Ep 278 | The Next Adele, Ella Fitzgerald & Billie Eilish?! | Emma Nissen | The Glenn Beck Podcast

And now, a Blaze Media Podcast. algorithm to reach more Americans who need to hear the truth. This isn't a podcast. This is a movement and you're part of it, a big part of it. So if you believe in what we're doing, you want more people to wake up, help us push this podcast to the top. Rate, review, share. Together, we'll make a difference. And thanks for standing with us. Now let's get to work. Thoughts are just thoughts. They're never true unless they're a fact. Facts are true, but thoughts, they're made up. Music is different than the spoken word or painting or anything else. It's just different. It speaks right directly to the soul. Amazing. So if you're making up that you're ugly and you're making up that you're beautiful, choose the one that moves you forward, then hinders you. This is the best gym encounter of all time. I know. I was seriously spiritually swole after that. Ready? Roll it when you're ready. I have done interviews and met people that are like my biggest heroes in music. Elton John, Billy Joel, B.B. King. and I swore I'm not going to meet people I really, really like anymore because sometimes, like B.B. King. Does it ruin the magic? Yeah, B.B. King hit on my wife. No. And I was like, no, B.B., no. It didn't really pay attention to me. It was just like, come on over here and sit on B.B.'s lap. And we've spent a couple of hours together, and you are wonderful. Thanks. You're really wonderful. I appreciate it. Likewise. I discovered you eight months ago. That long ago, really? Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Six months. Well, I don't know. Time goes by fast. Yeah. And I saw you because you were someplace and you were just riffing on the Hammond B3 and you were singing Gotta Have Faith. Oh, yeah. And you didn't sing the whole song. And I saw that and I was like, oh, my gosh, who is this person? and I listened to you and when I got there and started going through music the first thing I heard I don't remember what it was but I thought oh she sounds like Adele then I listened to the next song and I went no she sounds like Billie Eilish and then I heard the next song and I thought she's positively Ella Fitzgerald and I found that whenever you can't put somebody in a box, that's when you have real unique talent. Well, thanks. Tell me your story. First of all, play Breathe. The whole song. If you want to. I've got the time. Of course. We'll start with the banger. First of all, thank you for saying that because it was interesting when I was putting together the album, I was listening to all of them, trying to come up with the order. And I was like, I had written them pretty much within one year of it. But when I was producing them, I produced them with about three different producers. And I felt like it all just kind of sounded different. Like one was very much gospel inspired and one was more poppy. One was clearly more jazzy. But I think I settled more on like, oh, it's okay for it to be diverse. It's more like a bouquet, you know, because you don't want just something. Me personally, I don't care for a bouquet of just roses. I like lots of wildflowers. So I appreciate it. And I feel like, you know, people, music has kind of changed in that it can be more than one thing. And that's kind of where we landed with Jesus and jazz. That it's not just one thing. So this is, per your request, Breathe. Breathe. I breathe, fill up my lungs, I breathe The warmth of the sun I breathe Because of every God that will not breathe And I see so many holding on I believe that when kingdom comes, I'll be completely overcome and free. Feels like I'm drowning when it's me, my thoughts and I. Just like Sinatra said, I guess I hang my tears out to dry. Gaze, I never take it, never gonna have the Savior by my side. Just like the queen of soul, I say a little prayer and on out comes the star. And I breathe, breathe, breathe Breathe, breathe, breathe There's some sort of peace that comes from no one got in this sun I look into a face filled with familiarity And let the good air fill my lungs There's some sort of peace that comes from me I get someone to watch over me He's my love, my God, my Savior, my King, and my remedy. And I breathe, breathe, breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe. See you next time. Just like the queen of soul, I'll say a little prayer and on all comes a sigh and I pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. I breathe Fill out my lungs I breathe The warmth of the sun I breathe Because Oh, baby, God, you won I breathe Where does that come from? It's a conglomeration of a lot of things. I mean, you look like you could be in ABBA. You know what I mean? And then that comes out of you. It's amazing. Well, thanks. Ironically, I don't breathe at all during that song. I find myself gasping. I'm like, but no. I heard that. I don't think I've ever. I've heard people try to sound like Ella Fitzgerald, but I don't think I've ever heard anybody naturally sound like Ella Fitzgerald. There's parts of that that sound positively. How much of a role did she play in your life? Extremely central to so much of my musicality now. Even if what I do isn't strictly jazz, though it is almost this closeted part of me that I don't get to do as often as I would like. But I went through a really heavy phase in high school of just listening to Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra like every day. And it was kind of just my, yeah, she's my muse. So can I ask you, I heard that you are doing a tribute to Ella at the Ella Fitzgerald Theater. Yes. Yes. What was, what is that like to be asked? I don't know if I fully digested it. And it's like some girls, they wait and they plan and they've got Pinterest boards for their wedding. And that is just like the peak of their existence. But this, when Tom, my manager, told me about it, I was like, Tom, well, you're being way too nonchalant about this. This is like the peak of this is this is the best thing I'm ever going to be asked to do because Ella Fitzgerald's everything to me. So I'm just so excited. And she like to give some background of my my ear training and it's Ella Fitzgerald largely. But before that, it was Gershwin and Debussy and Chopin and all of these classical not that I played, but I have four older brothers. And the one that's just older than me, he was probably the one that I was listening to practice the most. and he would get up at 5 a.m. and practice every single he was just very very dedicated and he would practice these passages for these very long and difficult complicated songs over and over and over again and it would annoy him so bad but i knew what came next so i could sing these like complicated uh rhapsody in blue note for note obviously not every note because there's a lot of fingers going on but um i would sing them and he would he would hate it because i would seeing what was coming next, but he just needed to practice slowly. And I realized when I was thinking back on this just the other week, that when he was doing that, we were all at home together. And I was like, Adam, I think that that is why I am like why I attached myself to jazz and learning scat. Because the what makes me so excited about the Ella Fitzgerald thing is, I'm so obsessed and love her so much that I learned note for note, a seven minute scat solo that she did live in Berlin in 1960 from How High the Moon. Like I just I knew it note for note. And sometimes I'm like, how did I do that? And I'm like, oh, it's because I've been doing that since I was little doing, you know. And so that's like I'm very, you know, no pressure on myself to do, you know, seven minutes note for note. But I I'm like, oh, that's what you're going to do. That's my time to shine. That's, yeah. I'm really excited about it because I'm like, this is, you know, some people work for, you know, I'm only 25, but I'm excited for that one for sure. You sound like you are 50 musically. I really do. Thank you. You know, it's interesting you say your brothers played classical because I don't remember what song I was listening to that day. And it was on your, I heard it on your acoustic album. But I felt like there were hints of classical, and I thought, no, she's Nina Simone. Yeah. Because the chords and some of the ways you play the piano, it's just not typical. Well, part of that could be because I quit piano very early on, so I kind of have to fudge the rest of it. But it's, yeah, it definitely... How much classical training do you have? Vocally, nine weeks. And I'll tell you the story there. Nine weeks. Yeah, there wasn't much to learn there. But, I mean, no, no, no. Not meaning that there wasn't much for me to learn, but there wasn't much that I could learn in those nine weeks before. So my vocal cord. I know. It's a big story. Okay. Just why only nine weeks? Well, I'll tell you. Yeah, so. And this kind of goes into me writing music for the first time. So I grew up in a very musical family, obviously. My brother, who's the second oldest, taught me how to read chords. And I think once I read chords, I kind of quit on piano. But I did take piano growing up, and I could read music. But I've since – my skills are lacking in that department. So I read chords, and I started to find songs that I really loved and learn them. Play by ear? Yeah, definitely play by ear, and then just relying on chords. But so I was fortunate enough to get a scholarship to Northern Arizona University, their vocal program. And I don't know that I quite comprehended how opera that would be. And so it wasn't like my jam necessarily, but I was like I was in it and I was excited for it. But it meant that I was singing like six hours a day between practices and choirs and ear training classes and diction classes. they all had some element of vocalization and singing and, or just talking or in my extracurriculars. So what ended up happening was nine weeks into that first semester, I hemorrhaged my right vocal cord. Holy cow. Yes. Did you, did you feel it? No. Did you know this is what you were to do yet? No. Okay. So it wasn't like, oh my gosh, my whole life is over. Well, yes, but it's, it was a perfect segue. So at that time in my life, I felt pretty connected spiritually to like what God wants me to do. I will do. And what God's plan for me is I want to I want to, you know, chase after that. And so I kind of had this like if there's a perfect window of opportunity for me to do something that God wants, like I want to follow that. And so I had that kind of in the back of my head. and it was, I mean, you could call it by chance that my vocal coach was like, oh, the ENTs, they need mock patients to learn scoping throats. Will you go be a mock patient? And it just so happened that it was like just a few days prior to that, that I had lost my voice and I didn't realize that that was the hemorrhage. And so I go in and they're like, oh, it looks like you've hemorrhaged your vocal cords, but because we're just students, you should go get another opinion, but stop talking, stop singing. You'll probably need to drop out of college. so my immediate reaction was like oh my gosh this is horrible i thought that god was leading me to music college and like i got this scholarship i was the first freshman to ever get into the jazz program there and i felt like i was you know crushing it but then immediately i get this like this is this is my window of opportunity to do something better that i don't yet understand i just gotta have faith good for you so that was like i was like where that song comes from so a year later, I'm living in Sweden, pandemic starts, and I'm like, I felt I had been led there by God, and I was like, this is my thing that I'm going to do. Because you're serving God, and you're... Yeah, and I was doing a church mission at that time, because I just kind of changed course. I was like, okay, I won't do college, so I decided to do a church mission. And nine weeks into that, pandemic starts, and I was like, well, I thought that God wanted me to do this. And I get that same, like, well, this is the window of opportunity to do something better. I just got to have faith. And for the first time in my life, I'd never written a song, but I went over the piano. Hang on just a second. I need to say this again because I heard this the other day. After listening to you and really listening to you over and over again, and then I find out you had never written a song until five years ago? Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That's nuts. It is nuts. That's nuts. I kind of still don't believe it. And you didn't have a desire. You didn't want to, right? No. I don't think that I had anything to write about up until that point. Even now, obviously, Taylor Swift is huge. And Taylor Swift was the writer. And I was just like, I don't really have anything to write about that's going to be. I never dated anyone, so I had no love stories or breakups to write about. And I wasn't probably that deep or meta. that I wasn't writing anything. And I just kind of thought it was cheesy and it was every girl's pipe dream to just be a writer with their guitar. So I was like, eh, whatever. But I grew up listening to the greats like Stevie Wonder and Billy Joel, and there's a lot of storytelling in that. And my dad's a storyteller. And so I felt like... Your dad did a famous animation movie. Swan Princess. Yeah, Swan Princess. That he did. He's got all of the... Cells. Yeah, what they used to work on the animation. Yeah, in his room. It's just so cool. And he was the voice of Derek in the third one. Wow. So that's always fun. But he, yeah, my dad's a storyteller. And so I feel like I grew up, you know, telling lots of stories through different facets of my life. But you're in, so you're in Sweden. I'm in Sweden. And now it's COVID. And now it's COVID. And you're locked down. And I'm like, well, what story do I have to tell? And it really just kind of came from my, I was like, well, we got to have faith. And so I felt like, oh, the way, because at that point, I didn't really know if I was going to be a singer. It still felt a little out of reach and maybe unrealistic. And I also just, you know, wanted at my core to be somebody that was there for other people, someone that people could relate to, someone like an angel to other people, like, how can I help? And I felt like those two things slipped together. in writing that first song. And I remember I was like, you know, I've always just kind of had a little like gospel choir on the back of my head. But I was like, gotta have faith. And I walk over the piano, and I was like, oh. And I just remember just being filled with so much joy at that point. And it just wrote itself. Oh, sorry. I'll tell you, that is when I saw you playing the Hammond B3. Yeah. That's what I felt. Yeah. I felt this pure joy coming out of you. It was amazing. No, for sure. Will you play it? I will. Let's see. So this is a song really kind of to you. Oh, for sure. This was my anthem that I think carried me through a lot of anything that came my way. I was like, well, we got to have faith. And that just kind of became my thing. And it's applicable to just about anything. I look around and begin to count my It's not the right lyrics What is it? First one I should know it No it is I'm reaching out Oh it's reaching out Reaching out I'm reaching out yet the sun keeps on setting Painting me gold but bringing no and a blue As I look to the stars I can feel the tears start swelling And I cry, help me Lord, what am I to do? I gotta have faith, faith in the Lord That the sun will rise tomorrow and I'll be stronger than before I gotta have faith, faith in the Lord, that these trying times will help me and I can reap my reward. I look around and begin to count my blessings. Oh, one by one, and I see what God has done. My heart is falling, I don't need to keep on guessing. I am a child of God Even after all this said and done But I gotta have faith Faith in the Lord That the sun will rise tomorrow And I'll be stronger than before I gotta have faith Faith in the Lord That these trying times will help me And I can reap my reward Oh, and I know that my Savior's walking with me By my side, in my heart, and in my mind He's the light of my life that I need to save And I know that I am because of Him And I'm going to have faith Faith in the Lord, Lord That the sun will rise tomorrow And I'll be stronger than before Faith, faith in the Lord That this giant eyes will help me And I can reap my reward I gotta have, I gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta Have faith in the Lord We've been delivering That the sun will rise tomorrow And I'll be stronger than before He the light of my life that I need to survive and I all that I am being because of He So when you write that, and you sing it, and you've got it nailed, you think? Yeah. what what did you think when you when you finished what i don't honestly i was so on my mission i just had facebook and it was like my mom and probably some other fan accounts that she had created that like i didn't have anybody following me and i kind of i had to get over this fear that people were going to judge me for being a girl that was singing because i never wanted to be the type of person that was like hey guys here's a song that i wrote i really like it and i hope you like it too you know what i'm saying so i just didn't want to be that person that like was self centered and thought that I was a great singer and that everyone would benefit from listening to me. But then I realized like once I started writing about my spiritual journey and like my imperfections in that journey, I realized, oh, it's not about me. It's about the collective, you know, bringing people together and the experiences that we share. And you and I talked before we started recording about we're all so much alike and we all hide so much because we think we're flawed and nobody else is. We're all flawed and we're all flawed in many times exactly the same way. I could tell you probably a lot of stories of me embarrassing myself with the few celebrities that I've met and you will see how flawed I truly show up as. I met John Legend last December. I was opening for him with Adam Blackstone. Straight up, just I had a runny nose, didn't think it through. My body took over and I wiped my nose right before shaking his hand. And everybody, we all just like, it was like time stopped. And I was like, oh, there's snot on my hand. I like brought attention to it. It was horrible. It was awkward. Everybody hated it. My dad was like, no, you've ruined this. And I was like, well, whatever. And so now at my shows, I'm like, I just got to tell you, I'm not any cooler than you just because I'm up here. 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Get a free title history report and a free trial of their triple lock protection. hometitlelock.com, promo code GLEN. so i see people start in christian music and i wouldn't put your music into christian i don't think you have a box and i think yeah in some ways christian music there's praise and worship music but you don't fit in that box yeah and um i don't know why it has to be called christian And because, you know, I listen to some popular music and it's not I don't call it pornography. Yeah. You know, just because the lyrics are one way or another. Yeah, I think genres really come down to like identifiable community. But so like when when my music gets lobbed into the Christian genre, which technically it is because we do we talk about spirituality. We talk about, you know, Christ and a lot of themes in Christianity. But I have a lot of listeners and a lot of, you know, people that have discovered my music that either aren't religious at all. You just did a tour in Europe, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah. That's not a big, you know. I know. Well, it's interesting because I thought I grew up thinking that that Europe was more secular and kind of agnostic atheist, especially Sweden, where my heritage is from. And I got there and I was because I was connected to the Christian scene through a friend. I went and did a Christian festival. I was like, oh, there's a lot of Christians here. But so I think you find your people. But it's been really cool that me finding my people, there has not been a single like uniform fan. You know, it's just been a lot of different walks of life because, you know, we talked about this a little bit earlier that you can write a song. for one purpose or from one piece of inspiration or one moment in your life, but it's up to the listener. It's like art. And I know you collect a lot of art that like they may have intended to convey this message, but you may feel something deeply that is based on your version of reality and what you've experienced up to that point. So that's why I'm like, I think I got over that fear of being that girl that was like, hey guys, here's a song because I was like, this is something that came from me. Do with it what you will and what you do with it is going to be beautiful. And we're allowed to be together in that. So there's a, you know, Michael Buble and I became friends before he was Michael Buble. And and I remember going to see him in concert early on. It was the first time he was at Radio City Music Hall and he walks out on stage. And before he walks out, I'm talking to people and they're from all over the world, all over the world. Yeah. And they had traveled all over the world and and seen him several times. and uh i had known his music but i had never seen him live and you don't have to like standards to like michael buble yeah the key to michael buble is joy he is so joyful yeah the whole time and i think that cuts across all yeah genres i think especially about like jazz standards the way The reason I gravitate towards those is because there is a feeling that is almost intangible from those. And it's like the nostalgia, the joy. And I know that you're saying Michael Bublé radiates that joy and not necessarily the music. But I think it's he's so happy to be there and to do it. You know what I mean? He just it just is like that is just he loves it. Yeah. And you can feel that. Yeah. Your music, you still feel that from you, but also the lyrics and everything else. Yeah. Yeah, I think I've received that from several people that despite maybe, you know, especially some international fans that maybe when I'm singing really fast or I don't enunciate very much. The inspiration coming from those jazz, the nostalgia, the way they paint pictures with those beautiful poetry and words. I'm like, well, that's what I want to convey in my music. And I feel like I've done a successful job to this point because of the reactions that I've got. Like, I didn't even know this was talking about this or I didn't even know what this was talking about. And I felt this and I'm like, music speaks for itself, you know, and it's like. So when did you hit? When did it explode? When did it explode? Because it exploded with that song, right? No, with Breathe, the first one that I sang. Breathe was the first one. I think because it was so niche. It was I posted a video two Novembers ago. So November of 23. I was like, have you heard of Christian jazz? And it just kind of exploded. I was not expecting it. And I yeah, I was just posted on Instagram and I thought, oh, this is fun. People might like it. And they did. And then it it brought us to I started getting lots of DMs for the first time. I was like, oh, this is crazy. and one of those people was Adam Blackstone, who is the musical director. He's been involved with the Super Bowl, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Beyonce, Stevie Wonder. He works with everybody, and an incredible person to know in the industry. But he texted or he DMed me on Instagram and was like, who are you? Come to New York and sing at the Blue Note Jazz Club. Blue Note. Yes. So I didn't know. I live under a rock somewhat because I kind of live in the 1940s and I don't know anything current. So I looked up Adam Blackstone and I was like, oh, he's a big deal. And then I like because I don't know anything. Then I looked up Blue Note Jazz Club and I was like, oh, it's a big deal. You didn't know. No, I don't know anything. Well, that's not true. But like about the industry, I was very I've been very slow to learn like, oh, this is important. You should know this because I'm just flying by the seat of my pants on a lot of on a lot of stuff going by the vibes, you know, jazz. But I and I think maybe because I was a singer, he thought I was based in New York. But he was like, come and sing with me next week and in our next month and jazz at Blu No. And I was like, OK. And he was like, you're based in New York. And I was like, yes, I'll be there like anywhere that you want me to be. I'll be there. And we had such a good time. He asked me if there was anything I had written, and I was like, is this how this goes? He was so incredible. So we ended up singing Love Like You and then a Christmas song that he had written on his LP that was for Andre Day. And we just had a great time. I met Queen Latifah there. Wasn't as awkward. No snot involved. But, yeah, I just had a great time. The energy was palpable, and we just grooved. And I was like, do you want to I don't know the rules to a lot of this game. So I was like, do you want to record this? Because I was like, I don't know. You just ask. Right. Maybe it's not. Maybe you shouldn't ask people that are that high up if they can do you that favor. But I was like, do you want to produce this? And he was like, yeah, that would be awesome. My studio is in Philly. And I was like, great. I can live in Philly. I'm like, I can all be there. I'm located in Philly. So, and so, yeah, he ended up producing that song and it was just like, I think that was kind of my introduction into kind of his sphere. Because he really took me into, he really took me under his wing. And he's been a really good contact because he's just so kind and he just wants people to succeed. So I've just, I feel like, oh, yeah, this isn't, this isn't hard. This isn't scary. It's just about having fun. So, yeah. So what came, what came next? so when i moved back to the states after sweden i started i knew that i wanted to record the music i had been writing and i thought it's still kind of a big dream what had you had written i so i had written just about every i've written probably about 26 christian songs and i'll end up releasing 24 ish um i've got two albums worth and i wrote the majority of those minus maybe three or four from March of 2020 until like August of 21 in that year and a half. I just like that was how I spent my time. And so I came home and like September-ish, I picked one song and that was Hear Him. I did a Kickstarter, people donated. I was able to go to Nashville and record three more songs, met some great people, and then got picked up by a label, then was able to do the rest of play hear him and tell me tell me a story the serious the story of hear him was truly just that uh i i don't know i think we talk about uh like i grew up the culture of speaking about the spirit was still small voice and uh you know as a phrase hear him the voice is soft and low that was kind of like ruminating in my mind just it's not always loud it's not always obvious and that was what i felt was there right after i was walking out of the hospital i felt like it was a it was a small just like kind of like just gotta have faith you know it's just kind of like in the back of my head and i was like yeah you're so right and i think that's why people miss it yeah maybe they miss it because they think it's just them it's gonna be so obvious yeah but i think too a lot of things it's like it's it's up to you, my beliefs now, as I've just kind of grown and changed and reconstructed, deconstructed, all of the above. I think too, that the spirit and how you see God and Jesus or something greater is up to you. You, you choose to open your eyes to answers, to blessings, to goodness. And so that's kind of, you know, it's like you will hear what you're looking for. And if you're only looking for something to be a grand gesture and for God to just rain down fire and these big miracles. It's like, well, you might, you might be missing all these, these small open doors just because the one that you want is closed. Um, so that was kind of the thought behind this one. Out of the water, I fill up my lungs and I say to the father, what have I done? To deserve all this loving I can't understand But I know that he hears me cause I get this answer Hear him, though the voice may be soft and low Hear him and you know Hear me strive with all your heart and soul Hear, hear, oh Out of the darkness and into the light This weight on my shoulders begins to take flight I can feel my hope growing Yes, I feel it inside And I know that he'll carry me through the darkest nights Hear him, though the voice is soft and low Hear him and you'll know Hear him, start with all your heart and soul Hear him and you'll know Well, I don't know what lies before me, but all I know is I trust in the Lord completely, completely. Hear Him, though the voice may be soft and low Hear Him, imagine the world Hear Him, strive with all your heart and soul Hear Him, imagine the world Hear Him, strive with all your mighty, mighty and sound Hear him and you know Hear him and you know That was the song I heard and I thought, she's Adele. That's such a high compliment. Thank you. You're so gracious with your compliments. No, I don't say what I don't believe. It's remarkable. Well, thank you. You know, I'm listening to, and this may be a really odd question that maybe nobody can relate to. You have, and I don't even know if this is the right language, tonality. The way you form your words, the way you use your mouth, did you just learn that from listening to people? Because it's almost as if, and maybe it comes from scat maybe. I've heard you do your mouth trumpet, and you absolutely sound like a trumpet. But there are times where the way you form your words in your mouth, it sounds almost like different instruments, and it gives you this unique sound. Yeah, I think I've spent a lot of my high school in listening to jazz imitating and trying to find... I don't know that I was ever trying to like consciously find what does eminiscence sound like. Because I think I am just a conglomeration of the things that I've grown up on. But I've learned to kind of imitate different sounds. And I truly have this thing that like if a truck goes by and honks its horn, I will subconsciously like if it's like, I'll be like, like, I just have to I have to like, yeah. Or if like someone will like, I'll hear that and I'll go. I have to like get the right note. I have to like, you know, I have to, it's like a, I don't know. Almost a no CD. Not that. Yeah, but it's just like an, I don't even know. I just find myself, and it gets me into trouble because sometimes if somebody, one time I was in high school history class, and my teacher said the word rhinoceros weird, and I didn't mean to, but I was like rhinoceros, and it was dead quiet, and I was like, I am so sorry. I was like, I cannot believe I just said that. But it was subconscious. And I think I just spend a lot of my life repeating and trying to figure out, oh, can I do that? You know, and so did you did you listen to the instruments or did you listen to people? Can you do a little mouth trumpet? Yeah, this is something I discovered in third grade. I was like, I'm not even kidding. It was just like me probably just trying to be more annoying. But let's see with lip gloss. It'll be. It's just a thing. It's a party trick. It's just a party trick. Yeah, but that one's fun for sure. But yeah, I found myself kind of just repeating, And I feel like I'm conscious of the emotion that it evokes when I hear something. Like we were talking about Samara Joy earlier and just some of the greats in jazz. When they come into a song that's like you just hear like, for example, At Last by Etta James. That first I want to like you hear that. And it's kind of nasally like, but you know what's coming. And it just evokes this like, ah, Lana Sunday kind of love. And it just feels like falling in love. And so for me, I've been like, okay, well, if I'm going to sing a note, then I'm going to. And that's for me reminiscent of Etta and anyone else. Yeah, I think if I were to take my best guess at what I'm doing. But you wrote, I think, one of my favorite love songs is... Till That Day. No, Ray Charles. Oh, that. I can't remember the name of it now, but I Love You in a Place Where There Is No Space or Time. It's stuff like that. It's like we don't write like that anymore. I know. Honestly. No shade to Taylor Swift, but I don't hear that in her songs. But you do. You know what is the love song that I wrote it down here till that day I love that song That is so because I love the lyrics in it It's like I love you in a place where there's no space and time. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know. Well, I know where I was in that moment where I had written that I was so hurt. And I think I I think in that moment I had I would say that I was in love in that like I had fallen in love with somebody. and it was not like reciprocated in the way maybe that my expectations had set up for myself. But, and it was, you know, all I had ever listened to was jazz and I had like fallen in love with this guy and I, and it got my heart broken and I was like, well, I'm going to write exactly how that feels. And so it's just like a very nostalgic, like I wanted to paint the picture of all the things that you feel when you're in love. Who produced this on the album? So I did this in Nashville with my producer, Seth Mosley. It's really well produced. It won't sound the same doing it live. No, it won't, unfortunately, because we don't have the vocoder. And the vocoder is the secret ingredient. Oh, it's really amazing. But the lyrics and the music are enough. Play, please. It's been a minute since I've reminisced about this song, So I'll have to just, um, you have to look it up. I have to look it up because I, so do you think there's ever going to come a time where you're sick of the songs that you, I already am. I know that's horrible to say, but I've, I've got to be honest. Sometimes I, I sing songs, but this is the beauty of showing it to new people is they get to reintroduce it to you. I, uh, I did an interview just, just like this with Tony Bennett and I know. and it's the last few minutes and he hasn't done I Left My Heart and I said I hate to ask you this because you know you must maybe you're sick of it and he jumped ugly on me real quick he was like why would I be sick of that song and I'm like no I didn't mean it but he sang it and it was unbelievable oh I'm sure now I think and it's just maybe because I've kind of gotten into the rhythm of doing them. But that's why I like doing stuff live, especially with jazz or jazzy elements to things, is because they never really sound the same. But yeah, this one goes kind of high. So we will do our best here. Everybody's talking about the magic it is to be loved. But I don't know it, no I don't know it Everybody's showing off their life with a lens, rose, call it a round But I won't show it, no I won't show it Till the day you looked at me with such delirious love in your eyes Till you talk to me like it's the last day, last day of our lives Till you walk with me forever like we've been hypnotized To be the one that I love will never make me wanna say goodbye Everybody's running around with their fingers laced and adorned But I don't buy it, no I don't buy it And every smile I've seen seems to be set free by this falling love But I wouldn't show it, no I wouldn't show it Till the day you looked at me with such delirious love in your eyes Till you walk with me like it's the last day, last day of our lives. Till you walk with me forever like we've been hypnotized. To be the one that love will never make me want to say goodbye. Oh, I feel myself falling into a picture perfect life. I feel I've waited twice as long just to get the devil's prize I've been hurt of delight to have been deeply traumatized So don't love me in the ways that I despise Till the day you lived in me with such delirious love in your eyes Till you talk to me forever like we've been hypnotized Till you walk with me forever like we've been hypnotized To be the one that love will never make me wanna say goodbye To be the one that love will never make me wanna say goodbye What's it like to be able to move people emotionally like that? I don't know. I don't know that I consciously have an expectation of the emotion that's to be moved. But, or even if I, like sometimes when I'm singing. But you must feel it. Like, I am so emotional after that. And you must feel that. It must be a really could be a very dangerous thing if you let it go to your ego. But it must be a really cool thing to be able to sing. Music is different than the spoken word or painting or anything else. It's just different. It speaks right directly to the soul. Yeah, there's a couple of things I would say to that. One, I don't know. this isn't me feigning humility but i truly don't know that i um have any expectation of like affecting people's lives but in retrospect when i get to hear because you like a lot of a lot of like i don't do it to and i know that's not what you're saying but like i don't do it to go out there and be like i'm gonna go bless lives right now and like go to a concert you know But I just like I do it because it's it's blessed mine and I want to share that. And one of the things that's cool about this position, you know, I run into people sometimes out and about and they, you know, they'll stop me and just tell me like really quick. Oh, you know, I've loved this or this or I've found this song when this and this happened. It's very, very kind of them to like go deep and share something with me. But a lot of people don't really get to see the effect of what they do and how that ripples out. But in moments like that, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe I get to I get to see pretty immediately what that what that was to somebody. And that I think you never know what it's going to be. And so I don't ever want to try like with my writing music. I've never thought I want to make somebody feel loved. So I'm going to write a song that is like that. It purely is inspiration. That would be AI. Well, yeah. It's just like, it's just not me, you know, as I, and some people, this is why, as I've gotten more and more into the industry, people are like, oh, do you want to have writing sessions? Do you want to write with me? And I'm like, no, I don't like, I, I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to go off of not inspiration. Um, and so that's why, but that's why you're different. That's why you're authentic. Possibly. That's why I think you're different. I, yeah. Go ahead. I was watching one of your Instagram posts, and I think you had just gotten off stage, and you were talking about a dress. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about? I know what you're talking about. Yes. Tell a story. So this goes back probably longer than just the last five years. But I've always been somewhat, I would say, like I've been confident. I've been confident to show up places. And I don't know that I struggle so much with the like, I don't feel like I should be here because I'm just like, well, it's not even just me. Like I have to give credit to a higher power. So I feel like I'm like it's me and, you know, so but I like and trigger warning to anyone that struggles with eating disorders or body dysmorphia. But I struggled deeply the beginning of 2020. I had this really weird bout of anxiety and it was so bad that it made me nauseous and I would throw up like seven times a day. Oh, my gosh. And then it just kind of stumbled into an eating disorder. And and I lost a lot of weight really quickly. And it was and I've and I'd always struggled with my weight because we always kind of joke in third grade. I started eating school lunches that I would eat people's mac and cheese. And then I just got fat and I cursed the school lunches. But I man, that mac and cheese was just too good. And and you were allowed to eat people's food in elementary school. Like you had to eat your own. But I every time that aid turned its back, I shoving some mac and cheese in my mouth. But I anyway, so I always like struggled with my weight, feeling like I was way bigger than the other people in my grade. And just like really like, man, their cardigan is an excess and mine isn't a large like I just it was, you know, also just like girly things, just growing up and being 13 and whatever. And I thought I had a good handle on it. But going then, once that eating disorder, and two, on a mission, people feed you all the time. And I had weird things that I didn't know if I was allergic to with dairy or whatever. So I just would eat and then throw up and eat and throw up. And it was horrible. I fixed it. I got I was able to overcome that part of just struggling with food and identity. But once I fixed that and stopped throwing up, then I gained a bunch of weight. And then I like the body dysmorphia was just so it hit me like a truck. And I just was like it was so strange because I really felt like the most important thing you could do was learn how to love yourself. And I didn't understand why I didn't even think that I deserve to look in the mirror. And it was stuff like that, that it was extreme where I was like, I, people's lives are worse because they have to look at me. And it was like, no one thinks that it's just like your brain cooks up the worst. And it knows exactly who you are and how to get you. Yeah. It's amazing. And I, you know, this is probably stuff, too, that I will, I know, will continue to work on. But it's like, I sometimes then couldn't tell, well, am I lying to myself? Like, do I actually think that I'm pretty, but I'm making myself feel bad? Am I manipulating myself? And if people know, like, there's just a lot of layers there. But I was like, well, maybe I deserve to feel bad because then when I get better, I'll have felt the most worse that I could. So then I'll feel the most on top. It was so complicated. Yeah. And I didn't know how to explain that to anybody because I didn't want to just be like, oh, I'm just feeling down in the dumps and I hate myself. Like, it's just like, whatever, get over it. Everyone hates themselves. You sound no, no offense. I'm a recovering alcoholic. Like that sounds like an alcoholism kind of thing because it's it you're you're constantly playing all these different things out in your mind. Yeah. And when you want to reach out for help, it's just complicated there, too, because you don't want to feel sorry for yourself, but you don't know how much to ask for. So anyway, what I know we're talking about here is how I got over it was it was like in the thick of the height of just me not loving myself for who I was. And I didn't know how to fix it. And I went to the gym one day, probably working out against the mirror so that I didn't have to look at myself. And I ran into a friend from high school's mom. and she was like, oh, it's so good to see you. I teach these cognitive therapy or these cognitive thinking classes at night. We're doing one tonight. You should come. And I was like, okay. I didn't have anything better to do. What's cognitive thinking? Her class was mainly focusing on your thoughts are powerful. It's just focusing on your thoughts. And cognitive thinking is just thinking. You know, just focused on your the power of your thoughts. I've said this a million times. And so anybody who's listened to me before and I've said this, I apologize. But my father used to say the two most powerful words in any language is I am. God says, who's Moses? Who sent me? I am that I am. And he said, what you follow those two words with that blank. Yeah. that will create you. It is the creative force of God. Be careful. I agree wholeheartedly. And I will remember that because at the end of the story, I'm going to tell you my agreement story that ties it in with what you just said. Okay. This is my unmedicated ADHD that has to physically put a pin on it. But I went to that class and she starts thinking, talking about how our thoughts make us feel a certain way. And when we feel a certain way, we act a certain way. When we act a certain way, we define ourselves a certain way. And when we define ourselves as something, we think a certain way. And it's just this cycle that keeps going. And I was like, okay, this isn't so revolutionary, but she was like, so right in your, in your notebook, what's a thought that you have good or bad that makes you feel a certain way. And so right away I go, I'm ugly. And, and I'm like, it makes me feel ugly. And I may, and she's like, then it's going to make you act like you're ugly. Like you turn away from the mirror. You don't let people talk to you. You don't go out. And then you're going to define yourself as that. And you're just going to keep on thinking that. And I was like, yeah. And so she goes, this is what it changed truly. It was for me. I know it's not as easy for some people, but for me, it was nine day. It was a switch. She goes, Emma, thoughts are just thoughts. They're never true unless they're a fact. Facts are true, but thoughts, they're made up. They are, they are our thoughts that we make up and you are the one that decides what your truth is. And I was like, well, no, that's not true because I could look at a tree and say, that's a tree and that's a true thought. And she goes, no, that's a fact. You're looking at a tree and that's a fact. And I kind of, you know, I got vulnerable, vulnerable a little bit in that class. And I just told everybody what I was struggling with. Cause again, I've for, you know, my struggles, I've also been very authentic. And I was, I knew like, this is not a, this is not something that I created. I know other people struggle with this. So I thought, okay, well, I'll just talk about it. And she goes, all right, well, we're going to, we're going to talk about it. So your thought is that you're ugly and you feel this way. She goes, but what if you thought a different thought? Like, what if you thought you were the most beautiful person in the world? How would you feel? And I was like, well, I'd probably I feel pretty great. And she was like, okay, and how would you act? I was like, I'd probably go out more. I'd probably talk to people. I'd probably smile more. And she's like, and you would identify yourself as a beautiful person. She goes, so if you're making up that you're ugly and you're making up that you're beautiful, choose the one that moves you forward, then here's you. And I was like, this is like, this is not a, this is the best gym encounter of all time. I know. I was seriously spiritually swole after that. I was like, what? And I just was like, it almost felt illegal how easy that was. I was like, that's it? And she was like, that's it. Change your thinking, change your life. We almost don't give ourselves permission. Yeah. Because we were, I think, so conscious of, like I was in the beginning, of not wanting to come off as self-important. I didn't want to be like, I'm beautiful. I'm the greatest. I'm wonderful. But it's like there's a fine line between being prideful and you're having your ego be through the roof. And just believing in yourself and telling yourself, I can do hard things. I can, I'm going to get over this and this is going to be wonderful. The sun is going to come up tomorrow. I'll be stronger than before. And I realized I've been writing all this stuff the whole time. I just didn't apply it to myself. And somebody said, I saw this one time that if someone were to ask you to list all the things that you love, how long would it take until you said yourself? And I was like, oh my gosh, it would probably take a minute. I don't think it would take a day. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I would probably start with cheese, get towards other foods. I would prioritize food. But, yeah, no, I – and so to unpin the thought that I had pinned earlier was I wanted to test something out because people, you know, they've done like – if you've ever heard those, like they put two apples in – one in each room and one they speak mean to and one they encourage. It kind of feels silly. But like the theory was that the one that you spoke bad to would shrivel up and die quicker than the other one. And just like talking about how words are powerful. And so I was like, okay, I'm going to go on these walks or these runs. And I did cross country in high school. And so my breath, like I kind of had a specific breathing that with my legs, I would go in, in, out, out. And like that was kind of my rhythm. And when I was like, okay, I'm going to run and I'm going to go, I am on the inhale and then just say something. And then I'm going to do that for 10 minutes straight. It, one, it was to help me focus. And two, I was like, what's going to happen? Am I going to bloom? Am I going to blossom? And it was crazy. Changed your life, didn't it? Yeah. I'm still in the middle of the experiment. But I truly, like, it is something wonderful to just go through and just go. You're running around town and you can say the same thing over and over. Just, I am wonderful. I am beautiful. I am lovely. I'm a kind person. And you keep on telling yourself. And eventually you start to feel it because we tell ourself the opposite. It is human nature to tell yourself, oh, that was so stupid. I'm so stupid. I made this. You know, always that tape is running problem solving. We think that attaches to the negativity. So because it's a survival mechanism. It's like if I learn the negative thing, then I won't do that again. So a lot of times we provide negativity for ourselves because our brain latches onto it because it thinks we're problem solving. It thinks we're in survival mode. And it's like, but if you tell yourself you're ugly, then you'll avoid all of these things. But it's like, whatever. If I tell myself I'm beautiful, then I'll live a great life. And like I it it seems, you know, like you don't want to just tell a depressed person. We'll just be happy. But for me, it was that easy to just be like, well, just think nice thoughts. And I was like, oh, my gosh, it was that easy all along. And I actually have a song that I wrote that is totally about this. And am I worthy? No, no. Well, there's that, actually. A lot of my songs have the same theme, but they're just set in different ways. They're different hues. But this is a new song off the new album. Oh, okay. And it was just, you know, I was thinking about that. I'm probably always subconsciously thinking about this, that, you know, God created all these beautiful things. We look at the mountains. I mean, you know, here in Utah or in Idaho, these mountains, the beautiful landscape. You're like, this is lovely. This is beautiful. But then that same notion of, but how long does it take before we look at ourselves and go, love it. I love it. It's beautiful. So that was what this song is about. And there's not much more to say, but it's called Lovin'. Look at the moon and the stars and the sun, each shining so bright. Yeah, that's how God made them. Now look at yourself shining and tell me why it's not too low. Love should come easy But like most things it's easier said than done But like most things you get into a rhythm So let's be kind and let's smile at ourselves We know we aren't perfect, that'll take a while So let's start loving, loving, loving, loving Everything I gave us, let's be loving Loving, loving, loving, loving Everything I gave us, let's be loving Why does it take a lifetime To look at ourselves and be satisfied Even then, most of us are sad and tired We gotta pick ourselves up and realize So let's be kind and let's smile at ourselves We know we aren't perfect yet, let it take a while So let's start lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' Everything I give us us be lovin' Oh look at yourself lovely Everybody else, we're so lovely Oh look at yourself, we are lovely Everybody else, we are lovely Look at yourself lovely Everybody else we so lovely Look at yourself we are lovely Everybody else we are lovely And look at the moon and the stars and the sun It's shining so bright Yeah, that's how you got me Then look at yourself, shining And tell me what's not to love So let's be kind and let's smile to ourselves We know we all forget that it'll take a while So let's start loving, loving, loving, loving Everything I gave us is be loving Loving, loving, loving, loving Everything I gave us is be loving Wow. When you started writing this new album, did you have a moment of like, can I do this again? No, because it was all written at the same time. So you haven't run out of songs that you started to write back then? No, this was all, I have not written a Christian song except for Am I Enough, Love Like You, and Angels. I think they're the only ones that I've written in the last two years. Wow. Yeah. Everything was written then, and when I was putting together my first album with the label, I had to pick and choose. And so part of me felt like, oh, this is the scraps. Because in my mind, I was just going to do one Christian album, and then I was going to move on to stuff like Till That Day and the other stuff that I had. I hope you never, don't stop mixing them. I know, but the thing is, it's just inspiration, So I can't make myself sit down and be like, I know, I know that. I know that. But I hope you don't ever listen to somebody who says, no, that's got to go on a Christian album. Yeah, I know. I know. And I think it will always continue to like music is changing. You don't have to have like with what we're talking about, bouquets. It doesn't have to be one thing. And so I'm like, I can write a Christian song and stick it in a pop or the album. So I just think people like to put me in boxes for better or for worse of like, oh, you're this type of person, this type of singer so this is what you'll be and i'm just like i not to mention taylor swift again but like like taylor swift have my eras so like right now it's gonna be probably more on the nose christian and then i'll write others i mean i've written i have had like two other albums that are just like locked and loaded but timing and so it's just like it will i don't know like i want to do so many things i want to write scores for broadway i want to do these types of things i want to be a double. I want to be Adele in 007 and do then credit. I want, you know, it's like, I have lots of visions and it's not just going to be the one thing. And it never started as one thing. But, um, and that's the other thing too, is I don't know that people realize that like, this isn't me being sure and saying, you need to believe the same as me. This was me coming from a place when I didn't really know if I believed in God or what I believed in and having lots of questions. Like I just have to have faith because it's the only thing that I have. I don't have any knowledge. And, um, or am I enough? I don't know, but I sure hope so. And I've prayed that prayer a thousand times and I keep on getting amazing. Can you play a little of, yeah, I'll play the first half of that. The, am I enough enough for you, Lord? Am I enough With all the things I don't do, Lord Am I enough? Am I worth loving? It's not I don't trust You're ever loving But some say Some say we might not make it into heaven And what if it's me, am I forgiven? Open my eyes to amazing grace How sweet the sound to hear you say You are enough And you always have been So don't lose your faith For you are mine So beautiful. Thank you. How many people need to hear that? Yeah. That's the only thing that I'm sure of, honestly. Like my, my life is full of, you know, kind of, I mentioned just reconstruction all the time. The more people I meet, the more I reconstruct because it's, it, it allows me to build more walls of love, you know, like not walls between us, but it allows me to knock down and rebuild of like, oh, I understand that better now. Let me love more. And, um, that's kind of, for me, the only thing I'm sure of with my music is like, I don't know. I don't know where I stand on a lot of stuff. I don't know all the ins and the outs, if you want to get into the semantics and the theology. But the thing I do cling to as my belief bordering on knowledge is love is the most important thing. If we can't love people, then there's probably some walls up. We don't have to like each other. Yeah, we should love each other. But there are some people there are some people that I think won't be your cup of tea. And that's OK. I've also learned like and I'm not going to ever write songs about like you don't have to like them. Just go on because I feel like it's implied, you know, but what's not implied is like the people you hate. You should love like just and yeah, I don't know. I just, I find so much more peace in promoting a more broad love and let people get to dissect that for themselves. Because I'm like, yeah, this resonates with me. No matter where I'm at on my journey, I resonate with love and compassion. Can I ask you to do one more song and tell me the story? Yeah. Of Angel. Yeah. I believe in angels. This is a, this is one of my favorite stories. And this is about not knowing your direct impact on people, but I sometimes get the privilege of hearing exactly what that meant. I was singing at a devotional, and they had a speaker before me, and she's now my good friend Heather Van Boren. And she is a double amputee. A couple years ago, before Christmas, she was walking out of a Costco parking lot and got hit by a car that was coming out and pinned her between two cars and she lost her legs. And when she talks about the story, she just talks about all of the miracles. She's such a good sport and she has so much hope and love and just wonder looking back and being like, wow, how wonderful that was. She was on the phone with her husband when the accident happened, and he was a surgeon at the hospital that shared the parking lot with the Costco. And so he heard it and was able to be there almost, you know, within minutes. And then there was also people that – there was someone who was able to turn the – or tie the tourniquets on her legs, therefore saving her life, even though, you know, her husband was there as soon as he could be. You know, when you lose your legs, you're in danger there. and then other people like just a woman who sat there and held her hand. And I'm like, that is so traumatic to be with somebody who has just lost their legs and to be able to be calm and sit with them and hold their hand. And like that's just got to be a wave of just power of just like just sit there with that person, you know. and just other other experiences in her recovery and um just that whole the whole journey was just filled with i think miracles for her and angels and people that she could um you know feel compassion for even the the person that hit her and um i just love that story and it it has i i I feel it deeply because it's just like so powerful. And we talk about it all the time. We'll go get our nails done and I'll have I'll just ask her questions. And what about this? And one time I was like, OK, I was I had missed church and I was like I was thinking about her story. And I was like, well, instead of church, I will listen to her story on the podcast that she had done and telling it. So I'm listening to it and just, you know, I've talked about its inspiration. I just go and I walk over to the piano unbeknownst to me. sometimes. And, um, I'm listening to this podcast. I press pause and you want to know what's funny. It was about the same guy that I wrote till that day about, I was kind of like, I had written so many songs and I was like, all right, I just need to wrap this up, wrap up this chapter. And so I was trying to write a song about that and wrap it up. And I was using this chord progression and it just wasn't working. And you know, I feel like me, me and Jesus, we got a good relationship. We're kind of sassy. And Jesus was like, no, stop, get up, move. That's not whatever. Put a pin in it. You know, he speaks my language. Put a pin in it. And I was like, OK, so the next day I'm listening to this podcast. I pause it. I go over and I go, angels, angels, angels, angels. And he was like, yeah, that's what that was supposed to be for. You just were trying to rush it. And I was like, oh, and I I then I write this song and I send it to her. And I was like, angels are a big part of my life. I have a grandpa that passed away in 2015. I feel very close to him more so now as he, you know, I lived in Sweden for a while and he, his ashes, we took them back to Sweden. And I was able to be there on his birthday slash death day and speak Swedish to him for the first time since I had learned it. And I just feel very close to angels and even the ones that are alive. and so I sent us to her and I was like I just love angels and I love you you're my angel and this is this inspired listening to your story and I sent it to her and she sent back she was like Emma this is crazy I am at my neighbor's house and her son had passed away the day before from suicide and she was like you would never have known that you know and like but that was a and And I was like, that's where I have to chalk it up to. There's something bigger than me that goes on in this process. Because, you know, it was inspired of one thing, but it meant something completely different. So that's quite, you know, I love telling that story to people because it's so moving and powerful to me. that we joke, you know, my age, oh, it's not that deep. Everyone says, oh, it's not that deep. But sometimes it is, you know, and it can be. But so this is Angels. Angels, therefore the weary angels Rescuing, holding on to angels with glory, life and grace Angels, their arms open wide, oh the angels Singing out, I can hear the angels with glory, life and grace Oh, I believe in what I cannot see. Oh, but I can feel them holding my head up to the clouds when I'm turned around. And I can feel them holding my hand Showing me the love I can feel myself Yes, I believe in angels I believe I, I, I, I believe In angels, therefore the other weary angels Rescuing, holding on to angels With glory, light and grace Angels, therefore the other weary angels Laugh with me from time to time when pain swells And I'm trying to hold on Yes, I believe in what I cannot see. Oh, but I can feel them all holding my head up to the clouds when I'm turned around. And I can feel them holding my hand Showing me the love I can see myself Yes, I believe in angels Angels, angels, angels But I can feel them holding my head Up to the clouds when I'm turned around And I can feel them holding my hand Showing me the love I can see myself Yes, I believe in angels I heard that song and that's when I reached out to you and asked you to be on because I told you at the beginning she's Adele you know she's Ella Fitzgerald she's Billie Eilish and when I heard this song I thought oh no she's eminiscent someday you will be a category that somebody will say, oh, so she's like eminiscence. You are really wonderful. I wish you would come over to everybody's house and do this. It has been a delight to have you here. People just have to ask, and I'll do it. It's as easy as that. No, I love, this is, one of my favorite things is connecting with people. So it's been a treat for me to just listen and learn and open my heart to more love and talk about things that make me love. And I, yeah, I really appreciate you creating a place for that because it's the best things that people get to do. So thanks. Thanks, Emma. Yeah. This, so just as like a, this, because I feel like this sums up a lot of how I feel currently. And it's what I wish people knew about me. And I think people can also relate to this, that sometimes we don't know. And as a Christian artist gets lobbed into the Christian genre, people kind of assume like, oh, you're Christian. You know, you have your values and you know them and you promote them. And so people sometimes get upset that I'm too broad or that I don't say things straight. You know, you're 25. One day, one day over 25. And I just I'm like, I don't have it all figured out. And I I am OK. Like, I'm not terrified of that. I think the first time I kind of deconstructed my faith and had to figure out, OK, what is it that I believe? And I thought it was just going to happen once. But, you know, life is not just one. I still do. Yeah. So I just I was like, oh, I thought it was really scary because I was like, oh, my gosh, if I don't believe this, then I can't do this. And I can't, you know, but then I realized I was like, oh, so much life to live, laugh to laugh and love to love in the midst of all of that. And so I was like, I, you know, maybe don't know everything and can't say to people what they should do. I don't even think that that's my position in life. But I was like, for me, I'm not scared that I don't know. And until I get to that place, I just need somebody to hold on to me, you know, whether that's God or whether that's the people I have around me. Just hold on until I can rely on my own heart. And sometimes it's a collaboration. So this is truly one of my favorite songs. And this is another one on the album that the new album. And this is a new one that I wrote because I think it just came at the pinnacle of hurt when people wanted me to be something that I wasn't. And I was like, I just we got to hold on. Hold on. And it's going to be fine, everybody, because I'm not stressed. So why are you stressed? And it's just very raw because it talks about me thinking that I'm going to end up somewhere else. But actually, maybe it's all right. So hold on to all of my fears gone till I can rely on my own not to brace me. Dear Lord, I hold on to the sinner who's too far gone To the ones who never dreamed of heaven Dear Lord, hold on Thought I knew what to do Thought I'd cruise through life and end up with the sinners Thought it all wasn't touchable Yeah, he was just for the winners Not until the dregs did I feel the dread of coping without you, God I don't want to live another day feeling the same way So hear me pray Hold on till all of my fear's gone Till I can rely on Not to brace me Dear Lord Hold on To the sinner who's too far gone To the ones who never dreamed of heaven Dear Lord Hold on Thought I figured out what it's all about Yeah, it was coming together Then a little creeping doubt starts to sprout And suddenly I'm a beginner Now I know it's just an ebb and flow And I don't need to let it all go Just to find you guys I don't want to live another day Feeling nice and way So let me pray And I know I'm imperfect At the end of the day But that's what has me Holding on to everything that you say Cause I believe you love me That's exactly why I pray To feel your grace On the heaven days Oh, hold on till all of my fear's gone, till I can rely on my heart not to brace me. Oh Lord, I want on to the sinner who's too far gone To the ones who never dreamed of ever Dear Lord, I want on to the sinner who's too far gone To the ones who never dream Dear Lord, oh Lord Oh Lord, oh Lord Just a reminder, I'd love you to rate and subscribe to the podcast and pass this on to a friend so it can be discovered by other people. Thank you.