If you are married, right, or the, you know, the man makes the money and I don't know, like I do all the things, but still learning my worth and that I can ask for money and knowing that no man would have had a problem up to this point. The people who perpetuate that narrative are people who have a vested interest in seeing you broke. What was that wake up moment for you that made you look at your relationship with money differently? If something were to happen to me, what would happen to my daughter? Like, what plans would be in place? What cushion did she have to fall back on? And that terrified me. And oftentimes as moms, we won't do things for ourselves. We know we need to do it. It's this nagging thing in the back of our mind. But our kids will prompt us into action. This is Nasima McElroy, a published author, labor and delivery nurse, and the visionary behind Financially Intentional, a platform built to help people master money and live with purpose. She paid off over $1 million in debt in under three years and built a six-figure network. Now she shares clear, practical guidance to help others rewrite their money stories. She's also a devoted mom to three girls, showing that building wealth and living a full life can happen at the same time. It's not just about having wealth and having the cars and having the houses, right? It's being really intentional in using that money in a way that brings you fulfillment. lies that you see women believing that keep them from taking control of their money. Create the budget, you can create these plans, but nothing is really going to change until you really understand your money story and how it's been shaped and been able to overcome that. A lot of people ask me, like, how do you do what you do? Or, you know, that fire in the belly, but it was just truly survival, which has served me in a lot of ways, but it's also broken me in a lot of ways. Take that first step and remember, you don't have to be perfect to take control of your life. You just have to start. Hello everyone and welcome back to Wake Up With Marci, the space where real conversations lead to radical healing and where we wake up to the truth of who we are and what we deserve. Today's guest is a woman who has transformed her life in the most powerful, grounded, and honest way, and she's helping others to do the same. Nasima Malkaroy is a published author, a labor and delivery nurse, a mom of three, and the founder of Financially Intentional, a platform dedicated to financial freedom through intention, education, and empowerment. This isn't just a story about money. It's about choice, self-respect, and learning to show up for yourself when life demands it. So, Nisima, welcome to the show. Thank you so much. I'm honored to be here. Well, it's fabulous to have you, and I'm so excited to share your story and the changes you've made in your life so we can learn from what you've gone through, right? We go through these hardships and difficult times and we learn from them and how to strive and transform through them. So thank you for sharing your story and helping us to learn through your experience. Thank you. I've gone through a lot. So happy to share. Yeah. So listen, you were making six figures, which is incredible. but still living paycheck to paycheck. And I think that that is a, I wouldn't say a common story, but it's something that we do. We're living paycheck to paycheck. We don't learn how to budget our money or feel that we're deserving or how to even use our money in a wise way. Right. So what was that wake up moment for you that made you look at your relationship with money differently? I knew that I always had the ability to earn money, but I was at the point where I was a single mom, my oldest daughter, and we had just bought the new house. And so on the outside, everything that we had looked like we had it all together. But internally, I didn't have like savings in place. And I was just like, if something were to happen to me, what would happen to my daughter? Like what plans would be in place? What cushion does she have to fall back on? And that terrified me. And oftentimes as moms, we won't do things for ourselves. We know we need to do it. It's this nagging thing in the back of our minds. But our kids will prompt us into action. And so that was my moment. Like I make way too much money to be broke. And I knew that the answer wasn't earning more. It was really about getting intentional about where my money was going. Wow. Yeah. Well, first of all, just knowing that you can earn, because I think for a lot of us, right, we learn our relationship with money so early in life. So the fact that you had this ability to know innately that you can earn, right? Where did that strength come from? Where did that knowing come from? It's survival, basically. So it's a different kind of earning because it's not like earning knowing that there's an abundance and that there's a lot of wealth. It's just that my mom left when I was five and there was a lot of things that I had to do in my household. Like I basically became one of the heads of household at a very early age. And if I wanted anything, I would have to find the means to get them. And so I started working, doing hair, babysitting, like anything that can bring in money really early on. And so that it was more of like that hustle. You just have to do it to make it mentality. But again it earning money from a place of scarcity and earning money with a sense of abundance is two different things Because the way that that energy of money moves you never really going to feel like it enough in that sense So, yeah, I've had to learn because my upbringing, you know, it was like you go to the sales rack and you couldn't just get what you wanted. So you were always afraid to spend money. Right. so that's something that I've had to learn to unlearn and and there's a lot of us that we we are programmed in a certain way and and I love that you shared about the survival because I myself had to survive and there's a different fire within yourself well it can either break you or it can make you stronger. And a lot of people ask me, like, how do you do what you do? Or, you know, that fire in the belly, but it was just truly survival, which has served me in a lot of ways, but it's also broken me in a lot of ways. Right. So I had to learn to do it in a way that like it worked for me so long, but then, then it broke me down. And so I had to find a different way. Right. Right. So you've said that getting honest with your finances unlocked something within you. And first of all, what did that unlock inside of you when, what did that financial clarity teach you about self-trust and personal power? So first of all, I didn't understand the relationship with money. And once I shifted the relationship and give my money a job, become the CEO of my money and give it direction, nothing was changing. I didn't know where my money was going. I didn't know what I was spending it on. I couldn't tell you. It's not like it brought extra value in my life. But as soon as I became very intentional with every dollar that was coming in, I had this sense of control like never before, because now I knew that that money represented freedom. And any time I can direct the money into ways that were going to benefit me would free up more time, more energy in my life to do the things that I loved and I cared about. And then I understood that oftentimes we're sold this information that managing money or having money or building wealth and all of these things are either really, really hard or it's just not for us. You know, the people who are wealthy are either scammers or were born into wealth or, you know, did something shady to get it. And so you don't think that it's possible for you, but in understanding that it is and in embracing that and to be able to use your money for the things that you truly value in life changes the whole dynamic and how you move in all areas in your life. It's just the intentionality of understanding how to use like money is just a tool. It's a tool like everything else. The intentionality of how to use the tool to create the life that you deserve. Right. And being intentional and spending it on things that are meaningful. What I mean by that, right? It's not just about having wealth and having the cars and having the houses, right? It's being really intentional and using that money in a way that brings you fulfillment, not just the sparkly things, right? A lot of people just think about, but there's so much more to it. And if you have more depth to it, you have more happiness around it. So you shared one of the hardest parts of your journey was leaving an abusive marriage. You've shared that. Can you speak to the role financially that you had and then how you found independence and what it taught you about being free from money or the idea of leaning on someone else all the time? So when I started on this journey, I was a single parent. And during the time I was learning about everything. I was creating these systems of paying off my debt, of understanding just how money works is when I got married. And so when I got married, you know, we did it together and it was like I was hitting those goals exponentially. But of course, it wasn't a very healthy relationship. And through it all, though, one of the things that made it easy to leave that relationship is because I knew I would be okay financially. And I even had to pay him a divorce at home to get out of the relationship. And I still knew that I would be okay. And that would break a lot of people. So what it really taught me is I have three girls and I never want them to be in a position where they are staying in a situation, whether it be a toxic relationship, a toxic workforce, a toxic workplace, any kind of situation that is untenable because of some kind of financial resource. Like they would always, our financial dependents, like they would always have their means to have their own and to have the ability to walk away from the situation that doesn't serve them because they're not financially dependent on it. And if I was financially dependent in that situation, I would have had to endure a lot. And I understand how a lot of times women just can't walk away from abusive situations. People are like, well, why don't you just leave? It's so complex. It's so complex. People don't even understand that. Even without finances, it's a whole lot of things tied into violent situations, domestic violence situations that a lot of people just don understand You don just wake up and then somebody is violent Like it a whole psychological breakdown that has to happen for you to even be in that situation And to climb out of that kind of like pit of despair is so challenging because it not the good, it's the bad. Nobody gets married to get a divorce. There's all this guilt and there's shame. There's so much. But if you tie finances on top of that, like you are dependent on this person. who is controlling you or manipulative or whatever the financial situation is, it is like almost impossible to get out of that situation. And so I just never want my kids to be in that situation. And so I set them up. So that is not, would never happen. You know, at least on the right side. Yeah. Well, you, it's amazing that you are teaching these girls to be so strong and not dependent. And I get that, you know, I, I've been through a lot myself and try to break those generational cycles or change things, you know, for our kids. So they live a better life. And it is so heartbreaking that people are just naive when it comes to being in abusive relationships or not understanding abuse or addiction. It's just really not understanding it. You can't just walk away. You are literally broken down and you have no strength within you and you've got to muster up a lot of strength and to even move in. There's so much fear. You have no self-esteem. There's a whole, like you were talking about this psychological breakdown. And it's just even like when you're sexually abused and you, you Why wouldn't you just run away? You don't know what to do. You're in so much fear, right? It's just that fear is debilitating. And the guilt and the shame. And the guilt and the shame. And again, that's with anything, even like addiction. I'm over 10 years sober, and there's so much shame wrapped around it, and especially as a mother. And so you're so afraid to get the help. You don't know what the help is. It's just, it's a whole terrifying experience. And so I just say, if there is someone out there and you're not understanding this, just take a little time maybe before we make an opinion about something that we really don't know about, right? There's no lack of people passing judgment in these days. Exactly. And really, I think that sometimes we just got to look in the mirror a little bit if we're passing judgment on something. So let's talk about the women out there that are feeling stuck emotionally and financially. What are some of the most common stories or lies that you see women believing that keep them from taking control of their money? I think people don't understand how important your money story and how you were growing up shapes how you interact with money as an adult. Oftentimes, there's a lot of shame. There's a lot of talk about deprivation. And so a lot of people truly have financial trauma that unless they address that core, nothing really changes, right? You can put all the systems in place. You can do all the things. You can create the budget. You can create these plans, but nothing is really going to change until you really understand your money story and how it's been shaped and been able to overcome that. But also, like I was talking about earlier, There is a lot of this belief that wealth isn't for us. Or if you're aspiring to wealth, you're greedy. Something is wrong with you. You should want to do it for free. You should want to serve, especially as a woman, as a nurse, right? We come from this place of always having to serve and, you know, give and who am I? We're told it's selfish, right? We're not taught how to do it for sure. Oh, yes. Yes. Intentionally. Like there's a lot of financial information that's intentionally gate kept from us, you know? So I think, number one, we have to know that we can heal from our money trauma. We need to understand that we are worthy of building wealth. As a matter of fact, it's our responsibility because if you're not building wealth, how are you really going to serve? Like you can't, you can serve from a place of abundance. And then it's really not that hard. Once you are able to overcome those things and put systems in place, money is going to work for you in the background without you having to think about it. And you can put it in auto drive and then focus on living your life. But just letting people know that there's hope no matter where you're starting from, no matter what money mistakes that you've made, you can do it. You just have to start. Just have to start. You have to take that action. right? And I get that. Like even knowing my own worth, it's so hard to ask for money, knowing when the right time, how much, I don't know. I just want to give, you know, just, it's a hard place to be. Right. And, and also just that programming that if you are married, right. Or the, you know, the man makes the money and, you know, I don't know, like I do all the things, but still learning my worth and that I can ask for money and knowing that no man would have had a problem up to this point. Right. They were taught differently. They were taught very differently. So we'll be right back. And when we return, we will hear more from Nesima on motherhood money and becoming who you were always meant to be. Are you in the first 30 days of sobriety are wondering if now is your time to start. Hi, I'm Marci Hopkins, and I wrote Wake Up, You're Not Broken just for you. It's a real raw guide to those first 30 days, what no one tells you, what you will feel and how to keep going This isn about perfection It about progress Order your copy now on Amazon Remember you not alone You not broken You waking up Now let's get back to this powerful conversation. Nasima, you teach other women how to build financial confidence, but not through shame. You're talking about that shame and that guilt, right? What makes your approach different from traditional financial advice? Traditional financial advice? First of all, I feel like it's overcomplicated. It's traditionally been very male, very stale, and very pale. There's not a lot of people that look like me. It can break down concepts in a way that you understand and are just like, oh, that's what that means. And so I make finance approachable and I try to normalize those conversations. Talking about money isn't taboo. And I feel like the people who perpetuate that narrative are people who have a vested interest in seeing you broke. And so I really feel like we should all be talking about money. I've heard myths like, oh, rich people don't talk about money. All rich people do is talk about money and strategize on how they can get more and how they can keep money in their family and what rooms do their kids need to be in. They play the long game when it comes to making sure their family is positioned correctly. And so, you know, it's just a whole bunch of these myths around money that I try to dispel so that we are comfortable in knowing that, again, wealth is our birthright. You know, we are meant to be abundant. But when we are in abundance, we can give from a place of abundance for people who aren't as fortunate as us. Love that one. So let's talk about a step somebody could take. a manageable first step, someone watching today, like you said, just start, right? What can they do to start their financial healing journey? I say surround yourself with people who you aspire to. We have access to people in ways which we didn't have before. So it's like change your circle, change what you normalize, strive to be the dumbest person in the room. I love to use my social media as inspiration. I follow people who normalize being a millionaire in their 30s and 40s, normalize retiring early, normalize having positive wealth conversation, normalize having conversations with their kids about money, normalize pay transparency and fair negotiation. Those are the people who I receive messages from, you know, like in when, and you can do this doing chores on your commute to work. You know, I listened to personal finance audio books and personal finance podcasts. And so it's all about repetition, hearing those messages over and over about how to invest. Like I remember being so confused about what's the difference between a Roth IRA and a traditional IRA. And people were saying? Like, it's just like this, just like this. And it's not until I heard it 10 times that I understood. Oh, okay. That's what that means. Okay. With it. Right. And so it's changing your circle of influences, changing the things that you listen to and the messages, the messaging that you receive, no shortage of messaging about being a consumer. It's in everything that we do and it's surrounding us from birth, right? Yes. So changing those messages that you receive, changing your circle of influence does so much when it comes to changing your mindset, because I can tell you how to budget. I can tell you how to invest, but until you have that core mindset shift, those messages aren't going to stick. Oh guys. And that's with everything. We've got to reprogram our programming. So true. It's what we hear. It's like financial affirmations that you got to listen to every day. Exactly. Exactly. So you offer free trainings, education, and you have a beautiful platform through financially intentional. Can you tell the audience where they can find your work and what to expect when they join your community? Yes. So I have so many resources. I've been doing this. I created Financially Intentional out of despair through going through my tumultuous marriage in 2016, but it has grown to something incredible. So I mostly live on Instagram. Most of my stuff is on Instagram. Tons of free resources there. I have the Financially Intentional podcast with over 200 episodes of so much free game, But I also have a lot of resources. Like I do a monthly free training and then I have some free guides and then some really low cost. Like here's a straightforward guide on investing for yourself, investing for your kids. But mostly everything and where I hang out is on Instagram. And you could always find me at financiallyintentional.com. Awesome, Naseema. Thank you so much. Thank you for all that you've shared with us and how you are helping women to know their worth and change their financial relationship. And to everyone watching or listening, if you're stuck, if you're ashamed, if you've told yourself the lies that you should be further by now, remember this. You're not behind, you're not broken, and it is time to know your worth. wake up to your worth. So thank you so much for being here today. Please like, share, subscribe, share this with someone who needs to hear this message today. And until next time, trust yourself, take that first step. And remember, you don't have to be perfect to take control of your life. You just have to start. All right, guys, I'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.
