How Hope Can Heal and Free Us – Part 2

Welcome friends to the Tara Brock Podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Each week I share teachings and guided meditations to help us awaken our hearts and bring healing to our world. You can learn more or support this offering by visiting TaraBrock.com where you can also join our email list. Now let's explore together the many ways we can live from the love and presence that's our deepest essence. Namaste. This fall we experimented for about six weeks with including an ad before this podcast. And we've decided not to move forward with any more advertising. Many of you shared that it disrupted the flow of your listening and I really understand it didn't feel aligned with the spirit of this offering. These teachings and meditations will continue to be freely available and your support truly makes that possible. Thank you friends. Thank you for whatever you've offered and for your continued generosity in whatever form feels right to you. Namaste. Welcome friends. Thank you for being here. My first long meditation retreat and this was over 40 years ago. The teacher that was speaking talked about Buddha nature which is the awake awareness that's really our shared source. And during his talk he asked us to reflect and he asked a question. He said, do you trust that you have Buddha nature that this light love awareness is your essence? And you might ask yourself that question. Do you trust that? For myself, first I said sure and then I went well, sometimes. And I thought of all those moments that I was caught in insecurity and fears in limiting beliefs and feeling guilt and addictive behaviors, you know, the trans of unworthyness. And I would say that perhaps the biggest shift in me over the decades is that the same emotions in mind states can arise but they don't obscure that deeper truth of who I am. And of the hope and possibility of living more fully from that truth, from that light, from loving awareness. So this is this talk that we're going to be sharing together is part two of spiritual hope. And the basic understanding is that hope arises out of that trust in who we all really are. And yes, of course it gets clouded over. And yes, of course that basic Buddha nature gets clouded over and we have potential for cruelty and for violence and hope reminds us that we have the potential to evolve, to manifest light and love. So just stepping back, I chose this theme starting early in the year 2026 here because it feels that nourishing hope is crucial in a time of darkness. I mean imagine the difference between a society marked by hopelessness and communities that even in the face of great oppression hold hope and not a false optimism but openness to possibility that the goodness in us humans can emerge and can move us in ways that bring more loving to the world. So in our personal lives and collectively, it's spiritual hope that actually gives us the energy to turn towards the light. And it's not so much with a focus on the future. It's more manifesting what's here right now. I think of Thomas Merton, often who said, do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. We don't know what's going to unfold, but we serve by staying open to what's possible and by choosing love again and again. So friends, I hope these reflections on spiritual hope serve you as you enter this new year. The last session or class, the focus was on the role of hope on the spiritual path. And I was contrasting spiritual hope to egoic hope, a kind of more narrow, grasping kind of hope. And the mark of egoic hope is that we're wanting certain outcomes to come to pass in the future. So I hope I'll get a raise or when the Olympic gold or whatever it is. So there's a kind of narrowed hope. And with it, along with the grasping, there's a kind of a fear that it won't work out. And there's a real narrowed attention. It's like we miss the universe around us because we've got this idea we want just something in particular. A favorite example has always been this story of an older woman who's kind of sitting on a bench, a park bench in Miami, and very disheveled man and tattered clothing comes and sits down next to her. And so she asks, so how are you? And he said, well, actually, I'm just out of prison, 25 years. And she says, oh, what were you in for? He said, murdering my wife. And she said, oh, so you're single. So what happens is that we don't, if we have an agenda, because we're hoping for a certain thing, and we're just not available to how life really is, the hoping for a certain thing to happen a certain way actually makes us so we're not receptive and available and attuned to a whole mystery that's unfolding around us. And this happens even in spiritual realms. And we have an idea of we're meditating and we have an idea of how we want our practice to be. And when it's not the way we have the idea, it's not crystal rainbows and lights and so on, if there's anxiety that arises or obsessive thoughts, we think, oh, this isn't supposed to be here. And rather than opening to what is and letting whatever's here be a portal, we're kind of searching for it to be different or grasping. And of course, it happens for many people when we have ideas of the future and how things are supposed to evolve. What kind of heaven realms we want to be able to transcend into either during our life or in the afterlife. And there's a story about two friends, Norman and Irv, who had a deep interest in the esoteric. And they had this sense or this belief that after they died, there was some way to keep in contact with those on still in form. So they made a deal that whoever was the first to die would get in touch and kind of describe how it was to live in the afterlife when more transcendent realms. So Irv dies first. And Norman doesn't hear from for a year and just decides, okay, there's no afterlife. But one day he gets a call and it's Irv and he goes, oh, so there is an afterlife. Wow, because he's hearing this message, his voice in his mind. So he says, what's it like? And Norman asks, and this is Irv's response, he goes, well, I sleep very late. I have a big breakfast and I have lots of sex, lots of sex. And I go back to sleep, but I get up for lunch, I have a big lunch, more sex, take a nap, too, you'd end up more sex and it goes on and on. Wow, says Norman, so that's what happens really like, oh, no, says Irv, I'm not in heaven. I'm a moose in Wyoming. So we have ideas and they get in the way of our availability to really discover the reality of the moment. Any idea does. So spiritual hope and contrast to these ideas about how a clutter should be. It arises from a trust of consciousness that love is here, consciousness is here, it's living through us and it's timeless. It's not really a hope for something in the future, it's that hope and sense of openness that the unfolding of consciousness right here and now. It's described as an attitude of the soul and I really like that expression, this spiritual hope. It's this wisdom that recognizes our potential to realize a fully awakened heart mind. And that sense of our potential makes us available moment to moment to what's right here. Here's Hamid Ali, the way he describes it. He says, hope, we're talking about what he sometimes describes as holy hope, is a state of trust that everything will be okay. It's a feeling of optimism, an attitude of openness and true receptivity to what the unfolding of being presents to us. What makes it that everything will be okay? It's that the love and awareness that we belong to is living through us this very moment. That's what gives us the trust. So spiritual hope doesn't have to do with the future. When I look ahead, when I think of the future, a lot of the time I just get anxious. I just think of I have too much to do and it just gets me tight. That's what comes up habitually when I think of the future. And that's not to say there aren't skillful ways you can think of the future that serve hope, but they have to point you back to the value of being present. Does that make sense? If you have an idea of the future and it's like and the message is, oh, everything you want is by being present. That's a useful one. So as we're going to explore, fueling and nurturing, spiritual hope comes out of connecting right here, more fully with our life, our bodies, our hearts, our awareness. It's a reconnecting. Now, in Buddhism, it's always to me, it's just very striking that really the heart of Buddhism is this attitude of hope. That the first noble truth says, okay, they're suffering, there's discontent. And the second noble truth says that it arises because we're always grasping after things are pushing things away. And the third noble truth says, but freedom's possible. For any of us, freedom is possible. This is the message. And the example of the Buddha is just the only value of it. Is it an example of a human being caught in grasping, caught in pushing things away? That was able to come home to a larger sense of being, to that awareness and love that's here. Freedom is possible. Fourth noble truth is the path to that freedom. How to manifest that potential. So the path is grounded in hope. And when we're shy on hope, there are ways to nourish it. And that's what we're going to look into tonight. We're going to two things. One is what blocks us. You know, what really blocks us from having that attitude of possibility. And the second is when we're blocked, really, how do we move into that sense of, oh, okay, it's here. I can draw on this. Hope gets blocked. It gets disabled. We contract away from a natural sense of openness or optimism when we have some experience of severed belonging. And I like that that term. It's very much in the field of psychology that I think it's useful. It's really a felt sense of severed belonging. It's not actual severed belonging. We can't be severed. We are awareness. There's nothing, no severing, but there's a felt sense from a small self-respective that we've been caught off in some way. It happens typically for many and early childhood because our parents also had severed belonging and are unable to create that kind of resonance field where we're seeing and gotten for who we are and where we're embraced for who we are. So when there's not a really safe loving filled with understanding kind of attunement in our home life, that is a sense of being caught off. It's really interesting that researchers are discovering more and more how when there's enough nurturance, when there's really good mirroring, you know, I see you, I get you. That is actually what activates the neural connections in the frontal cortex. So our capacity, especially the relational network in the frontal cortex that has to do with empathy and compassion, that gets activated when as young children were in a resonance field. And when we're not, in other words, if we don't get seen and we don't get that loving, we don't get the full activation of our frontal cortex. We're not able to engage in relationship so fully because there's not trust. There's some sense of danger. When that happens, instead of being guided by a wholeness or an integrated brain and a, you know, in a way cart, we're guided by our limbic system that looks for what's threatening and dangerous and tends not to trust others. And it's really seen there's some animal studies that showed in a very kind of dramatic way. Some studies with chimps when the mother is erratic and mothering. Sometimes they're sometimes not. And erratic is what sets off the sense of insecurity and trauma. When the mother's erratic, the chimped babies end up binge eating, being anti-social, withdrawn, and fearful. Now, does that sound familiar? You know, I mean, how many of us? So it really creates the groundwork for depression because when we're cut off from a sense of that connection with others, when we're living in anxiety, the tendency is to want to push under our life energy because it's so unpleasant. So that's one level that it happens is in childhood when there's not good enough parenting. But it also happens through our life when we have experiences of being violated or rejected or some threat to our health where we really sense that we could die when there's dramatic accidents. Anytime we feel unsafe in some sort of ongoing way, that can end up creating that sense of severed belonging, mistrust, lack of hope. We can see it culture-wide when we really look at historically marginalized groups. So all these studies of Native American groups in Canada, United States, and how generational trauma has created this experience of depression, addiction, anxiety, the same thing we see when we humans are animals, make things unsafe, and we lose access to hope, and we go into anxiety, depression, and addictive behavior. See it very much in front of us right now with the ongoing oppression of violence towards African-Americans. I was teaching on the West Coast, where I wanted to give a talk at Salesforce, and one of the women I was talking to there was describing how the fear she experiences when her partner goes out to the supermarket when it's late at night, because it's increasingly violence and Black men getting stopped and never know there's going to be some sense of right on the streets either killed by police or attacked by a gang member. So she lives in fear, and Tana Heisekcoach describes as the fear for the bodily cell. This ongoing sense of fear of severed belonging cuts us off from hope. We can't sense the possibility of what we might experience in our lives. So it's biggest expression is when there's full trauma. Full trauma means we're fully severed, there's full severed belonging, we're completely gripped by the limbic system. But for most of us, if we haven't had full trauma, there are ways we have felt severed belonging, each of us. And to the extent we have to whatever degree that means that we're going to have some lack of access to really trusting our own body, trusting our heart, trusting that others care, trusting the earth, the web of life. I think in particular about depression because it's such a one of the most common and really excruciating versions of severed belonging that when the life energy just depresses what's there and the feeling of no hope, it's a real prison, a biological and psychological prison for anyone that has experienced depression knows it. When we don't have hope, it feels like torment. And so we begin to look at for any of us on the spectrum, how do we reconnect when there's severed belonging at any level, how do we reconnect? And the first thing is again to say it's possible to reconnect that the Buddha said that I wouldn't be teaching you this Dharma, this path if it wasn't possible to be free, if it wasn't possible to reconnect, if it wasn't possible to be happy. So freedom's possible, it's an intrinsic capacity within us and there's a pathway and we're going to look at now how to reconnect to the aliveness and the moment into our lives. What I'd like to do and this will be for the rest of this talk is draw some examples of different people who really kind of hit bottom. It's sometimes that's more extreme but I think in a way often in order to find our way to hope we have to hit bottom that all of our kind of false refuges, all our compensatory techniques, they don't really work, they don't bring us a deep sense of trust that allows us to move through the ups and downs of life, and we're on our roller coaster usually. So the first person like to bring in is William James and many of you know of him as American philosophers, psychologists, educator, and also as one of the well-known people that really introduced us to altered states that reality is not just this narrow version that we have of it. So his story, and it's an interesting story, he came from a really accomplished family and his brother Henry was super successful writer and William in his 30s who was unaccomplished, he wanted to be a painter, then he gave that up and went to medical school but then he quit that to do an expedition of the Amazon but that didn't work out either and then in a moment of reckoning, he wrote this in his diary, he questioned that he had the capacity to be in any way productive in his life and that he should be alive at all. Okay, so that counts as hitting bottom, right? That's pretty good. So yeah, then I guess any possibility was there then, I think, really didn't have a reason to be alive that he said before I do anything rash, I'm going to do a one-year experiment. And this is like, I think this was fascinating. So he did a one-year experiment, he decided that no matter what thoughts arose, no matter how hopeless, how depressed, he would keep turning his attention to the assumption that change was possible. That was it, he was going to every time he had certain types of thoughts like hopeless, hopeless, unproductive, never going to work, he would just turn to the assumption of change as possible. Not, I'm a great person and I'm going to, you know, I'm getting better and better every day, you know, the thing you put on your refrigerator, but change is possible, okay? All right, so he tracked in his diary and he practiced every day as if things could get better, as if he could transform. And he became increasingly receptive to opportunities in that mindset and his energy got engaged and he got more and more aligned with deeper interests. We married, he started teaching at Harvard, creative study group, the metaphysical club, he wrote a letter after this experiment, he said, I possessed for the first time an intelligible and reasonable conception of freedom. Free to manifest our potential. So this feels like a really super relevant story for us because the training that we do in, well, we're practicing mind from the synchrom passion, really it begins with being able to step out of the trans of thoughts that keep our biology and our mood and our attitude really small in that present. We begin to notice, oh, if I'm thinking this, this is my sense of who I am, I'm going to stay stuck in this pattern. So we step out of so deep thoughts. The Buddha said, whatever a person frequently thinks she reflects on, that will become the inclination of their mind. So you see, hopelessness has to be fueled by thoughts. That mood has to be fueled. So we begin to ask ourselves, what kind of thoughts do we have regularly? Are they thoughts that are going to keep us sensing limitation? Are they thoughts that are going to open us to which possible and bring us right back into this moment? Friend told me a story of a couple who really love to travel, we're living it very fully. He got a diagnosis of Parkinson's and this friend described how they continued very lively and engaged, very open with a real capacity for joy and the way they did it, they had this agreed-on attitude which is that they're going to have a conscious intention to allow each day to be as good as it could be. Not saying it had to be a certain way, some days could be really hard, oh, exhausted all day, but they were open to even with that having the most presence or care, tenderness or curiosity, kindness, sat openness and it's an attitude. So let's just take a little moment to practice on this level. So it's working with the thoughts a bit. So one expression, a severed belonging, is limiting thoughts and one way to reestablish belonging is to wake up out of them, come back to the living experience, be open to what's possible right here. So I invite you to bring to mind an area in your life where you might feel some doubt or you might have some limiting thoughts, not be so hopeful. It might be around work or it might be in a certain relationship that feels very stuck, hurtful, dead-ended, reactive. It might be that you have some limiting ideas and doubts about your health, about your spiritual unfolding, or somewhere you feel emotionally stuck. And when you sense the area that you're re-get caught and doubt, you might deepen your listening in just sense, what is it you're most believe in or telling yourself? That you don't have the capacity to make things different, so that you don't have the capacity to live with what's going on, what's unfolding. That it's too much, that something bad's around the corner. Just take a moment to sense whatever it is you're believing, how that belief in prisons. You might sense if you're running that belief through your mind when you're believing it, when you're believing in your limitation, your lack of capacity, how it severs you from being available. It severs you from that openness, that receptivity, they're actually not so available to life. Just bring a very kind presence to both the activity of the belief and the squeeze or the prison that it creates, so that you're breathing, and as if you're really from your deepest, wise, self- just bearing witness with real kindness. Sense that you can perceive this from your highest and wisest self, how a smaller part of you's caught, and also see beyond how your wisest part of you can sense possibility. And you might imagine what your life would be like if you didn't believe the limiting thoughts. Just get a glimpse. What does it feel like in your body if you just were alone in sense? What would it be like if I didn't believe? Just let your body sense that, that sense of possibility, that mystery, that aliveness, that all of a sudden becomes available. And for now, just to honor that, something that you can tap into, that like William James, you can notice when limiting thoughts come. And on purpose, inviting your deepest wisdom, turn to the light, to the sense of possibility. Open your eyes. So that's the first, first avenue back to belonging is that we wake up out of the limiting thoughts. The second example of rediscovering our belonging is Henry Thoreau. We're back in history, males, back a century or so. So in his time, a neighbor put it, he was an irresponsible idler, a trial to his family, a no credit to his town. He was seen as a loser. And as a writer, he was disregarding the Beckwald and languished on bookshelves for years. Okay? So age 26, Thoreau goes to New York City, and he wants to establish himself in the literary scene there. And he tries to develop his career in a conventional way and adopt the kind of style and fashion of the day. He tries to be like those that were popular, totally crashes, rejected. So he goes home and he's doing a lot of soul searching, and he basically discovers what happened, that he had lost touch with his own being and trying to be the way the world thought he should be, or the way he thought the world thought he should be. Anyway, meeting expectations and so on. So he really asked himself, you know, what is that I love? And he returned to his beloved woods with wisdom from failure, which was you have to be who you are. You have to stay true to what you love. So he found the still point, the center of the natural world, and it was for him 1.5 miles from home. And I thought it was interesting, there's mother would bring him cookies and sandwiches. So he was still this loafer, you know, but he was a loafer that he found his way back home again. And what he found was a tendiveness to nature, this natural world was a way to come home to the nature of his inner world. This was his pathway to belonging. So his message, this is a quote, one should be always on the train of one's own deepest nature, or it is the fearless living out of your own essential nature that connects you to the divine. So there's this homecoming that comes in the face of having to extricate ourselves from this idea of we're supposed to be a certain way. Because it's a deep, deep imprint on every one of us that we should act a certain way, we should be successful in a certain way, we should look a certain way. So for us to imagine who would I be in this moment if I was not obeying any of that, what really matters to me? Lumi puts it this way, let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kiss the ground. So there's an inquiry here for each of us. Are we really kissing the ground in a way that aligns with our particular body, mind, spirit? Personal story, my father was a lawyer and also a social activist. And when I went to college, my plan was I was going to go to college and then go to law school and do law and the service of social change. And so I went in thinking I was going to go to law school and I came out and joined an ashram, spiritual community. So something happened in there, some shift. My understanding is that I got it very involved, you know, with tenants' rights organizing, community organizing, and left wing activity that was really trying to address inequity in the culture. And while the causes were fabulous, same causes I believe in today, the energy was very militant. It was very shaking a fist at the heavens and making others wrong and bad. It felt very polarizing and divisive. So I began to do yoga and meditation. And it was like I came alive, I was, oh, we could come home to a sense of open-heartedness and presence with others that if that's the consciousness I want to live from and act from, and I could tell I needed to really immerse myself. So I switched gears instead of law school, I joined an ashram. And just to say that I had a lot to face the workout in doing that because, you know, there was is some guilt that I wasn't being a social change agent in the way that my family most admired. And both my parents were real active. And not only that, I wasn't on an apparent career track at all. So I just want to name that my example comes with a lot of privilege. You know, I was in my early 20s. I didn't have anyone to support. I was joining pretty much of a commune. I didn't have to earn money. And so, and my parents were very supportive actually. They were actually fabulous. And still, even if we can't change our job so it fully matches energetically, what we feel is the way of kissing the ground. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground. And if we're not kissing the ground, if we're not doing what we love, then we're not nourishing hope. It says the row put it that we really have to stay aligned with our spirit in this. So we'll take another moment to reflect a few hours. Again, wait, severed belonging, went through our parents, our culture. We leave ourselves, leave the life that really expresses what we love. And how do we reconnect? You might ask yourself, when you're feeling most alive and present and inflow in a wake, what's going on? What are you doing? What is it you love? You might imagine an open space of time with zero demands and expectations. What do you want to do with that? Just as a starting point, we know the expectations are there, but first find what do you love? Do you love being with certain people? Do you love gardening or hiking? Do you love serving? Feeling that you're helping? Do you love creativity? Painting or dancing or music? Do you love non-doing? Just being still? Take a moment to choose just one thing you love. You may love manny, manny, but one thing that you know you really love. Just imagine it since yourself engaged in what you love. Since what you most love about it, which the actual felt experience, what's going on inside you, what's the quality of presence that arises that makes us so precious. Just sense that background of presence, that being quality that you have access to. Since who you are when you're doing what you love, when you're kissing the ground. And know that this is another pathway to belonging to your heart to aliveness. This is the pathway to living with the sense of possibility in every moment to take the time to kiss the ground. Rumi says, let yourself be silent we draw by the strong or polar of what you love. Okay, so we've talked a bit about the severed belonging that comes when we get limiting thoughts and waking up out of them and exploring now the sense of kissing the ground, coming back to what we love. Oscar Wilde puts it this way, he says, be who you are. Everyone else is taken. So when we belong to ourselves in our life, we rediscover that sense of possibility and hope. Next one I want to discuss is comes from the question of yeah, but I don't know what I love. You know, sometimes when we're really depressed, we don't know what we love. We don't find joy in things. And so the next teaching on on re-discovering belonging is the centerpiece of all Dharma, which is then belong to what's right here in this moment, including the misery and the pain and the sorrow and the sadness belong to this moment's experience. The benefit is if you start right where you are with this moment, it will become a portal to the presence that we long for. But we've start by being with what is. Woman last week again, I was, unless we go as out in the Bay Area and did a day long on relationships, on loving relationships. And she was describing the series of the habits that led to failed relationships for her. And what happens is she's anticipating that she's going to be rejected in some way that there's going to be an unevenness that she'll want it one, partner alone. And then she starts, when she starts detecting a pulling away she grasps on and feels possessive or jealous or whatever. And then things crash, the person pulls away even more. And then she gets depressed, kind of hopeless, it's not going to work. And that kind of stays in that for a while until something possible comes along and then she replays the pattern. So this has been what had been going on for a long time. And then she started practicing with mindfulness and compassion. And her practice became as we described with William James when she'd see the thoughts of this isn't going to work. I'm going to be rejected. She would put it like a picture frame around them and say, okay, these are the thoughts of my feelings. If I'm going to fail, I'm going to be rejected. Then she'd come into her body and underneath those thoughts were fear. And underneath that fear, there was a sense of shame, of I'm not wanted, I'm unlovable, and real loneliness. And her practice would just simply be with that with a really deep compassion. She just told herself, I'm here with you, dear, I'm here with you, dear, I'm not leaving. And when she'd leave and the thoughts again of, oh, this is going to fail, I'm going to be rejected. She'd come back and feel the feelings again. I'm here with you, dear. I'm putting my hand on my heart because that's a way to reconnect and establish belonging. It was the thing her parents did not do when she was upset. They didn't know how to say, I'm here with you, dear. Okay, so she did it for herself. And she said there was a real wake up one day when she sensed that the one who was offering care was tremendously tender, tremendously present, tremendously kind. She says, oh, that's me. This is my capacity, this is my potential. And she started paying attention to that, bringing her attention to that, this is me, meaning this is my more evolved potential being. Well, this started shifting the pattern. And as she described it, you know, that with the next relationship, she was able to hold it a little more lightly because she was trusting more this goodness. And she was able to be more open about her security because she didn't have to cover because it didn't seem so toxic. She started developing a relationship and her way was, I'm with you, dear, staying right with what's here. And I can say just to extend on this personally that countless times every day, I'll feel the arising of anxiety. And it comes from a feeling of, you know, an old pattern of a separate self that's got too much to do. It's going to fail in some way. That'll come up. That's severed belonging. It's some version of it. And each time fear becomes a portal to the fearless heart. If I can just simply recognize it and stay a little in my body with kindness. So this isn't like only a practice for major dramatic incidents. This is like a daily way. We cultivate trust. We deepen that sense of belonging. But every time some expression of the separate self, the severed self comes out, the response says, oh, let's be right here. Be with it. Kind. It becomes a portal. And we begin to sense the potential of who we are. This presence that is incredibly tender and awake. We begin to trust that. So this is the next way of belonging is to come home to ourselves in the moment. And I want to bring up one more before we close, which is absolutely essential, which is to realize our belonging with each other. We cannot heal severed belonging. And last we can begin to come out of our bubble, begin to let ourselves feel our vulnerability in the presence of another and open to that other. And sense our love and our appreciation of that other. Otherwise, on some level, we're still going to be seeing, feeling ourselves as separate and operating out of that separeness. It's the reason that 12 step groups work. Why do they work? There's so much research now. We cannot change habits if we don't trust the potential to change. So in 12 step groups, others are around and they're beginning to change habits and that inspires us. In 12 step groups, we begin to sense, oh, it's not like I'm a bad addicted self. It's that it's the addiction we all have, the tendency we all have. Less shame. Another story for you. One woman described how she, she's in recovery for cancer and she's in a group, a group of people, a group of women that have all are all in recovery in some way. And since it's deeply honest, in other words, they name all the fears they have of dying, all the shame they have for the way they look and feel, the insecurity that others will turn them into the seer, the disease, all the pain about being helpless and needy. They very, very honest. So it's very freeing because it's not my shame. It's the shame, it's just this human experience that helps to feel severed belonging. In addition, and this is what I wanted to share with you, this woman I was talking described how one woman was feeling a huge amount of angst because of not being there for her children that she was just very feeling, very self-absorbed. She put it all there. She was just working with what was there. But she felt the thanks of letting down her family. And so they went around and they opened to the vulnerability. She was experiencing the also, went around the circle and each of them named what they saw in her, which was her humor and her deep caring and her capacity of others, how much she helped others feel accepted and cared about. And she let it in some and she really lit up and then this became part of the regular ritual that is part of healing severed belonging. They not only would share their vulnerability but they would go around in the circle and at different times take turns, look at each other and share what they saw as the goodness that light and beauty and heart that shining through. Arne Garber, Norwegian writer says, to love someone is to learn the song in their heart and sing it to them when they have forgotten. So this is the other pathway. It's relational belonging and it's absolutely essential to mirror the light for this group, one of the other before we left the day long, this woman described how naturally some people relapsed and for one week before her death she said more than anything in facing her death that this group allowed her to trust the timeless light that lived through her and it was what was allowing her to move towards her passing with a wide open heart with a fear of a thought. This is hope. Hope is not that we won't die. It's the hope that comes from trusting a timeless quality of love and presence that lives through us and shines through us and that will carry us as a refuge through all the ups and downs. To Ben and teacher and writer, Sogeo Rinpoche, I put it this way, he says, if everything changes, then what is really true? Is there something behind the appearance? Is something boundless and infinitely spacious in which the dance of change and implements takes place? Is there something in fact we can depend on that does survive what we call death? So when we have spiritual hope, it really brings alive that capacity to trust in what is timeless and open to our moment to moment experience with real sense of receptivity. So as we've explored, we cultivate it, we step out of the limit in beliefs, we kiss the ground, we do what we love, we reconnect by belonging to the immediate experience of the moment and discovering it in a truly awake intimate way, our belonging with each other. And these are the pathways that remind us of something that's timeless that can really carry us. A closing story for you and then we'll just take a few moments to sit quietly. I always loved this, this is a story about Kafka when he was an older man, he spent a lot of time sitting in a park and one day a little girl walked by and she had tears running down her face and he stopped her and said, tell me what's wrong and she said, well I'm missing my doll, my favorite doll. And he decided to help her look around, they looked around but couldn't find it. A few days later, girl returns and Kafka says there's no doll but there's a note and he reads it. What the note said was, I've gone off to travel somewhere around the world, please don't worry about me, I'm fine. So the girl's somewhat relieved, she returns to the park every week or so and each time she does Kafka's there with a note from the doll. And the girl, you know, it's just each time that he reads to the girl, you know, tells her the doll's adventures traveling around the world. So Kafka gets sick and he goes to the park one last time, this time he's brought a doll and he hands it to the girl and says the travels had really changed her. Some years later when the girl was a young woman, she finds and reads a note that's been rolled up and placed in the doll's hand, she discovers it. Here's what it says, you will lose everyone you love but the love will always return in new forms. When we opened a change, we realized the changeless, the chimes through us all. And trusting that changeless love that awareness and living from it is really the source of spiritual hope. So let's just take a few moments together to sit quietly and then the spirit of this evening's reflection, you might begin and just take a moment to sense someone who you really love. And what brings up that sense of love and just the goodness that you sense in that person. Sensing the way that person looks at you and they're loving you, caring about you. Just feeling the sense of connection you might even mentally whisper the person's name and say thank you. Just let the feeling of belonging, just energy that's connected and part of each other. Just open to that and let go of the idea of the person and just feel that warmth and the life and the shift belonging. Let yourself belong to this moment. Well, it's actually your experiencing right here in your heart and your body. And as you listen to the rain, you listen to the sound sensing the awareness that's here, that tender open space of awareness that's listening and healing the moment. Sensing in the background that a weak openness of awareness, that tenderness that's really home. Timeless loving presence. And this is from Rolka. Center of all centers, core of cores, almond, shelf and closed and growing sweet. All this universe to the further stars, all beyond them is your flesh, your fruit. Now you feel how nothing clenched to you. Your vast shell reaches into endless space and there the rich thick fluids rise and flow, illuminated in your intranet piece. A billion stars go spinning through the night blazing high above your head. But in you is the presence that will be when all the stars are dead. Now I'm a stay in blessings. cheering