If a cyber attack hit this week, would you cope or scramble? Cohesity recently discovered only 6% can call themselves truly resilient. Get the playbook they're using. Cohesity, resilience everywhere. It is mojo in the morning. Phone number 31329, oh no, he says that was gonna give out our old phone number. And we used to have 3132989595. I just gave that number yesterday for a telemarketing thing. It's 844-MOJO-LIVE, 844-665-6548. Text is 9500. Massage faux pas? It's listed on our sheet here as massage faux pas. And it's funny because I did not know how to spell faux pas until I saw it on the sheet. I always thought that faux pas was F-O-P-A. Was it F-A-U-X? Yeah. F-A-U-X-P-A-S. I probably didn't know. I did not know either. You had me on that. What's on grass in the 7 Mile? What is on 7 Mile? It's something that's going on on social media. What is it? I'll show you the video. Oh, okay. It just made me think of that. So what is this about, Shannon? So a girlfriend of mine owns a new med spa. And it's not a med spa. And she invited me to get a, have you ever had a, not just a normal massage, but a lymphatic drainage massage? I've been seeing these on social media. They're absolutely amazing. They're not necessarily like you go in to relax. It's to get your lymphatic system going. It's like a very specialized type of thing. And I like that kind of wellness stuff. I'm kind of into that right now. So I show up at this beautiful spa and the massage therapist was really sweet and she brought me into the room as a standard and she's like, okay, you can get, you know, take your clothes off. And she's like, I normally just leave on my underwear if I ever get a massage. That's what makes me feel the most comfortable. But she handed me two little pouches and she's like, please put these on as your undergarments. Cause I guess she was going to use some like, she was going to do cupping and all these other things. So she needed very specific pouches. So they were like little plastic pouches. And once I opened them, what it was, it looked to me like thin like face masks from the pandemic is what it looked like, but they were a little bit bigger. So it was like a black piece of like gauzy fabric and then it had two straps on either sides. So both pouches had these, this item in them. Okay. So I got two of them. So I take off my clothes and I'm like, okay, open the thing and I look at it. How in the actual hell am I supposed to put this on? I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. But if you do that, then it goes this way. And if you do it on your front, then like, it was the, so I'm trying to figure it out. One pouches for the top, one pouches for the bottom. I can't figure out what to do with them. So I'm standing there and I'm starting to panic and sweat because I'm like, she's going to come back and knock on the door and ask me if I'm ready. And I don't, I don't know how to like put these on. So I'm, I'm still trying after a couple of minutes. She comes back. She knocks really quickly and walks in and I'm just standing there butt ass naked in front of this woman that I've never met before. And I felt so dumb, but I'm like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with these two little things. Face masks essentially is what they look like to me. It was like the most awkward things always happen to me in those situations. She started to laugh and she's like, no, no, no, it's fine. I'm like, can I just wear my normal underwear? And like, I don't care if you see my boobs. You know, whatever. No, they were, I, she never explained to me what I was supposed to do with them. I'm like you in the fact that if I'm getting a massage, I don't want to take off my underwear. I don't know. I just feel like, like I'll get, it made me less creepy to them. Like if I at least have something on, like I left shorts on one time and said, I'm going to leave my, my shorts on because I just don't want to come in and can I tell you something funny about you not knowing how to put it in? Well, right away, right away, it brought up a memory of going into the dressing room. And I think it was either Macy's or Nordstrom's. I think it might have been Nordstrom's in the dressing room. And it was a smaller dressing room. And I'm trying to put on a pair of pants and the pants were way too, too small for me. They were like skinny jeans. And I'm putting them on. And as I'm putting the pants like on, I can't let like I'm like losing balance. You're jumping. And do you know that those walls are not like thick together walls? I hit the door and when I hit the door and the door is locked, it went right. And I fell out of it. You fell out. I fell out of the fricking thing. And it was bad. And this was in Amy, who runs now Jimmy Johns for Anthony, Tommy. She's his head of marketing. She was this. I go, I think I just broke. She had to come get you. No, I went in. I changed my clothes real quick. There was nobody there as a middle of the afternoon. And I'm like, I think I just broke the. Just don't worry about it. We'll call maintenance or whatever the deal is. How did the pants fit? They didn't try to say they were way too, they were way too skinny. But there's nothing worse than having to try to get dressed or undressed and do it in a way that is to make you not look like a fool. But Shannon had this happened to her at the the lymphatic massage. What's going on, Jasmine? I hate those things, Shannon. How do you do it? I don't. I can't. They just fall out while they massage me. It's so awkward. I hate it. I hate it so much. And then the bottom, I have a big butt. It doesn't even fit. I'm still thinking about how you're supposed to do it. I cannot for the life of me figure out what I was supposed to do with this. Is it a good massage, Jasmine? I mean, yeah, but it's not worth the awkwardness of putting that stupid thing. I don't even know what to call it. A mask for your down there. I don't know. And are you supposed to wear one of the things on your top? The one I got was in Europe and they made me wear it on top too. It was weird. Wow. That's wild. Very awkward. Usually I just take everything off and keep a song on or something. Same. When you do the massage and they talk about the drainage or what is it? What is it? What's draining? You know, your lymphatic system filters like all of the yuck, all of the toxins out of your body. So this just gets it moving to make sure that that is happening properly. Oh my God. I don't even know if I want to see that. It's actually, it's really, really good for you. I saw a lady on Sittacher Twitter, she got like a brush and she works her face in a certain way. Yeah, that's very kind of you. It's the other side that isn't worked and it's a complete difference. There's a very specific method of doing it. You have to do it in a certain order and yeah. I would hate to see what color my drainage looks like. What's going on, Nia? How you doing? I'm good. How are you? Fantastic. What if my drainage is basically Culver's concrete shakes? I'm sorry. Those are so good. They are so good. Oh, I love them. What's going on? Yeah, I was going to say, so my first ever time getting a massage, the lymphatic system filters. She was like, dress undressed to your comfort. And so I kept my bra and panties on, but then she came in and said, I still had to take off my bra. So I'm like, which one is it? Wow. Yeah, that's what keeps that. That's what makes you comfortable. You should be able to keep it on. Would you or Nia or Anna, would you be comfortable with a man doing a massage like that? I had that one time and I could not. Was it weird? What do you look like? I don't know. Not what you think. That's why you wouldn't come. What if he was hot? What if he was smoking hot? That would make me even more. Really? I would not be able to relax. Well, maybe you agreed. You'd be okay with it, Nia? You'd be good with that? Maybe, yeah. What would you do if you were there and you took your bra and stuff like that off and the guy walks in and it's Kevin? Oh. What do you love? Well. Can I tell you something? I went on a girls trip a couple of years ago with some girlfriends and we all went to get massages together and my one girlfriend, she was like, it is my fantasy. I'm just closing this to you. It is my fantasy to have a guy, like massage therapist and have one thing lead to another and da-da-da. So sure enough, they tell her she has a male massage therapist. She's like, oh my God, it's happening. This man walks down the stairs and he looked like Chris Farley. I about fell on the floor. I'm like, there's your fantasy. Down by the river. I went and got a pedicure when we were in Florida last and I'm at this place and it was seriously wonderful. The woman talked me. He had to pause. Wonderful. She did, she did a calf massage for me. Calf. Which she took, she literally took her hands and just sat there and rubbed by my, you know, it's the calves, right? The bottom. And she rubbed my calves and it was so freaking unbelievable. I'm not going to lie. Calf job. And she, I got a calf job. She was, she was not like attractive or anything like that. So it wasn't like. I think it was a good thing it wasn't here. But I would have married her. I'm telling you. It was the best thing I've ever, like I had the last two pedicures I've had, the one that was here in town that was amazing. And then this one. I mean, they're like, where did they go for that? It's swear to you. I would rather that than get a massage. I'd rather have that. I'd rather have my feet in my calves worked. Oh, see, I want somebody to rub my head. And my head. And I'm going, I'm going to one next week. I'm taking Lucy for her birthday. Those are amazing. What's up, Tiffany? How you doing? Good. First time long time. So my girlfriend surprised me with the calf massage. So my girlfriend surprised me with a massage because I don't really like people touching me and she was like, I just looked you with a chair massage that's supposed to be shoulders and that. And I'm like, okay, so I go and it's this really small short guy and I go in the room and I'm like, where's the chair? And so she's like, oh, you could just sit on the edge of the bed or you can lay down. And I'm like, okay, I'll just lay down. So he stood at the top of my head to do the massage. And the whole time all I could feel was his like manhood on the top of my head. No. Yeah. And so I was like, oh my gosh. So then I start talking about my girlfriend hoping that he would like move like, no, wrong body part. No, thank you. Oh my God. He was massaging you with his thing. She was like, wow. It was the worst ever. And I'm like, no, never do this thing. That's why I don't do massages. That's my first ever experience. God, first and last time I was going crazy. Hold on. Destiny was up. Destiny is mojo in the morning. Hi. Hi. What's happening? So, um, at the end of last year, me and my boyfriend went with a group of friends to a Morocco and we got our friends recommended. We get something called a hamam and it's basically like, so we didn't know what to really expect. They told us there's a massage involved in everything. So we go, we show up, they give us that little paper underwear and we're actually in the room together and they basically scrub you down like with a brush like all over your body first and then, um, and they tell you to like flip and everything. And then they put you in the room for the massage, but it was just super embarrassing. They scrub you down with a brush, like a dry brush. Yeah. Like they put all these different like scrubs on you and they just like kind of flop up your arm and you can look into it. It's really, it was the massage was nice, but the actual like scrubbing down part was that's crazy. It was, um, and we're like in front of each other. Right. So like we're like right next to each other while we're doing it. So it was definitely an experience. I don't know. I'm not comfortable enough with my body to have somebody scrub me down. You know what I mean? Like seriously, I don't want, I don't know if I want that. Although it's funny because somebody was telling me that you can go over to, I don't know if it's a Japan or wherever it is and you can get, uh, they bait, they'll, I'll give you a bath. Yeah, I do not want that. Huh? And there are guys that will go to these places. They'll go to, and I know that we've heard of bathhouses before, but it legit is like a bathhouse and they'll go in there and they get all kind of dressed into like a robe and they get into a big bathtub and the woman just like scrubbing you like, like your mom did when you were a little kid. Do you guys like taking baths? Ah, gross. The royal penis is clean. It's like, it's like stewing in your own. It's human soup. I would shower before the bath. Yeah. It's not dirty. But I just don't know if I wouldn't want to have somebody bathe me. You might. You might. Really? It looks Chelsea. I don't know. No, I honestly, Chelsea, when I had my surgery, my shoulder surgery and stuff had to help me, uh, take showers in the morning, you would think it would be like really hot, but it wasn't. There was nothing like hot about it. Like it wasn't sexy at all. Yeah, they had a bath.
