#540 - We Were Nominated

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going? Good. Right. You? Better. What? Better? Did you answer for me? He said great. Yeah, I guess I also said better than in a sense. Then good. Yeah. All right, dude, start again. Start again. Take and go. How's it going, Frank? All right. Ant? Good. I don't even know. What are we doing? What's happening? All right, Let me start it. We're done with the opening. Come on. What's that hat, by the way? This is a minor league team. They're the hops. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Isn't that cool? It is kind of cool. I like that. Oh, they're so pumped right now. They're getting free plugs. Yeah. How's your butcher going to feel about this? Because you love promoting that. You know what? Listen, I am. Wasn't the butcher shirt like it was like a Bullwards balls out? Am I remembering that? Yes, it was. Yeah, there were. Big, fat, ant-sized balls. No, not that big. Yeah, yeah, nothing is. Nothing. I mean, now, I wear that pretty much exclusively to the gym. Is that better or worse? You're putting balls on your back in public? So worse. Is it on the front or the back? It's on the back. So the front is the front of the bowl, and he's just like. Oh, the back is his asshole. And the back is his balls. Yeah. His ass and balls. Yeah, I'd say that's pretty bad. Really? It feels like an indoor. It feels like an at-home shirt. I feel like that's worse because I have young kids. So where am I going to wear this shirt if not at the. If I have a shirt that has balls on it, I'm wearing it somewhere. We have a different opinion. We have a different opinion. Have you ever had like a crew? I'll do one better. Probably wouldn't wear it at home either. Yeah, that's what I just said. So I pretty much don't wear it ever. Just on the show. Well, where else? I mean, if I'm going to express balls. No, I said express, then I felt like, what am I trying to express here? If I'm going to get a shirt that has balls on it, where else am I going to wear it? But this comedy podcast. where the people lost. They also don't see Frankie from the back too often on here. That is fair. Why'd you say it so sexually? Yeah, that was... You don't see Frankie from the back. Oh, this is a guy who's... You're still in a heated rivalry the way he said that. He's just like... Who do you think's got a better ass, me or Frank? Come on now. Come on. Don't swing. It's probably Frankie. Okay. Look, I'll let you be your person. Make your decision. It's probably Frankie. All right. Why are you saying probably? Be a man. it's frankie thank you fuck but why though yeah tell us why uh tell me something negative about my ass there's nothing negative about your ass his ass just a little more voluptuous okay voluptuous he's making up words yeah voluptuous isn't a word buddy um but what how would you describe my ass and like give me like two adjectives it's there yeah yeah get him get him What the fuck? You heard that shit, right? That was crazy. He just body shamed his boss. It's there. You know, where else would it be? It can't be over there. It's gotta be here. What happened to the respect that kids used to have for their employers? What happened? Back in your day, which I think you and I agree, I was the greatest generation. Which? The second greatest. The greatest was World War II. Like, what are we talking about? Which part of World War II? The generation of good people. they call themselves the greatest generation yeah they were self-programmed yeah into saying they were the greatest generation yeah what cocky bitches yeah it's kind of crazy just being like well that was the greatest generation and it's just after the um depression yes it was i mean it's easy when you do contrast like i mean you can just look at pure numbers and see that like i guess u.s got involved in 41 if we start getting into this stuff i think i think that That was when Pearl Harbor was bombed, so 41, and then 45, it was over. So, yeah, and then after that, boomers. That's the baby boomers. That's what our parents' generation is, because they came home from war, and guess what they did? They fucked. Got after it like rabbits. Like absolute jackrabbits. Like Rosenhoff and Hollander. Bang. Bringing it back. I'm trying to capitalize on this audience as much as I can. Clearly. You keep bringing it up. It's interesting. and then you're asking an aunt to rate your ass this is a weekly still you see where do you think i measure we're gonna have to record that it's a weekly everyone take it easy all right we're not talking about it yeah um by the way uh i don't know if we i don't know why i'm bringing this up now but yesterday i got the shit scared out of me because i was like in my living room and i live on a high floor not a flex but just reality for me definitely a flex but also a flex giant like movie style drone outside my window scare the fuck out of me i mean that's illegal brother it wasn't like right outside my window like it was kind of like but it was mad big i thought it was an animal or i thought alien little ship i felt like you like you know in jersey remember when you guys had all the drones or whatever oh i didn't see any personally oh really no i didn't see any which it's still that was a year ago and it feels like it was fucking decades ago but like personally i didn't see any and you best believe that because i didn't see any i said everyone was lying got it you know and not with these eyes didn't fucking did you not get in your car and drive around and so we did becca and i did and she was just like you know like she she she subscribes a little more to like conspiracies and stuff like that it's like a cloud what is that yeah well there was no there was one night where her and i drove around and she was just like there it is oh my god you know like it was like she was excited and they're like oh no like they're seeing yeah but yeah the drone scared the fuck out of me dude that that is like legitimately creepy because windows brother yeah i mean it wasn't like you don't have a terrace right no that'd be so cool up there it would be but so dangerous up there bro it gets windy up there i can hear the wind against my windows i'm like who the fuck is out on their terrace right now bro you're once you buy like a home on like flatland 300 acres you're gonna be like yo this is so much sicker than living fucking 95 stories in the air i do like it i mean i'm not on the 95th floor that's a little crazy 93rd whatever no not gonna say the number but um uh no but it like scared me like it was probably like a good 200 yards away so it wasn't like at my window was it like interacting with you like were you like no it was like there i think i took a video of it so you can see how far away it was but um you saw it before you heard it like you saw it i didn't hear it you didn't hear it Yeah. So look, you see the size of this thing? Like, it was like a big one. Yo, how far away is that? I zoomed. It was like there. So it was like kind of in front of the next building over. But I was like, what's going on? Yo, that's scary because like... It was there for a while. What if you were naked? I don't care. I mean, if they were like spying on me... I mean, who's to say they weren't? Those drones have pretty good camera and zooming capabilities. capabilities you know maybe they were just like it's tmz they're after you they why are you talking about zoom well you're trying to disrespect me i mean i'm just saying like sometimes you need a little help in order to see something from a distance like a like a like a binocular you know like a telescope the hubble now we're getting even further i mean i'm not saying the hubble telescope you shut up over there i spoke to him first my ass now my dick you're you're fucking You're beating both those to shreds today, Ant. Sorry. Yeah. I think, like, you know, it would need, just to make the distinction, if they can't zoom in on you, then you're just white guy number 48 that they're spying on. But then once they zoom in, you know, as close as they could get, and they go, that's Joe. Hey, buddy. To your face, dude. I've been double body shamed and we are nine minutes into an episode. Maybe eight minutes. Let me just be very clear about something. Shamed my body. I am not shaming you in any capacity. I did this like looking at your face. If you feel that me making that... What a weasel. You're weaseling out? You're shaming your body? You're really going to weasel out? Then maybe you have something to be ashamed of. Maybe you're projecting the shame that you have for your body upon me. He straight up shamed you. He's throwing you under the bus and he's weaseling. I don't want to be this guy, but you did just point at him. Thank you. Whatever. Run it up. How much dollars are we at? You got 40 bucks. That's not bad. That's $40 I didn't have before. That's how that works. That's exactly it. Wait, so you didn't call? Because, brother, I would have been on the phone with the cops. Who am I calling? Karen? What do you mean, Karen? You would call the cops? This kid's Karen. Karen? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you are. Karen? Yes! Yes! Report on your viewer! How the fuck are we getting to a place? Oh, my food was soggy. You ordered food at fucking 30 miles away. How are we getting to a place in society where reporting a crime? Put that fucking phone down. Excuse me, cops? Put that fucking phone down. There's a couple of kids outside. They're making a racket. That's you. No, that's a difference between, excuse me, police. Guess what? There's a drone at my window and I'm fucking 100 million feet in the air. There's a difference. Reporting that doesn't make me a Karen. You know what you're doing? You see what you're doing? Now you're ethically shaming me. He's body shaming you, so you're ethically shaming me because I have standards? You're creating terms. Put the phone down. Police, someone is violating the airspace. This is not allowed. And I heard a firework back there. Maybe we should put some kids in jail. Bro, do you remember what happened in 2001? What are you referring to? We grew up in a time where it has been pushed upon us. See something, say something. that communal camaraderie in New York City has potentially prevented numerous attacks from happening we don't know we don't see the numbers but I respect that seeing something saying something did something they were probably filming a movie or something so then you should get your paycheck I'm not in that I mean if they were filming me maybe they were that's what I'm saying how do you know they weren't I guess I'll send them a cease and desist if I see the movie and I'm like hey that's my ding dong although I wasn't walking around So what, you're going to split the profits if it's a movie from a Disney because you're in the back just fucking dick in the wind in your apartment? Is that how that works? You'll just send it? Yeah. You get to split the profits? Now you and Disney make 50% of this movie. 50 is crazy, but I think that if you're going to use my Yang, then I should get something for sure. How much is your Yang worth? it really depends how close I got you know what I mean see now you're doing it no I'm saying like if it's that visible and I'm in a movie like if they can make out the scar tissue on there the scar tissue what do you think has happened to my I don't know what happens I mean you're clearly so ashamed of it I don't know if you take like a bamboo stick and just fucking whack at it or something a bamboo stick how did you grow up masturbating bamboo stick am i a panda i'm saying that you are clearly projecting the shame that you have for your indiscriminately sized wiener i also was not walking around naked in my living room i don't do that do you guys walk around well you don't walk around naked you hate being naked i do hate being naked but i got a house so i i i use like i explore the space naked sometimes not a lot your bedroom yes yeah do you walk around naked i'm pretty much always in my underwear i can't be naked because I got other people in the house that just barge in. You're always in your underwear? Pretty much. That's all of us. Oh, just underwear. Yeah. Do you walk around barefoot or you leave your socks on? I leave my socks on for everything. For everything is so crazy. We know what you're talking about now. You referenced it. Wait, you sleep in your socks? Yeah. I sleep in my socks too. Don't worry about it. What? We're together. You guys sleep in your socks? Yes. Double sock sleeps? Yeah. Yo, what are we doing? You guys don't get overheated? No, actually, if anything, I feel it regulates my temperature better because if they're off, I'm more likely to get cold than if they're on being more likely to get hot. Forget regulating. You guys should be medicated in a psych ward. I actually have heard that it is like conducive to sleeping better wearing socks because, like I said, it regulates your temperature when you sleep. I also live with – oh, my God. I love Becca so much. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She likes the room cold. Oh, so your feet get – I mean, it could be, I get a little, I mean, I'm a heat rock, but like, yes, it could get a little chill. You'd rather it be hot? I would rather be hot than cold. No. But you could always be more hot. Like, you can't, like, you could put on blankets, you can't, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, but then I can just put on clothes. But if you're too hot. But if you're too hot, you can't take off more skin, you can't take off skin, you can't take off more. Yeah. I mean, if I'm too hot, then I just take off the clothing I'm wearing. Yeah, but what if- But what if it's continuously getting hot? Now what? well then then there's a fire in the house because we have we have a working air conditioning i love sleeping in a cold room if it was snowing i'd prefer that i mean that's crazy we know someone that is like that like legitimately like espos place i remember his bedrooms yo not even kidding don't even 50 degrees espos parents the fact that their energy bill is not through the fucking roof forget about the energy bill how are they alive how are they surviving in that house well there's got to be some science on 13 there's got to be some science behind a lot has come out about people doing cold plunges and stuff like that yeah i mean being in their house is a cold plunge the closest thing to a cold plunge that i've ever their cottage or whatever yes yes and i would come in from jumping in the lake and then i get inside and be like i have literally instant hypothermia in this house. It gets cold. It gets cold. Maybe colder conditions are better on the skin. I don't know. Yeah, I think it keeps your skin tight. It keeps it tight and hydrated because, well, maybe it dries it out. I'm not sure, but I'm saying that there's possibly some science. Someone can tell us. Do you have a face routine? Like, what's that called? What the hell was that? Not a face routine. Skincare? Skincare routine. You have a face. I don't have a routine. I have been provided some products by some lovely companies that every now and then I'll be like, you know. Oh, but you don't do it every single night? No, no, no. Do you? Sometimes. So same answer as me. Yeah. What do you got? From the PO box a few times, I've gotten like a bunch of skincare stuff, like face masks and like the under eye pasties thing. Oh, you get like the, you know. You put them on. I'll be honest. I actually pretty much like never use the face stuff now that I think about it. It's more the hand stuff. I'm more worried about my hands being dry. You are big on your hands. I am. you lick them like a cat we've gone over that we don't have to i know but i just i i i don't like use much of the face stuff really i use a i use a a moisturizer there's some stuff that i have that i used to use a lot but i stopped using it because i don't know if you guys noticed back there i mean i did talk about on the show but my eye was fucked up for like a month because i got some cream in it and then i got it like a little thing and it took forever to clear up and i needed steroids um but uh also my dog had something wrong with his eye also he needed steroids twins why are you smiling it's him not me what i do why are you laughing because i said steroids yeah that's why i'm laughing i'm not laughing at all i'm just i'm listening i i you looked at him like wait till i say something i'm a little sneaky little no no i'm just you you expressed that you had something get in your eye and it fucked it up and you needed medication oh i see i see i see what's going on now and you're laughing strike three for you buddy i'm telling your dad literally in person the next time you see him which will be in a year i think but i'm i'm going to tell him no less a couple months maybe we don't know no yeah i don't even know what he meant by that that's That's another point, unfortunately. That's another point. The ice that you're on is literally... I think this episode is just dedicated to rage-baiting Joey. We're just getting him at every... I can't even talk about using eye cream without you being like, Oh, yeah, you creep! No, I didn't. I looked over at... Is it eye cream or a guy's cream? I know that's what you're saying. I did not say that. You're insinuating. You're projecting your insecurities about your sexuality upon me. Stop using therapy speak. I am not... I am affronted. Gather yourself. I have been sitting here trying to establish decorum and speak with aplomb on this episode, and you're sitting here doing all this. That's another one. I'm going to come over there and snap the computer in half. I looked over at Ant, and I saw him go like this. That's what he did. That's what he did. No, that's something you do. No, it is not. That's another one. Josh, show the clip. That's a lot of pointing. Let me find out that you did that. That's another one. I'm a prisoner in my own studio this place sucks I hate this place I looked over at him and my laughing was more of a sense of that's inappropriate, be respectful than it was like, yeah he maybe did get a load in his eye shut up and you shut up and I'm pointing at both of you, mark it down I don't care what else do we have to talk about I don't know if this will upset you or not, but one of the San Agado Studios videos, we lost some monetization. Well, actually, we're giving it to somebody else right now. Oh, what does that even begin to mean? Also, why are we talking about this on the podcast? Oh, I was going to explain that the reason is because you guys sung Backstreet Boys so well that it was flagged. Wait, when did we sing Backstreet Boys? in the misheard uh music video when you were singing in simish oh when we were like what does that mean simish yeah it's the language from the sims oh bro i thought that was like a you ever played the sims like you were singing in simish i thought that was like a word i used to play the sims i've loved i've never played the sims but you can like build a house and people die and then like yeah you like don't put a door in a room and then they sit there they cry they die i've seen people like put their dogs in a fire i'm like what is this yeah i mean that's the that's the bad parts of life that you don't want to interact don't love that wait what so wait we're giving money to the backstreet boys so the backstreet boys flagged you for singing their song in simish shut the fuck up i swear to god we sang it in a made-up language and then we got flagged and we have to give them the money yeah first of all what's going on one speaks to how good we are doing things singing that song not just like a music in the background i did not it was all you they flagged it i i mean this might be the pipeline that we get to the backstreet boys I'll tell you what, if we do get to the Backstreet Boys, I'm showing up with a big document and an invoice being like, give me it back. They're at residency at Vegas at the Sphere. Give me the money back. They can afford to give us. But we would have to go in and inflate the numbers on the video and just be like, yo, this video was supposed to have made like $20 million. $150 million. Yeah. So just give us a third. That's what you asked for. Give us 100K. Let them believe that they're getting a deal. Yeah, yeah. That's how you do it. You still reading The Art of the Deal right I don even know what that is You were just telling me it your favorite book i don know what that is well i reading a book about mushrooms actually i switched i put the mushroom book down and now i reading a book about you guessed it childhood trauma so in the episode where you so in the episode where you project your discomfort with your tiny penis you tell us that you're reading a book on childhood the trauma and then you had previously been reading a book about a mushroom let's unpack that thinner ice than him actually that's not true at all what am i saying don't even say yes wait hold on so the backstreet boys are getting some of our money yes so in addition to not only supporting them by literally being drug mules for their fucking music now they want to take us they want to bend joey over hey what are you wait are we are you what are you saying we sing their music all the time no no no what is the drug mules thing i don't know we're like we're mules for them basically oh oh you know so now what they're doing is they're bending joey over and taking his car cold hard earned cash from him first of all we'll take free tickets to a show that I'm on board for. If we get to come to the sphere and sit in any seat we want. But not even just that. Like, if you're gonna, if we basically pay. We wanna sing the song. Basically. Now we're talking. Thank you. Get us up. And they're just like, JC. Nope. Nope. Wrong band. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I got it. I got it. Okay, you got it. Kevin. Yeah. AJ. Yeah. Brian. Yeah. Howie. What? Nick. Yeah. Like, you saw what we can do. Right. And we did it so well that we're paying you. We're basically, literally, you've put people on stage for free. I assume. Yeah, you pull a fan up and be like, hey, sing the song, Rusty. Yeah, exactly. And he sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're like, all right, sit down. Yeah, all right, okay. But we have literally paid into this opportunity. Let us get our money's worth. Yeah. You know, just go up there. And you guys could do your whole thing. I've seen there's videos of you guys going through The Matrix and shit like that. The stage pops out. That's all. You're a boy band. I'm going to need to be Harnessed to the floor If we're going to do that Also watch this We'll work on it We'll work on it for sure Yeah We'll work on it That's a different band No it isn't That's also No that's Marionette That's NSYNC Yeah that was That was NSYNC No but like Go look at the Everybody Backstreet's back Go look at the music video I guess everyone was doing that Pull up the fucking music video Don't show it on here Because they've already Taken enough of our money We can't have them I'm afraid of saying The B word now But if you see I believe it's AJ He goes in the video And he's just like Oh my god We're back again Like it's Oh cause he's the mummy Cause he's the mummy dude It was a great Halloween music video Or no I think he was The Phantom of the Opera Oh that might be true That might be it Regardless If you're gonna take the money We wanna sing the song on stage not the whole song just want to get a couple notes in also like i think we are both coordinated i think that we both have i'm starting to get nervous though combined fair amounts of cardiovascular health frank we could yeah learn choreography and i'm not talking for like a whole song i'm not even talking for half a song give us this give us this that's all we need that last clap. Holy shit, that ringed my ears. I heard it bounce against the back wall. We don't need much. We're simple. We're Backstreet Boys fans. Yeah. You know? We're boys. We're not Backstreet Boys. If anything, we're more from the Backstreet than you. We're basement. Backstreet Boys. The basement boys. I'm sure that everyone in your crowd would be confused, and that's okay, because our fans would like it. No press is bad press. No Who are these idiots? No press is bad press, especially in today's world. Let's be honest, okay? So what they could do is they could just be like, the Backstreet Boys bought up who? And then TMZ gets it along with your pictures from the drone, and they run away with it. I will say it is obvious that we would be getting more out of this than you guys, but I think you need to be okay with that. Also, they already stole our money. They've taken our money, yeah, if anything. also Backstreet Boys you should be in a part of your life where you're being generous with your time like you should be spotlighting young creators oh you know what I just thought about this maybe it's not them and it's the label the evil label but here's the thing that is what's happening and they're going to see this But that's not fun to think about. Oh my God. Like, I didn't even know that was happening. I don't think he talks like that anymore. I think he does. He may. I think he does. Can we cross-reference my Nick Carter impression? Who's your favorite Backstreet Boy? I mean, I was pretty cool with AJ. Dude is sick. Had a couple earrings, which I thought was cool. I was a Brian guy. Brian, you kind of looked like Brian, I remember. I think that's why I liked him. I was like, oh, what guy? I didn't dislike any of them Howie, but like, I just... I just... What? But I just think that – I'm kidding. I love everyone. All of the boys from the back street have my approval. I mean, they're legends. Legitimately. Legitimately legends. Like, not a joke. They are legitimately legends. I will say, we're like joking around here, but if this did spiral out of control, I'd be mad nervous. Brother. Also, I'm not doing this. Just so – if you guys are watching this and you're even considering this, just know. watching together you know how the boys like they do like they're the backstreet boys they're also sitting on bleachers in like a studio for some reason you know what i mean yeah it's like oh my god this is so fun and then nick's got his foot up against a like a basketball yes um if and then kevin's in the back and you think he's just sitting down but he's really standing yeah if you guys are watching this and you do want to bring us on stage and be like oh it'd be really funny moment you guys you know could sing the song i'm not doing it with a handheld mic i need this you need this that and glasses i need sunglasses that don't that are one glass one glass you need the this mic yeah you know we need puffer vests and baggy pants baggy pants baggy pants i'm talking i'm even going like what kind of shoe wear are we wearing we need some like Mid 90's lugs That's what I'm talking about Because Timberlands People have stolen Timberland culture from New York Don't get me started on that Lugs Give respect to Something with a fucking buckle Something that If I used during kickball It would be a cheat code Yeah You know what I'm saying They wouldn't allow it in a league In a professional league It wouldn't even just be big sneakers Yeah And like Very Very Minimal Yeah You can just give us a high five you know what the way you gave yourself a high five yeah um i'll also just go to a show too though but i but i'd like to be in it i'd like to sing a note i would like or you know what bare minimum acknowledge us bro first of all obviously this is hilarious but we're gonna shoot a shot on a podcast now that's what we do our lives have gotten kind of out of control and this feels a little bit possible so i'm gonna say it listen you know frank hold on just for one Can you imagine that that happened? If they were like, come on stage with us? And we sang a song with the Backstreet Boys. First of all, that's not happening. Second of all, if it did happen, though, that's better than MSG. I'm glad you said it. Way better than MSG. I'm glad you said it. That's way better. I mean. I was on stage with the fucking Backstreet Boys. I mean, we were on stage. What the fuck are you going to tell me? Hold on. We'll reel it back. We'll reel it back. You were on stage with Frank Alvarez at Madison Square Garden. That's pretty fucking great, too. Yeah. I almost said it. I almost let the B word go. Oh, you were going to call me a B. Oh, boy, was I. Yeah. That would be up there. That'd be crazy. That'd be up there. And like, again. My sister would kill me. Oh, my God. My sister would bring her fucking dolphin starter jacket out of retirement that she bought just because she wanted to impress Nick Carter at TRL. And she would punch me in the mouth. That's a real story. My sister became a Dolphins fan because she heard that fucking Nick Carter was a Dolphins fan. And so my parents bought her a Miami Dolphins starter jacket in the 90s. It's probably fire. Yeah. You ever seen a starter jacket and said, ew, that's ugly? Yeah, they're all sick. They're the best. Yeah. Every single design. Let's shoot another shot. Hey, starter. You know me. I'm fucking there, baby. I'm ready to go. What can we squeeze out of this show? I mean, listen. Also, we've made our pitch to the Backstreet Boys. Yeah. if they don't do it in sync this is the perfect time to swoop in and get some good press on the same episode i mean no no listen listen listen listen we can reignite the boy band war we can bring back the triple b baby 2026 the re-emerging of triple b boy band beef all right everyone talked about drake versus kendrick drake versus kendrick drake versus kendrick let's bring back and spark the fire and flames of NSYNC versus Backstreet Boys, and they are fighting over us. Take it easy, boys. We've officially gotten ahead of ourselves. We have. Yeah. I just think that there is, because like what if NSYNC, our fans are so supportive. Thank you guys so much. Yeah. And what if they rally behind us and they start tagging the Backstreet Boys, which... Maya. Maya. What if like everyone cut a clip? What if everyone cut a clip of us? What if someone used their hard skills and valued time to find all the clips of us singing about the Backstreet Boys, and they make a fucking clip that goes mega viral? What if people worked really hard to help us two who are already spoiled get more out of this? What if that happened? I mean, if their life is not to help us, then where are you going? Why be a fan? Be a better fan. Do what we want you to do, not what you want to do. I feel like one of those preachers now, lock the door. I need to collect $100,000. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those fucking megachurch pastors that are just like, I need a new G6 in order to spread the word of God. Speaking of, we do have some sponsors for today. The first one being, how you doing? I'll keep going after. How you doing? Squarespace. Okay, is it Squarespace? Yes, it is. It is Squarespace. Squarespace is a platform where it's going to help you create and run your website. So if you make content or you have an online business or you sell things, you're going to want to use Squarespace if you're not already using it because that is the only one that I will use. All the landing pages that we've created have been through Squarespace, and they're amazing. They make it very easy to make a professional-looking website, which is very important. It's your first impression. It's huge. so you can go to squarespace.com they have templates you click on the templates it'll populate a website you switch out the text you switch out the pictures you have a professional looking website you literally could do that in an afternoon i've done it before so uh you know that's a great feature of it as well and they have a lot of features that are going to help you optimize your traffic uh you know give you all the updates and send you emails about this how many people you know we're visiting and you know blah blah blah give you suggestions what you should do. So Squarespace is the one. You can head to squarespace.com slash basement and you'll save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement. Okay. That is squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. And we also have prize picks. Okay. The big game is almost here. There's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than prize picks. It makes, you know, Sundays, especially for me, I kind of use prize picks for the football season, but you can build these lineups and you're competing against the prize picks projection. So you're saying, will Sam Donald have more or less than 200 yards in this game? Or will Kenneth Walker get in the end zone more or less than .5 times stuff like that so you you can uh build those and you can win a bunch of money um doing that and it's a lot of fun and they also have early payouts so if your player gets off to a hot start you have the option to cash out winnings before the game even finishes so make it easy for you there and uh you can download the price picks app today and use the code basement you'll get 50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup that is the code basement to get 50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup prize picks it's good to be right Frank? Yes, thank you. I appreciate you throwing it over to me. I need to have an uncomfortable conversation with you guys. And it's about the state of our nation. And our nation is Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. What's the state of it? It's going great. It's incredible. There's stuff on there that maybe you want to take a look at. Maybe you want to gander. Maybe Patreon is inviting you to come take a look under the blanket so to say. Well, you're not going to get the chance if you don't go to patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. That's the blanket. I'm showing you the weight of the blanket. And all you need to do, lift it up, take a look. Patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. Excited for that first tier? You've got these weekly episodes a week in advance. Whatever. What the fuck is happening? I can hear even Ann over there going, what is he doing? Second tier? Weekly episodes. Every single Friday. right yeah also hey joe i got a question for you if i join patreon today do i only get to see the episodes that come out after my joining no you get access to all of them all of them all of them it's actually it's a good question i've gotten that before it's a good question thanks for your approval this guy this guy over here i'm telling your dad oh my god i can't wait well listen go to patreon.com slash the basement you're on jokes aside we love the fact that you have joined us on this ride we want you to keep joining us or if it's your first time watching or listening or you're thinking about maybe you needed a little nudge in the right direction to check out what's under the blanket, this is that one. So go to patreon.com slash thebasemineyard. Sign up. You're going to love every single second of it. We promise you'll get more of this. You'll get more of that. Don't. Don't do that. Oh, God. Go check it out. If you want to save yourself some money, go do it at the URL on a web browser. If you use an app, guess what? It's going to take get some money from you. So save yourself some bucks, sign it up for Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. Thank you. We love you. We'll talk with you later. Last pitch I'm going to say about this. That's not a saying at all. Last thing I'm going to say about this. About the Backstreet Boys? We have made our plea and made our case of the Backstreet Boys. The balls are in their court. It's not just one ball now. There's five of them. So you need multiple balls for them. If they chose not to do it. It's okay. also other boy bands i'm not i i think i can speak for both of us we're not opposed in sync i mean listen sounds like justin timberlake could use some good press maybe maybe we can help don't ruin this i'm not ruining anything i'm just you're already bringing up other options we have one goal we have one goal but that doesn't mean that we can't be bought yeah we're we're paying i know we can't be purchased ing i'm just i've said what i had to say yeah and i think you know i think i could speak for anyone would be lucky to have us i could i don't know i don't know i mean i might throw up on that stage to be honest it looks like it would get me dizzy i mean if i looked back and i saw like you know like oh my god we're flying through a black hole i'm gonna throw up on the stage that would be that would be tough especially like everybody yeah yeah yeah some of those rooms like i remember when we were like first time on stage first time actually boys you hear that first time we were on stage at radio city i remember standing on that stage and just seeing the curvature of the room and just be like whoa i'm this is i'm feeling a little dizzy really yeah a little bit you know it could have been also a in addition to the weight of the moment for our first time of two nights on stage at sold out radio city and uh right it was it was intense so like i can imagine getting on there and just be like this is also intense yeah that would be a crazy one i don't know but they've done like stadiums so like balls are in your court if you're if you're getting one song to do with them and they're saying you can hop on one song here's our set list which one is like that one right there that one i think everybody i i do want to do the dance or i at least want to do the part where they just go uh everybody you know what there's a part of the song where it's like uh Everybody, everybody Yeah, I want to Or that part Throw your hands up in the air Wave around it like it just don't care That was pretty good Be careful how good it gets Oh, yeah, yeah Oh, the mist too? They take money from us in two videos I'll tell you what Now we have to upload this early And make sure it doesn't get Damn, come on We have to make sure that this doesn't get That much? That much? I don't know anymore the rules are so crazy With YouTube Call up the CEO of YouTube What are you doing here What should I say I'm going to the office I guess I said you'd call him Oh him You know what oops Women can't be CEOs No they can be and should be I believe that the CEO of YouTube Is woman if I'm not mistaken cancel him of all the things you're gonna look up now to make me look like an asshole I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure she's a I am a victim of a patriarchal society I'm a victim here that's a good narrative that's a good way to spin it I've done something wrong but it's because the world made me this way the world made me into the monster that I am okay it's a man now so she was fired for a man even worse she stepped down stepping down is great Her own accord, we love that autonomy And that choice That's how you girl boss Even if you're stepping down from being the boss She still, well CEO of YouTube is now Neil Neil? We're back to this Your dad is the CEO of YouTube? Neil what? Neil Mohan I think I got it Spell it That was how how i thought it was gonna be spelled yeah i mean from susan susan step down susan there better names yeah well that's a bad idea this is this is going to this is if anything now youtube has like a double reason to fucking hit us you know we buried it we're 40 minutes into an episode they'll never Neil's gonna be like Neil searches Neil searches his name in all the videos that have been uploaded and he just scrubs through them and he's gonna see your pretty grin and be like I'm not gonna do anything and he's gonna see my fucking ugly mug and he's gonna be like nah I gotta do something what is this you always do this thing where you're like this big ogre who's disgusting it's ridiculous you act like you're just like oh me I'm just so I'm like I got pimples and I'm like disgusting and I stink. Like, that's how you talk. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. First of all, you're a good-looking guy. First of all, let's start here. Who is to say that your beauty standards are pimply is bad? Get him, people that suffer from acne. Two, there is only one instance in popular media where we can point to an ogre and that's Shrek. And Shrek is a Corn of the internet fucking daddy. What point are you making? I'm saying that you always talk about your appearance negatively. No, I think I'm a relatively good looking person. Except if we talk about your ass. Then you go crazy. See, what a loaded episode. Your ass makes him make up words. Don't push over us. Like, this guy. What is going on in this episode? What? First, you're clearly feeling away about how you look in the mirror. First, what? We started there. No, what we started with was a double body shame. It was a singular body shame. It wasn't. It was not even a... I mean, you guys dogpiled me. You fully shamed him. You guys dogpiled me. You talked about my butt. And then you talked about something else that I can't remember at the moment, but I will watch the tape. I think it was your tiny... His words. Well, that's what you brought up. His words. There was a lot of insinuating. Then you brought up the eye cream, if you will. I laughed at Ant because I looked over at Ant and he went like this that's what he did and let's be careful because Neil's watching and we don't know what's going to happen and the Backstreet Boys I mean this could be one of the most celebrity viewed episodes because the Backstreet Boys, there's five of them you think of the staying power of each of the individual boys at the Backstreet then you add Neil in there, Neil's got the biggest media platform on the planet basically which I think is doing a great job. We're cool. We're cool, dude. We're cool, Neil. We're so cool. You're good. You're really cool. Put your fingers down. Yeah, be careful. Sorry. I don't know. I'm just saying that like... Yeah. I don't think I'm ugly, but like... If you had to rank yourself one to ten... We've done this a bunch. Yeah, but that was like years ago. I don't remember. So we're revisiting our personal... Do you think you're higher or lower? Do you think you've peaked? I think I am the best version of myself that I've ever been. Physically? Overall. I'm talking about appearance. Oh, just appearance? What are we doing here? Well, I mean, there's an overall ranking. There's a bunch of that stuff. We're talking about how you have this thing where you say you act like you're disgustingly ugly. I know I don't do that. It's a joke and fun. One to ten. On just looks. I would say I'm at like... See, this is tough because any answer I give, people are just going to be like, no, you're bad. Or there's going to be those dickheads that are just going to be like, honestly, Frankie, I think that you're pretty cool. But like, you got to know you're ugly. So there's no fucking answer that I give that's going to satisfy anyone. So you know what? There is no winning. There is no winning. there's no winning so i'm going to leave it uh for ambiguity i'm gonna let the world decide and by the world i mean becca because that's the only fucking opinion i need on that and god and santa claus that's right god and santa claus they're always watching yeah that that is correct yeah but yeah i mean i i know i'm not why do you gotta make me break down a joke like this why do you gotta make me do that i'm joking back you're joking back yeah i'm joking back yeah I think you're both tens. That doesn't save you, buddy. Yeah. You think I forgot about the last 45 minutes? Nice try. I'm telling your dad. What would you do? Serious question. Yeah. What would you do? Oh, wow. You're enjoying that. What would you do if his dad actually saw that and then he came into work when we were and he's like yo guys like you need to like seriously step back on those jokes we're like why and he's like my dad bent me over his knee and spanked me first of all that would be an insane thing to come in and say too if you think that's not resulting in a doubling and tripling down on the jokes you are sadly mistaken look at me like i said it yo could you like if he was like yo you gotta chill i'd be like literally not gonna i just like the picture of like because i've met your father have you ever been spanked by your dad crazy out of context thing to say no like you know like across his knee and being like ah i think once and smack your butt i think i think once and like it was like a pivotal thing for my dad where he was just like from that moment on i never want my kids be afraid of me so he like didn't hit us again but he gave us the look like really wish our parents hung out more because my dad i think got addicted to it Wait, so you got bent over like you're fucking Pepe Le Pew in a cartoon? No, I never got bent over. That never happened. The last couple of episodes... It was more of like a standing. Oh, so you took it standing. Come on. I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that, but you know what I mean. Was it bare butt? No, it wasn't my butt. I don't know. Maybe I got smacked from my butt. I don't know. Did you get across the knee? I mean, your dad's Italian, dude. He probably hit you with a wooden spoon. Anytime you had a wife beat her on, you're like, you'll stay out of his way. You've seen Godfather. Jesus Christ. But like, do you never? Not really. I don't think so. Maybe when I was really little. I mean, you're the oldest of your siblings too, so if anyone's getting their shit beat, it's you. You know what I mean? Come on. The double entendres don't count. Neil, take it easy on us because we're just joking around. Well, both Niels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All Niels. all neils involved i was talking about the big neil that's the other neil and then your your papa neil that's what we'll call them yellow and neil yes that's right got it got it yeah i can't i don't know if i've ever known someone or at least they haven't told me like that like just got like the legit like knee out they like slumped over it and then just got like a yeah that's like a real 50s thing that's a real 50s way of abusing children yeah that's not really modern yeah now it's done through like text messages yeah now yeah exactly now now you like psychologically catfish your daughter and you just pretend to be other people and bully her until she's psychotic listen if you plan on being a parent there's two ways of rearing your children the old-fashioned way yeah with a wooden spoon with spanking on the butt or you can text them that they're a fugly slore. Yeah, you can cerebrally assassinate them. And guess what? You also have the luxury of if you get caught, the world made you into this monster. Exactly. It's your trauma that made you do this. Just because you blatantly get caught doesn't mean that you can't change the narrative and be a victim too. Bingo. You know what I mean? If you get in trouble for something that you actively do, you're not in trouble for it because you're doing it because something actively happened to you. correct i don't know i mean you know i think like what a crazy document what a fucking fucking did we talk about that yeah yeah we talked about it ad nauseum yeah it's a good word i like that it reminds me of museum what does ad nauseum mean like does that mean until we're nauseous like a that's what it feels like like we talk about it until we want to throw up like oh until like but it's got to be it's got to be latin right also is it at nauseam ad ad oh yeah and nauseam is like like mausoleum good word also what is it what is it is it one word or two words it's ad nauseum ad used to say that something happens or is done so many times for such a long time that it makes people annoyed disgusted so similar basically what I said is it one word or two words two words where so where does the word nauseous I know nauseous has to do with like the feeling of being sick but I guess like if we trace it back to the early roots of what nauseous means it's the same thing no you had it it's a latin phrase it means to sickness so until sickness yo i'm a fucking genius frank the word is ad ad nauseum i mean but to be able to make the distinction that it's uh latin i think is very impressive well i'm just really excited to be sitting next to rosetta stone thank god you're here to figure that one out literally my guess too i didn't get any credit well you don't deserve credit speaking of credit though you know who does deserve credit and is finally maybe getting some. No. Us. Oh! I had no idea where you were going with that. Yeah, I mean, the segue wasn't perfect, but, you know. That was actually a good one. You've had way worse in the past. How so? You have to hard pivot sometimes. I mean, yeah, sometimes you have to hard pivot. No, but I don't know. It was announced, and I think we can talk about it now, but we have been. I'm going to go for it. We're just going to do it, right? At this point. Yeah, who cares? Neil, turn this off. Neil, wait. Wait, can we get in trouble? Turn it on. I don't know. Well, yeah. Why would you tell Neil? There's nothing to do with Neil. Yeah. Why would you do that? I'm confused now. Neil, he doesn't want you in the room. I do because I think everyone deserves a seat at the table to have a conversation about what they feel here. There you go, Neil. No, we got nominated for iHeartRadio Podcast Awards. Yeah, we got... Yay! We're on a lap track. I mean, not a lap track. A clap track. A clap track. A clap track. Applause track? Joey wants the clap. so give him it um cut that out neil um uh yeah we got nominated for awards we got best comedy best comedy podcast and best overall ensemble i believe it is which is wild i didn't think that we were an ensemble up pull them up baby well that's that's what it is yeah pull them up what are you gonna look what do you want me to do i want to make sure that i want to see who else we're nominated with it's it's best overall ensemble which we're an ensemble that feels like we were doing a dance well you know what i'm saying i mean no an ensemble is just a group i know but ensemble to me sounds like ensemble feels like more than two yeah so like huh i don't don't don't don't don't just more than two you'd say yeah too many now we're an ensemble because of this nomination now like i'm flab we're we're very oh my god honored to be like legitimately incredible legitimately like all jokes aside we were just talking we started talking about joey's tiny wiener and now we're nominated for awards yeah this is crazy yeah um i will say the fact that we because i just learned today i knew that we were nominated for best comedy podcast for a while now not for a while for like a week and a half or whatever and that that was cool i just learned today that we were also nominated for best overall ensemble and that is although very happy for that also not the best because I got to deal with this now. I didn't say anything. Ant's over there going like, you know, ensemble isn't duo. I mean, you know, I think that who knows the addition could have also taken us from being nominated elsewhere. So he's viewing it as in the positive. Like maybe you have just fucked us up. So we better win, really. Well I was looking at the other people in the category And it's all like trios The ensemble? Yeah I'm just saying Oh wow You know what you need to do right? The people love Ant man I mean good he deserves it Oh my god when it's like contract negotiation time This is going to come up Only if we win If we lose then it's easy I get to blame you If we win you're gonna oh i mean this is a classic scenario of just like if the cake is good i made it if it's bad you're someone else made it it's the same situation so i mean listen jokes aside an incredible honor because yeah the names in there are people that are like been in the industry like massive shows massive people comedians actors actresses um so just even being in the conversation is cool but then seeing that like you're nominated in the font that batman forever was typed in is really fucking cool too why did they use that font i don't know that is so funny it is the batman forever font though yeah i mean i'm just excited that we get to sit and go to an award show and just sit there oh you'd be like yeah i mean i'm cool with losing to be honest yeah i mean it's gonna be fun if we're if we're being honest we are nominated in best comedy category with some Juggernauts yeah Amy Poehler is one of them yeah so shit you know it's the honor of losing to the great Amy Poehler uh and then uh and the other one again Juggernauts one of the people that are nominated one of the shows in there is uh Smartless both nominated for Golden Globes this year yeah one was a winner and did anyone else in that category get nominated for Golden Globe did we get nominated for no no no we did not no no we baby steps i mean listen nomination i full just being completely honest here and not joking anymore i don't know if that's true but uh not something that i thought was actually possible because when you go and you look at the names who are nominated like in our field like they're kind of like either have a really good relationship with certain companies or whatever they're very famous people like obviously we are not that we're very independent and kind of do our own thing here in new york so the fact that we even nominated on this and and the winners are decided by like a like their own judges or whatever so like the fact that we're even nominated by people like that is like fucking awesome that means that you know we're kind of doing something right i mean we're also hot off the presses of being the sexiest podcast on the planet which is also a crazy thing like yeah like you know if we're you know what's happening if we're letting you if we're letting you peek under the blanket we are legitimately in a place where we're just like the things that have happened to us are crazy they're just funny now that and now it's getting to a point where it's just like that would be funny and then it's like it happened it's like like it's it is it's weird but also we need to approach it that way because if we don't certain people here that i can't point fingers to right are going to be like yeah you know yeah but we remain humble the byproduct there is pretty unfortunate but what what if our humbliety is what is preventing us from winning two words that we've made up today is that a word no oh humbliety our humble humbleness humble humility humility That's it. That's the one. Yeah. What if that's what's preventing us from winning in this stuff? Like maybe we didn't get nominated for a Golden Globe because we were too humble. I don't know what we could have done diff. I mean, what if we just made spitball in here? What if we just made shirts and just put our names on all the shirts? And you know what? Even faces. I've tried that. I've made that. i've done that before yeah i mean it's something it's something it's a thought yeah um no but that's it's crazy i mean a lot of this stuff is just fucking funny now and even like we were joking before about the backstreet boy thing like if something like that ends up happening like one that's just like not that's a dangerous thing to happen for us to know that we could speak something stupid like that into existence get ready yes this podcast is gonna be later remember there was a whole run of episodes we did where we were like saying that there was a bidding war out for the basement yard you were we didn't do anything i you it was a conversation you were like oh taylor swift buy our podcast whatever that i didn't say that i said fund it uh but also i think that uh you know you know how i am i keep an ear to the ground with things in the entertainment industry movies tv you know comic books stuff like that the way that that industry works is when something gets hot enough everyone wants it what if we need to be hotter hotter we got to get hotter but like in the sense of like you know backstreet boys backstreet boys you could become like you could have equity in this if you really want oh don't use that word we're not giving up equity i mean you know you think about it like they could they could what but they just need to give us what we want and maybe they'll get equity what are you doing i'm trying to do everything i know everything we're campaigning is what we're doing i mean you got a campaign you got to start somewhere i know but what's the award again i heart i heart podcast award or something like that it's a it's south by southwest yeah so the shows at south by southwest uh in austin in austin um i think it's safe to say again we could say we'll be attending yeah and uh i fully plan on making i have a cool outfit i was thinking about that should i wear a kembra becca and i first of all i already have two second of all i was thinking because becca and i were like what are we gonna wear and i was like oh shit yeah that's right like do we do tux or is that like you got it's the podcast awards you need to take it a little jokey like it's like a i believe what they said was cocktail attire i mean you are so far this year oh for one for cocktail attire because he dresses the weight stuff yeah honestly yo you want to know something funny about that i and i swear to whatever god is correct that i was when i put on the suit right because i was like i don't want to wear a blue or black suit i want to wear something different i put on the suit and i looked at myself in the mirror and i was like this looks nice but i look like a maitre d and i'm like it would be very funny if i'm dressed like if they if the staff is dressed like that and when we walked in i was like i really need to stop manifesting shit well i mean that that is what you do and what people do in general It like things only happen when they are manifested Right, yeah. So you did that. Yeah. You did that. Yeah, so I was like, oh, God. Can we... It wasn't that bad. No one made a comment. Just me. I mean, oh, my God. This is such a big, momentous occasion that we need to, like, remember it by purchasing something fucking stupid. All right, well... I almost pointed there. Yeah. By the end of the year, you might be able to afford something. We're at 90 bucks. I thought that he just pocket-watched you and said you're a broke bitch. Oh, no, no. Maybe by the end of the year, you'll be able to buy yourself something nice, you stupid fucking peasant. We started at 40. We got 50 this time. We got 50. I mean, if we are, as of recording, three weeks into the month, average if we're making a hundred dollars a month i could be walking out with a pretty good chunk of change by the end of this year that's what i'm saying you know and if i just keep rage baiting him it'll get better yeah but i don't i don't point just for anger i point because i talk with my hands and we're doing a thing you know i think i think it's mostly anger that you think i'm gonna tape my fingers now i mean you could do whatever you want you can put your fingers anywhere like this? What am I doing? Did we do an Edward Fortyhands episode? Oh my god, that'd be so good. We didn't. I've done it at your house numerous times. I think the only times you've ever done it have been with me. And underaged. Neil? Does it make it worse that I... Get out of here. Stop, Neil. Does it make it worse that I did Edward Fortyhands... For those of you guys that don't know what Edward Fortyhands is, by the way, it was an inner city thing when 40 ounce beers were $3. The best deal ever. Yo, such a crazy deal. You know why, like, you talk to boomers and like, oh, I bought my house for $15,000. I still don't think that's a better deal than the 40. Yo, that really is not. Getting fucking eight beers for six bucks. It's crazy. And not like, yeah, you can get 40 ounces of like Old English or like Cobra, which is like, it's malt liquor, technically. It's not even beer. But you get a Bud Light. You get a Bud Light, Coors Light for fucking like. Dude, you guys don't understand. And if you do, but you take two 40-ounce beers and you take them to your hand. You know what's funny? For 40,000 patrons, Edward Forty, no. Well, fuck that. I'm pointing. I don't give a shit. But yes. It was only a point at me. It was only a point at me. Yeah, yeah. It's only a time. Whatever. 40,000 patrons, Edward Forty hand Patreon episode. Two 40s. Wait. Didn't we already hit that? No. Well, we're getting, we're very close. All right, how about we raise it a little bit? Come on, guys. Do you not understand marketing? No, it's perfect. I feel like it's perfect. I'm going to make a statement. Do you not understand marketing? I'm going to make a statement right now, and if you argue against it, you're racist. For $42,000 for Jackie Robinson. Now, if you say no, then you're... What is it? What is it? Now you're racist. Because what? You're the one, you're making, what are you talking about? What are you attaching 42 to? You got to bump it up a little bit. You don't. We just want to do it. I'm going to have to tape one hand at a time. I feel like I need my hand. Oh, you're going to do it too? Yeah. I really don't want to do this. I pointed. I really don't. He did point. Why don't? Why don't? Why don't? The idea of drinking six beers in a one hour episode. It doesn't need to be like that. Let's mull it over, but I do have some sponsors and we'll get some. Oh my God. We're late. Oddly enough. Yeah, I didn't even think. uh we do uh this is kind of funny to transition into this but um zocdoc okay zocdoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality uh doctors so you can find someone uh that you love okay they're uh in network doctors too so you go on the website you plug in your insurance and your area and then it will show you doctors in your area and they're all patient reviewed so you know the ones that are you know well reviewed are good doctors. People had good experiences there. And yeah, you know that they take your insurance, you can kind of go there. I use ZocDoc literally all the time now. Anytime I have to go to like an eye doctor or a dermatologist or anything like that, I use ZocDoc to find people in my area. So that's what I, like I was using this before they were going to sponsor, but it's really great. Like I said, it's free. So all you have to do is stop putting off those doctor's appointments, Go to ZocDoc.com slash basement and to find and instantly book a doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash basement. Okay, ZocDoc.com slash basement. Thanks, ZocDoc, for sponsoring our show. And lastly here, we have Skims. Skims makes underwear. They make it for men now. So if you're a man out there and you need a pair of underwear that's nice and breathable and nice on your body, you can use skims okay uh they have a five inch boxer brief i think those are the ones that i have they sent us some boxers and they are very comfortable so i do enjoy them but you can shop the best underwear for men and women at skims.com let them know that we sent you after you place the order select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows and if you're looking for the perfect gift for your valentine uh the skims valentine shop is now open okay so yeah this is actually a really good gift for valentine's day so go to skims.com and let them know that they that you came from our podcast all right thank you um what were we just talking about i don't know do you remember before oh the 40s oh yeah i mean that's an intense but uh if you don't want to do it you don't have to do it it will do it thank you i know that you made it seem like you didn't want to do it yeah i don't But, I mean, there's fucking drinking six beers and then having to drive home. I would have to wait like fucking ten hours. You wouldn't drive. How would I get in? You sent in a car? No, no, I mean, you wouldn't. Ooh, that's a good idea. Yeah, how about we have the picky boys pay for that one then? I mean, this guy. A blade? Blade? You want to take a chopper home? No, I'm not. We're going to land it in your backyard? Flex, that's why this yard's so big, dude. I mean, call me a broke bitch now. Maybe one day you'll be able to afford something. Yeah, I mean, it would be crazy if we get, since we're nominated, like, we would have to, like, get something, right? We're in this together? I feel like you're convincing the wrong people here. Oh, yeah. I'm in support. Yeah. If we win. You know what's funny is there's no one I have to convince but this guy. Because every person, when it came to buying something for Radio City and MSG, I was like, yeah. And I was just like, someone fight back. I was doing the whole like, no. If we do the Edward Fortyhands, then I'll send a car if that's going to do it. Fire, dude. We will talk offline and figure this out. We'll figure it out. So we're not committing. not committing okay well what percentage i mean that's that's a that i'll be honest that's a big part of it is like the idea driving driving yeah because i would have to sober up well then the car so 60 that's a big part of it well the car i mean dude i wouldn't say you're not gonna drink six beers and drive away from me no duh no duh no duh no one's saying that you're suggesting that what's happening why are you guys pressuring me live on air whoa who's fresh i just said you You didn't have to do it. Oh my God, he's yelling at me now. I said you didn't have to do it. He hit me. Oh! I'm saying if it's the driving, then like, we'll end the car. Yeah, we'll talk about this. Okay. No pressure. Ask for a limo. Oh, do I get to pick the car? There'd be a... Like if he's like, I'll get you a car and it's like a 2002 Nissan Altima. I don't want that shit. You know what I'm saying? Do you want like a limo with a cheese pizza? I would like something. Like Home Alone? I would like something that has, oh my God, a cheese pizza right now because it's the beginning of the year so i'm eating like a deer yeah so i'm eating like a deer as well and not drinking this uh yeah this is not fun uh but i would like something that preferably would have like a bathroom so like a bus because i'm gonna need to piss like a fucking racehorse or just send me home with jugs first of all i'm not getting a bus that's not happening i think a limo is fair there's no bathrooms on a limo just take the four but there's enough space that i could piss in a limo if i had to oh you'd be paying for the cleanup but also first of all what you're gonna pee on the ground no but god forbid some pee got on the ground you could just be like pull over and piss where at a place my guy when i have to piss i have to piss now right there's no i mean you make it here you pull over i assume places i mean i know i've stopped drinking water or any oh you're talking about the way home yeah yeah yeah oh well like we kill some time and then you you let out five six peas and then you go i don't know we'll figure it out offline we don't know but 42 000 how are you committing to that then pump it up pump it up 46 okay you're getting crazy you got to give them something to like crawl toward we are it's perfect we'll hit it no time people definitely want to see that yeah it's been a long time since we were drunk on an episode has it been i think that the last one was the oh i drank though you drank you drank during the yardage those cameras went off and i saw joey just like i have this concept and aunt and aunt and i were just sitting there like I have this concept but I think the Scorpion Ball episode was the last one we got drunk for yeah no no no the brunch one here we were drunk for that what do you mean we drank oh the beer tower I used NAs you didn't I didn't but I wasn't like drunk on that I may have been I don't know the brunch one I think that we were we were drinking champagne the whole time yeah probably but I don't think I was drunk I think I maybe had like two. The scorpion bowl was definitely like. That was crazy. You've had scorpion bowls. Of course. I mean, you're the king. Thank you. You've had scorpion bowls? I've had one. Oh. Okay. Not a plethora. Plethora or plethora? Yeah, you made it sound like a dinosaur. What was that? It's cooler. Is it? Yeah. Dinosaurs aren't cool? Crazy. I love dinosaurs. That was crazy. Yeah, we're bringing it back. Should we bring it back? Like we'll do like Patreon goals We'll do 40 Then 45 Then 50 We should put out a poll Seeing if people want us to do that Because we have like What's the point? What's the point of that poll? It's gonna be Oh you mean bring back the goals Oh I thought you meant the 40 hands Yeah I think they would like that Cause if we put that You're talking about the 40 hands Put that on a poll? No the goals Oh yeah Why wouldn't they like that? Some people would just be like No I don't really care Wishful thinking over there Yeah no i i i think that when we did those did i ever tell you the story of the first goal that we did so it was the first goal when i first came on as co-host it was to get to 5 000 okay and it was joey will pelt me with eggs by the way not my idea yeah i i i i am like we grew up in the jackass era which by the way they announced a new movie's coming out in june what they're still doing i'm there brother yeah you're i am there um but i was like joey will pelt me with eggs and he was like all right and we filmed it in his bathroom he just climbed into my tub and he like from standing through them and whether it be because i'm a little more doughy than he is they weren't breaking when they were hitting me so it was fucking hitting me in the chest and it was just not breaking yeah so he would throw it and it would only break when it like hit like my arm and like the tub where it met and then we film it it hurts he's like it's unusable footage you know it was there was like way less of a budget back then so like the video just looked horrible and i'm like it the eggs weren't breaking like it's stupid and he's like are you fucking kidding me wait i do remember actually i saw the clip recently on tiktok where you were like if we hit this thing i'll come in in a tape suit yeah that was a crazy one because what people don't know about that and i did that that that was painful i looked ridiculous and i had broken out with a rash after because of the adhesive oh right this part of my body had broken out with like an intense rash and it fucking sucked damn it was not good i remember taking that tape off was interesting by interesting you mean painful i i felt horrible for you yeah well i think what we'll do this time around is like how i was on the receiving end of all these like i deserve it you deserve something yeah and i think it should be up to ant to decide what that something is yeah okay be careful okay no actually leave it up to me oh no no i already said yes no but you didn't say yes you said okay well i didn't expect this oh shot caller i didn't expect this power i'll think there is an episode i want to revisit that we did that included the shot callers i was thinking about it the other day do you remember the episode we did where it was like you should know like and it was like you asked me questions about things that you like okay and i asked you questions about things that i like all right and like if you didn't get it i got shocked yeah i mean i just i don't trust you i certainly don't trust oh i'm fair with that and i'm better he's more he's better to have the fucking shock button than i am there's nothing i hate more than that besides a tarantula here how about this i also bought new shock collar so how about this no it's weird that you bought them and you haven't used them yet what do you use them for i've used them i don't not here where other places in my underwear yeah yeah in my underwear and my socks don't forget his socks um what are you doing yeah his socks yeah his underwear can you do me a favor can we put out a poll just ask people what kind of stuff they want to see oh don't let them do that oh yeah yeah don't give them the power we're gonna be skydiving see this is why this is why this is why we need you and I would you skydive ever no no I used to be like yeah and now I have kids and I'm like no yeah if I die skydiving that's so stupid that's so dumb that's so dumb yeah it's tough kids they keep your feet on the ground literally and figuratively yeah that's an incredible line I just came up with that you're impressed with so i'm bringing the shock colors in next week is that we're saying no i i also no i'm always down to get shocked i have no problem with it i don't like it that was a pretty hard no so i don't i don't like it we could throw one on him if he's like okay we could also put one on your arm grow up i don't like it grow up you could do it oh now who's pressuring who yeah pressure guy you're a pressure washer i'm not a pressure washer yes you are you're washing me i'm not it's not bad you You can't start the episode being so ashamed of your micro dick that now you're going up with me micro washing it. The term is micropenis, one. Oh, sorry. I apologize for your condition. Two, I don't have a micropenis, although it's fine if you do have one. I don't know how he feels about it. You could mark me down for ten more dollars. I just pointed. Oh, I missed it. It is fine, but... I'm not going to do it. Neil's still watching. Yeah, I really hope Neil checked out. And the Backstreet Boys. They can't be involved with micro-penises. Yeah, I don't know. I can't. I don't like the shocking. You could eat, like, spicy shit. That doesn't really bother. I mean, that sucks, but, like, it bothers me way less than the shock. What about a... It's the anticipation. I've made that mistake. I know what I could do with... I know what we can get them with. If we mixed a shot of olive juice and malort. What does that do? You hate olives. Oh, oh. I don't know why I was thinking olive oil. Is there anything that really makes you gag? I really don't. Like, tuna fish? No, you guys got to grow up. That's the thing. You guys got to grow up. You got to be a grown job. I looked at Ant, and you know what he did? I know you're going to make this up. Thank you. I'm not on your side. And I'm getting bullied. There's bullying going on. Ant, did you not do this? I sort of did that. Oh! I sort of did that. Now who's being the lying teller? I'm sorry, I'm tired of it. I feel like we are getting drunker. I know. We just talked about it in the air. I'm tired of it. And I'm like, am I hammered or something? What's going on here? All right, we'll figure it out. We're going to figure it out off air, and we'll get back to you guys. But we're closing in on 40. and uh we'll see what happens here yeah we'll be good see what happens yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah exciting stuff yeah thank you guys for joining us uh boy i appreciate it and i think is happy about it too and me you tell me yeah yeah what i'm happy it sounds like you're trying to convince me more bullying before we leave no we are jokes aside like the nomination for the i heart uh podcast awards is because of you guys and uh we are truly truly appreciative and like humbled this all is like very crazy to us and uh just getting the opportunity to do this is amazing and then getting the chance to you know be validated by you guys is is unreal so thank you guys from the bottom of my heart yeah it's it's really cool to get that recognition because it's not something that we ever really expected to be honest i mean all this is pretty unexpected so uh it's it's but it's a really cool thing so hope we win but if we don't no need to feel bad for us we're just happy to be in the building all right but uh yeah you guys can go follow the show at the basement yard on uh tiktok and instagram and you can find nice baby thin thin ice you should know that after all the bullying about his you're in with him i'm in you're not with you're not on the same time as him you know i can't ice skate so i'm not even anywhere near thin ice that is all we'll see you guys next time