1KHO 693: Seen But Not Known | Ben Higgins, The Bachelor

Oh, it's a beautiful world Ain't nothing on the screen that's ever gonna be this view Oh, it's a beautiful world And I just wanna share with you It's a beautiful world Such a beautiful world Oh, it's a beautiful world I have a few favors to pretty please ask of you This is quick support that makes a major difference Hit follow on the show so new episodes automatically land in your feed February is completely recorded and there's a lot to look forward to Also, if you never left a review, I would be so grateful if you did Those reviews are how other people find and choose this podcast And one more thing, if you have a friend who loves The Bachelor This is your moment, send them this episode Also, if you're new here, you're hearing our intro song called It's a Beautiful World, a collaboration between In Paradise And our older daughter's band Two Better Friends It's so upbeat, go give it a listen after the episode Wherever you stream your music All right, let's get into it Here's my conversation with Ben Higgins If you're a parent, you know how hard it is to find drinks That are actually good for your kids And still taste good enough that they'll drink them That's why we have been loving Cure Hydration I always read the label before I let my kids have anything And Cure checks every box Their hydration packs for adults are plant-based Have no added sugar and only 25 calories I use them in the mornings to jumpstart my water intake Or when we're traveling, especially flights Because they just make staying hydrated easier Lemonade is probably my favorite right now It's clean, light, and never tastes artificial And since it hydrates better than water alone, I actually feel the difference The kids' mixes have been a big shift in our house My kids used to resist plain water, especially after being outside all day Now they will happily drink Cure It's formulated with pediatricians, free of artificial flavors and major allergens And has no added sugars We use it after sports, long outdoor days, or even when someone's feeling run down Staying hydrated isn't just about water, you also need electrolytes That's why my family loves Cure It's clean, tastes great, and my kids love it You can grab Cure on Amazon or find a store near you at curehydration.com.se Outside Real ingredients, real hydration, ready for the whole family Here we go, welcome to the 1000 Hours Outside Podcast My name is Ginny Irridge, I'm the founder of 1000 Hours Outside And this is the first for me, I think maybe the first ever Ben A reality TV star is here, Ben Higgins, welcome Star is so funny, hey I'm happy to be here I don't, it is a thing, I'm trying to think back, like we watch Survivor I've watched Bachelor in Seasons Pass We've got a bunch of kids now, so we hardly watch TV, we don't have time But I have watched Bachelor before And I'm just trying to think if I've ever talked to anyone else who's been on reality TV And I don't think so So Ben, you are my first and only so far So tell us, I know I'm sure you're so sick of talking about it But like, you just, your co-worker said Hey, why don't you should try out and you made a video? Send it in? Yeah, I mean that's pretty, I mean you could definitely explain The process like that and that would be accurate It's, there was a lot of behind the scenes to that Where I had a, you know, I just had my first job I was working all the time trying to learn this job Not because I was like super good at my job Just because I wasn't good, so I had to work all the time to make up for it And then I had just moved to Denver, Colorado And I didn't really know anybody out here And so at 25 years old, I lived a pretty robotic life And I think one of my co-workers recognized that And she said, hey, would you please go on this show that I love? You're like the perfect candidate You need life mixed up a bit You're not saying goodbye to a lot of things if you go You're not dating out here and it'd be cool if you dated somebody And so I said, yeah, I would definitely do that And everything she was saying was true Like I wanted life to get mixed up a bit And get a little more exciting Ginny, I've always had this idea that when I'm like an old, old man And I have grandkids that there'll be these like moments in my life That they'll like want to ask me about Because they like are like excited about it or curious And at that point at 25, I really didn't have much And so this was one of a hopefully many things That maybe they'll be curious about when I'm, you know, older Yeah, I think so I definitely think so And I do agree with you I think a lot of people are not going to have stories passed down Because they haven't done much So now you have your own podcast You talk about being semi-famous But really I think you're more on the famous end Because you are on twice So you get on, you're on the season where there's two people And then you end up coming back as the bachelor So what was that process like? I do you feel like if someone is only on once And then they get kicked out toward the beginning They are not going to be even semi-famous Oh yeah, I think that's very true I think they would even say that for themselves If you're only, I mean, if you really get into that world Everybody's talking about screen time And as you become, you know, maybe you go on a spin-off show Or you go on the traders or something like that Like you're really wanting screen time Because that's how people get to know you better It's how they'll recognize your face more Those kind of things And so yeah, having two seasons I think helped Fame has always been a very uncomfortable thing for me And I've never like, I don't say I didn't like it I think it feels great It just was never good for me And I just really believe that no one human is meant to be famous And so I've had a, I've always had a very weird relationship with fame Or like being recognized Okay, so, but now you are, or at least you say semi-famous Tell me about the co-worker. Was she like a mom type? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was like, she was a mom She was our chief marketing officer, so she was, she was hip She like understood how technology worked And how communication with the next generations worked But for me, I think personally, she was like a safer space in this new Job that I didn't know anybody at Because she had those mom qualities, because those nurturing qualities Isn't it wild? Do you think like had she not pushed you probably wouldn't have done it? Oh, I would have never thought about it. In fact, I remember there was a moment Not many weeks before she told me about this Where I'm not the smartest person in the world And sometimes it takes me a bit to catch up on stuff I remember sitting on a plane and there was this guy that walked on I was sitting next to a buddy of mine and my buddy goes, oh my gosh, that's so and so from some reality television show And that was the first time it really hit me. I wasn't a huge reality television fan But it was the first time it hit me that normal like everyday people Were the people that went on these shows. I didn't even think about that being an option in my life There was never a childhood dream of one day I'll be the bachelor I'll be the bachelor Um, that was never like a thought until it was an option And then it changes the whole course of your life changes everything And I in colorado you're married to someone else. You have a kid You are sitting in home with no heat because you have no power It's ridiculous and here you are. What do you think? Okay. So then what's the process when you don't make it? on the bachelorette Like did you know that they were going to pick you for the bachelor? I guess I did soon after getting uh removed from the show There were moments during the filming of the show Of the bachelorette that I was like they really want me around Like how did you know? um Well, I was roommates with the person that ended up uh Being with the the the bachelorette And so I'd have like a very close look at their relationship and I was like my relationship with her is nowhere close to what theirs is Yet she somehow keeps me around and if if that's is that's if that's the difference between like her choice and her third candidate There's a massive gap here. She has to have better relationships with some other of these guys And so as I brought it up to some of the producers and they were like, you know, they would always do this convincing me of no She's so into you and I'm like I'm not I mean, I'm again. I'm not that smart, but I'm not that dumb I I see that she's not that into me, but they'd always want me around. They always wanted me around They always wanted me around And then as soon as I was removed from the show I was laying up in my hotel room in Ireland And I remember just kind of processing this whole thing. I'm about to go back into the real world After about three months of being in this bubble And I'm thinking about all that And one of the lead producers in the show came up to my room knocked on the door and they sat me down We talked for a bit. We had a drink and she said, hey Ben, would you want to be our bachelor? And I was like Honestly, I was like Yeah Like of course, this is great. This is fun. You guys I'm staying in nicer hotels. I've ever stayed in I'm eating better food and I'm traveling the world This is perfect and you're telling me that You know, you could find 30 people that'd be willing to come and try to date me that'd be Ideal that makes life a lot easier And so I kind of knew soon after that they were you know, at least curious about it So this was how long of your life? Uh, well the bachelorette is about it was about three months give or take a few days And then you have about a month and a half off Uh, maybe a little bit more And you kind of I got announces the bachelor which then starts kind of a media circus where you're Everywhere talking about your dreams your hopes, you know what you're into not into And then you start filming and the filming for the when you're the lead is over three months long So all in I would say it felt like eight months of my life At that time was dedicated to me being on the show What an interesting thing so you know, you don't get picked for the final rose But you get picked to be the bachelor and that is a life changing thing then you wrote this book It's called the loan and plain sight came out right around covid so you re-released and I love I've never seen a book before ben Where at the end there's an afterward and you're like it's been five years My life has changed a lot. Yeah. Hello again. Um, yeah, it was such a bummer jenny It really was uh when I wrote this book You know, we kind of started on this path, but you know famous was such a weird thing because I was famous for no talent um other than just dating people and And that in itself was a weird dynamic because uh, my faith is very important to me and I always kind of had this you know, my Foundation has always been in the community of People that share the same faith tradition as me to kind of be held accountable by to be celebrated with and all these things and I go on the show And and went on the show through a lot of prayer and through a lot of conversations with people that I trusted and felt really good about my decision to go on the show And then I get off the show and this community of people that I've loved and I've trusted for so long We're also the ones that were like the most critical Because I went on a show where I dated 30 people at once and how in the world is somebody of faith supposed to do that and do that Well and all these things and I have arguments Uh in justifications for why I did it. I've never regretted the decision to do it But my point to this was fame was always interesting to me because I never I've always felt like there's only one name That should be famous And then I also felt like an outsider coming off the show And I started writing this book kind of as this like Love letter to a fan base who had been so supportive of me Uh, but also let them know that you know, they are not alone in their struggles and journeys and this platform that was handed to me Was a great opportunity to do that And I worked on it and I worked on it and I worked on it and I pulled out memories and stories that honestly I had tried to forget and Then it really then then like we have the release date, you know, four months to release date five months to release date I'm so excited and then the pandemic hits and everything that we had planned goes away Yeah, um, and I was bummed. I was really sad. It just felt so disconnected honestly a book about connection about community felt so disconnected because You just kind of push it out there into the world and nobody's able to gather or talk about it and so this re-release was Also, there's been probably some definitely the biggest things that have happened my life have happened since the book released So I wanted to write about those and then also it was a second chance at Hopefully telling some stories my own included That would help the reader feel less alone Well, you had a hard a hard hard childhood You were especially with your dad and he has stage four Hodgkin's and foma Uh, like even before you were born and so you're growing up with your with your dad has got these health issues You know, it's interesting what you said about fame though. I I was talking to someone about that recently Especially as it as relates to people of faith And there's a verse that says give honor to whom honor is due and the person was kind of making the case for Fame's not necessarily the right word but like honoring people who I don't know are living their life for christ and who are writing books like yours alone in plain sight that are that are shining back and leading people back to jesus. So Um, you know, I think it's interesting when you have these opportunities and the bible says the the lord plans your steps So you have these opportunities and you use them to point back to jesus's work in your life Okay, so tell us and about you had a couple big hiccups. First of all, you're dealing with a dad That's got these pretty significant health issues and also you're an athlete and you had a big injury So can you talk about some of those those bigger childhood moments you write about them in your book? Yeah, definitely. So my dad when I was a junior had his first big heart episode Um, which they found out after that episode that he had heart disease that has you know A lot of his heart had died due to the chemo that he went through During his cancer treatments and we didn't ever realized it and that started a journey that still exists today It's a consistent battle with you know, his heart and his uh His heart not working and him feeling, you know Low on energy or not being able to breathe or going in, you know He just about a month and a half ago just had another surgery to fix a valve And so he has all these his heart's just a mess. It's been a mess. But as a junior you kind of You you've at that point. I think you're just starting to wake up at least i was to The problems and the pains of the world. You don't really realize it for so much of your life. They you know, they're not Focus points, but this was the first time where I really realized. Oh my gosh Like my the a person that I love so dearly might not make it through this event um And what do I do with that? How do I process that? How do I? Step up in my own household and and how do I say goodbye to somebody I love so much? well, right on the backs of that I am uh playing in a football game And uh, I Totally blow my knee out and not just a like tear everything And sports had always been a huge focus in my life. I'm pretty tall Um, it was I'm an only child. So it was a way for me to have my friendships was to be around teammates You know relationships through that were very important to me and so I um I blow my knee out and I and I knew pretty much on the field that night. Hey everything's about to change But what happened was I started a journey of addiction because I was I was sad Um, you know, I I was without identity. I was grieving this new Reality with my dad. I was also grieving this new Identity being a not an athlete knowing that my dreams of you know playing in college were over and And so uh, it did I started getting prescribed painkillers um for my knee Which started a very long process of addiction Because it really at the time and I think it's this way for so many It was One of the only things that was an immediate fix To feeling the pains that I was having it was a numbing mechanism To just put me into a different universe to where those Things that were right in front of me could be ignored, you know, why I was taking the medicine, uh, you know the prescription pills This is such a fun announcement to make womb bikes is officially the 2026 bike partner of 1000 hours outside and if you've been around here long enough, you know, that's not a casual partnership We care deeply about the tools that help families reclaim childhood and womb is doing exactly that womb was founded by two dads in a vienna garage who simply couldn't find a bike that actually fit their kids So they built one and what makes womb different is that they don't start with engineering They start with empathy every part of the bike from the lightweight frame to the brakes size perfectly for small hands Is designed to help kids feel capable and confident in a screen dominated world bikes are more than bikes They are freedom. 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That's where I XL can really shine I XL is an award-winning online learning platform that fits seamlessly into homeschooling It offers interactive practice across math language art science and social studies from pre-k through 12th grade A personalized learning for each child keeps them engaged and gives parents clear insight into progress What stands out this time of year is a real-time feedback and progress tracking Kids get instant explanations when they miss something and parents can see exactly where growth is happening And where a little reinforcement might help It takes the guesswork out of finishing strong make an impact on your child's learning get IXL now and 1000 hours outside listeners Can get an exclusive 20 off IXL membership when they sign up today at IXL.com Slash 1000 hours visit IXL.com slash 1000 hours to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price How did you work through that because you say, you know, and this is like any addiction rather than face my fears I had inside my addiction, but you didn't talk too much about Getting to the other side of that Yeah, you know, I it was years when I say years this this lasted most of them through college and I started in college to Again really question my faith There's this idea call me crazy, right that if if Jesus is real And we are called to love God love others and that that is the motivation to give us the purpose at which we live our life And if if that calling comes from a God that is living and active in this world I either need to take it very seriously Or I can reject it and just move on to something different move on To a life without that God and that was kind of my prayer at the time was God if you're real and you're there I need you if you're not Well, you're not you're not listen to this anyways And I'll you know realize it recognize that at some point I also had started to get into the stage of Addiction where I was stealing from people that I knew had the medicine, you know Your prescription runs out and so you have to find other avenues at which to get them, you know to get the pills I was a wrecking ball when it came to how I was handling my romantic relationships my friendships People became A means to an end for me to where I could get something out of them and so after an encounter uh with somebody who was a close friend and Knowing that I had made decisions to really hurt them and I write about this in the book I Did something crazy and I was I actually felt felt this feeling like I felt like oh my gosh I've hurt this person who I care about and I don't love this moment. I don't love what I've done I don't love who I've become. Remember. I looked at myself in the mirror And I looked into my eyes in the mirror and I don't know if you've ever done that Um, but don't do it unless you want kind of want to get freaked out a little bit Uh, and I remember I said that same prayer. I said god if you are here And you are real I need you if not. I can't do this any longer And all I can do, you know, I could go in for hours on what happened in those moments But god showed up. Uh, I had what I believe is, uh A interaction with the divine And when somebody has an interaction with the divine I'm 36 years old. I talk about jesus a lot I talk about all this stuff, you know as much as I can I've never met anybody that's had an interaction with the divine that it hasn't drastically changed their life um And that's what happened for me, uh, it wasn't a Uh, necessarily like a cold turkey give up, but it was a lack of desire to continue to numb I wanted to feel the things I needed to feel. I wanted to Get in the dirt. I wanted to you know wrestle with god It was more of a calling to step up and um It's time And that moved me into a place of no longer desiring to numb myself by the medications that I was stealing Finding buying etc What a life change. What a life change and then you become almost famous. So wow, uh, what a path Then I date people for for on television. So it all works out the end, right? Good, I mean good thing because you know, that's not going to work out with Numbing your pain. I mean you have to be able to deal with all of that. So uh, you can see how it's like god God is setting you up for what's to come You talked about feeling like an outsider and this is a big part of this book It's called alone in plain sight searching for connection You talk about stories from childhood and then in college You talk about Like okay, you like sports, but you had this injury. So you're rooming with a sports people Yeah, and they're on the teams and you're like out with them a lot and people be like, oh, I know you Oh, and then they would be like, who are you? Yeah, but that's changed It has in fact, I think my longevity has outlasted some of them Yeah, so you talk about being an outsider and I think that's something that's really relatable for a lot of people And so that's definitely something that you will find in the book, you know, this is a book about human connection So can you talk about then? Okay Then there's this issue because it doesn't work out with I didn't watch the season. So I don't totally know all the details But you propose to this Lauren And then it doesn't work out which that seems like that's somewhat common And then people are up in arms about it because you know, they're emotionally invested But when you meet your now wife Jessica And now you guys have a kid which is so exciting You're in the process of saving breast milk because the power now is operations save the breast milk But you meet Jessica and you talk about how it was kind of difficult because you'd had all these elaborate dates that were paid for by Whatever tv show like whatever the I don't know what which one is it fox Disney Disney does bachelor Yeah, they own abc Okay. Oh, yeah, so that's elaborate. So disney's doing that and they're paying for all those things and then you have to just kind of date regular Can you talk about how that goes? Yeah, I mean, you know, it's been Not that long maybe a year and a half When I met my now wife And she knew she already knew who you were No When I messaged her on social media There's a wild story to this When I messaged her on social media because my buddy's from the show where like you got to start DMing people on instagram It's the only way you're gonna meet people and I kind of started to believe them because I wasn't I'm not a big like go outer I love, you know going out with my buddies and watching a football game and whatever But it's really hard to convince me to stay up past 11 o'clock at night ever like It's hard to convince me to stay up past 10 o'clock at night quite honestly and it has been that way for a long time so I just wasn't meeting people and Um, they're like you need to start messaging girls and I was like, okay. Well long story short. I saw Jessica's picture She was just I say this With love she was just a normal human selling commercial lighting in Nashville, Tennessee She had no following Nobody knew you know of her And I just found her beautiful and she had this like really cool way of I guess Captioning her pictures. They were funny and they were sweet and she loved jesus and I was like, okay This is good. This is this is better than what I I'm tempted to try to date. She's a lot better than that And so I messaged her she responded and the way she explains it now was she didn't know who I was But I had a blue check mark. So my message went to the top of her Instagram messages at the time so she saw it at least and She was at her house or her parents house and she asked her mom. She said mom I recognize this guy's name this ben higgins and her mom goes. Oh, he was the bachelor her mom loves the show Jessica's never watched it and Her mom tells me that when jessica was home from work one night She her mom was watching the show and jessica walks through the room And sits down for a second and starts watching my season on tv And her mom said she only remembers this because it's so out of character for my now wife Was jessica said, oh, I would date that guy and got up and left And her mom said she never forgot it because that was so uncommon for her to say those kind of things And so it was weird. I think because you have this I think the the hardest part Is instilled to this day. I was just talking to lauren the girl I ended up with from the show's husband about this If you google her name or if you google my name Pictures of the two of us still are the things that come up together pictures of my wife And I aren't the first things that come up And that's hard, you know, it's weird. It's uncomfortable Sometimes we're watching abc at night and a commercial of like a flashback of the bachelor happens And it shows me, you know kissing somebody and my wife has to see that that's not really something Uh as a wife that you prepared to have to like witness is your you know your partner your spouse You know kissing somebody else. This is not healthy. And so there's been Hurdles that we've had to like get over emotionally And that was really hard at the beginning. I don't know if it'd be as hard today I think I think with a baby and you know four years of marriage were kind of locked in It's interesting though because really truly everyone brings baggage into their marriage and yours is just more Like known to all Like everybody knows it everybody has it but more but normally it's invisible And yours is just shown for the world to see so you I mean you talked about how it was the most googled breakup story of the entire year Yeah, it's that's that's always a fun like plaque. I still have somewhere is that I was given a Kit that said I was one of the most googled things and it was just for a breakup. You're so right. I mean I I do think to my benefit Uh and I explained this to her parents early on in a joking way Was at least you know my like skeletons like at least i'm not in here like I can't deceive you they've done background checks on me um You've watched how I interact on national television with people like At least you know who I am the in fact, you know too much of who I am And I I hope that becomes a benefit for you Uh and for her So yes, I I do agree everybody brings it in at least mine was displayed on national television so that Everybody knew everybody knew So I think one of the coolest things about this book and what you share alone in plain sight is how you have used your journey And you've used it to really bless other people and to share their stories So you told other people stories in this book you talk about annie who has since passed away you talk about brandon And how he became a paraplegic in the blink of an eye you talk about avry Who spent his end of high school in a hospital room in isolation because of a syndrome that he had And then you also share the story With riley about starting generous your generous international coffee company So I thought was a really cool way to use a book just to to include other people's stories Can you talk about how when that started like was it right off the bat or toward the end when all of a sudden you're like Oh, i'm famous enough that I can go do hospital visits and really brighten someone's day I can text to someone who watches the show and really change things for them Was that more toward the end or did it start kind of right off at the beginning? You know this all was there there's a little bit of a switch that so When I was a teenager I went to central america for the first time with a group of my buddies And our hearts were broken um to try to find sustainable empowering ways to alleviate poverty or alleviate The lack of things in this world lack of water lack of schooling lack of jobs lack of infrastructure And so when I was young this was my focus like this is what my my friends and I would get fired up about We would go to honduras as like 18 year old kids and cause havoc and do stupid stuff and also try to do some good Why we were doing it And so this was always a passion. I went on the show I got off the show And the host at the time chris harris and sat me down one night and he goes hey ben use this to enhance the life You've already had not change your life completely That's good advice. That's good advice There's great advice and so it it it helped me Refocus and say okay, what do I do with this now platform? What do how do I what do I want to build with this like this is such a gift that was handed to me and given to me What can I do with this? You know 15 minutes of fame? And and so we started to really communicate about some of the things that we've always cared about Now in the midst of that as well a lot of my life through church Or through honestly living in denver not knowing anybody. I was running into some really interesting characters some people That were fascinating and the cool part about as you get older is people probably annoy you more Because you're older and you you know have dealt with a lot of different people You also realize that everybody has a story and when you take the time to actually listen to their story People have fascinating ways and very interesting ways of how they've gotten to where they're at Now the bachelor did bring me the opportunity to meet new people like annie as you mentioned annie Was a fan of the show and ask for a video as she was kind of in her last few weeks And I the story was explained to me Uh, and I immediately it was like I just can't send a video to a 20 You know something your old girl who's passing away. I want to actually talk to her if I can So she gave me like an hour and a half of her life Towards the end of her life where I just got to ask her questions about What it is she's learned in 25 years. What does it feel like to know that? Death is at the doorstep even though it is for so many of us and all of us really Um, what lessons would you teach somebody? It's a really it just a sidebar would be her dad recently reached back out to me And what we were just talking after a few years of not talking and he said hey ben when somebody asked me about my daughter I hand them their your book and tell them to read your book and I was like this That's the biggest compliment somebody could ever give me like Oh, what a what a special A special memory for me. So and and what a cool thing though for for them because It's something that's concrete. Yeah And normally when someone passes, you know, you have all these memories with them And you may have some pictures and things but there's not anything that's very concrete I would have never thought of that. It's beautiful. I mean, it was it's just beautiful and yeah, and so uh, you know, my story is Is what is one that I think there's um, There's victory in there's resilience that comes from my personal story, but my story is not all encompassing There's people that would never relate with the life that I've lived and the things that I've done And so my hope was when Alonin Plain Sight was written Was that I would be able to tell other people's stories as well so that as I said anybody that reads it at some point during the book Could be reading about Brandon or Avery or Annie or myself and they would say my goodness I feel that way also I I've been through something similar to this maybe not the same thing but similar and as a result of reading this I recognize that my pains and my struggles do not isolate me In fact, they bring me into a larger circle that actually makes me a part of a community And I feel us alone after reading this book That was my hope and I knew I couldn't do that on my own I knew I had to bring in friends to also fill some of the gaps that I couldn't fill Yeah, yeah, you talk about Annie you know, Annie taught me I can all let my struggles to find me I'm more than my problem You are too her attitude in the face of death. It just blew me away Life is short. Why do we waste it on things that don't matter Brandon's got a story about being an athlete and then having an injury a skiing injury actually in Breckenridge and The miracle there that he lost so much blood But there there was a doctor who happened to be skiing right behind him And so you talking that one about where self pity gives away to gratitude And how in time he gets to this about where his life really had not changed much You know, he's like I'm still doing what I would have been doing still going to the gym still hanging out friends and then you talk about Avery so then This is a little bit of a separate story then where you're talking about Riley And but you did talk about a woman from Honduras who had four children at age 22 Yeah, that's not uncommon in Honduras, uh, but That story was one, um You know, I think there's still moments today Like some of the best moments and the most exciting moments are for me is when I learned something different Or new Yeah, and when I was in Honduras, we were trying to figure out. Okay. How do we As people from the us actually help People in Honduras and not in a way of going down and telling them what they need and what they want and what they should have And what they should be dreaming of but getting behind them as as brothers and sisters and saying, okay How do we do this together? Right? We have some some skills and resources available in the u.s That you don't have in Honduras But you have some insight skills and resources in Honduras that we don't have in the u.s Together I think we can make a big difference. And so one of the first ways that You could definitely make a difference is clean water when somebody's lacking clean water life's hard Yeah, and so we put in a clean water tank Um with their help they the people in this community actually help pay for it and they now 100 sustain it. Um, and that's been years now but um We I was sitting next to one of my friends down there the lady you mentioned who was 22 years old had four kids at the time And I just asked her hey in the six months that you've had clean water what's been the biggest difference that you've that you've seen and She starts weeping and when somebody cries like usually you're also crying because just I don't know it feels better and um, so we're sitting there and she's weeping she has been in 22 years in my life I've never woken up a day without diarrhea in the last six months. I don't have diarrhea and she goes I know my kids now won't wake up With a leaky stool and I know they won't have the same stomach aches that I've had And it hit me as she's saying this Even is this crazy idea that somebody for 22 years of their life has worked in the hardest he uh, you know hardest and hottest conditions with very little pay Gone home and been a mother to four kids Help feed them bathe them every everything that moms do and have done it with stomach aches She's done that her whole life And just something as simple as like a 20 000 water tank Will change the trajectory of not only her life, but her kids life And that rocked my world to say okay, there are some things that we can actually do to help Like there are some ways that we can come down here and help and not hurt You know the situation And that's one of those moments where at you know, I was younger then But uh where I learned and my eyes were open to I think not only Um It brought to life the word of god for me It also brought to life a purpose and a mission That I could do for the rest of my life that would give me value Purpose and also help others in the process So these are earlier adult experiences and When you get into this spot where chris Harrison says enhance the life you already have you already have these dreams inside and Then you're able to help. I mean it's I think it's an incredible story give honor to whom honors do You know, you took what the lord gave you and you're using it to serve people. How does it connect to generous coffee? Uh, so this same organization. I was just talking about uh, we were young And all of our friends that we were fundraising through and with here in the u.s. Nobody had any money Including us. Um, people think you go on the bachelor and all of a sudden you you're super rich that let me tell you that Is not true. At least it wasn't true in my case. I might have Negotiated a bad contract. Um That's what I want you to I'm like, you're so bad at business. What in the world? What is happening? Um and so Anyways, we had this idea that hey, what if we started a For-profit business we got a bunch of people that we know who had either made it early in life or had retired with A significant amount of wealth to invest into this business Knowing they're never going to get paid back on it Um, and all of us would agree to work for free And so all the people that owned the business would work for free. So we would sell a product And be able to donate our profits to nonprofits Like ours and ours that have a hard time fundraising, you know, they're small in scale But they're doing great work and they just need a little boost and they need some sustainable source of of money And maybe we could do that through a business And so we started brainstorming this and uh through some meetings and conversations coffee Was the product that we fell into because we wanted something that brought people around the table Um, all of us have been really passionate about tables and about sharing meals with people and sitting with people and Um, breaking bread with people and there's really two things that bring people around a table that can be widely consumed and also shipped and that's alcohol and coffee and I wasn't about to enter into the uh, the The liquor space that's a really hard business But coffee was something that we could do. It's it's an amazing story from, you know, source to cup is something Absolutely incredible and oftentimes full of injustice in itself And so we thought okay, what if we started selling coffee telling a different story than what other people are telling Uh, and then donating 100 of our profits back to these nonprofits and eight years later That's still what we're doing generous coffee is still moving and grooving. It's still My main focus, uh, it's obviously not how I get paid So there's other things I have to do like the podcast and some other little projects to keep food on our table But it is my main focus. It's what when i'm done with this. I'm going to sit down on my computer and figure out what kind of Coffee problems I got to deal with today but it's been this life-giving experience of Being able to sell this product that so many people drink Telling a story through it and helping organizations in the process All right, people can check that out. I mean, yeah generous coffee.com. Please go buy it. Yes, absolutely buy it for your friends So you have this very normal story at the beginning. You're writing software manuals It's probably one of the most boring sounding things ever Isn't it weird that I talked for a living now and I was in the basement in a cubicle Not able to talk to anybody at the beginning of this ride like changes writing software manuals You said that when they put your name on the screen, it would say ben higgin software salesman Yeah, which sounds a little that's like a little bit of a step up them writing software manuals But you're in this just really plain everyday existence, right? Jessica Similar, you know, like you said, she's doing commercial lighting And then you hit this pinnacle and not only are you on the bachelorette, but then you become the bachelor Is there a struggle to grasp at significance once that season is over? Yeah, I mean, I think it's it's a struggle to grasp Well, I don't I think you don't want that fleeting moment to go away As you mentioned, this is I think I've I've always had a weird relationship with people That are critical of the bachelor and I understand why goodness. I'm not here to defend the bachelor by any means I'm here to defend people's individual life choices that bring them to the The space that they're at and believing that God is within all those but um Like I've always been really proud of that decision to say yes and to take a leap and step into something so unfamiliar and so uncomfortable But you get off the show and you don't want that Fleeting moment to go away. My prayer was God if this is not meant for me close one of the doors Tell my My have my friends tell me no my parents tell me no my work tell me no and all of them said go And so I always believed there was some purpose to it. Maybe not a big purpose, but some purpose to it And and so I get off the show and it's hard to Process Just how many people love that show 12 million people watch that show that was back then That's wild and you could run into some gas station in oklahoma in the middle of nowhere And the person behind the counter could be like hey, you're been from the bachelor and you'd be like, yes That's wild that you know who I am It really started to feel like I had friends everywhere Uh, I still kind of feels like that today So yeah, but it's hard to grasp. It's still hard to understand. There there's still moments where I'm in the grocery store With jess and walking down an aisle and somebody says ben and I turn around I'm like, oh, I should know you I don't know you and they're like i'm a fan of the show and i'm like, okay, that makes more sense That still happens and that's weird, uh, and it's awesome and it's you know expanded my life Yeah, it's expanded your life and it will expand your life for your children too So it's a good catch 22. I think sometimes that Like you said, it's in some circles. It's controversial But from your stance you're like I followed god's path and i'm using it for god's glory But I I could see I mean, you know, there was a whole period of time where you could never Become famous if you weren't already on that path Yeah, and then you know, it just seems like such a random thing. You're like a software Writer Is that cool? Yeah, it wasn't like a great line for like first dates either. It's like, what are you doing? I'm like, uh Write user manuals. I'm really cool though. I promise But god has provided because that job's priority been taken over by ai Yeah, yeah, so this is good. All right. Are you from michigan because you have a whole thing in there about the mac and aw bridge Oh, no, i'm from indiana northern indiana. So michigan is like our you know, our big sister little sister Yeah, okay. I loved it. There was like a whole section in there on the mac and aw bridge You're talking about building a bridge through your pain Can be just as well. I mean that's a whole section about building a bridge through your pain How how much do you even remember the book because you said it's been five years Since it came out and then you wrote the afterward Is it was it hard like now if you go I could imagine even people that I talked to you that Have a book that just came out. They're like, oh, I wrote it 18 months ago And sometimes I'll be like, I don't even remember what you're talking about So if you're going on a like a second media blitz because it's been re-released. Is it tricky to remember? It yeah. Oh goodness. Yes. Um, but I had her I reread it when I did the additional chapters and notes and so And that's been I completed that probably six months ago So it's been within the last 12 months that I've reread the book There's but if we were doing a blitz Obviously all these stories are ones that I've had Either personal connection with or a deep connection with I can you might have to remind me I might be like explain again what I wrote about. Um, and then I'd be like, oh, yeah, okay But most of it at this point is very fresh in my mind. Um, just because it's been within the last year that I've read it Talk to us about your podcast So I host a show for iRat radio It's hilarious. It is about pop culture and I know nothing about pop culture I have never known anything about pop culture, but I have an amazing co-host who knows everything about pop culture And I since I moved on it for going on 11 years now with iHeart. It's crazy Wow, that's like an early adopter Oh, we were we were the first iHeart podcast we used to call Three-way call with iHeart on our telephones Myself my co-host and iHeart would call they would record our phone conversations and those were our first podcast Absolutely ridiculous. So crazy. It's 11 years later Um, I think it works because of the dynamic where I've always been the out of touch like dad And she's educated me on why somebody's dating who and who they're dating. It's very bachelor focused um and bachelor spin-off focused uh, but it is It's wild when I think about it. It has been one of the biggest blessings Because I spend about it's a little more today than it used to be but it's about five to six hours a week on the podcast And it pays me like a full-time job after 11 years And so as a result all that other time i'm able to work for generous for free Um and still do it with Like full energy and full capabilities because I have this job that really has less than part-time hours that pays me full time amounts And so it's a gift. It is the coolest thing. It is 100% now I look back. I'm like goodness Jesus like you had some wild ideas. I don't know what you were thinking up there if you're like, okay This guy needs a little help. We're gonna send him on the bachelor. The bachelor is gonna lead into this He's gonna start talking about people dating and and at the same time he's gonna have a Coffee company gives 100% of his profits back and it's gonna work I I never could have thought of that. Uh, so it's pretty fun I I've enjoyed it. Yeah, you talk about starting your life feeling like you're the odd man out and here you've got all these Things going on. All right, so you're you've been a dad for just a few months Well, that's been yeah, I mean, it's almost 11 months now, which is 11 months. Yeah, it kind of hurts I I like I love the season we're at. I'm like, could you be 10 months old forever? Oh Age one is my favorite age Oh, really? It is my favorite and it goes so fast, but that's when they you know, they're really walking They're really talking it took all the new stuff 11 months in We have I I'm like in my grandma era Yeah, because I have a friend one of my closest friends. You just had her first grand kid I was like, this is so cool. So her daughter's named Mallory Mallory just had a baby What advice do you have for the new dads out there? Oh, jeez Are you there? I'm here. Sorry. I dropped you um The new dads out there. Okay. I would say slow down take some deep breaths One it is it is scary and it should be scary and it should be wild and but but It's nothing you can't overcome. Um, it's been nothing but A joy we've we've been able to figure it out along the way. We're better 11 months and then we hurt one weekend and I got a dog And because of the uh the power outage. He's home with me today. Yeah um And I and I would say just uh be where your feet are is honestly my advice at this point would be be present in the moments that you get to have because these moments are so special and It flies by and everybody says it, uh, but it does and it's It's sad at times because like I said at 10 months old. I'm like goodness. I want you to stay this way forever She's starting to mock us which is hilarious um, she's starting to laugh at us she Those sign language and so she's communicating with us um But I don't want to wish I I guess my point is I don't want to wish these moments away because they're so unique and so special and so innocent and so pure Um, and we've loved every second To get advice be where your feet are slow down Ben Higgins the only reality tv star that has ever been on the 1000 hours outside podcast the only software The only software manual writer that has ever been on our podcast a book It's called alone in plain sight searching for connection you talk about helping the reader feel us alone Your desire has always been to create space in this disorienting chaotic defeating and the lonely world And to be a light shining in the darkness we always end our show with the same question What's a favorite memory from your childhood that was outside Uh, favorite memories from my childhood that was outside. I would say it um, My grandpa had this pond Uh, that was stocked full of fish And he would take me out there with my dad and we would fish and I remember one day at the biggest bass I still think I've ever caught and I remembered the the pride That my grandpa and my dad had and me catching that finish and I'll never forget that moment of feeling like I did something super cool I love it. I love it. Ben huge congrats on all your success And thank you. What an incredible thing that you're using it to give honor to god and that your story is so powerful and continuing to impact So many thanks so much for being here. Hey, I appreciate it. Thank you As we come to the end of today's episode I want to leave you with a few simple invitations If you want a zero cost way to support the show first consider sharing this episode with friends Text it to someone who loves a bachelor and to someone who wants nothing to do with reality tv But would still deeply connect with this message tap share in your podcast app and send it off Second make sure you're following the podcast I've got a stack of incredible episodes coming and I want them to show up for you automatically when they launch Click the follow button on spotify and apple third if you never left a review Would you do it today? It takes just a minute and it helps more than you think go to the show page Tap five stars and write a sentence or two. This one came in a few days ago from ks. Bridget Thank you, jinny for your amazing show I listen multiple times a week and at this point you feel like a friend as I listen while driving or getting chores done I love the intentional and meaningful content that you provide My to be read list is stacked with books you've recommended and as you head out let the music play It's a beautiful world by in paradise featuring our daughters from two better friends It opens and ends the show for a reason it has become our anthem ain't nothing on a screen That's ever gonna beat this view. Thanks for choosing to hang out with me today until next time may you find extraordinary moments on ordinary paths Get outside open your eyes feel that sunshine kissing your skin throw your worries out to the wind Climb some trees skin your knees feel that grass on your feet again get out there and take it in Oh It's a beautiful world Ain't nothing on a screen that's ever gonna beat this view Oh It's a beautiful world And I just want to share with I just want to share with you It's a beautiful world Such a beautiful world Calling all trivia nerds britney here and I host the family road trip trivia podcast with my best friend maryth Is your next car ride looking like a snooze fest? We've got the cure three rounds of awesome trivia every week harry potter disney science sports You name it. 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