is Laura Ashley. She wore that a lot. Mommy talk. Died of cancer three years ago. Lives with aunt and ready now. Married to a real dork. Gonna move here with his dad permanently. He needs him. Hello exposition. Bobby and Carl followed all the directions. Can't find it. They see an ex graffiti on the alley wall. This. Bobby climbs into the dumpster parking scene. Carl won't do it because he's wearing a 600 up here. Card down. The guy in the $600 suit is going to climb into a dumpster. Come on. Come on. This is an excellent point. Ennegal in dumpster. You shop at Kmart. You get in the dumpster. Yeah. God is this. Bobby shows him a dead rat and says, Do you want lunch? Carl ran off to get a pretzel. And of course spilled mustard on himself. I thought it was a hot dog, but sure. No, it's pretzel stand. Whatever it is. It's so much mustard on his tie. It's a lot, man. Was it pretzels pretzel stand? No, no, no. Because it wasn't out of a basket. It was a cart. Yeah. It wasn't an unhoused gentleman with a basket that he sold. It wasn't an uncooked pretzel. What? What? The guy, the $900 PR card that soon is going to get a pretzel? Come on. The guy with the stolen basket is going to sell the pretzel? Come on. Next up, head takes Macaulay to Neiman Marcus at Union Square. Oh, is that the one right there? Oh, wow. Okay. Small talk. Said he lives with his aunt. Yeah. My sister, she's got a big house there in Reading. Good schools. He's got all his friends. He's better off there. She's meddling in his business. She knows that Macaulay wants to live with Ted. Yep. Macaulay bought Lady Cop a present. It's the perfume. Perfume is expensive. He buys it and then he invites her to dinner. He doesn't invite her. He basically tricks her. He's like, you can wear it when we go to dinner tonight. You don't have a choice. Is he pimping? Is that? Ted jokes. He'll propose next. Okay. This kid has known her for a few hours, maybe. An afternoon. Yep. Hey, I want you to smell like my dead mom. Yep. This kid needs therapy. Well, she already smelled like his dead mom. But more so. He's reinforcing it with more dead mom smell. Let's freshen that up. Yeah. What kind of food you like? Italian food. Great. I know a place. I don't know if you know this, but I'm doing an Italian accent right now. Who needs more therapy for their dead mom? Macaulay in this movie or Elijah Wood in The Good Son? Elijah Wood. I'll remind you, Elijah Wood told his aunt that you're my mom. Yeah. You're my mom reincarnated. But to be fair, she was like, I had one kid die of me. Maybe you can take his place. Wrong kid died. She was definitely with it. Then we see Timmy point out a Nike duffel bag hanging on a mannequin in plain sight. Oh, I bet the coins aren't there. Genius. These bingos are now in Washington Square Park. The bells are tolling. This is where Angie Everhart was brutally murdered by a trans-am. Oh, nice. Yeah, that's right. And Jade, some little xenophobe history for you. Saul is freaking out. Carl thinks maybe the map don't lead nowhere. What? No point. Is it? What is the point? Maybe they've been wasting their fucking time. Bobby thinks the church is a spot. What if it's not an X? What if it's a cross and Hallelujah plays? That's very 20 CB. Bobby says the church is like 7-11. He lights up a cigarette and then stomps it out on the rug immediately. Like Sean Jordan grinding his snot rockets into a hotel carpet. Bobby grabs cash from the donation box. The Carl scares him by slipping and playing the organ fatly. A big organ. Bobby's leather jacket catches on fire? Cleather. Yeah, that's why. Oh, that makes sense. All right, never mind. Also, it's soaked in sweat and grime and grease. And whatever was in that dumpster. The way he got into this donation box, he's coming around from the back. Yeah, to reach around. Oh, it's so dumb. That's how you get the goods. Now a nun sees them and what's she gonna do? You're not gonna call the cops. Bobby grabs a box from under the altar as the nun comes out with a candlestick, put that back, Carl. Excellent timing. Whoa, nun. She says this is the house of God. Yeah, what's he done for me lately? What? Oh, they run out with the box as she runs after them. Cops are waiting outside. Carl knocks into Bobby. They fall down. Box breaks. It's just sacramental wine. And Carl's $1,500 suit is fucked. Soaked in wine. Come on. Someone says church warrant and I popped. I did not hear that church warrant. Bird law. That's it's a pun on church warrant. Church warrant. Cut to Teresa getting dressed for dinner. She puts the perfume on then puts her gun and badge in the purse. Cut to dinner. He's serving up food. Hey, there's squid in there. This is when I figured it out that it was doing the accent. The Chippino's scene. I was like, what is he doing? What's going on? Lays. Is he Gino Felino all of a sudden? Lays. We've got like 25 minutes left in this movie. I know. What are you doing? But yeah, what are you doing? Hey, what are you doing? I'm like, what the fuck is happening right now? Besides Louis Pinocchio. Whoa, food fight, food fight. He has sashini squids. It's not a fish, but it's a cephalopod. No, I've been dying to tell that to somebody. Chippino, San Francisco dish, what's in it? Everything. Waiter comes over to whisper in Ted's ear. McCauley asks about the Dodgers being in town next week. Now a birthday cake and singing waiters come over. They're literally serving the Chippino. They haven't even eaten yet and they're doing the cake. What is this timing? Ted says, for all the birthdays I missed him, make a wish before you set off the fire sprinklers cut to them walking. He's explained why he became a thief. She says he's not one anymore. He says that's the same thing I told my ex-wife when we got married and he got arrested there at the conservatory of flowers at night. We're back in Golden Gate Park. Timmy is with strangers running around with sparklers. 20 CB is ex-wife never forgave him when he got arrested and went to jail. Don't write. Don't call. Just be dead. So I was and I said, message question mark. Know what that mouth do? Was she the one that died? Yeah. She says he has to decide what he wants and what's most important. And so he starts making out with her. That's definitely a cue. Worst cop ever. Oh, are you adjusting your list? No, there's no way. Yeah, there's no way. That's the massage you're talking. She's a bad cop. She's not the worst cop ever, but she is a bad cop. It's late. I have to get home. She runs away. He says, I hope I see you again. That's when her partner walks up. What are you doing here? He comes out of the shadows. She's spooked. It's part of my job. Really? They must be teaching new stuff at the academy. This guy is the best, best cop. Oh boy. I didn't think we were allowed to kiss the suspect. She says it just happened. He says she let it happen. Better of a damn good story for the lieutenant and he walks off. He snitching. She was so into it. She her eyes closed her mouth open and she put her hand on her. You're mad about the kid snitching on his dad. This partner is snitching on his partner who they used to fuck. Yeah. Not all cops are bad. Oh, guess what? It's a journey. He said not all cups. Cut to Bobby and Carl in jail. Bobby's convinced dance and set them up. He and the kid, Carl asked what they feed in there. Inmate says it was chili dogs yesterday. We had chili dogs yesterday. No kidding. Chili dogs. I love chili dogs. We just stop thinking about food for once. And Carl is thrilled. Also, this is not the chili dog scene, ladies and gentlemen, that base alluded to earlier. This is the start of the chili dog section. Also, this is when I'm like, all right, there's cocaine and Bobby, Grizzly, and these cigarettes. This is when, oh my God, what's happening in this viewing? Hey, man, I confirmed it. Hey, man. He's in jail. He hasn't been able to smoke. And now he's going through coke withdrawals. That's what's happening here. Lady cops trying to explain to Hector. He cuts her off. Says she's going steady 20 CB. Oh, yes. That's it is a very 20. CB. Absolutely. 20 CB. Yes. Gives a convoluted explanation that makes the lieutenant's head spin. She holds up the treasure map says McCauley knows where the coins are. The kids in accessory. Don't let him out of our sight. Ready. Rodden scoundrels is having second thoughts because I didn't want the kid to be involved. Back up. Cut to dancing at home admiring his new toothbrush. Timmy's watching video of what they shot together. Dancing starts watching to the phone rings. It's Mr. Wankenmueller. My guy Rudy's probably just hung over, but Timmy sees Teresa on the tape. Kathy baits in her ass off in the background. Yes. Dear in headlights. Same note to she breaks the fourth wall. Before he does that though, as he's watching recap position of the last few days via camcorder footage, McCauley has a laugh. It says Timmy chuckling in the captions, but it sounds like this. That's chuckling. Terrifying sound. Pretty good. Mr. Wankenmueller tells that dancing. I need you to come over to work. Need the 11 year old home alone. I said it says my notes. Why am I leaving myself? Look at these directs. Detective is falling dancing. The other ones going to stay with the kid. Timmy sees the whole thing unfold. Ron Canada is overconfident. He's just a kid. I got him. McCauley figures out their cops, leaves the apartment. He's being tailed by Randolph from wedding crashers. Sneaks past the truck, hops on a cable car. Now Ron Canada has to run. Wankenmueller is asking about Ted's family emergency. If a son came to visit, tells his boss that McCauley might be moving to San Francisco. Somehow the detective, Ron Canada, got off the trolley wherever he stopped. He's printed down the hill. What is he? Bobby Grease. Celine falling down some stairs and candlestick. Action Jackson. He runs into the Bart station. He's sliding down the escalator. Detectives blocked by people. Now they're both waiting for the train. They both get on. This is a pretty sick SF giants starter jacket hat fit that he's got going on. It's a great starter jacket, but this kid is more obsessed with giants than Frank Dukes. But at least he's obsessed with the same giants from the same city. Consistent. Johnson. Yeah, I guess it's more consistent. Yeah. This is when he smirks at the kid from Brink. Yeah. Ron gets distracted by a Tootsie. McCauley did an outfit swap. He waves bye-bye to Ron Canada and that smug hulking way. Hector can't believe he lost him. Go to the apartment, pick him up. Teresa says they might not get anything from him if they pick him up, but she can get him alone away from Ray. So it's Ray now. People are obsessed with getting this kid alone. Oh, I thought you were going to say people are obsessed with accusing her of trying to sleep with the suspect. Well, she did do that. She didn't sleep with him. Kissed him. That's not the same thing. She caught feelings. Oh, he's going steady, Zach. He's wearing his Letterman's jacket. He's wearing perfume. His dead wife's truth. Well, that's not his fault. That's the kid. Thinks he might tell her everything. So go do it. Timmy goes to Neiman Marcus. Dobbs calls dancing at the bakery. He got back early, wants to make the deal tonight. Dobbs has the bakery sign. Holy fucking shit. Don't call me at work, Dobbs. And this is brilliant writing. We got to break down the script writing. You got back early. I wasn't expecting you till tomorrow. Hello, Exposition. Phone calls, Position. And then he writes something down on his hand. This is not heat. He's so incredibly obvious. All right, we're back to this is not heat. Timmy puts a duffel bag in a locker at the bus terminal, cut to Carl and Bobby leaving jail. That chili dog is coming back on Carl. So they had chili dogs two days in a row? Fuck yeah, man. You buy so much chili and so many dogs. You're having chili dogs all week. Is it chili dogs every day in jail? Absolutely. Dude, I'm getting chili dogs tonight. I kind of want a chili dog right now. Absolutely. I'm going to hate it, but I got to do it. We are in the chili dog section. Dancing gets home as Timmy for the coins, needs them right away. But the police, dad, what does the police know? Now, don't do that. We get an ultimatum. Either it's the coins or me and Ted dancing doesn't like it. He says, you want to leave that spot? I don't need you around here and slap the shit out of the suitcase. Golden dumpster. Yeah. I love that slap. You hit the key in the plant dirt because it's the last place he would look because he doesn't want to the plant. You better pack. Pack? Yeah, pack. I'm going home. Cobra formula. That dancing takes the plant, chucks it out the window. Right in the feet of the lady cop who knocks on the door and shows up at his house unannounced. Who says, hey, I met you yesterday. Can I take your child to the movies alone? What? What? What? I was just wondering if it's okay. We could go to the movies. That's the two of us. How do you know where we live, lady? Well, to be fair, this is a good gamble by her because Ted dance has gotten so much pussy around San Francisco. He's like, yeah, probably everyone knows where I live. Oh, I think the good gamble is like, hey, can I take the kid off your hands for a couple of hours? Mind if I do? Those joggers from earlier. They're coming back. Take him to the bus station. He's going home. They're pressed for time. She wants to change the plans. He drives off Bobby and Carl in a cab and they're falling behind. Oh, Lady Cop follows too. She tells the lieutenant. She thinks the coins are in this kid's suitcase. They're at the trans Bay terminal arguing about making a mistake. My bus is going to Reading. Yours is headed to Folsom message. Gives Tommy one last chance. It's up to you. This is a real ultimate. I'm off. Five is one way to ready and Teresa's cucking from the second floor. Still cucking. This is the part where I looked up how far a reading is. Oh, dude. Yeah. It's a track, man. 24 50 for a bus ticket though. 24 50 sounds like a lot back then for sure. You really are a little pain in the ass. You know that? Thanks for teaching me about Italian food and how to pick up girls. That's parenting. That's okay, dad. I don't need to hug. Dancing walks to the locker. He's having a moment of crisis. Detectives know it's in the locker, but don't make a move until it's in his hands. The bingo show up fresh out of jail and hung over. Ted goes to the locker. How do we know that Ted Dancin is struggling with this decision? He leans against his arm and he's whispering to himself about deciding what's most important. Self exposition, which is what the lady cop said to him at the conservatory of flowers. Oh, shit. How about that? But to be fair, Zach, at least it wasn't a flashback or an echo. We got to break down the script writing. He's crying on the bus. I said, what a bitch. Oh boy, I'm going to regret this. He runs down the bus. It starts to drive away. He slides in front of it like he's trying to take a charge from Zach. Yeah. You're going to get trucked, my man. Driver, why do you want a one-must-sun? Says they need to change the living arrangements, not sleeping on the couch like Marlon Wayne's anymore, and these tears are ass on. Oh my God. They cut to Macaulay at his faces. Waterworks. Cut to them off the bus. Timmy asked about getting a two-bedroom. You think I can afford that now? Maybe I could hire you out as a jiggaloo, huh? What? What is he talking about? I think he means like, I mean, technically you're the jiggaloo, Ted. No. There's no I think he means. Because he's like, no. What's a jiggaloo? Yeah, that's not such a bad idea. You know, you got all the moves down and everything. Some woman actually likes shorter guys. Tries to bargain with Macaulay, take some of the coins just to cover expenses. That's when cokehead Greaselini tells Ted to open the locker. Out of his mind. Points is gone, Adam. Shaking. Of course. Shaking like Sam Jackson in loaded weapon one. Yes, absolutely same note too. But also it's the gun. Oh, dude. From the beginning of the movie, Maze, the one thing you said he never used. Cokehead's gun. Kokov's gun. Kokov. Ted opens the locker. Saul grabs the bag. The cops instantly arrest both of them. This is not heat. He walked by Teresa. She apologizes. Phil Noir, the bag was full of pennies. From the jar. Well, there's only one thing left to do. Just break out the floppy shoes and funny noses. Because we sure as hell look like clowns. All in a day's work. All the two days work for Hector Elizondo. I think we're two days here. Yeah, it's probably the Dan Acrowed Award. Yeah. But also he delivered the hell out of that line. He did. Timmy's now being interrogated by Teresa without an attorney or an adult president. It's a million dollars in coins though. He asked, you got a boyfriend? Timmy. I thought we were friends. Just asking. Just have questions. He goes full Ethan's stress. She says no. And he says must be pretty lonely. And I say, God, her ass. What? God, her ass. Mystery lion is back. He gives mommy and poppy talk. He knows whoever stole those coins is very sorry. Is it the good son? Yes. Good son, for sure. The good son is. Oh, daddy. Gaslighting the. They'll never do it again. Enticing her. It could be in a bag maybe. Whoever stole those coins is really sorry they did it. They'll never steal again. He makes a sly illusion to the mannequin. They probably don't even know they have it and she smirks. I hope mannequins one of those suggestions cut to the mannequin. She gets it. The bag on the mannequin for the middle of the movie. My dog Carl is at a bar. You chili dog car on the water down on the pier. Watching some newscast exposition. That's a fancy ass restaurant elbow deep in chili dogs. He's housing a massive chili dog first bite. Dumps a quarter pound of chili. On to his time. An insane amount of chili comes off that chili dog. No one spills like Carl. Half a can of stag chili is on his fucking suit right now. They failed to arrest any suspects as the newscast exposition. With Carl it's never horny. It's hormel. Hector clicks it off and we won't either. Those lady cops she did okay and under the circumstances she's off probation. What she made out with the suspect. Yeah but she got the coins. Oh man. She got a million dollars. You're promoted. Does she opens the pills for him? Supplements. Don't get cocky. Because of supplements from the beginning of the movie. Character development. Timmy and Dantzen see her as they're walking out of the station. They walk up to each other like always said about cops. They assume too much. Oh. Call back. Yeah. Some things aren't always what they seem. Message. Message. Sometimes they are and you just can't prove it. What? God is ass. Macaulay back at it. You wanna come to dinner tonight? God damn this kid. Ted scoffs some other time. Maybe he has a jiggaloo. There's an official waiting period between arrest and dating. Take care of him. I will. Ted is mad that Macaulay knew about the cops and didn't tell him. At this point I was done. I said they banter walk into traffic roll credits. I said clip it or don't. Yeah. Walk into traffic. They should learn to lesson huh? You're right. Never have children. Never have children. Same no to bro. So what do you wanna do now dad? Well see now I just lost 250 grand and gained a permanent house guest. Maybe I should go drown myself. How about we go shoot moops and pick up girls? Hey yeah. Message. That's enough. Parenting. That's out of message. Is it? Play the song Money Again because we paid for it already. Yeah yeah. Yeah we paid for it. That's ours. We could use that as many times as we want. That's a good idea. We could do that. That's it. Seat belts fastened. Trace tables in an upright position. Here we go. Earth below us drifting, falling, floating, waiting, calling, calling. Plot lift off. I'm gonna say plot lift off is when the kid steals the bag from the hiding place. Because that's the point where he gets leverage. Yeah. Guys we need to talk whenever that little scene happened. Mine's right around there when when he holds out the itinerary and what kind of a deal is made. Why don't you try telling us what the fuck happened. Plot summary one minute and 44 seconds. It's going to be a mean day. You picked it. The one where adults want to get kids alone. So it's your pick. Let me get my clock up here. Your what? My cock. Oh three baby one two. Look do me a favor. I don't want to do a countdown before I do the scene. No countdown. No countdown. Can we just do it off of action? Just in your own time. Good. I'm not a rocket ship. Okay. All right. Ted Danson is a two bit crook. He's got his boys Bobby Grizzellini who may or may not be coked out of his mind and big fat dumb clumsy ass Carl. Oh Jesus. Who dresses well. I'll give him that. He's a good dresser. Anyway they see some shit. They get a tip about some some coins that some old bag used to have. They end up stealing it pretty easily to be honest with you. A man hunting sews and dirty rotten scoundrels knows it's them but because she's such a bad cop no one believes her. Not even not all cops are bad because he's poking holes in her story left and right. And that's a that's a lesson for everybody. You know what just because your end result is correct doesn't mean your process was right. And not all cops are bad. That's what he was trying to point out to her. Her process is horrible and would not stand up in court. You got all sorts of violations that are happening in there and he's looking out for her because they may or may not have banged in the past several times. But I digress. Macaulay Culkin is in the backseat of a convertible with his aunt and uncle Fluze. They're swerving. He's about to fly out the car 30. Anyways, Uncle Fluze got married. They got to go on their honeymoon. So she drops them off with Ted Danson. Ted Danson, Bobby Grisselini and Carl. They they they have the the coins but then they can't whisper. They don't know how to whisper. So Macaulay steals it and hides it and then holds them ransom. Basically make them hang out with him. As he makes it dance and hang out with them. The other two I don't know what they're doing. They get bored or they're unhoused. So anyways, they all ended up just fine. I hate not writing. I think it was better. Get in my head. I always try to push the unwritten agenda. Oh, I'm sorry. One last time. Where the fuck is Nadine? I'll go next. Zach three, two, one. The movie starts off. We're going to do a heist on an armored car. Okay. And this armored car is carrying some very important materials. And they've been planning this heist for a long time. We've got a big tow truck from Fresno. And we've got hockey masks and guys with machine guns. No. And they break into the armored car and they find the bonds that they're looking for. And then this one guy who's a little reckless, he, he kills one of the guards and then I'll be grease. Eleni, they have to cover up these tracks because now he's killed the guard. And so they have to kill the other guards and shake his out of control. And this guy's new to the crew. They don't really want them there. And that kind of causes a bunch of problems because Tom Seiswar is there and he calls this guy slick. Thank you. You're thinking of Carl on house gentlemen over here's that he called him slick and tells that to Al Pacino who's doing a bunch of coke off camera. I think that was Ted dancing. Now we've got Robert De Niro and Al Pacino and they're swirling around each other in Los Angeles and they meet at this diner and they have this great diner scene. Oh my God. So cool. I think they went to a Giants game and they're sitting there talking about actually, they're kind of the same. You know, like you can't really inform any attachments in life because 30 you're too busy focusing on either robbing shit or catching people who rob shit. So you have to be able to walk out on anything in 30 seconds or less 15 when you feel the heat around the corner. Oh, you said, and so then McCauley Culkin shows up and he steals the bonds from the armored car truck and then he gets his dad back and his dad is Ted dancing and they're great. He must nailed it. You know what I just remembered? Heat came out after this movie. Yeah, a year after. Oh, ripoff. A lot of details over that man like the unhoused gentleman blowing the case wide open. That's right. Over hearing some names, armored car. Yeah. Zach, you're up. Three, two, one. Ted Danson is the samurai cop and he is going to rob an armored car with the most coked out grease ball you've ever seen and the fattest chili dog king of San Francisco, AKA the silk diamond Carl. And so they hatched this plan to rob this armored car to get these coins that were taken by the state by the coin processing plant of, I don't know, I think they'd grade basketball cards as well to see if they're like nines or tens for the PSA stuff or whatever the fuck it is. I don't know some shit. I don't know. And so right before they're going to steal this stuff, oh my God, McCauley Culkin gets dropped off by his aunt who they live in Reading and they drove all the way down. She went to get married three hours ago. They're going to abandon a child that they take care of and go on a honeymoon, which is Reading ass behavior. Let me tell you, but they go and they, they steal the coins and they, and it works out and then they hide the coins and then fucking home alone comes up there and takes the coins and he creates a map to stop the sticky bandits or the wet bandits from taking the coins back. And then Bobby Grease and Leni is just smoking so much cocaine throughout this movie that he's like, I want to go fucking Steve Buscemi or I want to go Michael Madsen on this. Okay. And then the kids like, Hey, I'll show you the coins, but you got to like be a dad for a week. Take me to a Giants game. Take me to all these places in one day. He does. He goes through all the things and then they meet a cucking detective who's like, I don't know. Maybe I want to make an arrest. Maybe we want to bang this dude's ponytail. I don't know what I want to do. And the whole time she's trying to figure out, do I love this guy and this guy's trying to affect, do I love my kid and they're trying to figure out how do we get Bobby Grease, Leni, get the fuck into rehab and then it all just worked out just fine. They got even with dad. You know, being a dad for one week for 250 grand seems like a pretty good deal. That's not a bad deal. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't do it, but yeah. Yeah. Still really Zach, 250 grand on the table right now. Nah, man. Tax for you. Yeah, I can't really spend that one week. Oh, I guess he didn't say forever. He said for one week and then I'll go back to reading. No, one week. That's it. You got to be a dad this week and Ted dance. Like, I don't know, man. I got to want to take my motorcycle up the five and leave you here at this fucking foster home for real. I had plans this week. Who cares if you lose the game, you got this off your chest. I mean, it's just one night of bar trivia. One night of bar trivia is Sankrasank. TRIVIA is Sankrasank. Sol Rubenek was really hitting the nose with a bat during the scene where he falls down the stairs at the stadium. Whoa. Since Rubenek was caught off guard, his reaction gave the scene a more realistic look. The director, not thinking twice, decided to leave it in the final cut. Not thinking twice is some weird editorializing there. Also a horseman. The scene in which Bobby Dexa seller for interrupting his concentration while searching for coins with Carl was improvised and accidental. Sol Rubenek was furious at the bystander for interrupting their scene. So Rubenek slugged him. Then realizing what he had done, he took off with Carl. Director Howard Deutsch thought the shot was hilarious and decided to keep it in the film. You got to pay that man. Wait a second. How many pieces of trivia Sol Rubenek? I wish there was more. This is some citrus community shit right here. The editorializing on both of those. We like the director liked it. No shit. We all saw it. He didn't think twice. The cake shop Ted's character works in is the same location as the meat shop seen in So I Married in Axe Murderer. Oh, I love that movie. A butcher shop. I'm gonna watch that later. Tom Hanks, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Bill Murray, Kevin Costner, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Keaton, Bruce Willis, Patrick Swayze, Kurt Russell, Tim Allen, Chuck Norris and Robin Williams were considered to play Ray Gleason. So this basically solidifies that Ted Danson was just the cheapest choice. Absolutely. For a movie or the most desperate. Well, I mean, I don't know. Like a movie that Danson was good in that was a hit that didn't involve Steve Gutenberg doesn't exist. Yeah. This film is similar to fatherhood, a 1993 film starring Patrick Swayze as a crook slash deadbeat father who has two kids whose mother passed away due to cancer. Is this a Dante's Peak volcano situation? No, that's with heat the year after but it's close. But this isn't heat. Yeah. Timmy is seen exiting a fictional subway created for the movie in San Francisco's Union Square. There was no subway station there when the movie was filmed. However, a new subway station opened in the same location in 2022. Is that new? Holy shit. Ray's apartment in the movie is located at the corner of Jackson and Mason Street in Chinatown. Oh, the theme park featured in the movie was Paramounts, Great America located in Santa Clara, California. The name of the roller coaster is Speed Demon, which was referring to Macaulay Culkin's close friend Michael Jackson's hit song. No defense from a mean there. MGM bought the film as a spec script in a bidding war with Hollywood Pictures, Columbia TriStar and Paramount for $500,000 bidding war. Damn script bidding wars. I don't think they really do that anymore. Well, every once in a while you'll see something that was an entourage a couple of times. That's it. Macaulay Culkin's character was supposed to have a short haircut in this movie, but Culkin, who had let his hair grow at the time, liked his looks and did not want to cut it. His father, Kit Culkin, demanded his son be allowed to keep his hair the way it was. This motherfucker. Pointing out that his character was a working class boy. What? And not a clean cut prep school one. He got to keep his long hair. It is a ready-nosed haircut. Look at that. CT5 dad. Speaking of cocaine heaters, Kit Culkin. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. CT5 worst parent for me. Zach, what was the budget for this movie again? It said 30. 30. How much do you think Macaulay Culkin was paid for this part? I'm saying five. Four? Yeah, four, five. Eight million dollars. Damn. CT5 crash war. I'd like you all to do an experiment on a plant, something that may benefit mankind. And if you would devise something that ground breaking, I guarantee you a A in this course. Hold on, man. You firing me? You can't do that, Lionel. Look, man, if you don't want me to have a foreman job, I understand, but I need my fucking job, man. Lewis Pinoc Action Award. Dancing, Italian. Had dancing, Italian. Yeah. This is what the Lewis Pinoc Award was. Is it Italian? Well, sometimes. In and out. Yeah. It gets us sometimes Italian. We've got to be clear on that. Ted Dicecler. He wasn't in the list of actors they offered the movie. It was a little too late in the 90s for you, Ted Dicecler. Please show me the horseman eye, guys. Yeah, we got soul. Five horsemen, 20 CB, Batley. And I wrote, sorry, Carl, poppy talk, message, bad police work, bad hair. This is not heat. This is heat and phone calls position. Mommy talk, cucking. This is not heat is definitely the horseman. Also wardrobe deserves a shout. Right. Everybody's going crazy. I would have never thought bad hair was getting beat. And this is a perfect one. This is not heat. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Ass on, ass off. Teddy Rex, mussy teddy Rex. Teddy Rex, mussy teddy Rex. Ass on, fuck it, ass off. Ass on, fuck it, ass off. Michael B and Memorial ass on award. The Little League coach, Jason Pilgrini's dad, Saul Rubenek, Bat Day Fall. Oh, no way. Ted dancing when he's throwing a tantrum and taking off his shirt and throwing it. You don't need to qualify the Ted dancing part. It's just Ted dancing. Oh, yeah. No. And Macaulay Culkin's fake tears. Culkin's not very good in this movie. I think he's up for it too. Yeah, he's up for a bald guy at the putt putt. Honey, some people take things too seriously. Maze like that, man? I did. Yeah. Michael Dumpster is coming out. I'll give it a Culkin, man. The stupid looks. This is definitely his worst role by far. Racy Rich, I thought he was okay. He's incredible. The good son. Good son. He was amazing. Yeah, I'm going to give it a Culkin. Yeah. All right. Wow. What a fall from grace. I thought it'd be dancing, but no, I think it's Culkin. Eight million dollars. That's crazy. Good for him. Good for Kit. Got a good agent, dad. Check this out. $1,100 is exactly what I charge for acting classes. No, it isn't. Yeah. Well, what are the Chits? Universe, you've done it again. Carl Weathers Memorial Ass Off Award. Mr. Flusie. Wayne Uncle Flusie. Yeah. That's Dan Florick. Also Hector Elizondo. Yeah, he's great. Especially that one delivery of that line. Oh, what about Sam McMurray? Not all cops are bad. He just liked the misogyny. Yeah. What about Bobby Grissellini, the cokehead? I mean, he brought it. Look, he's pretty good. I believed he was on coke. Yeah, I did too. And I believed he would have killed that kid. The Unhouse Gentlemen. What about the chili? Let's go ahead and give it to Uncle Flusie. Uncle Flusie, yeah. You're good at keeping secrets? Absolutely. Because I've got a present for you. Secret present outside by the dumpster. Is it a baseball mitt? It fits you like a baseball mitt, like a glove. Yeah. I hope golden dumpster nominees, prosthetic G force mouths on the roller coaster, random ball dad at mini golf. Boy, honey, some people take this game way too seriously. Ted dance and saying I wouldn't give that cake to Hitler. Well, people who ruin big good should be arrested. Carl Hitton, Bobby Grissellini with U shop at Kmart. You get in the dumpster. This is my $600 suit. Come on. And the final line of the movie. Well, seeing as I just lost 250 grand and gained a permanent house guest, maybe I should go drown myself. How about we go shoot hoops and pick up girls? I throw in, you remember that high school experiment with the rats in the maze? You were probably sick that day. What was it like in prison? You ever try escaping escaping? No, they kind of find on that. They had signs posted and everything. Unhouse gentlemen taking a swig of his beer or mystery alcohol, screwing the cap on, looking at it, then unscrewing it and taking another swig. Fish on a guy's jacket thinks he's an expert. You want to leave? That's fine. I don't need you around here and slapping the shit out of the suitcase. But my pick guys easily is the photo of Nadine. Holy shit. I thought you were going to say one of the good cops telling the lady cop, hike up that skirt. If I had to pick one of his lines, it would be the one reason I don't remember teaching that in the academy or whatever. But no, it's Nadine. Holy shit. That photo. Mine's going to be not Nadine. The ponytail. Okay. That dance is ponytail. That dance is ponytail. Insane. Consistent with samurai cop. Yeah. I'm going to go with you shop at Kmart. You get in the dumpster says Carl in the $600 suit. Come on. Guys, I got to find Nadine. That's why you want to wrap this up. Well, I mean, you picked it motherfucker. Motherfucker. I like that. Oberfile. Look, xenophobe and the xenophobe rating at the end is a spectrum. Even though we present it as a one or no, either this or that binary, the reality is it's non-binary. There's all different shades in between. And so I can give something a rating and it doesn't mean it is the best movie I've ever seen or the worst movie I've ever seen. It just means it leans this side of the median. For me, this is a file. I had fun. I laughed. Bobby Grizzellini made me laugh. Carl made me laugh. Ted Danson had his ass on moments, but he also had his ass off moments. I kind of enjoyed it. And even though McCauley was annoying, it wasn't that annoying. It was just below our expectations of what he should be. So yeah, it's a file for me. Why are you guys looking at me like that? This is a foe. But what the fuck are you talking about? You didn't like this. We had fun. This was terrible. You didn't have fun doing this. No. Well, I had fun doing the episode because we're funny. I had fun making jokes about cocaine, cigarettes, and chili dogs for two hours. Only thing I got out of this movie is that I want to watch heat and I want a chili dog. That's the only positive I took from this movie. This is not heat. This is not heat. This is a terrible movie. We didn't get Nadine knocking down a door. Would Nadine have filed it for you? Absolutely. Him opening the door at the end and Nadine's there. I'm in. Oh my god. I mean, this was terrible. What are you doing? This is terrible. What are you doing? There's a point where I was just pissed off that you didn't pick a very Brady sequel. This is way better than that. This is one of the worst movies we've done. No, it's not. Just stop here. Why do you have to be so extreme with everything? You can say, all right, like it wasn't for me. You're gonna say it's one of the worst movies? I was miserable watching this movie. No, you weren't. Watching it? Yes, I was. You were giggling. I didn't giggle once. Maze. Maze, did you giggle? Don't leave me on an island here, man. Fulber giggle. You liked the guy at the putt-putt. I did like the guy at the putt-putt. There you go. Okay. My god, I swear, god, if you file it over this. The writing of this movie is so fucking insane. We got to break down the script writing. That, Carl? Just Carl. It's the easiest heist since the honest thief montage. The Lady Cop solves it in five seconds, and then we spend an hour and a half and then spends the whole rest of the movie trying to lose the case. Contaminates the case. Yeah. Going to every venue in Golden Gate Park. Let's go to the park again. Let's go to the conservatory. Let's go to the Academy of Sciences. Is that the only place they got a fucking permit? It's a great tourism ad for San Francisco. It was awesome. We had a cable car in there. How did they get from the stick to the fucking Golden Gate Park in one day? They took the same tunnel that our guy Gilranard took to get all over town. If in the background, we actually saw Gilranard leaving the stadium, I would have filed it like that episode of curb with a guy who got acquitted of murder. Yes. If Bobby Greece lady falls down and in the background on the field, we see John Croc stabbed to death. I would have filed it. They did my man Carl dirty and dirty man. He gave it is all he gave 150% like he was permitted. He's a good sport. You get a strong suit game. I'm still trying to get the backstory. On what's up with Carl and Bobby Greece? Alini, but I was making the connection because Macaulay Culkin's in it and because Peewee's always on my mind of Carl and Peewee all movie long only to then when we're going through the cast again be like, oh shit, it's the same fucking writers. And that is the biggest crime of all more than the coin heist more than the bad parenting. These fucking hacks are getting away with the laziest fat jokes. That's right. And 1994 was their coronation. And for that reason, and so it's a phobe. Wow. What? You built me up to shut me down. Make sure you send us your folder file. Golden dubs or ass on ass five horsemen. Lewis pin up. Go cry to your chili dog. I mean, plot lift off and whether or not you got a chili dog after this episode at talk hoops at Darth Amin at corn puzzle at Cinephobe pod at count the dings are driving the discord by being a patreon member, patreon.com. Next time we make love, you introduce me to Jay. That's the coolest phobe ever because I thought, oh shit, I got maize. You thought he was building to a file. Yes, we had so much fun with Richie Rich and Pee Wee brought the fun. This is not heat. This is not heat. I mean, it was a pho before I watched heat and then I watched heat. Yeah, that's tough. Again, he came out after that's good point. Michael Mann wrote the script to heat in like 1973. My three suggestions from Pluto were all of me, which does not qualify. Same note to 18 again. Yep, that qualifies. I got that one and the odd couple to they made an odd couple to. Yeah, and it's the same director. It's like 96. Yeah, it's Howard Deutsch. I got 18 again. My boss's daughter and agent Cody Banks. Okay. Oh, does agent Cody Banks qualify at absolutely qualifies. So what's it going to be, Zach? It's not going to be agent Cody Banks. I can tell you that. No interest in watching that odd couple to or 18 again, which is it? I'm a little worried about 18 again. That's just bringing us so far back and I'm worried about this algorithm. So I'm going odd couple to. Okay. Because at least we're still in the 90s. Howard Deutsch, back to back movies for him. We're getting younger with Jack Lemon and Walter Matthew. With Woop, you can focus on living better for longer. Understand your sleep, optimize your training and build habits that support your well being. Woop gives you personalized insights into your sleep, your recovery, your strain, and the patterns that may influence how you feel. With more clarity and consistency, you can create routines that support you throughout the year. Add more life to every moment. Discover Woop at Woop.com.