Honey, I Shrunk the Kids with Jana Schmieding

This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed human. No gloss, no filter. Just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachon on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. 24th of April on ITV1 and ITVX. Bring on the ding dong. On the backdoor cast, the questions ask if movies have women in them. Are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism? The patriarchy's effin' vast. Start changing it with the backdoor cast. Honey, I shrunk the cast. The podcast. How'd I shrunk the cast? The podcast, that is. Okay. I was gonna go with, Pod, I shrunk the cast. Oh. But there's, we'll keep finding it. I think we'll keep finding it. There's so many. This is maybe one of the most iconic movie titles of its generation, probably. Truly. It really is just, wanna know the plot of the movie? And he says it, I also, I came to appreciate the title of this movie even more when I learned what it could have been called. There was a lot of weird, like this movie was originally being shopped around under the title Teenie Weenies. Originally, you're like in a world where this movie was called Teenie Weenies. I just don't think it's as successful. Teenie Weenies, and then they later were like, as the Wikipedia explains it, Teenie Weenies seemed to appeal to a more child demographic, which I don't necessarily think is the reason that title doesn't work, but. And none at all. Teenie Weenies, the name was changed to grounded to appeal to a more mature audience, also not seeing the logic. I mean, that one makes more sense, because first of all, they're on the ground. They're so close to the ground. But grounded implies that they've misbehaved and they're grounded, but that's not really what happens. Well, then it changed again to the big backyard, which sounds, I think, more childish than ever. Yes. And finally, they were like, let's just take the line of dialogue out of Rick Moranis' beautiful lips. Those big, juicy lips. I am gonna be objectifying Rick Moranis' lips today. Buckle in. I mean, what else is new? As with every other time we've discussed Rick Moranis. He's got perfect lips. Welcome to the Bechtel cast. My name is Jamie Loftis. Us talking about Rick Moranis' big, juicy lips does pass the Bechtel test. Unless he, who I'm sure is a listener, objects, I will stop. But I bet he likes it. I think he's into it. Yeah. Anyway, my name's Caitlin Durante. My name's Jamie Loftis, and this is our podcast where we discuss your favorite movies using the Bechtel test as a jumping off point and using an intersectional feminist lens. But Caitlin, what is the Bechtel test? Because this movie's gonna struggle with it. It really is. It is a media metric created by a dear friend of ours, friend of the pod, Alison Bechtel. There are many versions of it. The one that we use is, do two characters of a marginalized gender speak to each other? Do those characters have names? And is there conversation about something other than a man? Also, we particularly like it when it is a narratively meaningful and relevant conversation and not just throwaway dialogue that could be cut out of the movie and it would change nothing to the narrative. And as you said, this movie is gonna really struggle. Despite there being several characters who are women and girls in this story. But you won't catch them not being blonde. And you won't catch them not being in relation to a weird guy. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. We have a wonderful guest with us to discuss this movie. She's a comedian and writer. You've seen her on Reservation Dogs and Rutherford Falls. You remember her from our episodes on The Vividge and Never Ending Story. It's Janish Meading. Hi again. Hello, welcome back. Welcome back. I love hearing guests past episodes because you're just like, what a journey we've been on. What is a podcast if not a Never Ending Story? Truly, truly. And this one just kind of continues the story in such a weird way. I think maybe you can see from the pattern of my choices in movies to discuss with you. I love a practical effect of any kind. I love sort of a puppetry vibe. I love the kind of creepy films of the 1980s that were geared towards children but were sort of adult themes. This one, not so much. But there's like scary imagery and... Yeah, there's like sci-fi kind of fantasy vibes going on. And also, you know, the creepiness of white people, which is something I love to talk about. Yes. This one is sort of, that's all it is. Creepy white people. Creepy white people, creepy dads. And it's creepy white people creeping each other out and then deciding it's actually fine. Which is, we can get into whatever that is supposed to mean. But we're so excited to have you back. What is your history with Honey You Shrunk the Kids? And because there's so much, the Honey I Shrunk the Kids expanded universe. Oh, I'm so glad you asked, Jamie, because I was sort of a child of the 80s. I was nine years old when Honey I Shrunk the Kids came out in 1989. So I did sort of have, I was like marketed heavily to by Honey I Shrunk the Kids. And, you know, the entire Disney cinematic universe of the 80s. So I was like, I was on that, I was on the fucking tip with Honey I Shrunk the Kids. I was like, I can't wait for this shit to come out. Your finger was on the pulse. I was really, and you know what? They released in quick succession. So Honey I Shrunk the Kids, I feel like it was kind of a breakout Disney live action in the 80s. It was kind of like, hey, we're doing this theatrical release made for TV movie, I think. Did it get a theatrical release? I swear it did. And it was successful. It made the, I think the current equivalent of half a billion dollars. That's insane. It made so much money. There was no person, it seems, on earth who didn't. It's doing almost avatar numbers. Truly, and it kind of was in that very quick moment of 1980s like Disney history. It really had a fucking moment. And it, I watched the making of, which I actually think I kind of like more than the movie. They have a making of that is like. I wish you'd seen it. Or you can see how the effects are done. You know, I bet it's somewhere on YouTube. I thought about this last night while I was watching it. I was like, I wonder if the YouTube, if YouTube has the making of, because the making of was fucking sick. But we can get into that later. But yeah, I didn't love the second Honey I Shrunk the Kids or any consecutive ones. I was really just sort of like in that childhood, like Disney watching moment where I was like the target audience for Honey I Shrunk the Kids. And you know my taste. I love a stunt, a practical effect, like any kind of slapstick bullshit, a giant, a weird set, like, and they showed it. They showed how they made it all. It was so cool. That's so cool. I, yeah, when I started watching this movie, I was like, oh no, I understand why Jenna loves this movie. It is, it makes sense. And it's awesome. I mean, it's wild how, I mean, I'm sure we will get into it a lot today, but just the lost art of practical effects. It is just such a damn shame. Why aren't we doing it? I'm not lost. Disinvested. Yes, disinvested. We could easily have movies with this level of practical effects. It's creepy. It's terrifying. It's terrifying. Like everything was so slimy and goopy and like it was giving sort of Nickelodeon also. Like there was like some elements of like kind of gross out elements in the movie that I'm like these, the 80s was the perfect for kids films because it scares kids. And it's always some sci-fi weird thing that is like completely, like not scientifically we are not able to do it, but like we were just dreaming so big in the 80s. We were just saying whatever. The sky's the limit. We could do that. I miss movies like this. They just don't make them like this anymore. I do too. Yeah, we're like, it's incredibly weird, but the scope of it is both very large and very small. It's really satisfying. Totally. I mean, the story is absolute trash and my boyfriend who watched it with me did fall asleep halfway through. And I sort of had to smoke a lot of weed to sort of keep the interest alive. I kept falling asleep during both watches of this and then I had to wake up and then be like, oh, how much did I miss? I had to rewind. I was wide awake. I'm like, I'm realizing. Locked it. I'm realizing that I hadn't seen this movie before. I'm pretty sure I should have texted my mom about it, but there were certain things in movies that were just total non-starters for me when I was little. One that I talk about on the show is all the time are the talking animals where it's a real animal and the mouth is digitally manipulated and then it's like Zha Zha Gabor's voice. I can't do that. It scared me so much. The non-blinking animals, I didn't like that. Yikes. The other thing was giant insects, which I learned when one of the first movie I remember seeing when I was really little was James and the Giant Peach. Couldn't do the bugs. And I have a feeling that's why this movie was kept from me because it's really doing the bugs. It is. Oh, yes. It's sort of like when a bug's life came out, I was like, you guys already did that. It's called Honey, I Trunk the Kids. But I was quite moved when I, I will say, another thing that doesn't happen really in children's movies that, and I say this, I'm like, I don't have kids. I don't know what I'm talking about, but I don't think it happens as much. Is that characters that we love die. I was moved when the end died. I was very sad. It's the low point of the movie, yeah. Yeah, it's like the big, it's a fucking crisis for these kids. I can't, also, I don't wanna break into the plot, but can you imagine getting shrunk? Getting shrunk, that, that. Can you imagine getting shrunk like that? How fucking traumatizing it would be. You would have the craziest CPTSD like for the rest of your life. No one would know how to talk to you. No one would know. You couldn't see any therapist. You would be committed immediately. And like rightfully so, like I just, I can't even imagine what these kids' adult lives were like. That's my main, I mean, again, it's like a suspension of disbelief thing, but like my main thing with this movie is amongst other things, how it seems like literally everyone is severely underreacting. Oh my gosh, yes. The shrinking, the shrunk are like, oh God, I'm not gonna make it to the mall. And then the parent, the parents especially, I'm like, what is going on with you guys? They don't seem to give a single shit about what's going on. They're like eating cereal, they're going to bed at 9 p.m. I'm like, what the hell? And, and you know what? That's the other beauty about 80s movies is it's saying something about our parents and how they kind of don't give a shit. They're up their own asses. They're not really paying attention to what we're doing. So we can kind of go and have our own adventures on our own. It's giving latchkey, it's giving like, I'm watching soap operas after school because my mom is at home. Like it's 100% of the time of its time. Yes. You cannot accuse these parents of being helicopter parents. They really, not a 1980s parent, absolutely not. It couldn't be them. They're like, oh yeah, you have to clean the entire house, girl. And if I shrink you, well, maybe I'll learn something about me at the end of the movie. Maybe, but kind of not really. God help you if you shrink my couch. God help you. The couch is of bigger concern at multiple points in the plot. Kate, Caitlin, what's your history with this movie? I saw this quite a few times as a kid, but I have not seen it in probably around 30 years or more. So a lot of the details were pretty foggy for me. Though I do remember specific moments. I remembered various moments with the giant aunt. I remembered just little bits and pieces of them like navigating through the grass. And then I remembered the Cheerios at the very end. The Cheerios are such a highlight. That is wild. It maybe is saying something also, Caitlin, about perhaps are your different, the differences that you and I have, which is I remember the fucking French kiss. So I was like, oh, like when I was a kid, I was like, oh my God, this movie is so horny. Wow, wow, wow. I was into it. I mean, it's certainly, we'll talk about it, but like it's not, there are certainly worse teen romances. And you know what, well, no, I'm realizing this is incorrect. I was gonna say, what sustains a relationship but shared trauma, that's not true. But it's a foundation. We got shrunk together and I believe you. That's right. Your shrinking story is valid. In any case, yes, I saw this movie quite a bit. I don't think we had it on VHS. I was three when it came out. So I wouldn't have seen it until the early 90s, but it was in the rotation for a while. I think we probably rented it from the video store quite a bit, but after that, I kind of grew out of it and haven't seen it in several decades. But rewatching it for this, I was like, ooh, these practical effects. Ooh, these wild parents who don't give a shit that their kids are missing. I also didn't know much about, or it had been a long time since I had read anything about Joe Johnston, who we've covered his work before because he also directed Jumanji. But I didn't realize that he totally makes sense, got started as an effects guy and an art director and he literally designed the Millennium Falcon and Boba Fett. Damn. He's a bit of a legend. And then he is like, I'm gonna be a director and I know just the project. And he was right. It made a bajillion, $1989. Yes. And Jamie, you said you had not seen this before, right? I hadn't seen it. I did and I guess this I found fell into because even though it's the oldest of the type of movie I'm going to describe, it does feel like there was a very, like late 80s into the 90s, early 2000s plot that boils down to father and or husband whose special interest is ruining his family's life. Now this I would include and please, I was like, I know I'm missing stuff. I would include Flubber. Flubber, 100%. And Flubber is ruining his marriage. Dr. Doolittle, the animals, it's becoming too much for the family. The Santa Claus. The Santa Claus, yeah. He's already divorced, but it is ruining his son's life. Casper, wife is dead, but the ghost thing destroying Christina Ricci's life. Yes. Damn. There's also Jack Frost. Oh my God, how can I forget Jack Frost? Yep. Michael Keaton loves his band too much or something and then he turns into a snowman about it. They do imply that being a father in a cover band could kill you. Turns into a snowman about it is the funniest. I hate my life and my family. But yeah, no, Jamie, you're right. There's so many movies like this from this era. This plot point. And I was trying to figure out and Mrs. Doubtfire isn't quite this because I wouldn't say being Mrs. Doubtfire's his special interest, but it has the same energy, right? Yes. The big thing that the dad is doing is irreparably harming the lives of his family. And all of these movies, if they do involve divorce, have a different perspective on it. This movie comes down on don't do it. And actually, the dad should maybe not even change what he's doing. But mom needs to kind of come around. Exactly. And that's what's for the best of all. I guess at least in the Santa Claus, they stay divorced? Yes. Because I don't know, Judge Reinhold's love is too powerful. I don't know. I was just thinking a lot about this plot. I'm like, I wonder why it was just coming up so much. Oh, also, I think Liar Liar you could put into this category. Oh, I've never seen that. Special interest is more, it's like his job, but his job is a lawyer. And then it ruins his son's life. I think, I don't know. I haven't seen that movie since I was 12. Listeners, please weigh in, either with more examples or why the hell this was happening, other than we are supposed to think that fathers are more interesting. But it's like a sub thing going on here. Anyways, hadn't seen it, but it's a rich text. It sure is. Let's take a quick break, and then we'll come back for the recap. At Tesco, we know that beans. And you love to ask, have you had yours? All of you. Love it. Hater. And because I'm worth it. When you need low prices on brands you love, like 150 grams of Heinz beans, 12 pack of Weetabix, 250 grams of Marmite, or 700 milliliters of L'Oreal LV of Color Protect Shampoo, look out for the everyday low prices logo in store and online. Tesco, every little helps. Everyday low prices includes thousands of products across the majority of larger stores and online prices held until the 10th of May. Selected branded products only. If you want to save a few quid, British gas have a way. You get half price lecky, and it's called Peek Save. On every Sunday, it's the smart thing to do if you're regular folk or furry and blue. 11 till 4, let the good times begin. You could charge up the car or take the dryer for a spin. Half price electricity, what joy that brings with British gas Peek Save, we're taking care of things. T's and C's apply eligible tabs and smart meter required. OK, here's the recap. We meet two kids. Amy is a teen girl who's talking on the phone with her friends about her crush, and she's making plans to go to the mall. You know, teen girl stuff. It is, it feels like very specifically like 80s teen girl too. Yeah. And we also meet her younger brother, Nick, who I think is like eight years old. He likes science stuff because he's a boy. And science is for boys, according to this movie. He takes after their dad, Wayne Zalensky, who is a scientist slash inventor, who is busy building this elaborate shrinking machine in the attic that is supposed to significantly shrink whatever object you put in front of it. But it also has the power to reverse that if the plot requires that. I was trying to think. I was like, what would honestly, later on when Amy is like, this shrinking machine is going to make my father rich and famous. And I was like, what would they use it for? And I was like, honestly, the fucking military would figure something out. Military industrial complex is the answer. Rick Moranis would sell this technology for billions of dollars to the military. He would be basically. Is that what happens in the sequels? I don't think so because isn't the sequel like kids I shrunk honey or something like that? Honey, I blew up the kid. Oh yeah, honey, I blew up the kid. But by blew up, it means enlarged, right? Yes. Not explode. That is a confusing title. Honey, I blew up the kid. We need a second pass on that. Yeah. Yes. And then the third one is honey, we shrunk ourselves. Oh, that's the one I'm thinking of. And the parents get shrunk. And then there was also a TV show. And then there was almost a reboot. Called shrunk. I remember, oh, I think that my closest encounter with Honey, I Shrunk the Kids would have been the first time, unless I'm projecting this memory on myself. I went to Disney World when I was like 13. And they used to have a ride called Honey, I Shrunk the Audience. And I'm pretty sure I went on that. OK, I was like saying to my boyfriend last night, I was like, I know that they had a ride at Disneyland. Like there was something, it was a big deal at Disneyland. And I remember being like, God, I just want to go to Disneyland so bad. I lived in Oregon. I just want to go to Disneyland and go to Honey, I Shrunk the Kids ride. I was so in on this fucking IP. I don't know why. I got to get shrunk. I want to get shrunk. Honey, I blew up the kid is, OK, came out in 1992. Everyone comes back. In the film, Wayne succeeds in enlarging his two-year-old son to gigantic proportions as one of his size-changing experiments goes awry. OK, so he doesn't sell it to the military. He's just experimenting on his family, which is evil in a different way. Interesting. And then in 1997, in Honey, we shrink ourselves. Everyone is gone except for Rick Moranis. Everyone is like recast. Oh, yes, yes. You hate to see that. You hate to see it. Yeah. In any case, so Wayne is working on this machine in his attic, except he has not gotten it to properly function yet. He keeps just exploding apples, which is also making a bunch of noise, which pisses off his next door neighbor, Russell. And we also meet Russell's his wife, May. A very confusing character to me. Oh, I cannot pin this lady down. No, we'll talk about her. But her name is May, and she's played by Christine Sutherland, who people probably recognize from Buffy. She played Buffy Summers' mom. Anyway, they have two sons, Russ, Jr. and Ron. And Russell Sr. is trying to get his elder son, Russ, Jr., into fishing and football and weightlifting. But Russ isn't interested in any of that. He's busy leering at Amy through the window. The thing with Russ, it's so like, I like in theory that he's like pushing back on his father's stuff. And he's like, you can't tell me what to like. I'll tell me what to like. And then his dad is like, OK, what do you like? And he's like, I don't know. We never really find out. No. And although we do sort of see that he maybe gets a little boner while he's watching Amy dance in the kitchen. And so I thought last night as I was watching it, I was like, Dad, I just want to stay home and jerk up. Which? Just let me and stay at home and watch porn. That's all I want to do, Dad. Which like it doesn't seem like his dad character would like receive that poorly. No. He's probably like, I'm doing the same thing, buddy. Exactly. That guy was a weird oh, do not like the dad. I did not get what they were going for with that character. I had never, I wasn't familiar with this guy, Matt Fruehrer. But he's been on everything. But he, I think most famously was Max Headroom. It was Max Headroom. Yeah, I did not. I mean, I guess I was like, oh yeah, that was a guy, not a computer. So I guess he did a good job at that. I mean, he's, I don't know, that character is so bizarre. I do think it's interesting that they're like, OK, our movie is about two sets of kooky neighbors who are convinced they are not the kooky neighbors. There's all these moments where they'll look at each other across the fence or whatever through the window and be like, what a weirdo. OK, meanwhile, Wayne leaves the house. He leaves his children unattended to head to a conference where he's like talking to a group of scientists about his machine. Well, he leaves the house after being, like it's unclear to me at the top of the movie what the state of the marriage is. It seems like mom is like not currently, like is taking a break. It seems very temporary because they say that she's, they had a fight the night before. And so she went to stay at her mother's house, but that she'll be back that afternoon. Right. But the kids are stressed. Understandably, they're confused. Yes. And Rick Moranis replies by being like, it's all good, guys. But the house needs to be clean when your mother gets home. So you guys are going to have to do that. And specifically, Amy, you're going to have to do that. Yeah, he gives his kids very gendered chores where he's like, oh, Amy, you're a girl. So you clean. And Nick, you're a boy. Even though you're a small child and you're like eight years old, you should mow the lawn. We'll get into that. There are eight-year-olds that are told to mow the lawn. I'm not endorsing it either way, but I've seen it with my own eyes. That seems very dangerous to me. But yeah, I'm sure it happens. Anyway, so he leaves for this conference. While he's gone, the younger neighbor kid, Ron, accidentally hits a baseball into the Solynsky's attic. It strikes the shrinking machine and turns it on and makes it start working because it shrinks an armchair and a couch. Yes, the couch. Rick Moranis' favorite child in the movie. His thinking couch. Yes, his thinking couch that he's obsessed with. Meanwhile, Russ sees that his brother, Ron, had smashed this window. So he drags Ron over to the Solynsky house to tell them what happened. And Nick takes Ron up to the attic to retrieve the baseball. But oh no, the machine shrinks the two of them. And then it shrinks Amy and Russ Jr. when they go upstairs to check on the other kids. So now they're all tiny. They're like a quarter of an inch tall. They're about the same size as like a house fly. They're freaking out. Wayne comes home. He's like, where are my kids? But then he's kind of like, whatever. Whatever. They're probably at the mall. Yeah. Yeah. So he goes up to the attic. The kids are trying to get his attention, but they're so small. Their voices can't carry. He can't hear them. And he's frustrated about his machine because he was just humiliated at this conference. So he trashes this machine. Beats it with a bat. Yes. This pretty much destroys it. There's like debris flying and it's like threatening to hit the shrunk people. He goes on a basically abusive rampage against his machine for humiliating him. Yeah. Rage against the machine. I really, I thought that the guy that like necks him, does he ever come back? The guy in the guy who's like, oh, well, no, I think the shrinking machine sucks. And you're just like, well, surely we'll see this guy again. And we just don't. We do not. Just don't. No. But Wayne does trash his own invention and then sweeps up the debris as well as these four children unknowingly. And to me, I'm like, OK, so you can clean the house when it suits you. Yes. Interesting. And he sweeps them all up into a dust pan, throws them in the trash and then takes the trash bag out to the curb. Now the kids managed to cut the trash bag open and escape, but now they have to get back to the house through the yard, walking a distance that's the equivalent of over three miles because of how small they are. So they embark on this journey. Their mom, Diane, meanwhile, returns home and she's like, Wayne, where are the kids? And he's like, I don't know. And they're both like shrug. It's the 1980s. Doesn't matter where our kids are. They're somewhere. Yes. Yeah. We're cool with them not being around, whatever. And that's the attitude at first. But then eventually they make some phone calls to other parents. They realize that their children are like low key missing. And then Russ and Ron's mom, Mae, also notices that her kids are nowhere to be found. But again, the urgency just isn't quite there. To be fair, the urgency is there for the kids sometimes. I'm wondering if that was like just to make the whole predicament a little less scary to the audience of like they're not constantly saying, we're going to die. We're going to die. We're going to die because that's scary. But there's only a couple of moments where you're like, oh, this is this is really serious to them. They're very convinced this is going to be fine by 5 p.m. Right. Also, so is the score. So is the music composition. It's very like it's giving, you know, home alone. It's very much like comedy. It's really uplifting. We are so assured when this happens that there will be a happy ending. And I do want to say on the parents, negligent parents or like them not really caring, this is the beauty of the 1980s that I really want the audience to understand. In the 1980s, in the suburbs, you get on your bike with the neighborhood kids and you fucking you're from morning till sundown. You're out and about. No care in the world. The parents couldn't be happier. You're out of the house. Get the hell out of here. You you have a day off from school. Get out of here. It was just like playing outside, doing kids stuff. I feel like our current culture, like our streets are too dangerous. To do that now, you can't you can't do it as much. And it's and it's also depressing because I feel like the the internet has become a version of being left loose, but not in a way that seems quite as enriching or fun. It sounds really depressing. Yeah, they weren't scrolling. They weren't busy on the computer at home. They, you know, these kids are like we go to the mall when we want to have a good time when we want to hang out. That's such a good point. Like, I don't know, this this movie's attitude towards missing children is very interesting. And they kind of call out one of the factors that like was very influential, regardless of like how true it was of like latchkey kid culture going away, which was milk carton kids, where I think it's like the mean little brother that's like, I hope you end up on a milk carton. And I was like, yeah, you need it. You need an aunt to change your life, my boy. I do think it's also part and parcel not to like break into the plot, Katelyn, and talk about like the context. But we're in the 1980s, we're kind of like post space race, like Cold War, Reagan into Clinton, like we're still in this era of we are the leaders in space travel and space exploration. And, you know, we we beat the Russians ass, and we are like top of our game scientifically, like the stem is popping off in the States and elsewhere. But it's like the political foundations behind all of that is this Reagan era family values. You know, it's it's 10 p.m. Do you know where your kids are? Commercials are coming on TV, you know, it's like, like, like Barbara Bush kind of like education, family values, parents involved, you know, like it's just like this toxic culture of like moving from latchkey to like it's a response to our need to have two parents in the working world. Nuclear family. Right. Yes. Yeah. Which I do feel like there's like a vibe to this movie that feels not like, OK, the mother should quit her job. But it's like, well, if she's going to have a job, she's going to have to emotionally compromise severely to like cohere to what the expectation is. Yeah. Yeah. This is a rich text, a rich text. So rich. And then there are bees. Not the bees. Not the bees. Bees come and they are swarming around and somehow Russ and Nick end up on a bee and the bee is flying them all over the yard. Wayne is trying to swat at the bee with a baseball bat. And then he looks down and he's like, wait a minute, why do I have a baseball bat? My son doesn't play baseball. And then he sees the shattered attic window. He goes upstairs. He finds the shrunken armchair and the shrunken couch in the attic. And he puts two and two together and realizes that the machine does work and it shrunk all the kids. It was really fun now that like we all have knowledge of more knowledge of production than when we last saw this movie, I'm assuming, of like, what a light lift this movie is for all of the adults versus the children. Truly. Children are like wet and in combat, the whole movie. They had those kids doing their own stunts. It was I'm telling you, and I just linked the in the chat. I just linked the part one of the making of because it is on YouTube. But yeah, the way that they put these kids through the dam, Disney ringer. It's like it is so funny being like, oh, and then we cut to a shot that we know now is just Rick Moranis sweeping something up into a little dust pan. It's that's an easy day at work for Rick Moranis. Meanwhile, the children are soaking and they have to go to school. Anyways, yeah, blew my mind. Yes, I also do want to say I think that my my my whole like theme on this episode is going to be like 1980s and like the ethos of the 80s. But Rick Moranis, a scientist, a physicist or, you know, yeah, I assume he's a physicist, a very intense scientist swinging a bat at a bee, swinging a baseball bat at a bee. You you know, in the 80s, we weren't worried about the honeybees disappearing. True. We weren't we weren't concerned about the extinction of the bees. No, it's true. No. Yeah, we were swinging bats at the bee. Truly a scientist trying to kill a bee could never. I did. I did appreciate the this movie's commitment to Yada Yada science. Oh, yeah. They don't even try to give us an explanation of how this shit works. It's like computer, computer molecules. And now they're shrunk. Yeah. I mean, it's the same junk science that like Back to the Future is based on. Like the 80s movies were just like, let's just say some words. And then that's the movie. It's kind of fun because it's like I know that like whatever the famous example is like after Jurassic Park, children's interests in paleontology went through the roof. I'm guessing this movie maybe I'm I'd be curious. Did this movie move the needle for physics? I don't think there's enough info there to be like when I grow up, I want to shrink. Yeah. What is what is the itch being scratched? I don't think maybe it moved the needle very much. Yeah, because it didn't cause like an excess. I mean, you know, Jurassic Park had such a deeper thematic. Message like the the morality of science. But the this was just like, guess what? We shrunk our kids and the neighbors kids and is actually pretty rad. So yeah, they're like, what is shrink? They actually sort of had some fun while they were shrunken and they even kissed. The kids fell in love. They all fell in love. Well shrunk. So bizarre. There's a very specific line I'm excited to get to with regards to the kids being shrunk and falling in love. I just this movie. Oh, baby. Yeah, wait. OK, so Wayne has figured out that his machine shrunk these four children. So he starts freaking out remembering that he was stomping around, sweeping the floor. He realizes he probably threw his tiny children in the trash and that they're probably somewhere in the yard now. So he starts searching the yard for the kids. Meanwhile, Russ and Nick tumble off the bumble. The beach. Nice. Thank you. Thank you. I just improv that on the spot. Huge. They tumble back into the yard. But now they are separated from Amy and Ron, who are not getting along because Ron hates girls. He has some sexism that he's going to have to overcome throughout the story, which he does sort of kind of just through Amy's. Amy's grace. The arcs for these children are so weird. It's true. I I really thought like even by like 80s standard, I was like, the ants going to be a girl. The ants going to be a girl. And that's how he's going to learn how to respect women is by meeting a woman aunt. I think big missed opportunity. That an aunt cured his misogyny. It would have worked. It would have worked, but they didn't do it. They did not. Oh, anyway. So Wayne, who is now on a pair of stilts searching for the children, because I'm guessing the logic here is that the surface area of like the bottom of the stilt that would be on the grass is smaller than a human foot. But a stilt could still easily crush the children. So I don't know what. I'm just the rules of when he is trying to not squish the kids versus when he isn't. There are a few times where he kind of clumps into the yard and you're like. He fully tumbles off. They both tumble off. They both like squat. The way that I the entire movie, I was like, can you imagine if Rick Moranis just he he beats the shit out of his machine and then he goes over to sweep. He realizes just then and there. Oh, my God, I shrunk the kids. He lifts up his shoe and they're just like four squished children on the bottom of his shoe. Can you let's just a story of a deeply traumatized father. And like, does he tell? Does he tell the wife? Does he tell the neighbors? Like, God, I admit to it because he could probably pretty easily get rid of the evidence. Yeah, that's like a Sundance movie. Yeah. Honey, I shrunk the kids and then I murdered them on accident. And then I didn't tell anyone. Wait, where's that movie? And I'm living with the grief and guilt for the rest of my days. That's kind of awesome. As maybe that was going to be the reboot. Like a villain orgers origin story. Honey, I can't stop shrinking kids and then stepping up. Well, well, maybe we'll see that one day. I hope so. In the meantime, that's what Rick Moranis is going to come out of retirement. God, just kidding. It's Spaceballs 2 I learned yesterday. Yes. Yeah. Maybe I'll cover Spaceballs for my birthday this year. Anyway, OK, Wayne, he's on the stilts. He accidentally turns the sprinklers on because he's like falling all over the place on the stilts. So now these enormous drops of water start raining down around the kids, which the practical effects here are pretty fun. But also the water is very like viscous. It's gooey. It's it's pretty thick water. It's thick. I was just sort of like, I guess that's what water was like in 1989. Maybe they were just putting corn syrup into the water back then. I don't know. Yeah, I bet the making of tells us the water, the sequence and how they sort of did the water special effects. But I think what they were going for was optimizing it for splash content. Like they really needed it to be heavy water so it could be like, you know, gloopy, gloppy. And then it turns sort of into, quote unquote, mud, which I was like, no, that looks like sewage. It's pretty gross what it turns into. I was kind of shocked, especially because that's the source of the first, quote unquote, romantic moment in the movie. That's where the French comes from. And I know the children are ostensibly covered in shit. Like it's it's wild. Yeah. So what happens here? And we'll talk more about it later, but the water is sprinkling down on them. Amy falls into a puddle and Russ has to save her and gives her mouth to mouth. And then she wakes up and she's like, wow, thanks. That was amazing. It's this very emotional moment. Yeah. And then there's a joke that is set up that takes a full 45 minutes to pay off, which I was pretty impressed. Right. Yeah. The whole, oh, where did you learn how to do mouth to mouth? French class. But Nick is too young to understand what that means at first. Anyway, sort of his arc at the end, he's traumatized from the shrinking, but. But he learns what French kissing is. Yeah. OK, so the four kids continue onward toward the house. They come upon a discarded oatmeal cream pie cookie and start eating it. Great product placement. Yes. Great product placement. I was genuinely impressed. Truly the best product placement, the only product placement in the whole movie, I think. Well, there's Lego. Oh, that's right. That's a Lego. But there is like the slamming of the oatmeal pie, the little Debbie's right on the counter by baby McMurrayanus. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's great. And I love those shits. Oh, my God. I was like, good choice of something to eat because I loved those as a kid. They still hit there like recently because I keep up with these things. They they recently have been putting them into like ice cream flavors. And I would. Oh, my God. Highly recommend the oatmeal cream pie ice cream. It is they're doing it for all of them. But like the oatmeal cream pie one is, yeah, my my fiance and I have been trying them one by one. And so far, the feedback is oatmeal cream pie takes it. It's so good. They're at the grocery store. My mind is blown all of a sudden because I also remember in the oatmeal cream pie, when they find a cookie on the ground in the movie and they're like, let's go fucking crazy. I was like, goals, dude. I got can you imagine being a kid on set and being like, OK, now just dive into this giant whipped cream wall and go ham. Yeah, I was just truly stunned. It is amazing how many like set pieces they do with the kids and how like how well they do like the scariest thing you can imagine. And then the coolest thing you can imagine back to back to back to back. It's so cool. Well, they make the scary things cool, too. You know, it's like, yeah, it's all so cool. To me as an eight year old, I was like, this is my dream. I'm going to wrap it up. Well, this especially this part reminded me of there's a Matt Damon movie. And I just had to look up what it was called because I forget and I've never seen it. But a 2017 movie called Downsizing. And I think the premise of this movie is that in order to make resources such as food go farther and last longer, people can opt to downsize themselves, shrink themselves so that the cost of living is much less. Because when you're tiny, an oatmeal cream pie cookie is enormous and that could last you years. Yeah, if you figure out how to protect it from ants. Right, right. And so I was like, huh, maybe there is something to this. Maybe we need to all shrink in order to get the most out of our resources, which we are wasting and exploiting by and large. Anyway, I don't think that this movie is really operating on that level. No, no, it would be wild if it were, though. I think it's presenting a counterpoint, which is let's just all invest in little debbies that last forever. Even if it's a flake, a chunk of little debbies in the grass, you can still eat it and it's fresh as day one. I will say it did get me. I was hungry for one the same way that every time I watch E.T. I'm like, you know what, I could go for some Reese's Pieces right now. 100%. Like there's that shit works on me. It does. It does. If one of my little treats appears in a movie, I'm like pause. I have to go. I have to go. Yes. And that's on my eating disorder. But that's why we watch movies at home so we can pause, fulfill the product placement 30 full years later and then return. Make a Vaughn's Instacart order for little debbies. Which is probably the only store that has that. Yeah. Oh, well, that's where that is where you get the the ice cream. I can say for sure. Yeah. And then the Instacart employee is like, someone's watching Honey, I shrunk the kids again. Oh, the Honey, I shrunk the kids special. That in Cheerios. Cause oh, that's the other product placement Cheerios. Yeah. Anyway, so yes, the the cookie has attracted an aunt, but it's a nice aunt and the kids befriend it. I think Ron names it either Andy or Auntie. I think they were calling it both things. I couldn't get a handle on its name. There's a lot of ADR with the kids, but in their defense, they were soaking wet children. Yep. They probably had hypothermia the whole shoot. Yeah. Um, anyway, so they ride the aunt part of the way back to the house cause they're like, wow, aunts are fast and strong and we can take advantage of that. Meanwhile, Wayne confesses to his wife, Diane, that honey, I shrunk the kids and she faints because women be fainting, but she regains consciousness and then starts helping Wayne scour the yard for the kids. But it has gotten dark outside and searching for them is much harder. The kids use a cigarette that Russell senior has flicked into the yard to light some torches so that they can see where they're going. Then Wayne gets to work on repairing the shrinking machine so that he can return the children to their normal size. If they ever find them, he has a moment where he's like, oh, this is all my fault. I was so focused on my machine that I forgot to be a father. And Diane is like, well, it doesn't matter what our jobs are. We just have to get this family back together. We'll get into that. Cause this is like, I think a variation on arriving at this conclusion that I haven't seen where he does apologize, but she's like, no, no. Don't worry about it. Yeah. And you're like, because I was fully expecting the classic, which is no acknowledgement of fault and no apology, but he does acknowledge fault. And she's like, whatever, we'll circle back to that, which would have made sense for me if she was like, we need to focus on. Unshrinking the kids, but that's not what she says. We need to focus on not getting divorced. And like that scene, I don't know what time it's supposed to take place at, but it feels like seven thirty. I'm like, keep looking, you guys. Yeah, they are truly just taking their sweet fucking time. I mean, at one point Rick Moranis like falls asleep. He's just like, I'm so exhausted from looking that I just I have to take a nap at my computer and it's like, wake up, bitch. That scene is so funny because then she walks upstairs, looks at her husband who has fallen asleep after three minutes of searching and she says, I love you. And you're like, what? She goes, I love you, Wayne Zelinski. Maybe you deserve each other. I don't know. I would be like, get your fucking ass up. Are you serious right now? You have time to nap. You. Yeah, I would have. I mean, that's maybe where the baseball bat comes in. I just like get up. Guys, be napping, men being. Be taking a little rest. Be napping on the job. Anyway, so the parents also tell the neighbor parents about the shrinking machine. But Russell is like, I don't believe you, you weirdo. Back in the yard, the kids set up camp in one of Nick's discarded Legos. And this is when Amy and Russ, they're really vibing. And then they kiss on the lips. But they're interrupted when a giant scorpion shows up and starts terrorizing them. But Ron's aunt friend, Auntie or Andy, whatever its name is, helps them fight off the scorpion. But it gets injured and passes away. It's so sad. I was really struck by how sad I was. I mean, the war between the scorpion and the aunt was so epic because I think you're dealing with close up. Here's what I know. They definitely used like a bull riding machine with an aunt paper machete, some kind of aunt. OK, yeah, attached to it. OK, so we know that that is the thing. And then the scorpion is never IRL. Like it's never like a practical effect. The scorpion is sort of a slimy looking. Did you either of you ever watch the old like 1960s or 70s clash of the Titans? No, with like claymation, odyssey care, like beasts and stuff. Like the Kraken is really cool. It's like stop motion. Yeah, which is what the scorpion is. It's like a stop motion, large, slimy looking model. And to me, it looked like clash of the Titans, old claymation, stop motion clash of the Titans. And I was like, this is such a stupid, bad mix of effects. Practical CG, stop motion. It's like they are using green screens. They're literally throwing every tech, both old and new at this movie at the same time and trying to make it work. And I want to say like 50 percent of it looks like the kids are just tromping back and forth through a giant hanger like stage 11 on the Warner lot. You know, it's like, yeah, it's giving a hanger, decorated hanger. Yeah. And I learned in that in the fight between the scorpion and the ant. I went straight to the IMDB into the art department and learned that the art department person who like was the head of the art department also worked on critters. Interesting. OK. What a wild movie that one is. Wild, so weird. Another eighties classic, but very weird. And it's called critters. And I was like, of course, they got the critters person for all these critters. Obviously. This does feel like a lot of like, especially now knowing what Joe Johnston's background was and that this was his first movie he directed. You're like, oh, he's very much like both playing to his strength. And also it just seems like he's taking advantage of having a budget to be like, yeah, big ant. 100 percent. What do we think about big ant? Yeah. Yeah. But no, the the visual dissonance between all the different types of effects in this sequence is really kind of disturbing. Yeah. Yeah. And also disturbing is the ant dying. And if that wasn't enough the next morning, this neighborhood kid named Tommy comes over to mow the Salinsky's lawn, which means that the kids might get mangled in the lawnmower. Terrifying. It's so scary. They almost do get mangled, but they somehow managed to avoid it. And then Wayne and Diane run out of the house to stop Tommy from mowing the lawn, the rest of the lawn. They've like awoken from their nightly slumber, their peaceful sleep. They've got the full 12 hours. So wild. Yeah. They got all their rim cycles up. She went to yoga like they've had a full day. And then they spend two more seconds searching for the kids. They don't find them. So then Wayne goes inside to have his casual Cheerios breakfast. But luckily the family dog named Cork approaches the kids and he's sniffing around. And so the kids all grab onto his fur and hitch a ride into the house. Cork jumps up on the table where Wayne is eating his casual Cheerio breakfast. And then Nick falls into the bowl of Cheerios, which of course Wayne does not notice because Nick is so small and he almost eats Nick several times until he finally notices all of the kids. And then again, his reaction is just like, wow, I found the kids, honey. That's pretty cool. Honey, I found the kids. And she's like, wow. Wow. Nice. Awesome. Good job. Interesting. Yes. And so Wayne goes up to the attic, turns on the machine, but he can't get it to work again, but with the help of the kids and especially Nick, because Nick has figured out that the baseball is a key component for this machine to work. How I don't have any fucking idea, but the baseball is necessary. They get the machine to work. They test it on Russell Sr. And then they enlarge all the kids to their regular size, even though there's like a very like inserted, weird, like last minute obstacle where we're supposed to think the neighbor is brave or something. And he's like, no, I'll do it. And you're like, oh, yeah, yes. That's not what this character would do. No. No. Like I was an asshole. Yeah. Like there was nothing to suggest that he would have changed that way. I also think that like, I don't know. I like, I think that he that Rick Moranis would be like in custody if the neighbor had it. Like he's taking the first opportunity possible to be like, get this guy out. But no, instead he goes on a journey of the soul. Yeah. Off screen comes back courageous. Yes. He's like, you know what? Actually, I'm not a weird asshole. I love my life. I love my wife and I do kind of love my kids. So you know what? Shrink me, Rick Moranis. Shrink me. I know. I know that statistically I'm about to blow up, but yeah, all good. But I'm brave and I've learned that my son doesn't need to play football in order for me to love him. Right. And I've learned this off screen. Yes. And so the parents reunite with and embrace their kids. And then the two sets of neighbors become best friends. And the movie ends with them eating a giant turkey together because apparently Wayne uses his machine to enlarge food. So there's more to go around. And then the final beat is Nick finally understanding what French kissing is. What are they eating? I think it's a turkey. OK, for a second, I thought it was an ant and I was like, that is ghoulish because it looks this the skin of the same looks like the skin of the turkey and the skin and also the skin of the scorpion. It all looks like shiny like window leathery meat. So I wasn't being like out of my because I was like, it looks like they're eating an ant. And I was like, runs right there. He's his best friend. And they're like, yeah, this is good, Ron. Yum, yum. And or Andy tastes so yummy. Yeah. Meanwhile, Ron is like so traumatized. He's in like therapy three times a week. He is a vegan now. He like can't handle going to school. Yeah. His whole life has completely changed. He's unraveled. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, oh, great. Now our parents are friends. I'm never going to forget about this as long as I live. Anyway, that's the movie. 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Make it bloom with British Garden Centers. And we're back. I mean, I for one was not able to contain myself for much of the much of the recap. There's a lot of tables that we've done already. But I mean, this movie is was a lot of what I expected and some of what I didn't. Like we have like mom.jpg and teen daughter.jpg here. All the women that we see or have like any narrative meaning to the plot are white blonde women who are if they're adult women, pretty deferential to their husbands, even if they get a sassy one liner in here and there. But there were moments where I was like, oh, that could be something. And then it just doesn't turn into something. For example, it seems like Diane, who we learn what her job is. She's a real estate agent, which it does seem like she is like the breadwinner of the family. It does seem like that, right? Yeah, she's holding everything together. Diane, without Diane, this family is in shambles, truly suffering. Yes. Yes. I mean, she leaves for it seems like 12 hours and the house is a disaster. Yes. The way domestic labor exists in this household, in this world. So like you were saying, Jamie, there's a lot of what you would expect from this movie. There's a lot of like very traditional gender roles present here. There are slight subversions here or there. But for the most part, it is like men equals this, women equals this. And we see this in the way domestic labor is distributed and done where, again, Wayne stays home. He seems to have lost his job or quit it or something. But he the work that he is doing is building this machine in the attic while his wife, Diane, goes out into the world and works there. And you might think that because Wayne is home, he would be doing some of the domestic labor. But that does not happen. He has his daughter clean the house. She also cooks breakfast. He also delegates mowing the lawn to his son, Nick. So again, there's very like gendered lawn work and landscaping and that kind of stuff. Outside work is for boys and inside work like cleaning and cooking is for girls. Yeah. Also, Nick doesn't even mow the lawn. He delegates it to some other kid and not that anyone would have to do anything anyway, because the lawn mower is remote controlled. So basically Nick does no chores. Nothing. Meanwhile, Amy is cooking. She's cleaning. She's not doing. Yeah. Because when we cut to the house, I mean, we see her dancing, which I thought was like a kind of direct rip off of that sequence from Adventures in babysitting. Oh, I was also getting a lot of don't tell mom, the babysitter's dad. But yes. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yeah. This is a very 80s thing for a blonde teenager to be doing. But, you know, even though, you know, she she plays hard and she works hard because cut to the house, it is clean. She has executed the task because by the time the mom gets home, I think she even like comments on, oh, wow. No, it's the opposite. Because it got dirty again. Oh, because the daughter left the house for a second. Yeah. She got drunk. She got she got shrunk and and she didn't do her duties before she got shrunk. So it was a fucking mess and the mom comes home and he's like, Oh, you know, Amy was supposed to finish the housework and the mom looks around like, great. Nothing's fucking finished. My mental load is at capacity. I should be spending the afternoon celebrating that I just sold a house. But instead, I have to deal with this man's bullshit who let our kids go missing and nobody knows how to clean this place. No. But Nick does vacuum the yard. He doesn't mow the lawn, but he he does have this like handheld vacuum. It's an invention, Caitlin. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Boy and stem. No, the default setting. This this movie is so ripe for the classic Rube Goldberg breakfast machine. Oh, yeah. We see in so many movies. Oh, this is not here. I was so ready for it. I know. I was so ready for it. Because he's like faxing the children from the attic. Yes. Yeah. Like I was I was like, well, is this a breakfast machine? We haven't covered, but it but it isn't. It's he's still it's like at this point, it's almost sadistic that he's making his daughter who doesn't know how to cook. Burns everything to a crisp. And then they make fun of her for not knowing how to cook. And you're you're like, this is a twisted there. I think that like, honestly, with with the women in this movie, it's there's pretty like rigid gender dynamics set up. But it's more like the non reactions to things that are weird to me, yeah, especially on Diane's end, but also on like, it feels like the gender performance or like fitting the role is more important than what's happening in the plot. Because even after they get drunk, Amy is just like, I have to get to the mall to see my boyfriend. And you're like, yeah, you're going to die. You're going to die. Your dad's going to step on you and you're going to die. Her big goal in life is to get asked to the dance. And that's all she fucking cares about. And it's like, girl, your life is in peril. The stakes, you're going to get stepped on by your father's crutch. Which would hurt worse than a foot. I'm sure. Yeah. At least with a foot, you have ridges. You can die in the ridge. The crutch is going straight. It's like when a cat steps on your boob. Yes. Oh my God. Yes. Yes. Well, I could feel that. I felt that. Yeah, it's I don't know. It's it's very weird what she doesn't react to. And we'll get to like where she ends up because it just feels like another very sort of 80s. Like the popular girl should be dating the dork who who is. Leers of her. Inspires. Yeah. Oh my God. Remember the point when they're in the Lego and they're about to kiss and he goes. She goes, why haven't you ever come over and say, said she says to the neighbor Russ, right? Yeah. She goes, why haven't you ever come over before? Like stopped over and he's like, I don't know. You just seem like you're too popular to notice me. And she goes, I am too popular. And I I can't believe I haven't noticed you. And then they go in for a kiss. She like admits she's like, it's true. I do think I'm too good for you. I am so popular. Anyway, want to make out. But then she nags herself. She says, I was too popular to notice. I was stupid. I was stupid. And then she kisses him. And you're like, no, you weren't, Amy, you're you're being forced. You're you're doing a lot of labor, you know, like I just wish that I knew a single interest of yours. But other than that, you're doing great girl. Girl, you're a lesbian. We are. It's giving lesbian, Amy. Kiss a girl. I would love. And then, of course, I mean, this movie, weirdly. OK, so this is one of the things where I'm like, I don't really understand what's going on here, because as we talk about on the back to the cast constantly, 90 percent of movies are about fathers and sons. Some are good. Some are not. This movie is about fathers and sons, but I feel like it's more like the neighbor about the neighbor and his eldest son than it is about Rick Moranis and his kid. Like there is a like, oh, he's also interested in science. But like there's not really a tension between it. See, like the tension is very much between Max Headroom and his son, which just feels weird. You're like, who is the protagonist of this movie? Well, the movie does start to try to set up something between Wayne and his son, Nick, where Nick comes upstairs. He's like, look, dad, I made a miniature replica of your machine. Want to help me with it or want to play or do. And Wayne is like, no, I'm too busy shrinking, building a machine that's going to commit war crimes, probably. So go away. And Nick hangs his head. Oh, OK. See you later, dad. And that seems like it's setting up that classic, you know, the Santa Claus dynamic where the dad is too busy for the son. And the dad has to realize he needs to do something to reconnect with his kids and be there and be present, blah, blah, blah. Well, and by his kids, we do mean his son, his son specifically. Right. Exactly. While his daughter cleans the house. Yeah. But then that gets dropped and that arc that they're trying to set up goes nowhere. I'm wondering how much it was rewritten because you're just like, yeah, that was set up and then never paid off. What is for sure as this movie is not about mothers and daughters? Because the it is. I mean, you get again, there is some like, I think if you really wanted to go to bat for this movie, you could maybe say there's barely passes when they greet each other on the phone. But it immediately the subject immediately switches to so you're meeting your boyfriend at the mall today, right? And she's like, yeah, he'll be invites me to the dance. The only other conversation they have is at the end where she's like, so you're not divorcing dad, right? And she's like, nope, everything is fine. And then there's a third. They're not talking, but I this is the line I was really excited to get to where Diane, they're going to bed right after sundown, even though the children are shrunk and there's like, there could be coyotes in this neighborhood. But let's not think about there's scorpions. There's there's other dangerous. Let's not think about what could happen at night. We need to get our beauty rest, right? They talk like she's just had this conversation with Rick Moranis where she's like, we don't need to focus on you apologizing for the horrific thing you've done. We need to focus on not getting divorced. And then the last thing she says as a button to the scene is weirdly slutshaving towards her daughter. She's like, what I'm mostly worried about is Amy and that boy next door in the dark, they better not do anything. They better behave. They better behave. She was like, so I'm like, look for her. Oh my God. She slutshams her daughter and then sleeps, goes to bed for 10 hours. Was this what the 80s was like? Yes. A million times. Yes. I was just looking at Amy's IMDB. Her name is Amy, Amy O'Neill. Because I'm like, also when I was watching last night, I was like, I remember being really attracted to Amy, like as a character and as an actor. Like I remember as a girl watching her and being like, she is so cool and beautiful, like nobody sees her. And then also like also being like, this lady is a great actor. Like I hope she, like even in my eight year old mind, I was like, I hope she has a career ahead of her. She slays. But it was like, I remember as a kid being like, she's going to be the boss bit. She's obviously like an outdoorsy. She's dressed like she's in Jurassic Park. Like this chick is going to take us all the way. But she isn't really, she is kind of like the leader of the pack, like the babysitter, but it doesn't really go further than that. Like she isn't actually the powerhouse hero of the kid group. Like it ends up being fucking kind of Russ Jr. Even though he's a douchebag who literally says and does nothing. He saves her life. It's like, no, she would be the one who had to save everybody's ass in this situation. Not a single one of these dorks would know what to do. No, but okay. Can we talk about the scene where she has to be saved because there's so much to unpack here. So it's already established that Russ has a crush on Amy. We see him leering at her through the window. He tells her about it then and she's visibly weirded out like, oh, you could see me. You were watching me dancing and he's like, I don't know. Shut up. Then the kids get drunk. They're going around together, blah, blah, blah. This stuff happens. Then the raindrops or the spring, the water from the sprinkler starts raining down on them. Amy, she is knocked unconscious. Question mark. Suddenly she's unconscious and has fallen into a puddle. She doesn't know how to swim. Doesn't know how to swim. Why is she unconscious? What even happened there? I was getting that idea of like women and girls are so delicate and fragile. They're always fainting and passing out. Yeah. But she is now drowning. Russ jumps into the very viscous water, pulls her out. She's still unconscious. He gives her mouth to mouth, which revives her and now she's fine, which like great if someone needs the life saving technique that is CPR, you should administer it to them. But it's played. It's plot CPR. And it's played as he didn't do that because he was actually really trying to save her life. He did that because he wanted to kiss her parentheses while she was unconscious. And that's the whole running joke through the rest of the movie, where it's like he Frenched her. Ha, ha, ha. And you're like, I certainly hope he didn't use tongue during CPR. Right. Praying. But also when they do eventually kiss, consensually, are they using tongue? They are for sure. I was like, Disney, whoa. And I now I remember why I was like so horned up about that one stupid kiss. I was just like, no, they're fully they're kissing like middle schoolers who have never kissed in their life. There is no passion. It is simply mechanics because they are having to they're having these children. French kiss. Correct. They're having the children French and we don't have to feel good about it. We don't. These they were all kids when this was. I was like, is there any chance that like one of them is secretly 20, but they were all in fact kids when this was filmed? I don't know that it would go down like this now. But but there it is plot CPR, plot French. I agree. I think the Amy performance is like really like I just wish she had like more to her. But it's the movie maybe to no one's surprise is written by two men, you know, pushing 40. So I don't think they really had any insight on a girl of this age or no insight and perhaps no interest. We don't know. Right. Well, they're like, what do teen girls like? What do they do? They like the mall. They like talking on the phone. They like their crushes on their on boys and nothing else. And it's the 80s. So they're like, we have to make her realize that again, it just feels like in these kinds of stories, it's such creepy adult male writer. Totally projection where it's just like, oh, she should have ended up with me. I'm like, no, she shouldn't have. You dork. I feel bad for whoever ended up with you. I'm that crazy ass mullet. The way that they're skating on Russ Jr.'s like smoldering sort of mystery boy. I I wasn't fooled when I was a kid. And I said to to this day, I remember thinking, first of all, she is like 10 years older than him. She's got to be. He he looks like a child. And she looks like kind of a young woman. And she also is miles beyond him intellectually. So this is this is not a good match at all. And also I say it again, Amy, the character is gay. And the way that they cast and they dressed her, I love your inner lore. I mean, she is where I she's wearing a lot of high waisted beige. It's giving hipsters in Bushwick, all of their costumes were hipster, Bushwick, early days, Brooklyn gentrification and kind of Catherine Hepburni, too. Yeah, I was like, yeah, she's like she put her in Jurassic Park. She is like a young. She looks like a young Dr. Sattler. She does. But she's also wearing like kind of a chunky watch. She's a she's a scientist's daughter. If anybody knows women of any kind, just the smallest hint of science into our lives as young people, we are we're we're rabbit holeing the fuck out of science. Yeah, young girls were going in. But despite her dad being a scientist and despite her younger brother taking an interest in science, Amy has no interest in science. She has no knowledge, nothing she's picked up from school or her dad or anything. She can't even cook a piece of toast. Nope. And at very least because I was struggling with that word, it's like she doesn't have an interest, I guess also her love interest doesn't have an interest. And so this couple is maybe just not very interesting or interested. No. Well, but and I also thought it was not pointed. But like maybe, maybe go on this journey with me in these kinds of movies where the dad has a kooky like job or passion. If his wife does have a job, it is not a job that requires the same focus and passion. Like she has been written as a realtor. And if you're a passionate realtor, that's none of my business. But like a job that isn't quite as like all consuming and creative. Right. As what the husband is doing. And I don't know what that is. And I was like, I would I think that it would make, you know, Diane's character a lot more of a character if she was also doing something that she cared about and was expected to take care of the entire family. But and she is clearly working hard and is successful at what she does. But it makes it feel like there's only room for like one passionate person in a marriage. And I don't love that. And I also don't love that it's given to the given to the man, Rick Moranis, because I'm like, always. Yeah, sure that that's the dynamic. Are you sure? Right. I will say there is something like inside of me that really is activated every time the most subversive thing about this movie is the first time you see the parents together and she's taller. And I'm like, oh, oh, my God. Representation matters. I love seeing Rick Moranis with a tall wife. It's awesome. Of course. Well, your fantasy. It's true. I want to be his tall wife. But it is always and this kind of goes back to the the point you were making earlier, Jamie, as far as like movies about a man's special interest that is ruining his family because it's always the man's job or hobby or project or whatever that is the thing that is crucial to the plot versus whatever the wife slash mother's job. If she is even given a job that we know what it is, it has no bearing on the story whatsoever, usually. And especially in this movie, we do know what she does, but it could have been anything. It doesn't matter what her job is and not that like a person's job defines them, of course. But when it's always a man's work is seen as more important, it is the thing that impacts the plot. It is the thing that is like basically the narrative thrust of the entire movie. You know, not great. Not great. You don't love that. And meanwhile, both moms, Mae and Diane, are seen in two different scenes putting away groceries. Because that's the limit of this movie's imagination of what adult women would be doing at any given moment. Well, generally, while advising their husband, while putting their husband at ease, Mae, especially, she is an interesting character because I feel like they do a few girlboss feminism moments, but it always happens behind closed doors where a lot of it is like she's deescalating her husband's anger towards her son. So she's protecting her children from her husband's anger at many points. But it's made to seem like cute. And like, this is our relationship, haha, where at one point she's like, you know, lightly necks him where he's like rubbing at his head because he got bonked because he's the neighbor. And she's like, don't, you know, you only got so many brain cells up there, honey, you got to be careful. And it seems like he's less hostile to her than he is to their children. But she spends a lot of time having to deescalate his anger towards the kids, towards the cops, which I guess gains a linsky and all the noise that he's making towards the cops is more warranted because why aren't they looking for the children? But it's because the cops don't do do anything. Yeah. Also, the way that the movie opens up, I'm sort of like, wait, as an adult, I'm watching it thinking, is this a movie about domestic violence and neglect? It's kind of like the neighbor dad seems like he's unhinged. He's like a Jim Carrey sort of. It's like, yeah, it's like what I imagine Jim Carrey is like IRL, like not in character. He's like sort of a Jim Carrey ripoff. I had the same thought. He's very big and clownish, but also like un fucking hinged. This man is not a good father. He is should not be around children. He certainly should not have attracted a wife. And I feel for her. I know. I'm like this poor woman. She is in an abusive situation. Get her out of there right now and those children as well. But it's framed as a joke. And all of these boys are going to grow up to be Magga. Yes. Oh my God. The boys, they're especially. Ron. Ron. I mean, maybe it maybe if the aunt had pulled through, it would be it'd be a different story. But but as as things stand, I think he's I think he's he's pretty squarely going to be 100 percent fascist. Yes. Also also Rick Moranis's son. Yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. He's going to be grow up to be Mark Zuckerberg or something. Because also Rick Moranis's character is clearly being funded by Mark Andreessen and is building a war machine that is going to be turned into AI someday. I don't know. It all goes so deep. Yeah. Down to like even there are little interactions between the neighbor parents that is supposed to, I think, be like funny and affectionate, but are reads very dark where there's another time where she's saying something. I think this is in the scene where they're talking to the cops about the kids being missing. And she says something and he says, no, no, no, no, no. And then he says the same thing. And the joke is that he says what she just said and takes credit for it and she puts up with it. And that's so funny. And I'm laughing. Yeah. The two of them are confronting the Salinsky's. May says, how did this happen? How did you shrink our kids and Russell's like, I'll handle this, May. How did this happen? Right. Every time we see them on screen together, she's always, yeah, like you said, trying to de-escalate. She's always like, I'll give the guy a break, honey. I'll give your son a chance, honey. Oh, lighten up. But it is a fairly bizarre dynamic. I mean, obviously they're both like caricatures of. Sure. People, but like the dynamic is very bizarre and unsettling. And then you have Russell being obsessed with his son, Russ, Jr. being into fishing and being into football and making him lift weights. Being super masculine. Exactly. And no offense to this actor, no offense to Max Headroom, but it felt weird because I was like, this is not the guy you cast as like Jock father. Like he's too weird. You know, whatever. But like just the character choices being made. Like I'm like, I don't believe this guy was a quarterback. He like, like it's, it feels like the character must have changed a lot because what we see visually and then when we randomly see Kimmy Robertson from Twin Peaks, you're like, well, that's fun. It's mostly her getting yelled at and disbelieved. Oh my God. But is this the. Always nice to see her. Dawn and Gloria appearance. Dawn also so I was like, this movie needed me. I could have helped. The fact that there's a character named Dawn and a character named Ron. I'm like, come on guys, come on. Second draft. Someone has to have eyes on this. No, but back to the, I mean, there could have been something interesting about if a father is pressuring his son with taking an interest in these traditionally masculine activities, there's an opportunity for that to be examined. And we do see Russ Jr. push back on that and say, those are your interests, dad, not mine. But as we've already talked about the movie squanders this opportunity to be like, no, I don't, I, I like reading or I like science or I like, I don't know what I like. Well, what do you like son? I don't know. I don't know. I'll let you know. He says like, he says it all like smart me too. In this weird way where he's like, I'll let you, I'll update you when I know what my character is. And you're like, yeah, let us know too. We'd love to know what the hell's going on with you. You couldn't just invent one thing that he's into. Yeah. Comic books. I don't know anything. What would be great is if it was like, I just want to be a lifeguard and then it justifies him saving Amy. Oh, right. Yes. Yeah. I also didn't think, I mean, I guess that like Nick's interest in science becomes plot relevant a few times, but not as much as you would think. He figures out that they're three miles away. I appreciated the detail, indoor continuity error that his calculator also struck. Shrunk because he's able to use it. I thought that was really cute. It's like every, I guess everything that's on you is also shrunk. So I'm down for that. Science works on whatever. Good thing he kept that calculator on him or that would have been an issue. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it's so exciting to watch the kid. And I'm sure like if you're a kid, especially, it's so exciting to watch the kids survive all of these travails that you don't really think about. The fact that the ways that they're active are not really grounded in what the characters are. It just sort of is like what the plot requires. And that involves, like we talked about, a lot of damseling of Amy. Really the most active Amy gets in these situations are, there is one point where she's like assisting in wrangling the future dead aunt, but it's basically against her will. And that presents like Ron the opportunity to be like, she's pretty good for a girl, of course. And then Nick says, oh yeah, for a girl, of course. I was like, you agree? What? Yeah, that's their friendship. The moment that their friendship is solidified is just being like, girls, fucking suck. I was like, yeah. And then, I mean, earlier in the movie, Ron is being like, we need to get back home because I want to go fishing. And Russ is like, no, we should go to the Salinsky's house because they have a machine that will fix us per Amy's suggestion. She's like, no, like my dad can fix this, right, Nick? And Ron is like, what are you going to let a girl tell you what to do? Someone's got to make a decision here. Yeah. And it's like, that is technically a win for Amy, but it's such a small win. And Russ doesn't even push back on that. He's not even like, yeah, we should listen to to Amy. She made a good point. Because obviously she's the only one in this group of four who can get us through this. It's clear as day. Right. Yeah. And then Russ just responds with something like, you know, you'll do his eyes today when we're down here, younger brother, like weird dynamic. But yeah, this is all kind of, I guess, setting up Ron's arc, which is that he hates girls and doesn't respect them at first. But after traversing through the yard, he comes to respect one girl exactly. It's just your casual 1980s sexism. It's very, you know, it's sort of launching us into the early 90s where we have Alanis Morrisette coming out and saying, no. No more. No more. And she fixed it. She fixed it. And here we are. Wow, good for her. Yeah, it is interesting. It's like this, this movie is doing some like it's doing stuff we've talked about before in slightly different ways, but it's like very clear the playbook they're pulling from. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And then realizing that it's kind of just a bunch of like horror 1980s, like the horror writers, directors that are like, you know, they're not really grappling with giant content. This is mostly a movie about the effects and what they can do with a green screen and this new technology that they're kind of playing around with. The characters, who cares? They're sort of ancillary to the players. As long as we can rig them to a gigantic broom and sort of whisk them around in all of these different cool, like stunt ways, it doesn't. We don't care. Yeah. And that does seem to be Joe Johnston's whole deal. He's like, let's get the stunt. Let's get the, because he goes on to do, well, he did one of my favorite childhood movies, The Page Master. I loved The Page Master. I've never seen it. Yes. One of my favorite VHSs growing up. That's a deep cut. That is my McCullochan movie. Yes. Oh my god. It's really fun and it teaches you three genres of book, but he did The Page Master, he did Jumanji. Like he did, you know, I think that like it seems like with his movies, it really depends on like the quality of the script because that's not why he's there. No. He's there for Giant Ant. He's there for Jumanji Stunts. He randomly did Direct October Sky, which is not a big stunt movie, but then he did Jurassic Park 3, he did Captain America, The First Avenger. Like he does big, gigantic movies. And if the script is good, the movie is good. And if the script isn't good, then there will be a gigantic insect, but that's about all you can be guaranteed. Yeah. And I do feel like, you know, the scripts weren't, the movies of the 1980s, especially the children's movies, they were inspiring to me as a child, as a young entertainer wanting to get into the industry. I thought, well, I could do that. Yeah. I mean, script wise, I was like, oh, oh, that's all you have to do. Great. Sign me up. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. It's true. Yeah. I mean, I enjoyed the movie. I'll say it. It's like, for the Bechtel cast, it was never going to fare well. No. But on the Rumpo meter, I'd say a 10 out of 10. It's also 90 minutes long. It's so, it's such a nice length. It's nice. It's such a nice length. And it almost felt a little too long, in my opinion. I was like, you can do it. Well, because almost every obstacle- One too many obstacles in the yard, maybe. And they're way too insect oriented, or what a buzz. It's clear that Joe Johnson's like, how many big insects will you buy me? And that's how many big insects will be in the movie. Yeah. They needed some diversity in the types of obstacles that they encounter. So eco diversity. I thought that like a nighttime travail would, I mean, that might have been just really hard and expensive to shoot, but I wanted a coyote in the yard, you know? Like, I mean, or what else could happen at night? I think there just needs to be something besides wildlife that they run into. Like, surely it's just like a bunch of different types of- I want to run into like a fairy. I want to, I want to learn, well, that's a totally different movie. I like that this movie, in this movie, magic is not real. Magic is not real, but the kids are shrunk. Yeah. Yes. Beautiful. Because science did the magic, not magic did the magic. Yeah. It was the opposite of magic. It was science. The science is magic. Yeah. But, well, no, it isn't. And it's kind of magic when you fall into a flower and you get the pollen chunks all over your body and they won't get off. Yes. They're sticky. That was fun. It's magical. It is. Does anyone have anything else they want to talk about? I don't think so. I'm glad this movie isn't called Teeny Weenies. But does it pass the Bechtel test? I think spiritually no. Absolutely not. I'm going, I'm going no. Because there is, there, the other interaction, oh, this, I was going to break this up, was between the two moms, but they are talking about either their husband or their, I mean, technically Amy and their children, but their majority son's children for most of that time. I don't know about you guys, but like there is like an underlying sense of hostility to this one interaction we get between these women that I think is like cut around to make it seem like it's about the baseball through the window. But I just felt like May and Diane were randomly being like a little hostile to each other. Well, because May is like, we haven't seen you around that much. It was like kind of a weird tone. And then in a similarly sort of like defensive tone, Diane is like, well, yeah, I've been working a lot. Yeah. I wonder if there was like a, a snutter scene that like, I don't know, it just felt like a very hostile dynamic to establish and then be like, and that's just kind of what these women are like. And you're like, all right, so we have no women who can be friends. Got it. I do feel like it's sort of, yeah, like the classic neighbors scenario where you just hate your neighbors. Well, the husbands don't like each other and the women are just going to go along with whatever the husband are doing and feeling. Maybe it was that. Yeah. I don't know. That wasn't how my neighborhood worked. It was like, if husbands hated each other, that was not going to interrupt wine mom time. Truly. That's, that's beautiful. Wine mom time exceeded the husband. Yeah. Yeah. I, I mean, this is just very much a byproduct of the culture of the eighties and the sexism and the centering of whiteness that was inherent to that time. And oops, it's still happening. Oops. But yeah, that was all I had to say about the same. So let's see how it fares on the Bechtelkast iconic nipple scale. Five nipples based on how the movie fares with an intersectional feminist lens. Yeah. Zero to five nipples. I'm going to give it a half nipple because there was potential, I guess. That was all, was all squandered. But you know, there was potential in the character of Amy. At least there was one girl who got to like go on the big adventure through the yard. There was potential that could have been explored with Diane being the breadwinner. But again, none of these opportunities are capitalized on. Everything is just very, very status quo, very gendered dynamics across the entire movie. And it's not, it's not doing really anything interesting in that regard. So a half nipple. And I'm going to give it to Auntie the aunt. Oh, RIP. May he or she rest in peace. RIP. I'm also going to do, I think, half a nipple. You know, all of the hallmarks of an 80s family movie are here. It is extremely white. It happens in an upper middle class suburb. There are only blonde women and they are not allowed to be interesting past a very specific point. So sounds like a movie from 1989 to me, but most movies from 1989 counterpoint don't have gigantic ants. And so I did enjoy it. And I also, I feel like if I had seen this movie when I was a kid, I would have been very attached to Amy and like wanted more for her. And yeah, I again, she is now that, now that I see her as little Ellie Sattler, I can't unsee it. And it would have, it would have been so easy and helpful to a weird plot to have her interested to be the older sibling interested in science. It would have helped, but that we could not con, we could conceive of a shrink ray. What we could not conceive of is a young woman with an interest. And so lip laugh, love, half a nipple. I am giving it to, I'm going to give it to Amy. She deserves it. Yeah. Yes. And more. Jenna, how about you? I'm also doing half nipple and I'm giving it to Amy. She was the only one with any kind of feminist potential. I think she grows up, you know, to be a scholar. She gets a PhD at Harvard for physics. She's a paleontologist. I don't know. She does something in the sciences. She's a woman in STEM who has been sort of written to only want to go to the mall, but she's dressing the part. She was cast in that way. This movie is unfortunately was written by men, as was every Disney movie. And I do think that as a, because I was so moved by this film and the making of it, truly just what they wanted us to see, which was the technical aspects of it. You know, I have to give it some credit because it did, it did capture my special effects, loving heart. And, but that's about it. That's about it. I know it. Well, thank you so much for joining us once again. Oh my God, I love being on this pod. We love you so much. Bring us another practical effects. Anything, anything and everything. God, I will, I will. I have so many 80s movies that are in this zeitgeist that are perfect for this podcast. Hell yeah. Thanks for having me. Of course. And tell us where people can find you on social media, find your work, plug anything you want to plug. You can follow me at janaunplugged. I don't really have anything big to plug right now, but I do have my own podcast where two Native American comedians, myself and Brian Bahi give advice to listeners who call in and ask for it. It's called stage-based wisdom. It's so funny. Very dirty and weird. You and Brian are unhinged together. I really loved. So unhinged. So good. And you can find us in all the normal places and by that we mean Instagram and our Patreon, aka Matrion, where for $5 a month you can get two bonus episodes with Katelyn and myself on a theme of ours or your choosing, depending on how well behaved the Patreon masses are being. This, we're in dispute and it was joint debate. It's really fun over there. And there's also a back catalog of over 200 episodes to enjoy. Indeed. And with that, should we all get shrunk? Let's all get randomly untrunk because it turns out there's a reverse button on this thing. Of course. Obviously, yes. All machines have that. Okay, let's do that. Bye. Bye. Bye. The Bechtelcast is a production of iHeart Media, hosted and produced by me, Jamie Loftus. And me, Katelyn Deronte. The podcast is also produced by Sophie Lichterman. And edited by Katelyn Deronte, ever heard of them? That's me. And our logo and merch and all of our artwork, in fact, are designed by Jamie Loftus, ever heard of her? Oh my God. And our theme song, by the way, was composed by Mike Kaplan. With vocals by Katherine Voskrasinski. Iconic and a special thanks to the one and only, Aristotle Acevedo. For more information about the podcast, please visit linktree slash Bechtelcast. No gloss, no filter. Just stories. Spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachow on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. 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