Happier with Gretchen Rubin

A Little Happier: A Very Surprising Truth that I Learned in Law School

6 min
Feb 23, 2026about 2 months ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

Gretchen Rubin reflects on what she retained from law school, highlighting three key concepts: the importance of diversification, the power of informal social norms over formal law enforcement, and the observation that people largely govern themselves through unwritten rules rather than legal coercion.

Insights
  • Most people follow laws by choice rather than fear of enforcement, as formal legal systems are too expensive and difficult to enforce universally
  • Informal social norms and self-governance are more effective at maintaining order than formal legal structures
  • The fluency heuristic explains why memorable, rhyming statements like 'the investor who is wise diversifies' stick in memory better than complex information
  • People with strong rule-following personalities may lack the imagination to conceive of breaking laws, representing a potential blind spot in understanding human behavior
  • There is a cost to both breaking and obeying the law, requiring individuals to consciously choose which price they're willing to pay
Trends
Growing interest in behavioral economics and how informal systems outperform formal regulationRecognition that personality frameworks (like Four Tendencies) influence legal and ethical decision-makingShift toward understanding law as a social construct dependent on voluntary compliance rather than enforcementIncreased focus on how cognitive biases (fluency heuristic) shape memory and decision-making in professional contextsExploration of how different personality types perceive rules and boundaries differently
People
Robert Ellickson
Yale Law School property professor whose book 'Order Without Law' influenced Rubin's understanding of informal social...
Ralph Winter
Yale Law School business organizations professor who taught Rubin about investment diversification and the fluency he...
Jamie Heller
Yale Law School classmate and co-author with Rubin of 'Restatement of Love' published in Yale Law Journal
John Gardner
Writer whose observation that 'every time you break the law, you pay, and every time you obey the law you pay' influe...
Winston Churchill
British statesman referenced in Rubin's discussion of how those who value order cannot imagine lawlessness
Quotes
"the investor who is wise diversifies"
Ralph Winter
"law is far less important than is generally thought. He demonstrates that people largely govern themselves by means of informal rules, social norms"
Robert Ellickson (via description)
"It's almost impossible to make people follow the law. It's too hard and too expensive to enforce laws. For the most part, people decide to follow the law."
Robert Ellickson
"every time you break the law, you pay, and every time you obey the law you pay"
John Gardner
"Sometimes those who love order and have a traditional understanding of the proper limits of behavior can't see the terrible possibilities available to those who are willing to go beyond all lawful boundaries"
Gretchen Rubin
Full Transcript
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Lemonada I'm Gretchen Rubin, and this is A Little Happier. One thing that surprises and interests me as an adult is what I remember from my education I spent years in school I learned many things most of which I have long forgotten For instance law school I spent three years at Yale Law School. I took many classes. I sat for long exams. What do I remember? Not much, but certain things do stick. For one thing, from my second year in law school, I remember my business organizations professor, Judge Ralph Winter, telling us, almost as an aside, the investor who is wise diversifies. That is excellent advice and many diverse situations. Incidentally, that line also taught me the power of the fluency heuristic, the cognitive tendency that means that we judge easy to process information as more true, valuable, or preferable than information that requires more effort to understand. Statements that rhyme are easier to remember. I also remember my absolute delight when I encountered the concept of a restatement of law, which is a kind of treatise that attempts to clarify and systematize common law in a particular area, such as contracts, torts, or property. I love that kind of thing. In fact, with co-author Jamie Heller, a law school classmate who is still one of my best friends, I published a parody restatement in the Yale Law Journal called Restatement of Love, tentative draft. And I'll put a link to it in the show notes. And I say it's a parody, but be warned, it's only funny if you are very familiar with restatements. But maybe the idea that I most often recall and that I most often invoke in everyday life is an observation made by my property professor, Robert Ellickson, who wrote an influential book called Order Without Law, How Neighbors Settle Disputes. Here's the description. In order without law, Robert Ellickson shows that law is far less important than is generally thought. He demonstrates that people largely govern themselves by means of informal rules, social norms, that develop without the aid of a state or other central coordinator. Integrating the latest scholarship in law, economics, sociology, game theory, and anthropology, Ellickson investigates the uncharted world within which order is successfully achieved without law. That an idea I always remembered And I remember him saying in class and of course this is what I remember decades later so I cannot guarantee its accuracy but this is what I remember It him saying it almost impossible to make people follow the law It's too hard and too expensive to enforce laws. For the most part, people decide to follow the law. I feel very strongly about the law and the importance of the rule of law. I get tears in my eyes every time I see the words inscribed above the main entrance of the United States Supreme Court building, equal justice under law, and the words inscribed under the East pediment, justice, the guardian of liberty. Also, in my Four Tendencies personality framework, I'm an upholder, which means that I readily meet both inner and outer expectations. It's absolutely astonishing to me sometimes to see people just decide not to follow the law, flagrantly to flout it. I marvel at their imagination. It simply wouldn't occur to me to break a law, to see that it could be broken. For instance, if I promised I would do something, it just wouldn't occur to me that I could decide not to do it. It wouldn't even cross my mind. And I've come to understand that that's truly a failure of vision on my part. Because it's possible, it's obviously possible, to choose to become the kind of person who doesn't follow the law. This observation reminds me of another little happier story I told, in which, in a surprising and probably unprecedented matchup, I discuss how British statesman Winston Churchill and Lady Olenna Tyrell, a fictional character from the HBO series Game of Thrones, make an identical observation. Sometimes those who love order and have a traditional understanding of the proper limits of behavior can't see the terrible possibilities available to those who are willing to go beyond all lawful boundaries. I'm also reminded of an observation made by writer John Gardner, one that haunts me. John Gardner wrote, every time you break the law, you pay, and every time you obey the law you pay There is a price for breaking the law and there is a price for obeying the law What my law professor pointed out is that to a much greater degree than might be supposed it's possible to decide for yourself. I'll link to the book Order Without Law and to the Little Happier about Churchill and Lady Olenna in the show notes. I'm Gretchen Rubin, and I hope this makes your week a little happier. From the Onward Project. do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions? Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else, but is not very important to me? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude, restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier. With greater self-knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for I Am O with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson wherever you get podcasts. You can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships. Kiki Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success. Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.