Lemonada. for the grown-ups. Hey, grown-ups. Lee here. See Story Pirates Live! Our amazing touring cast, including Eric, will be visiting some East Coast cities this spring to perform some of your favorite songs from the podcast. And they'll take suggestions from kids in the audience to create a brand new story that will only be seen once. Best of all, all of our upcoming shows are on weekends, so no need to worry about school nights or bedtime routines. We'll see you soon in Munhall, Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Ohio, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Medford, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, and Ridgefield, Connecticut. Tickets to all the shows are on sale now at storypirates.com slash live. I love story pirates It just filled me up with joy My mom loves the jokes Yo, yo, my jokes It made me very proud about my sighting Yeah, we're just getting like really deep into like, I want to say philosophy I definitely think I can be more creative now I'm the champion The story pirates Oh, hey! Have you ever thought that a movie that you love should have a different ending than it does? What if you could change it from the inside? Find out if it's possible in today's news story. Here's the author to introduce it. Hi, I'm Logan. I live in Texas and I'm 10 years old. This is my story, Farmageddon. Ethan! Nathan! It's 8 a.m. on August 14th, 2002, which means it's time to watch a movie. Nathan picked the movie last time, so it's Ethan's turn to choose. I choose Farm Life. Aw, you always choose Farm Life. The ending makes no sense. Well, you always pick something unhinged. It's 2002. All movies are utterly unhinged. That's true. But Ethan chose farm life, so that's what we're watching. Farm life, farm life, it's a film that'll laugh on the farm. Love the theme song. Life these days is all hustle and bustle. What if you could go back to a simpler time, a time when everyone was a farmer, even my little baby over there. They do. Harvest. I love the wonders of farm life. Ugh, this part is so boring. Shhh, I'm trying to hear the hour-long monologue. And thus concludes my hour-long monologue about how great farm life is. One thing I've been wondering, though. It's a little weird that everyone in this place is a farmer, no? Why is that? Because of me! The evil warlock, Levo! That's right, you're all farmers because I cursed you to be farmers for all eternity! No! And there's no way to stop me. Unless you come to my evil lair at Clevo Mountain and enter the passcode 4BAB. Oops, I shouldn't have said that out loud. End the movie! Huh? What do you mean, end the movie? Ugh, the movie just ends right in the middle of the farmer's sentence. There aren't even any end credits. I wish real life could be more like farm life, including the part where you aren't in it. Ethan, that's a very mean thing to say to your brother. Apologize. Sorry, Nathan. I know you wish farm life were real life, but that isn't possible. Now go to your room and clean up this old lamp I bought at the haunted antique store. Okay, Mom. Maybe I shouldn't have said that to Nathan. But maybe he shouldn't have been so mean about the movie. Well, I guess I'd better clean this lamp. You have awoken the genie of the lamp. I'm here to grant you a wish. But before you do, think long and... I wish the movie Farm Life were real. Oh my goodness. Everything went dark. Where am I? The movie's starting. Farm Life, Farm Life. It's a film about a laugh on the farm. I can see the opening credits. I can actually reach out and touch them. I really am in the movie. Here comes the monologuing farmer. Laugh these days is all hustle and bustle. What if you could go back to a simpler time? A time when everyone was a farmer. Genie, because I'm in the movie now, does that mean I'm a farmer too? It does. But not forever, right? Well, I suppose you could leave farm life at the end of the movie. But this movie has no ending. What? Welcome to Farmageddon! That's pretty clever wordplay. A little too clever for a genie. Let me see that mustache. Hey, don't touch my real mustache. Oh, my fake mustache. Oops, you're the evil warlock Clevo. Too late. You're trapped in this movie forever. Unless, of course, you find a way to write an actual ending to the movie. Something exciting like, oh, I don't know, finding your way into my secret lair and defeating me. So that's how I leave the movie. Oh Clevo come on man Still you never find my lair And even if you find it good luck getting inside Clock ticking You have one hour until farmageddon He disappeared. One hour until farmageddon? What does that even mean? No time. I gotta find his lair. Maybe that farmer knows where it is. Farm life is a wonderful life. Getting up with the sun in the morning. Um, I don't really have time for an hour-long monologue. I'm in kind of a hurry. From the moment the rooster calls until the sun drops. Okay, so the farmer's a no-go. Um, think, Ethan. Think back to the movie. Unless you come to my evil lair at Clevo Mountain. That's it. Now I just have to find it and stop Farmageddon. But why stop it when you can join us, Ethan? Huh? Are you talking to me? That never happened in the movie. Join us. Come and joy. The wonders of farm life. He's acting like a zombie. Farm life! Ah, run away! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Phew, I made it to... My house? Why is my house in the movie? Oh, there's mom in the front yard! Ethan, what's wrong? I made a wish on that lamp for everything to be like farm life, but it turns out the genie was the evil warlock Clevo, and now we're stuck in the movie with no ending! Slow down! And help your brother till this soil! Come, brother, farm with me! But you hate farm life. I've always loved the wonders of farm life. Not you guys, too. Run away! Farm life! Oh, I've just got to find Clevo Mountain. But how? I can't even see past that giant mountain in front of me. Wait a minute. I found it. There's a door right here. I just need to figure out the passcode. What did they say in the movie? And enter the passcode 4BAB. 4-B-A-B! It worked! Clevo! I cracked your passcode, and I'm here to defeat you! I knew I should have set up two-factor authentication. Well, you're too late. You still have no way to defeat me. Wait, I have an idea so imaginative, it just might work. So, Clevo, this farmageddon curse, why'd you do it? Wow, really? No one ever asks the villain to monologue about their evil plan. See, when I was a young warlock, when we'd visit my little warlock cousins on the farm, they refused to let me help with the farm chores. They'd say, you can't help us. You're from the suburbs. It was then that I vowed to seek revenge. Be a farm-a-get-in. Hey, wait a minute. What are you doing? Oh, nothing. Just asking you about your plan so you'd be distracted long enough for me to find and pull these down from the ceiling. Are those the- The end credits. No! Watch your head. Good night. I defeated Clevo. And the credits, they're rolling. The movie's ending. Farm life, farm life, the end of the film, a battle up on the phone. Huh? Hey, I'm back in my room. Ethan, where have you been? I was looking for you. Nathan, it's so good to see you. Hey, I'm sorry I was so mean to you earlier. Well, I'm sorry I didn't appreciate Farm Life. It's a pretty good movie. Wanna watch? I don't really want to see it for at least 18 years. Welcome, adult Ethan, to Slacker Movie Production Studios. I'm Ted, the director of Farm Life. What can I do for you? Well, as you know, it's been 18 years since Farm Life came out, which means I think it's time to reboot the franchise. How much will that cost us? About $80,000, Mr. Filmmaker. Okay. Second question. Do you know how to write an ending to a movie? Because we don't. Roll the credits. Oh, that's how you get to... Sorry. The end. We'll be right back after a few words for the grown-ups. Hey, grown-ups. Today's episode is sponsored by Bombas. You know, people keep asking me about my 2026 resolution. and I'm like, bruh, it's February. I thought we left our New Year's resolutions in January, but then I remember the number one resolution at the top of my list, getting comfy. And that's where Bombas comes in. They're bringing serious comfort to all my everyday go-tos. This year, I've been watching the Winter Olympics a lot and I'm thinking of taking up the luge. And wow, the all-new Bombas sports socks would be perfect for that. They're cushioned where I would theoretically need it most, sweat wicking, and loaded with other tech features that I'm sure would keep me comfy and locked in on the luge track. Even more in my lane, Bombas has me covered for those everyday around-the-house resolutions with the comfiest footwear imaginable. For example, this weekend I'm planning on answering the door in my brand new Saturday Suede slip-on shoes. They give the illusion that I'm on the go, with more comfort than you could ever imagine. And underneath it, all the softest base layers that will have you rethinking your whole wardrobe. Bombas underwear and t-shirts are flexible, breathable, and buttery smooth. Premium, everyday go-tos that I won't leave the house without. And here's my favorite part. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased, one donated, with over 150 million donations, and counting. So head on over to bombas.com slash family 26 and use code family 26 for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash family 26 code family 26 at checkout. Hey grownups today episode is sponsored by DoorDash When the chaos of life hits DoorDash will be there As a parent DoorDash has always been there for me when I needed them most Like that time on February 12th, 2023, when I ordered one pack of size 2 diapers and a 9.25 ounce bag of corn chips. Because I was desperate for diapers for a baby! And also, desperate for corn chips! Sure, the diapers were more urgent, and luckily DoorDash was ready to help. I got the diapers minutes later, and my baby was all set. And I got the corn chips I was craving too. The baby did not get any corn chips. Tiny babies shouldn't eat corn chips because, for starters, they don't have any teeth. Real life needs real relief. That's why DoorDash is there for whatever you need, whenever you need it. Hey, grownups. Lee here. See Story Pirates live. Our amazing touring cast, including Eric, will be visiting some East Coast cities this spring to perform some of your favorite songs from the podcast. And they'll take suggestions from kids in the audience to create a brand new story that will only be seen once. Best of all, all of our upcoming shows are on weekends, so no need to worry about school nights or bedtime routines. We'll see you soon in Munhall, Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Ohio, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Medford, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, and Richfield, Connecticut. Tickets to all the shows are on sale now at storypirates.com slash live. Hey, welcome back to Story Love, where we read stories written by kids, and we talk about them. Hello, Peter. Hello, Lee. Would you kick it off with our first story for today? There is nothing in this world I would love to do more. Nothing? Not a single thing. Wow. Impressive. This first story comes to us from a nine-year-old from New Zealand named Elizabeth. And Elizabeth's story is called Back in My Day. I almost said back in the day. Back in my day. Back in my day. Dot, dot, dot. Oh, sorry, my satellites must have let you hear me. I'm Dr. Professor, an alien from the planet Blaryblub. As I was saying, back in my day, we actually had to find the alligators to wrestle. And dot, dot, dot, crash! Dinosaur crashes through wall with Kynes fighting it. man runs away screaming I liked the old days the end says dinosaur incredible wow so many surprises here starts with I also love how deeply in character this monologue is from the very beginning effortlessly gives us the exposition that we need to understand that this old person is an alien from another planet. Yeah, and I want to know, who is this old doctor professor talking to? Like, who is the... Whoever will listen, just like all old people. He's just like, whoever will come by! Hey you, do you want to hear about my youth? And thank goodness that this alien dystopian future, whatever this is, has dinosaurs to save us by crashing into walls to say the end. Really beautiful story. And I have to say, though, Peter, despite my comments, I think listening to stories from the elderly is one of the most interesting things you can do with your time. True. True. I love hearing about the old days. Yeah, because you know why? What? I wasn't there. Elizabeth, incredible story, my friend. All right. From 10-year-old Oslo in North Carolina, here is The Big Problems. One day in the city on Mars Mayor, we have a problem Said the mayor's assistant Here's a taco, said the mayor But the problem is But then aliens from Pluto came and kept beating everyone At Uno And they were stealing Martian coins With their new money they bought emoji masks One of them was a poop emoji Oh no Everyone was laughing Then the mayor got everyone on a giant couch And they all watched WeTube Everybody had forgotten about the problem from the beginning Except the assistant He told the mayor The problem is that your golden toilet is clogged Then the mayor gave the assistant a plunger The end P.S. WeTube is the Martian version of YouTube I loved, you know, the lowly assistant who can't get a word in Sure, sure That whole like, wait, please This is important. And then the wildest possible things happen, and we finally get to it. And what is it? A little bit of good old-fashioned toilet humor. They're kind of flipping it, you know, because usually the problem is huge that the assistant's trying to get through. And there's, like, less important things that are interrupting the assistant, right? This is the opposite. This is the opposite. A great flip on the trope. Yeah. Normally, actually, in most cases, if you just listen to the lowly assistant, and not been so high and mighty, Mayor, we would have fixed the problem early. But honestly, this is the assistant's fault. Priorities. And does the assistant need permission to get a plunger to plunge the toilet? Yeah, why does he need to tell the mayor at all? Probably because he wants it delegated elsewhere. Plunging is not fun, but everyone's got to do it sometime. Uh, here's a question, actually. It's the mayor's golden toilet. Yeah. Which says to me this is a private bathroom And there is nothing that I value more than private bathrooms As we know from the Stray Brides podcast a very persistent plot point That's not the only thing I love about the mayor in this story. I love the mayor's approach to leadership. If someone's like, we got a problem, here's a taco. Right? Just anyone who brings a problem to you, hand them a taco. That's right. And if that doesn't work, sit them on the couch and turn on YouTube. Ha ha. The toilet, here's a plunger. The best mayors know that you can't, people got to solve their own problems. Yeah, you need to empower your subordinates. That's right, to pick up the plunger. That's right. On their own. It's a great life lesson. You know what? If you're in a position to pick up the plunger, pick up that plunger. And if you can't, have a few tacos on hand at all times to hand to the people that bring you problems. That's how I run the Story Pirates. It's pretty much. We have a lot of plungers. Here's a taco. Thank you. All right. Oslo, that was amazing. Fantastic story. Peter, would you read our final story for today? Yes, I would. Our final story comes to us from a five-year-old from Illinois named Maven. And this story is called Jane and Apple Fall Down Because of the Dinosaur. All right. Jane and Apple are sisters, and they were walking home in the desert, and a big dinosaur was sleeping. And while they were quietly walking, Apple sneezed. Oh, no. And then the dinosaur woke up. And then the surprised Apple chased the dinosaur and then Mr. Paper Towel came out from behind spaghetti. And then the mom T-Rex came out. Then the mom picked up the dinosaur that was woken up and tucked them back in bed. Then the mom dinosaur chased Apple, Jane, and Mr. Paper Towel. Then a pterodactyl came out of the clouds and spread his wings and grabbed a fish and dropped it in the mom dinosaur's mouth. Apple Jane and Mrs. Paper Towel found bananas and made a car to escape and go back home. Apple and Jane made a new rule not to walk home through the desert again. The end. Probably a good idea. This is like a Dali painting to me. It's like a desert landscape. There's a paper tape. Yeah. There's spaghetti, like, hanging on a tree. And stepping out from behind that is Mr. Paper Towel. There's a dinosaur sleeping. Just the images here are amazing. The pterodactyl flying by, dropping a fish into the mouth of the mama T-Rex. That was a big moment. It doesn't say this explicitly, but I feel like that's the thing that's mollified the—is that the right word? The dinosaur mother? She's like, you woke up my baby. Oh, a fish? hope. Yeah. Exactly. Because if there's anything that we know as humans, it's beware of the sleeping dinosaur, but be extra aware of the sleeping dinosaur's mother. Never. That's the never come between a dinosaur and a dinosaur's mom. If you see a baby dinosaur on the trail, don't approach it. Back away. Because you could accidentally put yourself in between the mama dinosaur and the baby dinosaur. Absolutely. These are basic nature facts. You don't, You might not be so lucky as to have a Mr. Paper Towel just hanging out behind spaghetti nearby. For safety's sake, just stop walking home through the desert. Yeah, for sure. Take the long way through the forest. And I want to say that I don't know if this was intentional or not, but Mr. Paper Towel is hiding behind spaghetti. Mr. Paper Towel is running with Apple and Jane. And then finally the dinosaur goes to sleep and Apple, Jane, and Mrs. Paper Towel found bananas. Oh. Oh. Is there a Mrs. Paper Towel? Yes, she's here building a boat out of bananas. Not a boat, a car. And is there a Mrs. Paper Towels? Oh, boy. Maven, incredible story, my friend. Thank you so much for sending it in. To read all of today's story love stories, just head to storypirates.com. And remember, grownups, you can find an even longer version of Story Love on the Story Pirates YouTube page. That's it for today's bonus episode. Thanks to today's author, Logan. And we'll be back next week with another brand new episode. Until then, stay creative and stay kind. Bye! The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios. Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, and Lee Overtree Recording, sound design, and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City Additional production by Brett Tuvin Theme song by Bobby Lord Musical scoring by Jack Mitchell Our head writer is Peter McNerney Staff writers are Megan O'Neill and Alexis Simpson Farmageddon was adapted by Alexis Simpson Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin This episode features performances by Ben Blackman, Alison Frasca, Alexandria Iona, Justin Linville, Peter McNerney, Tony Rodriguez, and Jamie Watson Hey Peter! Hey Lee! You have got to check out this new trick I learned from this week's episode. Ooh, a new trick? Sounds fun. Watch. I just reach up here to the ceiling, and I can pull down the credits. But we already did the credits. Here they come! Huh? Good night. Peter? Peter? Peter? Peter? Peter? Peter? Thank you.
