#240 - THE WORMS FINALLY GOT US!

That's a fire shirt, dude. What does your shirt say? Is that autism? That's definitely autism. Thanks, Leip. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Hell, man. Hell, yeah. What the hell did you get me? That's kind of tough. I think TikTok shop. Just stole off a homeless guy. Red bubble. Yeah, I went to the local. That Japanese guy that wears the bright neon hat that just says on it. Similar vibe. But he doesn't know that it says because he's Japanese. He's got to know by this point. It's like a fire. It's like it's like when people get tattoos in kanji and kanji that they think that they think says like warrior or indomitable spirit. But in actuality, it says Kung Pao chicken. It's like Frank. That's still kind of like that woman that like looks like chicken. It's hard. People's like this just means nothing. This is gibberish. Oh, yeah. I've seen those. This means stupid foreigner. Yeah. Yeah. You know what's cool about the shirt? I used to not be able to fit in the shirt. Now I do. No. Are you talking about weight or? Well, it's just a stretch of the fuck out of it. I could simply like a month ago, I could not figure out how to put shirts on. But now we're good. I can wear it. It was originally a medium. He had to use his torch swing to make it an actual. He did not. That's his. That's how much how much weight are you down? 50 pounds. Wow. 50 pounds down and you can fit into an autism shirt. I wish we had this for that's huge. If that's how I don't know what it is. Yeah, I got crazy shirts and they're all from Smitty. He loves buying me wild shirts. My my favorite is definitely the flaming basketball that is like an active shooter in the building. It's a basketball. That's your stuff. I don't know where it is. It's an American shirt. Yeah, I can't really wear it anywhere. You know, I feel like that's pretty distasteful and in in America where I would actually wear that. I love those. Is that one of those ones where it's like the vintage look? But it's like, yeah, I love those styles. Yeah, that's true. It's tough. It's an advantage. Fitz ended up getting a vintage sweater of the Twin Towers. And it was like an in-memory of the Twin Towers. Look, it's a sweater. He found it in Australia. It was like an Australian goodwill. Dude, that's like when there's a thrift store in Toronto. So again, not even in US. And it was like, again, same idea, but it was the Twin Towers. And they were like on fire. And there was a bald eagle in the background. And it just said never forget. And it was just like the armpits on it were like musty as fuck. They were like black. And it had like mustard and ketchup stains all over. It's like this guy wore his 9-11 shirt enough where it was like ruined from usage. Like he overused his 9-11 shirt. Every 4th of July, baby, you put that shirt on, you put a gun on your hip, you cook some hot dogs and burgers. Absolutely. Pledge of Allegiance. Yeah, I got some hard. We should start the podcast with a big American flag in the corner that we all turn to and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. I'm not American. I don't know the Pledge of Allegiance. Yeah. Well, I forget. Do Canadians even have a sort of pledge that they do? We just have our national anthem. That's it. Yeah, but you guys don't go away. I pledge allegiance to the roadies of the of the no, we're not. We're not fucking brainwashed into loving our country. I pledge allegiance to the hockey and the ice. Love upon the rink. No, we don't we don't have anything like that. At least not that I know of anyway, not in Ontario. Yeah, I don't I don't I. I don't especially find Canadians to be super patriotic, but there are there are a few of them. I mean, I I love Canada. But I think the difference between a lot of Canadians and a lot of Americans is like Canadians, I feel like are a little more open to criticizing both parties of government rather than just being like that one over there. That one's gay. Not man of them. So I'm all in on this one. It's just it's more of like a generalized like we love Canada, but also like not. You know, we definitely criticize Canada a lot more than yeah, I think we criticize America here in America. Patriotism is kind of like it's kind of seen as just being like loud and proud with loving your country blindly and just like putting American flags on everything. And I mean, loud and proud is good. I think it's a good thing to be like that's what people here. Yeah, patriotism. Like if you don't do that, you're not a real patriot. Well, thank you, Shane. Yeah, I mean, you get a lot of that. You know, red, white and blue in Canada, you believe maple syrup is what I mean. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. One person gets like, you know, hit by a car or something here. Everyone just freaks out, starts like slurping up their shit. They get a bunch of. And it's yeah. Dip it. Have you seen those thick and trees where it like drips the. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The things they have is a fucking fat Canadians like spout. Hit them belly button. Oh, yeah. You look at you look at you get a lot in there. That's where the syrup is stored. It's like a piece in the balls. Sir, it is in the syrup is in the stomach. Good place. I love Canadians. Yeah. Yeah, I actually legitimately. What? When I went to your wedding, dude, and I was it was like maybe the second time I was in Canada. Probably the first time I was in real Canada, because they've been in Canada before, but I don't count Montreal is a part of the real Canada. You know what I mean? That's a little weird. But I mean, they don't want to be a Canadian. So I guess. No, no, don't get me wrong audience. I mean, the Kepa quiet are in Canada, but are they really, really a hundred percent real authentic real Canadians? I don't know anything about Canada lower. What? What are we talking about? In Quebec is a lot of promise. French Canadians. They're the ones who talk not English. Yeah. And they like want to be French. The whole wants to be French. Well, I think that's the fucking that's the mystery. There's a million Canadian. Yeah, French Canadian. Do that's a double. Well, maybe they're looking at African American. It's like, come on. Well, maybe they're looking at it as like a double negative might make a positive of like Canadian plus French. Sorry. Holy, were you being racist? Yeah. And I missed that. Incredibly, incredibly so. Oh, Stinky. Oh, African American. Yeah, the double negative. Swagger's reaction. Yeah. Dog, big old dog. And I'm trying to give you sloppy. That's because we're in a race. What's the name of the dog? What's the name of the gang? This is stinky dumbass. This is a fuckers. We should probably. We should probably say there's no John episode this week, because we weren't even sure if there was. Well, the dog is John. So technically John. Yeah, we have a name, John. Yes, we will do the John John, Pesode, but do a sick, violently sick. You could probably still hear in his little twink voice. I want to. And Swagger is very hungover. So we didn't even think we were going to have an episode. I need to be like in the shape of 100. Jones in my defense, I did end up shitting approximately 45 percent of the hangover into the toilet. So I'm only like a little by that margin. You know, what's incredible about the podcast is like people think like, oh, surely they just kind of make poopy jokes because that's part of their job at this point. But do you know why the podcast was 15 minutes late today? Viewers, 50 percent of the members were busy shitting. So nobody. And the other 25 percent shit after they started before they ended. Why are you all OK? I understand Swagger because it's earlier. Why do you all shit at nighttime? That's a weird vibe. Do my butthole decides it's not. It's not a sentient. You don't have like like a circadian doodoo rhythm. No, I don't. Some people shit like on the debt every day to specific time. They yeah. Yes, I can't do that. You don't you don't got that. It's just whenever it's new. It just I will. That's why it's so hard or so fast is because when I feel it, I'm on the toilet, kaboom, and then I'm up and going like your ass is speaking. Why are you shucking place to get up when he has a right to my butthole? I'm ready to shit. Oh, we have time to your tour. You're literally spinning the wheels like it's Mario Kory before the three to one like it's ready to blast off. Yeah, you did. We did we did time in sessions before we're we're we're like, can you shit under 60 seconds and he gets up from his setup, shits and comes back in 60 seconds. And I don't think he even wipes. I don't know. Actually, you're hitting. Literally 30 seconds. You have a big day. You have to do but not in my downstairs. But I mean, that's not good. What wipes? They don't sticky. Well, usually don't those clog toilets. Usually the fast. They can are the ones like you know, just throw it in the garbage. This is a pilot. Crusty doo-doo paper next to the toilet. Uncovered. I was surprised, mate. Yeah, usually the fast. Shits are the ones that are like almost ghost wipes. Yeah, it is. Boom. Like a do you have a loose asshole? Yeah, you heard his finger. It sounds like swamp water. Yeah. I don't know. I never put a dick in my butt. So I don't know if it's that I'm lying. You ready? But what? Wait, wait, you ready? What do you what party line about specifically the dick in the butt or the you don't know if it's loose to wonder and for you to find out the next time I hang out with you. I don't know if I got enough hog to make it in there. It is pretty. Those are those are some. Yeah, I feel like I need like a 10 inch. Yeah, you need a real bunker bus to for that fucking. Yeah. I have you ever woken up because, you know, usually hangover. You wake up after you have eaten a lot of food. You had drunk, maybe you could buy a pizza. You have like a ramen or whatever. We could have had and then you wake up the next morning, like having to shit so bad, you're nauseous. Well, you either need to like throw up or shit. Well, your body is telling you. Even do what I need to throw up. That happens. It depends on the vibe because I can't shit for days. And I will come home and I will violently crazy. That's what that happens to me. I don't think I've ever been nauseous and crap in the nausea one way. Oh, I know. Really? Huh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like pushing against your stomach. Like, I don't know. Or you need like you are. I feel like you need like a like one of the Giorgio Garrio. Isn't that the game? Queblecop used to play? No, Giardia, the parasite. And you tell me that makes you shit liquid and throw. I don't know what that is. I brain worm. What are you? G. Am I grandfather? G. I. A. R. D. A. Jihadi. Giardia. Like kills parasites. No. Are you talking about Jihadi's? No, you're talking about Gary, Deli chocolate, Gary, Deli. Oh, Gary, the snail. I think you're thinking of Guy Fieri, the chef. Yeah, it's funny. It's it's actually funny. You bring it up against the about the chocolate, the anti-parasite. Yeah, the dewormer, because I got a call from a close friend of mine. He goes by and Shuei. He's a part of Misfits Mines, which is an Australian based prank channel out here in Melbourne. And, you know, we've known each other for a couple of years. In a couple of years back, I had made a point that, you know, hey, you should probably be taking a dewormer every six years to like every six months to a year because, you know, we all have sushi. Maybe we can't cook something. Maybe we can't like an undercooked steak. Can we eat it? Whatever. And you can get a parasite. And so I was saying that this is what you do. And everybody laughed at me and didn't take me seriously. Then I was just fucking with them. And what I find out two weeks ago is that Nick calls me. He goes, hey, dude, you know, our friend Sebastian is looking into like being super health conscious. And he just was reading the line about parasites. And we all got a bunch of a bunch of chocolate. The anti-parasite chocolate, we all ate it. And we've been shitting worms for three days. And I thought that they were fucking with me. But they were literally shooting worms. Dude, I just have to be on a straight. It's because I've literally never heard of this in the US. Yeah. When is the last time you took a dewormer? Never in my life. You've never taken a dewormer. We got a lot of pent up worms. Not once in my entire life have I had a dewormer. Do you like fish? If you had a lot of fish? Yes. If you not not a ton, no. Undercooked burger, like an undercooked chicken burger. So every burger in Canada has to be done medium well. Yeah, but you've never had like a bad, a bad burger that gets all fucked up or you maybe you cook something or you don't wash your fruit. No, I do all that. Well, I might be good. Does your asshole itch at night? Yes. At all. Is it because you don't wipe? Do is it because it crusted? I need to be a part of a different conversation. OK, tonight, tonight when you go to bed, close your eyes and right before bed, just focus on your ansel. If it itches, if it twitches, if it gay hypnotism, anything at all. You probably are you trying to dirty dock with me right now? Probably have you probably have worms. I don't have worms. I would say you probably have worms. Are the worms trying to leave their house? So some why would they leave? Some worms, notably, pinworms, what they do, especially this is common in kids. So if you like working a daycare, if you work, you can go out and anything like that, new chances of getting worms is like a astronomically higher. But kids will get pinworms in the way that pinworms work is that when you're asleep, they kind of wiggle out of your asshole and they like put eggs on like your rectum and then you it makes it itchy and you scratch your ass. And then you and then, you know, if you put your your hand back to your mouth, you you complete the cycle. And then so pinworms work. So babies, obviously, they'll just scratch and they put their hands in the mouth. So they get pinworms and then you give the babies dear warming chocolate. I didn't know so much about worms. Yeah. So I. I looked into it and it was and I'm very afraid of parasites. I think a phobia of parasites, a phobia of like, I had a phobia of bugs for a while. And the idea of like having worms really like fucked with me as a young man, as a child even. I feel like I was always on top of my I was always on top of my game. Big pharma doesn't want you to know that you just eat worms. Can you wait? That is true. There's that's a literal Victorian method to wait. People would eat tapeworm eggs. Oh, Geo. And it was and it was bougie as fuck. They put these tapeworm eggs in like gold, the encrusted like diamond bezels like little things. That's insane because can't tapeworms get like fucking like 40 feet long. They can. You know, you have a tapeworm. Yeah, they'll go big. They go big. So literally like we'll lose just a fuck ton of weight. Tapeworm. Yeah, you'll literally tape her away. Crazy. And they're big and they're big and they're flat and they're grunts. So should we all take deworming chocolate and and report back in? I think we should. I think you guys should. It's important. I gotta make sure you're getting all your interest. And I'm sorry, flam, freaking freaking out. The viewers, if I'm making the viewers a little upset, maybe maybe you should post this in like like our schizophrenia. Just tell them that the worms are and they can freak the fuck out. But it used to be that I would do where I would like basically gaslight people into convincing them that they have worms. But the more you actually think about it, if you've never taken a dewormer and you're over the age of 20, you have something chilling. With you. That is that seems like. I can't say to it. Consider it a pet if it makes you feel better, but it's a long for the ride. The only time I ask every itches is if I have a really bad wiping day. And that. What is that? What do you mean a day? What do you mean a bad wiping day? This is a day, bro. A huge or something. You know what? I don't try to 9 a.m. I'll try to get a 9 p.m. See where we're at, but I think it's going to be a bad white day. I know how I know what he means, though. It's like when you spread your ass to sit on the toilet, you feel like you're like like the skin is being pulled apart. Like it's almost crusted your ass in this life. Yeah. Exposing some rice skin. It's usually like if I'm like pooping a lot in one day. Wagger. Yeah. Yes. I'm sorry to I'm sorry to go against your your belief system here. But generally, healthy individuals in North America do not need deworming. You know, well, that's what's very big. That's what big worm. Why don't you do things? It's very uncommon in the United States and Canada due to high standards of sanitation, water treatment and food safety regulations. All right. I tell that to the beer. Tell me big worm. Yeah, people's. Yeah, dude. It was written by tape for my bed. Dude, the fucking director of the secretary of human health and services in America had brain worms. OK, well, that guy's a fucking idiot, bro. Yeah, didn't get to drink. Literally, he's a drink in blue and airplanes because he's fucking stupid. And dude, don't even don't even tell me don't even tell me that methylene blue is bad for you when the best Gatorade flavor is fucking blow. He does leg press and genes and not one of those reps counted. So therefore I don't fuck with them. Resistance. It's resistance training. He didn't do one single up there. When you go to the gym, the denim was just removed and it helps. It helps you. It helps you. It helps you live. This training, the hip stability while holding seven plates. You know, he's older. You're going to be doing the durability of his jeans. It's doing a wrangler. I'm in a jean day. I would seriously consider everybody watching or listening. To get a dewormer. It is very cheap. Did you start a deworming company? You're talking to you. You can you being paid. And if you, you know, and but if on the contrary, if you want, if you want yourself and your worms to be flourishing and energize, then you can go to gamebersubs.gg and use code Gones for 10 percent off your order. Go ahead and drink some grandmas. Ashes grandpas. Ashes or. Yes, so crusaderate. Get those worms dancing. Get them moving. Get them. Get up high. You know what? If the worms are moving, they'll lose a little bit of weight. True gamebersubs. It's good for your worms. It's good for your worms. And they might start putting that slogan on. I really think your worms will. Good for your worms. Well, thank you. You know what they say? Happy worm. Happy life. Happy worm. Happy life. Worm is very close to woman. Wormen. They're the same thing, bro. They really do just all want the same thing. When you're down with us to you, if you'd love for if you were a worm. I say, I say, well, I mean, what I mean, what I mean? Well, I say, what kind of worm? I say, I say, are we talking? I'm not interested. Are we talking? Heartworm? Are we talking? Ringworm? Because ringworm isn't even a worm. There's a fungus. Yeah. Yeah, that's a. Ass worm. Yeah. Was supposed to. Suppose to race worm. Not a real one. I never play Earthworm Jim when you were a kid. I did. I did. I love that game. It was so hard. It was a really hard game. Oh, hard. Have you ever seen them? Have you ever seen the movie? Had he eat fried worms? No. No. Yeah, it was a shitty movie. Don't I wouldn't recommend watching. OK, he brought it up like you were like and have fond memories of it and that we should check it out. No, no, no, you guys clearly didn't see it or think it's lame. I do too because they. How about that? Yeah, I ran. The war. Were you is that what you want to talk about? That seems. That was just that was a professional segue and of the worm talk. Yeah. Speaking of worms, how about the I totally. Do you think the worms and Iran are going to be OK? Do you do hold on? I need to do they even have worms and Iran? I actually have no idea. You know what I learned today? So Antarctica is the only continent without ants. I know those aren't ones, but I guess that's who is. Antarctica is the only continent without ants. That's ironic. Well, unfortunate. It is. Got it in the name. Do they have uncle's? They do have worms and Iran. Uncle and shorty go. So the key point. What the fuck? There are worms and intestinal worms exist. Iran with a reported 17.2 percent infection rate. Oh, wow. That's a lot of guys. They don't have sanitary conditions over there in Tehran. It's like a dude. It's like a fucking modern city. I thought you're talking about. Oh, yes. Yes, they be eating worms out there. Just be warming it up. It's like a ZB in fucking. Kit. If you. Fucking pile. There's a lot of a lot of veggies, raw vegetables, a lot of but I rural areas have it. Yeah, well, it is is vile and that probably animals. Camels are worms spreaders. Camels. You would have interesting. Oh my god, my fucking. But yeah, it was about to fall. Yeah, yeah, the whole it is weird that we were we were broaching a possible World War three scenario. And yet I'm here talking about worms on a show. Well, it's what it's what. What are the worms gonna be the last podcast we ever do? By the way, it's gonna be the latest podcast we ever do. It's gonna be the last podcast that you ever listen to horrifying to the principate that you have worms in your belly. Dude, imagine imagine getting fucking nuked. And this is the last thing you hear. It's a conversation. The nook would be a mercy, I think. Well, the new kill the worm so effectively. I mean, it would. It would end. Well, yeah, it's like it's a very. It's a very. The very extreme option for deworming and your deworms or floor. Just call it never in my life have I deworm my for. I like to read. You don't have to do it. It's not really a Canadian. I like to reworm it. Once the worms naturally die, I like to add more. Especially if you lived in like Northern America, like anywhere above a ancient Asian land. I don't know what that is, but you just live in like Northern America, but not Canada. For some reason, Canadians don't have to worry about worms in their floor. Are you are you talking to me? Is that a real thing? Processed eating chocolate. Obviously, that's for you. But the Mason. Oh, you're fucking with me. OK, never. I thought you guys actually had to deal with forms. I mean, do you kind of get something fucking. Something. Do the fuck. Hold on. Hold on. No, no, no, no. Hold on. I'm looking at you. No, no, no. I know you did not remove the rotting corpse under your floorboards. I'm wondering why is the camera you're using have the like a VHS effect. I can see the lines going down your. Are you are you in a fucking Taliban? Twenty twenty six. Like, what are you recording this on? Like a panasonic camcorder. What are you using? One of those lines. It's I think it's because of the lights in here. Yeah, you're using the camera. The lights are like, are you using your Sony? No, this is a laptop. OK, as I say, you can buy a separate webcam for your laptop, right? You don't have to use this one. It has one. Yeah, we start one night. I guess, yeah. I didn't see that. I mean, I brought that up. I can't. I look at all this. Your laptop is your laptop empowered by your old VHS tapes. A year old. Yeah. Yeah, I think about laptop cameras unless you have a Mac, they're not really like advanced at all. Yeah, I don't know. I got fucking like a plastic over mine. Yeah, I would put a piece of tape over it all the time. Well, just download some crazy. It's just not great. I just don't want I don't want the government looking through the webcam when I'm beating on it. It'll be real ugly. I don't. It's just a thing. It's not. It welcomes that because you have the angle where like you're like back like this. Oh, this is the Omega angle. This is like the I could see like. Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's that's the day. And we're going to have to enter the dark in his pants and post so you can't see the bulge. Yeah, that's my fault. Do we are viewed? YouTube viewers just went up like 50 percent after you said that. Spotify listeners coming over to check out what's going on. Yeah, if you want to see it, it's over to you to the consistent. Unless it's video on Spotify, you could see my cock there. Do we have any on Spotify? I don't know. Yes, I'm right. I believe we are on Spotify in motion picture. Well, incredible. Stinky. Man, as you pick your nose. Oh, no, I see what. Why do you always smell your fingers? And then more importantly, changes. You always always report back what it smells like. It's going to do things once we make sure it smells like the worm eggs. He's just checking the easy. He's very warm. Maxing. Just like a carpet that smokes. The carpet smokes. I. You were walking to a grandma house. House. Yeah, dude, my grandma's house was like fucking cigarettes and doodoo balls. Yeah. Are we talking? That's a good cigarette. Decade. Maybe Paul Maltes, the guy who cut my hair yesterday, we smoke, we smoke in a cigarette like right before he cut my hair. And all I could smell when he was lining up my beard was the cigarette smell. I'd be wanting to go to the casino. I'd be like, damn, this smells like home. Yeah, this smells like blackjack. Dude, I got fucking wax yesterday. Where they waxed this. Oh, my ears and my nose. You're fucking the whole thing. Yeah, I get here. We it's like, oh, Italian. That's right. It's not here growing out of my ears. It's like, you know, like the little inner ear lobe you have. Yeah, little triangle. I get peach flies that gets real long and it grows after there. You ever get your swagger balls waxed? It's a long shit. No, I tremble with the razor. I go to the bark on my balls. I do like smooth balls. I shave the shaft, but I leave a mutton shop on my nuts. I don't touch. No, I like I just like the top, you know, I keep the mustache. I have the world's longest ball hair. This has been you do. I have maybe outside of my anger, but like I have image proof of Dew's ball hair. Yep. It looks like a fucking cobweb. Like you just opened a sarcophagus from fucking any spider man. I see and there's just there's just fucking hair. It looks like I shot my own nuts with a web swinger. Yeah, you should. But it's like looking it's a pretty crazy one. I'm not going to lie. I can't touch it out of principle. I have to leave it. That's fair. It's valid. I'm like, I've ever seen a drink of weird. I only see you drink Coke. That's usually the holy fuck. That's like you're more of a Coca Cola guy. I'm a Pepsi guy. Coca Cola guy. Shut up. He called my fucking bro. I don't know. Just your hand. You get super Canadian and then just like it comes in spooch. Yeah. Mm hmm. What is that? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's what you do. Why did you do that? Oh, we forgot to do. We forgot to do the thing today where we're all just going to get fucking random objects. You should tell. Oh, I literally want to wait. I have what you want to take a five. I'm not even at my normal day desk. There's nothing at my desk. I'll grab. I'll grab something. I lied. There's 20 grand at my desk. It's all this. It's not real. What? Prop money. It's from from the fucking ready or not. Here's a rocket in RPG seven rocket. OK. Real working. Unpatched. What's out in metal? Why do you? What do you have against the wall as hard as you can smash it on the ground? Like a. They're putting an explosion or don't let that just be that just be awkward. It's better. It's going to look so good in post. I hope he does absolutely nothing with it. It's just that. I have I have I have a thing. What do you have? What do you have for a second? I ripped my ball. Is that is that a rip my balls off? Is that a is that one of the Reese's people are going to are there Valentine's hearts? Yeah, I have how he's the hockey tape. God, what do I have? I don't have anything fun. I could go find something exciting. Oh, I can't show. I have Dark Magician Coaster that way. That's actually tough. I actually just found all my old Yu-Gi-Oh cards, like six months ago at my grandma's house. Oh, I had shit. I had some heat. Nothing like insanely valuable. But a lot of like first gen or first edition cards of like, you know, some of the more iconic ones. That's to Donkey Kong Country. As gas. How's the poster? Yeah, no, I am when I moved, I found my old Pokemon cards and I cannot wait. No way. You haven't gone through them yet. No, I might have. Face time me and like show me what you got. I want to I want to I want to see your your collection. But I know I had some Charizard's. I just don't know if I got like mayonnaise on them or something. Nice. Yeah. Some Charizard's are valuable. Other ones are like, I mean, they're all relatively valuable from that era. But you know, you have a print just rotting in my dresser. Like a double hollow misprint. Yeah, I see the pliers. I can walk 10 feet over there to my utility room and I'll find 400 pliers. I have. Yeah. Oh. Oh, you got shot. I don't have anything interesting. Oh, a great story like Monsters Inc. stays with you forever. And Disney Plus is where you'll find your next great story from the return of the award winning hit series, Rivals. Welcome to the naughtiest show on television. To the unmissable crime drama, High Potential. Got a dead body. Got to go a lifetime of great stories awaits this spring on Disney Plus. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. Do as a couch at a setup. There's a couch. I was a camera actually doing that. I can't believe that. What is up? Oh, wood. So give a log. You show us a line. Do got up and he left a log on the chair for the viewers. You can't stay at home. A wizard transmogged me. I am that. I'm trying to. An entire podcast where you're just a log. I'm on a headset. So I can just walk away now. I like to do it like this. Transmogged is like a thing now. You can say that means something different. I'm a trans person. Yeah. You're like you passed better than them. Dude, there's just a fire. Every time his audio lights up, I just look down at this stupid fucking log. He's literally been turned into a piece of wood. I like this. This is good. You should be you should you should be a different inanimate object every episode. Yeah, I mean, there's not really a lot of point of even showing you because you're I was just just you never, you know, we did the IRL lamp. Yo, oh, we got the blog plushie. We did the IRL episode where you had your your famous do mask on. Who the dragonite? A string. Yeah. Let's go. Why? Why don't you why? Why do you ever wear the wear the mask? You were like the Omega videos because do you remember when we were on the podcast and I sneezed into it and I had to sit there for an hour? Yeah, I do vividly remember that happens. It happens to go home. You can like take it off and wipe it away. Yeah, you can just true. I don't beg it. I'll beg it. Good. That was a bad. That speaking of dragonite, I'm so fucking stoked for the Pokemon game that comes out tonight at midnight. I think it's the starters. Wait, you should do. Oh, the new one. OK, so all right, there's there's so there's two coming out. So there's there's just in waves. There's winds and waves. I thought you meant no. Winds and waves, which is like the next generation, like the next mainline title. And they released the starters. I think they look great. Everyone's tweaking. Everyone's all mad about them as they always are. We should we should pull them up and yeah, and and and rate them. Because I haven't used me. See, I I think they're gas. I love the dog. I'm a big fan of the owl. I hope you have they shown the evolutions yet or the little bird. No, they have. What the hell? I hope. Yeah, I think they're great. That would be sick as fuck. I mean, the thing is, we already have a grass type owl. And that's like my current favorite starter. So I don't know if they'll do an owl again. But regardless of whatever whatever he turns into, I think that'll be what I go. I don't do not do not start. I could set my house on fire. I would actually take a long time. So there's an owl, a little Pomeranian dragon of the fire starter. And then the get the water get go. I swear to God, I tweeted this out, but I'm going to put it here as well. Just so everybody is well aware. If any of the starters, other than the bird, who is already on two legs, if any of them become humanoid, I will be fucking shooting myself in the face in front of Nintendo HQ. Why? Why? Because I hate it. They keep coming up. You're going to want to fuck them, aren't you? No, they keep coming up with awesome starters and they're cool and then they make them bipedal and they look like fucking weird little freaks. And I hate it. I'm so tired of bipedal Pokemon. They look weird. They're creepy. They scare me. I don't like them. I get a little boner. The Gengar bonus scares me. My feelings frighten me and I like it. I think the Gengar was definitely no bipedal. Gengar was double. Big. Weinercock. Yeah, I don't know. Either way, I'll probably just pick the little bird anyway, because I fucking I love his little ass. Bro looks kind of tough. I see like a bunch of heads of M. Wearing like big puffer jackets. I'm going with the Pomeranian. Yeah, that's that's a that's a. Or a puffer jacket. No, like a puffer jacket. That's really big. It's kind of tough. What are their names? It's. But yeah, Bird, Bon Bon. Yes, the dog and Gekwa. Gekwa. Yes. Yeah, their names are fine, whatever. I really care. But starters are gas. But there's a game that comes out tonight at midnight from Pokemon. And it's a it's not a mainline title. And it's like essentially animal crossing, but with Pokemon. And I believe it's like I believe it's a can't go region. If I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure it's Gen one. But it's like post it's like post apocalyptic. So like the entire world is like destroyed humans are gone. All that's left is like Pokemon and a ditto. What the fuck? And yeah, and you have to like need a new guy ran. You know, it's. Don't say that. Don't say that. Utopia. We must. That's what we need for fucking to get Pokemon. If a full Pokemon lore, the full Pokemon lore, we must wipe an entire country out. Yes, we need to set the dominoes going so that I can fucking I could. Which one's the thing you want to get? Be poor, you want to fuck the poor on. Oh, I want to. On top. I want I want to be poor. And a second away. A second log has shown up by the way. Second line is just blocked. Do it. It's like a wall. Who's the other one? Typhlosion. Art of War type. You want to fuck Typhlosion? No, no, no, no, no. Typhlosion wants to fuck me, but I'm not into it. Isn't he the Cyndaquil final boss? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He was a gardener. Crazy war that I would I would dance with Gardevoir, but I think I would only leave it to dance. Oh, no, I would. I would go fucking absolutely. I would fuck me too. Anyway. The logs just said something. Well, I was like, you to mute to mute to mute to does have a good shape, which is like good. And yeah, he kind of built like a Pixar mom. It's not bad when women have when women are shaped like me too. Let's just say I wish I had a basketball. I wish I had two great balls. Yeah, it's OK. We we we could we could make a fuckable Pokemon tier list sometime. We should. The viewers. I would fuck most Pokemon. I would that would be actually really great. It would be cool to design our own Pokemon OC that we think would be the most fuckable as well. Like, essentially, we're just going to. OK, so we're all right. Fair enough. Yeah. You know why not? Let's make a fuckable book. Honestly, my money is on the doof winning the most fuckable Pokemon. But the bed of those little bedouc just bright pink. Yeah, I don't know. I know he's got those buck teeth can't scare me. I kind of like him. What do you how do you feel about the buck teeth? What? Oh. Oh, my God, it's here. He started talking about fucking it. And I remembered I had one. Why does it have a hole suspiciously? Don't at the back. Don't don't what it? What is that hole? Is that a hole? OK. Don't supple. Is it have a pussy? You have a big boy on with a pussy on it with the foot. Anyway, what we time up? No, bring that back. Bring that big boy on back. Did that have a coochie hole? I don't know what you're talking about. So you're covering it now. You're covering the spot that I'm trying to see. Lift its little tail for me. No, no, this is fucking weird. I'm looking at my fuck toy. Is it? Oh, it's the back of its leg. Oh, or he's just trying to play it off and it actually has a coochie hole. He's being really quiet, which is stressing me out a little bit about it. I was fucking my poor in. All right. Throw the law. Throw another log on the podcast. Keep her warm. Pokemon should go to wild, man. They got like a lot of the head. How many fucking Pokemon now? I want to say it's like one thousand 60, one thousand 20. I can't remember what it was. Yeah, there's no game where you can get all of them, though. There's ones that are pretty close, like seven hundreds. But yeah, you can. A thousand and twenty five unique species. Yeah, that checks out. Yeah, there's there's a lot now. I mean, I don't know. I still love the games. I get people's like criticism for it. And honestly, like. With the money they generate, those games should be substantially higher quality. It kind of pisses me off that they just do the same game. We have the same game every time. The Pokemon was it or case Pokemon or is this the fucking? It was our stuff. Yeah, it was. That was really fucking good. Because I changed the formula. That is my favorite Pokemon game of all time, like bar none. The problem is, is when they change it, people go fucking crazy. They get pissed. Well, well. But when people were, but when they leave it the same, people then again complain that there's no, you know, ingenuity to it. And I think there needs to be a fine line for sure. But yeah, I mean, like with Scarlet and Violet, I think the total they spent on that game was like, I don't remember what it was. It was extremely low for a video game or for like the size. I want to say it was like 30 million dollars or something extremely low for a game of that caliber. And it generated like it had to be in the billions because they don't have to. They know that they can just. So but I fucking I got playing the game like, dude, they totally have the money and the resources to like voice this or like, oh yeah, 100%. Oh, like the animation could be better or, you know, oh dude, the animation is the worst awful. It's not even just the story when they don't know what to do. We're like this Paris thing. There was this there was this one year here like Paris. And it was really does. But Jen said recently was on the fucking switch. Oh, uh, let's see a legend. See a yes. I play that. I was really disappointed with it. I love it. They just drop you in the city. Why you should be starting out in the countryside with the inspiration to make it to the city. Yeah, I that was my biggest issue with that game is the map is extremely boring. I don't really care about like the whole thing with a bunch of fucking parks. It made no sense. I'm not. I'm not like the main thing I love about games like Pokemon is like, you know, the RPG element of it of like being able to explore. Oh, yeah. You know, find Pokemon a weird spot where you're like, oh, like legends. Arceus, when you come across a random cave, the exactly there you go. When you come across a random cave or something that you haven't seen before, like a hidden pond and you see a Pokemon they haven't caught yet. You're like, this is the best thing ever. This is fucking awesome. It doesn't really hit the same when you like go down an alley and see a Pokemon, you know, and it's like, oh, it's no, it's next to the fucking garbage there. It's next to the Trubbish. There's that Pokemon I need. Yeah, it really took me out of it. It was not like you're on an adventure. It's kind of like, yeah, I don't know. It just seemed lazy. Just every single aspect and it's weird that, you know, hey, you know, Pokemon is just it's like the banks just like Wells Fargo. It's too big to fail. Yeah, it felt like the beta for a bigger game. Like that was supposed to be like five different cities, but they only released like the beta for like the one city. That's what that game. Like I'm alpha testing every new Pokemon game when it's given to me, like actually. Yeah. I mean, the thing is like Scarlet and Violet now on the switch to are actually like in terms of Pokemon games really flushed out. They're really good. I mean, the story is still like for fucking children. So you're never going to be like, yeah, but I know people always say that. But I fucking play Ruby or Sanford and Emerald. And I'm like, hey, you know, the story still holds up, you know, so it has a little bit of. Yeah, I think Scarlet and Violet story was the best in a while. I mean, there's like like this fucking, you know, kids parents die. You find his dead mom in a cave and it's like crazy. So it's like it's a little more interesting and and darker than, you know, a bunch of the more recent ones. I thought that one was good. But yeah, like they're just they're just slop when you when you consider how much money that company fucking makes. And I mean, everything is like that. They're they're creating card game, everything like they could easily print enough to completely, you know, negate scalpers. They just choose not to because it keeps their brand value high, right? It's the same as any designer brand where it's like Louis Vuitton doesn't sell their stuff on sale at the end of the season that didn't sell. They fucking tear it apart, reuse a leather or burn it, keeps brand value high, right? You don't want to, you know, diminish its value. So they they just kind of, yeah, that's their that's their that's their. I played Pokemon first, second and third gen. And then I took like five off and I came back at like sword and shield. And I just couldn't pass like the fact that I'm out in the wild and I've ran into a wild teacup set. That shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's some there's some interesting ones for sure. I actually liked sword and shield. I think a lot of people the story was the animation. Dude, I vividly remember streaming it with Puffer. And I did. I beat the game for the first time ever playing in Nuzlocke with Puffer. And we were streaming it. And I got to the part where you kill like a turn it is like the bad guy Pokemon. And you're you're supposed to be with this legendary who's a dog. And it's supposed to like jump up and use this huge sword that it's in his mouth to like slash down a turn is supposed to be crazy scene. But they didn't even bother animating any of that. So this dog just goes rigid. Like it's like you ever pick up like a Chihuahua and they just get a hell of like like bricked up like they're just rigid as far as it goes into that. It just lifts off out of nowhere. It just takes off like a fucking airplane without moving anything. And then just like it literally looks like it just does fucking 9-11 into this book and it is the worst thing I have ever fucking seen in my I literally got out of my chair and just fucking like I was yelling. I was laughing. So I had to get up. It was awful. One of the most companies in the world, by the way, the most valuable IP. I think in the world, right? It has to be up there. Now, just being said, what is what is what is your top three Pokemon games? Crystals. Listen up. Huh? That means you. Yes, you. We know you're pointing at yourself. When it comes to party power games, we've got a place made for all sorts. From the experts to the drama queens. It's me, the JC, the finance, bros. Look at those stocks, lads. We'll stick with slots. It's what we're good at and not forgetting you. Yes, you the one listening because at party power games, we've got all sorts of games for all sorts of three calls. eligibility rules and terms of conditions apply. Please come for responsibly. Eight and plus come on away. Dot org number one. Interesting. OK. Fucking love. Go ahead. Because you're more of an O.G. player. Crystal is my favorite all time because you get the new game and then you get to go back to the old game. And as a kid, that blew my dick and balls off. I thought that shit was awesome. And the Pokemon weren't lampshades back then. Not yet. Not yet. Of the new games, I think I liked Scarlett better than Shield and Sword. Yeah, OK. I like that one. And then probably Emerald. OK, bro. But I haven't played. That's a good list. I haven't played like a few in the middle. So I don't know. It's tough, though, because, you know, I go into the knee jerk of like going to Emerald, because, you know, sampling and ruby together get requiesced. And then probably Diamond and the day is pretty fucking good. And probably also Pokemon Colosseum. Oh, OK, I didn't know that was on the list because Pokemon Colosseum was was coolest. Fuck, there's a good game. I like that. I like Gale Darkness a little better, but both were really fun. Damn, OK, I don't know if there's a Pokemon game I haven't played, including like Pokemon Snap and stuff. Yeah, yeah, I played the recent snap. W. Oh, hey, you Pikachu. You remember, hey, you Pikachu. I do. I didn't play it. I played the game. I had no idea how to play the game. It was so strange. It was like you you really like played. I don't like you just watching him. You just watching the Pikachu do his thing and just like you like live with him. OK, no, I have not played that one. I'm thinking of Pokemon TV. OK, I've not played that. I'm talking like one. I'm talking Pokemon games of the average person is. Or like I've played all the main line. OK, I've not played that. My channel is what it was called. Never heard of it. I've played. Yeah, I played Snap. I played Colosseum, Gale, Darkness, all the main line games, both legends games. I tried their shitty ass version of League. What the fuck? Yeah, they have like the League of Legends. What? Yeah, there's League of Legends, but Pokemon. I forgot it's called. It's not good. Don't bother. I think that's that's only ones I played, whatever. My top three would be legends, RCS. I have for that one's fucking great. So I'm kind of with you. So Heart, Gold and Soul, Silver. Those are essentially crystal, but the remakes, I like the remakes better. So I'd say those are my number two. And then picking between Platinum or Emerald is pretty much impossible for me. So those two would kind of be kind of be tied for me. Yeah, McNally was a Digimon kid, so he can't even do any input. Did you not play? Now, I played as a kid, but I haven't played as an adult. I used to like I was Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon. Oh, I've played. I've played like every Yu-Gi-Oh game. Everyone's like Digimon, we should. Did I had a Digimon blanket growing up? Like my main comforter on my bed was Digimon. And I didn't know what the fuck Digimon were. My mom just bought it for me. I think she thought it was Pokemon didn't really know the difference. Definitely. And I just had this bedsheet. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't fucking like it or care about what was going on on it. And there's this like, dude, they're just strange little. There was one cool one, though. I remember he kind of looked like a little dinosaur. He was like a little orange dinosaur. They were like metal clothes. Yeah. And then he like evolved. And he was like, I think they're Pikachu. I'm pretty sure. Like, yeah, OK. When I ever see. And then what else was on there? There was one that kind of looks like. He almost looked like a like big turtle guy, but he's like a tank. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't really. The fact that I don't remember any of them other than that guy. And it was on my bedsheet for like five years. There was a blue one, too. There was a blue one. Oh, like a little sonic. Yeah, I can't hold on. I want to want to look them up. It's like it's actually wild to be looking at this and having a place for the to the past. Yeah, I want to see if I can find my exact bedsheet, actually. I'm going to I'm going to take a look. Going to buy it again. Did you know? Now, I grew up on some real shit. I want you to just if this rings a bell, let me know. But before Pokemon, before anything, one of the first pieces of digital media that I ever consumed. Oh, my God, I found it immediately. It was a show called Veggie Tales. Yes, sir. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So I'm going to my blankets. Yes, sir. Oh, I remember that like, yeah, the seal. Well, yeah, and then there was like that seal. And then there are the little fucking through the little ladybug, the red ladybug guy. I would look, but I'm a pile of logs. I just remember the. Charizard. And there's a fucking like walrus thing. I can look on my phone and then the. My God, the like hamster with wings. Yeah, that was my fucking. That was my bedsheet for like five years when I was a little kid. I didn't know who any of those motherfuckers were. You ever have like an adult come around you and call it Pookie Man? Pookie Man's. Oh, sure. No, I said that pissed me off. So much Pokemon. You're right. You fucking bitch. You fucking. It's like what? When my parents were like, when my parents were calling, we call it Mario. We see the Mario. Mario. But my dad still does that. Mario carts. I mean, I say that is good to be retarded. You are. Yeah, I don't know why. Well, dude, I still remember telling my grandma that I got a Wii and she fucking unironically pointed to the bathroom. She my grandma fucking pranked me. I was so excited. I literally got the console set it up and my grandma came over to babysit me. I was like, grandma, you're gonna babysit me. I got a Wii. But she's. Grandma, you just kind of point out. I was like, no, no, it's Nintendo. Oh, the Nintendo Wii. Yeah, she had no fucking clue what was going on. Where did you watch and play Wii bowling, though? And I was crazy. What? Grandma. What? Wow. It's fucked up. I remember being a little young. You met my grandma at my wedding, bro. You met that woman. Oh, yeah. No, she was a grand woman. And she was really nice. Oh, yeah, she was. Yeah, my grandma was there. Oh, what the fuck? She fucked her. Right. She actually. Well, I mean, she even like she touched up on my butt. And yeah, she was like, goons ran a train on my grandma. She ran a train on me. And all that was left were issues. Which you can go drink in gamers. And you. And 10% of your. Oh, that is it. And same transition. Oh, my God. You could fuck. You could also have. And off fuck. Nobody else can fuck my grandma. OK. All right. Game of Thrones. She's off limits. I don't know if you would. My grandma's off limits to all of you. Only fuck. Oh, fake friend. Yeah, real real friends would let their homies hit. Is your grandma alive? I think if anyone. If anyone were to get my grandma a bank shot, I think she would die. I think she would perish. Fuck it. Splitter down the middle. I get to backshot and then I get to drink her. When we have it. That's crazy. We're just making extra product for Mr. GamerSuffs. Yes, sir. Supplements. Mr. Supplement. Yep. John's Supplement, if you will. Mr. Supplement. Senior. I really I'm really excited for next week's episode where we get to we get to go through a bountiful list of John's and really figure out who the. Yeah, we should. We should put out a tweet. Maybe we'll put out a tweet right now to make sure we pull one out. So we have a cure and then we do we have a discord. It's just. Is your name John? Are you interesting? And then we just need to, you know, we need like a. I was going to say, yes, my name is John. You know, I'm not interesting. It should be. We need your resume, though. What makes you resume? Yeah. What makes you a standout John? Yeah, in a world full of John's. What makes you an exciting John? In a Johnny John world, who is the fullest among you? Yeah, I'm. Crazy. This podcast is fucking wild. It is. We went from I forget what the first half was about. Then it was Pokemon for a solid bit. It was worms for a really long time. It was 30. It was 30 minutes of worms into 30 minutes of Pokemon. Yeah, into whatever the fuck this is. This is good. The logs would like to know how long we've been going. The line is long. Bob. I don't know. Fifty seven minutes and 53 seconds. The logs. Thank you. Where's long Bob's penis? He's got a pussy. Dude, don't fucking Bob. Get out of here. No. No. Poochie. I see some cat. Are you showing? I showed Robert. Yeah. Hello, Bob. Penis. A little Taylor's freak. No. He's got no tail. No cock. No balls. No bitches. Nothing. My. D. Tail. That's really. Can't get a. Or. I can't believe my cat almost scratched me. Your eye was it laced? Was it laced? Yeah. The cat did almost do that. Actually Bob almost fucking repierced my ear the other day. I picked him up and he went to stretch and his claw literally got hooked on my old. Oh my God. Oh my. Oh. Yeah. Oh, I don't know about that. I didn't I kind of like Robert. Hello, Robert. My eye was sore for like a week. I was bugging. I thought that, you know, I fucked my eye up. I think you should have done it back to him to set a precedent. Like he's just relaxing and just fucking clawed. It made me think for a second. It made me think for a second. It was like, damn, if my cat took my eyeball, like. The human instinct is to like grab them from behind legs and like smash them on the floor like a monkey. But you can't do that because you love them and they're like your little baby. So did they. Yeah, even if they did blind. What? He didn't actually do that. He really liked Mario. So he grabbed a cat and he said so long gay Bowser and he threw the cat. Oh, what? He would have been like what? Like eight. I used to six. Yeah. No, he was he was very, very on cats. So ten years old. Canceling to defeat. It's your way. We've all been young and done fucking horrific horrible shit to animals because we don't know what it is. Like in your mouth. What do you mean? You pop frogs like like a like a fruit. Gush or bitch. I'm popping frogs. Would you like frogs? I'm like in my pocket like Shrek, you'd make him a balloon and. I just grew from screaming. It gets like a bellows and just fucking blows them up. Thanks for listening to the Goons podcast. Squeeze them until I got a boner. Pop a frog on that note. Me better. No, make sure to go to G. Use code Goons and make sure you don't have worms. And let us know if your name is John. Let us know in the comments down below. But I will put out a tweet or on YouTube. Check the Twitter as well. And yeah, we'll be sourcing a big group of John's. It could be John's. It could be John. It'll be John. The things it could be John the fun. Anything John of Jason. Yep. Anything John. It has to be John, though. You could be even John, J E A and like a fucking disgusting dirty French and we'll still have you on the show. We won't. Thank you for listening. Make sure you like and subscribe if you're watching on YouTube and download on Spotify.