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Um, so my wife, um, has told me at the end of February that she wants to get a divorce. Um, she, I mean, we have, I feel like, normal issues in our marriage that can be fully resolved, but my big thing is that in December, she went on anti-depressants, and since then, she's been like a completely different person, and I feel like if she wasn't on them, you know, things wouldn't be, she wouldn't feel the way she feels right now. And I'm having, my question is, I don't know if the right thing to do is to let her, you know, do what she feels like she needs to do. I think she's making a mistake. Tell me how old you are, how old she is, when you started dating. Give me some background. Sure. I'm 33, she's 32. We have two kids, 10 and 4. We have been married for 11 and a half years, together for 13, I think, 12, 13. We got married, I guess, relatively young. Yes, she, uh, when you were dating, were there any concerns that you had at the time? No, no, um, things were great. Things have been overall, like I said, good. I mean, we have, like I said, common. Okay, from her frame of reference, what has she not been happy about? From her frame of reference. I know you think, you know, these are normal things people go through, but from her frame of reference. Sure. So I guess the, she says that, she wishes that, I guess I was more romantic, you know, like the, the cuddling and the snuggling and stuff like that. And, and that's why, and she says that the reason that she wants a divorce is that she doesn't feel like romantic feelings anymore. She says I didn't do anything. She says that, yes, things were good. She was happy and all this. And it just, out of the blue, you know, she just got kind of cold and cold and, well, it's not out of blue for her. She, it's not out of the blue for her. So what keeps you from being adorably romantic every day doing cute things? Well, I guess that would be my side of the, you know, our, our problems. Um, I've, for the last few years, um, I guess like our intimacy, our sex life has gone. It's gotten, I don't want to say worse. Um, and it's not that, you know, I, if I initiate, we, we will, like, I mean, it's not like she says no all the time. I know that's a lot of a problem a lot of people have. Um, but it just, she, she never wants to. Um, and when we do, okay, Ben, I'm going to be a little blunt about that. I, when men are this ignorant about women's sexuality, it's really sad. Yeah, you guys are sort of on, uh, on a low level of interest all the time. Women, especially when they have kids, hormonal shifts up and down, whatever else is going on, are generally not ready all the time. That's where the romantic stuff. So there's a lot of romantic touching and hugging and playing around without sex and then touching, hugging, kidding around with sex. And a woman is going to be more interested when there's romantic stuff that doesn't end up in sex. That's just romantic toward her. Sweet, loving, caring. Women need to be turned on. And they're not turned on just because you grab them. You know, when she tells you something like you're not romantic, I just want to hit you on the head with something. Duh, she gave you the solution. Well, she says, she says that she wishes we spend more time together than that. I make myself, from my point of view, I have tried. I don't care about your point of view. If you want to keep your woman and your kids under your roof, then you have to care about her point of view, not yours. This is not tit for tat. This is not being defensive. This is not keeping score. Your woman needs a lot of attention. There's nothing wrong with that. Gosh darn, when you guys were dating, you paid a lot of attention. And now you don't leave her cute notes. You don't come behind and just nibble on her ear and tell her you love her and she looks gorgeous. You don't say, let's put the kids to bed and watch this stupid movie with potato chips in bed. And God knows what can come from that. So you're not doing your job as a husband. From her point of view, from her point of view. All right, Ben, is there something else you'd like to ask me about? Because I feel like I'm answering you and you're being defensive. No, no, when the woman says what she said, work with it. Okay, we're not and get a good attorney. Okay, wait a minute. Put up on the screen that your therapist fired you. What does that mean? So we went to counseling after she told me that she was- Because I'm about to fire you. So it's nice to know I'm following suit here. Well, I approached our therapy from the we can work out, you know, these we have. Yes, we do. No, we both have it. No, wrong. No, you still don't get it. She's a woman. You're a man. You're not the same. And you have to be more caretaking of her emotionality. That's the reality of men and women. Don't fight it. Embrace it. Accept it. And do your job better. We have issues. I don't care about your issues, sir. You know what your woman needs and wants. Take care of it. No pride. No nonsense. No defensiveness. You're going to lose your family. So I'm the second therapist to fire you. My number 1-800-375-2872. Ask for the friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Days at 2pm east on Sirius XM Triumph 123 and on the Sirius XM app.
