Are Zombies Real?

You're listening to Pet Candy. This show is brought to you by Brave Paws, a natural stress and anxiety chewable for dogs. Learn more at MyBravePaws.com For today's sound check, Clay is doing some very, very sexy dish washing. Clay, would you like to say anything to the people at home for the sound check? Sauce. Welcome to our new show Obsessed. A show where we talk about whatever it is we're currently obsessed with. I'm Caitlin Palmer. I'm Chloe. And we're obsessed. Well, hello, our little ghouls, goblins and gosties. How are you doing this spooky season? I saw you, Clay. You're my ghouls, goblins and gosties. Plural. Yes. Well, I feel like a ghoul and a goblin. Just don't feel like a ghost and we'll be all right. Okay. Yeah, everybody, please excuse Clay. He's gotten a gnarly sinus infection. I live with a sinus infection, so my voice is only regular annoying. But Clay's got some shit going on in his face. Yeah, I'm working at like 40% efficiency. That's still great though. So it is spooky season. And we have been working on our special Halloween episode. But it's not time for that just yet. We've got one more spooktay hole to go on before the official Halloween episode clay. Are you excited? Yeah, we're a little behind because not only have I been sick, but others have been sick. Yeah. Everybody's been sick. Everyone in the vet pet candy family has been sick. I hope y'all are feeling better. I forgot to thank Dr. Jill and Vosko and Omar. Well, we did the soundtrack. Okay, so they'll have it here in the middle of the episode. Yes, sorry, Vosko. Thank you for editing out my extra bullshit. Every episode in the soundtrack, we thank Vosko and Jill and Omar and Omar. Because they're the real heroes here. But Clay, I've got a story for you and it sounds too good to be true. And many people indeed believe it is too good to be true. This is the story of the alleged real life Haitian zombie. This is an article by Fredia Yale. Now, how old is this article? 2021. Really? Okay. Yeah. Because I thought I remember something about a Haitian zombie a couple of years ago. Well, it happened a while back, but this is a newer article about it. Oh, about the same incident. Yes. Okay. Okay. Yeah, Claudius Narcisse is a... I don't know what he is. So, Halloween's right around the corner. So, let's get spooky with the real life story of a Haitian man alleged to be a zombie that came back to life. Zombies have been a part of Haitian folklore and traditionally have been believed to be deceased people who are revived by a bacor or a sorcerer. The zombie's set to be under the control of the bacor and can be used at the bacor's will. The aspect of Haitian folklore is thought to be of West African origin and today it's widely associated with Haitian voodoo practices. And that's voodoo spelled vo-yout. It's voodoo. Not voodoo? Not voodoo. Just voodoo. One of the most famous cases in history of an alleged real life zombie is that of Claudius Narcisse, a Haitian man born in 1922. In 1962, at the age of 40, he was admitted to the Schweizer hospital, which was operated by an American medical staff. Claudius symptoms included a severe fever, fatigue, and coughing up blood. Claudius was pronounced dead. Shortly afterwards, by two American doctors held in cold storage for a day and subsequently buried. Nearly 20 years later, in 1980, a man claiming to be Claudius Narcisse reappeared in the city of Lister. He confirmed his identity to his sister Angelina Narcisse and other villagers by using a childhood nickname and sharing intimate information about their family that only a family member would know. According to Claudius, he'd been paralyzed by a voodoo priest to make him appear dead and had been conscious but a mobile during the funeral. The bacor priest had exhumed him, drugged him, enslaved him, and forced him to work on a sugar plantation. He alleged that he'd been made to consume a paste which effectively rendered him unable to thank for himself and caused memory loss. He said he was forced to work on the plantation alongside other workers who'd also been drugged. When the voodoo priest died and the regular meeting ceased, or the regular medicating ceased, Claudius escaped, eventually returning home to his family. The villagers believed this story and he was considered to be a living zombie. There are even photographs of Claudius sitting on top of his own tombstone from which he allegedly had been exhumed decades prior. In the years following, several doctors and scientists investigated the case. It was particularly perplexing that Claudius' death had been verified by two American doctors when they examined him at the time. Some multiple testimonies confirmed that he had indeed died. Over the years, a number of theories have been circulated including the Claudius Woods administered with a combination of subduing consequences, including a component of pufferfish venom. Claudius died for real in 1994 at the age of 72. Also, it became Claudius deceased. Yes! There he is. He's playing sick. So Clay, zombies are one of my favorite scary things and I know you like zombies too. But what are zombies? You're asking me what zombies are? It was rhetorical. Oh, okay. Marion Webster defines zombies. I love how you always go to Marion Webster. You always Marion Webster defines. Or Encycloprilia Britannica. I use good sources. A zombie by definition is a well less and speechless human as in voodoo belief and in fictional stories held to have died and then been supernaturally reincarnated. Or the supernatural power that according to voodoo belief may enter into and reanimate a body. A person held to resemble the so-called Walking Dead aka a similar to an automaton. A person markedly strange in appearance or behavior. And it's also a mixed drink made of several types of rum, lecouar and fruit juice. Is that because it turns you into a zombie? Probably not necessarily like an unlife zombie but like a mentally incapable zombie. Right, exactly. And that is the traditional zombie, which is kind of what this episode turned into. So we decided that we were going to talk about your more common traditional Halloween creatures. The spooky things. Yeah, so you know, we've got witches, we defam buyers, zombies. The real zombies are probably scarier than anything I have yet to research on this podcast. Because if this is real, if people really did and continued to do this and Haiti, I'm not going to Haiti. Haiti sounds bad. So zombification, which originated Haiti in the 17th and 18th centuries. The idea was to take a person and turn them into a mindless slave. They'd be controlled by the Bacor, which is the Haitian voodoo sorcerer. This continues to this day. It starts with a kudapudra, which is a pounder strike, which is a mixture containing herbs, human remains, animal parts, etc. Other practices include voodoo dolls and blood or hair from the victim. This could be ingested, injected or in some instances, injected via a blow dart. So it don't matter how it gets in, yeah. Just as long as it gets in, yeah. Scientists do say this is possible. Pufferfish liver, which is a known toxin, and it's believed to be a piece of it. And other cultures, someone believed to have died ingesting pufferfish liver, which is in some places it's considered a delicacy. I don't know, it's a place they could be laid out for a few days before being buried because it was common for it to mimic death. So like in Japan, if they knew you ate pufferfish liver and you died, they'd be like, let's just make sure. Yeah, it's kind of the idea behind a wake. A wake, exactly. But I don't know if you're involved in dead. Well, I mean, but like it's a tradition that's carried over because back in the day, science wasn't super good. And you'd be like, I think this person's dead. And then they end up not being dead. I mean, you heard about the bells installed at grave sites, that kind of thing. Yes. Oh, and it's so sad. I remember that guy who buried his wife and kept having nightmares that she was still alive and like finally to make himself be able to sleep. He went and dug her up that she had died for real like in the coffin and her fingernails were gone because she'd been clung at the coffin. It was really sad. But that's the idea of the wake and why it's called a wake is basically you're waiting for them to wake up if something is going on. So you give them a few days before you put them in the ground. That makes sense. So once the victim has partaken in this voodoo stuff, oh, we have a cat on the table, which we like we now know it's believed to contain almost certainly to contain pufferfish liver. The process begins. First, immobility followed by a slow heart rate beat and shallow breathing, making the victim appear dead. Some say that the person is completely conscious the entire time. They would be declared dead and then buried and then dug back up by the Bacor. Next, the Bacor performs an ancient voodoo right where part of the soul is split into two pieces. The spirit zombie and the zombie cadavra. The spirit zombie is then captured into a vessel, usually a clay pot. So the zombie cadavra is my favorite spell for the whole body. Zombie cadavra. Zombie cadavra. My fellow old people know what that's from. I can't believe you referenced that on puppet pals. Oh, I love the puppet pals. Just a moment of silence for a puppet pals. Three people recognize what this is. Yeah, three people that that was a powerful silence we held. Thank you for being part of that. Hey, listen, I love listening to my own voice too, right? But sometimes you just gotta take a break and go listen to an ad. It's what makes the world go round. You can do it, honey. Stay tuned. We'll be right back with more Pet Candy. Hey, Pat parents. This is your favorite lifestyle guru, René Michelle. And I'm excited to tell you about my new show on Pet Candy. Join me and make some cute pet stuff. Talk about life and love and everything in between. Check out the René Michelle show on mypettacandy.com and let's have some fun. So some people say this person is conscious the entire time you got the... Zombie spirit or spirit zombie and zombie cadavra. The spirit zombie is then captured into a vessel, usually like a clay pot or something, which is wrapped in a piece of the victim's clothing or something belonging to the victim. And then it's hidden in a place that only the Bacor knows. So not unlike a horcrux. After a couple of days, the Bacor feeds the zombie a hallucinogenic mix, which renders the zombie, well, a zombie. There is a missive and completely at the will of the Bacor. They're usually made to do labor, so they're essentially slaves, and they have no memory of their past lives in this state. So literally mindless zombies. Eventually, they're either released or the Bacor dies. When this happens, they return to their senses and they'll eventually either go home to their families or some are said to go back to their graves and die for real. Which is really so. In this instance, zombies are not dangerous, but they say if you were to feed one salt, they would return to their senses and then gang up on the Bacor and kill him. And I can't say I'd blame them. Weird that it's salt? Salt isn't everything though. Exactly. So there doesn't have to be an asshood of salt? Probably a parable-be-a-metric ass-tun that's the cure for zombieism. There's a video I watch on YouTube, and it honestly, like I don't have a problem sleeping, but if I did, this probably would have made me stay up. There's a video on YouTube called Haitian Zombies. There are secrets I can't reveal and never will by Quest TV, where an alleged Bacor talks about the process. He says he doesn't even need to know where a person is buried in order to zombify them. Instead, he invokes Baron Semetti, which is the voodoo Lord of the Dead, who opens the graves of the deceased and leads them to the underworld. So it's quite a psychological circus. Not good. Yeah. Zombies are kind of scary. Rosamies. So not going to Haiti anytime soon. If we have any listeners on Haiti first of all, that's fucking cool. We will not be visiting, but you're welcome to come here. Just for the potential that you'll get hurt in the moment. Just for the potential of Bacor's. They don't even need to know where you're buried. They can just be like, hmm, you made me mad, or someone gave me money. I don't know. You, I don't have a problem with you, but you know what, sorry. Eternal Saving. Deal with that. So quite a psychological circus. You talked a little bit in the vampire. Yeah, in the vampire episode, you talked about the young she, which is a Chinese hopping vampire, but it's also a type of reanimated corpse. So it jumps around, hops around with outstretched arms to dry in the life force of its victims. It's believed that they hop around because they're stiff from rigor mortis. So they're not a zombie per se, but they're definitely in the living dead category being sustained on the life of others. Yeah. You pretty much call any incoporial undead agost and any coporial dead a zombie. Oh, that makes sense. This is general terms. That makes sense. I like it. Now, why do zombies eat brains? That's actually a newer thing. That wasn't a thing until the 1985 film Return of the Living Dead that zombies were portrayed with a hunger for brains. So this marked the shape... Great movie, by the way, which I know you haven't seen. I have seen it. Remember? Nope. Yeah. It's guarded me for life. But this is this marked that change. Prior to 1985, zombies were just mindless drones. They didn't want to eat people, but now they do. And it's because of this movie. So this marked the shift from zombies being controlled by someone else for labor to becoming a monster themselves. Dan O'Branon, who co-wrote Ridley Scott's original Alien movie. You might... Do you know the Alien movie, Sklo? Yes, of course. They're gonna save her up. So he says, in regards to why the zombie's feet on brains, the closest we've ever come to an official explanation is a quote from Return of the Living Dead's writer and director, Dan O'Branon, who suggests that the undead felt the need to feed on the brains of the recently living because somehow that made them feel better by easing their pain. And fans of the zombie genre have tried to expand on the reasoning by starting that zombies eat brains and guts because of the high levels of serotonin they contain, something that is kind of alluded to but by no means confirmed in the film's official commentary. Where the production designer for the film William Stout notes that the idea of eating brains somehow leaving the zombies' pain makes sense. I don't know about that. Honestly, I think it just sounded creepy and they were like, yeah, that was creepy about the people. Let's do that. That's my personal theory. Do you remember that movie where they ate monkey brains? It looked like ice cream? Yes. Yeah, I remember why did that come in my head? I don't know. Probably because I'm eating brains. I'm sorry, you feel so bad, honey. Everyone big round of applause for Clay, because he's really being a trooper. Because he feels like hot ass. So interestingly, throughout history, zombies only seem to target humans and not so much animals. That also depends on your source, I guess. Well, just kind of in general. But I know there are movies and stories where they do. There's even a movie where the little guy in life was the vegetarian. So he was a zombie. He went to people. Which I thought was really cute. So there's different kinds of zombies, Clay. You may know this. So we got the slow classic, zombies, that's me. And then there's the mutated zombies that are hell of fast and like going to eat you on steroids. Which one do you like better? I can tell you which one I'm more afraid of. Okay. And it's the zombies that can move fast. Really? That's a sense. Are more or less smart. Like you got your 28 days later. Oh, good zombies. Zombies where they're just basically humans with rabies. Oh, that's true. And unlimited stamina. Those suck. And I hate those. You're slow moving zombies are usually like the only thing you could do to kill them is put a bullet in their brain. Yeah, they have the creep factor. They have that unending. They don't get tired. They don't need to. But if you've got like your night of the living dead zombies, nothing stops them. Exactly. They're scary. So according to Google, there's actually several different subtypes of zombies. So you've got your biological zombies, which are parasites that modify the host or creatures behavior. The most pocus. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Got the supernatural zombies. So they were created in some sort of supernatural way, like voodoo. Chemical zombies. So strange chemicals are discovered and are meant to bring back the dead back to life. Like the T virus. Like the T virus. So far we've referenced Resident Evil twice. Yes, we love Resident Evil. Resident Evil sponsor us. Technical. What's this Resident Evil? Yeah, just not Capcom. Yeah. Who owns Resident Evil, but Resident Evil themselves. I'm relic. The IP. Technical zombies, which I don't fully understand. I thought maybe you would know. I mean, I have an idea of cyber zombies. Like, I think that was. That was definitely in a movie. I don't know. And I'm trying to remember what movie it was. It was ridiculous. It was like, oh god, I can't remember it. It's it's bugging me now, but it was like zombies that people had like weaponized. And for some reason, they had to put them in like these human-shaped cages, essentially, to help them move around. It was just ridiculous, but they like gave them weapons and stuff. It was absurd. Someone might know what I'm talking about. I love that. Tell us in the comments. There's a constructed zombie. So I'm thinking that kind of meant to be more like Frankenstein. Yeah. A corpse golem. Right. Yes, exactly. And then there's magic zombies, which to me are more like the. Like a necromancer. Oh, I like that too. Has summoned. That's also one explanation for why like those zombies are always slow and dumb. And it's because the magic is spread out over so many. Oh, that makes sense. So that not one got all this stuff. Like it's everything you know spread out among millions of them. Right. So they can only follow basic commands. Right. Right. So we talked about the real zombies, the Haitian zombies. There's the zombie virus out there in the world today. And it's real. It's called the Cordiseps virus. Clay, have you heard of the Cordiseps? No, Caitlin, you know. You know how I feel about this. Clay is terrified of Cordiseps and mushrooms in general. Yeah, fungus in general is bad. It's the only actual evil creature on the planet. It's the only thing capable of pure maliciousness. And the Cordiseps is a step above EW money bats here. We interrupt today's podcasting to listen to a word from someone who gives me money. Here, listen to them talk. Listen to them. We'll be right back with more pet candy. Does your dog shake and tremble when she hears thunder? Brave pods, anxiety and stress support chewables may promote calm behavior in dogs who exhibit nervousness or anxious behavior. Are clinically studied and patented botanical blend contains naturally occurring bioactives, which can be found to promote a sense of calm and relaxation in dogs. What's even better is it's fast acting and non-drowsy. Get it today at mybravepaws.com. I feel like you should tell us what the Cordiseps is. Oh, is that to say that you didn't put anything in your notes about it? That is correct. The Cordiseps is a type of fungus that infects a creature. In this case, this example, use ants. It infects the ant and causes the ant to act differently than it normally would. Once the fungus has spread to the ants brain, it causes the ant to climb high up and out into the open on top of tall blades of grass, branches, leaves, anywhere where it could be easily picked off by a predator. That's because in order for the Cordiseps itself to continue its cycle, it needs to be ingested by a larger creature. Usually then shit out by that creature onto something else where it can spread more Cordiseps. This process, of course, kills the insect. The final stages, if it is not eaten in time, result in the emushroom stalk forming cracking open the top of its skull and arising like a plant out of the top of its head. You may know all my Pokepaws out there may remember Paraspect, which is definitely just a bug. Yeah, that is actually a Cordiseps. That's why when it's Paras, you notice it has pupils. It's white. When it's a Parasect, the eyes turn completely white. Because it is just now a robot that the mushroom on its back controls. That's so scary. Yeah, well, here's what's scary. Whenever a Cordiseps infection breaks out in an ant colony, it completely destroys the ant colony almost every time. So what's crazy about the Cordiseps is that it has evolved specifically to target individual species of ants. It's not a big deal, except that it has evolved rapidly many times to infect not just ants, but things like grasshoppers and other arthropods. I was trying to think of another example when I've got brain fog recently. It made an a huge evolutionary jump to infect spiders. Two problems with that. One, this is something that should have taken millions and millions of years for it to do. And it didn't. It happened a lot sooner. And two, its host is now a predator by trait, something it hasn't really been before. So they're studying it to see how it acts now, where instead of being a prey creature and making itself available to be eaten, how it will spread its new spores. It's spread a lot easier. Well, I'm saying it might react aggressively as opposed to getting itself killed. No, I'm saying it's going to kill a whole bunch of stuff to spread it. Not only that, but because of its jump to spiders, it can also affect scorpions. Oh, we love a scorpion. Yeah, I love a scorpion. So that's what we're dealing with. If you ever heard of the game, the last of us, it's about a post-apocalyptic world where the Cordiseps has made the leap to humans. Now, to be fair, scientifically, it's not likely for it to spread to humans. It seems to stay with the creatures with access to this. And tell me that all you want. I will. And I have. But our proximity to Cordiseps is what will be hard to outfall. That's all I'm saying. Okay. Because they use it in some medicines. You heard it here first, folks. Oh, that's a good zombie movie, Clay. Yeah. Team-t-m-t-m-t-m. Well, I mean, they kind of already did it with the last of us. Oh, okay, that's true. I knew about the Cordiseps before the last of us, so it was naturally the most terrifying thing I'd ever seen. Yes, that game came out, and I was like, oh, look, my nightmares. Yeah. Here it is. Nope. I get mad. Like, Clay gets scared during horror video games. I get pissed off. Like, when I get spooked, like, when something startles me, I get, like, I go into fight or flight mode and you girls swing in. Yeah, it's really funny to watch Caitlin play horror survival games. Because, typically, those games you can't fight back. That's the whole idea, as you're supposed to outsmart and hide from the killer or the predator. And Caitlin will just walk circles around it, screaming at it to get out of the way. Completely subverting any difficulty in the game. It's so ridiculous. Over the time, that mannequin came alive and I got pissed and punched it. And you're like, it's not going to do anything. It's like, look out of my way. I never finished that game, I rage quit. But there's another kind of animal-based zombie that we talked about in great detail in our first ever episode, Clay. That would be toxoplasmosis. Oh, yes. So that is just a little refresher. That is a little critter that lives in cat poop, cat poop cat pee. And it affects rats, mice, and it makes them not afraid of the cat. So this is the thing that pregnant people, you don't need to be a mess with the person. Right. It has an alternate undesired effect in humans. Right. But typically, a lot of people are infected and don't know it. And it's a joke that it's the crazy cat lady virus. Yeah. Because it makes you want to take care of and love the cats. And they can do no wrong. And I don't see anything wrong with that. And I certainly don't have toxic plasmosis. I'm sure. We talked about the young sheathes, they're the hopping vampires. Some people call them the hopping zombies, which band name, hop and zombies. Yes, please. So zombies in pop culture, we did talk about resident evil. We love resident evil. Some of my favorite memories are being a kid. And me and Kelsey would be playing resident evil four. And Leon, can we just talk about Leon? Leon. Leon. Leon. We loved Leon. There's a character named Ashley in the game. Is she likes to scream Leon's name in the most obnoxious, orable way? There was this part with a crocodile, like a crocodile zombie. And it was spook. Oh, it was actually a mutated axelowl. What? Yes. Oh, I don't remember that. I'll have to go back and play as an adult. Yeah, you're absolutely right. I can't do in that thing where like something would jump out. I'd like freak out. And then I'd die. And then I'd get mad. And I'd throw my controller and break it. And then mom would be like, well, you're not getting another one. And then I still caliber was the game that made me break control. Yeah. But I guess can we talk real fast about how bullshit it is that the resident evil Netflix series got canceled after once he's. It got canceled. No, I love that was a good show. It was really good. It was really good, you guys. Some fans didn't like it because it wasn't like a one-to-one perfect. Well, that doesn't match up with the Lord. Okay, well, just enjoy the show because it is cool. Exactly. You just got to kind of take it for what it is, you know, for some people. It could have gone. It's my favorite, but there was a zombie crocodile in there. They're okay. Maybe that's where I got the crocodile from. Yeah, I was like, this giant ass crocodile was so cool. And then there's other ones like Walking Dead. Walking Dead is so hot right now. I have actually continued to watch Walking Dead. I guess on the last season, whatever it comes out on Netflix, I'll see it. Yeah. But the Walking Dead's been going on for a long time. People love the Walking Dead. 28 days later is one of my favorite zombie movies, World War Z, which was also a book. And it was really good. Day of the Dead was upsetting. Dawn of the Dead. Someone gets chainsawed in that. Yeah. I was like chainsaws. Unless they creep out from behind the corner and scare me that I do not like them. Oh, like in Resident Evil 4. Like in Resident Evil 4. But for real though, everybody, can we just talk about how great Brave Pauzes? We got a free sample. We did. We're going to be completely transparent with you. We did. We got some free stuff. And it works. Yeah. I was a little surprised. Like I'm not going to lie. You get this stuff. And it doesn't really seem like a typical pet treat, right? Right. But we gave it to our pets. And they gumbled right up. They do. They do. And it's nice because it's like you give so many pills per pound. So you don't have to buy like three different sizes. You know, our little guy gets a half of one. Our big one gets three. Right. And he loves it. He takes them like a treat. Now being plant based, you're kind of like, ooh, are they going to like it? Right. That's what I was saying. It's like it's dry and sort of leafy. And it, like I said, it just doesn't. Normally when you get a pet treat, it's kind of like moist and squishy. But you know, they don't usually eat those I found. Well, that's because ours are extremely picky, which is why it was so surprising they ate these. Exactly. All. And we got more than one dog. It'll be for real with you all. But they eat it and they eat it well. Yeah. And it worked. It does. We live in the deep South, aka Satan's armpit. And it storms and rains at least once a week, like at least once a week we're under some kind of watch. Like a hurricane watch. That's a Tuesday. And our dogs are weenies. So when it starts like with the lightning and the rain and everything, they freak out. They do. They do. They do. We really put these to the test. Right. And they did not think that they would work like they did. Exactly. As well as they do. And this is a non prescription. You don't have to go to the vet and get it. It's not going to knock them out. It's not a sedative. It's just a calming support. And it does. We had lightning hit very close to our house within a mile. We ran out of our windows. It was scary. I was even scared. I love bad weather. And we gave everybody their happy pills. And they put the brave paws on and everybody laid down and went to sleep. And it was fun. Yeah. So like we don't have to do this part of the commercial. Right. Like we've done the ad read and we've goofed around. But like this is we wouldn't lie to you. We would at least not record this part if. Exactly. It didn't work and we didn't actually. Exactly. And we're both in the animal industry. And we have been for years and years. So we would not tell you about a product if we did not believe in it ourselves. Yeah. It absolutely worked for us. So. It'll work for you. Go check it out. My brave paws dot com. Go put your brave paws on. Brave paws. Give your pet the courage they need to weather the storm. One time I watched my dad play. See, my dad or his roommate. This is when I was like seven or eight. Watched him play Resident Evil 1. It was right in the beginning. There's a like a classic cutscene in the very beginning with that old like PS1 rendering CGI when you first meet a zombie and he like turns around and looks over a shoulder and his face is covered in blow. He's been non-unodid. And I didn't go to sleep for 72 hours. Oh, wow. Yeah. I actually didn't go to sleep for so long that I started to have hallucinations. Well, it didn't help me want to go to sleep. I guess not. Oh, goodness. But Clay, there's good news that you can kill a zombie. And do you know how? I mean, I guess it depends on the zombie. The typical way is to shoot it in the brain. Well, yeah, typically you destroy the brain. So since they're surviving on only the most basic functions, the brain must be destroyed. The brain stems responsible for your basic functioning. So it's also responsible for breathing and heartbeat, which no zombie has going for them right now. So I don't know why that was in my research. The walking dead explained that it's a virus that caused a zombieism. It's activates a tiny part of the brain. So once the host is deceased, that's the part that has to be destroyed. So either way, the brain got to go. In some lore, you can cut their head off. If they're Haitian, they just are people. Right. Yeah, so you kill them. You kill them all. No, you kill a normal human. But don't do that because that's not nice. I looked up how can you survive a zombie outbreak? Now this has been a hot topic since the days before the store hot topic. So the most people seem to agree. Let me put it this way. The cities. Hold on. Let me test my knowledge. Okay. Let's see if it fits with your survival guide on how to survive a zombie. Oh, sorry, survival guide. That was another book that was good. First thing you want to do is move away from heavily populated areas. Correct. You want to be close to a water source, preferably more upstream to the water source of the better. You want to be off the ground in some manner. If it's a house on stilts, a tree house, whatever that might be, somewhere where you can get up where zombies can't. You need to be able to acquire food easily if that means hunting via snares or silent traps, not using guns. It seems like typically zombies are attracted to sound. Mm-hmm. You're doing great, honey. Am I doing good? You're doing great. Yeah, those zombies cannot swim. So somewhere near water, so you can help on a boat. Yeah, I guess that's all so true. I was thinking you don't want to be drinking from a downed water from downstream in a river because the water source could be polluted at the source. Right. You need to drink a zombie water. Mm-hmm. Corpse liquor, yum. Not only that, but you talked about zombies can't swim. If they fell into the river and couldn't get out, they would flow downstream to you. Mm-hmm. I don't like that. So while the bite of a zombie is typically fatal, you know, you give it by a zombie, you turn into a zombie, there's no saving you. You got to shoot your friend in the head. But- I did not yourself who's been infected. You have to kill your friend immediately because he is going to kill you. Exactly. But there are cases- I never see that in a zombie movie. And I think that's the most human reaction possible. I was like, I've been bit and it's like, and they definitely saw me get bit and it's that moment where you like look each other on the eyes where your friend is about to say, like, I'm sorry, dude, and you just blow his brains out right there. Right, right. I can know you're right. I don't think that has ever happened. Nothing I've seen anyway. Yeah. That's just not something we've seen. But there are rare cases where if the body part that's bitten, like such as a limb, is severed, then it can stop the spread. But the odds of that working are really slim. So pretty much if you get bit, you're done for. Yeah, especially if you get bit on the torso. Yeah. You can't cut off your own torso. Oh, yeah, I guess that's true. Now I have always been a zombie sympathizer because like if you got turned into a zombie, I couldn't. I couldn't skull cap you, babe. I love you too much. I would keep you as a pet and feed my enemies to you, but not cats like in the new resident evil. We wouldn't do that. Spoilers. Spoilers. Netflix, bring that show back. So I had a fun related search because you know how those show up in my research called Silly. Do zombies poop? Interesting. The answer is no. Yeah, I like in the walking dead. They did it a lot with like their stomachs hanging out and stuff where they have just gorge themselves to the point that it's just ruptured. Yeah. And you know, all the meat and good, tasty blood just kind of goes in one hole and then just falls out through the new one. Exactly. Exactly. They don't have any parasitic muscle contread. It just sits there. Like if somehow they swallow it without a heartbeat or a Haitian zombie poops. A Haitian zombie most likely does poop, especially if it does in it won't be a zombie too long. That's true. It'll become a course. It'll become a real course. I'm a real corpse. What's my new, that's my new character clay. I'm going to make a zombie character. A zombie Pinocchio. Yeah. Pinocchio. I'm a real corpse. No, you're not like a kid who believes a way too hard in Halloween. Another related search was does destroying the brain kill Sauron? I guess. I don't know. We don't have Jordan here for this. He actually could have. Jordan could. He's a joke about having him as a guess character, but he could have answered this for us. I'm sure. He could have. Jordan, where are you? Wherever you are, answer this question. Well, on a scale of one to ten, how likely do you think you are to survive an encounter with zombies? Negative four. He don't think so. Absolutely not. If an animated person starts walking, a reanimated person starts walking at me. I'm going to get pissed. And then I'm going to attack them. And then they're going to bite me. And I'm going to turn into a zombie. So I've died either way. I mean, I got two for this because there's obviously at least two distinct types. If they're the slow dumb ones, I'd actually give myself pretty high. I don't know, like a seven because all it requires is for me to not mess up. Just walk away from the. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm going back up in the treehouse, guys. Right. But if they're like the fast 28 days later as zombies, it's like a two. Yeah. I'm fucked. I'd give myself a negative eight for those. I'm not a fan of cardio. No. Neither. After I do it, but boy, I hate myself during how creepy are zombies. If we're talking about Haitian zombies, I'd give that a solid nine and a half. That really scared me that that guy looking at the camera and saying, I don't even need to know where your buried was. Creepy. So that guy was creepy. That guy was creepy. Zombies in general, like just kind of your slow, bumbly moving zombies. I think they're more gross than anything. Like more so than creepy. I think they're just nasty. I think they're kind of sad. You feel bad for the zombies. I feel bad for the zombies. Like there's someone's mom. Not spooky, spooky, two spooky for me or three spooky five me. If I'm averaging those two things, I'd probably give them a two spooky for me. Okay. I'd give them a spoopee. A full spoopee. Yeah, they're spoopee. You give them a spoopee. Yeah. They don't trigger anything in me that's like primal fear, but they're spoopee. They far make me just kind of sad. How likely are zombies to exist? Well, we know the court of seps exists. It's true. I believe in the Haitian zombies. Yeah. Now, I fully believe that you can dumb a person senses down to that point. Yeah. I believe in like a scientific zombie like that. As for actually reanimating a sincerely dead person, I don't think so. But I do believe in the zombie of being hating. No. Okay. So, what's the number on that was 10? What about your traditional back from the dead? I give them a two. A two. 1.4. We know the court of seps and the Haitian zombies are. Them's a science. Them's a legit. As for like a zombie coming back from the dead, I could see science getting to a point where we try to live forever and I don't know, mutate cancer or something. I mutate it. Yeah. To where it just possesses our nervous system essentially. Right. And even if it's only for a little while, you know, you know, people would do it when you've got those emotions with so many love, absolutely. So how likely are zombies to be aliens? Okay. If there's zombies on earth, there's definitely space zombies. Space zombies. Zombies and spades. Look, we talked about space windagos and that's a big no. That's extremely scary. We don't know what's in space, man. I don't care for space either except for David Bowie, like David Bowie likes space. So like, like, sentient, I like space. Now, you did bring up techno zombies. Mmm. I forgot about techno zombies. There's almost certainly techno zombies. Why the hell not? I'll give them a seven. That's seven. I'll give them a seven. I'm jealous. I'm jealous. Good lord. Uh, yeah, I'd say a two. I don't think zombies are aliens. Wow. I love how you gaslighted me into it. I have no reason at all to figure out like why you would give that a seven. Just being nice, man. I'm just a nice person. So those are zombies. Those are zombies. So those are zombies, which was a good song by the crane berries. I was sad when she died. I tried to listen to music. I literally don't like that. Same, same. And I wanted to, zombies make me miss Kelsey because we used to always play zombie games and then we would do like these gross. So okay, me and Kelsey always do this thing. We're like, do you do this gross thing? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, yes. And then I ask, Clay, Clay, do you do this gross thing? And he's like, no. Now, why would you ask anyone that? I'm like, when we, Kelsey, we're weirdos, I guess. But we were talking about zombies and we're like, would you have sex with a zombie? Like hell no. Find someone who loves you the way that we love today's sponsor. We'll be right back with more Pet Candy. Hi, I want to tell you about my new show, Simply Pets with Shannon Gregor. We talk about pets, life, love, and everything in between with the coolest people on the planet. Don't miss out on the fun. Check it out on a podcast platform of your choice. Well, everybody, we love you and we hope you have a fantastic week. Stay well, take your vitamins. Don't get sick like me and Clay, it's not fun. Make sure you get your mammograms. If you're going to dress up your pets for Halloween, which we hope you will, please make sure their costumes do not restrict their breathing or their movement. So pop them on, take a cute picture. All of our cats look so angry and it's hilarious. And then share them with us on social media. You can follow us on Instagram at obsessed with the Palmer's. Clay, if they would like to send us an email requesting a topic or requesting us to stop podcasting, what can they send those to? Obsessed with the Palmer's at gmail.com. All right, we love you guys. Be good. It's pet candy. Pet candy. Pet candy. It's pet candy radio.