Thanks for listening to my call of the day, sponsored by Vibriant Super C Serum, my personal solution. For smoother, more hydrated skin, Super C Serum is a full line of skincare products all in one bottle. Get 37% off plus free shipping by going to Vibriant.com slash Dr. Laura. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24-7 at DrLaura.com. Vito, welcome to the program. Dr. Laura, it's a pleasure speaking to you. I've been listening to you for many, many years and read your books, and thank you for taking my call. Thank you, and you're welcome. What's happening? So, just a little bit of background. I'm 68, soon to be 69. I've been dating a woman who is 69 as well for six years, and I've been thinking about asking her to marry me. Now, I'm a widower. My wife passed away seven years ago, and she's been divorced for many years. We both have children, but they're out of the house, and they're all fine. You've been dating her for more years than you were married? No, no, I was married for... Oh, six years. I thought you said eight. Okay, six years. Okay, so one year after your wife died, you guys started a relationship, and it has stayed a non-marital relationship because? Well, because, you know, well, I think maybe it was just too soon for me to get married. You know, I just need a little time. As well as, so I'm a sailor. I've sailed all my life. I've done a lot of sailing in my lifetime. I have a boat now. And I want to go sailing again, you know. Do you mean day sailing or going around the world What are you talking about Well no like Bahamas and the Caribbean I think we a little bit too old for it to cross oceans although I have done that And I know that you're a big sailor as well, which is kind of cool. But, you know, just sort of like a retirement type of sailing. You know, just go like, you know, like less. So have you taken her sailing? Does she enjoy it? I think she does. Yeah, I mean, we spend a lot of summers, a lot of the summers sailing. She spends a lot of time on my boat during the summertime. And in the wintertime, I go south, and she stays up north. You know, part of the problem is she has this house that she's lived in. She was basically born there. She's lived there all her life. But in order for her to keep this house, she has to keep working. And if she keeps working, she can't go sailing with me, you know. And so she says that she wants to go sailing. She wants to travel. She wants to do things. But at the same time, she's buying furniture for this house. So it gives me sort of mixed signals. And I don't want to live that. We also, because of our age, we have sort of a finite time to do this. There's a certain physicality to traveling by sailboat. so I'm just you know and also we're coming for a six-year anniversary next week so I've been thinking about you know just asking her to marry me because but at the same time I don't want to live there and I'm like right now why don't you just leave it the way it is Well, because I spent a lot of time by myself, you know, and right now I should be in the Bahamas. I know but everything got to be a compromise sir You spent six years in this relationship You guys like each other when you can get together on the boat and the rest of the time not so much It going to have to be a compromise. You are not going to get all the parts that you'd like. No, I understand that, you know, and I'm not sure if I'm willing to make that compromise because I'm spending... Well, what compromise are you willing to make? Well, maybe, you know, spend six months on the boat and six months up north, you know, that kind of thing. I'd be willing to... Okay, so you're willing to give up half the year on the boat. Well, then there's no problem, is there? So why are we talking? Because she's not willing to... She can't phantom a way to give up six months of her not working and selling the house. She would have to either sell the house or... Well, if you were married, do you have enough money to support the two of you? Yes, but not support the boat and the house. So that's the problem. So we can't do both. Well, then I suggest you just keep it the way it is. okay i think that's the best solution yeah just leave it the way it is when she can come sailing with you terrific you know at the same time i i she's not going to be your full-time buddy sorry she has a life same way you have a life that's one of the things about meeting people when we're when we're older everybody's got a life and relatives and things they like to do so i love sailing be no way i want to be on a boat that long no way well it depends on the boat but um no it wouldn depend on the boat at all But you know for just like last winter I spent three months in the Bahamas And I was pretty much by myself. And that kind of just, well, you know. Well, then you're going to have to get some woman who just wants to be on a boat all the time. So start looking around in the Bahamas for some woman who wants to do that. But this one, you can't have that way. What are you doing this winter? No, I don't want to be on a boat that long. I like to get off the boat, come home, and go to my own bed. Yeah, yeah. A lot of people don't understand that. I mean, that's, you know. All right. So I think that's just, we'll just leave it the way it is for now and see what happens. Yeah. Leave it the way it is. Buy her a nice necklace or earrings for the anniversary. Well, I'm taking her away for a nice trip, a nice long weekend, in a nice place. Oh, nice long weekend is good too. By the way, how big is your boat and what kind of boat is it? So it's a 53-foot catch. It's called an Amel Super Maramu. It's a wonderful boat. I actually sailed it from Mystic, Connecticut to Sydney, Australia. Yeah, I would believe that. That's a good size boat. Yeah. Yeah, yes. I still wouldn't live on it. My number, 1-800. 250 feet Maybe I'd consider it for a week My number 1-800 Has a bowling alley Swimming pool that has no sharks on it 1-800-375-2872 If you like this podcast Be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts Or your favorite place to listen to my podcast Of course I'd love if you gave me five stars And be sure to share this podcast With a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.
