How to Attract the RIGHT Partner and Achieve True Freedom | The Mind Architect

So Peter, you are coined the mind architect. How did that term come about and how did it stick for you? I think like most things it was sort of the mother of necessity, right? Like all of the other monarchs felt contaminated, calling me a spiritual teacher was a little bit too flowing robes and sage. And I was called a hit man for the ego, which was sort of accurate, but sounded a little too threatening. And so it sort of just played around with words as I love to do. And I thought, well, what am I actually doing? I'm redesigning people's inner thinking space, which sort of spoke to architecture, which I really love and focus predominantly in the mind. So the mind architect was born. When you think about people's minds as a whole and people you work with and are coaching and you obviously coach a lot of high performers and athletes. What are the three main things you try to leave them with? Well, to be really succinct, there are experiences. And the first one is you may know because it's what I say as my predominant product is freedom, a newfound sense of love for life and then truly tapping into what it is to have a life of pure possibility. So they're the three main qualities. And if we want to dive into each one a little bit more freedom in self or freedom in how you see the world? Both. So really the way we see the world is an extension of how we see ourselves. So they're inextricably connected. So if you're not free within yourself, then the world occurs to you as also not free or you're going to attract circumstances that feel confining. So freedom is it's an internal state. It's a way of being that is also correlated to the fact that you're no longer attached to anything, meaning particularly your history. So most people are walking around with a proverbial baggage. And so the way the mind works, which is to predict and protect means that we take all of our trials and tribulations, challenges, hurts, failures, disappointments, and then the brain through sheer logic and wanting to survive will superimpose all of those traumas to a certain degree into as yet a future that hasn't happened yet and then try to avoid or mitigate. And so freedom is to eradicate that whole process to truly let go of everything that's happened. You can be informed by it. We learn from our history, of course, but it's to to truly be liberated from anything that might be confining you. So that's the freedom part. And that sounds like such an amazing concept and idea. But how do people actually get to that stage? Because it's not your decoding and deprogramming yourself in such a deep, almost like a cellular level. That's not easy to accomplish. No, so they just have to spend more time with me. OK. That's how they're going to do it. Yeah. No, I obviously ingest, but you'll be amazed if in the presence of doesn't always have to be me, but it's obviously my forte or my area of expertise. Late last night, I did a live big live event in London and I had a woman come off on the stage and admittedly she's 26. So the conditioning isn't as severe as say somebody who's 46 or 56. But nonetheless, she was Polish, grew up in a house of poverty, a mother who was a little abusive, particularly to her older sister. So she witnessed that was living in terror of also getting reprimanded. So she became the good girl, the quintessential A student. And her problem as she came on stage is she can't get a good job or any job she gets is always based in late hours and hard labor and it's not fulfilling. And so in about the space of 20 minutes, she literally because of the process I take people through, stepped into an entirely new world. Now, to what degree that becomes fully integrated over the next 24, 48 hours, such that she never reverts back to some of her old conditioning. I'm not so naive to know that some of these habits have a lot of momentum. The older we get, certainly the more likely we're going to flip flop as I talk it between this new world of pure possibility and freedom and the old world of familiar habits, albeit confining. And so it can happen very, very rapidly. And that's sort of, I guess, something that I'm known for, especially when I do my live events or my mastermind program online. So it is, it is, you know, a delicate form of reprogramming, and especially with some of these traumas that I don't want to be dismissive of or, you know, in any way, discount the hurt and trauma someone's been through. But when you really eradicate history and you fully become embodied in the present moment without any kind of concern for a future, then freedom is the natural byproduct. Then it's a matter of practice, meaning we start to recalibrate nervous system perception and then physiologically our entire body based on the way that we now view ourselves and life. So I always find the whole nervous system dysregulation so important, especially for women, because the first place that we should feel safe when we encounter somebody is our nervous system. Is that intuition that women have? Yeah. But when we're walking around life so unregulated, which a lot of women are nowadays, you don't make the right choices because you can't operate from your sense of your feminine. Yeah. No, it's a beautiful point and something I speak to and last two live events, I had two nights in a row. You know, I was talking about one of the primal needs obviously beyond anything that I do, but just in being human is the feeling of security and safety. And I would say it's skewed sadly as a dysfunction in the feminine because, you know, as sad as it is to say, and I do my best to sort of compensate for centuries, men have abused women, right? And that's obviously a very sensitive subject, but it's something that I try to bring awareness to, particularly for the masculine to, you know, get the shit together and stop doing that, you know, in short term way of expressing it. But it is for women, the first sort of portal into a world of freedom is to understand, even in the face of a world that is replete with men that tend to be immature, childish and abusive, to energetically create almost your own insular bubble of security, not through naivety, you know, you're not going to be walking around sketchy parts of town at two o'clock in the morning thinking, I'm totally fine. You know, there's an expression a friend of mine taught me when I was in college about the consciousness that holds us that we're beneficiaries of life, but then we're also part of life and so there's a degree of responsibility. So it's both, right? And he said, you know, yes, the expression was believe in Allah, but also tie up your camels, you know. And so for the female part of our species, I really have so much love and compassion. And as part of my commitments to this new world that I've created, you know, I really want both male and female to feel safe. But I would say right now the onus is on men to at least stop abuse, you know, to create the space to give an environment where women can relax, you know, it's cliche, but why do women feel safe around gays? For example, why so many I've got the best gay friends because for a minute for a minute, then nervous system can just relax because they're not seen as a, you know, as prey, as sad as that is to say. And then the other two parts that you also mentioned, how do you bring people to those levels of awareness? Is it the same thing take them through the same exercises or running them down that's unwiring those same limiting beliefs? Yeah, so one of the expressions I use is I don't solve problems, I dissolve them. So enlightenment to me is not a process of becoming something or, you know, someone or getting somewhere. It's really the deconstruction of untruths and these untruths are these subconscious lies that we have about ourselves such as I'm not good enough or I'm not loved or to the point that you just raise I'm not safe. And those constructs are what I write about these 10 primal prisons that every human being's got. We just tend to be defined by two, three or four of them. And that will then choose the way that we've strategized and coped with personality traits of perfectionism or, you know, being cute and sexy if you're a girl or overly dominant or performing as best as you can as a man. Being a people pleaser working hard, but these are all built on the foundation. So the three primary states that, you know, I spoke to at the beginning freedom, love and possibility what I recognize is they correlate to the distinctions of time past present and future. So if you are able to reconcile and truly break free from whatever it is that you've been through, whether it's five seconds ago five years ago five lifetimes ago, that inspires freedom. When you're in a state of freedom, what it does is it completely transforms your relationship to the present where instead of being in a primary state of fear, which is the predominant emotion that humans live with, then you start to shift into this appreciation, gratitude and love. Right. So it is, it's a cascade and a continuum of freeing yourself from any of these constraints, these lies of the subconscious that then lead to that sense of freedom and instantaneous feeling of love. Anybody that I work with, we would have, you know, anyone on the last night would have seen it with I bought two people up on stage and both of them had this newfound sense of obviously freedom, their breathing patterns change. So you see the physiology shift, the joy on their face, the smiles, the newfound sense of relief and gratitude and love for life. And then simultaneously the next stage as it relates to time is their relationship to future, which rather than being avoidant or anxiety based is now, wow, that which was uncertain that previously inspired concern uncertainty now becomes pure possibility. My morning coffee is part of a ritual for me. It is from the first sip to the last sip is something I really enjoy. 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What is the biggest underlying fear of why they're an avoidant? So anything that's based in fear and one of my quotes is, you know, I probably write in quotes, but it's like past hurt informs future fear. So avoidance. So the three primary energies that again related to time because we travel in time and space this dimension right. So that's why I like looking at both space environment. The biggest environment is the mind that we live in. Most people think the mind is here, but the mind is a space that we actually live within. So that can be jarring for people, but hopefully revelatory. So as it relates to time, when we're in a particular pattern of our own constraint, then there's a holding. So past tends to be associated with a holding holding on to you. Remember how, you know, an ex boyfriend or girlfriend hurt you or a mother, you know, told you that you were a mistake and the trauma becomes something that we're really attached to, which then in the present state creates a state of resistance. Right. So this is an it, but I'm hopefully getting there or this idealized future where I'm going to finally be happy, which actually creates stress. Cause now you're actually creating psychological time. And then that also creates a future where the past hurt informing future fear worst case scenarios means that energetically I'm trying to actually avoid what it is that my mind is predicting could happen. And when I really saw that it was quite comical cause we've got one brain and the one brain is projecting the likelihood of usually worst case scenarios. Or as I say, most people are trying to avoid about future that hasn't happened yet. So that one brain creating a concern. But then what happens is instantaneously that same brain that has got the projection or the imagination of something that could happen that we don't want goes into a state of anxiety and avoidance. So the mitigation of the whole process is to realize that we're all clueless. We don't know what the fuck's going to happen. And the easiest way to access that is to reconcile history. So ironically, avoidance gets mitigated by getting rid of holding. So that's the mirror. So that's where it's sort of for me, at least that's where it's born is that you're carrying trauma, your brain reconciles or remembers sorry things that you've been through that, you know, as as any mammal, we want to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. So whether it's been pain, now we're already in a state of avoidance, but it looks like we're trying to avoid a future that hasn't happened. But actually we still haven't reconciled a history that hurts us. Do you think and there's this really famous thing that kind of goes around that our external world is a reflection of our internal dialogue with ourselves. So we're living essentially in a simulation. It's like the whole kind of metaphor of the matrix and everything we experience externally is just a mirror of where we are in our internal process. To a certain degree, I think that's a component, but more accurately the external world reveals, right? So it's not so much the mirror or the reflection of us, but it reveals a reflection of us to ourselves. So the world, you know, one of my favorite quotes is life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free. So really the external world is the excuse we will attract those people and circumstances to bring to the surface that those traumas or constraints or limitations that we've yet to actually let go of. Or transcend. So there is a degree of that attraction or what people call manifestation. People are trying to do conscious manifestation on top of unconscious true manifestation. So I want this, but they wonder why they can't get it because energetically they're actually programmed to attract that. Right. And so that is the process of revelation where we get to see, oh, since four, since five years old, seven, three, I've always thought that I was less than my siblings. And that's now manifesting in a 40 year old in middle management or as an executive. And why can't he get the bonus or the promotion or whatever it is? Because he's still living within the world of I'm less than. So it's not that the world outside of him is truly a reflection of him, but rather he will see the world because of the way he views himself. So having done like coaching so many people and taking them through these humps that they get stuck in and kind of breaking them out of it. Do you yourself still today get stuck in situations and have to do the self work with yourself and break through with programming and patterns? Sometimes, yes, for sure. I'm still human and I'm quite content with that. You know, again, I jokingly say, please never become perfect. You'll have no one to relate to. So I probably will sustain that imperfection for the rest of my life to some degree. And also, I think I take pride in the fact that I love what I get to do and touch the lives of millions of people around the world. And I think part of it is because I'm relatable. Right. I'm not some guru who's up on a pedestal with flowing robes thinking that I've got all the answers. I do the best I can to reflect what I see. And, you know, by all accounts, I do a pretty good job of noticing these patterns. But there's been some blind spots for me for sure. And even in the last six to 12 months, you know, where I can recognize not they're not necessarily traumatic. It's like refinement, right? Like when Michelangelo was asked about David, the beautiful sculpture, how did you create him out of a big chunk of marble? He said, I didn't. David was already in there. I just removed everything that wasn't David. And so I would say, whilst most people I work with, I'm taking off big chunks of the corner and you don't even see any of David yet. But that's the heaviness that is the sort of the suffocation of the soul that is asking to be liberated. For myself, maybe you can pretty much see the sculpture, but you know, it's like the knees are a bit chunky still. So I'm just refining the definition of the right or just the work around the eyelids or, you know, something like that as an analogy. Do you think most of the people that come to you at the core of it, what are most of them searching for? Is it is it kind of the same theme? Is it like we want to feel loved and, you know, receive love and be picked? Is it really love? Is it people who want to be more successful? They want to be more abundant with financial wealth? What is the core theme that you see a lot of time? Great question. I'd say all of those, but they're all symptomatic of the deeper thing that people are looking for without sounding too esoteric or cliche is the true essence of themselves, which contains inherently the qualities that the ego looks for. So the three that I just mentioned, freedom, love and possibility, they are characteristics of the souls we are, but the ego being on the surface based in limitation can never get them. Right. So it's like an addiction. The ego, like I say, addiction is where you can never get enough of something that almost works. So, you know, for a woman in the realm of beauty, sexuality or sensuality or hair, skin and clothing, and that's like it. You might have the day where your skin is glowing, your hair is great. You just got whatever the manicures and the perfect outfits you've been to the gym consistently. And I just hit that moment, that crescendo of where I feel great, but that it's going to transpire. Right. And so anything that can come or go like that, the fragility of that is all ego. But underneath it, what that woman might be looking for is true self-worth, which is inherent on the surface is going to be transitory. Some days you feel great. Sometimes you feel lousy. So anything that can change belongs to the ego. So what everybody's looking for is the truth of themselves, which is eternal. And so that's where I use these qualities of freedom, love, possibility, power, worth that they're inherent. But as long as we're looking for them, we're actually perpetuating the idea that we don't have them. So it's very slippery. If we were to put it under one word, I always come back to freedom, but that's synonymous with peace. And so that to me is real success. Like when I work with high-end executives, athletes, billionaires to doing keynotes or corporations, you know, I always want people to ask themselves, what does success look for like for you? And typically it's in the arena of materialism or status or actual numbers in a bank account or followings. And that to me is an old model of success. True success is being completely at peace. Do you think these high achievers and billionaires and stuff are happier than some of the people you have at your seminars, who may not be as financially successful but might feel more freedom and peace within themselves? No, their means of escape are just more expensive and luxurious. Okay. And why is that? Because they can afford it. But no, but if you think if you break it down further, is it that their traumas are just about the same and they're just like exhibiting them in different ways? Because they're human and oftentimes people who become incredibly successful in the material old model have oftentimes been informed by a childhood of poverty or scarcity or lack. And so as a compensation, thinking as any human would in a like the woman I spoke to on stage who was from Poland from a very poor family, it's not a pleasant existence. And so we're by design trying to create the life that is usually the antithesis of the life we don't want. And so this is why there's this insatiable search for more. Right. So if someone is based in scarcity, there's not enough money in the world to overcome that because you're being driven by that. It's like I said last night, my talk, you know, if who you are for yourself is you're not enough, you can never become enough because you've already declared yourself not enough. Right. So it's like a very powerful scene in the matrix where Neo goes to see the Oracle and I'm sure you're familiar with it. You know, and the kids are floating these cubes and then there's this one kid with the spoon bending the spoon and his line, which a lot of people don't understand is don't try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Just realize there is no spoon. Right. And it really speaks to the fact that our brain is already creating a world out there and then we do everything we can to manage that world, not realizing we created it. Right. So if I am for myself that I'm not enough, that I live from a place of insecurity or scarcity, I've already created that. Then the strategy is to compensate, not realizing all I'm doing is reinforcing the world that I had already created. One of the things that reminds me off is this can be applied a lot to love. So I have a lot of girlfriends right now who are like, we're single, we're looking for love. They're no good men out there. But you're creating that world externally by telling yourself these limiting beliefs. And I know when it comes in this day and age, everyone's like, oh, it's so hard to find a romantic partner. It's so hard to settle down. And I always look at my friends and say, I think that's a limiting belief that you have. And for the women listening to this podcast, because we do actually have a large female audience, where would you tell them to start when it comes to looking for a partner and finding something meaningful with somebody? But the true partners with themselves, with cliches that is, like love is not exogenous. It's not out there. And one of the most popular videos I have on my Instagram that had like seven and a half million views, because it appealed to this very subject. And I think the majority of my followers, maybe 70, 75% are women, you know, because I would tip to the cap to women who have the intelligence and the intuition and the wherewithal to do this work. Men are waking up eventually, but is that recognizing that, you know, this woman that I was working with in the live was romanticizing this man that she'd fallen in love with, you know, when she was in her 20s. And ever since now in her 40s, had never really sort of repeated that sense of depth of connection. And for that reason was constantly remembering who he was and thinking if only and all the fill in the blanks of whether it's him or there's no one like him or there's no good men in the world. And I said, no, it wasn't him that you fell in love with. He was the catalyst and inspiration to reveal the love that is your true nature. And so oftentimes with these friends of yours or any women out there who are under the impression that either there's no good men out there or you can't find love. It's really that they haven't had a role model or the experience of that to discover it within themselves. So it's hard to generate without that. And that's one of the big stands. And both of the feminine, particularly mothers out there, but is to be a space represented by the masculine that is unconditionally loving with no agenda. I'm not wanting anything from the feminine and to really allow a woman then to sort of rest into her nervous system, feel the depth of her femininity and her ability to nurture and to give and to love, which is what she's looking for. But you can't find it out there because it's not out there. Again, to your question earlier, it's a reflection. So if they're saying there's no good men out there, it's not that that's a truth. There's 8 billion people on the planet, the majority of which 50% are going to be masculine, not all of age appropriate, obviously. But you know, there's still, you know, a few hundred million. And so it really isn't a statement of truth, but it's a declaration of their own reality, which is really a reflection of their history where they've had disappointments. And so it's the the sort of mirror image of a history and why it's a profound understanding by saying most people's future isn't created. It's remembered. And what that means is that you're actually superimposing your history with disappointments and failures into a future which then gives rise to the statement in the moment of there's no good men out there. But truly, if you live into the world of pure possibility, then everything's available in ways that you don't understand. In fact, the knowing mind is the obstacle. So for your friends, for your women friends out there who are single, the opportunity which takes faith and trust is to recognize that life is waiting for you to let go of knowing what's going to happen and allow it to surprise you to be open, which itself is an expression of the feminine, right? The receptive energy of the feminine, the loving nature of the energy, the unconditional nature of the feminine. If a kid falls over and has a booboo or hurts himself, the feminine is usually the one that embraces even the kid did something stupid. The masculine wants to come in and teach what you should have done. It's very linear. So really the nature of the feminine is to stay open. And so if they've already declared that there's no good men out there, then they're actually in a very analytical state of mind, which is masculine, which is the obstacle itself to attracting the masculine. If you are taking protein powder, you definitely need to hear this. The Clean Label Project tested 160 different proteins from different vendors and brands across the U.S. And you're going to be shocked at the discovery that they made. Nearly half of the top selling proteins in the U.S. tested high for lead. And if you're somebody who consumes protein powders daily, this is something you have to be concerned about. 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So if this, if any woman is looking for a particular type of man, then her opportunity and maybe even her imperative is to embody the frequency of who she would be if that man was in her life first. So I always say frequency precedes form, whereas most people have got it the other way around. They're waiting for something to happen before they feel a certain way, which means that you're playing the game of, you know, seeing is believing, which is such a common expression, right? But seeing is believing is also called waiting. And I play the game of believing is seeing, which is called creating. So it takes, you know, either way you look at it, these women, and again, I don't want to categorize in any way, but like it can be men too, who have like also got the same conversation, you know, there's no decent women out there or women who aren't like, So they want money from me and that's all they want. Yeah, they're just gold diggers or whatever. And so energetically in the declaration of those things, what you're doing is you are creating a future that hasn't happened yet. So either way, you're using the faculty of the mind, which is based in imagination, you might as well use it to your benefit. Because women might say, Oh, well, that's so hard for me just to imagine who I'd be if I was in the presence of this Prince Charming, this guy who was so unconditionally loving and made me feel safe. I'm like, it's really not because you're already creating this worst case scenario of a stereotypical male who you've got some history with. You're still making that up. Right. So it's like I worked with this NBA guy who had the worst free throw shooting average in the league, 37% a basketball player. And the league average was like 78%, like seven to eight out of 10. And he was three to four. You know, it's embarrassing. He's getting paid millions of dollars not to do that. And so I asked him what are you doing? And he said, Well, I get up to the free throw and I'm desperately trying not to miss, which is energetically him trying to avoid a history that's already happened. Right. So the same I told him, what if I told you for the rest of your career or for the rest of the season, at least you shoot league average? And he's like, face lit up. He's like, do that. That'd be freaking amazing. And I said, well, and he said, like, that'd be great. How I said, well, it's as real as the future you're worried about. Well, I just made it up. We're just still sitting in your kitchen. Right. So it's really about being able to in the most humbling way, except your history. If you want to really analyze it, look at who have you been as a woman? Oftentimes women will tolerate circumstances that weren't that didn't behoove them. They stayed in relationships or weren't that great, perhaps because of the fear of being alone or because, you know, the justification of the kids and it's difficult and all the things that we hear every day. But to me, you know, one of the, the, my favorite distinctions to teach women and then this can be an ouch, but also very empowering is that the, the, the greatest attribute I think or one of as a woman is resilience. Like as much as men can be stronger and faster, women are way more resilient. You know, it's, it's really crass and it's not mine. But you know, there's that comedian, I've forgotten her name. Is it Betty something? She's an old woman, American. She was hysterical. And she said, you know, when a guy says grow a sack of nuts or grow a sack of balls, she's like, that's terrible. That's so sensitive. That is very true. Kick a woman in there. You know, that thing can take a bout. Well, we do give birth, you know. Exactly. So I thought that was always hysterical as like, you know, so I think there's something to be said in terms of the masculine, which can be super fragile. And yet women with what they would stand. So to make my point of resilience being such a beautiful attribute of the feminine. However, and this is the ouch part, but also the awareness point is that resilience when coupled with the underlying subconscious identity of lack of self worth turns into tolerance. And when women can really see that and take responsibility for it without guilt or shame and go, holy shit, my capacity to withstand is a beautiful attribute. But because I don't have self worth, what I'm withstanding is absence of love, maybe even emotional abuse, God forbid, even infidelity, all the things that a woman's able to stand with because of her capacity, but nonetheless in a dysfunctional, a maladaptive way. So that's my invitation to women is to see how fucking badass you are. There's nothing you can't handle. Get over your bullshit stories just because of a history. Be responsible for the kind of men you've attracted and see was it because of lack of self worth? Did I never feel loved as a kid? Did I never feel good enough and see that that's all a crock and that who could you be? Because otherwise what you're saying and the relationship, even if you did attract Prince Charming, typically it's not going to last because you'll have the too good to be true. So yourself sabotage that if you don't reconcile the dysfunction within yourself because you'll see, you know, the real love and everything that you want, but it will be up against and juxtapose against your own lack of self value. So then you go to an event or you go to a function and there's a prettier girl and maybe God forbid your boyfriend, husband looks at her, it will immediately trigger the lack of self worth. You'll get into a fight. He's eventually going to get pushed away because of your anger and your insecurities and it's self sabotaging. So until you do the inner work and you become the person who's most in love with yourself, it's very hard, borderline impossible to attract that in somebody else. And for women listening, they're like, okay, so Peter, where do I start even doing the inner work? Where do they even start? Because most women are just sometimes lost a clueless at this day and age. So where do they even begin? PeterCrone.com. Good plug. We need to come to my mastermind for women wanting to find love. The majority of people in my mastermind, which is the most powerful offering I have three months intensive with me led by me is again women, you know, and I freaking love it because whilst men think they run the world, I think women actually truly create a world. And so we need that. We know that women that sometimes wear the t-shirts that the future is feminine. I mean, again, that's also dysfunctional, but it's certainly skewed in the wrong direction right now with the patriarchal. So to go back to be more direct with your question, you've got to find good friends. You've got to find somebody who can listen. And more than anything, somebody who's going to call you out on your bullshit, right? Because women, you know, as much as men can just talk trash, you know, I think women can get even worse, right? And I think the gossip and misery loves company. You know, this is, it's such an unhealthy toxic form of conversation. So I think for any woman out there to find forms of inspiration, you know, if it's not a good girlfriend or a sister or somebody or even a good male friend, you know, there are good dudes out there who can hold their hands. They can hold their hands in a good, comfortable space without some sort of, you know, intimacy agenda and really share vulnerability because vulnerability is the access to intimacy. Right. And yet it's sort of paradoxical because people who've been hurt are so closed and scared, you know, to share themselves, but then you're not in a relationship, right? As I often say, most people are in a relationship but not in relations, right? So they're not relating. And to get to practice that with girlfriends, people that are a safe space for you is the way that you can start to uncover what are the, in the dialogues, what are the conversations I've had about myself that are themselves unloving. So they are the reflection of the absence of love in the outside world. So that's the place to start. Journaling, I think, is great. You know, women's groups, anything that can help for a woman to feel safe to just to start to speak, you know, because oftentimes these dialogues are stuck in the head. You know, you go to bed, you're in bed and you can't sleep for a couple of hours because you're vacillating, you're in the shower, you're driving, you're by yourself. And this stuff needs to come out. I think when I listen to a lot of my friends and stuff speak, I think the number one thing is women are trying to control and micromanage so many different situations versus being in their true essence and feminine and letting things be. Yeah. Because we have over compensated for men being so far in their feminines, women have stepped so far into their masculine. And when it comes to romantic dynamics, you need to be able to receive and not control or be like, maybe I should text him this because I'll get this reaction. Maybe if I post this, I'll get this reaction. That's being in your masculine. Yeah. And I think that lack of polarity between men and women is what's causing the societal breakdown in romantic relationships are not being able to find partners. Yeah. No, it's a huge component and it's a dysfunction. And I, you know, without getting political, I think the powers that be are somewhat intentionally trying to create that, right? You know, all the things, all the, you know, the big banner headings on newspapers and the things that we see that have people up in arms to create this diversity and this, this, this friction is not healthy. And women are stepping more and more into this very linear way of thinking, analytical left brain. And just biologically, it doesn't make space for the masculine step up while simultaneously the masculine that's being emasculated and, you know, being mocked and is not able to step out of the little boy energy and truly hold a space and understand this is something that I've been really working on in the last few years is, you know, what is it to commit not just even in intimate relationships, but to one's mission to one's purpose to one's diet to one's fitness regimen, you know, to your, your whatever it is that you're committed to. Where is there the absence of true commitment. And so it's, it's a responsibility on both sides. I think, you know, it's easy to point a finger at the man and I would say that, you know, just by virtue of biology, the masculine is the leader. So guys get your shit together, pull your head out of your asses and stop playing the little boy and asking your girlfriend or your wife to mother you, but also women stop tolerating bullshit. Right. Because otherwise one enables the other. The more that a woman will stay in a situation that at some level is abusive. And I know that's a strong word, but I say anything that's the absence of love is abuse. It might not manifest as certainly physical is, you know, horrific and abhorrent and not to be condoned, but even emotional, the subtle gaslighting, you know, as a woman, if you recognize your value, you're not going to tolerate that. And so indirectly you're asking guys to get their shit together. Because if you stay around, it's like the kid who's, you know, grown up as with a single mom or he was the only child and his mother over Molly cuddle did the laundry, did the cooking and he's still at home and he's 38. You know, so that at some level is now the responsibility of the feminine. So tough love is required on both sides, but I think, you know, for the masculine to proactively step up, but for the women to almost reactively not tolerate. Right, which is still a sort of a proactive choice of self worth. What am I willing to be with? And that's also hard because they're both appealing to the sense of inadequacy. If a woman feels not enough, then she's going to tolerate BS. If a man feels like he's not enough, he's going to want to be mothered. Right. And so the same dynamic is at play and it's incumbent upon both, you know, to deal with it. And I would just say you women are smarter, more intelligent and more insurative and you're more ready to do the work. So stop putting up with shit. Well, I might get like people might really get upset about me saying this, but I think the feminist movement was one of the biggest disservices down to the female kind. And I think we need to go back in time and de-program ourselves away from the second wave of the feminist feminist movement, which has moved us so far into our masculine. And as a unit, as women have to come together and be like, no, this was shoved down our throats for political reasons and other reasons and women leaving their homes and all that stuff. And that does not rob us of our independence. But at the same time, what role do we want to play today as women and how do we want to show up in the world and how do we want to be treated as a result of that? Amen. Couldn't agree more. And I think unfortunately, you know, as human beings, we learn predominantly through mimicking, right? Especially as kids. Like I often will say, not I didn't learn this, but a friend of mine taught it to me. I didn't learn it through experience. I don't have kids, but he said, you know, your kids will rarely succeed in listening to you. But they will invariably succeed in becoming you. Right. So when you understand that dynamic, we want to be responsible and for women to notice who are your role models because energetically, whether it's conscious or not, you're learning to mimic. So if you're looking at the, you know, I don't fucking know who they really are, but the Kardashians of the world or these, these girl bosses, right? You know, and maybe some of them are like really seemingly elegant and they seem to have feminine, but the underlying sort of the seductive nature is they're strong and they're successful. And that might be the insidious part of what someone's pursuing versus to focus on the elegance, the sophistication, the beauty, not the cosmetic appearance, but the real beauty. And I think a friend of mine who his wife is like in her sixties and okay, she had great genes. She was a model when she was young, doesn't do one bit of work, has got the longest gray hair and is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. You know, it's just who she be, right? And so I think for women to start to recalibrate what is it they're aspiring to and who are they watching? You know, who are you learning from? I think it's a language that I use. I say there's a language you use and there's a language that uses us, which is the unconscious programming obviously from childhood, but it's also in adulthood. Like what is driving us? Who are we drawn to? You know, if you're looking at a woman who represents this sort of, you know, the whole girl bossing, as I said, then at some level you think that's where it's at. That's where your worth is at. And you're digging in the wrong place, right? And then you complain about the fact, well, I don't have a man who really holds space or provides or. Correct. You're not projected. You're not programmed right now yourself to make space for that. Right. And allow for that other energy to come in. Because I also think to your point, when you show up with this attitude that I have all my shit figured out, I don't need you for anything. I have it all. Where is a man going to come into your life? Where's room for him to be the man and for you to be the feminine? And I think being a woman and correct me if you think I'm wrong is just showing up just as you. Yeah, it's not the bells and the whistles and what you look like in the context and connections you have just you in your essence should be enough. Yeah, it is. Being you is enough. And I shared again last night in the talk, I said at some point as a child, we decide consciously or not that being us isn't enough. Because with the birth of language, usually in those terrible twos or threes, because we now start to understand words, we hear that we did something wrong or bad, we shouldn't have done this. And so what that implies or directly states is that what you did means that we can't love you until you rectify that. And so that's deep, you know, that's the original abandonment of ourselves is that we decide to become who we think we need to be in order to keep the care providers happy, which again is that pursuit of love. And so it becomes exogenous. It becomes out there. Who do I need to be in order to get love? Please that person. Which is really just ultimately for your girlfriends and everyone else out there, you're still looking for the love and acceptance of your parents, which really at the deepest level is the love and acceptance of yourself, right? Until you people really find that true unconditional capital A acceptance of self, then you're always going to be shackled. You're under the impression that what you're looking for is outside of you. And that is a fool's game. Thank you, Peter. This has been such a wonderful conversation. I I'm really passionate about helping women reconnect with their true feminine nature and still have their freedom and independence in themselves. But true freedom, like you say, comes from liberating yourself within you, not the external world. So and I would assert you can't have that freedom until you discover that self love and acceptance and femininity. Right. That's the irony. It's like the car before the horse. Right. There's a funny Groucho Marx movie where someone asked him directions and he says, well, you can't get there from here, which of course is paradoxical because you can, but you can't. And so for me and these two distinct worlds, the world of ego based in limitation and fear and suffering and disease, you can't access the world that I speak to a freedom, love and possibility and vitality from there. Of course you can, but not as long as you're in it. So you have to free yourself from the shackles. Then everything sort of tends to unfold effortlessly. Thank you so much for coming on the show. And I'm so grateful I got to sit down with you. Yes. Even though I rushed you over and we're going to continue part two in Saudi. Let's do it. This is beautiful conversation. I'm glad at least we got this out. Thank you for tuning into bio hack it. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please don't forget to subscribe, rate and leave a short review. It really helps us reach more listeners just like you. Follow us on Instagram at bio hack dash it for exclusive content and the latest updates. Remember your health is in your hand and curiosity heals.