Romesh Ranganathan loves our cauliflower & spinach curry and fiery margaritas

Looking for a snack that hits all the right notes? Meet Jazz Apples, the perfect harmony of sweet and tangy. Crisp, refreshing and bursting with flavour. Jazz Apples are your go-to for a healthy, delicious treat. Whether you're on the go, packing lunchboxes or jazzing up your favourite recipes, these apples are always in season and always in style. Find Jazz Apples at Waitrose today and taste the crunch that everyone's talking about. Jazz Apples, always refreshing. Selected stores subject to availability. Dish from Waitrose is a Cold Glass production. This podcast may contain some strong language and adult themes. Hello, I'm Nick Grimshaw. And I'm Angela Hartnett. And this is Dish from Waitrose. Welcome. Hi, Ange. Hi, Nick. How are you? I'm good. You're all right? Yeah, very well, thank you. And you? How's your morning? Good. Busy. Lots going on today. We've got a busy day. Smells fantastic in it. hey it's valentine's day this coming saturday what are you doing nothing obviously but i when i found out this was a valentine's day we'll go out together and i'll give you well no i was just interested in what your take angela was no we do do card and neil might buy flowers but we never make a fuss of it neil was in my dream last night that's a bit weird yeah he had some chickens he was showing me his chickens in a garden and one had died and he watched it back on the camera and someone had killed it by throwing a water balloon at it oh god and then he went i need a drink now and he had an outdoor tap and it was wine and that was my dream because sometimes my dreams unpacking my day right and i was like what happened in my day for neil to infiltrate it drinking wine from a garden tap. Yeah. No idea. No idea. We want to talk about our guest in a second, but first, I want to talk about this. These lips. This next to you. Yeah, let's talk about these lips next to you. So this looks almost like a clutch bag. I think that one kind. Thank you. Tell me what we've got here. For those listening to the podcast, Angela has just presented me a plate with some lips on. Yes. Quite surreal. Quite a surreal offering. Yeah. Yeah. So it's these milk chocolate lips from Lulu Guinness that she's done with Waitrose. So you would smash the lips to get into it. Yes. Go do for it. And then see. Oh, go for it. Bloody hell. Oh, there you go. There you go. It's bloody well made, Lulu. But so chocolate, but red. Yeah, like a red, like sort of a, yeah. Shiny, shimmery. Shiny, metallic. Passes the box. Quite big, the box, isn't it? But I suppose it's protective because you don't want it to smash. Yeah. Delicious. It's fair trade as well. We love fair trade. Oh, we love. Would you like any more? Well, I'm trying to be healthy this year. Okay. How's that going? Because after we had our... Don't blame me and drag me into the fact you had a kilo of cheese every day over New Year. Sometimes when I eat excessively, like a full cheese board, I'm like, I do a food podcast. It's research. Today, we've got the wonderful Ramesh Ranganathan to see us on the podcast. Love Ramesh. and truly I feel like we do say this a lot but we have wanted Ramesh on for a really long time we asked him to come on when we went on his Radio 2 show nearly a year ago so he's taken a year he is very busy to be fair he's never off the telly Ramesh is he but I'm happy I think he's really brilliant I really really do everything he does I love his stand up I love his radio show I love him hosting shows he's just actually funny he's very funny very naturally funny And I also do love when comedians do a bit and they've got an act. Yeah. But Ramesh is not that kind of guy, is he? No. And he's in the West End at the moment, but he's here on to promote his tour next year. Yeah, stand-up tour. But a lot to talk about. Yeah, we've got the weekly radio show, The Weakest Link, A League of Their Own, presenting the BAFTAs, stand-up tours. Like you say, he's in the West End, two podcasts. He's been an actor. He probably does not want to be here. He's got kids and family. Yeah. But apparently he's got a bad habit of saying, he can't say no to anything. You know, if you rang him up and said, oh, let's go. Well, he said no for a year. Well, no. Well, should we get Ramesh in now and get on with it? Definitely. Hi, welcome. This is so nice. How are you? What a podcast. This is a brilliant podcast. I'm proper. I'm real proper. You're right? I'm really good. Yeah, yeah. Very good, thank you. How are you guys? You're looking great. Do you think so? Yeah. You do. Thanks, man. You look good. I don't feel like I look great. Your hair's good as well. This is for this play. My kids keep asking when I'm opening the quickie mark. It looks like every Asian man my parents brought home for a party. In the 80s. I love it. With the air cold. I don't know about the Tadis. Are you enjoying it, being on the West End? Yeah, it's good. It's been amazing. I didn't appreciate that it's every night. When you say that to someone, they go, yeah, of course it is. That's what you agreed to do. But you don't appreciate every day. People don't appreciate every day until you're doing every day. You know? And doing the same thing every day. I don't think people get it. People need to say, I do think any job, any situation, kids, family, marriage, whatever. People just say, it's every day. Every day. It is every day, man. We just had Jessie Bookley on the radio. And she was saying when she got married, she really didn't want to say, till death do us part because she was like so long i talked about this in my last tour show about the concept of marriage i want to be crystal clear on this i'm massively in love with my wife and i'm really glad to be married to her yeah but but listen love is love is real and love is great and it's wonderful but i did sort of question the concept of of marriage as a thing because like when you first get married to somebody like you're this these people and then even in a few years you can be totally different people yeah of course so you just have to i don't know if you look at the romantic side is that the fact is love is blind you put up with it don't you you don't mind that there's those that's the whole point yeah that's the whole thing is you go on the journey together yeah and and it's a beautiful journey through all of the different changes and challenges and we have Lisa around the back. She's coming in to tell us about what's up. And in many ways, it makes it more magical, and there's a depth and a layering to it. I'm going to say this down the camera. And love is wonderful. So we have a wonderful guest. We do. The podcast has already started. Let's introduce him, just in case you've not been paying attention, to this very moment. We have a presenter, a writer, an actor, comedian, who says he's yet to do anything in the world of stand-up that he's truly proud of. He's going to promote his new tour. Thank you, Romesh Rangelando, everybody. Thank you, thank you. This is unbelievable. Oh, cheers, Romesh. Cheers, welcome. What have we got here? We have a spicy, alcohol-free margarita, so made with alcohol-free tequila and then like a sugar syrup with cardamom, chili and lime. Really good. I'm a big fan. And this is really good. Oh, yeah, you like that? The little lime twist. Little bit of shush. Yes, please. That's all we're having today. Just that, just nibbling that piece of line. Yeah, I want to talk about this line, Ramesh, because this struck me that you said that you have not done anything in the World of Standard that you're truly proud of. You said that on Des Island Discs with Lauren LeVeux. Yeah, but it's a long record, isn't it? You're trying to find things to say. No, I'm joking, I'm joking. Lauren, give me a headline. Yeah, can we have something that we can clip up? No, I do feel like that. I mean, I sort of think that about everything that I do, is that you're and stand up is the thing that i'm most passionate about like i love it it's the reason i the reason i do anything is because it started from stand up you know that's what i wanted to be when i when i moved into comedy and so i'm really passionate about doing a great show and whenever i do a tour show whatever anybody thinks about it i have worked my ass off to to make this show you know polishing it and getting it to the point and then what happens is is the show comes out and the response is great or whatever you know i've had great response to shows but i just feel like i'm gonna have the feeling of going that is the show that that is a show that when i retire or i'm cancelled like that'll be the that'll be the show that people go that's romish's show you know that's the one that's the one that he did and so if i was to stop now yeah i haven't done the show in my opinion i haven't done the show yeah do you know what i mean so that's how do you feel when you come off stage because again it's like you were saying earlier doing it every night yeah you know maybe not seven days a week but you know there's breaks how do you feel then when you like it's great like you know you're you're trying to i want the audience to be exhausted from laughing that's the aim because i sort of think about as a punter when i used to watch stand-ups i love you know richard prier's like my favorite of all time and i used to watch his shows and i'd feel i'd want him to stop talking because you're aching yeah yeah and and so that's i always thought i want that to be what people's experiences when they come to my shows but then when you start off doing stand-up yeah you're so desperate to make people laugh you will say anything you know you're just desperate to make people laugh you're just like you know you'd be waggling your glasses and like you know and all that because you're just so desperate to make them laugh i mean that's the the job yeah but then as you get more experienced you sort of go well making people laugh is not it's not easy but it's become it becomes easier and so then you go well now i'd like it to be something where i'm standing by the substance of what I'm talking about. Not at the expense of like, I don't want to give, I'm not smart enough to give anybody a lecture, you know, about anything. But when you watch stand-ups that are really funny, there is some, they're letting you into their world and they're showing you the way they think about things. And it's like, there's something you take away from it. Do you know what I mean? But I think that's a good place to be. Yeah. Because I don't think you'd want to, I don't think we'd love you, Ramesh, if you were the type of comedian that was like, I think I'm brilliant. Yeah. I think it's a good place to be if you're a musician or, you know. But it gives you the adrenaline to keep going. You're like David Bowie. Yeah. Ooh, nice. You are. He's like, just change better. That is going to... Because what's happened is, I then panicked about how to respond to that. Because actually, the truth is that I'm not. He's incredible. Yeah. And I'm just churning out some shit. And then if you go, you're like David Bowie, and go, mmm, I know that the comments go, what a wanker. Did you see the way he accepted that comment about one of our greatest artists? Can you believe that? The guy that hosts Weakest Link is like David Bowie. In your own field. Does he really believe that? In your own space. I appreciate that. And need to evolve. Yeah, need to evolve. Okay, thanks. Sorry. That's very sweet of you. Resting on laurels. No, I accept it. I accept it. No, I accept it. You're exactly like him. Exactly the same. Very much so. If people are missing David Bowie, don't worry. You've got him. Where do we get to sleep? He's still around. What was it that made you, you know, when you were younger, think, I could do this? Because, you know, you have a great relationship with your mum, who's, you know, often on Scream here. Would you do shows at home Would you stand up and perform The love language in my house I was just roasting each other My mum would sometimes wheel me out and go do the impression of me darling Do it when I'm trying to find the coffee. Do it, do it. No, this is so good. You should watch this. Do it, darling, do it, do it. So it would be like that. So they'd kind of get me out to do that. I remember, this is a really dark story. I'm ready. When my dad passed away, So my brother, this starts really dark, okay? So my brother found my dad. He had a heart attack in the house and passed away. And my dad found him. And then when I came in, like my dad, my brother called me. I was at a gig and he goes, can you, like, dad's collapsed. So I came into the house and then immediately started crying. And then we found out, you know, he passed away. The next day, we sat around, like, and we'd gone to see my mom and, like, we're all, like, trying to figure out what to do. And my brother was, like, we were really quiet at the table. my brother said to me, Rom, I go, yeah, and he goes, what was that noise you made yesterday, man? And I go, what? He goes, when you, when you saw dad, he goes, you're not embarrassed. He goes, I know you're upset, but he's just like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, It was bad. It was like that meme. You know, that... But I didn't know that I'd make that noise. You know, like it's like in an emergency situation, something happened. But you don't know how brave you are until you're in a situation where you say something. I didn't know that I made that noise. I just love the fact your brother brought it up. Next day. Should we start with, we always like to go through our guests' food likes and dislikes. Should we start with yours, Ramesh? We love that they're written by you. First up, full disclosure, you are famously vegan. When it came to food loves, you start with, I love my mum's aubergine curry, which Angela has tasted. Very good curry. Why did you taste it? She won't leave, man. Why did you do that? I'm there every week around the door. Yeah, what was it? It was the show you do with Rob when you go and do another industry. You're opening a restaurant. So you had me and Tom rounds, and they both made curries. And Tom and I decided which one we liked best. Tom Kerridge. Oh, yes. And we liked Romish's. It was brilliant. Yeah, well, Rob made his in a... He made it in a machine. It was all the big series. And it sort of went, oh, add this now. Yeah. And then dice this. Yeah. And then it dices it for you. What load of shit. We're going to eat in a second, aren't we? We are. Should I go through food likes and dislikes and you get the food ready? Or I'll get the food ready. Yeah, no, I'll go. No, you go. No, I'll go. No, no, off you go. Okay. When it came to food, you love spicy. You have a tragic sweet tooth. You eat a ton of these crisps, the Torres Black Truffle Crisps. They are, they have changed the game. The Black Truffle, but they also do olive oil, right? Yeah. Do they do fried egg? Have I just made that up? Fried egg. I love the taste. I hate the smell. Of the egg ones? Yeah. The egg smell is foul. Whenever I do a TV recording, it's always on the rider for those. I think that's the best crisp. I do feel like an arsehole asking for a black truffle crisp. Do you know when you felt like a tosser for talking about salted caramel? Yeah. That's those? Yeah, now try and get a caramel that's not salted. Exactly. Impossible. Now you feel like a wanker. Actually, I'd love it unsalted. Unsalted. As it comes. Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. I wanted to talk to you about your bakery. yeah in depth as well because you've invested in a in a bakery right i am is it a vegan bakery it's not all vegan but they do loads of vegan stuff but um i got to know that sean coughlin is coughlin's bakeries and i got to know him because his wife is a makeup artist and so i was i was doing like uh eight out of ten cats or something she said to me oh my husband like runs a bakery and he said like if you want to try anything and so i started trying these donuts and they're vegan. And I was like, oh my God, this is incredible. And then eventually I got him to do my wife's birthday cake. He didn't like an Idris Elba birthday cake for Lisa. What, the face of Idris Elba? The face of Idris Elba, yeah. Wow. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's really... It's really nice to do something for your wife that also undermines you as well. Yeah. Did she appreciate it? She loved it. It was horrible. It was disgusting to watch. Yeah. And then we kind of built up a relationship And then he was looking to get some investment or get somebody else involved. And we'd become friends. And I was going there all the time. So I just thought, well, I think you should invest in something that you actually really care about and love. And I really love that stuff. So I just thought I'd get involved. So now I'm like a co-owner of Coughlin's Bakery. And every now and again, I'll go and do a shift at one of the branches. And what are you doing on the shift? I just work the tills and be just a general celebrity. They don't let you make the doughnuts? No. Well, no, they do. No, I have been into the actual main bakery and kind of dipped the yum-yums. Oh, yes. Come on. Although, I'll tell you a weird thing that happened. So we sort of pre-announce, I'm going to be working at whatever, the Oxfade branch. And people had turned up for selfies and stuff like that. And then this woman said, I'm just telling you what she said. She said, do you know that you're the thinking woman's crumpet? And I said, no, I didn't know that. And furthermore, I don't think it's true. and then she said I got your present and she gave me a pair of knickers whoa at the bakery yeah I know that's exactly that's not the weird bit that's weird a pair of knickers yeah were they in an envelope or something no she pulled them out of her pocket whoa wow wow I just arrived in Oxfam wow I reckon three minutes before what time of day are we talking this was like Nick I hate to tell you man it was one in the afternoon one in the afternoon When do you think would be a good time to do that? I don't think there is one. If I'm thinking on a scrumper, give me a Rubik's Cube. What? Why? But the rest of it was fine. The rest of the visit was fine. What did you do with them? What did I do with them? I don't know. I definitely took them home. No, you didn't know. Did you? I'm going to be honest with you. I wasn't expecting full-on questions about what I did. I panicked I felt like a politician on the BBC on Sunday morning it's like shit what did you do with them I think I took them home to like because I wanted to show Lisa what had happened yeah nice to re-gift Valentine's Day we're going to go through the rest of the lives because there was a diversion you also nearly killed yourself eating Lao Ganma crispy chilli oil yeah Yes? Yeah. What the hell happened? Do you guys like that shit at all? I don't know that. Do I? It's like crunchy. It's got like, I think, soybeans and onions fried in it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do. It's wicked. Anyway, somebody said to me, oh, I'd seen some of this stuff is amazing on pretty much everything, right? So I'd started getting into it, and it started to become a bit of a problem. So I was eating it all the time. And then it got to the point where I would happily eat it on its own. Oh, wow. so what would what would happen is i'd get back from like it was like one of the early nights of uh one of the previews of the play and i got back and as a little as a little treat for myself i'd have a tablespoon of the chili all right it's like i can't believe you saw that so it's like a little well done romesh you did well in the play today have some chili so i opened the jar everyone's asleep and i took the um took the tablespoon i'm eating over you know i'm here like this i just quickly shovel it in because i want to minimize being caught doing this yeah it's beyond ick yeah yeah do you know what i mean so he's eating the chili so i shovel it into my mouth and then as i do that it just a little tiny bit of it goes the wrong way and then i just go and i like spray every cupboard oh my god um every cupboard is just completely pebble dash with chili oil and then i start choking or i start really choking and i start panicking and then honestly i think i'm going to i'm going to die and i thought i'm going to die now and then for some reason i started doing circuits of the kit i started trying to walk it off so i started like just doing circuits in the kitchen going, and honestly, I thought I am going to die today. I thought I'm going to die today. But the thing was, I just thought, what is Lisa going to walk into the next morning? My body on the floor, the jar with the spoon there, cupboards. Like, what a horrible way for your husband to die. How did he go? Oh, he was having one of his late night chili or tablespoon treats. What? So food has arrived, but just to finish your dislikes, don't like tempeh. Mate. Tempeh. What is tempeh? Yeah, I'm not right now. Is it just gluten? No, it's like that sort of like, it's often like used as a, if you don't like tofu, it's awful. So no tempeh? No. I like that it's written here, the pronunciation. It says tempeh, not like tiny temper. That's one of his big bugbears. On drinks, you said you stopped drinking because we're having alcohol-free. You said basically you don't drink because when you do drink, you can be, your words, a twat. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I just, like my dad was a big, my dad ran a pub. He's a massive drinker. And he was great. But like, he was like what I would describe as a charming liability. he was really he was really fun in a cameo but being married to him i can't imagine like my mom had a hell of a time do you know what i mean and so but i have got that i feel like i've got that gene in me do you mean we're like about everything you know i will i'm eating chili all yeah yeah on my own yeah yeah you know like i've got that addictive person i'm trying to find something to get addicted to yeah i mean yeah so when it's with drinking especially with comedy you are around booze a lot and you finish a show and everybody's drinking you know the audience drink you do a tv record yeah people are drinking you know so it's around a lot i think being sober gives me just the right level of inhibition and i don't want to lose that i just i i've got so many memories of just being a complete dick i don't know if you we did an episode of robin romish versus and we did robin romish versus heavy metal and we drank with queens of the stone age right and i got obliterated on camera like completely obliterated and i i've just got vague sort of recollections of running around backstage while like raw blood were on and just go yeah rob and i like snobbed on the side of stage right and obviously like production fan great tv yeah it's really funny tv but the next but i went to i was i have a great day yeah i a legend yeah then i went to bed I woke up the next morning and obviously I just got the fear Yeah what happened What did you do So I immediately put on the production WhatsApp, I just said, I'm really sorry. Yeah. If, for my behaviour, if I was out of order last night or whatever, you know, I was sort of really all over the place. It was half an hour before anybody responded. Oh, God. That was the longest half hour. That was the worst half hour of my life. I do think people need to think about what that effect that's having on people. You need to respond to people when they say that. You need to get in quick and go, you were fine. Or there's a police investigation. You just want to know either way. You want to know. Please reply quicker. You start eating ramesh. And then, Ange, please what we have here. So we have a cauliflower and spinach curry. Yes. And we're serving it with loads of little poppadoms. and we've got a lovely array here of some fantastic mango chutney, some lime pickle. I love lime pickle. Fried onions, some lovely, oh God. Writer? Writer, thank you, yeah. So to have with it, and rice. This is so good. Oh, good, I'm glad. Oh, my God. I can't remember this. So Ramesh said that, well, Ramesh, you said that you'd be happily having, you know, chef's choice with what we eat. Yeah. You'd leave it to Angela, which is the way I would do it if I was coming on here as a guest. Oh. Well, because obviously it'd be like, come on Ange knows what's up yeah so what made you go for curry Ange well one obviously Romish is vegan look at me no I'm just I'm sorry Ange what made you go for a curry what made you go curry yeah why did I go curry um seasonality cauliflower yeah yeah lovely absolutely and cauliflower is a great thing when you make a curry because it absorbs all the flavours of all those different spices and everything like that delicious i mean it's so tasty it's the layers of flavor isn't it it's all the stages so you start off with you put your little oil in the pan but curry leaves and cumin seeds toast those off for a couple of minutes add your spinach and then take that out of the pan so in a way you've seasoned the pan and then it's onions garlic coriander stalks and ginger in the pan cook that down till it's softened But a good five, ten minutes, you know, not just quickly in the pan. This is, sorry. That's all right. It's so good. Thank you. I'm really pleased. You haven't smashed this. Oh, thank you. It is wicked. That's very good. And then you add your different spices, your turmeric and gram masala and a bit of tomato puree. And then you add your cauliflower. And then you cook it really quickly, only for about 10, 12 minutes. And once that's cooked, then you add your spinach back into the pan, a little bit of yogurt and a touch of lime. because the thing is cauliflower and spinach curry if somebody comes down to your house as a you know as a vegan host yeah there's a lot of pressure on people don't want to come around really yeah they don't want to but then they just don't know and then if you go cauliflower cauliflower and spinach on paper yeah you just sound great well it just sounds fine right you're not going to not enjoy yeah but this is like it's so good but it is you know it's the point is it's like anything take time a little bit don't rush it and then the cauliflower you just cook in because it's not really a sauce if you're listening to this is it it's not like a no no so the cauliflower just sort of cooks 10 minutes spices but you add a little bit of water as well about 300 mils of water i'm surprised it's cooked because i've tried roasting a cauliflower yeah no i always think that's quite dry yeah you need dry yeah tell us about the little uh salad that you've made so we've got this kachumba salad which is diced tomato cucumber red onion coriander and mint a little bit of salt in there as well and then the writer which is cucumber yogurt a bit of shallot finely diced and again mint and a bit of seasoning it's vegan so what yeah vegan coconut yogurt yeah coconut yogurt perfect then you got it all okay so there's a wine pairing as well the pairing that we've got is a gruner welt nene which is an austrian wine dry and crisp will be great with something spicy and rich like a curry if you want to get this wine or this recipe or all the ingredients waitress.com forward slash dish recipes would you like some more rummish this hurry yes please i would love something i didn't know is that allowed yeah of course it's allowed now this is for our valentine's day special yeah we were talking before you came on that we don't really celebrate in our respective homes do you do you guys do anything on valentine's day is there not really i mean i've uh i think i think when in the early days when you weren't sure if the other one was as cynical yeah yeah so then you go i should really do something but then then eventually i think once we had we had a conversation going should we not save the money yeah not do it yeah but i remember that i used to when i was a teenager yeah i took a girl to pizza hut on valentine's day it felt it felt incredible yeah like to do that now yeah yeah i mean i guess now it would be pizza express but yeah now you're going up in the world it's made a bit of money yeah crispy pizza listen not no not no it's a saturday night pizza express listen no salad bar not no not no oh do you remember the pizza the pizza at a salad bar oh my god when i first discovered the concept of a salad bar not i didn't discover it you know for myself yeah i couldn't believe it you're like wow and then you finish and they go you go up again if you want what it's true i remember it opening a pizza opening in rochdale yeah where i lived and i was like wow america yeah it felt so because the pizzas were like yeah before that you'd have those little like i will never forget honestly man It's like a cool memory. The cheese pull on the first piece I had for. It's like there's strings of cheese. Yeah, you are like that. Oh, my God. Wow. Bring that back. You're on a date night there. What a time. It's glue, it turns out. And they've stapled the pizza down. Yeah. Well, we're going to do something now because we want to share some love with you. Share some love. Oh, thanks, man. Not the normal type of love you may have with someone on Valentine's Day. But we did our Ramesh research and we found out you're quite hard on yourself. You were asked by the Guardian to describe yourself and the words that you used were lazy, disorganized and lucky. I still stand by that. Okay, quite hard. We thought quite hard on Ramesh. So what we thought we'd do is we'd put some of your big achievements into some oven gloves, as is tradition. So you know the game. and we could just dip in and take a pick. So this is our way of instilling some self-love into you. So these are some of your great achievements. These are some of my achievements. Yeah. You are acting in the West End with Sheridan Smith. Look, yeah. Thanks, man. I don't know if it's good, but you're doing it. Let's have another one. Go on, you read one now. Yeah, this is good. Yeah, we'll read them to you. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, okay. You've hosted the BAFTAs. And you've won bafters. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, guys. Yeah, there we go. You've rapped at the Scala in London and have your own rap name. You're a rapper. Come on. Hold on a second. I just want to pull you up on that. All right. I'm just reading this. No, well, can I tell you about that? I'll tell you the story about the Scala. You're putting yourself down again. Well, no, I'm just, listen, it was a great night. Yeah. I was in a battle, a rap battle at the Scala. I got to the final. it was me against this guy that was actually really good at it and i said my rap name ranga yeah i said you're this is going to offend you i think okay because of the lack of culinary knowledge and i said this is ranga i'm here rocking the scala you can't handle the heat of my chicken tikka masala right now i like it that that got me knocked out the competition Now, obviously, chicken tikka masala, nobody's going, oh, that's a bit punchy, that tikka masala. Right? So I got humiliated so badly in that competition. Genuinely, my friends asked to leave separately. All right. Scrap that one. All right. But thank you. Scrap that one. Scrap that one. No, but I did it. I did it. I did it. But you did it. I did it. Yeah, I did it. Yeah. Guys, you've got a whole crowd here. When you're pulling this out, they're staying silent. They weren't bothered about the BAFTAs. They were like, no, sorry, not good enough. You've won, no, won. Well, let's just say it. You've won the London Marathon. You've won it. Wait, honey, twice. There you go. You're going to do it this year? No. No. By the way, this sounds like I'm taking all of your compliments and trashing them. No way. But I'm just going to tell you something that happened. This is a genuinely true story. So, you know, they've got this, at the beginning of the London Marathon, they've got like a profile competitor's tent, right? Right. You know. And one of the guys that organizes the London Marathon came up to me on the second one. And he said, Romesh, I just want to say thank you for doing the London Marathon last year. You really helped spread the message of how accessible it is. He did not. He did. I promise you. It's like, you really like, you know, it's not just for elite. I was like, yeah, cool. I'm just about to start, by the way. Thanks for the pep talk, wanker. It was a cool thing. It was a fun thing. One more? One more. One more. One more. What are we going for? There's so many. There's so many. So you taught maths and learnt stand-up at the same time. Yes, I did. Thank you. I like this one. You've put Crawley on the map. There you go. There you go. Never heard of it. Crawley on the map. Yeah. There you go. I mean, you know, Gareth Southgate's from Crawley, so not even the most famous guy from there. And you've got Chico. Oh, Chico. Chico's from Crawley. He was famous. Mate, proper. I didn't realise that Chico time was the number one, wasn't it? Wow. Was he? Chico time was number one. Yeah, big time. Massive. Yeah, massive. Well, there we go. That's our love gift for you this Valentine's Day. Genuinely, that was actually very sweet. Ramesh, you're off on tour. Ramesh Ranganathan will change your life with the name of this tour. It's not this year. It's next year. 2027. How do you feel this far ahead, knowing that something is next year? It's going to be full on. It's a lot of dates, a lot of travel. I love going on tour, so it's not so bad. I don't find it that bad. obviously you get a bit you're obviously a bit nervous about when you start the tour but i love going on tour it's like the reason i started doing tv is to go on tour because i wanted people to come and see me and i think after you know after all the tv goes away and whatever i'll stand up will be the last thing i'll continue to do right i mean i think i'll always do that but you said it earlier that's the thing yeah the thing that's what you want to be known as yeah that's what i love everything yeah that's what i love but um the one thing i do think is weird about because it's so far in advance yeah this is the first show where i've really had not a concept but i know what i'm trying to do with this show yeah but i haven written any even a minute of it you know like i know the concepts the you know what I sort of going to try and what I aiming for But then when you haven written something and it on sale you feel like a bit of a con artist, really. You know, and then they'll go to me, oh, it's sold out, we're putting on another date. And I go, what? Yeah. What's sold out? It doesn't exist. Do you know what I mean? Are you going to be, like, there's some comedians will go and do a really small theatre to try it out, like, for three or four nights and sort of try out an material. Will you do that? or you'll just hit it hard? No, how I tend to do it is you start with like a 10-minute routine. Yeah. And then I'll phone a mate who, you know, a friend of mine, I often go to Brighton because I live near there. Yeah. So I go, I've got 10 minutes of new stuff. Can I just come and try it tonight? And then you're unannounced. Yeah. And then he'll go, we've got a special guest who's just trying out some stuff. And then I'll go on with a notebook and just go, look, I've got some ideas. Can I talk it through with you? And then maybe like sometimes all of it works, sometimes a minute of it works. and then you start to like you keep that stuff and refine it and then gradually it gets bigger and bigger and then you've got more stuff and then you start to go okay i think i've got a show now that's when you start going okay i'm doing a work in progress and then people come and uh come watch you there's a theater right down the road from my house which i i do do new material there the only problem is is like i would i remember once i did like a new material hour where it's just like me in a note, but it's like, Romesh, try some shit out is what we called it, right? And I just, I walked up, well, that didn't go very well, but who cares? Not who cares, you know, I'll be back to the drawing board. Yeah. And then I was at the shops and then somebody comes up to me and goes, do you know what would make that superhero bit work? And I thought, oh, God. I don't want to get people giving me feedback on this when I'm out and about living my life. Do you know what I mean? Doing the school run. There's somebody going, I thought I'm a punchline. So I started moving them a bit further. Move out of your county to do the comedy. Yeah, too much, too much. And that was his mum. She was telling him. Change that bit. Well, I always like it when I do live comedians. And I mean, a lot of the time it's in London. But if you watch it on TV, you see if they're in Glasgow or they've gone somewhere. They'll refer to where they are. Because everyone does have different humours as well. And the audience you must react to in different areas of the country, I imagine. Yeah, well, I mean, the worst one was I went to America to do some shows over there. they're just offended by different things. And also they don't have as many like brown people in public kind of so they don't sort of, they can't process your background. So anyway, on one of my tours, I had a bit that the gist of it was, I would join ISIS if they had good Wi-Fi. That is the premise of the bit, right? So when I was doing it, when I was doing it, When you do it in the UK, people just go, he's obviously joking. You know, like, they get it. It's a joke. I was doing Hollywood improv, and, like, I was doing a set, and it was going really, really well. And then I started doing this bit, and honestly, the arse dropped out of the room immediately. Like, I think they thought I was, like, announcing. Yeah. You could just feel them going, oh, my God. He's got one eye. He's one of them. He's one of them. Shit. It was horrible. So, you know, you kind of get a sensibility for different places. But I tend to think, like, I mean, up north is, like, wicked to do stand-up. I feel like Glasgow audiences, for example, when they like you, they love you. Like, the energy is insane. So you do feel differences, regional differences and stuff like that. That is true about the Scots. I did a dinner up in Aberdeen. And I went round to talk to all the tables. And they literally kept standing up and hugging me to the point they were like too much. And I was like, right, this is now weird. I called my husband who's Scottish. I said, what is wrong with you lot? Why do you want to take that? I said, everyone has hugged me. It's just mad. What's going on? And I said, they won't let go. And then they talk at you. But it's really like enthusiasm. I love it. We should go, Ange. Have a date night. Go see Ramesh. I'd love you to come. I'd love to come. If you want to go to Ramesh's tour, you can get tickets now. I imagine it will sell out soon, even though it's not until a year away. Once this goes out, I mean, this is... Once this goes out. They said, do dish, it's the final push. Whole tour sold out. And then you can relax. Worldwide. This is it. One cauliflower curry. Arena sold. Ramesh, it is time for your fast food quiz. Yeah, yeah, great. What is your favourite sandwich filling? Peanut butter and banana. Oh, nice. What's your favourite donut filling? Oh, well, there's a yum-yum named after me, Ranga Yum-yum. Ranga Yum-yum. It's got chocolate and Biscoff. Oh, nice. And what's your favourite form of potato? I like mash. Why'd you say it like that? Why are you saying it, yeah. Don't be embarrassed. I like mash. I like mash. I like mash. That's okay to me. I said it like, I like S&M, didn't I? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were like, okay. Yeah. I'll say I like it. Just because people are quite passionate about potato. Well, everyone at school goes roast. So it's good you've done mash. Yeah. Give it something different. What about your favourite herb? rosemary yeah lovely favourite crisp Torres black truffle dish you miss the most when you're away from home dish I miss the most is probably my mum's aubergine curry sorry Lisa happy Valentine's Day step your game up which favorite kitchen utensil i'm a big fan of the spatula yeah i really like it yeah it's versatile yeah i just i just i like the yeah bendy bendy yeah i just i like the bendy bendy yeah i just like it and i like sometimes i'll just walk around with it when i don't know Great word as well. Yeah, it's also great for scraping, like, really dry chilli oil off a kitchen cupboard. It's up there for 24 hours. What's your favourite chocolate bar? There's, like, a green and black, like, dark one with, like, little bits of orange in it. Oh, right. What's your favourite nut? I'd probably go pistachio. I think that's correct. We like a pistachio. I think it is, isn't it? Favorite topping on toast? Favorite, I mean, I'm a Marmite guy. I'm a big Marmite guy. Marmite and peanut butter's good. Oh, I've never tried that. Oh, yeah, good. Oh, I like the peanut butter. We'll give you the recipe. I've never had that one. I like Bob Bruisy. And it's peanut butter and Marmite and you just blend. You blend, yeah. On the toast or separate? I do a little separate. You do a little bowl. I get a little ramekin. Oh, right, okay. And peanut butter in first or the Marmite? What I like to do is I get the peanut butter and then I'll put a little well in the centre. Put the marmite in. I can see how that works with your spatula, no doubt. You have to get a massive rumble. Okay, Ramesh, we come to the end of the show. This is your end of the show question to win the Waitrose goodie bag. Usually, Angela Hartnett will wheel it in on that trolley. As you can see, there's no bag there. as a special guest to bring in the waitress goodie bag please welcome the one the only mr tom davis is here yes welcome you can't even get a spot as a proper guest no no no i haven't got i'm literally having to come I'm doing the bags now. He's just doing the bags. He's doing the bags, yeah. So good to see you. In this scenario, we keep saying we'll have to go for food. And now look. Now it's still there. It's done for you. Thanks for going out yourselves, yeah. Thanks for bringing that in, Tom. Ramesh, here is your end of show question to win that goodie bag. If you don't answer, Tom gets it. Oh, wow. What, in the bag? Yeah. It's not sort of vegan stuff, is it? Throw a lamb chop in it. Maybe the other thing, yeah. Yeah, we'll stick some in there. Hi, Ramesh. Thanks for coming on Dish. You made it look effortless. You did. To win the Waitrose goodie bag, just answer the following question. Of all the celebrity weakest links you've had the chance to meet, whose performance stands out? Who is the weakest link of the weakest links? Thanks, Team Dish. So what they're saying is, slag someone off to win some shopping. Just quickly, weirdly, you've never been asked to do that show, even though I'm one of your best friends. unbelievable read have you never been up no no no can I tell you something I would I said to me I think I said you'd never come up to do it it's in Glasgow yeah but by the way there'd be an easy answer right now because I'm awful at that sort of general knowledge yeah but this is like I don't just you know it's about rummish yeah I love a quiz do you love quiz I love quiz have you been on I've not been on do you want to get on you wouldn't do it would you just be honest just be honest with me now would you do weakly a bit far in there that's exactly it's a bit far it's a bit far all that way would you do it? no no because I like playing quizzes at home and games at home but under the spotlight like that I would freeze I would never be able to do it terrible I can barely remember recipes on this half the time I can never do that I think the worst answer that well two people spring to mind Tony Blackburn was the first person I ever asked a question to And the question was To Tony Blackburn What does the B in R&B stand for? And he said Soul Tony Tony I think the one that was the most humiliate Tony This was more of it But I think it was just so bad that I think it was the... You know, you're talking about the nerves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's got to be. It's Helen Flanagan. Yeah. And the question was, are the White Cliffs of Dover made of charcoal cheese? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I didn't go watch that. Oh, wow. How's that not become a more... How does that look more viral? Oh my god. It was like, because we didn't. That is awful. She's been back on again since. We did a. I'd have her back on every week. We did a redemption special where like everybody that did ask about that came back on. She did all right. She did all right. Brilliant. A lot of reading. Yeah. Round of applause for Ramesh, everybody. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Beautiful, didn't you? Thank you. if that episode has left you wanting more find us on instagram tiktok and youtube just search dish if you want to make any of the meals i cook on dish head to waitrose.com forward slash dish recipes for all the ingredients and the recipes email your questions thoughts and suggestions to dish at waitrose.co.uk dish from waitrose is a cold glass production Waitrose, the home of food lovers.