Mojo In The Morning

Second Date Update: He Paid for Everything

11 min
Apr 15, 20264 days ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

In this Second Date Update segment, Delaney calls the show after being ghosted by Colin following their first date at a Detroit Pistons game. Colin reveals he felt Delaney was selfish for not offering to pay for drinks after he covered tickets, parking, dinner, and other expenses. The hosts and callers debate dating etiquette around who should pay on first dates.

Insights
  • First date payment expectations vary significantly by gender and generation, with traditional views favoring the asker paying versus modern expectations of shared responsibility
  • Miscommunication about financial expectations can derail promising connections even when both parties enjoyed the date
  • Expensive first date activities (events with multiple spending opportunities) create ambiguous payment situations that should be clarified upfront
  • Men may interpret lack of payment offers as disinterest or selfishness, while women may view accepting paid dates as traditional dating norms
  • Explicit communication about expectations is more important than assumptions about dating conventions
Trends
Generational divide in dating payment etiquette expectations between traditional and modern approachesFirst date ghosting driven by unspoken financial expectations rather than lack of chemistryMulti-venue dates creating complex payment scenarios that expose relationship value misalignmentsGender differences in interpreting financial gestures as indicators of interest or respectShift toward expectation-setting conversations earlier in dating process
Topics
First date payment etiquetteDating communication and expectationsGender dynamics in datingGhosting and relationship rejectionTraditional vs. modern dating normsFinancial expectations in relationshipsFirst date planning and venue selectionInterpreting dating signals and interest levels
Companies
Detroit Pistons
Delaney and Colin's first date was attending a Pistons game at Little Caesars Arena in Detroit.
Little Caesars Arena
Venue where the couple attended the Pistons game and purchased food and drinks during their first date.
People
Delaney
Called the show seeking advice after being ghosted by Colin following their first date.
Colin
Delaney's date who called in to explain why he didn't pursue a second date, citing financial expectations.
Shannon
Co-host who mediated the dating dispute and offered perspective on payment expectations.
Lydia
Co-host who participated in the discussion about first date payment etiquette.
Amanda
Co-host who offered perspective that the caller shouldn't be labeled selfish.
Sean
Co-host who shared traditional views on first date payment responsibilities.
Will Ferrell
Mentioned as upcoming guest on the show; featured in promotional segment about ThanksDad podcast.
Hilary Duff
Mentioned as upcoming guest on Las Colerillas podcast episode.
Chelsea Handler
Featured in promotional segment for her podcast Dear Chelsea discussing social awareness.
Quotes
"I felt like she was a little selfish, you know? As a guy, you're expected to do your due diligence and pay for everything."
ColinMid-episode
"He asked me out and it's very expected that when a guy asked someone out that he pays for what they're doing that day."
DelaneyMid-episode
"I do think you should have given it a second chance because I also think as a woman, it's after the first date where I'm like, Oh, this guy's very nice. He did a great job. The first date, second day, I'm like, okay, my turn."
ShannonLate episode
"I think that he had expectations that were ridiculous. But she didn't get to hold it against her and not communicate it."
HostLate episode
"Whoever asks for the date, whoever asks you to dinner is the one that pays for it. It's a little fashion thing, but that's how we were raised."
Katie (Caller)Late episode
Full Transcript
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Listen to ThanksDad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Readers, Katie's finalists, publicists. We have an incredible new episode this week for you guys. We have our girl Hilary Duff in here and we can't wait for you to hear this episode. They put on Lizzie McGuire 2AM video on demand. This guy's Google- 2AM Lizzie McGuire. 2AM, whatever time it is. Lizzie McGuire and I'm- Wild, a wild batch you are with. It was like a first like closet moment for me where I was like- You're like, I don't feel like she's hot, like the rest of them. No, no, no, I was like, she's beautiful. But I'm appreciating her in a different way than these boys are. I'm not like, but- Listen to Las Colerías, thus on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's Financial Literacy Month and the podcast Eating While Broke is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future. This month, hear from top streamer Zo Spenser and venture capitalist LaKeisha Landrum Pierre as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up. There's an economic component to community striving. If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they fail. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, time now for second date update. Why are you not getting a call? Delaney's getting ghosted. Delaney, you guys went to a Pistons game. You probably saw a Cavett, the Pistons game there. And you had your first date going to a game and now he's not calling you back after that date. Yeah. Wow. What do you think is going on? Do you think that there's somebody else in his life? You think he's got somebody else going on or? I honestly don't know. I'm not really that surprised when it comes to guys, but I felt like the date went really well. So that's the only reason why I'm calling you guys because I'm genuinely confused. That's kind of wild though that guys do this a lot. This is their thing. They just kind of go on a date, have fun, you know, and then just never call back. Don't say guys, girls being this too. Oh, it's to be fair. Yeah. What was the last thing that was said when you guys said goodbye to each other? We literally said good night. He gave me a hug, very respectful, which I gave him points for. And I was like, great. Hope to see you soon. And he was like, yep. I'm telling you. He can't say anything. He wasn't. Yeah. Because I feel like if he really liked you, you guys, he would have been like, okay, let's hang out on Thursday. Or he's not being as respectful and he's giving her a kiss or something too. But the yep is kind of, let's find out what's going on. Delaney, say hello to Callan. Hey, Colin. Remember me? Hey. Callan, hey, Mojo in the morning, you're on the air with us. And Delaney called us to do second date update and wants to know what's going on. And if there's a possibility of maybe a second date. Yeah. I'm not sure. You're not sure that there's a possibility of a second date? Come on, Colin. No. Did you enjoy your first date? I mean, it was okay. I just saw it. I don't know. I just, there was just a couple of things that made me feel like it was a little off. What were the couple of things that made you feel like you were a little off? I mean, I know I just felt like, I felt like she was a little selfish, you know? Selfish. How so? Why was she selfish? I mean, you know, like, like as a guy, you're, you're expected to, you know, be selfish. You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you're expected to, you know, do your due diligence and pay for pay for everything. But I mean, I paid for everything, you know, car and parking and that kind of stuff and and tickets and food and drinks. And I think it would have been a nice gesture if she had offered to pay for, you know, one or two things. And I really would have. Dude, Delaney, Delaney, you didn't offer to do anything? Okay. Well, he asked me out and it's very expected that when a guy asked someone out that he pays for what they're doing that day. So no, I didn't offer, but that's not weird. That's normal. So wait a second. Well, how was the date? You know, how did it happen? Like he said, Hey, I want to take you to a, to a Pistons game. Yeah, we have mutual friends and he reached out to me through one of my friends and asked me out on a date to go to a Pistons game. And so he picks you up, I'm assuming, and takes you to the game. You guys go to Little Caesars and go to the game. Park and Nain Cheek. Yeah. He, yeah, we go to dinner, we go to the game, we get a drink. He, he's got tickets. So he had tickets already. He pays for parking. He paid for dinner. He paid for drinks at LCA. How and where do you, where do you think that she should have been offering to help? I think, I think like looking at, looking at drinks, you know, for example, you know, I had two drinks and I think if we stopped at two, that would have been, it would have been fine, but then she goes up and she, she gets another expecting, you know, me to pay for it. So wait, so you guys are, you guys are at the concessions there. She orders the drink and what did she do? She look at you like, Hey, are you going to put your credit card on here and tap this? I mean, yeah, I mean, she didn't. I don't know if she had money on her. So Delaney, you didn't even like when you went and ordered a drink and Colin, you did not order a drink at the concessions at that time? I felt, I felt like, well, I mean, I guess, I guess we're doing another one. Okay. I did another one. Like even make an attempt to go towards your purse, like you were going to pay. Okay. I didn't know that he was like counting drinks all of a sudden and I thought he was getting one with me. So no, I didn't reach for my purse because he had just paid for the last two. I thought we were getting another drink. I didn't think I was any different. Here's a question I'm going to ask you, Shannon and Lydia and beyond kind of stuff as, as women, if you go out with a guy, do you just assume that everything's paid for it or do you at least attempt to go towards? Okay. So I'm very old fashioned with the whole first date thing. I do think a guy should pay for the first date, my opinion. Thank you. However, in your case, there were a lot of different pieces to this first date. And knowing myself, once we're ordering drinks inside of LCA after he's already paid for tickets, parking, dinner, drinks, I would definitely be offering to pay for a drink or two. Yeah, that's me. I agree for the most part. I do think you should have given it a second chance because I also think as a woman, it's after the first date where I'm like, Oh, this guy's very nice. He did a great job. The first date, second day, I'm like, okay, my turn. Like let me do something. Yeah. Amanda, what do you think? I agree with Shannon in the sense that I probably would have offered, but I also believe that I mean, she might just be old fashioned. I don't think there's anything wrong. I don't think she's selfish though. I don't think that was the right word to use. I think that was a bit odd. And maybe he should have given her another chance. Maybe she would have paid for the next date. So I don't know. I think he just jumped a gun on it. Yeah, especially if you guys had a good time. I feel like it's like miscommunication. That sort of stuff on a first date can be really awkward and confusing. So if you had a good time, I definitely go out again. What do you think, Sean? I don't know. She shouldn't have to pay for nothing on the first date for sure. Second date, maybe if she wants to offer something. Yeah, go for it. I agree with you. But I don't think it's necessarily. I asked you out. Can I say something? I don't think it's Colin saying that she shouldn't. She should pay. I think he's like, at least make an attempt. Second date, not first. Not really interesting. Anthony, what do you think? Hi. I think you should pay for everything. That's I was raised by my grandparents, and that's the way a man's supposed to do it. But what about her not even making an attempt to try to say that, you know? I mean, I could be like possibly the first time in history. I'm in my 40s and I've always paid for the first date. You never had a girl though, say, can I split this with you or anything like that? I mean, if they do, I don't accept it. I pay for it. But I think that's what Colin's thinking. So when you got dropped off, Delaney, you said something really interesting to us in the beginning, you said it didn't seem like he was like he was kind of like or what was the words that you use? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like yeah, he gave me a hug and I was like, OK, like this was great. I hope to see you soon. And he said, yep. Yeah, yeah. That that didn't make you go, something's not good here. Like I should see if he's OK. Honestly, the way that he was acting, he was laughing the whole night. Like he was we were chatting, we were talking. There wasn't that many signs that anything was going wrong. And if he really felt that way, he's a man. He should say something. Yeah. Oh, Laura, what did you want to say? I just text it because it sounds like this could have also been an episode of Am I the A-hole? Yeah. I definitely think she should have at least offered. I mean, I haven't been on a first date in what feels like a million years. But back when I was like, I would have at least been offering or maybe depending on the situation, like insisting like, no, no, no, no, like I got this to because I was very proud. Like I can handle myself too. I don't need you to pay for all my stuff. Interesting. We got a side opinion because we feel like we're the only ones that are saying that maybe she should offer. A lot of listeners are saying she shouldn't have Katie. What's up? Good morning. I was just going to say that, in my opinion, whoever asks for the date, whoever asks you to dinner is the one that pays for it. OK, it's a little fashion thing, but that's how we were raised. OK, a lot of people saying that. A lot of people text in that. Cherie, what's up, Cherie? Hey, yeah, I think that that is ridiculous. Just to be totally honest, I'm with Shannon and Lady on that. Maybe the second or third day I will pay for something. But first day, no, absolutely not. I think that he had expectations that were ridiculous. OK, but she didn't get to hold it against her and not. It's a hold it against her and not communicate it. That's just why she had her own expectations. So made an interesting point saying this isn't like a traditional. We're just going out to dinner. This is there were a lot of different opportunities. Like he paid a lot. It was an expensive first date for sure. Well, he should have he should have picked a dinner then for the first day. He shouldn't have picked the game because he knows that things add up very quickly. You know what I do have, by the way, in my text, a lot of women saying they want to know where Colin goes and dates because they want to meet Colin because anybody has taken you on a date like that for a first date, they want to date. That's actually that is a pretty impressive first date. And by the way, how did Kevin do? Did he do a good job at the game? I bet he did. Right. Easy question. Yeah. Do you get free drinks at? I don't drink it. You don't drink. I don't know. Had a fucking do that. It's on the job. It's funny you drink on this job here, but you know. Maybe I need to start. That is true. Let's have one right now. Let's go. Your home of war. The five lives to tell your mom phones. Kids in Shannon's dirty on the 30. This is emotional in the morning. Forget everything you had planned for this weekend because you are sitting on your couch and winning from the comfort of your own home. I'm here with spin quest where you can play hundreds of slot games, all of the table games you love, and you could even win real cash prizes. New users, $30 coin packs are on sale for 10 at spinquest.com. Spin Quest is a free to play social casino. Boyd were prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. After the big game, like most people, I kept thinking about the commercials. And there was one that stayed with me. It was from the Blue Square Alliance Against Hate, and it wasn't loud or flashy. It showed a Jewish kid being targeted at school and another student who chose not to ignore it as someone who is Jewish. That moment felt very real to me, not dramatic, just familiar. And what struck me was how clearly it showed that hate doesn't always announce itself, but the impact is still huge. If you saw the Blue Square spot during the big game, it's worth thinking about. And if you want to show support, sharing the Blue Square is one small way to do that. What's up, everyone? I'm Ago Vodem. My next guest, it's Will Ferrell. My dad gave me the best advice ever. He goes, just give it a shot. But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fine anymore, it's OK to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspirer. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat just hanging there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Listen to Thanks, Dad, on the I Heart Radio App, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Readers, Katie's finalists, publicists. We have an incredible new episode this week for you guys. We have our girl Hilary Duff in here and we can't wait for you to hear this episode. They put on Lizzie McGuire 2 AM video on demand. This guy's 2 AM. 2 AM. But whatever time it is, Lizzie McGuire and I'm wild. Wild back you away. It was like a first like closet moment for me where I was like, you're like, I don't feel like she's hot like the rest of them. No, no, no, I was like, she's beautiful. But I'm appreciating her in a different way than these boys are. I'm not like, but listen to Las Colerillas, this on the I Heart Radio App, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.