1KHO 698: Out of the Flower Chair | Bart and Shannon Millard, MercyMe

Oh, it's a beautiful world Ain't nothing on the screen It's never gonna beat this view Oh, it's a beautiful world And I just wanna share it with, I just wanna share it with you It's a beautiful world Such a beautiful world Oh Hello friends, thank you for pressing play if you're new here the show is about living a more grounded more connected life in a Screen-heavy world because real life still matters and kids still need it today's episode is with Bart and Shannon Mellard Bart is from the band Mercy Me the voice behind I can only imagine I was gonna try and sing it But then I decided not to and this conversation is far more honest than you'd expect They tell the story behind what they call the flower chair a long season of grief chronic stress and quiet disengagement and how healing actually began to counseling community And the kind of grace that meets you on your worst day before we jump in to follow on Apple podcasts or Spotify So new episodes will show up automatically in your feed It takes just a few seconds and it is the easiest way to support this show And if this episode hits close to home send it off to one person these conversations don't spread because of algorithms They spread because someone text a link All right here we go. This is out of the flower chair with Bart and Shannon Mellard Marches when homeschool families start looking ahead you can almost see the finish line spring goals end of your milestones Maybe even testing around the corner and this is such an important time to reinforce key skills and build confidence before wrapping up the year If you are thinking about assessments whether required by your state or simply the benchmarks you set for your family It's awful to have a tool that makes review simple and clear that's where I XL can really shine I XL is an award-winning online learning platform that fits seamlessly into homeschooling It offers interactive practice across math language art science and social studies from pre K through 12th grade A person lives is learning for each child keeps them engaged and gives parents clear insight into progress What stands out this time of year is a real-time feedback and progress tracking Kids get instant explanations when they miss something and parents can see exactly where growth is happening And where a little reinforcement might help It takes the guesswork out of finishing strong make an impact on your child's learning get I XL now and 1000 hours outside listeners Can get an exclusive 20% off I XL membership when they sign up today at I XL calm slash 1000 hours visit I XL calm Sash 1000 hours to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price Welcome to 1000 hours outside podcast my name is Jenny Eardt I'm the founder of 1000 hours outside and you're never going to believe who is here today The singer of I can only imagine and his wife Bart and Shannon Mellard They've got a new book out and a new movie coming and going on to it in March. Welcome to you both Thank you for having us This is our might be one of our first that we've done together. Yeah, we don't Yeah, I love that you're doing it together This book is fantastic. I took so many notes on it and you're really talking in this book about trials And you have this almost like severing year 2004 where this thing after thing trial after trial after trial comes And you're showing through your book and the movie I can only imagine two Both things are coming out in February and I'll put links, but you're showing God's goodness. This is what you write We want to present personal evidence of God's goodness amid our humanity and in the middle of armass So it's just such a beautiful book Shannon I love to kick it off with you I have a similar story to you you say you became a Christ follower when you were young You know a little kid first grade And you like follow Christ and you're like, you know, he's got good promises for us and and you hit high school I remember this too and people come in they've got these testimonies They're like I hit rock bottom and you're like wait, am I doing something wrong? You know, I haven't really had a moment like that Maybe I don't even have a testimony. Can you talk because sometimes kids listening with their parents about the beauty of just following Jesus from the beginning Sure Um, it was a journey to get there But Now I can sit in the seat and say I'm really thankful for the protection of my parents Raising me in that because I thought I was protected from a lot of things. I didn't realize and um It may have been more difficult for me to see that he was good because I'm comparing kids that have a little a life-serving moment of I didn't know what God who God was and that he was good and then he changed me and I'm this miraculous new person Physically like we see the transformation. Yeah, and for me I think that was the battle is like I didn't see a massive transformation, but My best friends that it's so good and it stuck with me forever that when I accepted Christ as a child It was like putting on my dad's t-shirt and knew as my dad's and it felt really good But I didn't quite understand everything involved as who he was as a person And then as I grew it it started to fit better And then I started to know more and I just started to feel it became more special and and so that just was a visual They was like oh, I'm really grateful for my journey Yeah, I love that and I think it's a a good message to young people Because you can't have that be your testimony your testimony is a testimony of God's faithfulness from the beginning So you have this book even if this is based off of a song that you had that came out recently through Mercy Me And it's just gone incredibly well even if has and you talk about this year 2004 And you even said Jen and like up until this point it had felt a bit like a utopia And then you have this year where it was just thing after thing After thing it starts with Shannon your younger brother passes away suddenly And you know, there's a car accident and then your toddler um is diagnosed with He becomes a type one diabetic It was a really young age and it was just thing after thing after thing You say we literally divide our life into pre 2004 and post 2004 because our journey took a turn We never saw coming we were blindsided when everything I mean everything changed At what point did you decide to take this story and put it into a book and make the second movie All right, well, I Yeah, it's kind of it's I love how it turned out like originally I was I wrote a book for the first movie I can't imagine and that came out of I don't know if you're like me, but like if I see a true story on film on at the theater I'm usually googling what else happened immediately afterwards like I'm dying to know more about it Yeah, like a world war two movie or whatever And so in the middle of making that first movie I you know, I wasn't used to how It makes sense now, but you're taking most of my life and trying to compress into two hours And so you know timelines get changed and all that kind of stuff And so I found myself explaining to people like well what really happened it went this way or whatever And so I said man you should write a book Uh, just kind of giving you a chance to You know like when my mom left in the first movie to explain there's more to that story and And so that's and and it was very therapeutic to do that Throughout the making of the first movie and enjoyed it so much that the opportunity came up for this time around And in the first book Sorry for the long answer of it Shannon would have there be like I the book was mostly me and then it would say from Shannon's perspective and like she wouldn't Say something like a page or whatever And Robert Nolan the guy that writes with us that's kind of holds her hand. It's an incredible writer This time around we were kind of approaching it the same way and he was like hey man He has no offense to you, but Shannon's bringing some wisdom He's like I think she's a co-writer on this book because he found himself just going back to that well over and over More like she didn't deserve just a page at the end of each chapter And so that's why she's like maybe you should answer because like She became an author just in they what she started pouring into this book and and and you know You got to point when I would say with Robert and we'd write some stuff He would get really excited about can't wait to hear Shannon's perspective. I'm like Dude her name needs to be on the front of this book like she is co-writing this book So that's how it came about and uh and was and it was funny because like while I was on tour We were so busy there be times to where Robert would get on the phone with me and he would like like because like I would Said and ultimately like I'm talking through everything And if they were waiting on me to actually write it it would never happen And so Robert was transcribing everything I was saying And so he would call me on the road going hey, I've got 20 more pages And um he would literally read them to me over the phone and I was like all right I get to Shannon's far like I found myself excited about like what she was saying on it And so yeah was super excited when and it was actually I we because I probably didn't know I had had the space to say Hey, my wife should be a co-author, but when the publishing company came back and said hey, what do you think? I was like oh yeah totally. I didn't I would have brought it up I thought that I didn't know how that worked and they're like man She's contributed just as much. She's an author on this so that's kind of how it came about and I'm glad it did I love it. I love it and it really is. It's just both of your perspectives woven together She get the side from the dad you get the side from the mom the side from the mom Shannon is You're like I've got all these young kids five kids in nine years and then you know you have this this diagnosis So as a toddler I really can't even imagine having to do the insulin shots having to check the blood And through the night and you've got other babies and other toddlers and then Bart's traveling for work because he's a musician So he's on the road a lot Can you just give some encouragement Shannon to moms who are in those early years or if anyone's listening in they have A little one that's been diagnosed as a type one diabetic like some encouragement for them For down the road and also a little bit for today Sure, I think it's pivotal that you have community around you you surround yourself with some people who can Share the load and don't be afraid to ask for it. There were times I can move into Tennessee. I was afraid to ask for help because it was a new place for me We're at home when we lived in Texas. I was surrounded just from birth by lots of people And I didn't understand the beauty of that fully like I knew and appreciated it But leaving that and having to find it yourself can be really hard And so I didn't want to ask and that's just something I've learned you still need that at no matter what you're going through You need that community of people ask for help take breaks Away from the disease because that's very hard you have to remove yourself and have Some breaks for yourself to refuel. Yeah Yeah, especially like you said I mean you're up at midnight and 3 a.m. And 6 a.m. To check on his blood sugars And then this even was difficult even heading into the teenage years where he's struggling You know your older son struggling, you know feeling depressed or why me or you know, how am I going to make it through? so there's a lot of parental guidance here from all the way from the beginning all the way through and so you get a lot out of the book as Appearance some encouragement and some inspiration the book is called even if I would love to know a little bit more about the song. So I mean, I can only imagine came out You know, I think I was in my early 20s. I mean, I caught the bug You know, I was in you know, and you said look at some point you're like I'm so sick of singing the song I sing it at all these funerals. I sing it all the time But I just remember like this is a very Different song than any other song I've ever heard you know, just the The imagining right the the thinking forward what is it going to be like and I think a lot times people think of heaven as like white clouds and boring So it's just like really a deep song sure and I you know, I mean, I could play the piano part. I mean, I love the song So There was a I read this in the book though even if I didn't know Possibly Amy Grant was gonna have the song And then she gave it back And that changed the whole course of mercy me. So can you can you talk about Why did she give it back like did you just have an idea or like what happened there? Well, we uh, we've been a band since 94 so I've gone 32 years and uh, and I wrote imagine in 99 weird independent band and The dream was to get a record deal and all that stuff and but we had we had kind of created a pretty awesome following as in the independent band and we were financially We were well, we weren't doing great, but that last independent record we made Had this song called I can only imagine on it and for us back then we um, you know, if we could sell enough CDs to pay for our phone bill because we all lived in the same house and we literally shared one cell phone and And and that's kind of how it was when this song came out That last record You know, this is back when CDs cost 20 bucks, you know, whatever and You know, we went from selling like if we sold a thousand CDs in a year that was a decent year I know it doesn't sound much, but we could pair rent and that last album did about 180,000 units out of the trunk of our car like on our own And we were like we we were able to be on salary and like our drummer's very sponsor Like our band mom. We had insurance as an independent band like we were doing great And in all this it just it called fire and so I was doing a show and I got a phone call on our one cell phone and uh and I'm I'm a he I grew up with Amy Grant fan and christian music all that and I answered the phone She was in his bar. I was like yeah, and she goes hey, this is Amy Grant and I said whatever and hung up And I because I it would be a joke that my band would play and I was like You know the bands inside about to go on like what's good? That she called right back. She's like don't hang up. It's really me don't hang up I mean she told me that she got her number and it sunk in like oh no, this is actually like I started to freak out And uh, she was like I heard this song that her manager Put in her car gave it to her and she goes I can't stop listening to it and um She was I'm about to go in the studio and I'm working on a new I in this was her You know, Amy went mainstream with baby baby and all stuff back in the day And this was her her next like kind of come back into the christian market or whatever back to her roots Is she really wanted to record imagine So of course we're independent so I was like yeah, I'm I'm not married nor do I have kids yet Well, I am married but we don't have kids, but if I do they're gonna go to college one day if Amy Grant does this and so we said yes Yeah, and out of that all these record labels started calling us because they had heard that these guys wrote Amy Grant's next big hit Like word and started getting around so we started getting record Deal offers Just from the guys that wrote this big head for Amy and her camp had already said hey, this is the song whatever make it There's a big hype around it And so we ended up signing a record deal and the idea was Amy's gonna record it make it a smash and then we're gonna be from the one The guys that wrote imagine here we are right with the plan And and it was her song we were allowed to put it on like the B side of our album just to show our version But when I say it's her song it'll go to radio like she'll take own it's hers So that was the plan so we signed and then Amy We finished our album like in a year and Amy still has barely even started and we're like what's going on? And Amy does do everything as slow as Christmas. She's never hurry So our plan the late our labels freaking out going what's like we're ready to release our whole plan shot And so we stayed in touch with her and and like hey any chance this is gonna release ever And so we released another song that was terrible at tank never did anything and and we were like We're actually better off as an independent band like this is a terrible beginning And we're about to release the second song trying to recover from bad album sales And our manager called him Her manager and said hey any chance that maybe this time around on the second single the song's gonna be done And Amy was with her got on the phone and said hey The reason we're So we slowed it down is because there's a radio station in the country that we're playing the independent version a couple years ago And they can't get over and she goes this song is huge and so she goes y'all need to finish what you started This song is going to change your life. It's yours And so she literally gave it back we scrambled Changed all of our plans within a week and then this is back me at a burn CDs and sent them to radio stations Spring has a way of filling up the calendar quickly field trips sports travel co-op which are all good things But they can make it challenging to keep curriculum learning consistent March is really about maintaining momentum while life gets busy That's right having a flexible organized learning tool can make such a difference in the final stretch of the homeschool year ixl is designed to fit into your routine not complicated ixl is an award-winning online learning platform offering interactive practice in math language arts science and social studies From pre-k through 12th grade it adapts to each child's level keeps it motivated and gives parents clear visibility into progress What I especially appreciate this time of year is how simple and time-saving it is Everything is organized by grade and subject so you can jump right into exactly what your child needs Whether that's reinforcing a concept before testing or Confidently moving ahead the clear explanations and visible progress markers help kids stay encouraged as they work toward year end goals Make an impact on your child's learning get ixl now and when thousand hours outside listeners can get an exclusive 20% off ixl membership When they sign up today at ixl.com slash 1000 hours visit ixl.com slash 1000 hours to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price Okay, I have been waiting to say this wound bikes is the official 2026 bike partner of 1000 hours outside and it just makes sense because here's what I know when kids fall in love with riding bikes Something shifts they go from hesitant to flying down the sidewalk with total confidence and that confidence spills into everything else These bikes are lightweight thoughtfully designed and built so kids can actually succeed the brakes fit their hands The geometry fits their 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goals End of your milestones maybe even testing around the corner And this is such an important time to reinforce key skills and build confidence before wrapping up the year If you are thinking about assessments whether required by your state or simply the benchmarks you set for your family It's awful to have a tool that makes review simple and clear That's where I XL can really shine I XL is an award-winning online learning platform that fits seamlessly into homeschooling It offers interactive practice across math language art science and social studies from pre-K through 12th grade A person lives is learning for each child keeps them engaged and gives parents clear insight into progress What stands out this time of year is a real-time feedback and progress tracking Kids get instant explanations when they miss something and parents can see exactly where growth is happening And where a little reinforcement might help it takes the guesswork out of finishing strong make an impact on your child's learning Get I XL now and 1000 hours outside listeners can get an exclusive 20% off I XL membership when they sign up today at I XL.com slash 1000 hours visit I XL.com slash 1000 hours to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price We spent the whole week sending saying give us one more week because our new song was about to drop We sent it out the next week It just blew up and we went from Conselony records to you know Like quadruple platinum on that first on that first album all because she gave it back and she you know and She's a huge part of the story in the first movie and she's one of my dear friends and And you know people just don't do that and uh and she literally changed our lives forever and and uh Yeah, and now she's gonna have to sing in my kids weddings and stuff from now on Wow, what a story You mean the book is really showcasing how God shows up, you know, and the movies to my mom is such a huge fan too I was telling her yesterday I was like guess who I'm interviewing tomorrow She was like I loved the first movie. She's so excited about the second one Good god shows up and and you have these just moments that Maybe seem like they're small at the time, but just end up changing the whole course of your life And in the 30 year history of mercy me everything changed for us in January when January of when would it have been 2002? Uh, you mean when the song came out when I can only imagine hit number one Yeah, yeah, it would have been like oh yeah, oh too. I think it's right. Yeah When I can only imagine hit number one on the Christian music charts So then obviously it hits number one and Bart then you talk about how Okay, now all of a sudden there is just this onslaught of people wanting you to come perform You have more people asking your band to perform than you have days in the year and As amazing as that might sound it also Shannon puts you in a hard spot, right? Because you've got a bunch of little kids So can you talk through this season of struggling through that with young kids and Bart you're on the road and it's just kind of a little easy to be disconnected It's a little easy to not know what the routine is at home And then you know sort of the coming and going of that How did you manage to keep your marriage together? Oh, we live we're separate now getting You guys can you This is like you know, this is like the flower chair, you know, this isn't the movie the flower chair I mean, I think there's a lot I guess what I'm trying to get to is there's a lot of tendency I think I'm not trying I'm like I'm painting with a broad brush But sometimes dad's disengage Sure, and you know, they can throw themselves into work and they can say like you said you know We've got five kids and Shannon you say to you're like there's a lot of mouse to feed There's a lot of people to support So you want it you want it the business But then on the other hand it does make it really hard if you're the mom that's at home And you've got all these small kids to Make it through that season Sure. Yeah, I mean You there's obviously a struggle with resentment and you have to just stay grounded and what's what's the point and what's the focus? And the focus is we have a ministry that points people to Jesus and I and it it is a hard for a mom to find where's my place in that And I just had a lot of people reminded me Every day really that you are part of this like you can't do this if you can't do the your part I think that helped me just say oh yeah, okay. I trust that and I'm gonna keep doing that It was hard, but we just chose to support each other Yeah, so then Bart how did you It makes them changes because you said you know, you would just sit in the chair and kind of like you're You're zoning out a little bit. I mean, it's got to be overwhelming too, you know traveling Like that that extent is exhausting and you know, you've got all sorts of people I would imagine pulling from you for this this you know, almost like you can get used a bit I would imagine like they want you for this event and that thing and that's gonna drop people in for their thing So finding the balance there, but you said I just went into that life pass by without anyone noticing I wasn't taking part How did you pull yourself out of that? man Yeah, that that flower chair is no joke like that's even to this day if like I'm struggling, you know Channel say like are you back in the flower chair? It's it almost became a character in itself in the movie because it's That represented like I would just sit there when I was in through this depression especially after oh four when Sam was diagnosed We had you know, you know loved ones pass over just a hard season And when I say in the flower chair, we're talking Sam was two and oh four when he was diagnosed And I probably didn't get out of it until he was 15 or 16 We're talking years of just of like sitting there and kid climbing all over me and me not even noticing and Shanting being a single mom that whole time and and it was it it It got to a point to where it Pretty much rock bottom like it was like like why Shannon didn't just say you know what? I'm already doing on my own. I'll just keep you know, you know instead of six children I could leave you and just go back to five is what it felt like and I just had a massive wake up call and I think the biggest part was um um, I mean All the credit goes to Shannon. I'm not giving up on me, but she eventually we decided to go to grief counseling To deal with and it's funny because we I think back then We would say it was to deal with the loss of her brother, which a huge part of it was I don't think we really ever voiced It's this sense of and because it was early on but walking into this new normal of this chronic illness that never goes away We're insulin's life support and you know, it's not like well if he loses a few pounds It's gonna go away. Nope. This is this is it. Let's be kind of curious is it And it's overwhelming, but at the same time you've got this voice in your head saying it could be worse So maybe we don't complain too much because it's not cancer or whatever and and so and I think that goes for a lot of People dealing with kids with chronic illnesses or themselves like they feel like they shouldn't They don't have a voice to say anything because they always think well it could have been worse and we're learning that with this Be just in the screenings we've done already people in tears saying I feel seen and heard like You know But I'll get back to that there's one story. I want to tell you but yeah this We I agreed to go to grief counseling because like I mean I was I was up to like 370 pounds like I was just in bad shape and and actually Shannon was going to counseling actually and And she and I wouldn't I was like You know, I was like I don't think that's for me. You know kind of grew up like I'm the man and You know Jesus all I need how can counseling help which was so sad And so she wanted me to come and hear about Shannon's progress. So I was that's what I thought I was doing So I sit down. I'm like all right and and as soon as they start talking our therapist was like She asked me something about childhood that Shannon was like I'm gonna run to the restroom real quick and all of a sudden I realized I'm in my own dang session. I got ambush And then and that session that that one session I mean it wrecked me it opened so much within maybe a 30 to maybe an hour session that I just kept coming back and coming back and and and I just I got this this new gosh I just start understanding what grace is and and my identity in Christ and and You know the biggest thing for me growing up in the church and a kind of a legalistic situation where I thought I if I if I'm good enough If I do x, y and z Then I'm gonna be rewarded to Hearing to hearing someone tell me you know on your worst possible day because you know Jesus He still sees you as holy He's still pleased with you on your worst day because it's not about how you perform It's not about what you do that doesn't define your identity and it was like discovering fire for the first time ever and and it just set us off on this journey to where it's it that Shannon's faithfulness and that pulled me out of the chair and not just pulled me out of the chair, but it was like It just kind of changed the way I looked at parenting and being a husband and and and coincidentally that was like About the same time that this person I wasn't my did to make the first movie they approached me that same year And it took eight years to get that movie released and in those eight years I was unrelated Getting healthy emotionally and spiritually and and even physically To where I could never have been a part of any of this if that hadn't have happened There's very much a god thing to where about a time to move you released. We were in a really healthy place to tell the story because We were we we love the how the ending is and how it turns out and so yeah, but it was Yeah, I'm a I'm a full supporter of counseling and therapy and getting help and talking to other people isolation is the worst thing Is the worst thing that happened to you when you feel like you're the only one and then I should be able to take it as myself because it's It's overwhelming. That's why it's overwhelming in the first place. It's too hard And you had gone through so much going all the way back to your childhood where you know you talk about and this is in the first movie your mom drops you off at summer camp and then leaves and you're with your dad and He's got his own problem. So there's a lot to deal with and then you had I mean it was so many things Into 2005 where you have this reaction you get this arthritis thing and like you know Shannon's got to like help you get dressed and you know You had several close family members that passed away so Yeah, you can see how yeah, that would really help you had a lot to work through my favorite line of the whole book And even if is the line where you know because you just said you're like You didn't really get out of the flower chair It's the people watch the movie they'll see the flower chair like until your oldest was 15 or 16 years old and At that point you might think well, I'm too late And you know, you have this this beautiful part of the story where sort of Sam comes into his own He is singing on your tour, which is such a cool thing Well, I've been learning this whole year about family economies And now like this is you know how people used to do it right? They've got their own talents in their family And they kind of like bring the kids up through it and they you're like it's like what the hobby lobby guy does It's like you allow them to shine in their own way in what you've built Anyway, so I love reading about this in your book, but this was my favorite line You're you're you're crying you know, he's your speechless. He's singing because he lives And you didn't know he was gonna be doing it and he didn't know you didn't know he was gonna be doing it And you say his performance was okay The tears were also because I love his voice that much the voice of that diabetic kid. I thought I had a ruined Oh, it's like such a line like doesn't every parent go through these periods of times even long periods of times where they're like I just ruined my kid, you know, I ruined my kid. I wasn't there Yeah, you know, I should have done more like those voices ever great So I was like an incredible My favorite line in the book. It's fantastic book even if you were gonna say Bart though that people have probably seen like a Pre-screener type things they've already seen it it comes out on February 20th So everyone can go get their tickets. I'm gonna watch it with my mom The book comes out on February 3rd But people have seen a pre-screening and you've already heard back stories from them and I think you were gonna tell one Yeah, but the the thing that In the first movie it being a father-son thing. I was so I mean I'm I do ministry. I'm in a Christian band for so long and I got so wrapped up in the making in the movie That the first when the first movie released and I set with a live audience I just forgot about the ministry aspect of these dads that wouldn't lead the theaters like you get their son on the phone things like that And I was just like well, like it somehow it it I forgot and I was like you would think that would be the first thing I was thinking of but I was just in a different place and this time around I've been trying trying to be more aware And uh, and it's funny as aware as I could possibly be of oh, this is what I'm gonna hear back from people They kind of got me again, it surprised me because We've done several screenings and if there's time I can stay and talk afterwards and there's three But people would come and say hey, I've got a kid with diabetes and and You you got it right we don't lines gay doesn't think there's ever been a movie that's really addressed diabetes like this and and and to hear people say I feel seen or I feel heard because you you got the the minute things correct in our daily routine and And uh and then another lady came up and well the one that got me was a lady walked up actually was standing next to her hearing the diabetic story and she goes It's not just diabetes. It's it's anything chronic that doesn't go away And she was staying there with her daughter who has Down syndrome and her daughter's probably an adult because there's an older mom And she's saying in front of her and she goes I this is a joy of my life I love her with everything and she goes but I have days when I know She's never moving out. She's never going to get married She's never doing things that you dream of for your daughter and she's in tears and smiling at the same time She goes I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I have days To and it's just too hard and I just want to step away and scream in my closet When I was a kid my grandpa had a room where he took apart all sorts of electronics Seeing all the parts everywhere is so exciting Today as a parent try and trace kids in a world of screens I think about how exciting hands on learning can be it can feel exhausting trying to offer something more compelling than a device That is why KiwiCo has been such a gift We chose one of their science and engineering crates and the projects we build together turned our kitchen table into a mini Innovation lab there were moments of frustration and that's actually what I love most my child had to think Adjust try again and when it finally clicked Peer pride it felt different from other activities because it wasn't passive They required creativity and persistence and I didn't have to do research source supplies or plan a thing It just arrived at our door ready to go KiwiCo makes it easy to build skills over time robotics engineering art techniques all while kids are having fun And there's no commitment so you can pause or cancel anytime We're already looking forward to our next crate I love giving my kids opportunities to discover what they're capable of and honestly these make incredible gifts to Tinker create and innovate with KiwiCo get up to 50% off your first monthly crate at kiwiCo.com code 1000 hours that's up to 50% off your first crate at k iw i c o dot com code 1000 hours panda crate is an exception seasite for details So and then I and it doesn't mean I'd love her any less. It doesn't mean I want traded She was in it litter. There's a line this in the new movie. I keep writing my journal. This doesn't go away Tell my diabetes right but these people that and She even said she was like, you know, this is it's not cancer. It's like You know, I didn't lose my child and so these voices in my head or telling me don't speak up. It could be worse You know, it's you know, it could always be worse and so she goes so I felt silenced by that by the guilt of You know, I should be grateful and she goes and I am grateful and she goes but she goes I just I felt heard Because there's you know, I want to complain and say god. This is so hard But that's all it sounds like is just me complaining when it could be so much worse and in her daughter is embracing her the whole conversation Doesn't let go loves her, you know Unconditionally She's saying in front of her and and she even said yes Sometimes my mom needs a break for me and and they laugh together and it just it it warmed my heart and broke my heart because like gosh that what an unconditional Selfless person who adores her daughter but also it broke my heart because she's like I beat myself up when I have those moments of like god. I can't take it. I was like every mom needs a break Like every you know just to get away for a second just so you come back a better parent and I didn't see that coming for just people that have these these Not just illnesses, but things like that to where it could be worse, but they just kind of chip at you slowly Slowly like a mosquito and you're camping tent. It's like it's like ah and and they and to hear people say man I Related to this like I feel like you represented me So more than just a diabetic child was super encouraging and and I've heard that more than anything There's obviously there's a father-son element, but what I'm hearing right now are these moms and parents are like I've had the diabetic kid and And I didn't think it was and I didn't I feel bad for complaining like who can't relate to that Yeah, I mean and there's so many ways to relate you know if if you just if you can't take it away from your child And so you have to walk alongside them We've got these really good friends named Aubrey and Jen and their daughter has got scoliosis and it's pretty severe And you know they wrote this song about how You know when you cry yourself to sleep my tears will keep yours company. It's something like that Hopefully I didn't just butcher it But you know, it's it's the fact of like you know, we will weep together we will walk together we will heal together But you can't take it away and so yeah any parent listening who is in a situation like that You know you even said at the beginning Bart that you know so Shannon's home with the kids You're it was your mom. I think Shannon or or Bart's mom someone's mom is like I think you know He's drinking all this milk is something's wrong And Bart you were like oh, yeah, well, you know, we'll fix it But then you find out like no, this is for life You didn't know and I think yeah a lot of parents are in the situation where you can't fix it It's not gonna change and so um and so this is the song even if even if you don't Um, it's a beautiful song. So what a fantastic sequel You know that the stories that we've together and I just think it's a wonderful thing that you both books and both movies Out in February and I'm sure that more and more stories are gonna start to roll in We are really good friends with this couple Dustin and Sarah Lally Dustin is the leading singer of a band sink this real and they're like dear friends of ours We went on tour with them a year ago and they did the music for it and We saw this guy Tim Timmans when we went and saw sink this real perform one time and I you know I we saw once and he was like super energetic and like really personable and um like he I think he did like all the emcee and anyway That was the only time I've ever seen him and then he's like got a starring role in the book and the movie So that was a cool thing can you just talk a quick bit Let's talk a quick bit about a couple things that people can't anticipate for the movie. So the flower chair is one Tim Timmans he's he's got a starring role. I mean he's played by somebody else, but yeah My love and Amelia from this is us and Gilmore girls away replaced him So Got an upmaid Well, it's so it's so Shannon you were talking about how their family really Was a blessing to your family like you you cook getting the same small group you've moved to Tennessee And you become really close so um Tim writes an ex on his wrist You know, he's just so thankful for every day that he's alive because he had cancer and they given him Only a certain amount of time to live so anything else you want to add about Tim. He's got a he's got a role in the movie Yeah, he's a huge part of the music. Yeah, he's I mean Tim the we co-wrote the song even if and so when they were Trying to figure out, you know, originally they wanted It wasn't gonna be a sequel the a producer wanted to make a song a movie around the song even if like even if we have to find Fan mail or some other story they just love the song and And when they asked where to come from is when they realized oh wait, this is the story and Tim's a huge part of that like a Tim was the one when talking about when You know with Sam's diabetes and and it's how it just chips away to every day you know Tim was Either the right place or wrong place the right time. I don't know But I had a writing session with Tim and it's one of those days to where I just snapped and everything the levy broke And I just went off about how I'm tired of people thinking I'm this professional Christian that that It has it all together when I don't and just ranted and And by the end we never wrote he think his Tim is always pretty goofy and he's like a puppy dog and And he started playing music while I was going off and so upset It sound like the rapid-up music at the end of an award show speech and it kind of took me off So I was like, you know, we're not writing and I left and he sent me what he was doing was playing a song that he sent me a voice Mimony because man, I've been trying to write the song you've been talking about for five years Because I had forgotten I'm center saying stuff like you don't know what I'm going through forgetting I'm talking to a guy with cancer And and just didn't slip it slipped my mind and so he sent me the course to even if and it wrecked me and finished it and like the next day or two and and and and yeah, so he's a huge part of the story he was When you know, I'm playing more of the role of a doctor than being a friend or I don't I I'm careful I'd say friend or parent because being a doctor is part of being a parent But you know just you know Sam I learned in the interviews my son his perspective was like man My dad would be it's be the best time with my the other four siblings or whatever you know at that time I guess a couple But to me it was like don't eat this eat that take your shot And and it was hard on him to see this fun guy that turned into Dr. Dad with him and I didn't realize that so I heard the interviews but But I was resting with it too. Well Tim When he I met him we went on tour he became not just on the road But they ended up moving in Nashville and just we did life together Tim Tim I think acknowledged and saw the strain between my son and myself probably quicker than I did But he saw that we both had a love for music and so Tim was the You know, he was kind of that guy we we jokingly caught the father of the bride syndrome I don't know if you saw the movie where Steve Martin tells his daughter hey, you need it's cold outside. You should wear a jagged She's like whatever dad blows him off then the fiancee comes down said the same thing she's like you're right It's a blizzard I should get the code Sometimes we're saying the same thing but it needs to be heard by somebody else Tim was that voice and he poured into Sam and his music when maybe I couldn't have at the time Whether it was me or Sam we just wore a different place and so this story is about how Sam He was the ray of hope that kind of bridged that relationship and you know and and how Yeah, just it's it's like all three relationships brought healing to each other and that's the beautiful part of the story And yet to be a huge part of the movie and it's a and I think that's why we're most excited We've done the movie thing and when I heard it was gonna be one talking about us and Tim and that I would be able to walk through this with him I think I got more excited about that. I was like this is gonna be a blast. He didn't has been oh I love it and you and Sam says Sam because Sam writes in the book too There's actually there's three people writing in the book It's the two of you and also Sam he's got his own parts and he said that Tim is such a great listener You know, he became this mentor and disciple or to Sam that's what you wrote Shannon and started encouraging Sam in his music In a way no one else could it's like you can take so many parts of your story and say do I have a mentor in in our life for our older teen Like is there someone they can talk to you? Is there someone that will listen to them? There's just so many takeaways It is a fantastic book you said even if charted even faster than I can only imagine so wonderful songs to listen to come Listen come to your tour go see the movie grab both books grab watch both movies can we wrap it up with the name Mercy me. I actually love this. I didn't know where came from I didn't know But my grandma always said Lord willing and I was like would that be a good band name? I don't know it doesn't have I never said it probably would have been our band name Can you do this tells real quick the story? I love it. Yeah, I was uh I moved away from home in Dallas to go to school in Florida and working a church and I found myself not going to class at all just just this is before cell phones And so we had the landline and she was confused because no matter when she called I always answer the phone She was like do you ever go to class? What are you doing? Oh, you're always home and I jokingly said because I'd start to work With like a praise band for the first time in this church and I was like I think I'm gonna start a band That sounds I think I'm gonna do that I it's it's second I come with a band name. We're gonna take this place over joking Is she literally said well mercy me why don't you get a real job? And I was like well, I got the band name at least and uh Hey, I just did an interview before this and she was like What do you think like and it was a very Very religious thing program and she was like does it are you happy the way it came out or would it be better to like the gods mercy and me? I was like no, it's exactly what it is I would never be the god of be that serious. That's the funniest thing ever and it's like one of my favorite people in the world name the band I love it. Mama Lindsey She's the godliest woman I've ever known we always end her show if you can give me like a quick thing What's a favorite memory from your childhood that was outside and then I'll hang up That was outside yeah Favorite memory. I was my favorite one my last thing was when I thought I was Uh, I thought I was Peter Pan and tried to jump off the roof of the house And uh not work out at all it did not I am not Peter Pan and Grabbing him. I'm herbal. Grabbing it very very real But I but I was dumb enough to try twice I didn't get heard so I was I mean I don't I didn't break a leg. I just remember I was I was determined that it was going to work And my brother had umbrella. He had to be very pop into How cool the umbrella probably doesn't help too much either right right. Yeah, did you have one? Um, I think just being free outside riding my bike and we would make mudpuzz all the time like We would make food out of mud and that was awesome It is awesome Well, use congratulations to the two of you The book is fantastic even if this comes out February 3rd The movie February 20th go see it mercy me goes on to it and march what an honor. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having us Thank you so much for listening There's a lot in this conversation grief chronic stress marriage under pressure And what it looks like to get help and keep going if you know someone who would connect with that send them this episode Two quick things that genuinely help this podcast grow first to follow on the show on apple podcast It's right at the top of the show page on Spotify hit follow or the plus sign Following is how this show becomes part of your rhythm and it signals to the algorithm that this episode matters It's like in chair this episode with one person who needs it a friend in the thick of parenting a spouse who's burnt out Someone caring grief someone dealing with chronic stress Texted that one chair is how we reach new listeners and if you've never left a review a short one helps more than you think I love how diverse the guess and topics are on this show came in just the other day and it was super encouraging I'm really glad you're here until next time. They you find extraordinary moments and ordinary paths Ain't nothing on the screen is ever gonna be this view Oh Beautiful And I just want to share with I just want to share with you It's beautiful Such a beautiful world