Do You Have Double What It Takes? | The Source Of Your Anxiety

Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues courage discipline justice and wisdom into the real world. Do you have double what it takes? It would be nice if things were easier. It would be nice if they were fair. It would be nice if they were simply what they were advertised. But we all know that they are not. And for most of history, they have not been for some of us more than others. There was an old expression true for women for minorities and other groups that in order to succeed, they had to be twice as good. Meaning they were held to higher standards put through more of a ringer subjected to extra scrutiny. It wasn't right, but it was a fact. In a way, this is how life goes for everyone. It should be said even the relatively privileged. We think we know what we need to do. We're told the rules were told the difficulty. And then you know what? Turns out to be much, much harder. People are going to change those rules at the last minute. The circumstances are going to move the goalposts. There are hidden fees. There are unexpected delays, obstacles, adversaries, pitfalls, and bad luck. It's going to be there. It's going to happen. That's life, the stoic say. It isn't fair. Some gatekeeper is going to grade you harder than everyone else and you'll have to deal with it. You have to reach down and draw from your reserves. You'll have to be that much better. You have to do that much more. You can complain. You can quit or you can understand as epititidist did someone who was certainly persecuted and victimized by fate. That life is pairing you with a strong sparring partner. That is to say adversity. And in fighting on and in beating them, you'll become that much better twice as good. We all experience injuries, pain, there's physical obstacles, things we can't do that hold us back. That is a part of life. But what we have ultimately is a choice about how we respond to those setbacks. 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This is the February 3rd entry from the daily stowick, which I'm holding the cloth bound version here. We've got a leather bound in the daily stowick store as well. If you didn't know that. Now quote today comes from epic teetus discourses to 13 when I see an anxious person I ask myself what do they want for if a person wasn't wanting something outside of their control. Why would they be stricken by anxiety and then the meditation for today is the anxious father worried about his children. What does he want a world that is always safe. A frenzied traveler what do they want for the weather to hold in the traffic to part so that she can make her flight. A nervous investor that the market will turn around and that the investment pays off. All these scenarios have the same thing in common as epitita says it's wanting something outside of our control getting worked up getting excited nervously pacing these intense pain and anxious moments show us at our most futile and servile. Staring at the clock at the ticker at the next checkout lane over at the sky it's as if we belong to a religious cult that believes the gods of fate will only give us what we want if we first sacrifice our peace of mind. Today when you find yourself getting anxious ask yourself why are my insides twisted into knots am I in control here or is my anxiety and most important. Is my anxiety doing me any good. I make up that Marcus really so is a pretty anxious person you can't read meditations and not get some sense that he was trying to talk himself out of a spiral out of a catastrophizing out of a sort of a natural inclination to worry. He makes a great point similar to what epictetus is saying says you know today I escaped my anxiety says actually know I discarded it he says because it was within me epictetus is saying that the anxiety is in you but not as this distinct thing it's an outgrowth of you wanting needing expecting hoping dreading that things will or won't go a certain way. Right that we're not willing to go with the flow to be flexible to adjust to take. Whatever comes as it comes. I was just going through this I have this thing with my passport and then you know I then I drove all the way to Houston to get it renewed and they said okay you made the deadline you did everything you're supposed to. Come back tomorrow got a bit for in the morning I drove three hours here I waited in mine I got to go home. And do this again tomorrow and then I ended up actually could send someone so I paid someone to do it and they were like and we'll call you if there's any problems and I sort of tried to say consciously to myself look this is in the bag or it isn't right it's done it's not up to me whether it what happens or not and so am I going to have the gift of the next 12 to 36 hours and I can be torturing myself along the way right. I want this thing of course I would prefer to get my passport not have to cancel this trip and you know mess up this event I agreed to go to. I would prefer it more than I would not prefer it but at the same time I don't want it at the expense of my happiness of the present moment of. The way I want to treat people so I kind of just had a step back and let go and think about it as the stove say a preferred and different I don't think is that you don't want anything right of course the. Parent wants their children to be safe and healthy right the frenzy traveler wants to make the trip the nervous investor wants the market to go up. You have to want it but not so much that it ruins things for you that that that you must have it right when the stokes talk about a preferred and different they mean like it's better to get it the not get it but. It's not going to break you if you don't get it you won't stand in dread or breathless anticipation in the meantime you'll write it out you'll take a deep breath you'll be present. Right you'll ask yourself do I need to twist myself into knots am I actually being rewarded or is anyone noticing how. Much i'm beating myself up over the fact that I let the passport expire and then I tried to do like nobody cares it is what it is step back let it be what it's going to be. Be who you need to be inside of that which is to say not anxious not annoying and not torturing yourself. Hey it's Ryan thank you for listening to the daily stoke podcast I just wanted to say we so appreciate it we love serving you it's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple years we've been doing it it's an honor please spread the word tell people about it and this isn't to sell anything I just wanted to say thank you. you