The 5 Steps to Reprogram Your Mind and Break Every Ceiling | Lewis Howes

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It's changing and shows how we feel about it. The podcast that'll guide you through getting ahead, growing your interest and still having a little life outside of it is reworking. Join me, Tim Campbell, my guests, Alistair Campbell, journalists and a White House entrepreneur, Mike Souter, comedian Russell Cain and many, many more. Listen to reworking now on the Reo app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcast. What if the reason that you're not where you want to be right now has nothing to do with how much effort you're actually putting in? What if it's not about the grind? What if it's not about working harder? What if it's the way you've been conditioned to think all along? You see, most people are running mental patterns that they didn't choose. Are the thoughts you're thinking right now, are the ones you're choosing or the ones that have been a part of your operating system for a long time? For most people, they're an old operating system and they're wondering why their life keeps looking the same. And I know this because I did this for most of my life. I had the right habits, I had the discipline, I had the drive. I was willing to outwork anyone. I was willing to do whatever it took, but my results kept hitting a ceiling. And I also didn't feel good when I was hitting certain results. I was winning on the outside, but I was struggling on the inside. I kept feeling like I'm still not enough. I'm still not feeling what I want to feel when I'm accomplishing certain things. And I was interviewing the best in the world sitting right across me, the billionaires, the elite athletes, the world champions, the healers, the meditators, everyone. People operating at the highest level of human potential. And I finally realized that they all had one thing in common. They trained their mind differently. They trained their mind differently. And once I started to do that, everything in my life changed. My relationships, my business, my peace of mind, the harmony that I felt for the first time. So if you want to break out of old cycles, cycles that have been maybe getting you here, but not getting you where you want to be. If you want to break free of those old cycles that have been holding you back, if you're tired of hitting the glass ceiling, and if you're ready to start operating at a level most people only dream of, but they never actually reach, then I'm going to walk you through the five key steps. And these keys are the ones that have helped me reprogram my mind. They completely changed the way I show up in my life. I want you to take notes during this process, because today we're going to start rewriting your story. And the step one of this process is to become aware of your default programming. So how do you even know if your mind is holding you back? Well, for years I thought my anger and the triggers that just brought this frustration out of me was just who I was. It's just, ah, this is me. Don't try to fix me. Don't change me. Just accept me. I just get angry sometimes. And I thought I needed to prove myself to people. And I thought that my need to prove people wrong was my greatest strength. I mean, in fact, that energy, that drive, is what got me certain results. It's what allowed me to work so hard, because I was driven by this energy, this fuel that would just be, I was willing to do whatever it take. I would do as much time, as much hours, as much effort, as much work, sacrifice to accomplish the goal. But I didn't realize it was actually a defense mechanism. Now, hold the phone here. Does this resonate with you? That one, one time in your life, you worked so hard to try to prove people wrong. This energy had drove you. And maybe you got to certain results, but you didn't feel what you truly wanted to feel. Maybe that's a defense mechanism for you as well, because I was operating out of a wound, not out of a positive and empowering vision. Now, this didn't mean I didn't have a good intention to accomplish good things, to help people, to serve. It doesn't mean I wasn't also bringing positive energy into the world. But there was something inside of me that was trying to prove people wrong, that was trying to fix a wound that I had, rather than coming from a more holistic approach to life, a more harmonious approach from an alignment, from a vision that inspired me, not from a wound that I was frustrated or hurt by. And again, most people think that their thoughts are actually facts, but they're not. They're just patterns. They are copied and pasted from your past. And as weird as that might sound, if you really took a moment to think about it, a lot of our thinking comes from our past. And they're just repeated over and over again, your beliefs about money, your confidence or your lack of confidence, what you believe you deserve in relationships or in life. These thoughts are programmed into you by your environment, by your childhood, by the pain of your past experiences, by your peers, by all the things that you experienced and started to imprint and believe. And here's the problem. If you don't question the program, if you don't question your programming, you will repeat it. And what you've done for the last five, 10, 20, 30 years, it will continue into your future. It will be your future if you do not wake up right now. This was my wake up call on paper. I was doing well. Again, I was accomplishing the results. I could set goals. I could be disciplined and create the things I wanted. I had the success. I had audience. I had a platform. I was a New York time bestselling author, but internally, I still felt like that kid on the couch, that kid in the couch who was broke, who didn't feel like he was enough, that felt stupid. That was in the bottom of my class. I was still running on these patterns like I had to constantly chase the next thing to feel validated. And I realized that that voice wasn't even my voice. It was just a script that I'd learned long ago from the past. It was just a repeated story, a script. It doesn't mean it was the truth about me. And I don't know if you've experienced that where you've just had a script or a story. It's like a movie running in your mind over and over again from your past. And it doesn't mean it's who you are. It's just been what you've been sold. And awareness is where reprogramming begins. And this is what I want you to have, because you can't fix what you cannot see. You can't change what you're not aware of. So the end of step one is to become aware of your default programming. Now, what does this mean to become aware of? It really means throughout your day. Can you start reflecting on what your default programming is? Can you just write down, here's the things I thought about today, here's the things that I said out loud. Can you just take inventory on these things? If you can, then you'll start to become aware of your default programming. Because otherwise, you're not even thinking about it. You're just going about your life saying, this is who I am, but it's not. So I want you to be aware of your default programming. And aware of when something goes right in your life, how do you think? Do you receive it? Are you grateful and excited about it? Do you push it away? Do you shy away from acknowledgement and acceptance and awards and praise? Do you step into it with pride or humility? Just become aware of these things. When you get rejected, when someone says no to you, how do you take it? Do you take it personally? Do you take it as your identity as I am a failure? Or do you take it as just a lesson? Just feedback. Okay, they didn't want to buy for me. They didn't want to go on a date with me. They didn't want to be my friend. Okay, does that mean something's wrong with me? Or maybe we just weren't the right timing, right fit? Whatever it is, take inventory on how you think when life happens. So that is the end of step one. Again, become aware of your default programming. Step two, interrupt the pattern. You need to be an interruption on the old programming that has been living with you for years. And a lot of people ask me, once you see the pattern, how do you actually change it? Well, that's my answer. I used to get triggered in conversations. I used to get triggered at a lot of stuff, actually. If someone cut me off on the highway, I would get triggered. I would try to speed up and go and cut them back off. I was taking everything personally in my 20s, in my teens. It was just like, everything felt like a competition. And everything felt like someone was out to get me or something like that. I don't know why that was. Well, I actually do know, but it was based on the wounds that I had not healed. So I used to get triggered in conversations and life, just walking around. Now, I was also a positive person. I was also extremely positive. I just thought everyone else was positive like me and had good intentions like me. So when I, when it felt like someone was doing something against me, I was like, that's so weird. I thought the whole world was thinking positively, but they weren't. And my heart would race. My defenses would go up. I would get like blustered. I would start to sweat. I would just be like, and it felt like an attack. It felt like someone was out to get me. And I had to learn how to catch myself in those microseconds. So I had to learn how to start reprogramming. I had to learn how to interrupt the pattern, because if I didn't learn how to interrupt it, I would keep repeat repeating this pattern. And I had to ask, is this the man that I want to be? Or is this just the old program that's running in my life right now? How do I want to be when I show up in my life? And when you wake up in the morning and you set an intention throughout the day, and you say, I have a vision for my life today, and here's all the things that I'm excited about. I'm excited about this opportunity and having this meeting and doing this activity and doing this workout and seeing my family and being with my kids. I'm excited for all these things. But I also like to have a vision of when and if something doesn't go my way. If someone does something to upset me, if I don't get the response I was looking for, if someone yells at me on the streets, whatever it is, how do I want to show up as well? When things don't go my way, what's the new program that I want to have running in my life? Now, this is not to say that, okay, if someone's out there and it punches you in the face, you just smile and you do nothing and you let them keep punching you. You have to learn to discernment and boundaries and defending yourself, all these different things. But it's more the psychological and emotional triggers when something happens that you feel under attack emotionally, not a physical threat. How do you want to react and respond? How do you want to be? What type of human do you want to be? And again, I'm never going to be perfect. I haven't been perfect. This is not about you being a perfect human being and never making a mistake. This is about you just saying, I have a vision I have intention for my life. I'm trying to be the best version of myself that I can be that feels harmonious, that feels abundant, that receives gracefully, that gives gracefully. So how are we going to shift this whole program? The lesson is you have to interrupt it in real time. You have to catch it when you see it. And this is why I went in the mornings as a habit, in the morning, the night before, whatever it might be, you have to be thinking about the next day. You have to be thinking about, okay, I have an important meeting coming up. How do I want to respond? Okay, I'm going to go talk to whatever. I have to have an uncomfortable conversation in my relationship. How do I respond if I feel like I'm not getting what I want? What is the type of human I want to be? We have to be mindful. We have to be thinking and intentional about these things before you go into moments, events, days. And that's why in the beginning of the day, I like to have a vision for what I want to create that day. I have the best in mind. And I'm also open to even more great things coming to me that I couldn't even imagine. I put that intention into the world. Thank you, God, for all the blessings coming in my life and all the incredible things you're putting in my way that I can't even see clearly. The things that are just going to blow my mind. Thank you for bringing those to me today. And then I try to think about if something doesn't go the way I want how can I show up? How would a graceful person show up? How would the best version of me show up? How would a person who continues to heal and develop show up? How is a person who wants to serve people show up? You have to interrupt it in real time and remember what you thought of that morning. Remember what you thought of with the intention going into this meeting or this uncomfortable conversation so that an hour before you said to yourself, this is the vision that I have for this meeting or this day or this event. And if it doesn't all work out the way I want to, this is how I'm going to do my best to show up even if I'm frustrated because your brain runs on automation. It wants to be efficient, not happy. And it wants to be familiar. And so the familiar thinking that you've had most of your life is based on a script that does not serve you. It's going to fall into the familiar. So you've got to rewrite the script. You've got to interrupt this. You've got to be a stand, a commitment to shifting because the same thought creates the same feeling, creates the same action and the same results. And you ask yourself, why am I not getting the results I want in my life? Well, because you're living in a closed loop. And if you don't break that loop, nothing will change in your life. So the next time you hear that voice say that I'm not ready. I'm not good enough. What if I fail and everyone laughs at me? Don't just accept it as truth. You have to challenge this voice. You have to interrupt it. You have to be the greatest version of yourself thinking within the version of you that is doubting yourself. And that might sound a little weird. How am I the greatest version of myself while I'm challenging the version of me that is doubting myself? There is a mind inside of you. And when you think intentionally about what you want to create for the day, you can think I am going to respond in a certain way and hopefully remember that and catch yourself and challenge it. And it's going to be messy in the beginning. It's not going to be perfect. It's not like you're going to be this perfect human being walking around catching yourself every moment. Maybe you catch yourself hours after the moment and you say, oh, I responded in a way that I did not want to respond. Okay, instead of beating myself up, I caught myself now. I'm not going for days or weeks like I usually go. So this is a victory. Now let me try to catch myself within an hour, within 30 minutes, within five minutes or one. You literally stop and say, oh, that's an interesting thought, but it's not mine. And it no longer serves me. And I'm going to replace you and reframe you, not in some fake toxic positivity type of way, not in some spiritual bypassing type of way, not in some, ah, everything is okay. And I'm happy when you're really, really not, but an intentional way, a way that resonates, a way that you actually can own because you train your mind to ask better questions. And instead of doubting yourself questions, you could ask questions like, well, what if this actually does work out? Or what would the best version of me do right now? Instead of react this way, what would the best version of me, how would I respond in this situation? And this is where your true power comes from. It's not in being perfect all the time. It's not in having the right things to say, you're responding the right way all the time. And it's not in being a complete mess all the time. It's not from controlling every outcome in your life, but from controlling your response to life, from being a stand for what it's possible, from living in possibilities, from living in a space that says, I'm just gonna, I'm not going to be perfect, but I'm going to do my best. And I'm going to catch myself because I'm realizing this type of pattern in this script, in this story, it's gotten me here, but I still don't feel good. So if I want to get to the next level, if I want to truly transform, if I want to truly create leaps and bounds and possibilities in my relationship and my wealth and my health, then I need to interrupt the pattern. And I need to respond to life in a different way. So step number two is interrupt the pattern. This is a paid ad for Shopify. You know those moments when you have an idea that you're really excited about, but the second you start thinking about everything it takes to build it, it feels like a ton. 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And step number three, this goes right into it perfectly, is to create a new identity. A lot of people might ask, well, why do people keep falling back into old habits, even after they get motivated or excited or clear about a new goal or a new vision that they have for their life? I'll tell you why. For a long time, I identified as an athlete. That was my, and it was like, it was like an armor that I wore. It was like, in meshed in my skin, my blood, in my bones. It was like a part of me. I was like, I'm an athlete. I'm accomplishing these goals. I'm an all-American in the Decathlon. I'm an all-American in football. I'm a, you know, world record holder for the most receiving guys in a single game. I played in the Arena Football League. I'm trying to work my way to the NFL. It was like, this was a meshed in my being. It was who I was. It was not something that I did. It was me. It became me. It's like I lived, ate, breathed, slept, sports, and I was an athlete. And when that was taken away, boom, imagine like your body ripping apart from itself. It was like my body ripped off this identity. It was like a depressing emotional, psychological, spiritual death when that was taken away. I was lost. I felt, what do I do? Who am I? And now the self doubt really came in because it was like, oh, if I don't have this armor protecting me, leading the way, showing people what I identify as, then who am I really? Am I just all of my insecurities? Am I really my grades from school, which were horrible? Am I unable to speak in front of audiences because I'm scared? Am I just like a shameful person living with guilt inside from all the past things that happened to me and the things that I'm not proud of from my childhood? Is that who I am? Well, if anyone actually knew these things about me, that identity about me, well, no one would actually like me. No one would love me. No one accept me. I would never make any money and I would die alone. That's what it felt like when you tear out an identity and I had to learn how to build an identity that wasn't tied to a uniform. To the athlete, to the armor that I was wearing. I had to decide who I was at my core. I had to learn who I was. I had to go through a journey of self discovery because I really didn't know who I was. This is in my early to mid twenties. I didn't know who I was. I was really a cocky, arrogant, athlete, jock going from my dreams. But underneath, I was a scared little boy who was insecure, who had a lot of self-doubt, who had a lot of shame from childhood traumas, who had parents who were divorced, all these different things that were not the best versions of me. That now, okay, once you take out the shiny object of my athlete career, do I even have anything to contribute to one person in the world with what I have left? That's what it felt like. Now, it wasn't true. It's just I didn't know how to live life without this identity that had been essentially ripped from me from going through an injury and a surgery. I had to start to build a new identity, not based on accolades and success and accomplishments. Because who are you? Literally, who are you without the job title that you have right now, without the following you have, without the money you have in your bank? Who are you without the struggles you're used to talking about or maybe the victimhood that you've been through or the challenges you've been through that you've tied to that as your identity? Who are you without the success, without the losses, all these things that you lean onto? Who are you? People fail because they try to change their behavior without actually changing their identity. This is a really hard thing. You can't just behave a certain way if you still believe an identity that doesn't match that behavior. You understand what I'm saying? It's really hard and your identity always wins. You'll always fall back down to your identity and your behaviors will start to match that identity until you shift the identity inside of you. Internally, you've got to shift and it takes creating the awareness and being an interruption constantly to shift into identity. I was talking to someone the other night who said he was an alcoholic for most of his life and he repeated the pattern of his father. His father was an alcoholic when he was growing up. His mom and him would have to go four or five different times get his father out of jail for drinking and driving or other things he was doing while drunk. So he had this trauma from his father drinking alcohol and he repeated this as he became an adult. He became alcoholic and he had a moment where he was, he hasn't had a sip of alcohol in the last 15 plus years and he's completely changed his identity because he had a moment where he realized with his young kids that he was repeating the same patterns of his father. His identity was winning. Even though he wanted to shift his mindset, he wanted to shift his behaviors, his identity was leading the way and he really, he had one day, one night that was a really bad kind of blackout moment with his kids who were around and he woke up and realized what he did and he said he just felt so horrible because he finally woke up inside realizing I am repeating the pattern of my father who was an alcoholic and sure maybe I'm functional alcoholic right now where I'm able to you know make money and have a life but I'm ruining the vision of my life with my kids and my relationships with my kids and they're young and it's not okay with me anymore. And in that moment he created a new commitment in his life for his identity. He shifted his identity saying I am no longer, not just going to drink once in a while, I am no longer a drinker. He didn't say okay let me learn how to manage this, let me learn how to do it just on the weekends, let me learn how to do this just when I'm on vacation so my kids can't see it. But he realized if I don't shift my identity around this now, there's no managing this, I don't know how to manage it. I need to be a non-drinker, not someone who drinks once in a while and who just dabbles. That doesn't work, at least not for him because your identity will always win. So he became a non-drinker, he's not had a one sip in 15 years and he created a social experiment for himself. He said I need to tempt myself as much as possible. He said you know people do this in different ways. He said you know sometimes you need to eliminate the temptations from your environment so get rid of alcohol, this and this, don't have it around the house, don't go to parties, don't go to situations where you experience this identity. But he said I actually knew myself too well. I needed to have it all around me and to not be tempted with it around me. And I was like that's actually really powerful. You know I've never been tempted with alcohol, I've never been drunk in my life and I was telling him you know I could be around people drinking alcohol all around me. I have zero desire to say oh I really want to sip or try this because it's not my identity. I don't identify as someone who drinks alcohol, who wants to drink it, who likes the taste of it, none of that. And so he said I put alcohol out on my nightstand every night and because that's what I used to drew. I would have a couple sips before night and then I had to have you know this whole process. So he said I needed to train myself for at least one year to be around it all the time and not give in. I needed to create a new identity with temptation, not eliminating it all. And I think there's based on your personality you can choose how you want to shift your identity. Different things work for different people. Some people it's just a choice in their mind and it doesn't matter if it's eliminated from your environment or not, it's choosing to just say no. If you still see yourself as the one who procrastinates, the one who struggles with money, the one who constantly gets hurt and cheated on in relationships, the one who isn't disciplined then you'll always find a way to prove that true because your brain hates cognitive dissonance. It hates being wrong. You know it wants to see you right even if it's bad for you. It will sabotage success to keep your identity in the right. And I had to shift my entire language. I went from you know I'm trying to be successful, I'm trying to work hard to I'm the type of person who does hard things with ease. I'm the type of person who's willing to do whatever it takes and things come to me abundantly and freely. That changes everything. It's just a shift in the way you think and how you speak and how you feel and how you give and how you receive. So how do you start to install this new identity for yourself? Well you don't wait to feel like it. No one feels like doing something they've never done before when it's really challenging. It's not like I'm going to wait until the right time and then I'll start feeling like I'm going to wait a year from now. I'm going to wait until next New Year's and then I'll start to feel like it. No. You don't wait to believe it 100%. You start acting like it's already true with small decisions, daily proof, because identity is built through evidence. Every time you work out you're voting for the athlete in you, for the healthy person in you. Every time you move, every time you eat well, every time you don't eat poorly, you are making a vote for the person in you who says health is my identity. I am a healthy person because I'm making a choice that is a vote with that identity. Every time you save, every time you invest, you are making a vote for the wealthy version of you, for the abundant, wealthy, financially free version in you. But those votes matter. Every day is a vote and a decision that decides what your identity is or not. It's not through affirmations. It's not through just saying I am this person that can support you, but the action must be backed by that saying. Otherwise, you're saying I'm a healthy person and then you eat sugar all day. Now you're lying to yourself based on the actions or the votes you take. Therefore, your identity is fractured because you are fracturing it by your words not matching your actions. So we've got to create harmony with our thinking, with our words and our actions daily. And this does not mean you have to be some perfect human being overnight, but I am a non-drinker. I am a non-smoker. I am a non-drug user. I don't do alcohol smoking drugs. It's my identity. That's who I am. It's who I've been for 43 years of my life. This is not to brag about this version of me because I'm not perfect in lots of areas. I have lots of room for growth in other areas of different parts of my identity. But this is just one area of an identity that I don't have a question about. It's not like, well, am I a non-drinker? Well, I don't drink. So I don't feel fractured with the way I think and feel about my identity. There's alignment. There's harmony. So I feel good because it's the truth. End of step three, create a new identity that empowers and serves you. This is a paid ad for Shopify. You know those moments when you have an idea that you're really excited about. But the second you start thinking about everything it takes to build it, it feels like a ton. Starting something like your own podcast or your own business can feel pretty lonely at first. You're wearing every hat and every day comes with decisions that matter. That's why having the right support system makes such a difference. And for a lot of people, that's Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of brands worldwide, including names like Mattel and Gymshark. It gives you a simple way to get started without overcomplicating everything. You can build a clean professional online store with ready to use templates that match your style. And there are built in AI tools that help write product descriptions, headlines, and even improve your product photos. It also helps you manage things like inventory, shipping and returns. So you can stay focused on what you're creating. Turn your big business idea into reality with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your one pound per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.co.uk. That's Shopify.co.uk. Step four, this is where we start to do the real work because you need to rewire your mind through repetition and emotion. How do you make these changes actually stick? How do you really shift the identity so it becomes a part of you? How do you turn a good day into a great life? I remember sitting in my sister's house on the couch broke for a year and a half. I had to visualize my future every single day. This is back in 2007, 2008. This was really kind of like the start of social media. I had gotten on social media back in, I think 2004, I think I got on Facebook around 2004 when it opened up into my college. This is 22 years ago. When I was on Facebook, when it was just for college kids, it wasn't for the whole world. It was for like, you know, the exclusive view. This was early days of social media. It wasn't like it is now. I was reading books. I was finding mentors locally. I didn't have all the access to the content I have today. I was finding ways to visualize the future I wanted for myself every single day. I was writing down my vision and printing it off and putting it up on my bedroom wall. I was putting it in the bathroom. I was doing whatever it took over the next few years. I was figuring out how to create an environment to visualize the future I wanted every single day. I knew that I had to feel grateful. This is what I learned from people. It's like, I had to be a certain way. I had to feel a certain way first before I saw the success. I couldn't just wait for success or wait for money or wait for opportunities to come to me to then be happy. I needed to be grateful, be curious, be excited, be passionate before I saw those things. I had to step into gratitude as if it was already coming before those things came. Not just say, I'm going to be ungrateful until I have the things I want. Have you ever allowed yourself to truly feel your future? It's a beautiful thing. It is kind of weird because you need to do some emotional and psychological time travel, which again may just sound weird if you're coming to this channel for the first time and hearing me and you've never heard me before saying, we're going to do psychological and emotional time travel. You might be thinking, Louis is the weirdest person ever. But whenever I psychologically and emotionally go into the future and I experience the results, the moments, the relationships, the feelings of what I'm looking to create in the future and I experience it now, it just feels, you feel alive. You're like, man, that is incredible feeling. Now, what are the actions and the identity and the thoughts and the behavior and the beliefs that I need to do today to get me closer to that? I love this quote from Dr. Joe Dispenza, who says, your personality creates your personal reality. In order for you to create a new personal reality, you have to change your personality. Nothing changes in our life until we change. Again, your personality creates your personal reality. So you need to change your personality, who you are, who you identify as, your thoughts, your beliefs, your behaviors. Then your actions need to match those new thoughts, beliefs and behaviors to repeat that cycle. So you reinforce the identity inside of you through those behaviors, actions and thoughts daily. And it's like this repetition and emotion. It just repeats boom until you become this wave of emotion, this wave of identity, this wave of a being that is walking through life, unstoppable on what you want to create because your identity matches that creation. It gives me chills just thinking about it because I've done it for myself and there's still new things I can keep improving on to get to new levels. Repetition and emotion, those are the two keys to the subconscious because your brain doesn't change from one random breakthrough. It changes from what you repeat daily. Let me say this again, your brain does not change from one random breakthrough. It might give you a spark, it might give you a new opportunity to lean forward and do something, but you reinforce it, the change from what you repeat daily. And here's what most people miss. Emotion is what locks this in. You need to feel your heart expanding. You need to feel the joy, the abundance, the bliss, the freedom, the harmony, the peace, the creativity. You need to be able to feel these emotions expanding and rushing like a river, like a golden river flowing through your body. It just needs to feel like joy and excitement and gratitude and love. You need to generate this emotion and then lock that emotion in because that becomes your new pattern, that becomes your new identity. The moments that changed me the most weren't logical ones. They weren't like, okay, I'm thinking a certain way now. I really know this thing to be true now because I'm thinking analytically and now I'm going to live this way. That's not how I do things. They weren't just smart ideas or rational thinking or analytical. Like, yeah, that makes sense. No, these were emotional. And I'm not saying that I was hysterical, but they were emotions that I was feeling that I was able to anchor in a line in my being. And again, some of you might be watching this and thinking, Louis, this guy's kind of weird. Like, they're emotional, your identity. Like, you might be saying something's wrong with you. This is just weird or strange. But if you're here this far, if you're listening or watching this far, it's probably because you're not fully accepting what you have in your life right now. You're not fully excited about what you've created. Maybe you're okay with it, but you know you want to create a little bit more. You know you want to experience and feel a little bit differently. But what's your feeling? You know, you don't want to be stuck or blocked in the things that you've been stuck or blocked in. It's using the emotion to feel something differently. High stakes pain, high stakes breakthroughs, unshakable truth. And when we use that emotion, we can start shifting with that daily action. And that's what it's all about. It's all about that. So if you want to reprogram your mind, you need daily practices that have actual feeling behind them. And when you're not just going through the motions, like I did my workout this morning and I was excited beforehand and afterwards I was like, oh man, this is good. I'm doing something that my identity is reaffirming, that I'm a person that works out. I'm a person that's healthy. I'm a person that is doing something hard. I showed up and I did what my trainer wanted me to do. And it doesn't mean I always want to do it, but I'm willing to step into it and acknowledge it. And that's just another vote for me and my dreams towards reaching the Olympic dream of being an athlete and playing with the USA Handball National Team at the 2028 Olympics. It's a vote for living a super long, healthy life so that my daughters can grow up and have a father when they're an adult that they can connect with physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, who is healthy and thriving and able to move in all ways. It's like thinking into the future version of myself that wants to experience this life in a beautiful way. You need the daily practices that have actual feeling behind them, actual motion. Don't just do a gratitude list or just go through the motions. Feel it, experience it. Feel the warmth of gratitude in your chest. Let your heart expand. Let it rush through your body. Let your brain and your heart connect so you feel electric through these actions, not just going through the motions because I'm supposed to work hard and I'm supposed to make my bed and I'm supposed to work out and I'm supposed to eat this chicken and rice. You don't just go through the motions. That is a dull life. Living in an identity and not having the emotion tied to it is also not going to create the feeling you want. So you need to feel the warmth of gratitude in your chest. You need to feel the electricity, the aliveness, the joy, the abundance, the expansion, the freedom. You've got to feel it. Don't just visualize the goal. Feel the pride of reaching it. Speak your future into existence out loud. Not just thinking and analyzing, feeling, experience it because your brain learns fastest when your heart is involved. So step number four, rewire your mind through repetition and emotion. This is a paid ad for Shopify. 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Turn your big business idea into reality with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your one pound per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.co.uk. That's Shopify.co.uk. Step five is to protect your mental environment. Why do people make progress and then slip back? Oh my gosh. How many of you have ever made progress and then, but I'm going to go back into default mode, back to the familiar, back to the comfortable, back to where it's safe? Or how many people do you know in your life, friend, family member who is like, oh, they got motivated and then fell right back. And sometimes when people fall back, watch this, when people ball back, they almost slip even further back. It's like, okay, someone tried to lose weight and start working out and they lost a couple pounds. Then they slept back to their old weight and then they gained 40, 50, 60 more pounds. It's like the shame and fear of rejection or failure made them just go so far they're much back and identity that they not want to be in. And this is not a good thing. It's not a good thing to let a failure or a fallback make you fall even further back than you're comfortable with. So I've had to walk away from friends, loved ones. I've had to create boundaries with people. I've had to distance myself from people, not because they were bad people, but just because our energy, our vision, our values were no longer in alignment. We're no longer matched. And it doesn't mean that they're wrong or I'm right or I'm wrong on their right. They were protecting their own limitations. And I was protecting what I'm trying to create. I was trying to grow past my limitations, not protect my limitations. And I want you to ask yourself who in your life is constantly reminding you of who you used to be? Who in your life is reminding you of who you were when you were a teenager? Who you were when you were in college? Who you were when you were broke? Who you were when you were in a bad relationship? Who in your life is reminding you of that? Sometimes the hardest conversations you need to have are with family and friends who love you the most. And it doesn't mean you need to kick them out of your life or you know remove people or it doesn't mean you have to be that drastic. But you do need courage. You do need to have uncomfortable conversations with the people in your life who you feel like are trying to put you back in a box. And maybe that uncomfortable conversation or series of uncomfortable conversations will create a healthy boundary. Will that person will continue to respect your boundaries and grow with you and make you even stronger together? But sometimes it might distance yourself or create a barrier because they don't like you changing. They don't like you improving. They want to see you as someone who's a victim or someone who holds this old identity because it makes them comfortable with their identity. People slip back because they stay in the same environment that created the old version of themselves. Your mind is always being influenced. Always by the content you consume, the podcast you hear, by the people you eat dinner with, by the content you scroll through before bed, whatever it might be. If you're serious about reprogramming your mind, you have to protect it at all costs. You have to guard your mind. There's a great quote from Jenison Sherrow when I had her on the show. She talked about this exact same topic when she came on the show and she said, the main reason they don't support your growth is because you're killing off the person they love. When you decide to change, you're killing off their buddy and you're screwing up their reality because you fit into theirs. When she said that, I was like, wow, yeah, when you're improving your life, you're killing off the version of yourself who is the best friend of someone, who is the family member of someone, and that person is no longer there. Even if it's not the person you want to be, that version of you is no longer there because you're not that identity. You are a new identity. So if people in your life are accepting of who you were, but not accepting of who you're becoming, it doesn't fit into their reality. It's not comfortable for them because you want to make a change. And this was huge for me. I had to change and I still get to change. It's like a constant process at different seasons of life. I'm a father now. I'm a married man now. I've got kids. I've got different levels of responsibilities. I get to step into a way of being that I've never been before. When you're single, you can do different things with your time, with your energy. You can hang out with different people. When you're in a relationship, you've got to evolve if you want to make the relationship work. And then when you get married, you've got to evolve to a new level of communication, of commitment, of all these different things. You've got to keep evolving and improving and growing to thrive in that new season of life, to thrive in that new relationship, to thrive in that new business, whatever it might be, to thrive in the new body you're looking to create. I had to change the conversations that I was in, the content I consumed, the people I hung out with, the energy I allowed around me. I was much more intentional and I am much more intentional now and I get to continue that be. I'm sure when my kids grow, it's like a whole new level of growing. So you've got to be thinking about what are the non-negotiables for you to have in your physical environment, your digital environment, whatever it might be, the news environment, the truth is your environment either reinforces your future or it anchors you to your past. And you can't build a new mind in an old environment. You can't. You've got to be creating a new mind in a new environment at the same time. That is step five, protect your mental environment. I want to give you a challenge right now as we wrap up. This is a 30-day mental reprogramming challenge. If you are ready for change, if you are someone who is looking to create a greater future for yourself, where do you start? How do you walk away from this video and create real results in your life? Well, I want to start you simple and I don't want you to get overwhelmed. For the next 30 days, I want you to commit to this. Number one, catch your thoughts, be the observer and notice the patterns that keep showing up. Again, we talked about this earlier. Catch your thoughts, be the observer, notice the patterns that keep showing up. If you need to write these things down at the end of the day, do that. Number two, interrupt the negative loop. Literally say, stop out loud if you have to. Like if something's going on, just say stop, stop, stop, stop to yourself. Stop. Whatever you need to say to interrupt the negative loop. Say stop, stop. Don't let old thoughts run unchecked in your life. Stop and be aware of them. Number three, choose your identity daily. Every day, ask, who am I becoming right now? Who am I becoming? Is this closer to the person I want to become? Every day, choose your identity daily. Who am I becoming right now? Number four, create a daily mindset ritual, just five to 10 minutes. Visualize who that version of you is, that identity. Speak that identity and feel that identity, that future identity that you want to experience. And number five, audit your environment. Remove what pulls you back. Have uncomfortable conversations with people in your life that are making you feel like they don't want you to thrive. Have that conversation with them. And look at what pulls you forward. Maybe it's new groups, new mentors, new whatever, that'll serve you moving forward. And if you do this for 30 days, you won't just think differently. You will start showing up differently. And that's when your results start to change. It's not going to happen overnight. This needs to be a daily building of belief through actions, thinking and words. Because the people who outperform everyone else aren't more talented. They don't just work harder. They think differently. They see opportunity where others see fear. They act when others hesitate. They trust themselves when others are looking for permission from other people. And that all starts in the minds. And you don't need a new strategy. You need a new internal programming. It's about the program in your mind. Because the version of you that has everything you want already thinks differently, already decides differently, already shows up differently. And the moment you start thinking like that person, my friend, your life will start to match it. I want you to share the biggest takeaway you've had from this episode. Leave a comment below, share this with a friend, like this video right now. Make sure you're subscribed as well here on our channel. And I want to remind you, if no one's told you lately that you were loved, you were worthy, and you matter. Show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great. Into the blue-est of blue water in the Maldives. Or eat a bagel the size of your face in New York. Or dive into a cenote and explore ancient worlds in Mexico. The only thing standing between you and this? Booking it. Book in store over the phone or online at Virgin Atlantic holidays. Select routes for teas and seeds visit virginatlantic.com. At or protected.