All right, Smodjo in the morning. Anna says that people are treating her differently after the conversation that we had on the air the other day. By the way, that conversation was about as real as I've ever seen on this radio show. And I wanna hear what's going on. You feel like people are, what are they doing to you? I don't know. I've never dealt with like a death so, that felt so close to me. So I haven't experienced how people try to help you through like a hard time like this. And one of my biggest frustrations right now is that like I just feel different and I don't know why. Like I just, I don't know, everything's different. And I don't know why it is like I post on, I'm supposed to be posting on social media every day. I don't wanna post just weird things like that. And one of the things that is also making me feel different is how some of my friends are treating me and I don't really know how to approach the conversation because I know that everything they're doing is trying to be so helpful and I'm so appreciative of it. But some people I feel like are just babying me and that almost makes me think about why I'm sad again. So for example, one of my friends, I love him so much but he's texting me like, did you eat breakfast? Did you go to church? Did you smoke? Because he knows that smoking calms me down. And these are like texts that I'm getting every couple of hours and I'm like, I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. Like I can take care of myself, I think. Let me, if you don't mind, let me recap. I don't, I feel like you need to recap cause I know it might be tougher for you to talk about this, but you missed a phone call from a friend and that friend ended up dying. You talked about this on the air, you can go back and listen to the podcast. So you're saying that this friend of yours is checking in on you to make sure you're okay? Yeah, different. For like yesterday I walked into a meeting with a bunch of salespeople and like instantly everyone gets quiet. No one says anything. And then all of a sudden it's, we're so sorry, everyone's hugging me and like, thank you, I get it. Thank you so much. But this is making me remember why I'm sad in the first place. Like I just want, I just want to be normal. Well, come over here a second, just punch you right in the nose. I think a lot of people struggle, struggle when somebody close to them is grieving though. I know I'm this way. I don't know what to do. Am I doing too much? Am I doing too little? Like I am not great. Like, have you are so great with words of comfort? I'm not good with that stuff, but I feel like my friend Ashley is so good because whenever I'm in a situation where I'm sad or I'm struggling with something, she will just come and be. And be with me. Not give me a lecture, not say anything, like just come and do normal things and just be close. And that to me is really helpful instead of like, do you need me to drop off food? Did you smoke? Did you eat? Did you drink in a flutter today? Did you make sure you getting like, that is well-intentioned, but like you said, it can get really overwhelming. I definitely feel that way. You know what somebody told, and they did for Chelsea when Chels went through ovarian cancer. They brought a grapes. I remember that. They did, I remember that. It's the perfect thing. It was a couple of her friends did this and it made Chelsea and I rethink how we're gonna be with others, you know, and maybe we should do this with you. They would just send things to the house. They wouldn't call and say, what can I do for you? Or can I do something like this? They would just send things like randomly out of the blue, we would get food that would be just delivered to the house. And it would be a Tupperware container. There's something that they made and they dropped it off and said, here for whenever you want it, whatever you want to do with it, if you don't want it, do whatever. And it was, it's amazing. And I think sometimes that what that does is, it lets you just be, let you heal through what you're healing with. But I do think it's nice that their friends are checking in on you. For sure. It's just almost overwhelming that I have to answer all these texts and questions about my well-being. When you first started talking a moment ago, you kinda said that you didn't fully, you're not able to fully articulate how you feel right now. Like you kinda don't know what to do, you're not really doing things that you're normally used to doing, like posting. And I think when you have a friend that goes through something like that, there's a portion of you that changes as well, where you don't know how to support someone in that moment. And like to Shannon's point, sometimes you just like over support. Cause it's like, I want to make sure that they know that I'm here for them and I love them. I want to make sure that they're okay. And you just don't know how to process it. It's a very weird position. Yeah, it's weird for everyone. I also think when you're going through something, your senses are heightened in that you're like, is everybody judging me? What is everybody thinking about me? Like everybody's quiet. I do feel like that happens just very naturally. We're human as well. And normal doesn't feel like enough. Megan, you okay there? You were coughing. I was gonna pick your phone call up. How you doing? Yes, I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. What's up, Megan? I'm doing okay. I just wanted to give a few words of encouragement to Anna as someone whose mom passed away at a young age. I was 14. I'm 31 now, so it's been a while. But it doesn't, I understand when Anna says that she feels like she's changed as a person because I feel like I have never been the same since my mom passed away. But you have to basically turn into the person that you want them to be, that they want you to be, that they know that you are to make them proud. I think in Anna's case, I think it's a little different. I think that it's not that she's changing as a person. She said that people are checking in on her, which is making her even more sad when they're checking in. And I think that's what she's saying is that it's bringing up the loss more and more because I think people are just trying to make sure you're okay. Melissa, what's up? Good morning. I am, I'm very, very deeply moved by this topic and my heart is with your heart. My son was killed overseas just over three years ago. He was in the military and it was just an accident. And the people that just jumped to be with me or that knew what to do, they are an enormous blessing. Those people are just, they're a guest. So we'll be very grateful for that. The people that don't know what to say or say the things that are trait or that maybe do too much, maybe just gently, like, because I know I got angry a couple of times, but just gently nudge them into a, I appreciate what you're saying, but this is not necessarily how I'm going to heal. And we all do have a different past. Some people need the, I'm so sorry's and that this and that that for me, it was the people that just knew me so well, like Shannon was saying, there are people that just know what to say or how to act. And those people are gonna be the ones that are gonna be the foundation for the coming days and weeks and months because this is going to be a process for you. No matter if it is a partner, a child or just a really close friend, we all grieve and we all feel so differently. Wow. And we all grieve really differently. Yeah. And Melissa, thank you for that. And thank you for your son's service. And we appreciate you calling. Thank you guys. You guys are awesome. Some days you make me laugh so hard and some days you make me cry. Yes. Well, you got teared us up when you told us about your son. Appreciate you. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. But yeah, just remember to take your pace and don't be angry at the people that are trying. They just, not everybody is emotionally as intelligent as those people that you're going to rely on. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks so much for the call. Appreciate it. Dawn, what's up Dawn? Last call on this one. What's going on? Well, I had the opposite feeling. How she would feel if no one checked on her? Because when my dad had passed, a few people said, how are you doing? How are you feeling? And then as time went by, no one seemed to check on me. No one seemed to say, how are you doing? Or how are you feeling? And then I felt lonely and the opposite feeling of, I thought nobody cared anymore. Now I realize people just don't know what to say or how to say or so they just avoid you. Yeah, that's an interesting one. Yeah. And sometimes people don't check in with you because they're afraid to, because they don't know how to deal with it. Yeah. I've been there. I definitely see it as a blessing. I don't want, like if my friends are listening to think that I'm mad at them, it's just like, it's not my preferred way of healing, I guess. I'm more what Shannon said, like just send me something to eat, stop asking me if I ate stuff like that. So. How do you think it looks? Oh my God. Hey, what up, Tweet? What up, Tweet? What is with the sunglasses? What's up? For me? I don't know. Sometimes I get like, I saw Kevin. Complacent energy and I need to switch something up. So that's why I put mine on. I saw Kevin all of a sudden wearing sunglasses and I was like, why does Kevin get to wear sunglasses? And I don't get to wear sunglasses. I feel like we're like the Blues Brothers or something in there. Hey! Look at us! Look at us. You Tommy Lee Jones of Blues News? Yeah, we're in the sun. Let's go. What do you think? Let's go. They look good on both of you. I'm not gonna ask Anna how she's doing. I'm just gonna try to make Anna laugh. That's what I'm gonna do. All of a sudden I look up and Kev's wearing like Ray Vance. I had to switch up something, man. What do you got here? What do you think? Bianca, huh? Does this look good on video? I can't see myself. We need some black suits. Who looks tougher? Let's go. We need black suits. We need black suits, man. We need a man in black. What's some other buddy comedies where they have black suits and black shades? Hey, wait, wait, wait. It's the movie, I don't know. Dan Aykroyd? Blues Brothers. Blues Brothers, yeah. Blues Brothers? Why do people wear sunglasses indoors? You can't see crap. I think they look cool.
