Shutter sales don't come much bigger than the Hillary's Big Shutter Sale. And there are big savings to match, with up to 40% off hundreds have made to measure shutters, all with a 10-year guarantee as standard. Plus, for a limited time only, there's a huge extra 15% off everything. Your Hillary Shutter specialist will take care of the measuring and fitting for a flawless finish. So get window-wise and book your free in-home appointment today at hillaries.co.uk. But hurry, the extra 15% off ends the 1st of June. Conditions apply. And connect with me 24-7 at drlora.com. Joe Anna, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Hey, how can I help? I am calling because I have, my boyfriend and I have been together for just about 10 months, but we've known each other for a few years. And a few years ago, way before I met him, his brother had passed away. His brother is very close in age. And we have a lot of friends in common, but he hadn't really shared with many of them that his brother passed away. And even now, even the folks that know, and myself included, we don't know the story behind that. And I'm calling because we've been together, we're very close, but he's never brought up the story of his brother's passing. And I'm not worried. What worries you the most about that? That he's, like, it seems like it really affected him. That maybe he's, and he doesn't like to talk about his feelings very much, but I'm kind of worried that he's holding on to a pain. Okay, Joanna, Joanna, Joanna, you said something very interesting. This isn't about the brother as much as he doesn't share his feelings with you. Please don't marry a man who cannot communicate his feelings. Please don't do that. Well, no, he does, but there are things that he hopes. Now you're going to change the story because you're 41 dating him for 10 months. You're the one who said it. I repeated it back to you. I do not to marry a man who can't share his feelings because they go to alcoholism or suicide. So that's what you're really worried about. I guess so. I, I, you should share things. I, but I think it takes, well, I know, I know. I think the problem is usually I would be comfortable asking him stuff that he hasn't shared. And he will volunteer those things, but the, the story of his brother's passing, I don't feel comfortable. This is not feelings. This is a factual information he hasn't shared. Okay, talking about factual information he keeps from you and or the fact that he's really not good at communicating his inner world because it's very hard to have a long quality healthy marriage to a person who cannot will not share their inner world and be vulnerable. Does that necessarily mean that because he hasn't shared his, his brother's, how his brother passed that he's not, he's hiding something about his brother. Yeah, which is a separate issue. But you of course go into, oh, he's holding his feelings in for me. No, I don't, I don't, I don't feel like that, but I do want to know if like, if there's a way that I can. You said it. What did I say? That your concern was his holding his feelings in about his brother. Yeah, that's true. That's where girls go so they can fix his feelings. Yeah. Ask him straight out. You've never mentioned why or how your brother died and I'd really like to know because you're not saying anything makes me think there's something wrong. Yeah. That you're hiding. Second thing when we get through that is that you and I are going to talk about the fact that Dr. Laura said not to marry you. I could keep seeing you, pumping you, but not marrying you. While you're not comfortable sharing your inner world. So those are two things I'm good for you to do. Yeah. That's that's good advice. Okay. I was worried that asking him directly like that would be maybe intrusive that it should be better. It would be better for him to bring you got naked and had sex with him. Yes. You've got naked and taken his penis inside your body. That's pretty intimate. Which has no place in a relationship where you can't ask a simple question. You're right. That's why people people say to me they use the word intimacy for intercourse all the time. All the time. Mostly because they don't want to say sex. But intimacy, intimacy, intimacy. You can go to a bar, find some guy and hump his brains out within an hour. That's not intimacy. Inamacy is being feeling courageous enough and trusting enough to share your inner world. That's intimacy. At Tui, we give you more. More outfit choices with 20 kilograms of luggage allowance as standard. More hotels built around what you love like that swim up suite. More race you to the bottom water parks on site. More. Oh, that looks good. Food options from poolside snacks to ala cart dining. Book on app in store or online. New book it to resort it at all and after protected keys and sees apply selected hotels only see website for details. All right, yeah, marriage is built on sex alone. Don't last marriages built with sex, populating the field of open communication and sharing inner worlds and caring about the other persons in a world. That's what keeps the marriage together. Not the sex. It sure nice. It's punctuation. But if you think about all the hours we spend being together and talking as opposed to how long sex takes. Obviously, it's a small percentage of the marriage. Yeah, necessary, but small so that you guys can hump is great. But can you be scared to ask a question? Well, and I think anybody. You said it. Stop saying. And then when I read it back to you, you want to take it back. Stop doing. No, no, I, I, I totally agree with you. I agree with you. I just, I, it's, you're right. I was afraid to answer to ask the question, but I was, I, I was afraid. The other. The piece that was making me afraid wasn't, you know, he, him, but it was that I would be like, that's my family. You know, it's like growing up. You're like, don't ask, but you don't talk about certain things. Don't do that. Like there's, you know, that was then. This is now. And yeah. Don't marry a man you're afraid to ask a question of. Don't. It won't last. Fear cannot be part of a loving commitment. There's no love when there's fear. There's just dependent attachment. Familiarity. But love requires that openness requires air to breathe. Well, thank you so much. It's actually making me feel so much better because I have wanted to ask, but I've, I have been afraid. And, um, yeah, I think you're right. But, you know, that's not a great, that's not a way to, you know, if we're thinking about marriage, that's not a mindset. No. To have, you know, it won't benefit. And don't be afraid to call me either. Okay. You are so helpful. I was so nervous. I'm not calling. I appreciate also that you have a good sense of humor. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Have you been wondering if those red light anti-aging masks really work? Yeah. Not the over the counter ones. Well, I decided to find out. Light Stim sent me their Ellipse device. It's a sleek, lightweight, red light mask. FDA proven to reduce wrinkles across your entire face. I love the way they write that entire face as opposed to spotally along your face. Here's how it works. Light Stim uses patented technology with therapeutic light energy. Penetrates the skin, therefore supporting it from within. Helps smooth fine lines and wrinkles. You can take care of your skin right at home. And frankly, that can save you a lot of money in doctor visits. They're sold. They have sold more than 60,000 devices to whom? To the dermatologist, you pay money to use it on your face. Okay. Cosmetic surgeons, estheticians. So that should tell you this ain't hype. So if you want to try the same kind of technology, you go and to a doctor's office week after week after week and keep paying to treat your wrinkles and slow the signs of aging. Go to lightstim.com. That's lightstim.com. Use the code doctor Laura to save 10%. Again, that's code doctor Laura at lightstim.com. Everybody in your family can use it. Alrighty. My number 1-800-375-2872. I got an email while we were on the air during the break. I got it yesterday. You took a call from a woman whose stepson was mad at his father because the father won't let the boy play travel sports because of his grades. Okay. It's a divorce. Dad screwed around. So there's a divorce. Okay. So the boy was looking for a family connection, which he maybe could find as part of belonging to a team as a parent of children who have played travel sports already. Unless this person is divorced and they got people marrying other people and checking up with other people and doing all of this stuff and not having a lot of contact and wanting to nurture a kid whose family has exploded in his face shrapnel everywhere in his heart. You cannot compare your life or how you're looking at your kids with that boy. And it seemed to me that some of you keep looking for cookie cutter answers. So you'll say, well, last week you spoke to da da da da da. And you gave a completely different answer. And it seemed like the same question. Yes, it may have seemed like the same question. But the context isn't. So in one sense, I would consider it really important that the kid earn it. And I don't know if he has or not with his grades. Some kids are C students. They just are. And that's the best they can do. And that has to be accepted and appreciated and not judged negatively. Some kids are so emotionally damaged by their parents shenanigans of affairs and breaking up and new partners that, yeah, they need a little more space. So context is everything to me. So I'm amused when some of you seem to enjoy the concept of playing gotcha. You said something different before. Damn straight I did because the whole situation was different. Either that or I'd have 10 answers. And somebody could sit here while I'm out walking the beach with my dog. And you'd ask a question and they pressed a button and the answer would come out with no context. Do you prefer that? My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me 5 stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Every time you go to bed with a negative thought, you have to match it up with a positive one. That's your new rule. Dr. Laura, weekdays at 2pm east on SiriusXM Triumph 123 and on the SiriusXM app. At 2E we give you more. More outfit choices with 20 kilograms of luggage allowance as standard. More hotels built around what you love like that swim up suite. More ratio to the bottom, water parks on site. Ooh, that looks good. Food options from poolside snacks to ala cart dining. Book on app, in-store or online. You book it, 2E sort it. At all and up to protected keys and C's apply selected hotels only see website for details. Shutter sales don't come much bigger than the Hillary's big shutter sale. And there are big savings to match with up to 40% off hundreds of made to measure shutters. All with a 10 year guarantee as standard. Plus for a limited time only, there's a huge extra 15% off everything. Your Hillary's shutter specialist will take care of the measuring and fitting for a flawless finish. So get window wise and book your free in-home appointment today at hillarys.co.uk. But hurry, the extra 15% off ends the 1st of June. Conditions apply.
