It's time to get your hands dirty at Lidl's Garden Event, where it's potting and planting week, with all sorts from just $2.49. From walking greenhouses to potting benches. Gardening might just grow on you. Lidl, more to value. While Stocks Last selected store's GP-only install from the 12th of the 3rd, 26th. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day, bonkers by Vibrian Super-C Serum, my personal solution for smoother, more hydrated skin. Super-C Serum is a whole line of skincare products all in one model. Get 37% off plus free shipping by going to Vibrians.com slash Dr. Laura. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM Triumph and connect with me 24-7 at DrLaura.com. Kimberly, welcome to the program. Thank you for having me on. Thank you. I'm here. How can I help you? Yes, I'm calling because I've been married. We've been married 37 years. 37? Wow. No, not 37. No, not 37. Well, this time around, 27 years, but we've been totaled 30, let's say 35, on the right side, 35. And it's just been on and off. Well, I don't know. Then why is it 35 years? Because we were married. We were married six. We were married first time. I know, but why is it 35 years with continuous infidelities? Because his reason is because... No, what's your reason? My reason is no self-love, no self-worth. Just hoping for the... Oh, God. I don't believe in self-love. And the only worth we see in ourselves is that which we earn. Nice excuses, though. Poppsike nonsense. It's Poppsike nonsense. Come on. No self-love. What the hell does that mean? Who loves themselves? I don't love myself. I'm impressed with me, but I don't love me. I love my dogs. I love my friends. I don't know what you're talking about. Self-worth? A worth something? Because... I don't value myself enough to keep allowing it to happen. That doesn't mean anything. That doesn't mean anything. I don't value myself. Now, you're afraid to be out on your own. You're dependent on him. You're emotionally dependent on him. Emotionally, but I... You tolerate this stuff because... You tolerate... Okay. Okay, well, I don't know how to tell you to get self-love. And I don't know at this late age how to tell you to have self-worth. So if those are the two criteria, you're screwed. Did you pass the outer hang up? So I'm still here. Oh, you're screwed. I can't help you, because you've determined that those are the two reasons women stay in shitty marriages. I'm sorry. You're not going to start loving yourself today, and you're not. And how are you going to gain self-worth? How does it... I have no idea how to tell you to get that. It's not on Amazon Prime or otherwise. Well, that's true. I don't know what the answer is, why I've been dealing with this and there's no other answer I would have. Lazy and frightened. The good news about lazy and frightened is those are two things we can face. The two you have, there's nothing I can do about that. You're screwed. Okay. So lazy and scared to be on your own, those are potential challenges that could improve your life. But most people are scared of the unknown. They'd rather have the crappy known than the scary unknown. That's kind of human nature. I don't agree with lazy, because that's not me. Yeah, you're lazy with respect to this, not on other things. You're probably a very good worker at so many things, but they don't give you self-love and they don't give you a sense of worth. So who cares about them? So whatever you're not lazy about and whatever you're very competent about has been useless in your personal life. It's sad. You'd think a good job and doing things well where people could count on you would give you more self-worth, but I guess that doesn't work that well. How does anybody get self-worth then? I have no clue. How do you do that? Kimberly, I'm asking you a question. How does anybody do that? I don't know. I don't have an answer to that. You missed out on that and if you think it's built into the DNA or not? I don't think it's built into the DNA. I think it's something that you learn along the way. I don't think it's built into the DNA. No, I don't think that. So if you haven't learned it along the way, does along the way include your age? Does it include what? I'm sorry. Your age. Stop fiddling with whatever you're doing. Pay attention to yourself. No. So once you haven't learned that along the way, it's curtains? Well, obviously not because I'm still in it. So it happens and not curtains. I didn't mean death, but I mean staying in a crappy situation. No, I know what you meant. That's what I'm answering. I don't have an answer to that. Can you learn to love yourself? Yes. Whatever that means. Well, how can you go about it? Tell me because I don't know. Seriously, not being a smartie. Stop allowing it. I don't know. Stop allowing the things that I have been allowing that go, that have been going on for this long and using allowing the excuse to come with it. I don't have time to wait for you to heal. So I'm just going to move on to the next person. You know, stop allowing that. Yeah. Okay. Well, then you do have the answer. Get out of the marriage. You'll have tons of self-love. You're right. And that was the point I often make that in terms of self-esteem, we earn it by watching ourselves be brave. You have not seen you be brave. You've taken shit for most of your life, which is a waste of life because you don't get this time back. You don't. Five seconds before you're dead, you're not going to be able to press a button and start out at 25 again. You're wasting time of life. You're not getting it back and you're getting older. More than half your life is over. What the hell are you going to do? Just keep doing this and then die between now and dead. This is it. Absolutely not. Well, then you have to make a plan. You can't run on emotion. You can't say what'll motivate me. You can't say, then I'll have esteem. You have to say, this is not the life I want to live between today and dead. And then you have to come up with a plan like a financial person, a legal person, a place to live, support from friends and family. You'll have to make a plan. And that's where most people fall off the edge of the earth. They don't make a plan and just keep complaining for the rest of their lives until five minutes before they die and they go, oh shit. It was worth it to be scared for a while. It was worth it to be uncomfortable for a while because the quality of the rest of my life was better. I'm proud of myself. That would be the plan. Very true. So you've got thinking to do. Don't wait for a feeling to overcome you called. Self love or self value or any of the other stuff you came up with. You're not going to have any of that until you earn it. I understand and thank you. You're very welcome and call me back anytime if you want to rehash this. 1-800-375-2872 If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars and be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.
