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Kay Lee, welcome to the program. Hi Dr. Laura, thank you so much for taking my call. I really appreciate it. You're very welcome. How can I help? So my husband has been in school. We have four boys that are seven and under. He's been in school for three of those years and then decided to do a surgical training on top of it for another two years. Okay, who's earning the money to support the family? He's working also. He's working full time. How does he work and go to med school? Tell me how that's done. He's a nurse practitioner, so he was working as a night nurse in the emergency room, but also going to school to be a nurse practitioner. Then got his path boards, did that, and then also got recruited to do surgeries, which he loves to be a surgical NP, which required another two years of training. So he's done with that. I told him when we started, I was like, don't feel bad. He was the director of nursing before and he was just like, he just hated it. I was like, do what you want. I will take being a husband off your plate for the next like focus because you're working full time and you're going to school like it's a lot. Don't worry about it. I got this. And it's just been, I feel like I don't have it anymore. Oh my god. Woman to woman, what made you have four kids with a guy who's in school? We had already had two when he was in school. And then the other two were one when he had just finished sports and then one was an accident. I was right when he was just done. And I didn't know, we didn't know he was going to be surgery. We were like, oh, he's done. Yay. And then they were like, do you want to do the surgical fellowship? And he said yes. So, oh yeah. So that is what would you like? What would you like him to do? What would you like to do? What are your thoughts? What are your plans? I was just like, for me, I would like kind of my husband back. He's like in a space where he, since he's getting credentialed, he's only working two days a week now and we're kind of seeing more of each other. And I'm, I don't, I'm realizing that I'm trying not to be a bitchy housewife. In other words, I'm like, I just feel like I've been like holding things together by the scenes for the past. Well, you know, in all fairness, that's what you told him you were willing to do. And evidently, it would seem you're doing a good job at it. I know things can feel old. I don't feel like it. But right now you're seeing him more. So why is this the time that you're complaining? Yeah, I just feel burned out. I think, yeah, and I know he's burned out too. And he's just like, we, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I just feel like, yeah, I have a, this is not, this is completely selfish of me, but I just look around and I'm like, Oh my gosh, all these moms have so much help and they're doing like their husbands are home and they're doing things. And it's like, and I think just the comparison of it, of just being like, I've done every single bedtime by myself for a year, you know, like all of the things where it's like, right, I'm just like done, you know, and I don't want to have it in that area. So what would you, what is it you think would make it better for you? What's your idea? I think it would be too cold. Like I just would like to feel hurt by my husband, but I feel like that's really hard because. Okay, that's, that's not something I can work with. Tell me something specifically. He quit school. He doesn't go for the surgery. You're going to have to be concrete. You hire an au pair. You get your mother in the house all the time to help you with the kids. Something concrete. So tell me what your best plan would be. I would like him to get off night shift in the emergency room. And then so I could, so I can like see him and have some help. We don't have like a lot of family help. That would be, that would be ideal. Let's look at that. That's how he's earning money. So where would the money come from? Have any other ideas about that? I would just like him to have a different job. That's the thing. That's where I come back where I'm like, he's making so much and they need our right now while he's getting credentials for surgery. I don't, I just tell me I have to stick it out for a couple more months after for us. Well, if he's, okay, slow down, Kaylee. If he's making good money, you can afford to bring some help into the house. Yeah. So these next three months, we could take a big burden off your back. You take some of that income and you get help. You take care of the kids, somebody else cleans and cooks until this is over. Studio Tour London, the making of Harry Potter. Tickets must be booked in advance. WBstudiotour.co.uk. That's not a failure. What did you just say? That's not a failure on my end. Now saying something stupid is a failure. No, that's not a failure. That's real life and people can only do what they can do and we all burn out at some point when we're overwhelmed and we're not getting fed enough. If you had called me earlier on when all this started, I could have guided you both a little differently, but you were, oh, that's fine. Whatever you want to do, honey. I'll just keep cranking out babies. You just do whatever you need to do. I'll never see you, but I have a photograph. It's all right. Oh my gosh. So true. Okay. So you were a bit over, well, you were young and over ambitious about being a good wife. Literally. No, literally. I feel like my job tripled without just tripling overnight. You Odead it, but it'll be over and then he'll be doing the surgery and you'll have normal lives, hopefully. Amen. That's the plan. So take some money, get some help cooking, cleaning. No, cooking. No, honey, I would tell you, I would say you're a loser in a failure and I hate you hang up. I don't know why it feels like that, but it just doesn't like I can do it because because you were brought up and have the mindset that you have to do 3042% or you're useless. Yeah. Yeah, well, that's, that's a little bit crazy. It's not, I'm just learning if it's not realistic, like I just can't. No, it's not realistic, dear. No. So get off your back, get some help, smile again. Smile again. Be happy. Thank you so much, Dr. Laura. I really appreciate it. You're very welcome. Call me anytime. My number is 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars and be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. It's a 2pm East on SiriusXM Triumph 123 and on the SiriusXM app.
