Surviving An Ice Storm | Your Mom's House Ep. 844

Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. upset fort. Hi, welcome to your mom's house. I'm so upset because there's storm watches happening, Tim, and you're in LA. Do you know that the big snow is coming? I know it's coming. I've seen it on the news. Yeah, but everything's set up for you guys, right? Everybody's hoarding food and toilet paper, but I've stocked up on, I bought lots of cinnamon rolls for the kids and wine. That's all I have in the house. The kids love wine. The kids love wine. I love it. All they need is cinnamon rolls and alcohol. And then secondly... They don't need water. They don't need water. Secondly, I'm so fucking stoked that you're not here. I have a cold sore. I know. Here's the thing, though. I used Christina P.'s liquid lipstick to cover up my cold sore. So if you have a cold sore, this is the way to go. When your cold sore comes back, do you close your eyes and you remember which penis it was from your past that gave it to you? Do you go like, that dirty, rotten penis? I think I might. Yeah. I feel like the dirtiest. Like when you have a cold sore, you feel like the dirtiest, filthiest whore that ever lived. And I hate myself. Right. So do you remember the one who gave it to you? I think I do. I think I know which dick it was. I think I do. Very young. I was very young. But then I got mono, and I'm not sure who I got that from. I mean, do you remember every STD you've ever gotten? Well, you're probably getting passed around, yeah. It's kind of tough when you're like, well, I had a train run on me last night. I don't know. One of them, I guess. It's more like a city name, right? Have you ever even had a cold sore? That's how you did it. You're like Stockton. Stockton. I don't even think you have. If you don't remember, then you haven't because they're so traumatic, and you hate yourself so much. Yeah, no, then I haven't. You're right. I have not. I have not. So embarrassing. But like I said, my Christina P. liquid lipstick covers cold sores up the best. So if you want to cover up that dirty whore cold sore, buy my lipstick now. In time for Valentine's Day. That's true, man. The Cuts You Up is made specifically for camouflaging herpes cold sores on your face. Get it now. Order now. In time for Valentine's. It's a great message, dude. It's a great message. We should talk about this winter weather coming up. Oh, my God. And there's a lot to go over, but let's see. No, I know. I just got so excited to see you. Just as you are to see me. I can see it's mutual, the feeling. Let's start the show. It's the first time I've talked to him in like a week. Since we last did the show, literally so busy. I talked to him for five minutes. This is the longest I've seen you. And you're like, burp. Did you see that relationship? Everything happens for a reason. Okay, go do your fucking thing. To every fucking person out there, don't ever fucking play with me again. I'm telling you right now, don't ever fucking play with me. Because I'm telling you right now, I'm telling you right the fuck now, don't ever fucking play with my shit again. Because if you ever fucking come in and think you fucking know something, I'm going to show you what the fuck is up. Yeah, dude. Come on, bring it in, Connor. Show them what it is. Right the fuck here. Guess what the fuck that is? That's my fucking diamonds, baby. That's 3K right there. If I ever fucking need the money or if I ever need to come with the fuck up, I'll go use every fucking asset. Who is Randy? Fuck you, Connor. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Mom Segura. And Christina Pizzicino. Welcome to your mom's house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so much going on in this video. Well, I'm not sure you understand. You shouldn't. But, I mean, first of all, there's the message. He's like, bring that shit. No one ever fuck with me. And then he calls out Connor. And then he's like, I got my fucking diamonds here. And then there's like, is this room, is he eight feet tall or is this room five foot ten? It's like there's coolers and paint and an electric fireplace. That's the good one. It also kind of looks like a gay porn's about to start. like the the quality of the angle and and his build it looks like he's probably tried things like it's all there and then you're like okay i don't know what's going on and then the second part and guess what what my mother fucking knows it because of this that's real fucking diamonds motherfucker what's up if i ever fucking need my money i'm gonna go right to my mother and take that bitch right off her neck and she's gonna give it to me that's telling you right now that's why i know my mother and i are good because she gave me this fucking piece right here back i asked for it mom i need the fucking cash would you give me that boom took that bitch right off come on tell me right now i'm gonna tell you right now i'm gonna shock the fucking world you get the fuck out of my face don't you fucking ever come to play and i'm gonna go give that back right to I'm going to go put that fucking 3K right back on her neck. Watch. Fucking watch. I'm so baffled because I also want to know what did Connor say? Did Connor say like there's no way you could steal some shit from your mom? Or like you don't have any money? Or there's no way you could pay for something? It feels like he felt threatened or challenged about either what he has or his access to money or his relationship with his mom. I don't know. It sounds to me, I agree, what's the debate here? And it feels like it's a mom flex. I feel like he's flexing about the quality of his relationship with his mother. He's like, dude, I fucking was like, I need $300. Give me your necklace. Or $3,000. I don't get it. He showed that shit like anyone would be impressed with that necklace. I know. Okay. That is not a necklace that you go, oh, Jesus. But he showed it to him. He was like, look at this fucking shit. Then he was like, I snagged that. At first, I thought he robbed his mom. Yeah. And then in the end, he's like, I'm going to go give it right back to her. But I was like, yo, let me hold that. She was like, cool. I mean, like, here, it deserves a second watch. He's like, my mommy trusts me? Is that what this is? You know what? Let's all watch this again. One more time. Because there's so much here. To every fucking person out there, don't ever fucking play with me again. I'm telling you right now, don't ever fucking play with me. I'm not a dude. No one's playing with you. First of all, it's to everyone out there, don't ever fuck with me. I'm telling you right now. I'm telling you right the fuck now, don't ever fucking play with my shit again. Because if you ever fucking come in and think you fucking know something, I'm going to show you what the fuck is up. That was awesome. That was like. Yes. That was a real explosive message. If you were doing a monologue, I'd be like, that part was great. He's like, I'll show you what the fuck is up. I've been watching a lot of casting tapes. I was going to say. It does. It feels like an actual movie. It's really authentically him. Yeah. Yeah. So right now, though, the only thing we know so far from this copy is everybody out there, don't ever think you can fuck with me. And if you do think you can fuck me, I'll show everybody what's up. So I have no idea where we're going yet. Also, Tom, might I also add? That he's an underground bunker. But he's also showing you, like you pointed out, all the items that he has. Those are all his items. I have a bunch of shit. I have a certificate from a college. I have a lamp that I can take outside. I have paint. I have a cooler. I have a smaller cooler. I have a third cooler. I have a Rob Ross painting. I have a bunch of cold drinks. I have a Rob Ross painting. A lantern. I have a miniature Christmas tree. I have a thing that looks like a fireplace but is just decorative. I have, yeah, there's all kinds of shit and all this shit is mine he's letting you know that's really what everybody wants to do in this world is go, this shit is mine not everybody, I don't, I'm the opposite I want to be like, don't look at my stuff because you're going to like it and steal it from me I have the communist mentality that's still a version of I have my shit don't look at my stuff, please don't look at my stuff, yeah bring it in, Connor, show them what it is so then, maybe Connor was like I don't believe you have any shit. I don't believe you have any coolers and I don't believe you have any lamps and I don't believe you have any paintings. And then he's like, bring it in, fucker. Check this out. Right the fuck here. That's what the fuck that is. That's my fucking diamonds, baby. That's 3K right there. Connor was like, you don't have $3,000 in diamonds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, yes, I do, dude. My mommy gave it to me. You don't have diamonds. Yeah. Because he's like, those are my diamonds. Which is, it's like, when you say I have diamonds, it usually implies you have like loose diamonds, right? Oh, okay. If you have a diamond bracelet, you wouldn't say I have diamonds. You'd say I have a diamond bracelet, right? Oh. I have diamond earrings. Someone who goes, I have diamonds, you're implying that you have a bunch of diamonds. He's saying that I have a lot of cash assets. He's like, I got liquid assets on deck crew. So I wonder what Connor said to him. He's like, you have money. You have cash. How the fuck are you going to pay for this motorcycle? Right? Like, it's $2,800. He wants definitely. That's definitely this guy's want. It's a dirt bike. Like a dirt bike. A jet ski. It's something so stupid, for sure. It's not rent. For sure. No, fuck no, it's not rent. If I ever fucking need the money or if I ever need to come with the fuck up, I'll go use every fucking asset. And guess what? Look at all my shit here. Look at my room of assets. Look at this shit. That's what he's saying. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he's saying. We've teamed up with DraftKings Sportsbook just in time for the big game. Whether you're a diehard fan or just phoning it in, DraftKings is the best way to place your bets and leave the party with more than having watched grown men throw a ball for four hours. All it takes is $5 to get $300 in bonus bets if your bet wins. You can even use those bonus bets on same-game parlays or bet live during the game on things like if someone will score, how far they can run, and what color the Gatorade they dump on the coach will be. DraftKings makes it simple enough that you can have some skin in the game, even if you're just there to post up in the kitchen and put down some dips. And if sports betting isn't available in your state yet, you can still get in on the action with DraftKings Picks 6 and compete for cash prizes. Here's the deal. New customers turn $5 into $300. 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Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral, minoxidil, and finasteride. my mother fucking knows it my mother fucking knows it oh my mother my mother knows it correct that's real fucking diamonds real diamonds I mean I can't even make out that that is diamonds like he's holding that up if he had said nothing I'd be like I see you have a silver pendant I don't understand if I ever fucking need my money I'm gonna go right to my mother and take that bitch right off her neck well this is part of the messaging that I'm confusing. Because at first you're like, oh, my mom gave me this? And then he's like, if I ever need money, I will steal this right off of my mom's neck. So does his mom wear that every day? I think the flex... And then he was like... The flex is like... Because then his mom's willing to give it to him. Yeah. He doesn't have to... He's not going to rob his mom. But his mommy loves him so much that his mommy will give him the necklace. Like, my mommy loves me so much, bro. She'd give me $3,000 of diamonds. Tony. I could see our youngest doing a video like this. My youngest. This is our kid. God, don't even. Yeah, our kid being like, you don't think I can fucking do it? If I need shit, I'll steal it off of my mom. Oh, my God, don't even. She's going to give it to me. She's going to give it to me. That's why I know. Yeah, but he just said I'd take that shit off of her neck. And now he's like, she'll give it to me. He's just fired up. Yeah, he's trying to be like, bitch. She just loves me so much. My mommy just gives me what I want. I wish he said mommy. That's what this sounds like. This sounds like a toddler. I was talking to my mommy last night. And I was like, mommy, I need that fucking diamond necklace you fucking wear. My mommy said, yeah, come get this shit. That's his argument. That's literally because she gave me this fucking piece right here. Back. Mother and I are good. I asked for it. Mom, I need the fucking cash. Would you give me that? Boom. Took that bitch right off. Come on. Tell me right now. I'm going to tell you right now. I'm going to shock the fucking world. Get the fuck out of my face. Don't even fucking ever come to play. And I'm going to go give that back right to her. I'm going to go put that fucking 3K right back on her neck. Watch. Fucking watch. I'm lost. Then the flex becomes that I can get this, but I'm not going to do that to my mother. I'm going to give it back to her. But if I need it, she will give it to me. Oh. He's like, I'm a good son. I'm not keeping it. But I'm just showing you that I can get it from her if I need it. Got it. You don't think I'm going to be on a dirt bike soon? Watch. Yeah. Where did you find this video, dude? Where did you guys find this? Please tell me. I thought this was one you sent in. Did you not send this in? I don't know. I send a lot in. I think you sent this in. Yeah. That's amazing. So this is, can somebody see, is this guy, is it from his account or is it from like a... No, that's from his account. It's from his Instagram page. Wow. Yeah, it's really wild. Let's go in, let's, yeah, go ahead. Can I tell you my theory? Connor Pearson, hold on. Being Earth-oriented, as I ride my smoothest line, I have yet to write my greatest lines to be continued. I don't know what the fuck that means. I think... I don't know, that's a... Oh, he's a gamer. he's like you don't think i have a fucking new ps5 vr2 headset motherfucker oh maggie brown oh boy please say oh this is this is okay i now the picture is clear okay i think can i tell you my theory with connor oh he's gaming all the time oh i thought he was a tweaker and maybe like he stolen money from his mom before but now she trusts him again Oh there it is You can see it up close now Scroll up a little bit Right up right above Psalm 23 That's a diamond. Yeah, the diamond necklace. Let's see. You need to contact me immediately. I call on you to come back. Bring my diamonds back home now. Oh, you will understand. You will understand. Yeah. Wait a minute. His name is Connor? Yeah. I thought he called out Connor. I think he was like hyping himself up. Like, fuck yeah, Connor. Well, I mean, now I'm... Did he challenge himself to get the diamonds? I don't understand. What's that writing behind his head there? Did he make his posters? What is going on? Once we're quoting the Bible, that's... Write common. Schizophrenia. smoke check yourself before you comment again. That was not the right comment. There are a lot of dark angels. What's not the right comment? To everyone of my friends in that friends in that area you're done. Oh shit. Whoa. He just lost a bunch of friends, dude. He was like no longer. There's that diamond necklace. Oh yeah. Next time someone Want to add some dumb shit Just so you know Just so you know I can go to the FBI I can go to the FBI I can go to DEA DEA? I can go to everyone and swipe everybody out From under the table Damn dude Guys with that kind of access are dangerous He is dangerous And he's doing his shirtless to show you that he's physically dangerous Yeah he's physically fit too What's these notes? These notes are something. These notes are something. And who's the woman? This is interesting. This is a new character. Just go somewhere else. Is that mom? This is my kitchen. I have every right to be here. You don't want to be here? Then you go somewhere else. Mom, you're screaming, you're yelling, you're making just a knock. You just came in screaming and yelling. Because my gas and electric doubled because of you. I'm sorry that you feel that way. Okay. It's not that I feel that way. It's a fact. And I'll be bringing it up in court. Thank you, Mom. Can you just leave me alone? I'm just trying to have some cup of coffee and relax. Go ahead and go somewhere else then. Go in your room. Mom, can we have a heart-to-heart talk? Mom, Mom. Can we have a heart-to-heart talk? It's me with your kids. Mom, what? Mom. I think you should go get tested for dementia. I think you should get tested for mental health issues I will A lot of people are saying that, Connor Mom, I will if you can get tested too Sure You'll go get tested to go get dementia? If you get tested for mental health That's fine Alright But you gotta get tested for mental health And Katrina's gotta be here And Katrina Katrina, I gotta have a conversation with my own sister Without you being there Is that okay with you? You have to agree to that. Such a good train of... Hi, baby. No, I just want to make sure. Two more weeks, Connor. Woo-hoo! Two more weeks. Now it makes sense. This has got so much... I love, by the way, that the top comment on this is, invested in this since the start. People are following... That is such... This is great. This is such a great find. No, babe, this is a premise for a sitcom. This is brilliant. like the the single mom so this guy yeah single mom with an adult child who by the way i think we all understand that if we get it if they get tested one of them's going to come up positive and i think we know which one it is we know it's not katrina and it ain't mom wow wow now it makes So it says, bro, bro is avoiding financial responsibility of why the utility has gone up. Yes, you may want coffee, but at the end of the day, we all have consequences of our actions. So he's not paying his bills. Hence the video of like, I can afford this. Well, you can't pay bills. You can't pay bills if you don't have income. Yeah, somebody basically was like, you're broke. That's what it is. Someone was like, you're broke. He's like, I'm broke. I just fucking got this diamond necklace from my mom's neck. And I can sell it if I want to. Yeah. To pay her back for the utilities on her house. And this room is definitely a collection of his assets. It is definitely what's going on. The way he's positioned, the cooler. He's definitely into that dirt bike. I think he might be a lake guy, though, because I see the beer cooler and fishing. There's three coolers there, Ben. There's three. I also love that she goes, my utilities have doubled since he's lived here. He goes, I'm sorry you feel that way. She's like, I don't feel that way. It's a fact. I'm sorry you feel like your bills have gone up since I've come around. What's the YouTube page like? Oh, man. Yeah, he's definitely... Connor. Holy... Oh, it's maybe reposting all those same things. Oh, boy. Connor. Yeah, those are like a lot of the same videos. Well, there's more, though. Fuck. Wait, scroll up. Oh, fuck. Scroll up a little bit. Oh, my life. I saw more. I got a PSP with Star Wars Battlefront, too. Yeah, so he's like posting about his games, I think. Is that what he's doing? What's that everyone is racist clip? Oh, yeah. Oh. Now we're cooking. Hey, fuck out of you, little baby-ass bitch. I'm going to say something right now. I support only white businesses, bitch. Because if you only, if black people and Mexicans and every other fucking race can support just their racist business, right? Yeah. Fuck out of here. I ain't fucking shopping with you guys. Fuck out of here. I ain't shopping with that shit. So America's got to come to the reality that if you're a black-owned business supporting just black people, fuck out of here. If you're a Mexican-owned business and you support just Mexicans, fuck out of here. I don't give a fuck about you guys because you guys are racist. I know because I grew up around fucking black people. Okay. Everyone's fucking racist. Get that through your fucking mind. I'm so confused. Is it me or did the argument completely flip flop? Like at first he was like the races should just deal with the races. And then at the end he's like the races should buy it from all the races. I'm not sure. No. What's the argument? Yeah, he's pretty much saying that he doesn't support the idea that some, usually minorities who are struggling to get a business going go, support your own. Oh, yeah. If you're black, go to black-owned businesses. Or if you're Korean, support Korean businesses. He's like, I don't fuck with that shit, so I'm going to support white-owned businesses only. Yeah, yeah. Connor is just, and he's got more shit behind him in that video. Did you notice how the shit increased? Yeah, I liked that he had a flag hanging. A flag. There's a fucking more artwork behind him. This time of year often means wanting to eat better but lacking the time to do so. That's where Factor comes in. Forget the meal prep and following recipes. We are huge fans of eating with Factor at the office. These meals come prepackaged. They're all prepared. All you have to do is heat them up. They taste delicious. With Factor, certified dieticians and chefs take care of the work for you. 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I'm Dr. Christina Chen, a geriatrician at Mayo Clinic and host of Aging Forward, a podcast highlighting unique topics in geriatric medicine and the science of healthy aging, helping all of us live longer and fuller lives. Whether you're a caregiver for someone or learning how to care for your own health, We're here to help you feel informed, inspired, and empowered. Mayo Clinics Aging Forward. New episodes every other week, wherever you get your podcasts. By the way, speaking of races, let me tell you something. Eni? Eni, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What's up? I was so impressed that I have to do this remote setup. and this guy off his dome can be like, go look for this button to set this stuff up. It's really impressive. I really appreciate that. I don't think that has anything to do with my race. No, I was just going to say that you're like a wizard clown. Oh, great. Just unbelievable high level. Yeah. Really nice of you, Tom. I'm really glad you said that. I was just really impressed. I was just saying that I was impressed with you. I appreciate that, Tom. Thanks, boss. Boss of the company I was for. I was really just impressed, dude. You know that he just turned 35? No, no, 40. No, you're lying. I can't believe anything. Did you really turn 40? Yes. Are you kidding? Solo. Big 4-0. Is he lying? 40. Solo. Black don't crack. You're 40? Big 4-0, baby. You look great. You look great. You look great. Thank you, thank you. No way. I know. Wow, those black people, they never. Do you remember that, like, there was like a couple month period we were like, guess what I did? I ate real food. You're like, I feel so good. Yeah. I haven't. Yeah, that was cool. Horrible time. Yeah. So you're not on that anymore, are you? Hell no. Sludge life. How often are you eating and what are you eating? I'm eating, I mean, usually once a day and probably the most unhealthy thing you could possibly think of. I'm probably eating that. Chick-fil-A. Pizza. Pizza. In-N-Out. Wings. Perfect. No, now is the time to really ramp that behavior up. When you turn 40, stop exercising. Start eating garbage because it only gets better from here. I was going to say, it only gets easier. the um the the older you get shit just works better yeah you don't have to do anything it's just so much easier I mean you know you always hear about uh people were eating healthy their whole life and they still like you know fucking died at 50 and shit there is but you hear that person yeah you hear the person that was smoking one cig a day for fucking 180 years and they're still alive and that's gonna be me it is true just don't stop just don't stop that's the key He does smoke cigarettes, too. They always say that doesn't matter. There's videos of these people that are over 100, and they always do a local news article, you know? Yeah. Like a visit from the news station. And they'll be like, what's your secret? And the person will be like, I ate ice cream. Yeah. Every day. Every day. Yeah. And you're like, okay. So it is somebody who's like an anomaly. There is no. So here's the secret is genetics. That's the secret. That's the big secret. I don't I just think like when I I've had my cancer doctors tell me like there are people like you just said they don't smoke a day in their life and they die of lung cancer. And then there's. Well, I will say this, like the one of the best longevity experts in the world is Peter Atiyah. Yeah. And he said the biggest indicator of your presumed longevity, your mortality on Earth, is not your, if you're a smoker, not your blood work. It's your VO2 max and your, yeah. What's VO2 max? So VO2 max is like your body's capacity to intake oxygen and process. So it's really an indicator of your cardiovascular, your cardio level. So if you can run a six, seven-minute mile, your VO2 max is probably pretty high. You can do it yourself without getting the mask. You can do a thing called a Cooper test, which is you run on a flat surface for 12 miles. You take how long that is. You convert it. you can see you can google the chart you can find out what your vo2 max is that and like grip strength are greatest indicators of how long you'll live i bet you any's is actually pretty i don't know how your cardio is you think you can run can you run pretty fast or no well i mean i can run fast but not for long definitely not that's the whole thing though how long can you run fast for can you run can how fast can you run a mile you think i mean i have not i haven't ran a mile since high school. I don't know. I'd have to train. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. But I bet your grip strength is good. Yeah, that's for sure. That one's good. I would just say keep fucking smoking, man. That's what you got to do. Dial it up. Just keep the path. As soon as you change, it's like getting a new engine in a car. Everything else fucks up. Just keep doing what you're doing. That's right. My dad is a cockroach. Your mother is a cockroach. And these people have done nothing good for their health their entire lives. And now in their 80s, totally fine totally alive mom's my mom makes up her ailments she's like oh i know it's all i'm declining now i'm scared to walk but you're scared to walk she's like my legs i'm scared they will give out i'm like uh-huh okay we didn't even talk about do we talk about how i went to the er with her like two weeks ago no no she well you called me you're like i think my mom's having a stroke, get over there. And I was like, oh. They called me, I'm in L.A., and I was like, I go, there was a lady at the house, like, helping my mom out, and then she puts her on the phone, and my mom was like, tell me I'm okay. And I go, you don't sound okay. She's like, it would pass in a moment. And I go, Mom, what are you talking about? I go, just call 911. She was like, no, it will pass, it will pass. And it, like, hangs up. I'm like, okay, so I call back and the lady's like, what should I do? I go, call 911. What is going on? This makes no sense. Just do it, dude. Yeah. And so she did and then I called you and you're like, yes, I'll run over there. Yeah, so I'm over there and the lady that's taking care of your mom is so frantic. I don't even think I told you that. She was in, like, whenever there's an emergency, Latin ladies can't hold it down. I feel like they go into full IDEO. Stop panicking. Just fucking get your shit together. Let's go, dude. Yeah, and then we went to the hospital, and then they thought she was having a heart attack at first. And then he's like, hmm, she's just dehydrated. I'm like, what? Yeah, and that was it. Four hours later, they're like, your mom's dehydrated. Great, thank you for that. Paramedics and everything. I didn't tell you what the follow-up was when I talked to her about it. I was like, so what does that tell you? I go, what does that tell you? All this was because you're dehydrated. She goes, but the thing is, Tommy, I hate water. Yeah. And I go, could you get like a liquid IV pack and flavor your water? She's like, that's a great idea. Of course, I'm sure she's never done it. Yeah. No. Or I was like crystal light. Do you remember that from the 80s? You could put that in your tang. Yeah. Anything. They were both like that, by the way, too. My dad, my fucking dad, rest in peace, was like, hey, I hate water. I just don't like it, how it tastes. I'm like, it's not supposed to have a fucking taste. It's water. He's like, yeah, I don't like it. And he would do this. He would do this. I would go, bro, you have to drink some more water. So I'd give him one of these, and he'd go, and then he'd put it down. And then like half an hour later, I'd go, you need to drink water. He goes, I did. I go, you had a sip. You supposed to drink like fucking six of those a day And he like when I was in high school and growing up all the time he would come home from work and he would always go on a run We lived in Florida. So it'd be fucking 95 degrees outside. Yeah. He'd go on a run, come back, you know, soaking wet, walk in like in his soaking t-shirt, open the fridge, grab a Diet Coke. Oh, yeah. That would be his, how he would replenish from the run. Yeah. Diet Coke. And when he would come to visit us, I would stock the house with caffeine-free Diet Cokes. Because if you didn't. I'd have to hear about it. I need Diet Cokes. I was real thoughtful of you guys. If you can go get some Diet Cokes. Okay. Okay. Yeah, my father never drinks water. I don't think I've ever seen him drink a glass of water or eat a salad in his entire life. That's so insane. He drinks Fresca. That's all he'll drink is Fresca. I'm like, how do you find Fresca? Four hours of tennis. He's like, let me get a Fresca. Or alcohol. Beer. What are you talking about? Beer. How did your dad do Vietnam? He's in the jungle. You guys got Diet Coke out here? Yeah. I don't know, man. It's a great point because wouldn't they just be perpetually dehydrated? Yeah, in the jungle. They're in the jungle. and you're terrified, so you're sweating more. You have bullets flying over your head. Hey, guys, stay hydrated. You guys got Diane Coe? Totally. Crazy. Totally crazy. Here, let's switch this up. That's how it is. Oh, shit. You had to video this one, huh? Oh. Oh. Oh. 9-1-1, dude. That was his upload. Just that? That was it. That was his video. Oh. God. Hold on. Okay, so this is Patrick Dunsbury. He stands 5'5". Shit. He's in his 60s. this is Patrick Hockett Belugi. He also uploads videos of himself arguing with people in the comments but never references or tags the person he's responding to. It says why? No reason why he does this. He does have a drinking problem. He was arrested two years ago for public intoxication. Can we go to his page real quick? Oh, my God. Oh, that's a cool account. That's a cool account title. That's his profile name. Can you scroll up to the top? Hey, hit me up on Instagram. I'm P80233721, gmail.com, underscore, KOTV, underscore. Get me a follow. Youth college, four years, for Music Guitar Institute of Technology in Hollywood for four years, done the rest, look where it's got me now. Oh, yeah, fucking Hollywood. Let's see some of these videos, man. I'm kind of interested. I mean, the first one was really cool. Yeah, find a guitar pick. Okay. But I guess we don't really need one of those, do we? No. No, you can play guitar without a pick. It's not even played then. Oh, shit. Okay. Let's go to the next one. Tear. Get up here, God damn it. Get up. Get up. Come on. I need it over here. Come on. I know what that apartment smells like. What do you think it smells like? That dog. You don't think it smells like the trash bag hanging off the wall? My little sister. Let's go to the next one. Let's see what else he's got. Swag grit. He's got a joint. That's a joint. That's cool. Good for him. I'm down with that, dude. That's the best part of his day. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, bro. Yeah, bro. Let's see if we get him. Can you find him maybe? Yeah, maybe talking there. Let's see what he's who he's. Oh, no sound. Perfect. Oh, yeah. The mattress. The back of my bed. It's not a headboard. women I've been with wouldn't get black eyes, me bouncing them off that thing. That's for the women's comfort, man. They still get buck knots. You know, there's no knots in the back of their hair. We've been screwing them all night. Put that mattress in the back instead of a headboard or a backboard. That's for the women's comfort. So they don't get fucking black eyes and bruised foreheads. We bounce them off the son of a bitch. Oh, yeah. That's pretty thoughtful. So he's saying that there's a mattress where the headboard would be, and it's for your protection. So if you were with him, for instance, Christina, if you were with him, your head and your face would get protection. I feel sick. I went from amused to violently. I feel so ill. Could you imagine him? yeah you know what's sad what's really making me genuinely sad is that because yeah like Gen X we're the last generation to be clueless about technology so we're going to lose this valuable art in the next generation yeah like this is it it sucks the video without sound was awesome I know. Like a millennial is not going to do that when they're 60. They're going to know. We should be saving these. These are treasures. He posted that. He posted that. Yeah. Where is that? Yeah. Pause. upload upload share that don't forget to follow me fp 80233721 gmail.com kotn vfv he has two dogs in that apartment like big dogs one is a Scandinavian my two dogs the German police dog and a Scandinavian bear dog the Norwegian Scandinavian bear dog We're fixing to go serve some papers to the bitch trying to steal my house. My dog's got my back. No one else does. He should link up with the first guy with the basement and the diamond necklace because they could live together. Of course. Oh, shit. Yeah, they could support white owned businesses together with all their income. God, there needs to be there needs to just be a social media platform for cool guys. Is that a drawing? Do we have a drawing up there? If you scroll up to a little bit. Is that something he drew? Oh, all of us have this coming recipe. That's on the wall. I think he drew that on his wall, babe. Yeah. With a reminder. With a Bic. Hello. My name is Chuck Groves and I'm a homosexual. Sure. I'm ready to start living as an openly gay man. I'm looking to meet other gay guys for friendship and dating. Cool. That's also our generation. He's like, hello. Just putting this message out there. That's good, man. But gay guys are so cool. Automatically. Oh, by the way, I posted a clip of us last week me saying that I'm into gay man porn and I just took an unofficial poll of the women to see if they think I'm vile and disgusting or if they too like it. Because I've heard that chicks dig it. So let's see. This is crazy. Out of like 500 responses, it's 51% to 49%. 49% saying, no, you're gross. You're gross. Isn't that crazy? It's pretty polarizing. This is like a divisive topic. What's the percentages? Women who like gay porn. Yes, 51%. 41%. 49% is no, you gross idiot. Can you believe that? Yeah, but I mean, that means that a significant amount are with you, though. That's a lot. This is like an election. This is how tight elections are. This is really crazy. Yeah, man. Also, I have some big YMH news. This is chips in a bowl. This is cats eating kibble. This is a big deal. Okay. I posted it on my tech talk like right after it happened. January 16th, 2026 at 614 p.m. I had a double pipe classic. This is a YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. Wow. I was euphoric in this video. I mean, you should be. Everybody is when that happens. Go ahead, Solo. Just really quick. It's very important. Hi. I want you to know that today, January 16th, this is 2026, at exactly 6.14 p.m., I, Christina P., had a double pipe classic. Now, if you're a fan of your mom's house, you know what that is. It's when you burp and fart at the same time. if you're not a fan of your mom's house well now you know and it's very rare it hasn't happened to me in several years um you know when it happens it kind of sneaks up on you and you're like oh my god did i just burp and fart at the same time and like you have to register it and it's just so special i wanted to share that with the world say goodbye biscuit just let me post this really quick there's always a kid next to me like mom yeah do you remember like so that because i think this happens everyone's like well what'd you just eat what did you how did you live that day yeah well i did have a lot of i had oh i know what i had um mendocino farms i had the quinau um avocado salad and it was in the evening and i bent over to get a bottle of wine out of the fridge and I beefed and I burped. It went beef and then burp overlaid. You know when you go, oh my God. It occurs to you, the chain of events, and you're like, no, no, no, that is a double pipe classic. Even the one started first, the beef, but then the burp overlaid it. I was like, this counts, right? It counts. We've got to get you on Huberman because I feel like this could be something that he'd want to share with people too. You think so? Yeah, yeah. I'll text him. Got it to you? Well, they both would be interested, but I think Andrew would be like, let me kind of tell people what their protocol should be to get something. Their proto. That's really cool. When's the last time you had one? Do you even remember? No, it's been a long time. It's been a while. But like I said, it's really important to stay conscious and stay aware because you can have one and it doesn't even register. I could have easily just let that pass me by. Yeah, if your mind is kind of like drifting off, yeah, you don't even put it together. Yeah, you have to be vigilant about your double pipe classic. Vigilant. Yeah. Anyway. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Bless you. Okay. How many are we going to do? Holy shit. Just three. Oh my God. Okay. I can't believe you're going to miss the big storm. Storm Dad would love the storm. Yeah. Wait, should I really stock up on things? Do you think it's going to be that? Yeah, wine and stuff, yeah. Cinnabons. It'd be. Cinnabons. It's really important. Fuck. Listen to me. Listen to me, bro. Let me see your phone. This is Mike the accountant. No, I know. I know. This nigga will fuck you up. He's on my team. All this nigga been doing his whole life is carrying brick, concrete. He's an internal and external carpenter. Dude, this guy's grip is ten times stronger than yours and mine. He's on my team. What team is that? I mean, it sounds like it's, I got the free pass team. I don't know. Pretty wild, right? Yeah. This nigga will fuck you up. Hey, man, I need an extension on my taxes. This is the guy to call. He just throws that out. My race is in about a week. I've got about six and a half pounds to lose before then. How are you going to lose six and a half pounds? I'm about eight or nine percent body fat right now. Some people say, oh, that's like four or five. No, it's not. And some of you guys say that you're like 10% body fat. No, you're not. I've looked at you. You're like 17%, 18%, 20%. You're not even close to 110%. This is about 8% or 9% body fat, okay? Hey, man, you haven't gotten back to me on my refund since last year. I filed with you. could you stop posting these videos and actually let me know what's going on? From his closet. Hey, Tom, how's your fat percentage reduction going? Oh, it's not great, man. It's not great. I don't know what it is, but it's not great. You wanted to get down to 4%, right? I thought 2-3 would be ideal. Yeah. I'm just eating too much, man. I'm eating too much. I did notice a crazy thing. Can you go to his page? Can you guys go to his page real quick? Because I saw this scrolling this week. I thought this was nuts. Keep going. I can't believe he just throws. I'm still shocked at the N-bomb throwdown. He just was like, this guy. That's wild, dude. If he did that to you in the street, and he's like, this guy's grip, and then he dropped that on you, what do you even do? What do you say? Do you correct somebody? I'd say thanks, nigga. scroll to the top again earlier this week he he archives a lot i think always yeah just like is that a black guy what is this why do they do this can't explain it but i have the urge and i can't explain it but it's just some we do i don't know to like hide from the public what you were No, it's like you're curating. It's specifically what I want you to see right now. And sometimes it's nothing. That's a real black move. If you just archive everything and you have a blank page for no reason, very black thing to do. That's a black thing you think? It's a very black thing to do. Name me one white guy that's done it. I don't know. Unless it's consistently like that, like for it to just randomly be zero like posts, but before they had a whole wall of shit. It doesn't make sense. Why would you do it? I can't explain, but I've done it before too. You can't explain black. I like that you're like, these are, there are even, there are even some black mysteries to me. Yeah. Yeah. You know what it probably is? It's my white side. Yeah. It's my white side, but it doesn't understand it. Oh, right. That's right. That's right. This is a great point. Let's go back to this guy in a minute, but may I just interject one thing? I would love to know your black opinion on Jaden Smith lately. Jaden Smith. He's been the – they made him the designer for – what's the Red Bottoms shoes? Louboutins? Louboutins. And I'm curious to see what the black opinion is on him because, like, okay, His collection is really it inspired by the color red So he spray painted himself red and then he made like red boots with fur on them and red red red red red I don know like do black people think he cool or do we not like this I mean, I think, yeah, it does look like a clown shoe. God damn it. I know, and I like his other stuff, actually. Like, I think some of the stuff that he did was quite good, but I don't think the fur, it's hard to wear. That's a baseball cap? That's a cap. Yeah. Annie, please buy that hat. It's $10,000. Done. Okay, don't buy that hat. So expensive. No way. I don't like it that much. Yeah, I feel bad for the kid. Yeah, me too. I feel bad. He's just a kid. We were all this fucking stupid at some point. How old is this kid? How old is Jaden now? He's got to be like 28 by now. 27. 27. Yeah, he's a cutie pie. He's still a kid, you know? I know. It sucks that this much attention is on him at all. Because, yeah, what 27-year-old is going to be making fucking super sick moves that everyone would agree with? It's like, you're crazy. You're still retarded. Yeah. And I'm surprised is the black community clowning him right now? Don't say that word. Sorry. Is the black community making fun of him or are we having mercy? That's what I'm really curious about. If you could get back to me, You just talk to all the blacks, you know, and then I feel like I'll console the blacks. Let me know. OK, speaking of black guys, we got to give a shout out. Rest in peace. This was unexpected and it is quite sad that white folks passed away. I ain't tell no shit. Yeah. Hey, man, I know what's going on. Yeah. Hold on. White folks. He died. Really sad. He died a few days ago. Motorcycle accident. No. Thank you. You just don't know what you mean. You don't know what you mean. You don't know what you mean. Hey, you dropped something. You dropped something. Your mammals. Don't you talk to white folks like that. What a light. What a light. What a, he was a good time. Here's two black people hanging out. Whoa, Vicky. Yeah. Yeah, what a treasure. Rest in peace. Yeah, what a light. Another cool guy gone. That's really sad. Yeah. That's too bad. Oh, well. I wonder how. Motorcycles, man, they're just so dangerous, bro. Yeah, and it should have been his health that killed him. So you look at a guy like him and you're like, he's going to die any minute. Well, I don't think that was really far off. But yeah. Gone but never forgotten. I don't think. Look at that list. I don't know if Nadav belongs out there. Well, he passed away. No, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, look at those guys. Yeah. Unk Shine? It's crazy. That list is crazy. Hard Rock Nick next to Larry King next to Herc Kevin Samuels Leo OJ the succulent Chinese meal the Irish drunk the Calority guy is dead? I didn't realize that I thought we heard that he was dead and then that was false wait a minute we've heard mixed reports but I would believe it no No, not the clown. No, how would you not believe that? What part of you would doubt that? Just of all these cockroaches. I mean, that guy can outlive the fool. He's a drunk. They'd live forever. They do fucking live. God damn it. They keep living. And they never fucking stop living. Yeah, I know. God only takes the good ones. Here's some funny stuff for you. I got some LOLs after this sad moment. Oh, no. Okay. Here we go. Oh, look at her. Oh, this is. Nice. Yeah, dog. Oh, fuck. Nuh-uh. Wait, dude. That was just a basketball. Holy shit. Whatever. What's that shit called? Fucking basketball thing? Yeah, that was a hoop. It looks like it was a basketball thing. She just fell down on that? It looks like it's in the Philippines, maybe. Oh, that's why. She put a lot of weight on that. They're not built to be like, hey, stand on this. She's 90 pounds. She's tiny. I know, but she was bouncing. I mean, no, it should have not done that, for sure. That's all rusty and shitty. But she definitely fucked with it, yeah. Damn, dude. That one was pretty scary. I was pretty horrified by that. She seems okay. Oh, fuck. Your guys are broken. Oh, fuck. That was unbelievable. That guy used to do that in college, you know, for sure. That's a dad who was like, oh, yeah, you don't know I could do gymnastics? You know? I mean, look, he knows what he's doing. Yeah, he can do it. He's got the muscle memory. But his body can't. went. Dude, this is like, you just can't do stuff when you're old. I can't play tennis anymore. My body's all fucked up. Broken ankle. Fuck. Those noises were great though. Shout out to the judges. Just for those noises. Okay. What, dude? What the fuck was that? That was a trash? He got up and walked away from that. No, that was a dumpster. He landed on like a metal dumpster, dude. God damn it, dude! That should have split his body in half. Oh, Jesus. Holy shit, that fucking hurt. That should have ripped him in half like a Play-Doh. It really should have. What is this? It's a watermelon. Oh my God. I didn't know you could do that. You know that... Well, you can't. You can throw anything on someone's head. But that clearly was, can I break this over your head? And he was like, yeah, go for it. Can I break this on your head? Yeah, yeah. Break it on my head. Just knock out. Holy shit, man. And is it racist? Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. I see what you're doing. I mean, the question was racist. That's crazy. Well, I saw it. I was like, oh, no, is this clip racist? That's crazy. You know you gave that man 20 bucks, too. He's like, I gave him 20 bucks. He let me smash this shit on you. He's like, okay. Yeah. All right. I'm good for it. And he got a concussion out of it. That's fucking crazy. That is nuts. Well, we got a fun one for you here. Something I think you'll enjoy. Sure. You ready? I'm ready. This guy is locked up in Indiana, okay? And they did an interview with him in Indiana, in prison. The first woman you killed was Karen Hadella, a 40-40-year-old woman who you'd never met. Why did you kill her? It just felt like it. I don't know. I mean, I didn't have to have a reason. And then you killed somebody who was a friend of your family, your mother's friend. Yeah. Christine Wittes. She caught me cutting up another one. So, and then she told me she was going to call the police. How did you kill her? Stranglers. I'm just trying to discover whether there's any part of your mind, any part of your, I use the word loosely, humanity, which says that this is appalling. Yeah, I don't believe I got any of that. Humanity. Or teeth. You have no humanity. I don't think I do. The chuckle is really what nails it. The chuckle is good, yeah. You have no remorse at all about any of the people you murdered. It just don't seem to affect me. Yeah. I mean, I could kill a person and just go out to dinner. I don't care. He's got a little giggle again. In a way, is this not the most liberating way to be? Where you're just like, oh, whatever. This is what Buddhists have been trying to get you to your whole lifetime, is to be detached. What an interesting take on this. Yeah. What an interesting take. Is this something the Buddhists would celebrate? He's not attached. he's totally detached I could do that and go to dinner go on the only time I ever got any kind of feeling about it at all was the rush I got when I was doing it yeah that feels nice you got an adrenaline rush from killing people I guess it was more than that too I mean I got a kick out of cutting them up I mean you get a kick out of cutting them up Yeah. It seemed like after the first one, it just got good to me. You know? Yeah. At first, I was kind of nervous about it. But then after the first one, I was like... You know what? He went from becoming an amateur to a professional. I understand that. 10,000 hours. That's what it takes. Remember the first time you played tennis? Yep. And you're like... Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you learn to turn over the racket. Right? You turn it over. Let the momentum take you. like, hey, this is fun. It's not that different. No, no. You have to let yourself enjoy it, too. You know what I mean? He's so free. I don't think I'll ever be this free from my emotions. I don't think you'll ever be this free. Most of us will never be this free. No, I'm kind of jealous. It wasn't just women. They were men, too. They just didn't find none of them. I didn't tell them about none of them. I killed men, too. So you killed a greater number of people than the police know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They might have a tenth of it. I'll put it that way. So you may have killed 29, 30 people? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Are you prepared now to tell the authorities where those bodies are buried? No. No. You never will? Mm-mm. No. I'm not going back, going through all that court stuff. No. That's not going to do it. Yeah, court sucks. Too much red tape? Any sense of remorse. I've done a lot of bad shit. I'm right where I belong. Believe me, they don't want me at it. Yeah. Well, I just thought that'd be a fun thing to... Yeah. The chuckle is really cool. Yeah. You know, it's really interesting, though, that it is always this type of guy you're getting when there's serial killers. Like there's only one personality type, one physical makeup. They all look like him. What is this white guy? This is a white guy thing. It is a white guy thing. It is a white guy thing. Like a dorky, friendly white guy thing. I don't know how friendly he is, but they're usually from, you know, a certain socioeconomic background. There's usually some neglect. They're usually, yeah, have some abuse in their background. and there's this antisocial thing that starts pretty young with them. But only white guys feel entitled enough to cut up other people. Maybe is that what this is? Well, here's the thing. This is why you've got to support white-owned businesses, okay, because these are the kinds of guys that feel like you didn't support their business, you know, and then there's kind of one way to get you back. It's white privilege. Well, that was so dark. This is something that will make you smile. I hate those fucking assholes. This is laughter yoga. So whose laugh do you like more? Whose laugh do you like more? Do you like... Or do you like... The serial killer all day. Because the serial killer is real. He is real. This is like when you go to an alt comedy show and you hear those people that are laughing extra hard and loud to show you that they're smart enough to get the joke that's not actually funny but that's smart. This is fake. I hate that. Fuck you, you fucking nerd. Fucking nerd. I hate these dorks, dude. I know. Fucking asshole. How dare they try to make themselves happy without alcohol or drugs? This would make me very upset. This might turn me into a serial killer. If you took me to laughter yoga, I might leave there and just kill somebody. This amuses me. I hated that. Look at this. Look at this. Okay, we should do this to my mom. Okay. He shaped the toilet paper, covered it with the Nestle's. Ba-bum. Triple chocolate. Ah, c'est coshant. I love this so much. Should we do that to Charles? I'd love to. You should do it, but set it up at Chichobamba so that they give it to her there. Oh, my God. They're like, this is fish from the oven. I told me. I told me it tastes like paper. drink your water um all right i gotta get going gene no what are you gonna do today what do you got uh this is our final official prep day so there's a bunch of shit to do and then i have i got rehearsal over the weekend okay and then we start monday morning dang homie okay very excited very amazed we're We're going to batten down the hatches. Is that the radio? I don't even know what that batten down. Is that how you say it? I feel like I've never said that out loud. Sintan the Chinchaw. We're going to do that and we're going to batten down the hatches. You nailed it. Secure a ship's house. Whatever. We're going to hopefully survive this storm. I'll let you know if we're alive by the end of the weekend. Well, make sure you stop and don't get water. Don't get toilet paper. Don't get canned goods. Get wine. Get some donuts. Get cinnamon rolls. Get some tequila. Porosos we have at the house. So don't worry about that. Oh, yes, we do. We do. All right. I love you, Jeans. Good luck. All right. Love you. Bye. See you guys. Bye. Ciao, ciao. Bye. Bye. Touch it, touch it, touch it, touch it. Yeah. Touch the camera. Yeah. Yeah. Touch the camera. Touch the camera. Watch. Watch. Touch my peer world Touch my peer world Touch it, touch it, touch it, touch it Touch my motherfucking peer world Thank you.